August 13, 2025 • 25 mins
In this heartfelt episode of The Survivors Podcast, Lisa and Gretchen delve into the simple yet powerful wellness habits that keep us grounded, especially when life feels overwhelming. From gratitude practices and breathing techniques to setting boundaries and rediscovering joy, they share practical, achievable ways to nurture your mental, emotional, and physical well-being.
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Whether you’re looking for crisis support, downloadable resources, or an extensive archive of mental health articles and videos, The HelpHUB is here for you. From episodes of The Survivors Podcast for suicide loss survivors to interactive tools and professional connections, we meet you where you are—and help you move forward with strength and support.
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Episode SummaryAugust is National Wellness Month, but Lisa and Gretchen remind us that wellness isn’t something we practice once a year—it’s a daily commitment to our mental, emotional, and physical well-being. They talk about how gratitude, mindful breathing, better sleep habits, setting boundaries, and reconnecting with joy can be life-saving tools during grief and heavy seasons. With stories from their own lives, they show how even small, consistent practices can help us regulate our nervous systems, protect our energy, and keep moving forward—one day, one moment at a time.
Lessons Learned in This Episode:
- Gratitude is a mindset shift – Even in deep grief, small moments of gratitude can keep us grounded.
- Wellness isn’t fancy—it’s consistent – Simple habits like journaling, breathing exercises, and mindful breaks have a big impact over time.
- Boundaries are protective, not selfish – Saying “no” creates space for your own healing and priorities.
- Joy and grief can coexist – Moments of play and laughter are powerful tools for mental health.
- Connection matters – Small acts like using someone’s name or checking in can boost both your mood and theirs.
Chapters:
00:00 – Episode Open & Trigger Warning 00:37 – National Wellness Month: What It Really Means 02:01 – Why Gratitude Works (Even in Grief) 04:19 – Simple Wellness Habits That Last 07:27 – Mind-Body Connection During Grief 08:41 – Breathing Exercises That Calm Your Nervous System 09:59 – Using Technology for Mindfulness & Sleep 11:22 – Avoiding All-or-Nothing Thinking in Self-Care 14:08 – Nature as a Wellness Tool 15:37 – Human Connection & Boosting Serotonin 16:34 – Boundaries: Saying Yes to Yourself 20:36 – Digital Detox & Reclaiming Your Time 22:36 – Reconnecting with Your Inner Child 23:57 – Joy & Grief Can Coexist 24:22 – Wellness as a 365-Day Commitment 25:44 – Final Thoughts & Encouragement
📚 Resources for Mental Health & Support
🔹 The Survivors Podcast Website – https://thesurvivors.net/ 🔹 The HelpHUB™ – Mental health resources, tools, and support networks – https://www.thehelphub.co/ 🔹 Schoser Talent and Wellness Solutions – Mental wellness coaching & support – https://schosersolutions.com/ 🔹 Sh!t That Goes On In Our Heads – A raw, award-winning mental health podcast – https://goesoninourheads.net/
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
The Survivors is brought to you by our friends at the Help Hub. This
podcast mentions suicide, mental illness, grief and loss and may be
triggering for some listeners. So please take care of your mental well being
by pausing or skipping any sections that feel uncomfortable to you. And if
you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988 for support.
(00:22):
Hey. Hey. How you doing? I was using
my sexy voice. I don't know why. Are you drinking from your
cup? Of course I'm drinking from my cup. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers,
Cheers. Oh, wait. Oh, sorry. Can we turn around? Clank, clank.
Yes. Shameless plug. So it's National Wellness Month,
G. It sure is. And guess what? We're not going
(00:44):
to talk as much about today. Suicide.
No. Oh, you got to get your head in the
game right now. No, I was going to say football.
No, we're not. Not talking about spa days and juicing
and. See what I'm saying? Okay, I'm a little slow.
It's all right. This is about sustainable mental,
(01:08):
emotional, physical wellness. That's what we're going to talk about.
Wow. That was. That was funny. That was actually really funny. We're talking about
the kind of wellness that keeps you going when
life feels very heavy. And I feel like. I feel like life
is feeling very heavy for most every single
person who I talk to these days. Same.
(01:30):
Yeah, we won't get into it because we never do, but
politically and lots
of shared trauma that I feel like we
are all watching on television and somehow
internalizing and all the
normal day to day things that everybody worries about as humans
(01:53):
anyway, but just things just feel heavy. So I'm glad
we can talk in terms of National Wellness Month to talk about
what to do about that. Yeah, things are very heavy right now.
Very, very, very heavy. And for me, some of
the practices that I started and that I think will help
other people, not just in
(02:16):
this month, but in every single day of your life.
Start your morning with being grateful.
A gratitude practice is so good
for your health, both physically and
mentally. I want to do an exercise with you and everybody else who's listening.
(02:36):
And I know for a fact that I have not made this comment at all
this season. And I may have made it once last
season, but I. I'm not sure. So when you are in
a state of gratitude and you are
actively thinking about someone or something that you are
grateful for, would you agree
(02:58):
that it's impossible in that moment? Whether it's
10 seconds, 30 seconds, if you can do it for a minute, whatever it is,
you cannot feel Any negativity if you are in a moment of
gratitude? Well, I believe that. I believe
that 100% every morning. For me, my
mornings start with a 20 minute funny video
(03:20):
because I need the laughter to kind of break up the cortisol in
my stomach. But then right after that,
I say what I'm grateful for. And I've been doing that every
day since January 20th, and it's made a huge
difference. Like, I'm grateful for so many things. And
gratitude goes a long way. It does.
(03:43):
It absolutely does. And it's hard
to put something like gratitude alongside something
like grief or struggle.
Because if you're grieving or you're struggling
or you're trying to support someone who is, it's often like wellness
itself can feel really impossible. Feeling gratitude
(04:06):
can feel really impossible to do,
but it's not. It really. It's not
impossible. And the amount that you do it
is entirely up to you. Maybe you've lost someone you love and you can only
muster up like a second or two of flashing to a sweet memory with
that person or listening to them say I love
(04:29):
you, or thinking about something
meaningful that they've said. Like, it works.
And even on your hardest days, like for me,
starting on December 26th, the thing I was grateful for is that
I'm still here fighting. Those are things to be
grateful for. Because, man, life gets hard.
(04:53):
Really hard. It does, which is why
wellness is so foundational. And
obviously, when we're thinking in terms of
National Wellness Month, which August is National Wellness Month,
we think about things like physical health, which
obviously is so very important.
(05:15):
Spiritual health, we think about mental,
emotional health. They are all important.
And it doesn't have to be fancy. The foundation
that we create for ourselves, it can be
exactly like you said, it can be a matter of a few simple
practices that just suit you
(05:39):
in starting your day. I mean, for me, it looks
like getting up out of bed every morning. And the
first thing I do, you've been to my house because you came and visited me
this summer. So you saw where I meditate every
day upstairs on that big square bolster
pillow. And that's how I start my day,
(06:00):
with intention. So that even when I know my days will get
absolutely insane and I'll be on calls and we'll be doing tapings and
I'll be writing whatever it is, I know that I have
those moments of calm that I can kind of refer back to
in my mind for reference and remember what those moments
of calm felt like for a sec, for a second. Even if I can't even
(06:24):
if I can't get anymore. And here, like, here are the things that people don't
even think could be foundational. Every morning, you didn't see me do this
because you weren't awake yet. But every morning I
have my protein powder. It's fruit
punch. It's like a fruit punch with. With protein in it. And I drink my
fluids and I have my collagen in my coffee, and I sit
(06:45):
down with my journal for five or 10 minutes, and
I do a. A meditation. And maybe it's 30 seconds, maybe it's two minutes, you
know, maybe I'm lucky and I get five minutes. Those are the
things that I do. But when you do those things
on the regular every day, that is wellness.
That's wellness. It is. And like other. Other things
(07:09):
you can do for wellness are like, maybe
you're working, but take time out of the day to get
outside for a little bit, turn your screen off on your. On your
phone. Just have a mindful moment to yourself.
Makes so much difference. It does, it does.
And doing all of the things that we've just been
(07:32):
sharing, I mean, these are things that you and I have shared before in
other episodes in different contexts. But
when we're talking about things like grieving
in particular grieving something as heavy and as
impossible as suicide, which this is what
we talk about, this is what you and I focus on most of the time.
(07:54):
That mind, body connection is so
powerful. And our nervous system when
we're grieving, especially when we're grieving that way, is
under constant stress and we don't think about it. It
shows up in our bodies. Our muscles are
tight. We have headaches. Maybe we
(08:17):
are fatigued. You know how you just feel like, I can't get out of bed,
or everything seems heavy and hard. Maybe you can't
sleep. There are things that
even someone who is in the thick of grief
can do to help themselves. They can do breath
work. I never believed in it before. Even just
(08:39):
the 4. It's 4, 7, 8. Have you ever heard of the 4, 7, 8
technique? There's like box breathing. Okay, so you inhale
for four, count four, then you hold it for seven
seconds, and then you exhale it for eight seconds. And
it's super duper simple, but it
grounds you and it regulates you.
(09:01):
And even when we are in our most
stressful moments, something as simple as that
can bring us back down to that plateau where we
want to be. So you know what's funny? But it's
not really funny. So I have. But we're calling it funny. We're going to call
it funny. So I have a VR headset and there is a
(09:23):
mindfulness app on the headset. And it
walks you all through box breathing and relaxation.
For me, I use it at night before I go to sleep
because it does like a little relaxation, like a wave kind of thing.
Or I did another, another one that was like a
kaleidoscope. And then it walks through breathing
(09:46):
exercises. And it really helps me sleep better at night
because it takes all the bad energy out
and I'm focused on that. One thing is just going to sleep.
Yeah. And that's so powerful because we,
we don't often consider
(10:07):
how much our sleep helps us or lack of sleep
hurts us. And when we're
talking about overall wellness, that's a huge pillar.
It's not just about how much we hydrate or how much we move
our body or how well we fuel ourselves. It's also
(10:27):
about how well we shut down and how well
we sleep so that everything can get rebuilt and regenerated and
repaired and. And I know for me,
I mean, you know, we talk about this, you and I offline all the time.
The fact that I sleep like two or three hours a night and it is
not for lack of trying, and I
absolutely know that if I could
(10:50):
somehow find a way to do better
with my sleep, I just feel like that's the missing link for
me with a lot of my own wellness. But
look, I'm trying. What can I tell you? I'm doing everything I can do. Maybe
I need your VR headset. Well, for me, I didn't
think it would be helpful, but after I started using it five
(11:12):
nights in a row, I know I did notice I started sleeping better.
But I also take gummies to help me sleep because I'm tired
of waking up in pain. That's self care. Yeah.
Those are wellness habits. I think that
a big part of creating these kinds of habits
for ourselves is doing it without the pressure. We tend
(11:35):
to think, oh, I have to do all the things. I have to check off
all the boxes. I have to do all the jumping jacks and drink all the
fluids and journal all the pages. And do you know, it's not like that
for some people. Doing an all or nothing works
for the majority of people. I feel like that doesn't really work. That's how people
get burnt out and overwhelmed. So pick a habit. Pick an anchor
(11:56):
habit to work on during
wellness month. Just maybe it's. You and I are
both big journalers Maybe we journal. Maybe you set a timer and you journal for
three minutes. Maybe you're in the shower and you're just practicing
your 4, 7, 8 breathing techniques while you're
already doing something else. You're in the shower getting clean. The
(12:19):
point is that it's not about
creating perfect, inflexible habits.
It's not about that at all. It's just about giving
yourself what you need. To
be able to stay calm when you need to stay calm. To be able to
(12:40):
persevere when you need to forge ahead. It's all. It's all those things. And
that's the essence of National Wellness Month. It's
teaching yourself how to give yourself what you need when you need it. And that
can mean physically or emotionally. When you're grieving, it can mean in
all the different ways. Struggling with your.
Mental health, feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just alone.
(13:04):
Well, you're not. Welcome to the Help Hub, your online destination
for mental health resources, content and tools to help you
navigate whatever mental health challenges you are facing in the moment.
At the Help Hub, we offer individualized resources tailored to
your unique needs and community. With over 16 different
categories to find exactly the kind of personalized help you need
(13:27):
when you need it most. Because even though we all deal with many of
the same challenges, we don't always experience those challenges the same
way. So whether you're looking for crisis support,
downloadable resources, or an extensive archive of mental
health related articles and videos, we've got you. From episodes of
the Survivors podcast for Suicide, Loss survivors and lived
(13:49):
experience blogs to interactive tools and professional connections,
the Help Hub meets you where you are and helps you move forward with
strength and support. Remember, you don't have to do this
alone. Visit thehelphub.co today.
Another thing you can do too is if you live in a place where you
(14:11):
can get out in nature, nature will help you with
your mental wellness and just healthy and
breathe some fresh air. Get outside, breathe some fresh
air. Most of us are staring at a computer screen every day.
Get some fresh air. Yeah.
The point is, every single one of us deserves
(14:34):
to take care of ourselves. Not just when
things are good. It's really to be able
to take care of ourselves when things aren't good. That's. That's
the point of building these habits and
practices. It's so that we can be
okay when we're not in a position of being
(14:57):
okay. I
love all these. So another thing that you can do
is to start making those connections again. Reaching out to somebody
once a day, it could be A call, it could be a text.
It could just say hello to somebody as you're walking into the store.
(15:17):
I know a lot of people don't do that anymore. I do. I
like to make people smile and just
saying, hey, how are you doing today? Or hey, good
afternoon or if you go into a store, everybody wears name
tags, say their names. You have no idea how much
that just boots boost the serotonin. Like, oh, somebody said my name
(15:39):
and they're not yelling at me. You know, connection is huge. Not just
during National Wellness Month, but every day,
make some connection. Talk to people.
Yeah. And also too like you're saying talk to people. But I'm also thinking of
it in a different way too. You can't pour from an empty cup
philosophy that I'm thinking of it from, from that perspective too.
(16:01):
Wellness is not indulgent.
It's, it's not, it's protective. We have to be able to
set boundaries. And maybe your
wellness this month is, is about
learning how to set boundaries so that you're taking care of you and
you're saying yes to you and you're
(16:23):
putting your priorities ahead of maybe the other people
whose priorities you're considering most.
Yeah. I think one other thing
you can do too is I do this on Sundays. I do self care,
check ins for texts. I just text people just
(16:46):
to make sure that they're doing okay. If it's somebody I haven't heard from
in a really long time and make a cognizant effort to
check in on people, but check in on them with a question
that they actually have to answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes
back to the whole extroverted. Like you asked us how we're doing
and we're going to tell you, oh, we're living a dream. In reality we're
(17:09):
probably not right. Exactly. This does not
have to be some revolutionary idea. It just has
to be your own practices that help
you to feel better
in a more general, all around sense.
It's just about learning how to get regulated, learning how
(17:32):
to stay regulated. And
like we already said, it doesn't have to be anything big, it just has to
be consistent. And I think that that's the name of the game
in terms of wellness is just be consistent with
the things that you're doing because that's
where change happens. And I'm talking even too now in your grieving,
(17:56):
consistently allow yourself to feel
whatever you're feeling. If you like, if you don't feel
good, be consistent about letting
yourself not feel good, letting yourself sit in that if you
aren't feeling as deeply, as
deeply upset or emotional, go with that, too.
(18:19):
Maybe that's because you're, you're in a different cycle right now
emotionally. Let yourself feel that. It's so important
to just be consistent about the
way that you take care of yourself, because that's, that's
how you build a foundation. You don't build it when you're just ad hoc
doing, doing this, doing that. And there's no system
(18:41):
behind what you're, what you're practicing. And, you
know, also give yourself permission to say no. No to things that, like,
do not. That just don't need your energy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. No to activities
that maybe it's something you just don't want to do.
(19:02):
Give yourself. It's okay to say no. It really, it really is.
It is, it is, it is. And it's so. And that goes back to, that
goes back to boundaries, too. That's all I think, rolled into that. And that's something
you and I've talked about this. That's something that I. That's fairly new to me.
That's very, very new to me is the. I'm going to call
it the art of saying no. And it doesn't mean
(19:23):
when you say no to someone, it doesn't mean I
don't love you. It doesn't mean I'm not going to show up for you.
It doesn't mean something else is more important than you.
It just means that you're saying yes to yourself.
And I did not internalize that for, I want
to say, the first 50 years of my life, all I
(19:46):
cared about was being that people pleaser. And let me tell
you, as a little tip for Wellness Month, if you're listening and you're
a people pleaser, that will deplete you
faster than anything else that you will do in your life
because now you're doing everything for somebody else and not for yourself.
(20:08):
So, so, so true. So another
thing that y' all can do. And I, I
practice this. And I don't just practice it during Wellness Month. I practice
it once a week. Turn your phone off,
walk away from your computer, stop watching
TV, even if it's for five
(20:30):
or 10 minutes or an entire day. There will be days that I don't
watch TV at all. I love that. I
remember when our girls were young, their school used to do this thing
where they would have TV free week, which I
absolutely loved. It was the best
week of the year because we were outside,
(20:52):
we were reading books, we were breaking out crayon
boxes and doing all the things that you just
wouldn't do because you know you've got a device in your face or you're sitting
in front of a screen. And amazing what it does
when you focus on what's beyond the
screen. Amazing how cathartic that is
(21:14):
for your whole entire self and what level of
wellness that puts you at. I
just get joy out of, like, not seeing
what's on Facebook or seeing what's on Instagram.
So if I'm not like, looking at my tv, at the screen or my
computer or anything,
(21:36):
I can pay more attention to my wife. I can pay more attention to what's
going on around me. That's not digital.
You know, I grew up in an era where we didn't have cell phones.
We had maybe four channels on the tv. I
spent my. My childhood outside. We. We
had channel four, channel five, channel seven,
(21:58):
38 and 56. And that was it. So we
were outside on the trails behind my house, and
we would be outside until Billy Fallon's mom
rang the cowbell
every. Every night at 5:30. But this is about
(22:19):
maintaining our wellness and
understanding that things like mental and emotional and physical
wellness are all connected and that we have to
do things to support all of them. It's a
go ahead. I can see you're itching to say something. I am. So,
like, also give permission to be a kid again. That's
(22:41):
so good for your mental health. Be a kid again.
Go and play. Let me tell you, when you
revert to your inner child and you don't give a
care about anything else in the world but having fun, go do something
that helps you bring some joy into your life, because joy
can actually help clear your head. Can. You're right.
(23:04):
It absolutely can. And joy
can also help us move through
grief and through loss and through
sadness. And that.
That ability to balance joy
and grief for those who are listening, who are in the thick of it,
(23:27):
who are like, I do not feel joyful. I will never feel joyful again.
All I feel is sadness. We hear you. We see you. We
totally understand. And at the same time,
here's the thing. Grief and joy,
sadness and joy do somehow find their way back
together again. And when you
(23:50):
arrive in that place where you feel like, okay, I'm
ready. I want to smile again. I want to laugh again. I want to do
something silly. I want to be a kid. I want to go off and do
something that makes me happy. That is the
best thing in the world that you can do. For yourself because
you're worthy of that. You deserve that.
(24:12):
And those little sparks of joy can be
game changers in our overall wellness.
So we can't ignore them. Yeah, don't just think of this
month as the only month for wellness. Wellness
is 365 days a year. It is
(24:34):
making sure that you're physically sound and mentally
sound and that you're still trying to
put that, put one foot in front of the other. And
even on my hardest days, I can still find joy in
one thing. And for me, that that has
helped with bring some clarity around some other things that are going
(24:57):
in my life. But I always go back to joy and
gratitude because they go hand in hand. They absolutely
do. And each one of us deserves that
total wellness. Every single one of us does. On our
best days, on our worst days, the messiest days, and all the days
in between, we all deserve it. So
(25:19):
the overarching message here
is try and find those things
that only we know what those things are that
can keep us well. And
once we find them, we have to stick with them because
that's where overall wellness becomes a real thing.
(25:44):
Such a great conversation. Good things to remember. Good things to
remember. Hey, let's do it again next week. All right, See you next week. All
right. Love you G. Love, man. Bye. Thanks
for joining us on the Survivors. Remember, no matter how tough things feel,
you are enough and the world needs you just the way you are. You're
not alone in this journey. There's a community here and every step forward
(26:06):
counts. We're so grateful you took the time to listen and we hope you'll
take one day at a time. Just know there's always more light ahead.
Thanks for being here. Friends, just remember, help is out there
in so many different places. So if you or someone you know is struggling,
please call 988 and a trained crisis counselor like me will be there
(26:26):
to help. You can also find an inclusive and comprehensive directory of
mental health resources, tools and
content@thehelphub.co. just remember that
help is always just a call or a click away. We'll catch you next week.
In the meantime, keep surviving.
The Survivors is brought to you by our friends at the Help Hub. This
podcast mentions suicide, mental illness, grief and loss and may be
triggering for some listeners. So please take care of your mental well being
by pausing or skipping any sections that feel uncomfortable to you. And if
you or someone you know is struggling, please call 988 for support.
(00:22):
Hey. Hey. How you doing? I was using
my sexy voice. I don't know why. Are you drinking from your
cup? Of course I'm drinking from my cup. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers,
Cheers. Oh, wait. Oh, sorry. Can we turn around? Clank, clank.
Yes. Shameless plug. So it's National Wellness Month,
G. It sure is. And guess what? We're not going
(00:44):
to talk as much about today. Suicide.
No. Oh, you got to get your head in the
game right now. No, I was going to say football.
No, we're not. Not talking about spa days and juicing
and. See what I'm saying? Okay, I'm a little slow.
It's all right. This is about sustainable mental,
(01:08):
emotional, physical wellness. That's what we're going to talk about.
Wow. That was. That was funny. That was actually really funny. We're talking about
the kind of wellness that keeps you going when
life feels very heavy. And I feel like. I feel like life
is feeling very heavy for most every single
person who I talk to these days. Same.
(01:30):
Yeah, we won't get into it because we never do, but
politically and lots
of shared trauma that I feel like we
are all watching on television and somehow
internalizing and all the
normal day to day things that everybody worries about as humans
(01:53):
anyway, but just things just feel heavy. So I'm glad
we can talk in terms of National Wellness Month to talk about
what to do about that. Yeah, things are very heavy right now.
Very, very, very heavy. And for me, some of
the practices that I started and that I think will help
other people, not just in
(02:16):
this month, but in every single day of your life.
Start your morning with being grateful.
A gratitude practice is so good
for your health, both physically and
mentally. I want to do an exercise with you and everybody else who's listening.
(02:36):
And I know for a fact that I have not made this comment at all
this season. And I may have made it once last
season, but I. I'm not sure. So when you are in
a state of gratitude and you are
actively thinking about someone or something that you are
grateful for, would you agree
(02:58):
that it's impossible in that moment? Whether it's
10 seconds, 30 seconds, if you can do it for a minute, whatever it is,
you cannot feel Any negativity if you are in a moment of
gratitude? Well, I believe that. I believe
that 100% every morning. For me, my
mornings start with a 20 minute funny video
(03:20):
because I need the laughter to kind of break up the cortisol in
my stomach. But then right after that,
I say what I'm grateful for. And I've been doing that every
day since January 20th, and it's made a huge
difference. Like, I'm grateful for so many things. And
gratitude goes a long way. It does.
(03:43):
It absolutely does. And it's hard
to put something like gratitude alongside something
like grief or struggle.
Because if you're grieving or you're struggling
or you're trying to support someone who is, it's often like wellness
itself can feel really impossible. Feeling gratitude
(04:06):
can feel really impossible to do,
but it's not. It really. It's not
impossible. And the amount that you do it
is entirely up to you. Maybe you've lost someone you love and you can only
muster up like a second or two of flashing to a sweet memory with
that person or listening to them say I love
(04:29):
you, or thinking about something
meaningful that they've said. Like, it works.
And even on your hardest days, like for me,
starting on December 26th, the thing I was grateful for is that
I'm still here fighting. Those are things to be
grateful for. Because, man, life gets hard.
(04:53):
Really hard. It does, which is why
wellness is so foundational. And
obviously, when we're thinking in terms of
National Wellness Month, which August is National Wellness Month,
we think about things like physical health, which
obviously is so very important.
(05:15):
Spiritual health, we think about mental,
emotional health. They are all important.
And it doesn't have to be fancy. The foundation
that we create for ourselves, it can be
exactly like you said, it can be a matter of a few simple
practices that just suit you
(05:39):
in starting your day. I mean, for me, it looks
like getting up out of bed every morning. And the
first thing I do, you've been to my house because you came and visited me
this summer. So you saw where I meditate every
day upstairs on that big square bolster
pillow. And that's how I start my day,
(06:00):
with intention. So that even when I know my days will get
absolutely insane and I'll be on calls and we'll be doing tapings and
I'll be writing whatever it is, I know that I have
those moments of calm that I can kind of refer back to
in my mind for reference and remember what those moments
of calm felt like for a sec, for a second. Even if I can't even
(06:24):
if I can't get anymore. And here, like, here are the things that people don't
even think could be foundational. Every morning, you didn't see me do this
because you weren't awake yet. But every morning I
have my protein powder. It's fruit
punch. It's like a fruit punch with. With protein in it. And I drink my
fluids and I have my collagen in my coffee, and I sit
(06:45):
down with my journal for five or 10 minutes, and
I do a. A meditation. And maybe it's 30 seconds, maybe it's two minutes, you
know, maybe I'm lucky and I get five minutes. Those are the
things that I do. But when you do those things
on the regular every day, that is wellness.
That's wellness. It is. And like other. Other things
(07:09):
you can do for wellness are like, maybe
you're working, but take time out of the day to get
outside for a little bit, turn your screen off on your. On your
phone. Just have a mindful moment to yourself.
Makes so much difference. It does, it does.
And doing all of the things that we've just been
(07:32):
sharing, I mean, these are things that you and I have shared before in
other episodes in different contexts. But
when we're talking about things like grieving
in particular grieving something as heavy and as
impossible as suicide, which this is what
we talk about, this is what you and I focus on most of the time.
(07:54):
That mind, body connection is so
powerful. And our nervous system when
we're grieving, especially when we're grieving that way, is
under constant stress and we don't think about it. It
shows up in our bodies. Our muscles are
tight. We have headaches. Maybe we
(08:17):
are fatigued. You know how you just feel like, I can't get out of bed,
or everything seems heavy and hard. Maybe you can't
sleep. There are things that
even someone who is in the thick of grief
can do to help themselves. They can do breath
work. I never believed in it before. Even just
(08:39):
the 4. It's 4, 7, 8. Have you ever heard of the 4, 7, 8
technique? There's like box breathing. Okay, so you inhale
for four, count four, then you hold it for seven
seconds, and then you exhale it for eight seconds. And
it's super duper simple, but it
grounds you and it regulates you.
(09:01):
And even when we are in our most
stressful moments, something as simple as that
can bring us back down to that plateau where we
want to be. So you know what's funny? But it's
not really funny. So I have. But we're calling it funny. We're going to call
it funny. So I have a VR headset and there is a
(09:23):
mindfulness app on the headset. And it
walks you all through box breathing and relaxation.
For me, I use it at night before I go to sleep
because it does like a little relaxation, like a wave kind of thing.
Or I did another, another one that was like a
kaleidoscope. And then it walks through breathing
(09:46):
exercises. And it really helps me sleep better at night
because it takes all the bad energy out
and I'm focused on that. One thing is just going to sleep.
Yeah. And that's so powerful because we,
we don't often consider
(10:07):
how much our sleep helps us or lack of sleep
hurts us. And when we're
talking about overall wellness, that's a huge pillar.
It's not just about how much we hydrate or how much we move
our body or how well we fuel ourselves. It's also
(10:27):
about how well we shut down and how well
we sleep so that everything can get rebuilt and regenerated and
repaired and. And I know for me,
I mean, you know, we talk about this, you and I offline all the time.
The fact that I sleep like two or three hours a night and it is
not for lack of trying, and I
absolutely know that if I could
(10:50):
somehow find a way to do better
with my sleep, I just feel like that's the missing link for
me with a lot of my own wellness. But
look, I'm trying. What can I tell you? I'm doing everything I can do. Maybe
I need your VR headset. Well, for me, I didn't
think it would be helpful, but after I started using it five
(11:12):
nights in a row, I know I did notice I started sleeping better.
But I also take gummies to help me sleep because I'm tired
of waking up in pain. That's self care. Yeah.
Those are wellness habits. I think that
a big part of creating these kinds of habits
for ourselves is doing it without the pressure. We tend
(11:35):
to think, oh, I have to do all the things. I have to check off
all the boxes. I have to do all the jumping jacks and drink all the
fluids and journal all the pages. And do you know, it's not like that
for some people. Doing an all or nothing works
for the majority of people. I feel like that doesn't really work. That's how people
get burnt out and overwhelmed. So pick a habit. Pick an anchor
(11:56):
habit to work on during
wellness month. Just maybe it's. You and I are
both big journalers Maybe we journal. Maybe you set a timer and you journal for
three minutes. Maybe you're in the shower and you're just practicing
your 4, 7, 8 breathing techniques while you're
already doing something else. You're in the shower getting clean. The
(12:19):
point is that it's not about
creating perfect, inflexible habits.
It's not about that at all. It's just about giving
yourself what you need. To
be able to stay calm when you need to stay calm. To be able to
(12:40):
persevere when you need to forge ahead. It's all. It's all those things. And
that's the essence of National Wellness Month. It's
teaching yourself how to give yourself what you need when you need it. And that
can mean physically or emotionally. When you're grieving, it can mean in
all the different ways. Struggling with your.
Mental health, feeling lost, overwhelmed, or just alone.
(13:04):
Well, you're not. Welcome to the Help Hub, your online destination
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navigate whatever mental health challenges you are facing in the moment.
At the Help Hub, we offer individualized resources tailored to
your unique needs and community. With over 16 different
categories to find exactly the kind of personalized help you need
(13:27):
when you need it most. Because even though we all deal with many of
the same challenges, we don't always experience those challenges the same
way. So whether you're looking for crisis support,
downloadable resources, or an extensive archive of mental
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(13:49):
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Another thing you can do too is if you live in a place where you
(14:11):
can get out in nature, nature will help you with
your mental wellness and just healthy and
breathe some fresh air. Get outside, breathe some fresh
air. Most of us are staring at a computer screen every day.
Get some fresh air. Yeah.
The point is, every single one of us deserves
(14:34):
to take care of ourselves. Not just when
things are good. It's really to be able
to take care of ourselves when things aren't good. That's. That's
the point of building these habits and
practices. It's so that we can be
okay when we're not in a position of being
(14:57):
okay. I
love all these. So another thing that you can do
is to start making those connections again. Reaching out to somebody
once a day, it could be A call, it could be a text.
It could just say hello to somebody as you're walking into the store.
(15:17):
I know a lot of people don't do that anymore. I do. I
like to make people smile and just
saying, hey, how are you doing today? Or hey, good
afternoon or if you go into a store, everybody wears name
tags, say their names. You have no idea how much
that just boots boost the serotonin. Like, oh, somebody said my name
(15:39):
and they're not yelling at me. You know, connection is huge. Not just
during National Wellness Month, but every day,
make some connection. Talk to people.
Yeah. And also too like you're saying talk to people. But I'm also thinking of
it in a different way too. You can't pour from an empty cup
philosophy that I'm thinking of it from, from that perspective too.
(16:01):
Wellness is not indulgent.
It's, it's not, it's protective. We have to be able to
set boundaries. And maybe your
wellness this month is, is about
learning how to set boundaries so that you're taking care of you and
you're saying yes to you and you're
(16:23):
putting your priorities ahead of maybe the other people
whose priorities you're considering most.
Yeah. I think one other thing
you can do too is I do this on Sundays. I do self care,
check ins for texts. I just text people just
(16:46):
to make sure that they're doing okay. If it's somebody I haven't heard from
in a really long time and make a cognizant effort to
check in on people, but check in on them with a question
that they actually have to answer. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It goes
back to the whole extroverted. Like you asked us how we're doing
and we're going to tell you, oh, we're living a dream. In reality we're
(17:09):
probably not right. Exactly. This does not
have to be some revolutionary idea. It just has
to be your own practices that help
you to feel better
in a more general, all around sense.
It's just about learning how to get regulated, learning how
(17:32):
to stay regulated. And
like we already said, it doesn't have to be anything big, it just has to
be consistent. And I think that that's the name of the game
in terms of wellness is just be consistent with
the things that you're doing because that's
where change happens. And I'm talking even too now in your grieving,
(17:56):
consistently allow yourself to feel
whatever you're feeling. If you like, if you don't feel
good, be consistent about letting
yourself not feel good, letting yourself sit in that if you
aren't feeling as deeply, as
deeply upset or emotional, go with that, too.
(18:19):
Maybe that's because you're, you're in a different cycle right now
emotionally. Let yourself feel that. It's so important
to just be consistent about the
way that you take care of yourself, because that's, that's
how you build a foundation. You don't build it when you're just ad hoc
doing, doing this, doing that. And there's no system
(18:41):
behind what you're, what you're practicing. And, you
know, also give yourself permission to say no. No to things that, like,
do not. That just don't need your energy.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. No to activities
that maybe it's something you just don't want to do.
(19:02):
Give yourself. It's okay to say no. It really, it really is.
It is, it is, it is. And it's so. And that goes back to, that
goes back to boundaries, too. That's all I think, rolled into that. And that's something
you and I've talked about this. That's something that I. That's fairly new to me.
That's very, very new to me is the. I'm going to call
it the art of saying no. And it doesn't mean
(19:23):
when you say no to someone, it doesn't mean I
don't love you. It doesn't mean I'm not going to show up for you.
It doesn't mean something else is more important than you.
It just means that you're saying yes to yourself.
And I did not internalize that for, I want
to say, the first 50 years of my life, all I
(19:46):
cared about was being that people pleaser. And let me tell
you, as a little tip for Wellness Month, if you're listening and you're
a people pleaser, that will deplete you
faster than anything else that you will do in your life
because now you're doing everything for somebody else and not for yourself.
(20:08):
So, so, so true. So another
thing that y' all can do. And I, I
practice this. And I don't just practice it during Wellness Month. I practice
it once a week. Turn your phone off,
walk away from your computer, stop watching
TV, even if it's for five
(20:30):
or 10 minutes or an entire day. There will be days that I don't
watch TV at all. I love that. I
remember when our girls were young, their school used to do this thing
where they would have TV free week, which I
absolutely loved. It was the best
week of the year because we were outside,
(20:52):
we were reading books, we were breaking out crayon
boxes and doing all the things that you just
wouldn't do because you know you've got a device in your face or you're sitting
in front of a screen. And amazing what it does
when you focus on what's beyond the
screen. Amazing how cathartic that is
(21:14):
for your whole entire self and what level of
wellness that puts you at. I
just get joy out of, like, not seeing
what's on Facebook or seeing what's on Instagram.
So if I'm not like, looking at my tv, at the screen or my
computer or anything,
(21:36):
I can pay more attention to my wife. I can pay more attention to what's
going on around me. That's not digital.
You know, I grew up in an era where we didn't have cell phones.
We had maybe four channels on the tv. I
spent my. My childhood outside. We. We
had channel four, channel five, channel seven,
(21:58):
38 and 56. And that was it. So we
were outside on the trails behind my house, and
we would be outside until Billy Fallon's mom
rang the cowbell
every. Every night at 5:30. But this is about
(22:19):
maintaining our wellness and
understanding that things like mental and emotional and physical
wellness are all connected and that we have to
do things to support all of them. It's a
go ahead. I can see you're itching to say something. I am. So,
like, also give permission to be a kid again. That's
(22:41):
so good for your mental health. Be a kid again.
Go and play. Let me tell you, when you
revert to your inner child and you don't give a
care about anything else in the world but having fun, go do something
that helps you bring some joy into your life, because joy
can actually help clear your head. Can. You're right.
(23:04):
It absolutely can. And joy
can also help us move through
grief and through loss and through
sadness. And that.
That ability to balance joy
and grief for those who are listening, who are in the thick of it,
(23:27):
who are like, I do not feel joyful. I will never feel joyful again.
All I feel is sadness. We hear you. We see you. We
totally understand. And at the same time,
here's the thing. Grief and joy,
sadness and joy do somehow find their way back
together again. And when you
(23:50):
arrive in that place where you feel like, okay, I'm
ready. I want to smile again. I want to laugh again. I want to do
something silly. I want to be a kid. I want to go off and do
something that makes me happy. That is the
best thing in the world that you can do. For yourself because
you're worthy of that. You deserve that.
(24:12):
And those little sparks of joy can be
game changers in our overall wellness.
So we can't ignore them. Yeah, don't just think of this
month as the only month for wellness. Wellness
is 365 days a year. It is
(24:34):
making sure that you're physically sound and mentally
sound and that you're still trying to
put that, put one foot in front of the other. And
even on my hardest days, I can still find joy in
one thing. And for me, that that has
helped with bring some clarity around some other things that are going
(24:57):
in my life. But I always go back to joy and
gratitude because they go hand in hand. They absolutely
do. And each one of us deserves that
total wellness. Every single one of us does. On our
best days, on our worst days, the messiest days, and all the days
in between, we all deserve it. So
(25:19):
the overarching message here
is try and find those things
that only we know what those things are that
can keep us well. And
once we find them, we have to stick with them because
that's where overall wellness becomes a real thing.
(25:44):
Such a great conversation. Good things to remember. Good things to
remember. Hey, let's do it again next week. All right, See you next week. All
right. Love you G. Love, man. Bye. Thanks
for joining us on the Survivors. Remember, no matter how tough things feel,
you are enough and the world needs you just the way you are. You're
not alone in this journey. There's a community here and every step forward
(26:06):
counts. We're so grateful you took the time to listen and we hope you'll
take one day at a time. Just know there's always more light ahead.
Thanks for being here. Friends, just remember, help is out there
in so many different places. So if you or someone you know is struggling,
please call 988 and a trained crisis counselor like me will be there
(26:26):
to help. You can also find an inclusive and comprehensive directory of
mental health resources, tools and
content@thehelphub.co. just remember that
help is always just a call or a click away. We'll catch you next week.
In the meantime, keep surviving.
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