EP 18 | Former OnlyFans Star Dies and Sees Hell — "Jesus Pulled Me Out" Karina Graham's Testimony - The Salt Podcast

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Your discretion is advised. I was trafficked for a bag of
crack. I sometimes wonder what my life
would have looked like if I had Jesus in this at the center of
it. I was on ecstasy.
I despise only fans. The pictures are there forever.
It was like literal bondage for me.
Everything was pretty normal. I feel like God is doing

(00:21):
something in the adult industry.I didn't have a TikTok at that
time. 300,000 followers and within the first week I made
dollars. Well if I could make this kind
of money in one week. So me and Allah actually got
saved pretty much around the same time.
It's not worth your soul. Very demonic side to all of this

(00:42):
because I really wanted to earn his love.
The church keeps telling me to read my Bible so I'm going to do
that. It's always that first step in
faith that allows God to move inyour life.
Welcome to the Salt podcast. Today's conversation is raw and
redemptive. Viewer discretion is advised.
We'll touch on sexual sin, pornography, only fans,

(01:04):
abortion, addiction, relapse, spiritual warfare, and demonic
oppression. If any of this triggers you,
please pause and seek support. There is hope and help in Jesus.
But don't worry, Simon is underage, so we'll keep it PG.
Sorry. This episode does not glorify
sin or attack people in the adult industry.

(01:26):
It's about truth, healing, freedom from addiction, and the
power of Jesus to redeem TuneIn.This is the salt.
Podcast The Salt Podcast. Let's pick up the Bible.
Let's read, Let's pray. And because that's what Jesus
called me to do, the Lord makes you that salt of the earth.
We need Christians to share the truth.
Preserve the world for Christ. May this podcast be a beacon of

(01:51):
light. This is.
The Salt Podcast. Welcome back to the Salt
Podcast. I'm Georgia Skander.
Joining me is my delegate Co host Simon Thomas Gilter.
Today our guest was a formerly on only fans battles cocaine
addiction, experienced a near death hell encounter and says
Jesus pulled her out. She now shares a bold testimony

(02:12):
of deliverance and hope. Please welcome Karina Graham.
Karina, thank you so much for being here and joining us today.
We're really grateful for you tobe able to Share your story with
us about your courage and honesty and for trusting us with
sharing it and wanting to share it with everyone and to

(02:32):
understand that God works in every single person.
We're just going to start off very early, if that's all right,
we want to talk about. Before you do that, let's just
say that it's actually like 5:00AM Karina's time.
So we really want to thank you for joining us so early.
It's late at night here in Sydney, but very early morning

(02:53):
for you. So we really, really appreciate
that. I'm not going to mention who
woke up very early, but I didn'twant to say that.
Thank you so much, George. That's why I'm apologizing.
Yeah, sorry, Karina, just as we were saying.
So we just want to talk about your early upbringing.
Where did you grow up and what kind of family environment were
you raised in when you were younger?

(03:16):
So I grew up in Massachusetts, small town in the countryside of
it. It wasn't anywhere near the near
Boston. My upbringing, I didn't have
like a negative experience. I don't remember a lot of my
childhood, but I I had both parents, I had my little

(03:37):
brother. Everything was pretty normal for
me growing up. So yeah.
OK. You said you don't remember.
Like can you just explain a little bit about that?
What, what do you kind of mean for our viewers?
I I don't know why because I know that when memory is blocked
out it usually depicts some kindof traumatic experience, but I

(04:00):
didn't have that. I just have a very small memory
of growing up. I know that we, I grew up with
dogs and a couple chickens. My dad like built this entire
sand pit playground in the backyard for me.
We had a pool. I mean, it's it was pretty,

(04:23):
pretty rad. Fantastic.
So you said you were raised in asmall town, right?
But we're curious to know what was the relationship like with
your parents? Were you attached to them?
Were you, were you sort of doingyour own thing when you were
younger? How was it?
My mom, 'cause she's Hispanic, she was very affectionate and my

(04:48):
dad was kind of like the opposite.
But how do I explain it? It wasn't like we weren't close,
but we weren't not close at the same time.
Yeah. You had like a not like, yeah,
one, one parent was very affectionate in a way.
And then the other parent, you knew they loved you.

(05:09):
But it was a different sort of style in some ways, Yeah.
I remember I think it was like every Wednesday my dad would
bring home those little blue gummy sharks and from work and I
was just like, I would go through the whole week, like
waiting for Wednesday so I couldhave those gummy sharks.
But I love both my parents. They're great.

(05:30):
Beautiful. Amazing.
So was there any faith in your childhood?
Was Jesus ever a part of your upbringing?
I know, you know, Latina background.
Usually they have a lot of like,cultural, you know.
Yeah. Is anything like that?
So as far as being brought up religious in any way, I was not.

(05:53):
I didn't really hear much about Jesus at all.
I know that my dad's side of thefamily, like his sister, my aunt
and and that side, they were, I believe, Catholic and
Protestant. Don't quote me on that, but we'd
like the most we would do was say grace on Thanksgiving or

(06:14):
Christmas before our meal. My mom, she, I think it would be
Santeria, right? I don't really know the whole
thing 'cause I was very young. So she would line up all the
Saints on the window and light her candles and pray to each one
of them. I didn't know what what that was
when I was little, but that's that's all I remember from it.

(06:38):
Did you ever have like a yearning or a questioning about
that kind of side like growing up and you know, going through
your maturity and and understanding a bit more about
the world and how things work? Did you ever have questions or
were you not that really interested at that stage?
Nope, I had no questions. Short and sway.

(06:58):
Well, keep this one short and sway as well.
When you were a young, when you were a younger girl, did you
ever What did you want to aspireto be?
Did you ever have a career in mind that you wanted to get
into? Or was it just whatever?
So I I also was an animal lover like my whole life.
The only time I remember having an aspiration when I was like

(07:22):
really little in first grade, I think the teacher made us, you
know, what do you want to be when you grow up?
And we had to draw a little picture.
And I did horseback riding. Like I wanted to be a
professional horseback rider, but that's, that was like when I
was really little. I did go to college twice when I

(07:43):
grew up. OK, well, what did you study?
The first time I studied to be apolice officer.
Oh, wow. I wanted to, yeah.
I wanted to be on the canine unit because I love animals, so
I wanted to have like a pit bullor a Rottweiler named Killer and
just, you know, run rampant around the town.

(08:05):
That doesn't sound too safe. To be honest.
That's not the safest. Way no, it wasn't the the the
worst part about this aspirationis I was on ecstasy when I
decided I wanted to when I decided I wanted to do that.
But I did, I did go through withit, and I went to college for a
couple years. I was on the honor roll and

(08:26):
criminal justice for those yearsthat I was in there.
Yeah, until I dropped out. OK, what was the second thing
you studied? Animal care.
Oh, wow. Yes, that was more recent.
That was probably five years ago, yeah.
OK. So was there a moment in your

(08:46):
life kind of started to drift oror kind of take you down a path
that you didn't expect? Or was it something that was
there an event that took place or was it just kind of like
basically how did you go down the path of of the path that you
went down at that stage? I would say it was like my first
relationship when I was 15. I got into like I got a

(09:10):
boyfriend and fell obsessively in love with him.
And then when he broke up with me, it kind of just like went
very downhill from there. Oh, OK.
So maybe because also you didn'thave those kind of spiritual
roots, that was a big would havebeen a very big loss for you.
How how long were you guys together for?

(09:32):
Six months, I think. Short one, but it's always the
first relationship that can playwith people.
Absolutely, yeah. They're talking from experience,
aren't you, Simon? No, I'm just saying in general.
Sorry. Hey, George.
What bro? I just want to ask you advice on

(09:53):
something. Oh.
OK. Lately I feel like my prayer
life has been non existent. Why do you think that is?
Because I'm always on my. Phone.
Oh well, there's an easy solution for that.
Yeah, what's that? Well, have you heard of Hello
App? No.
It's the number one Christian app in the world.
Hold on, let me have a look. Yeah, it's got a wide range of

(10:14):
content. It's got rosary, audio, Bible in
the year, daily reflections, sleep, prayers and music.
Oh. Wow.
It's deep in my faith through guided prayer and meditation.
And you know what else? It's got a thriving global
community of believers, so you can connect and also put prayer
requests. So this app is like an all in
one. Yeah, that's right.

(10:35):
Yeah, it means they're probably going to charge an arm and a
leg. If you use our link
hello.com/salt podcast you'll actually get 3 months.
For free. Oh wow I definitely need to do
that. Thank you so much bro.
Back to the episode, So let's jump into it.
When did you kind of make the decision to go on to only fans?

(10:55):
Was it out of necessity, like financially, was it a quick
decision or was it something that, you know, you really
thought about and you were like really resisting and then you
finally decided to do it? Like, walk us through that
point. Well, I despise only fans and
everything that it represents and I always have.

(11:15):
So when it was about 5-4 years ago after COVID, sometime after
COVID, I was a repo agent and I went to a car show, a truck show
in Atlantic City. Someone, somebody there said if
I started a TikTok doing repo content that it would blow up.

(11:36):
And I didn't have a TikTok at that time.
I was against that as well. And I just thought about it
constantly until finally I was like, you know what, I'm going
to try, I'm going to try this TikTok thing.
And within three months I had like 300,000 followers.
So repo, repo content is what repossession, right?

(11:59):
Is it? I don't think that's a term we
use here. So can you explain for Simon?
Because I don't. Simon has no idea what you're.
Talking about. So repossession, I'm a repo
agent. So I go in the tow truck and I
drive around and I steal people's cars that belong to the
bank. Oh well, sounds hot, very legal
and not fair enough. Legally, yes, Grand Theft Auto,

(12:24):
but legally, yeah. So I, I did that and my TikTok
took off. And this was around the time
when only fans were starting to become very popular 'cause
after, after COVID, everybody was working from home and trying
to figure stuff out. And I remember like making reels

(12:44):
and TikTok videos against only fans and like making fun of it.
But for some reason it started to like look like a good
opportunity to make money. So I, I crunched the numbers
being a, you know, semi intelligent lady.

(13:05):
And I was like, you know what, I'm just going to give it a
shot. I'll do, you know, fully covered
stuff. That's it.
And within the first week I made$15,000 after the launch.
So at that point, it was a little difficult, very difficult
to, you know, just shut it, shutit down because I'm like, well,

(13:27):
if I could make this kind of money in one week.
OK, so we skipped a step when you became a a repo agent, like
what led you to go down that career path as opposed to like
the policing or the animal care path?

(13:47):
OK so I dropped out of college when I was studying criminal
justice because of my drug addiction.
I got involved with percocets, opiates, and a whole lot of
other things. So I just, I had to drop out and
then a few years went by. That's when I got clean and

(14:11):
decided that I wanted to start anew career.
I got a job at a doggy daycare and I was really good with the
animals there. So I was like, maybe I can make
something out of this. So I enrolled in college for
animal care. I opened my own pet care
business and it did really well until COVID happened and I kind

(14:32):
of lost all my clients at that point.
OK. So there was a bit of a
financial distress situation. Yeah, that's that's how I ended
up doing repo when the pet care business failed because of
COVID. I needed a job and my friend had
an opportunity at a repo company.

(14:53):
Not in a truck because I had never driven a tow truck before,
but as a spotter, which is like I just drive around this little
car and find the cars for the tow truck driver.
And while I was working there, Istarted dating a repo agent from
a different company and he taught me on the weekends how to
drive a tow truck. And that kind of got me in the

(15:17):
repo position in the field. OK.
And you said that, you know, youhad a bit of a, a drug abuse
issue during your college years.How did that kind of come up?
And was it something that you expected or was it something
that just, you know, it was likeone of those scenarios where
there's like peer pressure and you tried it and then you kind
of got hooked? Or was it like to cope with

(15:39):
anything that you were going through?
Like what was Walk us through that?
Well it started in high school with drinking.
After that breakup happened, thegirls like the older girls,
would they Take Me Out and say, oh, this is this is how you get
over a breakup. You get really drunk.

(16:02):
And I was very bad at drinking at that point.
So it was not a good time, but Ikept doing it.
And then when I moved like my family after that breakup, we,
they, we, they moved us to a different town and I had to like
start over in a new school. And I was very different from

(16:24):
the school that I ended up in. So I started like the school I
was originally from was very gothic emo rocker style, right?
And then so I, I moved to this place in the country and I walk
in with my heavy makeup and my fishnet shirt and everything.
And everyone is very country, you know, with their flannels

(16:46):
and very put together and high class kind of.
And I just didn't fit in. So the only way that I really
found an entry to fit in anywhere was by being able to
drink at parties with everybody.Yeah.
And then so from there, it just escalated over time.

(17:11):
And a quick question, we'll get more into it.
But when you when you were doingthese things when you were
younger, obviously you weren't the closest to God in like as
you would feel. Did you ever feel any admission
of guilt or did you feel as though maybe I'm disappointing
someone? Or was it just sort of just

(17:32):
going with the emotion, trying to make your outside self feel a
bit better? Well, as far as like
disappointing someone, I remember my dad would like tell
me stories about him and his brother and my grandfather was
an alcoholic and so was my dad and everything.
So I I was kind of following thefootsteps of my dad because I

(17:57):
really wanted to earn his love as his daughter, not even
understanding that he really loved me and cared for me deeply
regardless. But so I just started, you know,
I would drink the same. Budweiser was my favorite drink
because my grandfather drank it,my dad drank it.
It was just like a family thing.You know, the tradition for us

(18:20):
was drinking Budweiser and racing cars.
Like that was the thing. And I wanted to follow that so
that I could be accepted with mydad's side of the family or just
my dad really. And I remember when I got a DUII
had came home the next morning, I my friend helped me pick up my

(18:42):
Jeep from impound. So I could have just like played
it off like I didn't, that didn't happen.
But my dad came out and he was like, where were you?
Bah, Bah, Bah. And I was like, I got a DUI And,
and that was the the first time that I really felt kind of

(19:03):
discouraged about my actions because of the way that my dad
seemed so disappointed. He didn't say anything.
He just kind of looked down and walked away and shook his head.
But that was the only real time that I felt like, OK, maybe I'm
not doing something right. OK.
So you kind of went down this path a little bit.

(19:25):
I think obviously it's very important like to have your
identity in Christ because I think a lot of times you were
kind of trying to either connectwith your fellow students and,
and fit in or kind of connect with your family and you didn't
yet have that identity in Christ, which I think would have
grounded you and given you all that you needed.
So I think it's good that we identify that because a lot of

(19:47):
people who are listening, you know, that either have children
or are in that stage maybe can relate to the way that you're
feeling, wanting to connect, wanting to, you know, fit in,
but realize that, you know. With, with, with the absence of,
you know, the church or the absence of Christ, the absence
of a relationship with God, thatthat that can actually be a

(20:07):
crutch that can lead to that. So I appreciate you sharing that
with us. Your story sounds very familiar
to Nala Ray's story. I don't know if you have any
interaction with her or have seen her kind of story.
The fact that she was like when people think of, you know,
somebody that you know was in Only fans and came to Christ,

(20:27):
She's the number one figure thatkind of pops up.
Do you have any interaction withher or have you heard about her
story? Or does is there any
similarities between your stories?
I got connected with her a few months back but we never really
communicated at all. The funny thing is that God,

(20:47):
there's no coincidences with Godand his plan and how he he does
things. So me and Nala actually got
saved pretty much around the same time.
So it's no surprise to me that we have similar stories.
I feel like God is doing something in the adult industry.
I think he's going to use multiple people that have came

(21:09):
out of it and found Jesus to do that just because I feel that
the porn industry, the adult industry is, it's become a
pandemic. Like it's become a, a, a, a, not
a pandemic, an epidemic. Like it's very, it's just very
widespread and it's so normalized at this point that

(21:32):
the Lord's going to use people that are willing and that have
the greatest impact. Like she has almost 2 million
followers on Instagram. She can do a lot with that.
I'm just here, I'm, I'm like a nobody compared to her, but I am
unapologetically Jesus and I have no problem sharing every

(21:55):
part of my testimony because I know it's going to break people
free. I I don't know her whole story.
I haven't gone that deep with her stuff.
OK. So I just thought, yeah, if it's
interesting that it's kind of parallel with your story because
at least, you know, maybe when you were going through it and
you saw someone being public about it, maybe that made you

(22:15):
also feel in emboldened to be like, you know, public about it
as well and Share your story. It was actually the opposite.
Oh really? Yes.
So it took a a little bit of time when I saw Nala being so
open about it because I didn't want the public to believe that

(22:42):
I was just copying her. Does that make sense?
And people on online can be verymean and judgmental and stuff.
And it was kind of hard for me to step into that identity with
someone that has such a huge following, was already doing it
because my encounter was so realand so radical that I, I wasn't

(23:07):
prepared to face it with the public if, if they were going to
try and, and, and, you know, brush it off as I was just
copying somebody else. And, and so that's kind of why I
stayed quiet for 6-7 months. I kind of was just like with the
Lord in preparation mode, you know, preparing my heart to be

(23:31):
open with the public about everything.
It definitely makes sense. So something that I've that Nala
Ray, she had an interview with Lila Rose was a very good
interview. And she mentioned that exactly
like you, I see a lot of similarity.
Like she started with only fans.She thought it was great in
terms of income and she's like, you know, I'm just going to wear

(23:53):
bikinis. I'm just going to not not reveal
anything. But then she was assigned like
an only fans agency and they kind of kept pushing her a lot
to to keep pushing those boundaries.
And then she kind of was deep init.
She said that she had a lot of, she was, you know, smoking weed
a lot. And she was kind of numbing
everything. So she just kind of went with
the flow. And then she ended up going

(24:14):
much, much further than she everexpected.
Does that kind of ring true for you as well?
So I I think that story kind of runs with every model that opens
in only fans. I think we all kind of want to
keep it PG and you know, preserve our, our respect and

(24:39):
purity, you know, our self respect.
But over time, the money doesn'tmatch what you were making when
you're not doing more different stuff, like if you're not
exposing yourself in different areas, people will the
subscriptions will drop and thenthe the money will drop as well.

(25:01):
So it may not be an agency that pressures you to do it.
It might just be the fact that you went from $8000 to $2000 and
then you're like, how can I keepthe the subscribers engaged?
That was my story. I did get involved with a couple
day agencies like later on, but in the beginning it was like,

(25:25):
I'm going to do bikini stuff, you know, little flirty stuff.
And I was like, well, this isn'tmaking the money I want anymore.
So I had to get a little more rated R.
And at what? What was the Max income that you
made? What?
Like what was the peak when you were on Only fans?

(25:49):
I made about 300,000 last the last year.
OK, OK, I'm. Very healthy about very healthy.
I want to ask a question. I'm going to personally speak
for myself, but I find when I'm going through a couple of bad
scenes that it becomes so much easier for past sins to just

(26:11):
creep up and join in with all that with the current sins that
I'm doing. So for example, if someone is
deciding to swear more, they'll swear they'll they'll want to go
out more with people who are like similar to them and sway
and then that could introduce smoking and whatnot.
So with that being said, did youfind that when you were either

(26:31):
doing your only fans or did thatinvite the one the need to do
drugs or did you sort of separate your sins in a sense?
Well, so you, you mentioned now that was smoking weed while she
was doing it. There was so I had, I had like 7
or 8 years clean like off drugs.When I opened my only fans,

(26:56):
maybe it was 6-6 or seven, I don't know, don't quote me on
that. But when I started doing the
more hardcore stuff, it became harder to do it sober.
So I wasn't doing drugs, but I definitely was drinking.
I there there was a point where I had to have a glass of wine to

(27:18):
kind of loosen up and and be able to numb myself before I
proceeded with making content. Was it kind of like a roller
coaster ride and you just were on the ride or you didn't know
where it was going? Or were you constantly
throughout being like, this is too far, I got to stop or
something's holding you back? Or you feel like there's
something that, you know, was itlike burdening you or were you

(27:40):
just kind of numbing it and justmoving through because, you
know, you were earning and you know, that was the goal at the
time. It was absolutely a burden.
I never liked doing only bands. I never liked it.
It just the money was good. It it got me to Florida.
If I didn't have the money that I made, I would probably still

(28:03):
be living with my parents. So it it was like.
It was like a means to an end. It was just something.
Yeah, it was like, I'm a, I'm a single girl.
I didn't want to rely on my parents for everything.
Like, yeah, I made money repoing, but I couldn't really
save it. I think all like I, I sometimes
wonder what my life would have looked at, looked like if I had,

(28:26):
you know, Jesus in this at the center of it back then, like
throughout the whole thing, how my life would have turned out if
my parents covered me with prayer every morning and if I
was if I had that relationship growing up, I'm not really sure.
But I do think that it makes a, a big difference because you're

(28:47):
so for me, I was, you know, constantly seeking validation
and trying to be accepted from people and, and my father and my
mother and my little brother, just everybody because I was
lost. And then you you seek out drugs
and and alcohol to fill that void when the void needs to be
filled with Jesus. People say that Only Fans is not

(29:12):
just about the money, but it's also a form of empowerment and
it makes you feel like you're incontrol and you're did you kind
of have that sense as well? Well, like I said, I didn't
really like doing it. It was just money for me.
But I do see, I see that a lot where it's like an empowerment

(29:33):
move. I I was assaulted a few times
during my drug addictions. And when that happened, I ended
up so I was, I was trafficked for a bag of crack back in the
day. OK, Yeah.

(29:53):
So I had no idea that this was how we were going to get the
drugs. This girl was just like, oh, we
have someone coming, blah, blah,blah.
But she actually sold me for crack, and at that point, I
think that was the turning pointfor me to where I'm going to do
it myself. So I became a prostitute after
that that point, because I wanted the control of my body

(30:19):
and if if someone was going to sell me, it was going to be
myself. And so that opened the door to
that. And then I never really healed
from that, I don't think. So when only fans happened, it
was kind of the same thing. Like if, if my pictures are
going to be out there, I want tobe the one to put to do it
'cause I had multiple relationships throughout that

(30:41):
eight years where I was clean, where with just terrible guys
and they would record me and them like behind my back without
me knowing and then go and show everybody.
So I, I, it was kind of like empowering in that way to where
if it's going to be out there, Iwant to be the one, you know,

(31:02):
making the content and showing it to people.
Yeah, I think that's a good point.
But yeah, also the empowerment in terms of like having your own
because you're making your own money and you're you're able to
like get to Florida, not rely onyour parents, be independent.
It kind of gives you a sense of,you know, it's an it's not easy,
definitely not easy, but it's like a way to make like quick

(31:25):
income fast and you're the one that's in control, so.
Yeah. On that note, before we get into
your lovely story on how God came into your heart, I want to
ask you a question. What would you say to someone
who one is thinking about perhaps getting into only fans

(31:46):
or wanting to make an easier route of money?
Whether it's only fans, whether it's gambling, whatever the case
may be, where it's an easier route to make money, what would
you say to someone who was thinking previously in that way?
Well in regards to only fans, ifthey're thinking about making

(32:06):
one, the odds of a girl like just any girl creating an only
fans and making a substantial amount of money are very low.
Like the average girl on only fans makes between I think it's
140 and $180 a month, which is not a lot at all.
Like, and, and to get to a placewhere you're making millions is,

(32:31):
is very difficult unless you have connections and you know
what you're doing and, and you're very good with business
and social media. And so I think when it comes to
the girls that do make millions a month, like you got Sophie
Rain and Camila, all these girlson the Bop house, they glorify

(32:53):
the, the lifestyle. They have the $1,000,000
mansion, they have the G wagons,the Audis, the cars, you know,
and they're making it seem like they're selling a lie.
They're selling a dream that is very much difficult to achieve
by yourself. And I would definitely just,

(33:14):
it's not, it's not worth your soul.
It's just not. There's a very demonic side to
all of this that is just not, it's not worth it.
And then obviously the pictures are there forever.
The Internet is forever. So that's one thing that I have
to deal with. Yeah.

(33:35):
And but if it when it comes to like if you're talking about
gambling and just any way to make quick money, what does the
Bible say about quick money? It says quick and easy money
will not will not last. And and it's just that's that
was the case for me. I made all this money, but
because it was coming in so fast, it went out so fast

(33:55):
because I knew I was going to, you know, get it back quick.
And I ended up with nothing at the end except for pictures on
the Internet. So.
Yeah. So our audience is predominantly
made-up of a lot of young men and a lot of young men struggle
with pornography and lust. So from someone who was kind of
on the other side of that industry, what's something that

(34:16):
you can kind of reveal or or tell these young men?
Because I think it paints a picture of everything.
Everyone that's doing it is enjoying it and is happy, and
it's like this delusion and it'snot reality.
So from your point of view, whatcan you say to somebody who's
struggling with pornography about what it really is about?

(34:40):
OK, well, like I said, there's avery large demonic side to this
stuff. When you're watching
pornography, more than half the time you're watching someone
that is not consenting to the acts being done, which that

(35:02):
alone is extremely evil. So imagine you're, you're
putting this in your gaze and you're, you're absorbing that
that demonic activity. It separates us from God.
When I, when I was when I got saved, doing that was very

(35:25):
difficult for me because I couldlike God is watching us all the
time. And I didn't really want to be
doing that with my father in theroom.
So it was very easy for me to kind of like not do it.
When I was delivered from a demon, the demon that I don't

(35:47):
know it, I believe it came in when I was younger somewhere.
I might have watched something on TVA movie that had a highly
sexual scene in it. I don't know how it came in, but
it attached to a piece of my soul and it was in there and
when it was delivered, it manifested out of me very angry,

(36:10):
very territorial and very perverted.
I want to say just to keep it a little clean.
So when, when you think about engaging in porn and, and
masturbation and all of those things, you have to you have to

(36:31):
understand that there's an unclean spirit, there is a
demonic spirit that is influencing you to make that
decision. And it if it's not, if it's not
a habitual sin that you're doingall the time and it's once in a
while and you can kind of have alittle bit of self-control, then
it's an outside influence. But if there is no self-control

(36:54):
and you feel like you have to doit even when you don't want to,
that is something that is inside, that is within you, that
needs to be delivered out of you.
I had experience with that, where I was I didn't have
control over it and I remember repenting in my head while I was

(37:14):
doing it because it was like literal bondage for me.
Wow, how did you find yourself escaping that?
Was it just through constant prayer and being with God?
So in order for the Holy Spirit to fill me to the point of

(37:36):
deliverance, I had to really clean up my life.
It wasn't until after, it was about a week after I deleted my
only fans and made that surrender step, that step to
surrender that over to the Lord that I was able to deliver
myself from this demon. The Holy Spirit entered the room

(37:57):
one night after work and I just started casting it out and it
came up. It came up and out of me like it
was just, it was a crazy experience.
It was very radical for me, but the only way that I was able to
have enough light within me to do that and make the demon
uncomfortable enough to leave isby cleaning up my music, what I

(38:21):
watch on TV, not engaging in sexual sin.
Deleting the only fans was a huge thing.
And then I also went to a coupleevangelist meetings where people
prayed against the spirit of lust and perversion over me.
And then that kind of opened thedoor for the Holy Spirit to work

(38:42):
a week later. Wow.
OK, so I have a question for you.
When you decided to come to Christ and we'll get into your
encounter and everything soon, but did you have was it a moment
And then you you after that encounter, you deleted
everything and started fresh andwent on the path or how did how

(39:03):
did it happen for you? It took time.
It wasn't, it wasn't like, oh, I'm saved, everything's great.
And that is kind of, and I thinkit was a necessary walk for me
because in order for me to experience the grace that the
Lord gives me, in order to give the grace to other people that

(39:23):
are walking with the Lord, like new news, newly saved, newly
born again, I had to experience what it's like to go through
those motions so that I can havecompassion and give grace to
other people. I was saved in June and it took,

(39:45):
I think I baptized in November. I don't know how long that is,
like for four months. It took four months for me to
really decide to change everything.
Once I was baptized, it kind of started the process.
But in those four months, I still had an only fans.
I was still going to church withthe only fans in my bio.

(40:10):
I was still wearing whatever I wanted to wear.
I just, the difference was that I just believed in Jesus and I
accepted Jesus and I, I went with the motions.
I was like, OK, read my Bible. The church keeps telling me to
read my Bible, so I'm going to do that.
So I started doing that and I would go to church every Sunday

(40:31):
and Wednesday regardless of how I felt, and I would just really
listen. And every time that there was a
prayer request or like an altar call, I would go up and get
prayed over. Even if I felt I didn't need it,
I would just go up there. And through doing that, even
though I didn't understand and Ididn't fully believe yet, I

(40:51):
wasn't really sure like what washappening.
By doing that, I stayed on the path for the Holy Spirit to come
into my life. After the baptism, I was I, I
believe on the day that I was baptized in water, I was also
baptized in the Holy Spirit. And after that, everything kind
of started to come together. I really love how you said that

(41:14):
because I think it is extremely important for anyone that's
listening. We always kind of think that you
can't come to Christ as you are.You have to clean yourself up
and then come to Christ. But what you've just expressed
is is the biggest best sermon about that, which is come to
Christ as you are and he will change you.
Don't change yourself and then come to Christ and think,

(41:36):
because that's one of the biggest, I think tools that the
devil uses is he lets us know you know what, you're not clean
enough yet. Don't go to church.
Fix this up first. Repent.
Oh, you just fell into sin. Don't go to church.
Don't don't do all these wholesome things that is going
to start changing you from the inside out.
So I love that you kind of didn't have that immediate

(41:56):
change, but you went as you are and then God started to work in
your life. So I think that's that's really
amazing. One thing that I always say is
it's come as you are, not as youshould be.
That is like something that Yeah.
And I actually Camila and from the Bop house.
She had done an interview recently about how she was

(42:19):
feeling guilty for having an only fans and wanted to go to
church, but she didn't feel likeshe would be welcome or or
wanting to go to church because she felt guilty and knew that
she was doing wrong. And I so badly want to talk to
her because I'm like, it's that's not just go, just go to
church. The Lord will do what he has to
do. It's just that one step you have

(42:41):
to. So if you think about like the
the Moses, when, when he had to,you know, part the Red Sea, he
had to make that first step for the the sea to be parted.
You think about the Israel's Israelites when they were
crossing the Jordan River, they had to take that first step for
the the river to dissipate. It wasn't.
It's always that first step in faith that allows God to move in

(43:04):
your life. Amen.
That is so beautifully said. To be honest, I don't know what
to say. Like honestly, I really respect
the fact that regardless of how you felt, you still went.
But the most important thing I seen was like I just that I
heard from you was that your heart was open to God.
And that's all we're called to do.

(43:25):
It's that just no matter what, God is always there waiting for
us. As long as our heart is open to
him, he will always accept us nomatter what.
Think of a person in this world that loves you the most, someone
that you just know would like cannot get enough of you times
that by Infinity a number that'snot possible.
And that's how much God loves us.

(43:45):
So honestly, your testimony is beautiful, to be honest.
Yeah. I really want to get into more
of how God played a role with her life.
Like you, you said that one night after work, the day you
cast out the demon and like, what were the steps to where the

(44:06):
more every day you realize there's there's a light shining
in my heart. There's there's something out
there more than this, this stuffthat I'm doing.
Like what were the steps that made you go to there that true
happiness that you encountered? So when I had that trip to the

(44:27):
dark place, which we haven't gotten into yet, so I'll, I'll
leave that out, But when I had the trip to the dark place, it
took me months to realize what had happened to me.
And I think a lot of that has todo with being in the Word.

(44:49):
So reading the Bible aloud, God to reveal things to me and send
me revelation to the things thatI had experienced.
The more that I was in in the word, the more that I I knew the
truth and I could hear God's voice and receive from him.
So it took months to understand that 'cause I was, I came from

(45:14):
an, A very worldly lifestyle, I was involved in Reiki and new
age stuff. So what happens with that is we
believe in a higher self, like aversion of us that is above us
that we're trying to reach, right?
A higher self. So when I had my experience in

(45:35):
death, the person that I thoughttalked to me at first was
myself. I, I thought it was me and, and
finally when the Lord had revealed to me the truth about
what happened, that was kind of when it all started to click and
I was able to really dive deeper.
When I had that revelation, thatis when I got filled with the

(46:00):
joy of the Lord because I realized he saved me.
He resurrected me when I didn't deserve it at all.
I was a Sinner. I was rebelling against him.
I was, I rebuked him like I, I did not like I resented him and

(46:21):
I didn't believe in him at all. And he still came to me in death
and pulled me out of that. So that was when the joy of the
Lord hit, when I, when I realized that.
And slowly I just kept wanting to get closer to Him and just
feel the Spirit more and more and more so that I could really

(46:43):
sit in the abundance and presence of the Lord every day
of my life. Well, look, we're definitely
going to get into the encounter,so we'll get back into that, but
I'm very excited. There's a little foreshadowing
of that, but what I want to do is I want to finish off maybe a
little bit about the only fans and then we'll get into that.
So actually, one of the first things I saw of you on social

(47:05):
media was a real talking about the food that you used to eat
and the food that you eat now. And I think that caught my eye.
And then that's when I reached out to you and asked you to be
on the podcast because I thoughtit was it was an amazing story.
So can you tell the audience a little bit about that, that clip
in particular and what you were going through and what you're
currently going through? Yeah.

(47:28):
Can you explain that? Sure.
So the reason it took me so longto delete the only vans is
because my my lifestyle was expensive at this point my rent
was $4000. I had a whole house to myself
and a garage and a Porsche and abike and a truck and like it was

(47:50):
just a very expensive lifestyle that repo definitely would not
cover alone. So for months, like when I got
saved, I had this sense of urgency that I needed to delete
the only fans. It was every night the Holy
Spirit would just fill me up. And it was like, it was kind of
like he was telling me Jesus is coming back tomorrow and you

(48:11):
need to delete this thing. And I was like, I can't, I
can't, I can't, I'm going to be homeless.
Like I know I'm going to be homeless if I delete this.
Finally, I was like, So what I have to say with all that time
before deleting, it was a a timefor the Lord to to to prepare my
heart, but also for me to trust him and build faith in him.

(48:34):
And he did so good throughout that whole time in, in doing
just that, to the point where when I, the day I deleted my
only fans, I was like, I'd rather be homeless for Jesus
than rich with, with Satan. Like I'd rather be homeless for
Jesus with Jesus than have the whole world with the enemy.

(48:56):
And I just accepted whatever would happen and that I knew the
Lord would get me through it. So I deleted it and I, I made it
through the end of my lease at the, at the house I was renting,
but I was paying with my credit cards 'cause I didn't have the
cash to pay for the rent. And yeah, so at the last day of

(49:20):
the lease, I moved into a hotel room and I was just kind of
bouncing around between hotels and Airbnb's for a couple weeks.
And that was expensive. They charge per day for my dogs.
It wasn't cheap. And I was looking for apartments

(49:41):
but because of my credit, I couldn't get approved anywhere
and I really didn't have any money saved to do the first last
in security anyway. So every apt I applied to would
get denied or something would gowrong or like I need a garage

(50:02):
from for my cars anyway. But, and so I was like trying to
find a place for that would take, you know, have multiple
parking spots or a garage or something.
But every time I would go, something would happen where
like the, the rules at that apartment would change.
And it was like the Lord was just blocking these things from

(50:23):
happening. He's like, this isn't for you,
this isn't for you, this isn't for you.
And so eventually I was just like kind of defeated, like, I
don't know, I'm just going to beon the streets.
Like, I don't know what, what I'm going to do.
The Lord sent me a dream. He likes to talk to me in my
dreams. And the dream basically was
like, hey, you need to relax. Like stop looking for

(50:44):
apartments. Trust me, it's going to work
out. And so I did that.
I surrendered the apartment search to him.
And the next morning I got a phone call from the owners of
the company I work for and they,they told me that they would
give me their condo to stay at for free for three months while
I figured it out. And so yes, all I had to do was

(51:07):
surrender this, this apartment to the Lord.
He needed to make sure that I had my full trust and faith in
him. He already had it figured out
and I was trying to take the reins and figure it out myself.
He had it figured out. So for these three months, this
is actually the last month that I'm here, I've just basically

(51:27):
been eating ramen and and cutting out expenses so that I
could save up some money to get an apartment.
And I finally went out right before my birthday.
So two weeks ago, I went out to look at the last apartment that

(51:47):
was on my list from before. When I stopped searching, I went
over over to to check that apartment out and I didn't like
it. It was disgusting.
I was like this is terrible. Like it was very affordable, but
it was not where I felt I neededto be at.
But it was a Saturday and I had said I'm going to look for an

(52:08):
apartment. So I I looked on Google nearby
apartment complexes there was 1-5 minutes away.
So I decided to drive through, They had regular apartments and
then they had apartments with attached garages, which is one
of the things that I needed. And it's also on like a

(52:29):
riverfront, so there's water in the back.
And that was another thing that I really wanted.
I wanted a view and a place to walk my dogs.
So I was like, this apartment's going to be too expensive for
me, but I'll just check out of curiosity.
And it was the, they only had one apartment with a garage

(52:52):
available. And it was at the very Max price
that I, I set, that I was able to pay, that I could afford.
And I applied for it with my dad's help.
And I actually, I got the apartment right before the three
months at this place is, is up. Yeah.
So the Lord had it all figured out and He just needed me to

(53:13):
surrender and trust Him. Wow, that is amazing.
Hey, Simon. Simon, one second.
George, please. What was that for?
Have you heard about the Daily Wisdom World?
No. I think it's really important

(53:34):
that you take a look at it. I've been reading it a lot
lately. 366 biblical reflectionsfor Christian business leaders.
Yeah, it's actually really good.I've been reading it a lot and
basically what's great about it,it's only 5 minutes a day,
making it very doable if you have a very busy schedule.
And it's not like generic devotional material.
It actually addresses distinct pressures, ethical decisions and
dilemmas that leaders in business face.

(53:57):
Wow. And there's one for each and
every single day of the year. Every single day of the year
you've got a little verse and a little contemplation.
Hold on, let me check my birthday February 1st.
Oh loving God, let me, let me check your What's your birthday
again? You don't know my birthday.
Anyways, tell me more what's great.
About this is you can go to our link in our bio and basically

(54:19):
just put Code Salt podcast when you go to purchase and you'll
get 25% off. Well, thank you.
Yeah, well. Back to the episode.
One thing I quickly want to knowis how many cars do you have
exactly like a garage was a. Big big deal.
Like are we talking 5 cars? Or what's going on?

(54:42):
So I have my Porsche that I got.So when I was saved, after I got
saved, I was still like, I thought I was going to be on
Only Fans forever. Like I was still in that
mentality, like I'm going to have Jesus, but I'm still doing
only fans. But obviously the Lord had a
different plan. So I went out and bought, I
bought a Porsche and that was like my gift to myself as

(55:08):
recovery. Like, oh, I'm clean, I'm doing
great. Like let's go buy me a really
expensive car. Had I known that my life was
going to take this trajectory, Idefinitely wouldn't have done
that. But at the end of the day, like
I've been renting the Porsche out for extra money down here in
Florida. They love my Porsche.
So it's been working out. The Lord has redeemed that.

(55:31):
Yes, I have my motorcycle, my truck, the truck I own outright.
So that's mine. And then I just gave last year,
I gave my dad my old Malibu, so he had a spare car for when his
truck breaks down. Wow.
That is amazing. She didn't need an apartment,

(55:52):
she needed a condo for all the cars.
But thank God is good. God provides everything.
I know it was very difficult forme to talk about, like being on
the streets, having these cars, because I'm like, ah, like, it's
like. But I believe that the Lord
would redeem these pieces. I didn't believe he was gonna

(56:13):
kind of leave me stranded, but Ialso did surrender these things
to him. I did say, Lord, if you want me
to get rid of this, this stuff, I will just say the word.
But he never said the word. So I just kind of wrote it out
and it's been working out great.Karina, what what I love about
your story here is I think we all go through it when we go

(56:35):
through a hardship, we want to take control.
We want to, you know, it's kind of like God wants to help us and
wants to reach his hand out and solve the problem, but we're too
busy not putting it in his hand and we're holding it close to
our chest and we're saying we got to fix it.
We got to fix it, we got to fix it.
But it's just when you let go and you put it in his hands and

(56:55):
you let go of it completely, that's when God really comes in
and solves everything in the most miraculous way that you
couldn't have fixed it better than this.
So I love that story and I thinkeveryone should take a lesson
from that anytime anyone's stuck.
Yeah, that's where the peace comes in.
He's the Prince of Peace. The peace comes from fully
trusting him to work it out. It none of this is in our hands

(57:19):
at all. He's he's in control of all of
it. And when we try to take our
control back, that's when kind of things go sideways because
we're trying to do it in our ownstrength when He is our
strength. Now, now that you've kind of
come full circle and you're you're in a healthy place.
Have you ever had any experiences face to face firstly

(57:41):
with, with Christians not accepting you or accepting your
kind of conversion? And have has anyone ever
approached you face to face about your content that maybe
previously saw your content and saw saw you in person said, hey,
you know, confronted you about that?
As far as the Christians giving me a hard time, I did not have a

(58:05):
hard time. I went to the church that I was
saved was in Massachusetts. My sponsor from, you know, the
recovery meetings she brought meand they were very acceptable,
like they accepting of me, although I didn't really
disclose too much to them. But I came to church wearing

(58:30):
like really tight yoga pants anda, you know, tiny shirt.
Like it wasn't that hard to tellthat I was dealing with some
things and he prayed over me and, and while I was there, I
was like, I really want to keep going to church.
I don't believe in Jesus, but I,I, I feel like I'm just so
desperate that I need to, I needto just try this.

(58:51):
I need to give it my all. So I asked them to recommend the
church for me and I ended up at one of the churches they
recommended in Margate, FL And they, I kind of walked in like I
didn't have an only fans. Like my whole life having an
only fans, I didn't want anyone to know that I had one.

(59:14):
So I never really flaunted myself in that kind of way.
So I just kind of went to churchlike I was just a regular
person. I didn't really talk to many
people at first. I was kind of feeling the vibe.
But every time I went to church,the Lord spoke to me through the
pastor. Some, whether it was a healing
experience or a deliverance experience or something in the

(59:34):
word that was being spoken had to speak to me.
So I just kept staying and eventually I, I was in class
with the pastor's wife and I waslike, I'm going to, I'm going to
talk to her 'cause I hadn't deleted the only fans yet and
nobody there knew. Well I feel like there's a few

(59:58):
guys that knew from the church, but the the women really didn't.
And so I'm like, I'm going to talk to the pastor's wife and
I'm going to see what she has tosay or if she can pray over me
or something. And I sat down and had a
discussion with her and she, shedidn't judge me.

(01:00:21):
She just said, well, you got to get rid of that.
And I was like, I know that's why I'm talking to you because I
need some courage. I need, I need help.
And she's like, well, you, you belong to Christ.
You're, you're a newborn, you'rea new creation in Christ.
You can't be doing that, that that's not what Christ stands

(01:00:43):
for. And I was like, I know, and we
just kind of talked about it. And So what I did was I took
that and, and I just kind of made like little steps to like
deleting, like I would take the link off of my, my Instagram and
stuff like that. And then I met a couple other
girls who the same thing. They were not judgmental at all.

(01:01:06):
I had a pretty good experience with the church for, for where I
came from and everything. But at the same time, like I
said, I'm pretty open and transparent and confident when
I, when I talk about it. There's no shame in my voice
when I bring it up. So I feel like owning it kind of

(01:01:28):
helps, kind of helps the the waythat people will react online
though online I get a lot, I geta lot of pushback on it.
It's easy to it's easy to message behind the screen, but I
just want to know. I just want to tell you that
what you're doing a lot of people, a majority of people
don't do where they actually open up and they express that

(01:01:51):
their their weaknesses and what took over them.
And they do it for the glory of God to say hey to others.
They if I can be saved, why can't you?
And you got to understand that, yes, right now may not be the
most most profitable, may not necessarily be the happiest
you've ever been, or you're not eating the best food, but it's
definitely the most fulfilling. And spiritually that is enough.

(01:02:15):
That's more than anything that you ever have.
The fact that you are opening upyour yourself to people and
telling them, Hey, this is what I've been through.
I've been through so much traumawhen I was younger and LED on to
me doing this and having this addiction.
It's a very, very heartwarming story.
And there's no, there's nothing to feel except proud that God is
God is inside you and, and you are just sharing, sharing that,

(01:02:38):
that he's everywhere and, and he's full of love.
So I, I appreciate that. Like, it takes a lot of courage
to do what you're doing. I'm really happy you had a
positive experience in the church because I think a lot of
the time, you know, it's very antithetical for, for people to,
for Christianity to, to, to be judgmental like it's, it's the

(01:03:00):
complete opposite. We should be really accepting
and the fact that, you know, we're all sinners.
Everybody is a Sinner, Everybodyhas their weaknesses.
But for you to be so brave and so open about it and to put all
out there and, and be covered byChrist, grace is amazing.
And definitely any Christian should say that and just show

(01:03:22):
love and support. But unfortunately, there are a
lot of people that might like inNella Ray's story in particular,
she always says that she gets a lot of hate from Christians.
And a lot of she's been on a lotof podcasts actually, where I
was shocked that there was a guythat is quite Christian and he
was judging her horribly. Like she said something, he
goes, don't even talk to me. Like you can't even talk.

(01:03:43):
You're not even a Christian. I know which one you're talking.
About that was horrible. I was just like, that is not a
representation of what Christianity is like.
Yeah, but you got to also. Understand the podcast is
basically rage bait so. Yeah, well, that's true too.
But yeah, in general I think it's just it's very important
that Christians accept, you know, Christ was the one that

(01:04:06):
set that tone where he was always with the tax collectors,
with with the prostitutes, with the drunkards, with the sick.
He was with all the out outcast people and who else are we meant
to model other than Christ? And I think that's the most
important thing. Not everyone is going to be born
into a Christian household or gogrow up in the church.

(01:04:28):
So it takes sometimes someone toreally experience life on the
outside. So that way, because I remember
you were saying early in the podcast, I wonder what my life
would have been like if Jesus was in my life earlier.
You don't, You don't know because who knows if you'd be
able to have any testimony like this where you got to understand
you're in a situation now where young people or people in a

(01:04:50):
similar situation will hear you and say, if she can do it, I can
do it. You know what I mean?
And it's a sign to say God is with everyone, no matter what
stage you are in life. That's the beauty of it.
He, he doesn't accept us when we're at our best.
We're always at our lowest. And it is love and mercy that
brings us closer. There's a verse in the Bible.

(01:05:11):
I'm, I'm sorry, I'll just quickly say it, It's my favorite
one. It's a little bit out of
context, but it's from John chapter 13, verse 7.
And he says Jesus replied, now you do not know what I'm doing,
but later you understand. And that just goes to show it's
not on our time. We are going through the
journey, but it's according to God's will.

(01:05:31):
So we have to understand everything that we're going
through. No matter what we're doing, if
we align it to God's will and weunderstand that no matter what
we're in God's hands, then what's there to worry about?
Do you know what I mean? So God is beautiful.
Son, that was beautiful. Thank you.
Thanks for sharing. Well, I think when it comes to
like my testimony specifically, there is a huge reason that I

(01:05:56):
was shown what I was shown. And it is because when it comes
to the this particular kind of stuff, it can be kind of
sensitive and kind of hard to talk about.
And it's also these sins are sins that are done in secret

(01:06:18):
that nobody like you could hide it.
Like, you could be a drug addict, but eventually people
are going to know you're doing drugs, right?
But if you're addicted to porn and doing these things behind
closed doors, the secret sense, it's a lot harder to bring that
to the light when you can do it without anyone knowing.
And I haven't seen what I have seen.

(01:06:40):
There is not a single person on this earth that I hate and that
I cannot forgive and that I willnot pray for.
And it's because I know the end result is either heaven or hell.
And it is also because I know that anything that is evil in
this world, there's an unclean spirit behind it and it's not
the person. So I have this overwhelming

(01:07:04):
compassion and mercy and faith that I I can give to other
people that are going through stuff and and not be judgmental
or bias in any way. That's amazing.
I've got one more question, OK, you, you could choose to answer
it if you want, OK. But Katie now no, sorry.
I put a bit of a Spanish under time, sorry.

(01:07:27):
What would you do if, let's say maybe the urge for only fans
doesn't come up, doesn't come upagain, but instead the devil
attacks you with the sin of pride or a sin to just bring you
back down to where you once were?
How are you going to be able to sort of push that back?

(01:07:50):
Like I think now, personally speaking, I could be wrong, but
what I see is you're in such a joyous spirit.
It's like almost a honeymoon phase with Jesus right now.
And it's beautiful. Trust me.
It's beautiful to see and to witness, but when when the devil
tries to find a way, because that's what we are, we're always
in a battle with the devil. If it's one sin that we remove,

(01:08:11):
he'll bring another and another and another.
How are you going to be able to,not how you're going to be able
to, but what are the steps you're going to take to fight
these urges and fight these different sins, Whether it's a
sin of pride, the sin of money, going back to only friends,
whatever the case may be, what do you feel like you're going to
be able to do? Well, I know I'm joyous and I

(01:08:37):
look great, but it's just because I'm in constant
communication with Jesus. Like these things pop up all the
time. The the devil doesn't really use
only fans all that much. Like once in a while he will,
but I think he knows where I stand on that.
Like, I know too much about it to go back.

(01:08:59):
So he doesn't really use that totempt me that much.
I think in the past year, it's been like a couple, a handful of
times where I've been like, I could, you know, not eat ramen
if I did this. You know, that would be like
where that temptation would come.
But pretty quickly, I rebuke it and move on.
As for pride, that particular sin pride, I have been very

(01:09:27):
adamant in praying against that giving the glory to God every
time pride tries to sneak in because I work, I do revivals, I
serve under Apostle Daniel Adamsand I, I became certified to, to
deliver and minister to the people and, and pride will sneak

(01:09:48):
in there and try to make me feellike, oh, like I'm, I'm the best
I can do this. Like look at me delivering, you
know, demons and stuff. But the way to combat those
things is just to give it to, toJesus.
When that thought enters, I'm like, I will speak out loud,
glory to Jesus. Thank you, Jesus, thank you for

(01:10:09):
delivering this person because it's not me doing it.
It's it's the Holy Spirit. It's Jesus entering the room, so
I always just put it back on Jesus and other sins that come
in. It's the same thing.
I'm just always constantly in communication with God.
If a thought enters me that is not of God, I rebuke it and I
give it to the Lord right away. If I do something like sometimes

(01:10:32):
I can act out on anger, like I can get a little angry.
I work all the time and if I'm very tired my emotions aren't as
in control as if I'm well rested, so sometimes I'll act
out on in anger. The way that we protect
ourselves from not not allowing that demonic influence to to

(01:10:53):
infiltrate our existence is by immediately repenting.
So if I lash out or I say something that is not in
accordance with Jesus and how hewould act, I just, I, I repent
immediately. I'm like, Oh my gosh, I'm so
sorry Lord, I did not want, I did not mean to, you know, snap

(01:11:14):
at this person. Please forgive me.
That is how I stay consistently in the walk with Jesus.
I do not let any sin, no matter how small, slide.
It all goes back to the Father. I always repent constant
repentance. Wow, that's beautiful.
I love that. Yes, thanks for sharing that.
I think that's very useful. It affects your heart and I, I

(01:11:36):
will pray if I feel offended, ifI feel offended.
This, this, this is a prayer I do a lot because I deal with
Internet stuff and I will just be like, Lord, remove any
offense in my heart, remove any offense in my heart.
Keep my heart open to you. That is a prayer I do a couple
times a day just to keep my heart pure and centered in Him.

(01:11:57):
And I think that is like the oneof the biggest things that we
can do is just continuously handing things over to the
Father. That's beautiful.
And I, I really say that in you because when someone is in
constant dialogue with God or with Jesus, he reflects in, in
that person. And we can see that reflection
in you when you talk because youhave that joy, you have that

(01:12:19):
peace. And it, it's testament to the
fact that you are in constant communication with Christ, which
we can see through you. So that's beautiful.
So what I'd like to ask you is, since you've repented and and
gone down this path, do you feellike having experienced what
you've experienced, Has it left any scars or have you been
completely restored? Yeah, so I've, I've been

(01:12:43):
completely restored. There is not a piece of me that
the Lord has not put back together from my physical health
to my mental health to any kind of trauma that I've had.
It's all been released to him. He's taken it from me.
And again, it's just just constantly being in community,
in communication with Jesus and after coming, coming to Christ.

(01:13:08):
And I, I, I've had been through a lot of stuff throughout my
life. If I ever had a PTSD attack or
if I felt like a flashback that was making me uncomfortable, my
first reaction was just like, Lord, I don't like this vision.
Can you please take this memory from me?
And he he did and he has and, and I just, you know, constantly

(01:13:32):
ask asking to pray and to my weaknesses heal me in the areas
that were broken. And all of he is so faithful
that he will do it. You just have to ask and
surrender those things to him. Well.
So you have rebuilt yourself. Thank you, God.
What is? If I were to tell you now, what
is the idea of success look liketo you now?

(01:13:54):
What's a successful life in Karina's eyes?
Success is not like monetize. It's not anything that has to do
with your rich or your fame or any of that stuff.
Success for me is how many soulswill make it to the Kingdom of

(01:14:16):
heaven because of the seed that I planted.
Yes. Beautiful So before we get off
this only fans topic and move onto the next part, I'd like to
actually play a clip This clip came up recently.
It was about Andrew Tate talkingto Bonnie Blue and basically
we'll watch the clip together. But the the context is basically

(01:14:37):
he is putting it on Bonnie Blue saying like, Oh, I don't want to
make sure that if you're going to go down this path that, you
know, you don't bust out across and, you know, end up saying,
you know, I'm now with Jesus andall my whole life was about
like, stick to your gun. So I want to get your comments
on that because I think there's a lot to unpack there.
So we'll just play the clip now.And I I just really my only

(01:15:01):
thing for Bonnie. And I'm actually going to ask
you a question. I really hope Bonnie.
Yeah, that you stayed true to the end.
I hope you're real G about this.I don't.
I don't want you to start busting out a cross and talking
about God in about 5 years from now.
I'm saying that. Yeah.
So what are your thoughts on that being in that?
Like, imagine if you were in there and someone's telling you,

(01:15:22):
like, whatever you do, just don't go to Jesus.
Like, I don't think he realizes how damaging his his words were.
What are your thoughts? I actually, I made a video in
response to this on my Instagramalready.
Yes. So it's kind of funny that you
chose this clip. The power of death in life is in

(01:15:46):
the tongue, right? And I don't think people really
understand how powerful our words are.
God. God created the entire universe
by his word by speaking it into existence.
I relapsed on cocaine by speaking it into existence.
And I have a beautiful, wonderful life now with Jesus by

(01:16:09):
speaking it into existence. So what Andrew Tate just did is
he brought emotion and like a like, he brought shame into her
decision, her future decision. He kind of made an emotional

(01:16:30):
contract with her to not find Jesus and not get out and just
see it to the end. So now if Bonnie decides, or
maybe Bonnie gets like has a radical encounter with Jesus
like I did, she's going to thinkabout this interview and her

(01:16:50):
pride is going to set in and she's going to be like, well, I
can't do this Because, you know,we had this conversation and it
would make me look really bad and dumb if I decided all of a
sudden to to, to follow Jesus because of what Andrew had said.
And then she goes off to say some blasphemous things that she

(01:17:10):
needs to repent for. But I don't I think it was a
pretty. Like sending her to Damnation is
kind of exactly what he just didwithout even realizing that he
was doing that. And I don't think prophesying
someone into hell is is a good thing, ever.

(01:17:30):
Even to make a point, because I think he's just trying to make a
point as he does, yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Even to make a point, we have towatch our words.
And that's something that the Holy Spirit has taught me over
this past year and a half is if if it doesn't line up with
Scripture, I cannot say it, but someone that doesn't have Jesus
or know God or believe in Jesus is, they're not going to have

(01:17:51):
that. But I think even without Jesus,
you should know how impactful our words are regardless.
I think we should do AI think weshould just do a job in
understanding that we're all struggling.
And as much as Andrew was sort of trying to put something

(01:18:12):
towards Bonnie, we also have to pray for Andrew in a sense where
he may be lost as well. So he he want, he might be
wanting to bring someone down with him.
So that may be the case. The thing about Andrew, though,
the thing about Andrew is I do agree with a lot of the things
that he says. I think that his deliverance on
the topics are very his deliverance needs some work,

(01:18:34):
like it's very aggressive, argumentative and just like.
But that that's his style. I think his style to go viral.
It's his he's his persona. It's his persona that he's made.
But a lot of this is the thing that it gets me about Andrew
Take because there are a lot of healthy things that he says
about, you know, taking control of your life and not, you know,
protecting women. And like he says a lot of good

(01:18:56):
things, but it's also it, you know, it's just shadowed in this
ungodly side as well. It's like it's a double edged
sword. So you have to be very wise when
you when especially when young is listen to Andrew Tate.
You have to be very wise to takewhat's good and just, you know,
leave out what's bad because it can be quite damaging.
Just with everything, you have to have it in a bit of

(01:19:17):
moderation. He does say good stuff, but
sometimes he says stuff that he just wants clicks and views for.
But all we can do then is just pray for him.
That's all we can do. So I think we can close the
chapter on this, on the Only Fans discussion now.
So thank you so much for for sharing all that information.
We thank you for kind of reliving everything that you
went through because I think it would help a lot of people.

(01:19:39):
The last thing I just want to ask is if you had advice to give
to somebody that's in Only Fans right now and someone wants to
help them and tell them, you know, whatever, say something,
give them some advice. What would have helped you when
you were in the thick of it? What would have helped you if
somebody came up to you and saidX?

(01:20:00):
When while I was actively in Onlyfans.
Yeah. Is there anything that someone
like a friend of yours would have came to you and said, hey,
you know, I'm sure if someone just said hey, you should stop,
you wouldn't have listened. So what would have helped you
kind of understand that it's notgood for you and it's kind of
destroying your destroying your life?

(01:20:23):
That's actually I struggle with this a lot because I want to
plant seeds in people. But at the end of the day,
having come out of that and being in it, there really isn't
anything anyone can say at all to change your mind because you

(01:20:43):
become so hardened and emotionally unavailable and
resistant that they could call you the worst possible thing and
you would use that as fuel to make better content and more
money. It's it's very, just a very dark
place to be. Even if you come with love and,
and I'm taught and it's bringingJesus to a girl that is on only

(01:21:08):
fans is very difficult for me because I know that I would have
just like deleted the message or, or taken offense to it.
So it's, it's something that I actually think about a lot
because I want, I want to be able to reach these women in the
best way possible. But I know that for me, having
been in it, there isn't much youcan say to a woman making 50,000

(01:21:32):
a month. Yeah.
So I guess the the message here is you should be praying behind
the scenes as much as you can for these people because that's
the only thing like your experience, which we're going to
talk about soon. You had an experience that led
you to that. So OK, So before we get into
that experience, you also mentioned or I saw on your

(01:21:53):
profile that you actually went through an abortion.
And I wanted to touch on that ifyou don't mind a little bit,
just because I wanted to understand.
Is this something in hindsight, now that you've come to Christ,
you felt convicted about it and were you always like a person
that was like pro-choice and younever thought twice about it?
And when you came to Christ, youlook back on that decision and

(01:22:14):
thought, OK, that wasn't good. Or was that something after you
did it immediately you kind of felt like regret?
I was 22, I think 21 or 22 when I had the abortion.
I was heavily addicted to many drugs, heroin, meth, Molly, like

(01:22:34):
just all, all of all of the drugs.
And I didn't feel that it was suitable for me to have a child
because it would have been takenfrom me anyway.
So I thought I was doing the child a service by aborting it.
So I never really had had like, I didn't feel guilt about it
because I felt I did the right thing and it wasn't something

(01:22:57):
that was wrong a few months intobeing saved.
I would this is how I can tell that it's the Lord speaking to
me is when it's super random anddoesn't make any sense in the
moment. Like I think I was about to go
to sleep and I went to use the bathroom and I sat down and he

(01:23:19):
was like, repent for the abortion.
And I was like, OK, heavenly Father, sorry.
Yeah, like, and so the the word of God has been on my life since
since the saving. And I think my obedience is the
reason that I have came so far. And you guys can see Jesus in me

(01:23:40):
is because when he tells me something, it's because it's
very important that this stuff gets taken care of in order to
heal and and break generational curses and heal the heart and
heal the the trauma and all thatstuff.
So when he said, you know, repent for the abortion, I did
it immediately. I didn't think twice.
I was just like, yeah, I never said sorry for this.

(01:24:02):
I'm sorry for it now. And I'm very much pro-life now.
I believe Satan is after our children.
And you had mentioned at the beginning that, you know, we
need to cover our children, right?
And that is something whenever Ifind someone that has kids, I I
immediately go to you need to you need to cover your children
in prayer. You need to teach them the love

(01:24:22):
of Jesus and you need to read them the word so they can be
protected in this like super Jesus bubble from all of the
darkness that is in the world currently.
If a woman was to consider having an abortion now and and
they spoke to you about it, whatwould you say to them, Whether

(01:24:43):
it's for financial reasons, maybe similar to where they they
might be polluted with some drugs or an addiction of some
sort, what would you say to them?
Well, God doesn't do anything like he's very intentional,
right? So he's very intentional when he
does stuff and, and if someone were to get pregnant and whether

(01:25:06):
it was they were raped or it wasan accident or they can't
financially afford it, I, I, it's just God is doing this for
a reason. And I believe that had I had
that child at that time, that God would have moved in my life

(01:25:27):
and that child probably would have helped me come out of my
addiction rather than stay stuckin it.
And, and if someone was struggling with that and, and
wanting to get an, an abortion, I would just tell them, you
never know how God is going to use this child.
It could be to save you, or it could be to save others.

(01:25:51):
This child could be anointed, not yet appointed to move
mountains in the Kingdom of heaven.
We don't know and Satan is always going to try and and and
abort the ones that are chosen first and foremost.
Like like all of the biblical, you know, everyone in the Bible
was, you know, almost taken as achild.

(01:26:14):
They were killing the the littleboys.
I think Moses as well. Like was had to be hit.
Yeah. Had to go in the river down, you
know, so we have to we have to take into consideration like
God's hand on it because none ofit is by mistake and he could
use the the child for for your good.

(01:26:37):
I appreciate your take on that. It's an interesting tack.
I didn't think of it that way using using the Bible in that
way. So thank you for that.
I think now we'll move into yourencounter and but that your
encounter really starts first with the story about the kind of
substance abuse that you went through.
So you you mentioned that you had that kind of substitute.
When did that start? And like tell us a little bit of

(01:26:59):
background leading up into the encounter.
Just paint the picture for us. So when I was in my 20s, I was
very heavily addicted to drugs, heroin, all kinds of drugs.
I got clean. I think I was 23 when I got
clean. It was 2016 maybe.

(01:27:21):
And then I started drinking a couple years into my Only Fans.
So that kind of opened the door to the, you know, the enemy to,
you know, make a stronghold out of that.
So I started drinking and I didn't, I didn't go out

(01:27:42):
searching for drugs. Like I wasn't, I never thought,
oh, I'm going to, you know, do drugs again.
That wasn't, that wasn't a goal of mine.
It wasn't a thought. About a year before the relapse,
I was in a relationship and whenever the guy would ask, Hey,
what do you want to do? I would jokingly, jokingly say,

(01:28:04):
let's go do cocaine. Like that was what I would say.
And this is what I was like referring to earlier, is that
the power of life and death is in the tongue.
If you're not praying to Jesus, you're praying to somebody else.
And so Satan took that as a as aprayer for cocaine and, and a
year later he dropped it in my lap.

(01:28:26):
Like, legit, I wasn't looking for it.
I hung out with this guy by the pool of my apartment.
I had been living there for a year, never seen him.
And all of a sudden this guy pops up in the elevator and and
wants to hang out. And I was like, I didn't know
anyone. I had no connections, no friends
down here. So I was like, yeah, I mean,
whatever. So we went and hung out and he

(01:28:50):
kept offering me cocaine and I said no like 7000 times.
And he just kept kept offering it and offering it.
Finally we went out to the apartment to grab a couple
drinks and stuff. And when he was leaving, he left
the bag on my my kitchen counter.
And at that point it became a secret sin like we were talking

(01:29:11):
about. It was something I could keep
hidden. And so I was like, you know
what, I'm just going to try. I'm just going to do it.
And that kind of started. Got the got the ball rolling
with that I, I did that bag I didn't ask for anymore, but this
guy would literally leave bags under my doormat every night
after work. So when I got home I would have

(01:29:35):
it there and I didn't have to pay for it or anything.
So I got hooked and that was hisplan.
His plan was to get me hooked because he sold it.
So then I would, you know, continue buying it off of them.
Wow, the. Devil is so persistent.
Oh my goodness. Wow.
That's only that story. You just think how the Devil

(01:29:56):
just plays the long game. He doesn't.
He's just, he'll be as patient as you want him to be and then
bang, he'll get you eventually. So.
So what led to your eventual overdose and your encounter?
So I was an IV drug user, so I was not putting the cocaine in
my nose as a lot of people wouldthink.

(01:30:17):
It was going in my veins. So for two months, I relapsed in
the first week of April and for two months I was very viciously
getting high. I definitely paid this guy's
rent like and then some for those two months, which was his

(01:30:38):
plan all along, right? So for the two months, just
viciously getting high, like losing body mass.
I looked like a skeleton at the end.
And there is one day, it might have been night time, I don't
really remember. But I did way too much like I

(01:30:59):
put way too much in the shot andI did it and I believe what,
because it was cocaine, it's a different overdose than heroin.
My heart, I think, just stopped.Like it was going so fast from
the, the cocaine at all at once that it just stopped.
And I, I fell onto the bathroom floor and I and I died.

(01:31:21):
I was overdosed. I went to a totally different
dimension like I was I was dead and the the hell I experienced
like I believe that everyone's hell is going to be different in
regards to your life on earth, your weaknesses and your sin.

(01:31:41):
In my hell, it was just a black abyss.
There was nothing. It was so dark and it was like
consciousness without any existence of God at all.
Just just blackness and demons were all around me laughing, but
I believe like they were behind me, like I couldn't see them.
It was very dark anyway, so I think they were trying to hide

(01:32:03):
so that I couldn't see them, butI could hear them laughing.
The joy that they had that I wasdown there was disgusting.
It was like a evil little kid playing with Barbie dolls and
ripping heads off. Like that's what it felt like
when I was down there. What they how how I was tortured

(01:32:23):
was with my own thoughts, which turn if you put that side by
side with my actual life. My thoughts have been my my
hardest battle throughout my entire life was my own thoughts.
So it makes sense that when I was in hell, they took my
thoughts and tortured me with myown thoughts.
So I would think something and they would create the image made

(01:32:47):
out of blades. Now these blades were very
bright. I don't know if you look at a
look at the sun and then you close your eyes and you get that
kind of distorted image. That's kind of what the blades
look like. And they would make take form of
the thought. So my first thought, I'll never
forget. The first thought was an
elephant. I don't know why I thought

(01:33:08):
elephant when I was down there, but that was the thought.
And so this elephant formed in the back of this black tunnel of
just weird looking knives and itwould speed up and cut right
through me and I could feel the pain but I could not move and I
could not speak and I could not go anywhere.

(01:33:28):
I was just like held down. And this kept happening every
thought. And the more I was like
conscious down there the more thoughts I would have.
So it it would get worse the more I would think.
And eventually, I don't know howlong this went for, felt like
eternity, but through this darkness the Lord spoke out and

(01:33:53):
he said, you can wake up now. Those words did not appear in
the shape of knives because theywere not my thoughts, they were
of God. And when he spoke, the demons
that were torturing me down there, that were laughing, they
started to tremble, which is biblically accurate because

(01:34:14):
demons tremble at the sound of his name, at the sound of his
voice, right? So they started getting very
afraid. And in a few minutes, I woke up
on the bathroom floor. Wow.
Hey, George. What bro?

(01:34:34):
I just want to ask you advice onsomething.
Oh, OK. Lately I feel like my prayer
life has been non existent. Why do you think that is?
Because I'm always on my. Phone.
Oh well, there's an easy solution for that.
Yeah, what's that? Well, have you heard of Hello
App? No.
It's the number one Christian app in the world.
Hold on, let me have a look. Yeah, it's got a wide range of

(01:34:56):
content. It's got rosary, audio, Bible in
the year, daily reflections, sleep, prayers and music.
Oh well. It's deep in my faith through
guided prayer and meditation. And you know what else?
It's got a thriving global community of believers, so you
can connect and also put prayer requests.
So this app is like an all in one.

(01:35:16):
Yeah, that's right. Yeah, it means they're probably
going to charge an arm and a leg.
If you use our link hello.com/salt podcast you'll
actually get 3 months. For free.
Oh wow I definitely need to do that.
Thank you so much bro. Back to the episode well.
You could reply. I don't know what to say to that
one. So when you woke up, what did

(01:35:40):
you, what did you feel and what what happened was the next step?
Saved. She would have felt saved.
Were you were you completely OK or were you still like groggy
or? I thought I was dead, I thought
I was a ghost and I was walking around.
I remember feeling panic becausemy dogs came up to me like

(01:36:02):
running super happy to see me, but I felt that I was in a lag
like I felt like I was not in this dimension, Like I felt like
they couldn't see me or I was I was I was alive, but in a in a
three second lag like it like ithappened, but I wasn't really.

(01:36:25):
It was a very weird state of mind.
So I walked around the apartment, like, kind of like,
you know, trying to figure out if I was alive.
And I walked around the apartment.
I could barely really walk. I was kind of loopy.
And I went to the bathroom and Ilooked at myself in the mirror
and I had a cut. Like, I must have hit the corner

(01:36:47):
of the the bathroom counter withmy face.
And I had a cut here that was bleeding.
And at that point, that's when Irealized that I was alive
because I wouldn't be bleeding if I was not alive.
And I kind of grounded myself then.
OK, how long do you reckon in physical time did all this

(01:37:08):
happen from when you fell to when you got up and looked in
the mirror? Like if you were to put a time
frame to it. I have no idea it felt.
Like. Forever, Yeah.
Like there was no time. Yeah, it's interesting.
We've had a few guests have an experience of hell and they
something that was similar, as you said, the blackness, it was

(01:37:29):
so black and that's a very common term that everyone that
has a hell experience, they justtalk about.
Long darkness. Yeah, how black it was like the
blackness was so black. And even someone was saying one
of the stories that we heard wasthey didn't want to close their
eyes afterwards because they didn't want any darkness.
They just wanted any kind of light.

(01:37:49):
So after their experience of hell, they're like just wanted
to cling to any light because itwas so black and dark.
So that's very interesting. That's a common I can.
I can attest to that. I was afraid of the dark for
four months. Well, very interesting.
So you heard Jesus voice saying you can wake up.

(01:38:10):
Did you know it was Jesus? How did you know that it was
him? Nope.
Like I said, I was very involvedwith worldly, the worldly side,
the Satan's perverted version ofthe truth.
So when the voice came to me to wake me up, I thought it was my
higher self or my greater consciousness, my higher

(01:38:32):
consciousness. I was very much thinking that it
was some supernatural spiritual event that occurred that had
everything to do with, you know,the law of attraction and, and
all that, you know, stuff. And even when like, I went to
see my shamans not too long after that and I talked to them

(01:38:52):
about it because I was like trying to figure out what had
happened. And yeah, they, they were just
like, they didn't really know what to say either about it.
And I was just convinced it was my higher self that woke me up.
Like, all you have to do is believe in yourself and you can.
Wow, just just crazy. So what happened was when I got

(01:39:15):
saved and I gave my life to Jesus and I even though I still
didn't believe in him and I, I didn't know what had happened.
It took time, but I just keep, like I said, I kept doing the
things, I kept going to church, I kept reading the Bible.
And the more that I did those things and allowed the Holy
Spirit to enter and work and andteach me, that is when I was

(01:39:35):
able to start hearing the voice of God and receiving revelation
for what really occurred. So what?
What point did you then take? So after this, walk us through
it. So you, you had this near death
experience or death experience, you went to hell.
You thought it was just yourself.
You went to all the physical people that you thought could

(01:39:57):
help, like the shamans or the new age stuff and they didn't
have an explanation. So after you had that near death
experience, what happened next? What?
What kind of took you to the next logical step to finding
Christ? So the the event happened, I was
on and off at my repo job currently like back then, but I

(01:40:17):
kept relapsing so I would kept getting fired or something.
It was just like a a really chaotic time.
The day that I died, I had to goto work the next day and I think
I was late, like really late andand then I got fired again.
So this time I just, I just was like, I can't work, like I just

(01:40:38):
have to quit and just keep it as, as a quit.
My ex-boyfriend, remember the one that I was saying, I was
praying for cocaine. Like without knowing it, he
actually, he came and rescued me.
He, he flew out and bought like a car and took me out of the

(01:41:01):
apartment and we had like a little road trip back to my
parents' house just to get me clean, which I'm so, so grateful
that he did that for me because in my own strength and being so
alone here, I don't know that I would have ever gotten out.
And so while I was at my parents' house, I had a little

(01:41:21):
community from the recovery meetings from back when I was in
get really heavily engaged with meetings eight years ago, or I
guess it's longer now, but that doesn't matter.
My sponsor. So my sponsor, she goes to
meetings, but she's also Christian and she goes to church
every Wednesday and Sunday. And while I was up there, I

(01:41:45):
wanted to see her and, and I waslike, let's go to church, right?
So I was like, I want to go. And I, I don't even know what
compelled me to want to go to church.
I don't know if I brought it up or if she brought it up, but
something was like you should goand she brought me.
And while she while we were there, her pastor was the one

(01:42:05):
that came up to me and had me stand and, you know, do recite
the salvation and repentance prayer out loud.
And I had never, I've been to church one other time before
this when I first got clean, butit didn't sit with me.
So I had, I had never gotten this prayer.
Like I've never prayed this overmyself, like I've never given my

(01:42:28):
life to Christ, accepted him as Lord, believed that he died on
the cross and repented for my sins.
Like I never did that out loud ever.
And that was kind of, that's where it started.
That's where it all started. So was there a second experience
with God and you kind of came toknow that that was Jesus that

(01:42:50):
was communicating with you? Yes, so when it was like 4
months later in November, October, November, late October,
I had my my church was doing a baptism.
It was November 4th was going tobe the day, but the week leading

(01:43:11):
up to it. So I was so stoked.
I, I have never been excited to be baptized or any of that.
I was so stoked because I had done so much like sitting with
God and reading the Bible and going to church and learning
about him and stuff that I was like so excited to, you know,

(01:43:32):
create this covenant with him and like put the old life behind
me and, and rise with Jesus out of the water as like a testament
to my faith to him. And I was, I was just so
excited. But the week leading up to the
baptism, you know, the Bible says you cast one demon out,

(01:43:53):
he'll go to the desert and then eventually return with seven
that are greater than him. I was heavily tormented the week
before my baptism. Like up until 6:00 in the
morning, I could feel demons like all around the shadows,
like all around my bedroom, likeso scared, just tormenting me

(01:44:17):
and keeping me awake all night long.
And I would, I would even be trying to like board up my house
because I was like, I don't knowwhat to do.
I couldn't sleep. I was so, so afraid.
So I was heavily tormented the week leading up to the baptism.
The day of the baptism, I was extremely angry and anxious and

(01:44:37):
afraid and I and, and the only thing that kept me in this path
to do the baptism to go through with it was the, the, the
reading that I had done with theBible and understanding that
Jesus was tempted and that thesethoughts are not of God because
God would want me to be baptized.
So these thoughts are coming from the enemy because the enemy

(01:44:59):
doesn't want me to give my life to Jesus.
The enemy is like, Oh no, we can't let her do this.
It's like they, I believe that apartial deliverance happened
during my baptism. And that was another big reason
why the the demon didn't want meto go in the water because it
didn't want to be casted out. Demons, when they're cast out of

(01:45:22):
a person, they go back to the pit of hell and they actually
torture each other. It's a really, really terrible
place. And so that is why they fight so
hard when when you're about to be delivered, they don't want to
leave because they have to go face the consequences of failing
their mission. And so I was so angry and like
giving everyone attitude. It was, I was really embarrassed

(01:45:45):
after this, but like the people at the church were like, oh,
excited. I was just like, don't talk to
me like I don't want to. I was so mad and but I forced
myself to like, regardless of how I was feeling, I forced
myself to do this baptism and I there a lot of the fear that I

(01:46:06):
was feeling too. Aside from, you know, the
influence of the demonic, there was also this part of me that
knew what I would have to give up.
Like it was going to cost me something and I knew that.
So I was a little afraid of whatwould what would happen after.
Like I knew when I came out of the water, my only fans had to

(01:46:31):
go. My lifestyle choices had to go.
Like it wasn't, oh, I, I just got baptized.
Everything is the same. Like I knew everything was going
to do a 180. So that was scary.
But I went in and, and I came out and I was crying.
I had never felt so overwhelmed with emotion and, and joy and,

(01:46:52):
and, and fear and all of like everything all all together at
the same time. And I just was crying and crying
and crying and everyone was like, why does she, you know,
why is she like crying so much? Like I had conversations after
with some of my church friends about my reaction to the
baptism. And because the Holy Spirit

(01:47:13):
really filled me and I was delivered in that moment.
And so those, those demons that left, they came back with their
friends after the baptism too. And they just kind of tormented
me to the point where I relapsedagain.
Like I, I had four months clean or something and I ended up

(01:47:38):
going and getting some cocaine and I almost overdosed again.
Like almost. I remember doing it and I laid
on my my bed and I felt the presence of a demonic weight
like flying from the corner of the room into my body and just

(01:47:59):
pressing. And at that moment I prayed to
God and I said, Lord, I don't like this anymore please make it
stop. And within 5 minutes I was
asleep. I woke up five hours later
completely sober and with the amount of cocaine that I did.
It's not, that would not have been possible just to fall

(01:48:21):
asleep like that. And that moment kind of
solidified what I was thinking from, you know, going to hell
and everything. It solidified the fact that the
demons are real, I'm not crazy, and that God is also real.
And he cares and he does come toour rescue and he did resurrect

(01:48:46):
me and he's still doing it. Even though I relapsed, He still
was there and faithful and and allowed me to have some peace
with it. I also feel like he did that on
purpose. Like I feel it was very
intentional, the relapse. He allowed it to happen.
He allowed me to be tormented because he needed me to be fully

(01:49:09):
faithful and grounded in him. And I needed more answers that I
didn't have for what I experienced.
So that moment. So I got baptized.
I relapsed. God like put me to sleep.
He he was like, we'll bring you peace.
I woke up sober. I went to church that night.
I had the pastors pray over me. I was so desperate.

(01:49:31):
I ran up to them. I was like, please pray for me.
I didn't want to tell anyone that I relapsed at this point.
I was like, it's going to cause too many problems because, you
know, people are going to worry.People are my dad, my so I was
like, I just want to sit with the Lord.
Like I know what I experienced and what I felt and that I'm not
going to do it again. I don't need the naysayers to

(01:49:52):
come, you know, bring doubt to me.
So I kind of just kept it under wraps for a little while and I
had them pray over me. And the next morning I woke up a
completely different person. I, I didn't have a swear word in
my mouth. I threw out all of my crystals.
I threw out all of my clothes that didn't glorify God.

(01:50:15):
My entire like I stopped listening to secular music.
I just would not let the enemy have any access to me.
And if anything that I did did not glorify the one who saved my
life, I did not want any part ofit.
Well. Incredible.
Yeah. Incredible.

(01:50:35):
So ever since then it's kind of been you've been on this path
that's like, that was the turn. Real, real turning point.
Amazing. Yeah.
Because the first time you feel overwhelmed with joy, but the
second time that happens, it's where it's where the challenge
really kicks in. And then you have to find a
solution. And it's only the solution that

(01:50:55):
we have is through God. With that being said, what would
you say to someone or a friend or a stranger who lacks that
faithfulness or that that understanding that God is in
control, who's battling an addiction or is in some sort of
cycle of despair? How can we How can they
proactively become better or or seek help?

(01:51:23):
My advice that I give to anyone that comes to me with some sort
of an addiction is just to startreading the Bible and constantly
like repent it does. So there's a lot of shame that
comes through a relapse, right? And there's shame that comes

(01:51:45):
through sinning in general. And I actually had this
conversation with someone not that long ago that reached out
to me, said that they were struggling with an addiction.
They didn't tell me what kind ofan addiction, and I just told
him, listen, read your Bible, even if you don't understand it

(01:52:07):
and you don't know what's going on and it's hard to do, just
read a little bit. Leave it open on your counter so
that you can read a verse every time you walk by it, however it
makes it happen. And then whenever you relapse or
you do it again, just apologize to the Lord and give it to him.

(01:52:32):
And every time that you do that,it strengthens your spirit.
So you're reading the Bible and you're, you're not placing shame
on the ACT, but you're, you're, you understand that it's wrong
and you no longer want to do it.And the Lord sees that in us
when we're just, when we really truly just don't want to do it,

(01:52:54):
but we're in bondage and we repent for them and we pray for
deliverance and we pray for the Lord to take it from us.
Those are the steps that I would, I would recommend to
someone that is struggling because ultimately Jesus is the
way out. So we have to trust him to see

(01:53:14):
that through. I love that it's very, very
practical advice. I really like how you, we've
asked this question to a few people and sometimes it's not
very tangible, but you gave a really tangible action that
people should do. Just say sorry and and read your
Bible. I think that's that's beautiful.
Yeah. It's really we tend to
overcomplicate a lot of things. Yeah, definitely.

(01:53:34):
But it's so simple. So we're reaching towards the
end of the interview. So we have one last question and
then we're going to do somethingcalled a salty segment, which is
just 12 fast questions. We get short, sharp answers just
to, to, to get some information out of you.
But before we do that, I, I was curious with your Christ journey

(01:53:56):
that you're on now. It, it seems very modern.
And you know, I wanted to ask, have you ever explored or looked
at more of the Apostolic or Orthodox like early church
church in your journey? Or have you kind of just what
what, what is your experience? Have you ever been curious to to

(01:54:17):
find out about the more Apostolic Church or the, you
know, traditional churches? I haven't gone that deep into
the the different churches. No, I am learning a lot under
Apostle Daniel Adams. I, I attended his prophetic
school and I do a lot of, I sit through his teachings and stuff,

(01:54:38):
but doing, like I said, I work alot.
So doing research when I get home at night is, is very
difficult. But I am interested in learning
as much as I can about all of this.
The different, the historic likethere's like this Bible, I can't
remember what it's called, but it starts with an A and it's
like a very old Bible that has more scripture in it that they,

(01:55:03):
before they took out, took out and made the modernized Bible.
And I really want to like. They're they're judo canonical
books. They have the judo canonical
books in there. It's called the Apocrypha.
I want to get one of those and, and read through that and, and
understand like everything I, I want, I need to read the book of
Enoch. There's still a lot of of

(01:55:24):
learning that I need to do, yes.Book of Enoch, I think that one
is not in in our Bible. Actually, I think it's the, the,
the Apocrypha. There is I think nine books or
something like that, But one that I would really recommend
that you look into that I think is a beautiful story is the book
of Tobit. That is a a really, really
beautiful book. And actually there is a a story

(01:55:47):
in there with, you know, demon, demon possession and things like
that. It's very interesting.
And an Angel kind of comes and saves the day at Archangel
Raphael. So I think it's really
interesting. But yeah, it definitely would
encourage you to, to know more about, you know, the early
Church because that's we're, we're, we're Orthodox.
And I, you know, I, I love our faith and our roots and our

(01:56:08):
faith because we have really, God's given us a lot of
mysteries and sacraments in our church, like communion and
confession, repentance. So yeah, definitely something
I'd, I'd love to introduce you to and encourage you to know
more about. Because for example, just one
thing, communion is such a valuable thing that we have,

(01:56:29):
which is the liturgy that we do on a we have on a daily basis in
our church is centred around having the Holy Communion, which
we believe is the body and bloodof Christ, which, you know, is
such a beautiful tool. And I feel like it may be it's
under underutilized in a lot of churches or modern churches.
It's kind of used as just a symbol.
If it's done, usually it's not done.

(01:56:50):
Usually it kind of revolves around the Gospel, you know, the
gospel reading, say we our, our church, really our, our liturgy
revolves around the Eucharist, which is the body and blood of
Christ, which is, you know, becoming one with Christ.
So definitely something I I really encourage the.
Church I attend is just like a Christian regular Christian
Church but we when we do communion we use it as a time of

(01:57:13):
reflection and also we understand that is the blood and
body of Christ as well. Amazing.
Very good. Hey, Simon.
Simon. One second, George, please.
What was that for? Haven't you heard about the

(01:57:35):
Daily Wisdom world? No.
I think it's really important that you take a look at it.
I've been reading it a lot lately. 366 biblical reflections
for Christian business leaders. Yeah, it's actually really good.
I've been reading it a lot and basically what's great about it,
it's only 5 minutes a day, making it very doable if you
have a very busy schedule. And it's not like generic
devotional material. It actually addresses distinct

(01:57:57):
pressures, ethical decisions anddilemmas that leaders in
business face. Wow.
And there's one for each and every single day of the year.
Every single day of the year you've got a little verse and a
little contemplation. Hold up.
Let me check my birthday. February 1st Oh loving God, let
me let me check your What's yourbirthday again?
You don't have my birthday. Anyways, tell me more.

(01:58:20):
What's great about this is you can go to our link in our bio
and basically just put Code Saltpodcast when you go to purchase
and you'll get 25% off. Well, thank you.
Yeah. Well, back to the episode.
Fantastic. All right, I'll get Simon's lead
us into the salty segment. We'll go to a lot of part of the
interview now. Thank you so much again for

(01:58:41):
everything. So we'll ask a couple of
questions back and forth and then whatever comes to your
mind, feel free. OK, first question, we'll get
rid of it out of the way early. What's the first word that comes
to your mind when you hear the word Only fans?
Out of the question. I'm not good at rapid fired

(01:59:05):
questions. I want to say Satan.
Strong A worship song that brokeyour chains.
Oh, I have a few. Do you just want one?
Give us the top one. Doesn't like making, doesn't

(01:59:26):
like picking. We'll give you, we'll give you
top, we'll give you top 2 if youwant just to make it a bit
easier. So my adoration song is Jesus,
We love you, and my deliverance song is Yeshua.
Oh, beautiful. Beautiful.
What's 1 scripture that you tendto cling to in warfare?

(01:59:48):
One scripture I can't remember, it's Psalm 73 I think.
But it it goes, my mind and bodywill fail.
But you are my strength, and I choose you forever.
Wow, how? Beautiful.
It's a beautiful sound. Most underrated spiritual
discipline. What?
So most underrated spiritual practice that somebody can have

(02:00:12):
in their life. Give an example.
Like for example could be reading your Bible that could be
underrated. Oh.
Like people created. Yeah.
It's something that people don'tlike, you know, it's just not
taken very seriously. Like, you know, it's just one of
those things. I'll just read your Bible.
Talk to great like you should. You should always be talking to
God. Like I don't care if you look

(02:00:32):
crazy, but I will be in the middle of a repo and I'll be
just like, something will happenand I will look up and I will be
like, really like that is the relationship you need to have
with Jesus. Like everything that you do.
I pump gas. I say thank you, you for the
gas. Lord, something goes wrong.
Lord, thank you for this opportunity to teach me

(02:00:55):
something like every minute of the day should be a
conversation. I love that.
Gratitude in everything. Constant dialogue.
Yeah, yeah. What's one thing that you
thought about yourself in a negative way that Jesus took
away? I'm negative.
A lie you would have told yourself?

(02:01:16):
A stigma you would have had about yourself that Jesus just
absolutely took away for you. Well, he took them away so like
intricately that I don't remember.
He did such a good job. I don't remember.
All right, So what? I know I struggled.

(02:01:36):
I struggled with like comparing when I was in this world.
I did a lot of comparing to other people.
What they looked like, what theyhad, how they were they acted,
why they had more friends than Idid.
All, all kinds of comparisons that I used to do, but now I
only compare myself to Christ and how close I am walking with

(02:01:58):
Him. Beautiful.
Lovely. Inside.
What's hell in one sentence? Disgusting.
Doesn't even need a sentence. That was said with enough.
Conviction to. Be a sentence, yeah.
Disgusting. What's freedom in one word?

(02:02:19):
What's freedom? Yeah, or one.
Sentence Jesus. It's Jesus.
Exactly right. What's advice you would give to
a 19 year old Karina I took? My name a 19 year old Karina
Well. The American one, not the
Spanish one. What other people say or think

(02:02:43):
about you doesn't matter. That's very true.
What's a prayer someone can say when they're addicted to porn?
Addicted to drugs? What's a prayer that you would
suggest someone to to say themselves?
Usually when I have something that I'm struggling with, I will

(02:03:05):
always ask the Holy Spirit to fill me in the parts that are
broken. I pray into my weaknesses.
So self-control is the fruit of the Spirit.
So we want to pray into self-control because if we're
acting out in an area where we're addiction addicted to
anything really vaping, porn, drugs, self-control is lacking.

(02:03:28):
So we want the Holy Spirit to open that that fruit up for us
so that we can more actively walk in the truth and have the
strength to, to get through it by God's strength.
So I, I would definitely just, well, you want to repent for

(02:03:52):
forgiveness, Pray the the Lord delivers you from that.
Pray that the Holy Spirit fills you in the areas that are
lacking, broken, missing or thatneed assistance in growing.
And I would also end the prayer with surrender.

(02:04:13):
Just Lord, this is yours. This is from this is for you to
take care of it. I surrender this sin to you.
Please, please help me get through this with you.
Wow. Beautiful.
That was a beautiful one word. Thank you.
How can someone escape depression while they're at
their lowest? Well, depression, if you feel

(02:04:39):
depressed, it's OK. Like you can pray.
Pray against it, pretty. Just pray against it and you'll
start to feel better. But if depression is coming as
an identity, it's a spirit, there's a little you got to be
the spiritual warfare involved involved with that.

(02:05:00):
I dealt with depression after that relapse and I really had to
dive deeper in the word, dive deeper in prayer.
Even if I was super tired and depressed and didn't want to
leave my bed, I I wouldn't get ready for church.
Like I would just literally go in my P JS, but I would go

(02:05:21):
anyways. I think doing the things that
work, even when we don't feel like doing them is how we we get
through them. Because what depression, the
spirit of depression, the spiritof suicide is going to do is
it's going to come in and try tooppress you to the point where
you don't do those things and keeps you far from God.

(02:05:44):
I'm not going to go to church because I'm sad or I'm tired.
I don't feel like it. I'm not going to read my Bible
because I can't think. I'd rather take a nap.
I'm not going to pray because why would the Lord want to hear
my prayers? I'm just some nobody, you know.
That is what the enemy wants us to believe.
And eventually it keeps us sick and in this cycle and of
bondage. But if we stay true to the truth

(02:06:08):
and the Word and the Lord, and stick by His side just like He
sticks by ours, that is when thedepression, the exit of the
depression, comes quicker than you know, letting it play out
longer. Well, we'll close off on the
Salty segment for now. Thank you so much for those

(02:06:30):
answers. They were amazing.
We're heading into, I promise you, the final stage of the
interview, but we always ask thesort of deeper questions at the
end because we want to take our audience through the journeys of
our guests. And you've taken us on an
absolute roller coaster from when you were younger to your
first relationship at 15, to your many occupations.

(02:06:54):
With that being said, my question to you is, do you
believe that God allowed you to go so deep Into Darkness for a
greater purpose? And was was it to lead others
out for whatever it may be? Or is there any sort of regret
that you would have had in your life?
Absolutely. I believe that everything I went

(02:07:16):
through was just the path being made.
He was making the way for me to pull other people out of
darkness. I'm not sure what that really
looks like yet, but he's been moving in my life in a very
large way, so I'm excited to seewhat capacity he's going to use
this story to to help others. Can I say just as an outsider

(02:07:42):
looking in, definitely, definitely can see God's plan
for you? I can see it so clearly the way
you articulate yourself is very personable, very like real.
It's very real and it's very practical.
And I feel that sometimes you need somebody that's gone
through it to be able to give you that practicality.

(02:08:02):
And the way you have been answering our questions and
explaining everything, it just shows first hand experience,
which is something like, you know, as much as I would love
to, you know, help somebody in that position, if I've never
been in that position, it's hardfor me to give advice.
But because you've God's allowedyou to experience this and he's
chosen you to experience all these things, I really do feel

(02:08:24):
like God has such a calling for you to be able to help people.
And it's very clear the way you're talking and the way
you're doing. So, you know, stay on your path
because I'd really feel that you're going to move millions.
With that said, what is a core message that you want every
listener to take away from this interview?

(02:08:44):
A Cormesh message. I think if there's one thing
that I want everybody to understand is that Jesus loves
us so much that even when we don't believe in Him and we are

(02:09:06):
completely rejecting Him and rebelling against Him, even at
that point, He is still right next to us, guiding our every
move and every walk and every decision.
From the time that I was little up until now, Jesus has been

(02:09:31):
there the whole time and He proved that when He entered the
darkness, He came into hell while I was a Sinner and
rejected him to pull me out and save me.
And that is what He wants to do with every single person on this
planet. The reason Jesus hasn't returned
yet is because He wants the majority of us to enter the

(02:09:54):
Kingdom of heaven. He doesn't want anybody to be
left behind. That's how much He loves us.
So when I pray over someone thatdoesn't believe in God, that's
usually what I'll pray. I'll be like.
God loves you even when you don't believe in Him.
That's it. That's the message.
Beautiful message. Beautiful message.

(02:10:16):
I think George articulated everything perfectly.
Thank you so much, Karina. We're going to end with the
question that we ask all of our guests, and it is what does it
mean to be the salt of the earthand how can we become the salt
of the earth? Well, the salt of the earth,
salt has many different uses, right?

(02:10:40):
It adds flavor. It preserves, I think, in
preservation of our purity, our righteousness, our holiness with
Jesus, that we walk as the salt of the earth.
We're preserving that, you know,covenant with the Lord.

(02:11:01):
We're preserving that. And then we're we're salting the
environment. We're seasoning it with a good
flavor, something that tastes good, that is going to be
soothing and gentle and compassionate towards the person
that is that we might be planting the seed for being the

(02:11:23):
salt of the earth is extremely important in the walk because
like, like I just said, we have to, we have to preserve what the
Lord has ordained over our livesand spread it like, like
seasoning. Wow, thank you so much, Karina.
We really, really appreciate your time.
Thank you for waking up so early.

(02:11:43):
Thank you for bearing with us through this long interview and
going through all these topics, taking you on a bit of a roller
coaster with us, but we really, really appreciate it and we pray
deeply that God continues to bless you and that you reach
millions of people with your story.
Thank you. Amen.
Amen. What George said we.

(02:12:04):
Thank you so much for everythingGod.
Bless. Thanks, Karina.

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EP 18 | Former OnlyFans Star Dies and Sees Hell — "Jesus Pulled Me Out" Karina Graham's Testimony

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.css-14f5ked{margin:0;word-break:break-word;display:-webkit-box;-webkit-box-orient:vertical;box-orient:vertical;-webkit-line-clamp:2;overflow:hidden;}EP 18 | Former OnlyFans Star Dies and Sees Hell — "Jesus Pulled Me Out" Karina Graham's Testimony