Help Alienated Kids

🎙️ Episode Title: Help Alienated Kids

In this episode, we reflect on a powerful video from the Anti-Aliénation Project titled "No One Is Helping the Kids Because the Experts Won't Work Together." Hosted by Madison McCain in conversation with Dorsey Pruder—both adult survivors of parental alienation—the video highlights the frustrating reality: children are being harmed while professionals argue over definitions.

We dive into the divide between two main schools of thought—those aligned with Richard Gardner’s Parental Alienation Syndrome and those, like Dr. Craig Childress, who advocate using established psychological abuse criteria found in the DSM.

This episode also explores the importance of elevating the voices of adult children who have lived through alienation, recognizing them as the true experts in this field.

Drawing from my own background in crisis intervention, child abuse prevention, and legal advocacy, I share insights into why the system is failing children and what reforms, especially in legal education and training, could make a real difference. 

👁️‍🗨️ Topics Covered:

• The professional divide around parental alienation terminology
• The real impact on children—told by those who lived it
• Legal system shortcomings and training gaps
• A path forward: five key areas where education on Parental Alienation is needed.
• Why survivor voices must lead the conversation

If you care about child welfare, family court reform, or the psychology of family trauma, this episode is for you. Don’t miss this critical conversation.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Episode Transcript

(00:01):
A few days ago, I watched
a video by the Anti
Alienation Project called
no one is Helping the kids
because the experts
Won't Work Together.
And in this video,
the founder of the Anti
Alienation Project
brought up some very
important issues.
Her name's Madison McCain,
and she was talking with

(00:21):
Dorsey Pruder in this video.
And they both have done
a lot of
work and bringing awareness
to the issue of parental
alienation because they're
both adult children
that were victims
of parental alienation.
They brought up the fact
that the experts

(00:43):
that are supposed
to be helping children
are arguing about
whether Parental
Alienation Syndrome is
really something.
And they call those
the Gardeners, named after
Richard Gardner,
who came up with
the mythology, or theory
that there's something
called Parental
Alienation Syndrome.

(01:05):
The other side of this is
the work of Dr.
Craig Childress,
and he just takes people
through a checklist.
And in this checklist, there
are a number of symptoms or
things that have occurred.
And you can use the checklist

(01:25):
to make a diagnostic,
determination of
psychological child abuse.
And the argument for
using this is it's right
in the DSM already.
There's no need to
prove Parental
Alienation Syndrome.
We just need to prove
the outrageous psychological

(01:47):
abuse that's being
perpetrated on the child.
And I would agree with this.
Now.
I became an attorney after
serving as a crisis
intervention volunteer and
in order to be a crisis
intervention volunteer I had
to do a 68 hour training and
we went into great depth on

(02:09):
sexual assault, domestic
violence, child abuse, the
integration of All types of
]abuses
that a family
and the victims within
The family experience.
And in addition to this,
I served on a child
Abuse Prevention Council

(02:29):
for over eight years.
And this is a collaboration
of people from a hospital,
the school district, the child
welfare services,
wraparound services,
people who could help at
risk families to prevent
child abuse.
And when I decided to go on

(02:51):
to law school and I finish
and I get out, I thought,
I'm going to do a bunch of
training so that I can dive,
do a deep dive into this
issue because I was
passionate about it.
And to tell you the truth,
I was extremely
disenchanted with the lack
of understanding

(03:12):
of the integration of sexual
assault, child abuse.
And the power and control
wheel, domestic violence.
And it was just glossed over
in some of the trainings
that I experienced.
So there I'm going to go
through five areas where I

(03:33):
think if we could expand
on these, it would make all
the difference in the world.
For the true experts
on parental alienation.
And who are the true experts?
The children
that lived through it,
that who have experienced it,
they know more
about it than anybody

(03:54):
else, and they're
in the best position
to help others.
And I will get to what we
can do for them later.
So the first area is legal.
Attorneys and judges
are required to do
continuing education,
but our, continuing
education is thin.
I've read about and seen

(04:16):
Reports from judges that
were went through the
Family Law Judge Boot Camps
and felt ill prepared to
deal with the issues that
they were facing.
So there is an organization
in Reno, Nevada, called
National Council of Juvenile

(04:36):
and Family Court Judges,
they train judges.
This is an excellent and very
Well-regarded institution.
And they have a deep
understanding of sexual
assault and domestic
violence, and they actually
publish materials that
can help victims.
And again, if this

(04:59):
organization had
training on parental
alienation that they
could give to each judge
with the checklist, and
I trust they're doing this,
That would be a huge
help.
Then we move on to national
association of the Council for
Children's Red Book training.
I did the Red Book training,

(05:19):
and I attended their
national conference.
The Red Book training.
Goes through important
issues doing with having
to do with child welfare,
including the Indian
Child Welfare act and
children in foster care
and the rights that they
have and how to best
advocate for them.

(05:40):
But I felt like I didn't
see anything when I did
The training in 2019.
And it would be really
helpful to have a curriculum
expanded in the area
of parental alienation.
There's an organization
called Association of Family

(06:00):
and Conciliation Courts,
afcc and they did a really
good white paper.
I will put in the links
in the description
and it's over 30 pages long.
It's volume 33 and it
was published in 2021.
This paper goes into great
Details on how children

(06:22):
can come to reject
the parents, and it's very
well done and written.
The next area, number two
is medical
professionals, and medical
professionals need awareness
of the symptoms
that are manifesting

(06:44):
for children that
are being alienated.
And some of these symptoms
that I've heard through my
work and I've heard Madison
mention in some of her
videos and others are,
anxiety, irritable bowel
syndrome, depression and

(07:04):
copresis, headache, stomach
aches, anxiety, cutting,
banging ahead, other self
harm, substance abuse and.
Phonic anxiety, like
a child actually shaking
when they get near
their targeted parent.
These are all symptoms.
So if a medical professional

(07:27):
comes across unexplainable
symptoms where there's no
real logic, it would be
really important for them
to ask further questions.
So just some basic training,
along with their mandated
reporting that, that every
mandated reporter is
required to do on parental
alienation, because it is a

(07:48):
child abuse form, would be
really helpful.
It's just another, front line
on discovering and dealing
with child abuse.
The next one, of
course, is therapist.
I can't tell you how
many therapists I have
personally spoke to
that know very little

(08:09):
of parental alienation.
They might have heard of it,
but they haven't bothered
to read up on it or
to know and understand it.
And this should be
a basic concept.
It should be required
in the continuing education
and of course
should be required in any
schooling for any type
of a social worker,

(08:29):
therapist, psychiatrist,
psychologist.
It's just so important.
Every one of the people
that provide mental
health services
should know of this.
And fourth is
parent training.
And I'm not talking about
just training the targeted
parent, but training, the

(08:52):
alienating parent, forcing
them in a divorce situation
to take a parenting class
and listen to victims that
have been, been victims of
child abuse via, parental
alienation so that they can
see that the outcome for
their kid is not good.

(09:12):
Now, there's some people
that are generally evil.
They're still going
to continue this behavior,
and that's what
the courts are for.
But if we can at least put it
out there, I'm sure we may
persuade some of the
alienating parents to stop
their behavior and try to
undo some of the harm that
they've caused.

(09:32):
And that's why I started
the school of custody.
I want to make a difference
for children.
I want every parent
to know and understand what
can occur for your child
if you don't stop
the alienating behavior.
And for the targeted parents,
what can you do to mitigate

(09:54):
some of the damage that
your child's experiencing?
Number five, and this is
the most important child
victims need to speak up.
They need support.
They need resources if
they have to, if they
need therapy, if they
need to go through a

(10:14):
program with other
survivors, whatever it
is, we need to have
support for them because
this causes all kinds of
pain.
It can cause relationship
issues, health issues,
substance abuse issues.
It's not something we
can continue to ignore.
We have to make a difference.
We have to come up with

(10:35):
programs to support the
adult children, but we also
need them to speak up
because with just so few
adult children of parental
alienation speaking up.
It's not enough.
There's just not enough of
an awareness of the issue.
A few other additional
steps that I think
would be important is.

(10:57):
Children who are still
under the jurisdiction
of the court, meaning that
their minors need
and deserve a guardian ad
litem to advocate for them.
But they need them to be
specifically trained
on every type of child
abuse, including.

(11:18):
Child psychological abuse
and parental alienation.
I just want to say I'm
so grateful that people like
Dorsey and Madison and also
Ryan Thomas have spoke up
about their experiences
in a very public way.
To help with the issue,
I would encourage any

(11:38):
child that has had similar
experiences
to reach out to them and see
what you can do.
Can you help?
How did you discover it?
This is what's going
to make a difference
for the next generation.
Nobody should have
to go through this.