The Self-Hype Podcast

If your knee-jerk reaction to conflict is to shut down or freak out, your subconscious might be stuck in the third grade. In this incredibly nerdy and insightful episode, Eli geeks out with Danny B, a certified aerospace mental fitness coach who works directly with the teams at NASA. Dani breaks down the literal neuroscience of how our brains get programmed, and hands you the exact blueprint to rewire those outdated neural pathways...

If you just caved and texted your toxic ex, hooked up with him, or stalked his new girlfriend’s Instagram story—take a deep breath. In this solo episode, Eli is letting you off the hook. He breaks down why failure in your healing era is not actually failure; it's a completely normal biological response to losing your "tribe." Eli explains why beating yourself up is a waste of energy and challenges you to ask a different...

If you have a history of making a man the absolute center of your universe and abandoning your own life, this episode is your intervention. Eli is breaking down exactly how to protect your independence without sacrificing a secure partnership. He unpacks the harsh truth that your partner is supposed to be your support system, not your cure—and if you expect him to fix your anxiety or loneliness, you're setting the relationshi...

What happens when your "perfect on paper" life suddenly falls apart? In this episode, Eli sits down with author and former corporate lawyer SC Perot to talk about surviving the ultimate life plot twist. SC opens up about the acute grief of navigating divorce during the pandemic—losing not just a partner, but her community, her house, and her dog. She explains how she traded her corporate blazers for feather boas, using long w...

If you are terrified of losing yourself in another relationship or repeating the same toxic patterns, this episode is your official game plan. Eli answers one of the most common questions he gets: How do I actually "do the work" when I don't currently have a partner triggering me? He breaks down why you can't truly simulate a romantic relationship while single, but how you can still prep your nervous system for a secure one. Sharin...

In this highly requested solo episode, Eli takes a hilarious, unfiltered look at the classic Disney princess movies that secretly ruined our dating expectations. He breaks down why we’re all addicted to a delusional, “fairytale” view of love—and how media propaganda has conditioned us to chase a non-existent spark. From dragging Snow White for moving in with seven roommates, to questioning how Ariel expected...

We all know the post-breakup urge to grab mimosas, turn up, and numb the pain. But in this episode, Eli and guest Colleen Freeland break down exactly why drinking through your heartbreak practically guarantees you’ll repeat the exact same toxic patterns in your next relationship. Using her own story of navigating divorce and high-functioning alcohol dependency, Colleen explains how outsourcing your sense of safety to a bottle...

Eli is dropping the ultimate truth bomb for anyone stuck in a frustrating relationship trying to "fix" their partner: you cannot change a man. In this quick, hard-hitting solo episode, Eli breaks down why dating for potential—when it's entirely one-sided—is just delusion in disguise. He shares his own journey of doing the inner work, revealing that he didn't heal his avoidant tendencies to save a relationship, but becau...

In this solo episode, Eli is hitting you with the ultimate post-breakup reality check: when are you actually ready to start dating again? He breaks down the crucial difference between just "healing while single" and giving your nervous system the required time to fall in love with your own life. If you are downloading dating apps out of FOMO, anxiety, or the fear of being left behind, this episode is your intervention. 

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It’s time for the quarterly Q&A! In this episode, Eli opens the mailbag to answer the wild, messy, and deeply relatable questions submitted by the Selfhype community. He breaks down exactly why men use "gray language" to keep you in a situationship, the real reason an avoidant jumps right into a new relationship (and why it’s not a reflection of your worth), and why your ex blocking you everywhere is actually a sign...

Eli uses the latest season of Love is Blind as a masterclass in modern dating psychology and attachment styles. He breaks down the painful phenomenon of men on “autopilot”—guys who stick around and coast through a relationship simply because they don't want to be the bad guy, leaving you anxious and begging for their attention. From analyzing why some women double down when a man pulls away, to unpacking why a sta...

Is your attachment style standing in your way? Our guest this week, published author, licensed therapist and attachment coach Jessica Da Silva breaks down the science of why we love the way we do. We’re talking childhood wounds, fear of failure, and how to tell if you’re actually ready for intimacy or just performing. Stop running from the "scary monster" of vulnerability and learn the tools to sit, regulate, and repair...

If you’ve ever said “He’s avoidant, but our connection is different,” this episode is your intervention. Eli walks you through the real post-breakup cycle of an avoidant man—from love bombing and intensity, to shutdown and defensiveness, to the late-night “Hey stranger” text that has you questioning everything. Using his own past as an avoidant, he explains why him watching your stories, te...

Tiffany Yu didn't just survive a car accident at nine that killed her father and left her with a paralyzed arm—she built one of the most impactful disability advocacy platforms in the world. In this raw conversation, she takes us through the process of not only loving herself but turning it into action and advocacy. Tiffany shares how she went from a nine-year-old to the founder of Diversability, a global movement born from h...

This episode is for the girl in the oversized sweater, scrolling couple photos, lowkey raging at Walgreens heart displays, and wondering why this day hurts so much. Eli walks you through how to survive Valentine’s Day when you’re single — not with fake “I don’t care” energy, but with honest, messy, human feelings that actually lead to healing. He gives you permission to be sad, angry, or triggere...

On this episode of The Self Hype Podcast, Eli sits down with Gina Moreno, a coach helping high-achieving women — especially Latinas — navigate ambition, self-care, and relationships. Gina shares her journey from tech prodigy and TED Talk speaker to discovering her true purpose: coaching women to break generational patterns and embrace their full potential. They dive into her early successes, the quarter-life crisis that...

This week we're talking rebounds — why they're not “moving on,” why they’re actually the loudest, clearest red flag your ex could ever wave, and why you should be doing a happy dance when you find out he already jumped to the next one. This episode breaks down the mental & emotional game men play when they can’t sit with their feelings, why rebounding is just external validation on steroids, and ho...

Sam became a double hand amputee overnight — and nothing about his life was the same afterward. In this deeply honest episode, Sam shares what it’s like to lose not just your hands, but your sense of normalcy, confidence, and control. We explore the emotional weight of trauma, from mourning the life you had to facing a world that suddenly feels inaccessible and unfamiliar. Sam speaks candidly about relearning daily rout...

Eli doesn’t just talk about “dating app tips.” He pulls the curtain back on the whole system — because these apps are designed to keep you swiping, not to help you find a partner. In this episode, you’ll hear how men move on the apps (spoiler: it’s not deep analysis, it’s survival mode), why men get fewer matches, why women end up “CIA-agent screening” everything, and how both s...