September 5, 2024 • 52 mins
Welcome to another episode of "The Two Charlotte's Spill the Tea"! This week, we dive into the whirlwind experience of the back-to-school season. It's been a crazy week for us, and we're sure many of you can relate to the hectic and expensive time of year when kids return to school.
In this episode, we discuss the financial pressures of back-to-school costs, from uniforms to school supplies, and how we manage to juggle all the expenses. We also share our personal stories and struggles with getting back into a routine after the summer holidays. The conversation touches on the emotional challenges both parents and children face during this transitional period.
Additionally, we explore the importance of maintaining communication with your kids as they navigate new school environments. We provide ten insightful questions you can ask your children to foster meaningful conversations and better understand their daily experiences.
Join us as we share tips, anecdotes, and a bit of humor to help you survive the back-to-school chaos. Don't forget to leave a review, comment, and follow us on Facebook and TikTok for more updates!
Ten Questions to Ask Your Children!
1, What was the best part of your day?
2, Did anything surprise you today?
3, Who were you proud of today?
4, When did you feel proud of yourself today?
5, What’s one thing that would have made today even better?
6, What was the most interesting thing you learned?
7, What did you play during recess?
8, Who were you kind to today?
9, What’s something new you’d like to try at school?
10, What’s a mistake you learned from today?
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Hi guys welcome to a another episode
of the two shallots filled with tea we are
really excited to be here tonight talking to you
about our our next episode and
i just want to say as well i know it's only been a week since we were last on
air but what a long week it's been it's been an absolutely crazy week for the
(00:24):
two of us and i don't really know what i've been doing but it's It's just been one of those weeks,
like I feel like it's taken a whole year to go by.
But it is that time of year. It is the time of year when the kids are all going
back to school, starting new schools.
And you know how crazy and hectic they are. And that is what we want to talk
to you guys about tonight.
(00:45):
I know that there's going to be a lot of you that will relate to this as well.
Not only is it the summer holidays, which is a crazy expensive time of year,
but then you have the back to school costs.
They're crazy expensive. So you're juggling bills, left, right and center.
You're having to remember lunch boxes. If you have to make lunch boxes, get all that stuff done.
(01:05):
You're having to make sure you've got your school uniform, the bags,
the pens, the pencils, everything that they need.
And you're having to get yourself a routine back into your life again,
because let's face it, the summer holidays is crazy.
Crazy and yeah it's just it's it's so
topsy-turvy and I just.
Feel like this week has been the longest
(01:27):
week the longest week of my life honestly but
I crave the routine I'm I love the
holidays but I miss the routine
so much like I know I'm not alone on this no
do you know I'm exactly the same like I love not
having the school routine not having to do pick up and
drop off and lunchbox and homework and make
(01:49):
sure you've got uniforms that are washed and dried and
ready and have you got everything in their school bag
and this and the other like I love not having
the stress of that every single day but man
I'm kidding it's killing me for routine I'm like
trying to have the routine getting up
and you know going out and knowing exactly where I'm
(02:11):
going to be at what time on what day and not having to
just like mess around with anything it just
be you know you know that's what you're doing Monday to
Friday like and I love having you
know Darcy not at preschool and obviously Grace has
not been at school for what feels like forever because
she finished her GCSEs on the 14th of
(02:34):
June so that was the last day she was at school all and she starts college tomorrow
which I'm like unwell I'm just not okay about that so not okay about her starting
college but yeah it feels like she's been at home for literally forever.
So it's going to be nice to get real routine and structure and,
(02:58):
you know, just knowing what I'm supposed to do,
because I'm sure I'm not the only one that's brain just completely falls out
my ears when I don't have routine.
Routine oh stop yeah mine does like at the beginning of the holidays and every
holiday this is the exact same
thing happens for me at the beginning beginning of the holidays I'm like,
(03:19):
ah freedom we can get up when we like we can do what we like and by the end
of the holidays like no one's getting up in this house till like 10 o'clock
in the morning and like the kids are just.
Lazy like they don't want to come out their rooms they're all doing their
own thing I don't know what's going on what day it
is like is it the weekend is it the week I
(03:40):
have zero idea I lose track of like
you know appointments and this
that and the other because I lose track of what day it is I don't know what's
going on I know I feel so lost and I know that people are always talking about
our kids thrive off routine I'm like forget about the kids mums thrive off routine
yeah as much as I feel like my whole life is taken up with with,
(04:04):
like you say, with school, school runs,
like you can't go anywhere in a day because you're out in the morning doing
a school run and then halfway through your day, you're doing a school run.
And as soon as you come back, it's the homework, the dinner time routine,
the homework routine, the bedtime routine, the checking uniform,
everything is organized for tomorrow. Make sure the lunches are packed for tomorrow.
(04:25):
Make sure the school bag is packed for tomorrow. tomorrow and
you know it's just it just it takes up so
much of the day that you
don't really have any time to do anything else really but at the
same time like I'm so organized when
the kids are at school I'm so much more together like
I have my wits about me so much more I have a good sleep
(04:47):
routine you know I'm I'm so good
at my routine even things like my walking my exercise size
and my eating improve massively like when
the kids are at school so you know in an entirely selfish
kind of mind state I love the back
to school time for that but yeah it's still
a novelty every time the holidays happen when I'm like oh my god we can just
(05:09):
get up and go to the beach yeah literally that's the thing isn't it like you're
counting down for the holidays like because Because I remember like the last
couple of weeks before Grace and Darcy broke up for the summer,
I was like, oh, my God, I'm so ready to not make another packed lunch and to
(05:29):
not have to find uniform and matching socks.
And I'm so ready for that. And now I'm like, I'm so ready for the routine.
Give me all the odd socks. I'll pair them up myself. It's fine.
Let me find them. but the thing is as much as the routine is great I know that,
this time of year is crazy stressful for parents
(05:52):
when it comes kids going back to
school because you know for so like so
many so many different reasons because it's
you know I think the biggest one is like financially it's
a really expensive time of year and especially
if you have you know know kids starting a
new school where you know they have
(06:14):
a whole new list of stuff they need
and you know I had because I had the big
expense for me was last September
when Grace went into her final GCSE year because that's making sure she has
everything she needs for her exam season and all of the you know special scientific
(06:36):
calculators and all this kind
of stuff and it's It is actually like it's really rough when you're like,
oh, my God, I have to all of a sudden find like an extra couple of hundred quid for uniforms and bags.
And that's only if you have one child, like if you have more than one child
in school, it is something you have to plan for like the whole year.
(06:59):
Yeah, yeah, it really is. And like the same with us this year,
Max started secondary school.
And although this was the first year that the over here you have junior cycle
and senior cycle so the junior cycle is say seventh year to ninth year and then
they do their their junior set which is not quite a GCSE.
(07:23):
But not a SAT either so it's kind of somewhere between the
two and then they go into their senior cycle where you
have like transition year fifth year and then sixth year
where you do your leaving cert which is more like an a level than a GCSE yeah
so they're like 18 when they do their leaving cert 17 18 and so it's a slightly
(07:45):
different like to how it is in the UK but Well, it's been really expensive.
Like this year was the first year that junior cycle books were free.
Before that, like we've always paid for school books.
Primary school was free then for their school books for the last couple of years.
But up until Max was about eight or nine, we had to pay for all his school books at primary school.
(08:08):
So this was the first year that junior cycle students didn't have to pay for
their books, which was great.
So we got all his school books and study books
and copy books and stationery everything was given
to us so even like colored coloring in pencils
you know rubbers math sets calculators scientific
calculators everything like that was given to us
(08:28):
but amazing we had to we
still had to just get like a pencil case and pens and highlighters you
know like biros and stuff but that's that didn't
cost very much but we had to buy a laptop and
it had to be brought through the school because it
had to have a specific software installed onto
it that school had to install onto it that works with their google
(08:50):
classrooms and stuff because now they're doing like
integrated learnings you know technology is
such a huge thing now they're bringing it into the classroom so
all students will have their own laptop so we
had to buy him this this special laptop this chromebook that
had the software installed on it so that was 550 euros
altogether for that and then
(09:12):
obviously we have to have it insured so that is a monthly payment
now on top of that as well then the school fees were 100 euros that we had to
pay before he started covered like his homework diary and whatever the school
fees cover and then we had to get his insurance on top of that for the year
for the school, which was like an extra 13 euros.
(09:33):
Then we had to buy his school uniform and each item of Max's school uniform
was around about 40 euros on average.
So you're talking 40 euros for one pair of school trousers.
His school shirt was like 26 euros. His jumper was like 47 euros,
something like that. His tie was a tenner.
His shoes were like 50 euros. So that's one.
(09:57):
Trousers one shirt one jumper so he can't
just have one so he has to have two of all of them and then the same
for his p kit his trousers were like 40 euros
his p t-shirt was like 42 euros and
his p long sleeve top was like 42 or
43 euros then he had to have like you know
like a body warmer jacket thing that is
(10:20):
47 euros so then
you know two of all of those as well and then his p
shoes he's a size 10 shoe so that's
man shoes yeah he's used just
like nike black nike trainers
but obviously they're men's shoes so you're talking like 80
to 100 quid for his trainers as well so his
(10:41):
go back to school costs even though we got the books for
free were still astronomical yeah absolutely yeah
and then you know
and and also as i said it is the
end of the summer holidays well we know how expensive the summer
holidays are with days out and things like that and we
had one day out with the kids to a theme park and it
(11:02):
cost us over 300 euros just to go up to
the theme park for the day it's like a day out at thought park or chessington
or somewhere like you know like really expensive and then also what i was thinking
just now when you're talking is it's actually it's september there's only three
months till christmas i know don't i like.
(11:24):
I have to now obviously I've
done the back to school but I'm booking Darcy's birthday because she's born
she has a birthday in December yeah yeah yeah and we have Scotty's birthday
on the 23rd of December Max's birthday on the 17th of January yeah yeah Darcy's the 22nd of December
(11:45):
so we're now like planning her birthday and I'm like luckily you know and this is where I
am very lucky in the sense that Grace got herself a job over the summer so she
has bought a lot of the stuff she wants to take to college is stuff that she's
(12:05):
bought for herself because she got herself a job over the summer.
So that kind of stuff, I'm actually quite, you know, lucky, but I still have
to obviously get all this stuff for Darcy.
And now I'm like, and I've got a birthday in a couple of months and I've still got like.
I think four or five family birthdays between now
(12:25):
and Christmas and I'm oh my lord like
you just like you're instantly saving up again for the
the last half of the year which is just going to be you know it's going to be
astronomical Christmas is just crazy I know and then you know you've got a birthday
we've got a birthday two birthdays either side of it and it's just oh so yeah
the expense side of it is absolutely crazy and then of course like we were talking about this just now Now,
(12:51):
we're lucky because our kids like what they like and they're not that fussed.
But some kids, they want to keep up with everyone else. It's got to be designed.
It's got to be a certain thing. You know, some kids are just more into that
sort of thing than others.
And some just want to look cool or they think that they need a certain thing.
You know what kids are like.
And being a tween or a teen is a horrible time anyway, because you're just desperate
(13:15):
to fit in with everyone else. Exactly.
And it's so much pressure then and then
of course for a parent then you're dealing with
that whole like going back into another year what if your child
is nervous apprehensive starting a new
school the change you know all of these things so you're also worried about
(13:35):
how is my child going to cope you know are they going to handle it all right
is it going to be okay is it are they going to have friends still are they going
to make new friends and I'm sure your child is probably worrying the same thing as well.
Exactly it's you know it's financially hard on
us but it's also really emotionally and like
mentally hard on parents going back to school especially when
(13:58):
you're in the stage that both of us
are in actually with you know our kids are going into different schools
you know it's like a transition year yeah exactly
like grace is going to college which yeah like
i said i'm just so not okay about like i don't even i
can't believe i have it's like she's just probably going into of
the world yeah but she's going into college
(14:19):
in a town that she's only actually lived in full time
for two years so you know
she doesn't know anybody one of her friends from
her previous school is coming to the same college but
they're not on the same course so you know they'll
be in different classes they'll see each other because they'll be
coming to college and they'll be around the kind of campus together
(14:41):
but they're not going to be in the same classes so
then it's like you know you know I really hope
that she makes friends and you know I'm
sure that she will and you know I'm positive and confident
that you know she'll get on really well but there's always that bit of kind
of you know I just hope that she really does get on and really enjoys it because
(15:02):
I'd hate to think that she's unhappy and not you know not making friends and
not enjoying going to college because.
You know she is going to be having the best
time of her life and yeah exactly and so
it's such a and it's like another it's
that next milestone like that next step you know moving into the next school
(15:27):
up or college or university or even leaving university like being a parent of
a child that's left university now and going into the like the actual world
is really scary because it's.
You know when they're babies like when your kids are
babies the milestones come really quite rapidly
you know like we took the
(15:50):
bars off Darcy's bed at the weekend and I'm
so not okay with the fact that she now doesn't have
a car anymore because that baby phase is
completely gone now but they happen so quickly when
they're younger and then you get these huge gaps as they they
get older and I'm like you know Grace starting college
is so huge I'm like how have I got a
(16:11):
16 year old that's got a job
and going to college like how how is
that even happening like I feel
like I'm still 16 like how have I got yeah it's
mad it's crazy really
isn't it and it's so much change and then like obviously
if your child is stressing out about what they're
(16:34):
going then you've got like that that kind of
bit of friction and attitude with them as
well and it's all just there's so many different things
to think about and stress about and and as parents we're often just expected
to know what to do say feel think and you know we have to be this like rock
(16:55):
of strength for our kids but at the same time like a lot of us are just going
through this for the the first time ourselves.
And, you know, we're still, every day we're learning and it's a new experience for us being.
Obviously we've done the experience of being in the
school and going through these steps ourselves but it's
a really different experience when you're the parent
(17:17):
looking at your child and you just you desperately want
your child to just have the best time
and obviously you don't want to see them hurt you don't want to see
them falling out with their friends you don't want to see them feeling lonely
or bored or upset or stressed or anything like
that but at the same time it's this for us
anyway like for you with with grace going into college for
(17:39):
me with max going into secondary school it's that time in
their life when they are gonna start experiencing more
ups and downs of life and it's that
time when you have to step back a little bit
and let them make their mistakes let them
have their fallouts let them experience their
(17:59):
downs as well as their and just be there to
support them and let them you know deal with all
those things because it's part of them growing up and
they need to they can't have you hovering around
them their entire life being there ready to swoop in
and you know deal with their friends that they've fallen out with for them or
talk to the teacher on their behalf if they forget their homework and smooth
(18:22):
everything over like they have to start learning consequences of actions or
they'll never learn when they're adults so you have to find that that place
where you you know you you kind of.
It's that step away from being in like the baby schools
and what have you and learning to like stand on their own two feet a bit before
they're going off into adulthood you have to let them like I said you have to
(18:44):
learn to let them make their own mistakes and you know do all these things and
that's that's hard for for a parent watch their child going through these things and And,
you know, letting them do it their way, letting them make their own mistakes.
Because I often as well, like I could tell Max something till I'm blue in the
(19:04):
face. But if he thinks he knows best.
Well, this is it. And, you know, one thing and this is something that I'm like
I have to kind of remind myself is we've all been kids like we've all been teenagers.
Teenagers and as an adult you can look into a teenage life and be like oh my god that is so,
(19:27):
minute in the grand scheme of things yeah
and I have to keep reminding myself that
it isn't in their world and I
actually saw a post on
Facebook and the person who posted it's now name absolutely
escapes me but it was a post that basically said be the adult you needed as
(19:51):
a child yeah and now I'm like my mind is blown but it's so hard to do that like
you want to kind of instill the.
The the right mindset especially when it comes to
like fallouts with friends I'm the worst if Grace
falls out with one of her friends so help me god I
am literally sat here like give me that phone I'm
(20:14):
like I'm not having this okay
like my rage on her behalf yeah because
I'm like she stopped telling me about things because
of the rage that I would get and she was just like I'm not
telling my mum that I've fallen out with this person or that person
because she'll just get super angry about it and
I'm like so I want to like instill the way
(20:37):
I would feel about that situation as an adult
when you fall out with friends when you're an adult it's very much a
case of you can just be like okay fine I don't need that kind
of thing in my life I'm happy to close that that chapter when
you're a kid it's like the world's gonna swallow you
up if you're oh my god yeah so but I
have to try and like be like there to be supportive
(20:58):
and give advice without being like
just get over it it's not the issue which I
do find myself saying all the time and I
yeah I'm trying very hard not to be that parent anymore
yeah like I'm good at the tough love but I
need to be a bit softer I think and for
(21:18):
me it's they're like I
have to remember what I was like as a teenager which is
I honestly thought my parents knew nothing like.
I literally I was like they have no idea they don't understand
anything but as an adult now I can.
See that yeah I do understand like I've been through
a lot I understand a lot more than you
(21:39):
do and you know I know and that's why I'm
telling you you need to do xyz but I
need to also understand that that
Max is just he's just the same as me
really and that he thinks he knows best he thinks
that yeah he'll listen to what I say and he'll be like yeah
all right mum and then he'll do it his own way anyway and I have to accept that
(22:02):
and I have to just like you say be there to support him once he's done it his
way and however that pans out just because you know I I can see the bigger picture
doesn't mean that he can and he has to make the same mistakes like they have to
you have to let them make mistakes or they won't learn
but it's so hard isn't it because you don't like
I don't want Grace to make the same mistakes
(22:24):
I made like I want Darcy to go down
the same path that I did so I think you
like overcompensate yeah the parent
to like push them so far in the opposite direction that there's no possibility
that they're going to accidentally fall down the same rabbit hole you did yeah
like but I think as long as we're there to support them they won't fall down
(22:48):
like for me I fell down a rabbit hole because I had no one there to support yeah.
That's it like you know that's the
thing like yeah we fell into those you know
bad habits and self-destructive things
because there wasn't there wasn't somebody
around to be like it's really
got the pieces when it all went to shit basically yeah exactly yeah exactly
(23:13):
like which they'll never they'll never experience that no definitely not definitely
not but yeah going Going back to school and starting that new phase is so tricky for everyone involved.
And like, even when your kids start in primary school, like I remember taking
Max there and the teachers having to peel him off me.
(23:34):
You know, when he first started, when he was in like junior infants,
they'd be peeling him off me.
He'd be crying and like, no, don't leave. And the teacher would be like, just go, just go.
And you'd have to walk away, leave. And you're like, oh, my God.
And then you spend the whole day at home like he
was crying his eyes out about the poor thing like him
and then when you go to pick him up he's like oh I had a really good day yeah
(23:55):
and you're like yeah and that would happen every day for like maybe six months
well you remember what Darcy was like when she first started preschool yeah
the year like I was having to go and pick her up two hours after I dropped her
off because she was inconsolable yeah and that took,
you know well all the way from when she
(24:17):
started after easter all the way
until like a couple of weeks before the summer
holidays yeah and took a really long time
didn't know she was really struggling with it
and i just felt like the worst mother on the
planet like even to the point where i did
genuinely consider pulling her out and trying again in september to just because
(24:39):
she's too young obviously she's not ready for it but she seems to be okay about
the prospect of going back but that's also a thing that I'm now like in the
back of my mind I'm dreading going back because I'm like.
God, what if it's like it was, you know, back at the beginning of the year where,
again, she was screaming and crying and she was so upset and she didn't want me to leave.
(25:05):
And the mum guilt was just in, like, hypers. It eats you alive.
Oh, God. Honestly. And I would just lie there in bed at night being like,
I can't take her tomorrow.
Like, I can't face that. You know, drive to work and cry every single day.
I'd be sat at work thinking god i
hope she's okay and then i'd be calling into the nursery and
(25:26):
they're like well you know she is still a bit upset like we'll see how
she goes and i'm like oh god this is just awful too
much yeah and then just before this it's every
state like it is it's every stage like there's
something like when they're that young they just don't want to be apart
from their moms and i think it do you know i think
it happens to some because max was the saying like he was
(25:47):
disraught going into school it was just heartbreaking then
obviously then when like now he's starting secondary school
the first couple of days he was like ah I don't really
know I mean it's not like I thought it would be and
I'm like no like he's not that that bothered but
he's like oh it's not like I thought it would be and but he
after cryptocurrency they're doing like through
(26:09):
in the three terms so he's got like this time
he's got engineering business studies and graphics nice like
he's really looking forward to like art and home
economics yeah so he's a bit miffed that he hasn't got that but after Christmas
it would change so I think that's probably something that that upset him a little
bit was that he didn't get to do the ones he really wanted and then in April
(26:32):
then they pick their subjects yeah so they like what we did in England in year.
Nine when I was in year nine I picked my
subjects then to do my exam yeah for your yeah oh
I like that yeah so then he'll
just be doing the three that he picks like until the end
of school so he'll pick the ones he wants so I think he'll enjoy that a little
(26:55):
bit more after Christmas but like he's still settling in now and he's making
friends you know and he's getting into the routine of it and and he's fine but
I have worried sick about him every day like Like, is he fine?
Is he with friends? Is he sitting on his own? Do you know? Like, how is he getting on?
And I'm sure, like, probably you'll be the same then with Grace tomorrow.
(27:16):
How is she settling in? How is she getting on? Has she made some new friends? Hmm.
I know that I'm going to be like, you know, I'm, I'm dropping Darcy off earlier
tomorrow morning so that Grace and I can go and have like a bit of breakfast
and coffee and stuff together before she goes to college.
Cause I want to take her in and be around, but I know that I'm going to be like
(27:38):
waiting by my phone for her to go on her lunch break so that she can tell me how it's been.
And luckily she can do that. Like, because she's at
the age actually where she will have her phone and she can you
know phone me and tell me how she's getting
on and how she's settling in and this kind of stuff but
it's such a it's such a hard
(28:00):
time it's so hard for the kids but it's I think it's you
know equally as hard for the parents isn't it oh me too yeah
it's like I said it's just like we've never done this before and
you know what even if you have done it before with another kid every child
is different so you're still going to worry just as much for every child
it's still a new experience for each child that you
have and it's still you know it's
(28:21):
still something that we're just experiencing this side
of the whole back to school thing for the first time and it's like wow it's
so stressful this is it this is it but one thing I did want to touch on obviously
the pressures of going back to school you know emotionally and stuff and I know
We have obviously touched on the financial side,
(28:42):
but I think a lot of people worry about, like you were saying,
about do we have the right clothes and bags and shoes and this kind of stuff.
If you can't afford to get those kind of things, you then feel really guilty.
If you have to go and get you know
school shoes from Tesco's or from
(29:05):
a charity shop and one thing I wanted to
touch on was the internet makes it so
hard for parents I've seen two things over the last few weeks on the lead up
to going back to school one of them which I'm hoping thankfully is more of an
American trend than over here is these back to school boxes which is like
(29:28):
it's this like the whole Christmas Eve box and all this kind of stuff where
you're buying your kids like really expensive, like gadgets and clothes and bags and shoes.
Like I saw one woman put a box together for her daughter who can't have been
any older than like 10 or 11.
(29:48):
And it had, you know, designer handbags and shoes and a phone.
And I'm like, like are you actually for real like you think people are struggling
enough and now there's this trend of back to school boxes to spend even more
money and if they're not full of all the same amazing things that all their
friends have got then you then have the mum guilt there.
(30:12):
Yeah it's really hard because I'm not saying if
you have the money I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to treat
your kids like if you've worked really hard and you've you know
you've earned this money and you're not worrying about money then
I'm not saying don't treat your kids because other
parents can't like it's your prerogative right
do whatever you want but I just think with internet trends like that it's it
(30:35):
makes it that bit harder and makes other parents that can't do that feel worse
the thing is it sets like a level then see kids aren't the same as adults like we can go okay okay,
yeah, you can afford that because you've worked hard for it. That's great, you know.
Well done to you and that person that's got
the money can be like you know they don't look down on
(30:57):
anyone else or maybe they do because they're an asshole but most
people as an adult you can deal with that but as a child you
go into school and little Susie's got all this
amazing stuff before school and then they're like so what did you get
and everyone looks at you and you've got nothing and you
go quiet and then everyone laughs at you because Charlotte didn't
get anything think yeah you know and because kids
(31:20):
are cruel kids are actually kids are
so cruel and they they just i mean they don't think you know because and that's
where the it's the parents duty to install these beliefs and these views into
their children and one thing that i think you really need to install in children
is that nothing in this world comes for free yeah for sure and you don't just.
(31:43):
Get given boxes of stuff on a plate and you have to work for
stuff so in this house our kids have chores they have jobs
to do they have to work to get their pocket money if they don't do their jobs
they don't get their money it's that simple because you know we we are a low-income
household and we do struggle for things and me and mike work hard to save money
and keep to strict budget each week so that the kids can have nice things you
(32:06):
know for christmas and for
birthdays but the the rest of the year we do
again we always try and get them nice things but we don't
spoil them and we try to let them understand the value of things and it does
never hurt a child for you to say no you can't have that I agree no you can't
have that look if you really want that then you can do some jobs for me and
you can earn the money to buy it yourself that actually helps them understand
(32:29):
the value of things and it actually goes a lot further.
In life for them to learn those things I think personally
than to just hand stuff to them because once
kids can understand the value of things they maybe don't
be quite so cruel about people that don't have those things as
well yeah no I agree and you
know obviously Grace got a job in the summer so
(32:50):
her pocket money has stopped now because she has
a job she has her own money you know it would
be a case of if she hadn't done her jobs she would get
docked pocket money at the the end of the month when it would come over and but
now she's got a job if she doesn't go into work she doesn't get how
many sorry to learn that same yeah she
was learning you know if you don't if you don't work
(33:10):
you don't get paid so she has a job
if she doesn't go to work she doesn't get paid or god
bless her she had a week's holiday obviously when
we went to the isle of wight so it meant that she had to do like two weeks
worth of work in one week beforehand because she hadn't
actually accrued any holiday yet so yeah hey
she had to work two weeks worth of hours the week before those are the things
(33:34):
like but she's learning you know you need to work for your money and I think
well and good buying these like you know fancy back to school boxes and stuff for your kids but.
Are you treating them or
are you rewarding like is it a reward is it
a treat given is there like do
(33:56):
you know are you also teaching them that
not all kids are gonna be in this situation like
not every kid you go to school with and I had
that the problem majorly when I was at school because
I went to private school and there was a
lot of very very like we
weren't like in any way struggling we were
(34:18):
quite well off when I was younger but there was
a lot of very wealthy people that I went to school with so there
was a lot of this that I'd
see them having you know designer this.
And designer that and anything and everything that they possibly could
want and there's a bit of like the jealousy there but
they were also arseholes so they were all
(34:40):
very much it's like oh you don't have a designer handbag
yeah well poor you yeah
okay you know like sure
so I'm lucky in the same sense that you are that Grace is
very much not like that she's quite happy to buy things
from Primark if it's comfortable and it
fits her and she feels good in it then you know
(35:02):
she's she's quite happy with it yeah yeah and
like me and I suppose me and my friends you
won't hear us bragging about how expensive something was you
would hear us bragging about like this was a pound
yeah literally i love it
i absolutely love it right when i'm wearing some bargain hunters yeah and if
(35:25):
someone says oh i love that top you're wearing i love to be able to be like
oh my god i got it for like a couple of quid in a charity shop yeah like i love to say these.
Things I really love that like yeah me too me too,
like we need to make that cool we need to make thrifting cool that's it and
(35:46):
that was the that was the other thing that i've seen online is i follow this
i think yeah she's a mum but she does a lot of thrifting charity shop like buying
like upcycling blah blah blah she did a comparison.
Like video on tiktok just between what
it would be to cost to buy all kids school uniform new
(36:09):
and what it actually cost when she went to a charity shop
the hate that this poor woman
got for buying kids clothes in a charity shop bearing
in mind these are primary school children so we
know that they get things dirty scuffed they
tear the knees in the trousers all the time the polo
shirts end up covered in paint and food and and
(36:31):
they grow out of it so quickly and they grow like
so quick yeah this woman honestly
she got so much hate on this video from other
mums being like I would
never buy my kids stuff from a charity shop I would rather you know not spend
the money on me and spend the money on them and I'm like how can you say this
(36:54):
to another mum like that's so unfair yeah it's ridiculous if you can save money
I'm all for that like saving a bit of money.
I said it to you earlier, even with Max's old school uniform,
like I put it up on the free cycle page and gave it to whoever was first that
needed it, you know, for free.
(37:15):
Yeah, that's it. Like, it just made me so sad reading all these comments on
this poor woman's video because she does a whole, her whole page is all about ways to save money,
different charity She shops to go to upcycling stuff and this,
that, and the other, like it's all about saving money and she's got kids.
(37:35):
And it just was so sad to see her so much hate over, uh.
Buying clothes that is sad to be honest like over trying to
help people save some money and I just thought there
when you were saying that another thing that I really think schools need
to do is stop putting crests on things oh for
god's sake yeah because which school uniform should
(37:58):
be generic if they want to do crests it should be you know like a little
iron-on transfer that you can buy for like a pound literally
you know or it'd be something the school just
does if you want to have a crest on it then you
do that like yeah why charge us an
absolute fortune for your own uniform if it's private it's different like if
(38:19):
you're paying for school I think that's a bit different like private schools
in its own kind of little thing but state schools I think definitely yeah so
on the subject of school school crests is obviously.
Such an issue because it just means that you can't just
go and buy a generic uniform so again it's just more of
(38:40):
some money racket but I was also looking
at you know obviously when your kids start school you
want to find out about their day and I don't know about you but when Max was
in primary school I would ask him like how was your day what your friend's name
is he'd be like it was okay I don't remember don't remember my friend's names
(39:00):
I don't know did some reading and that's pretty much all I would get out of him, right?
So I never really know, like, is he making friends?
He doesn't remember his friends' names. Like, I don't know if that's an autism
thing or if it's a Max thing or if it's a kid thing,
but, like, it was really, really hard to get any information out of him,
(39:22):
and I know that I'm not alone with that.
No, I know a lot of names who feel the same way.
So, yeah, so I have got 10 different questions that you can ask your child,
which is hopefully going to open the door for a more meaningful conversation with them.
Because something I love about the holidays is you just you can like we like
(39:45):
to play a lot of board games and stuff like that.
And I end up having a really good laugh and a good giggle with Max and we talk loads.
And then it feels like he goes back to school and we kind of lose that a little bit.
It so just to help like create you know
more conversations to make sure that when you're asking them
about their day it doesn't sound like you're grilling them and interrogating them
because that can be a bit invasive maybe and
(40:08):
make them feel like a bit standoffish you know if there's
too many questions also you
don't want to you know like what we were saying you need to
like resist the urge to be telling your child what
they should say or do if they have a problem you know
and let them come to terms with that themselves and just
to let them know that if they do make mistakes or mess up
(40:29):
they don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed about it it's just a
natural part of life and it's something that they all have to
learn as they go through their school years so yeah
I got these 10 questions so if you are listening
you may want to get you may want to pause grab yourself a notepad and a pen
and write these down because I think these are really cool questions that kind
(40:50):
of shift the focus from the usual like the usual kind of monologue that you
have with your kids so question number one is what was the best part of your day today.
And I really like this question because it shifts their focus from you know
their usual routine and encourages them to share their favorite part of the
day yeah that's you know that's that's really good because it means that you
(41:12):
get an insight into what they enjoy the most in their school day as well,
which is, you know, going to change a lot as they go through school.
It's really insightful. And talking about the positive aspects of school is
going to really help them see that there's something positive happening every day.
So, you know, it takes away from the negative side of school,
(41:33):
like boring work, you know, and it focuses on something much more exciting,
even if that's lunchtime or break time, you know, playing with their friends or whatever.
Ever so it's really cool question number two is did
anything surprise you today and surprises
can range from you know unexpected science experiments
or getting picked for a sports team
(41:56):
and it again gets them to think about
things that happened through the day and share those
details with you that you might not have heard about otherwise it can be like
getting blood out of a stone getting getting your kid to tell you about the
day if you just asked them how was your day that like it's such a an open-ended
question I don't I just think sometimes it's too much for kids to be able to deal with.
(42:20):
Asking your child if they were proud of anyone in their class today.
And this question is really good, I think, because it helps your child to focus on like social skills.
It makes them think of their friends and makes them think, hmm,
what did my friends do today?
Was I actually proud of any of my friends? Did any of my friends do something really good today?
So it gets them to think about someone else and to give praise to someone else,
(42:44):
which is really, really good to help them understand that, you know,
it's good to cheer other people on and to back up everyone instead of seeing people as competition.
Because I think quite often with kids, they're so up on wanting to do,
oh, I want to be the best at that.
I want it to be the best of that, that they forget that it's actually okay to
look at other people and go, well done, you did really well.
(43:06):
And then you can ask them as well, you know, and another question is,
did you do anything that made you feel proud of yourself today
and this again can be you know
anything so it's also good for them
to know that it's fine to celebrate their own achievements and
they should be proud of themselves for that whether that's learning
to write in cursive or I don't
(43:29):
know if they're very young it could
be managing to go to the toilet and
get themselves dressed properly afterwards you know it could be something
really simple and it doesn't matter how minor it
is for that child like taking a moment to
acknowledge the time that they were brave maybe
or maybe they helped one of their friends maybe one
(43:49):
of their friends was sad and they talked to one of their friends and cheered them
up it's really good to just boost their confidence and reinforce their good
behavior so asking them a question like that is is a really good way as well
to see it's about seeing the world through your child's eyes which can really
help both of you to settle in more to the new school routine year or class.
(44:12):
You could ask them as well, what's one thing that could have happened today
that would have made it even better?
So this is really good because it helps your child to talk about something that
might have frustrated them, upset them or challenged them.
And again, it gives you insight into where they might need support in school.
And it can also help them to think about problem solving skills by identifying.
(44:35):
You know, actually that went wrong, but how could it have been better?
So it might help them then in the future as well have
a better idea of how to you know make their own problems better
question number six which is
a question that i really like asking max which is what's the most
interesting thing you learned today oh yeah i like that one
yeah and this this when
(44:57):
i ask max's question i usually get a really really long
answer but encouraging academic academic
curiosity with open-ended questions gives them
a freedom to share what interests them so I
think like I know for me I'm always
like oh well I really liked English at school so I
would kind of push that onto onto max which I
(45:19):
don't mean to do but it's just you know this is what I liked at school
so I'll talk about that but it's good to ask them what
is the most interesting thing they learn because you know
you might not realize your child really interested in history
or science or geography or something so it
helps you learn that and you know once you once you
know what they're passionate about at school it gives you that little bit
(45:41):
of space to kind of foster a bit of a love for their passions
as well and help them and as well number seven then question number seven what
did you play during break yeah i don't know what kind of games they play you
can find out this question could lead to stories about who their friends are
you know what they're doing what kind of games they're playing.
(46:02):
It kind of shows a bit of their social skills. It also shows a bit of their
interests outside of schoolwork.
So it's good for you to know, you know, whether they were playing on their own,
playing sports, talking to friends in a group activity, reading.
I know like with my Max, he had a group of friends and they would all like make comics together.
(46:22):
So they had like a kind of comic book thing that was going on.
Which was cool. But yeah, it's interesting to know like what they're getting
into outside of their lessons as well.
Question number eight is a question that encourages kind of empathy and compassion.
And I really like this question. Obviously, this is right up my street,
(46:44):
but it is, who were you kind to today?
And why? Why were you extra kind to someone?
Because it shows how, you know, it helps your child to consider how their kindness
can impact others and how it makes other people feel.
And it shows you the value of being kind to other people. And this is something
that we value in our family.
(47:04):
Um, so it's obviously something that I want to foster outside of,
you know, our family as well.
And I want my kids to grow up, to be compassionate and kind and,
you know, have that kind of level of respect for other people as well.
Question number nine what's something
that you'd like to try at school so he or
(47:24):
she your child might see other people
doing maybe a lunchtime club or playing
a musical instrument something that they wouldn't have
seen around your house maybe and that's
good for you know getting your child to be
aware that there's other things going on and they might develop an interest
in something think that they wouldn't have otherwise thought about so you're
(47:46):
just putting it into their brain to like look oh what is there something at
school I'd like to try or painting or you know anything like that so that's
good just to open their brains up a little bit to the idea that they can actually.
Try these things because I think a lot of time as well kids see other people doing it,
And because they're not doing it in their class, they don't know that they can do it.
(48:07):
You know, they just, that's what they do in that class, but they don't associate
it with being something that they can actually try.
So it's good to open that up to them as well.
And the last question, which is a really good question.
And I think it's a question that is really important to ask kids because kids
can be very embarrassed and shy about making mistakes.
(48:28):
Mistakes and they feel like it's a reflection on
them being bad or being naughty or doing something
wrong but asking them what's the mistake that
you or what's a mistake that you learned from today helps them
to realize that they can actually learn from their mistakes and
they shouldn't be embarrassed of them and that you know
mistakes can actually be a really good learning opportunity and
(48:50):
a stepping stone to doing something better so it's
also really good for helping your child to learn that they have
to take responsibility and learn from their
mistakes so it's a bit like a consequences of actions
kind of thing and it's a really important lesson for kids to learn I think because
quite often when kids do something wrong they'll deny it because they're embarrassed
(49:12):
or ashamed and they don't want someone to know that they did something wrong
but when you take that like remove the feeling of being ashamed or embarrassed
from it and make it okay to make.
A mistake as long as you've learned from it you know
it's a whole different ball game and I think it's a really important
step for kids to learn so those are 10 questions that
(49:32):
you can ask your kid maybe not all 10 questions at
the same time because it would probably blow their brains wide open but you
could pick a different question each day and ask them something different and
you'll be surprised at how much you'll learn I think from the answers that you
get and they give you that extra bit of insight into your child's life and also
give them a little bit of a.
(49:53):
You know a different way of thinking about things as well yeah no do you know what I absolutely,
absolutely love those I was like I'm thinking yeah I'm
gonna ask Darcy that on Thursday see how she got on
because most of the time when I asked Darcy oh how
was how was you know preschool today she's like it
was good yeah or yeah I don't
(50:14):
remember or I'm like who did you play with she's like I don't
know and I'm like you do know I'm like
you do because you have a memory like an an elephant even though
you are two you know exactly what you did
you're just choosing not to tell me today yeah um
I was like nice I don't remember I don't know
yeah but I absolutely love those and do you know what I think we should do is
(50:36):
write those into the notes on this podcast so that people could copy and paste
it or screenshot it or you know keep hold of it because yeah I I think they're
actually really good questions.
If you ask a different one every day, it's definitely going to give you a good
insight into what's going on.
And, you know, also gives you talking points with your kids because,
(50:59):
you know, yeah, when you're not around them all the time, you do kind of lose
that communication. You do, don't you?
Yeah. So, no, I really like that. But, you know, this has actually been a really,
really awesome episode.
I feel like I've kind of waffled loads, but I've
actually really enjoyed recording it and you know
chatting about all of the struggles of
(51:22):
being a parent and being a child I suppose going back
to school so yeah yeah it's like
if anyone else has got any other things that we've
missed I'd love to hear them because I'm sure there's things other people
worry about as well oh yeah definitely like
you know if there has been anything that you've been thinking
oh yeah this is something that's been playing on my mind you know
(51:44):
what with with going back to school like definitely let
us know you know we really like to
hear what other people are thinking and what you know sparks
when you're listening to what we're saying so yeah you
know definitely reach out and and let us know
but yeah this has been an awesome episode and I
really appreciate everybody listening in and
(52:05):
you know don't forget obviously to leave us
a review or a comment let us know what you thought of this episode
you know the more the more people interact with
the podcast the more people you know it gets kind of pushed out to so the more
people we can chat to and hopefully help or just you know pass the time if that's
(52:27):
what you do when you listen to our podcast it's just time passing and yeah and
obviously we're on on Facebook and TikTok.
So don't forget to kind of, you know, follow our pages and share it out with people if you see fit.
So yeah, thank you very much for listening to this episode and we will see you next week.
Hi guys welcome to a another episode
of the two shallots filled with tea we are
really excited to be here tonight talking to you
about our our next episode and
i just want to say as well i know it's only been a week since we were last on
air but what a long week it's been it's been an absolutely crazy week for the
(00:24):
two of us and i don't really know what i've been doing but it's It's just been one of those weeks,
like I feel like it's taken a whole year to go by.
But it is that time of year. It is the time of year when the kids are all going
back to school, starting new schools.
And you know how crazy and hectic they are. And that is what we want to talk
to you guys about tonight.
(00:45):
I know that there's going to be a lot of you that will relate to this as well.
Not only is it the summer holidays, which is a crazy expensive time of year,
but then you have the back to school costs.
They're crazy expensive. So you're juggling bills, left, right and center.
You're having to remember lunch boxes. If you have to make lunch boxes, get all that stuff done.
(01:05):
You're having to make sure you've got your school uniform, the bags,
the pens, the pencils, everything that they need.
And you're having to get yourself a routine back into your life again,
because let's face it, the summer holidays is crazy.
Crazy and yeah it's just it's it's so
topsy-turvy and I just.
Feel like this week has been the longest
(01:27):
week the longest week of my life honestly but
I crave the routine I'm I love the
holidays but I miss the routine
so much like I know I'm not alone on this no
do you know I'm exactly the same like I love not
having the school routine not having to do pick up and
drop off and lunchbox and homework and make
(01:49):
sure you've got uniforms that are washed and dried and
ready and have you got everything in their school bag
and this and the other like I love not having
the stress of that every single day but man
I'm kidding it's killing me for routine I'm like
trying to have the routine getting up
and you know going out and knowing exactly where I'm
(02:11):
going to be at what time on what day and not having to
just like mess around with anything it just
be you know you know that's what you're doing Monday to
Friday like and I love having you
know Darcy not at preschool and obviously Grace has
not been at school for what feels like forever because
she finished her GCSEs on the 14th of
(02:34):
June so that was the last day she was at school all and she starts college tomorrow
which I'm like unwell I'm just not okay about that so not okay about her starting
college but yeah it feels like she's been at home for literally forever.
So it's going to be nice to get real routine and structure and,
(02:58):
you know, just knowing what I'm supposed to do,
because I'm sure I'm not the only one that's brain just completely falls out
my ears when I don't have routine.
Routine oh stop yeah mine does like at the beginning of the holidays and every
holiday this is the exact same
thing happens for me at the beginning beginning of the holidays I'm like,
(03:19):
ah freedom we can get up when we like we can do what we like and by the end
of the holidays like no one's getting up in this house till like 10 o'clock
in the morning and like the kids are just.
Lazy like they don't want to come out their rooms they're all doing their
own thing I don't know what's going on what day it
is like is it the weekend is it the week I
(03:40):
have zero idea I lose track of like
you know appointments and this
that and the other because I lose track of what day it is I don't know what's
going on I know I feel so lost and I know that people are always talking about
our kids thrive off routine I'm like forget about the kids mums thrive off routine
yeah as much as I feel like my whole life is taken up with with,
(04:04):
like you say, with school, school runs,
like you can't go anywhere in a day because you're out in the morning doing
a school run and then halfway through your day, you're doing a school run.
And as soon as you come back, it's the homework, the dinner time routine,
the homework routine, the bedtime routine, the checking uniform,
everything is organized for tomorrow. Make sure the lunches are packed for tomorrow.
(04:25):
Make sure the school bag is packed for tomorrow. tomorrow and
you know it's just it just it takes up so
much of the day that you
don't really have any time to do anything else really but at the
same time like I'm so organized when
the kids are at school I'm so much more together like
I have my wits about me so much more I have a good sleep
(04:47):
routine you know I'm I'm so good
at my routine even things like my walking my exercise size
and my eating improve massively like when
the kids are at school so you know in an entirely selfish
kind of mind state I love the back
to school time for that but yeah it's still
a novelty every time the holidays happen when I'm like oh my god we can just
(05:09):
get up and go to the beach yeah literally that's the thing isn't it like you're
counting down for the holidays like because Because I remember like the last
couple of weeks before Grace and Darcy broke up for the summer,
I was like, oh, my God, I'm so ready to not make another packed lunch and to
(05:29):
not have to find uniform and matching socks.
And I'm so ready for that. And now I'm like, I'm so ready for the routine.
Give me all the odd socks. I'll pair them up myself. It's fine.
Let me find them. but the thing is as much as the routine is great I know that,
this time of year is crazy stressful for parents
(05:52):
when it comes kids going back to
school because you know for so like so
many so many different reasons because it's
you know I think the biggest one is like financially it's
a really expensive time of year and especially
if you have you know know kids starting a
new school where you know they have
(06:14):
a whole new list of stuff they need
and you know I had because I had the big
expense for me was last September
when Grace went into her final GCSE year because that's making sure she has
everything she needs for her exam season and all of the you know special scientific
(06:36):
calculators and all this kind
of stuff and it's It is actually like it's really rough when you're like,
oh, my God, I have to all of a sudden find like an extra couple of hundred quid for uniforms and bags.
And that's only if you have one child, like if you have more than one child
in school, it is something you have to plan for like the whole year.
(06:59):
Yeah, yeah, it really is. And like the same with us this year,
Max started secondary school.
And although this was the first year that the over here you have junior cycle
and senior cycle so the junior cycle is say seventh year to ninth year and then
they do their their junior set which is not quite a GCSE.
(07:23):
But not a SAT either so it's kind of somewhere between the
two and then they go into their senior cycle where you
have like transition year fifth year and then sixth year
where you do your leaving cert which is more like an a level than a GCSE yeah
so they're like 18 when they do their leaving cert 17 18 and so it's a slightly
(07:45):
different like to how it is in the UK but Well, it's been really expensive.
Like this year was the first year that junior cycle books were free.
Before that, like we've always paid for school books.
Primary school was free then for their school books for the last couple of years.
But up until Max was about eight or nine, we had to pay for all his school books at primary school.
(08:08):
So this was the first year that junior cycle students didn't have to pay for
their books, which was great.
So we got all his school books and study books
and copy books and stationery everything was given
to us so even like colored coloring in pencils
you know rubbers math sets calculators scientific
calculators everything like that was given to us
(08:28):
but amazing we had to we
still had to just get like a pencil case and pens and highlighters you
know like biros and stuff but that's that didn't
cost very much but we had to buy a laptop and
it had to be brought through the school because it
had to have a specific software installed onto
it that school had to install onto it that works with their google
(08:50):
classrooms and stuff because now they're doing like
integrated learnings you know technology is
such a huge thing now they're bringing it into the classroom so
all students will have their own laptop so we
had to buy him this this special laptop this chromebook that
had the software installed on it so that was 550 euros
altogether for that and then
(09:12):
obviously we have to have it insured so that is a monthly payment
now on top of that as well then the school fees were 100 euros that we had to
pay before he started covered like his homework diary and whatever the school
fees cover and then we had to get his insurance on top of that for the year
for the school, which was like an extra 13 euros.
(09:33):
Then we had to buy his school uniform and each item of Max's school uniform
was around about 40 euros on average.
So you're talking 40 euros for one pair of school trousers.
His school shirt was like 26 euros. His jumper was like 47 euros,
something like that. His tie was a tenner.
His shoes were like 50 euros. So that's one.
(09:57):
Trousers one shirt one jumper so he can't
just have one so he has to have two of all of them and then the same
for his p kit his trousers were like 40 euros
his p t-shirt was like 42 euros and
his p long sleeve top was like 42 or
43 euros then he had to have like you know
like a body warmer jacket thing that is
(10:20):
47 euros so then
you know two of all of those as well and then his p
shoes he's a size 10 shoe so that's
man shoes yeah he's used just
like nike black nike trainers
but obviously they're men's shoes so you're talking like 80
to 100 quid for his trainers as well so his
(10:41):
go back to school costs even though we got the books for
free were still astronomical yeah absolutely yeah
and then you know
and and also as i said it is the
end of the summer holidays well we know how expensive the summer
holidays are with days out and things like that and we
had one day out with the kids to a theme park and it
(11:02):
cost us over 300 euros just to go up to
the theme park for the day it's like a day out at thought park or chessington
or somewhere like you know like really expensive and then also what i was thinking
just now when you're talking is it's actually it's september there's only three
months till christmas i know don't i like.
(11:24):
I have to now obviously I've
done the back to school but I'm booking Darcy's birthday because she's born
she has a birthday in December yeah yeah yeah and we have Scotty's birthday
on the 23rd of December Max's birthday on the 17th of January yeah yeah Darcy's the 22nd of December
(11:45):
so we're now like planning her birthday and I'm like luckily you know and this is where I
am very lucky in the sense that Grace got herself a job over the summer so she
has bought a lot of the stuff she wants to take to college is stuff that she's
(12:05):
bought for herself because she got herself a job over the summer.
So that kind of stuff, I'm actually quite, you know, lucky, but I still have
to obviously get all this stuff for Darcy.
And now I'm like, and I've got a birthday in a couple of months and I've still got like.
I think four or five family birthdays between now
(12:25):
and Christmas and I'm oh my lord like
you just like you're instantly saving up again for the
the last half of the year which is just going to be you know it's going to be
astronomical Christmas is just crazy I know and then you know you've got a birthday
we've got a birthday two birthdays either side of it and it's just oh so yeah
the expense side of it is absolutely crazy and then of course like we were talking about this just now Now,
(12:51):
we're lucky because our kids like what they like and they're not that fussed.
But some kids, they want to keep up with everyone else. It's got to be designed.
It's got to be a certain thing. You know, some kids are just more into that
sort of thing than others.
And some just want to look cool or they think that they need a certain thing.
You know what kids are like.
And being a tween or a teen is a horrible time anyway, because you're just desperate
(13:15):
to fit in with everyone else. Exactly.
And it's so much pressure then and then
of course for a parent then you're dealing with
that whole like going back into another year what if your child
is nervous apprehensive starting a new
school the change you know all of these things so you're also worried about
(13:35):
how is my child going to cope you know are they going to handle it all right
is it going to be okay is it are they going to have friends still are they going
to make new friends and I'm sure your child is probably worrying the same thing as well.
Exactly it's you know it's financially hard on
us but it's also really emotionally and like
mentally hard on parents going back to school especially when
(13:58):
you're in the stage that both of us
are in actually with you know our kids are going into different schools
you know it's like a transition year yeah exactly
like grace is going to college which yeah like
i said i'm just so not okay about like i don't even i
can't believe i have it's like she's just probably going into of
the world yeah but she's going into college
(14:19):
in a town that she's only actually lived in full time
for two years so you know
she doesn't know anybody one of her friends from
her previous school is coming to the same college but
they're not on the same course so you know they'll
be in different classes they'll see each other because they'll be
coming to college and they'll be around the kind of campus together
(14:41):
but they're not going to be in the same classes so
then it's like you know you know I really hope
that she makes friends and you know I'm
sure that she will and you know I'm positive and confident
that you know she'll get on really well but there's always that bit of kind
of you know I just hope that she really does get on and really enjoys it because
(15:02):
I'd hate to think that she's unhappy and not you know not making friends and
not enjoying going to college because.
You know she is going to be having the best
time of her life and yeah exactly and so
it's such a and it's like another it's
that next milestone like that next step you know moving into the next school
(15:27):
up or college or university or even leaving university like being a parent of
a child that's left university now and going into the like the actual world
is really scary because it's.
You know when they're babies like when your kids are
babies the milestones come really quite rapidly
you know like we took the
(15:50):
bars off Darcy's bed at the weekend and I'm
so not okay with the fact that she now doesn't have
a car anymore because that baby phase is
completely gone now but they happen so quickly when
they're younger and then you get these huge gaps as they they
get older and I'm like you know Grace starting college
is so huge I'm like how have I got a
(16:11):
16 year old that's got a job
and going to college like how how is
that even happening like I feel
like I'm still 16 like how have I got yeah it's
mad it's crazy really
isn't it and it's so much change and then like obviously
if your child is stressing out about what they're
(16:34):
going then you've got like that that kind of
bit of friction and attitude with them as
well and it's all just there's so many different things
to think about and stress about and and as parents we're often just expected
to know what to do say feel think and you know we have to be this like rock
(16:55):
of strength for our kids but at the same time like a lot of us are just going
through this for the the first time ourselves.
And, you know, we're still, every day we're learning and it's a new experience for us being.
Obviously we've done the experience of being in the
school and going through these steps ourselves but it's
a really different experience when you're the parent
(17:17):
looking at your child and you just you desperately want
your child to just have the best time
and obviously you don't want to see them hurt you don't want to see
them falling out with their friends you don't want to see them feeling lonely
or bored or upset or stressed or anything like
that but at the same time it's this for us
anyway like for you with with grace going into college for
(17:39):
me with max going into secondary school it's that time in
their life when they are gonna start experiencing more
ups and downs of life and it's that
time when you have to step back a little bit
and let them make their mistakes let them
have their fallouts let them experience their
(17:59):
downs as well as their and just be there to
support them and let them you know deal with all
those things because it's part of them growing up and
they need to they can't have you hovering around
them their entire life being there ready to swoop in
and you know deal with their friends that they've fallen out with for them or
talk to the teacher on their behalf if they forget their homework and smooth
(18:22):
everything over like they have to start learning consequences of actions or
they'll never learn when they're adults so you have to find that that place
where you you know you you kind of.
It's that step away from being in like the baby schools
and what have you and learning to like stand on their own two feet a bit before
they're going off into adulthood you have to let them like I said you have to
(18:44):
learn to let them make their own mistakes and you know do all these things and
that's that's hard for for a parent watch their child going through these things and And,
you know, letting them do it their way, letting them make their own mistakes.
Because I often as well, like I could tell Max something till I'm blue in the
(19:04):
face. But if he thinks he knows best.
Well, this is it. And, you know, one thing and this is something that I'm like
I have to kind of remind myself is we've all been kids like we've all been teenagers.
Teenagers and as an adult you can look into a teenage life and be like oh my god that is so,
(19:27):
minute in the grand scheme of things yeah
and I have to keep reminding myself that
it isn't in their world and I
actually saw a post on
Facebook and the person who posted it's now name absolutely
escapes me but it was a post that basically said be the adult you needed as
(19:51):
a child yeah and now I'm like my mind is blown but it's so hard to do that like
you want to kind of instill the.
The the right mindset especially when it comes to
like fallouts with friends I'm the worst if Grace
falls out with one of her friends so help me god I
am literally sat here like give me that phone I'm
(20:14):
like I'm not having this okay
like my rage on her behalf yeah because
I'm like she stopped telling me about things because
of the rage that I would get and she was just like I'm not
telling my mum that I've fallen out with this person or that person
because she'll just get super angry about it and
I'm like so I want to like instill the way
(20:37):
I would feel about that situation as an adult
when you fall out with friends when you're an adult it's very much a
case of you can just be like okay fine I don't need that kind
of thing in my life I'm happy to close that that chapter when
you're a kid it's like the world's gonna swallow you
up if you're oh my god yeah so but I
have to try and like be like there to be supportive
(20:58):
and give advice without being like
just get over it it's not the issue which I
do find myself saying all the time and I
yeah I'm trying very hard not to be that parent anymore
yeah like I'm good at the tough love but I
need to be a bit softer I think and for
(21:18):
me it's they're like I
have to remember what I was like as a teenager which is
I honestly thought my parents knew nothing like.
I literally I was like they have no idea they don't understand
anything but as an adult now I can.
See that yeah I do understand like I've been through
a lot I understand a lot more than you
(21:39):
do and you know I know and that's why I'm
telling you you need to do xyz but I
need to also understand that that
Max is just he's just the same as me
really and that he thinks he knows best he thinks
that yeah he'll listen to what I say and he'll be like yeah
all right mum and then he'll do it his own way anyway and I have to accept that
(22:02):
and I have to just like you say be there to support him once he's done it his
way and however that pans out just because you know I I can see the bigger picture
doesn't mean that he can and he has to make the same mistakes like they have to
you have to let them make mistakes or they won't learn
but it's so hard isn't it because you don't like
I don't want Grace to make the same mistakes
(22:24):
I made like I want Darcy to go down
the same path that I did so I think you
like overcompensate yeah the parent
to like push them so far in the opposite direction that there's no possibility
that they're going to accidentally fall down the same rabbit hole you did yeah
like but I think as long as we're there to support them they won't fall down
(22:48):
like for me I fell down a rabbit hole because I had no one there to support yeah.
That's it like you know that's the
thing like yeah we fell into those you know
bad habits and self-destructive things
because there wasn't there wasn't somebody
around to be like it's really
got the pieces when it all went to shit basically yeah exactly yeah exactly
(23:13):
like which they'll never they'll never experience that no definitely not definitely
not but yeah going Going back to school and starting that new phase is so tricky for everyone involved.
And like, even when your kids start in primary school, like I remember taking
Max there and the teachers having to peel him off me.
(23:34):
You know, when he first started, when he was in like junior infants,
they'd be peeling him off me.
He'd be crying and like, no, don't leave. And the teacher would be like, just go, just go.
And you'd have to walk away, leave. And you're like, oh, my God.
And then you spend the whole day at home like he
was crying his eyes out about the poor thing like him
and then when you go to pick him up he's like oh I had a really good day yeah
(23:55):
and you're like yeah and that would happen every day for like maybe six months
well you remember what Darcy was like when she first started preschool yeah
the year like I was having to go and pick her up two hours after I dropped her
off because she was inconsolable yeah and that took,
you know well all the way from when she
(24:17):
started after easter all the way
until like a couple of weeks before the summer
holidays yeah and took a really long time
didn't know she was really struggling with it
and i just felt like the worst mother on the
planet like even to the point where i did
genuinely consider pulling her out and trying again in september to just because
(24:39):
she's too young obviously she's not ready for it but she seems to be okay about
the prospect of going back but that's also a thing that I'm now like in the
back of my mind I'm dreading going back because I'm like.
God, what if it's like it was, you know, back at the beginning of the year where,
again, she was screaming and crying and she was so upset and she didn't want me to leave.
(25:05):
And the mum guilt was just in, like, hypers. It eats you alive.
Oh, God. Honestly. And I would just lie there in bed at night being like,
I can't take her tomorrow.
Like, I can't face that. You know, drive to work and cry every single day.
I'd be sat at work thinking god i
hope she's okay and then i'd be calling into the nursery and
(25:26):
they're like well you know she is still a bit upset like we'll see how
she goes and i'm like oh god this is just awful too
much yeah and then just before this it's every
state like it is it's every stage like there's
something like when they're that young they just don't want to be apart
from their moms and i think it do you know i think
it happens to some because max was the saying like he was
(25:47):
disraught going into school it was just heartbreaking then
obviously then when like now he's starting secondary school
the first couple of days he was like ah I don't really
know I mean it's not like I thought it would be and
I'm like no like he's not that that bothered but
he's like oh it's not like I thought it would be and but he
after cryptocurrency they're doing like through
(26:09):
in the three terms so he's got like this time
he's got engineering business studies and graphics nice like
he's really looking forward to like art and home
economics yeah so he's a bit miffed that he hasn't got that but after Christmas
it would change so I think that's probably something that that upset him a little
bit was that he didn't get to do the ones he really wanted and then in April
(26:32):
then they pick their subjects yeah so they like what we did in England in year.
Nine when I was in year nine I picked my
subjects then to do my exam yeah for your yeah oh
I like that yeah so then he'll
just be doing the three that he picks like until the end
of school so he'll pick the ones he wants so I think he'll enjoy that a little
(26:55):
bit more after Christmas but like he's still settling in now and he's making
friends you know and he's getting into the routine of it and and he's fine but
I have worried sick about him every day like Like, is he fine?
Is he with friends? Is he sitting on his own? Do you know? Like, how is he getting on?
And I'm sure, like, probably you'll be the same then with Grace tomorrow.
(27:16):
How is she settling in? How is she getting on? Has she made some new friends? Hmm.
I know that I'm going to be like, you know, I'm, I'm dropping Darcy off earlier
tomorrow morning so that Grace and I can go and have like a bit of breakfast
and coffee and stuff together before she goes to college.
Cause I want to take her in and be around, but I know that I'm going to be like
(27:38):
waiting by my phone for her to go on her lunch break so that she can tell me how it's been.
And luckily she can do that. Like, because she's at
the age actually where she will have her phone and she can you
know phone me and tell me how she's getting
on and how she's settling in and this kind of stuff but
it's such a it's such a hard
(28:00):
time it's so hard for the kids but it's I think it's you
know equally as hard for the parents isn't it oh me too yeah
it's like I said it's just like we've never done this before and
you know what even if you have done it before with another kid every child
is different so you're still going to worry just as much for every child
it's still a new experience for each child that you
have and it's still you know it's
(28:21):
still something that we're just experiencing this side
of the whole back to school thing for the first time and it's like wow it's
so stressful this is it this is it but one thing I did want to touch on obviously
the pressures of going back to school you know emotionally and stuff and I know
We have obviously touched on the financial side,
(28:42):
but I think a lot of people worry about, like you were saying,
about do we have the right clothes and bags and shoes and this kind of stuff.
If you can't afford to get those kind of things, you then feel really guilty.
If you have to go and get you know
school shoes from Tesco's or from
(29:05):
a charity shop and one thing I wanted to
touch on was the internet makes it so
hard for parents I've seen two things over the last few weeks on the lead up
to going back to school one of them which I'm hoping thankfully is more of an
American trend than over here is these back to school boxes which is like
(29:28):
it's this like the whole Christmas Eve box and all this kind of stuff where
you're buying your kids like really expensive, like gadgets and clothes and bags and shoes.
Like I saw one woman put a box together for her daughter who can't have been
any older than like 10 or 11.
(29:48):
And it had, you know, designer handbags and shoes and a phone.
And I'm like, like are you actually for real like you think people are struggling
enough and now there's this trend of back to school boxes to spend even more
money and if they're not full of all the same amazing things that all their
friends have got then you then have the mum guilt there.
(30:12):
Yeah it's really hard because I'm not saying if
you have the money I'm not saying you shouldn't be able to treat
your kids like if you've worked really hard and you've you know
you've earned this money and you're not worrying about money then
I'm not saying don't treat your kids because other
parents can't like it's your prerogative right
do whatever you want but I just think with internet trends like that it's it
(30:35):
makes it that bit harder and makes other parents that can't do that feel worse
the thing is it sets like a level then see kids aren't the same as adults like we can go okay okay,
yeah, you can afford that because you've worked hard for it. That's great, you know.
Well done to you and that person that's got
the money can be like you know they don't look down on
(30:57):
anyone else or maybe they do because they're an asshole but most
people as an adult you can deal with that but as a child you
go into school and little Susie's got all this
amazing stuff before school and then they're like so what did you get
and everyone looks at you and you've got nothing and you
go quiet and then everyone laughs at you because Charlotte didn't
get anything think yeah you know and because kids
(31:20):
are cruel kids are actually kids are
so cruel and they they just i mean they don't think you know because and that's
where the it's the parents duty to install these beliefs and these views into
their children and one thing that i think you really need to install in children
is that nothing in this world comes for free yeah for sure and you don't just.
(31:43):
Get given boxes of stuff on a plate and you have to work for
stuff so in this house our kids have chores they have jobs
to do they have to work to get their pocket money if they don't do their jobs
they don't get their money it's that simple because you know we we are a low-income
household and we do struggle for things and me and mike work hard to save money
and keep to strict budget each week so that the kids can have nice things you
(32:06):
know for christmas and for
birthdays but the the rest of the year we do
again we always try and get them nice things but we don't
spoil them and we try to let them understand the value of things and it does
never hurt a child for you to say no you can't have that I agree no you can't
have that look if you really want that then you can do some jobs for me and
you can earn the money to buy it yourself that actually helps them understand
(32:29):
the value of things and it actually goes a lot further.
In life for them to learn those things I think personally
than to just hand stuff to them because once
kids can understand the value of things they maybe don't
be quite so cruel about people that don't have those things as
well yeah no I agree and you
know obviously Grace got a job in the summer so
(32:50):
her pocket money has stopped now because she has
a job she has her own money you know it would
be a case of if she hadn't done her jobs she would get
docked pocket money at the the end of the month when it would come over and but
now she's got a job if she doesn't go into work she doesn't get how
many sorry to learn that same yeah she
was learning you know if you don't if you don't work
(33:10):
you don't get paid so she has a job
if she doesn't go to work she doesn't get paid or god
bless her she had a week's holiday obviously when
we went to the isle of wight so it meant that she had to do like two weeks
worth of work in one week beforehand because she hadn't
actually accrued any holiday yet so yeah hey
she had to work two weeks worth of hours the week before those are the things
(33:34):
like but she's learning you know you need to work for your money and I think
well and good buying these like you know fancy back to school boxes and stuff for your kids but.
Are you treating them or
are you rewarding like is it a reward is it
a treat given is there like do
(33:56):
you know are you also teaching them that
not all kids are gonna be in this situation like
not every kid you go to school with and I had
that the problem majorly when I was at school because
I went to private school and there was a
lot of very very like we
weren't like in any way struggling we were
(34:18):
quite well off when I was younger but there was
a lot of very wealthy people that I went to school with so there
was a lot of this that I'd
see them having you know designer this.
And designer that and anything and everything that they possibly could
want and there's a bit of like the jealousy there but
they were also arseholes so they were all
(34:40):
very much it's like oh you don't have a designer handbag
yeah well poor you yeah
okay you know like sure
so I'm lucky in the same sense that you are that Grace is
very much not like that she's quite happy to buy things
from Primark if it's comfortable and it
fits her and she feels good in it then you know
(35:02):
she's she's quite happy with it yeah yeah and
like me and I suppose me and my friends you
won't hear us bragging about how expensive something was you
would hear us bragging about like this was a pound
yeah literally i love it
i absolutely love it right when i'm wearing some bargain hunters yeah and if
(35:25):
someone says oh i love that top you're wearing i love to be able to be like
oh my god i got it for like a couple of quid in a charity shop yeah like i love to say these.
Things I really love that like yeah me too me too,
like we need to make that cool we need to make thrifting cool that's it and
(35:46):
that was the that was the other thing that i've seen online is i follow this
i think yeah she's a mum but she does a lot of thrifting charity shop like buying
like upcycling blah blah blah she did a comparison.
Like video on tiktok just between what
it would be to cost to buy all kids school uniform new
(36:09):
and what it actually cost when she went to a charity shop
the hate that this poor woman
got for buying kids clothes in a charity shop bearing
in mind these are primary school children so we
know that they get things dirty scuffed they
tear the knees in the trousers all the time the polo
shirts end up covered in paint and food and and
(36:31):
they grow out of it so quickly and they grow like
so quick yeah this woman honestly
she got so much hate on this video from other
mums being like I would
never buy my kids stuff from a charity shop I would rather you know not spend
the money on me and spend the money on them and I'm like how can you say this
(36:54):
to another mum like that's so unfair yeah it's ridiculous if you can save money
I'm all for that like saving a bit of money.
I said it to you earlier, even with Max's old school uniform,
like I put it up on the free cycle page and gave it to whoever was first that
needed it, you know, for free.
(37:15):
Yeah, that's it. Like, it just made me so sad reading all these comments on
this poor woman's video because she does a whole, her whole page is all about ways to save money,
different charity She shops to go to upcycling stuff and this,
that, and the other, like it's all about saving money and she's got kids.
(37:35):
And it just was so sad to see her so much hate over, uh.
Buying clothes that is sad to be honest like over trying to
help people save some money and I just thought there
when you were saying that another thing that I really think schools need
to do is stop putting crests on things oh for
god's sake yeah because which school uniform should
(37:58):
be generic if they want to do crests it should be you know like a little
iron-on transfer that you can buy for like a pound literally
you know or it'd be something the school just
does if you want to have a crest on it then you
do that like yeah why charge us an
absolute fortune for your own uniform if it's private it's different like if
(38:19):
you're paying for school I think that's a bit different like private schools
in its own kind of little thing but state schools I think definitely yeah so
on the subject of school school crests is obviously.
Such an issue because it just means that you can't just
go and buy a generic uniform so again it's just more of
(38:40):
some money racket but I was also looking
at you know obviously when your kids start school you
want to find out about their day and I don't know about you but when Max was
in primary school I would ask him like how was your day what your friend's name
is he'd be like it was okay I don't remember don't remember my friend's names
(39:00):
I don't know did some reading and that's pretty much all I would get out of him, right?
So I never really know, like, is he making friends?
He doesn't remember his friends' names. Like, I don't know if that's an autism
thing or if it's a Max thing or if it's a kid thing,
but, like, it was really, really hard to get any information out of him,
(39:22):
and I know that I'm not alone with that.
No, I know a lot of names who feel the same way.
So, yeah, so I have got 10 different questions that you can ask your child,
which is hopefully going to open the door for a more meaningful conversation with them.
Because something I love about the holidays is you just you can like we like
(39:45):
to play a lot of board games and stuff like that.
And I end up having a really good laugh and a good giggle with Max and we talk loads.
And then it feels like he goes back to school and we kind of lose that a little bit.
It so just to help like create you know
more conversations to make sure that when you're asking them
about their day it doesn't sound like you're grilling them and interrogating them
because that can be a bit invasive maybe and
(40:08):
make them feel like a bit standoffish you know if there's
too many questions also you
don't want to you know like what we were saying you need to
like resist the urge to be telling your child what
they should say or do if they have a problem you know
and let them come to terms with that themselves and just
to let them know that if they do make mistakes or mess up
(40:29):
they don't need to be ashamed or embarrassed about it it's just a
natural part of life and it's something that they all have to
learn as they go through their school years so yeah
I got these 10 questions so if you are listening
you may want to get you may want to pause grab yourself a notepad and a pen
and write these down because I think these are really cool questions that kind
(40:50):
of shift the focus from the usual like the usual kind of monologue that you
have with your kids so question number one is what was the best part of your day today.
And I really like this question because it shifts their focus from you know
their usual routine and encourages them to share their favorite part of the
day yeah that's you know that's that's really good because it means that you
(41:12):
get an insight into what they enjoy the most in their school day as well,
which is, you know, going to change a lot as they go through school.
It's really insightful. And talking about the positive aspects of school is
going to really help them see that there's something positive happening every day.
So, you know, it takes away from the negative side of school,
(41:33):
like boring work, you know, and it focuses on something much more exciting,
even if that's lunchtime or break time, you know, playing with their friends or whatever.
Ever so it's really cool question number two is did
anything surprise you today and surprises
can range from you know unexpected science experiments
or getting picked for a sports team
(41:56):
and it again gets them to think about
things that happened through the day and share those
details with you that you might not have heard about otherwise it can be like
getting blood out of a stone getting getting your kid to tell you about the
day if you just asked them how was your day that like it's such a an open-ended
question I don't I just think sometimes it's too much for kids to be able to deal with.
(42:20):
Asking your child if they were proud of anyone in their class today.
And this question is really good, I think, because it helps your child to focus on like social skills.
It makes them think of their friends and makes them think, hmm,
what did my friends do today?
Was I actually proud of any of my friends? Did any of my friends do something really good today?
So it gets them to think about someone else and to give praise to someone else,
(42:44):
which is really, really good to help them understand that, you know,
it's good to cheer other people on and to back up everyone instead of seeing people as competition.
Because I think quite often with kids, they're so up on wanting to do,
oh, I want to be the best at that.
I want it to be the best of that, that they forget that it's actually okay to
look at other people and go, well done, you did really well.
(43:06):
And then you can ask them as well, you know, and another question is,
did you do anything that made you feel proud of yourself today
and this again can be you know
anything so it's also good for them
to know that it's fine to celebrate their own achievements and
they should be proud of themselves for that whether that's learning
to write in cursive or I don't
(43:29):
know if they're very young it could
be managing to go to the toilet and
get themselves dressed properly afterwards you know it could be something
really simple and it doesn't matter how minor it
is for that child like taking a moment to
acknowledge the time that they were brave maybe
or maybe they helped one of their friends maybe one
(43:49):
of their friends was sad and they talked to one of their friends and cheered them
up it's really good to just boost their confidence and reinforce their good
behavior so asking them a question like that is is a really good way as well
to see it's about seeing the world through your child's eyes which can really
help both of you to settle in more to the new school routine year or class.
(44:12):
You could ask them as well, what's one thing that could have happened today
that would have made it even better?
So this is really good because it helps your child to talk about something that
might have frustrated them, upset them or challenged them.
And again, it gives you insight into where they might need support in school.
And it can also help them to think about problem solving skills by identifying.
(44:35):
You know, actually that went wrong, but how could it have been better?
So it might help them then in the future as well have
a better idea of how to you know make their own problems better
question number six which is
a question that i really like asking max which is what's the most
interesting thing you learned today oh yeah i like that one
yeah and this this when
(44:57):
i ask max's question i usually get a really really long
answer but encouraging academic academic
curiosity with open-ended questions gives them
a freedom to share what interests them so I
think like I know for me I'm always
like oh well I really liked English at school so I
would kind of push that onto onto max which I
(45:19):
don't mean to do but it's just you know this is what I liked at school
so I'll talk about that but it's good to ask them what
is the most interesting thing they learn because you know
you might not realize your child really interested in history
or science or geography or something so it
helps you learn that and you know once you once you
know what they're passionate about at school it gives you that little bit
(45:41):
of space to kind of foster a bit of a love for their passions
as well and help them and as well number seven then question number seven what
did you play during break yeah i don't know what kind of games they play you
can find out this question could lead to stories about who their friends are
you know what they're doing what kind of games they're playing.
(46:02):
It kind of shows a bit of their social skills. It also shows a bit of their
interests outside of schoolwork.
So it's good for you to know, you know, whether they were playing on their own,
playing sports, talking to friends in a group activity, reading.
I know like with my Max, he had a group of friends and they would all like make comics together.
(46:22):
So they had like a kind of comic book thing that was going on.
Which was cool. But yeah, it's interesting to know like what they're getting
into outside of their lessons as well.
Question number eight is a question that encourages kind of empathy and compassion.
And I really like this question. Obviously, this is right up my street,
(46:44):
but it is, who were you kind to today?
And why? Why were you extra kind to someone?
Because it shows how, you know, it helps your child to consider how their kindness
can impact others and how it makes other people feel.
And it shows you the value of being kind to other people. And this is something
that we value in our family.
(47:04):
Um, so it's obviously something that I want to foster outside of,
you know, our family as well.
And I want my kids to grow up, to be compassionate and kind and,
you know, have that kind of level of respect for other people as well.
Question number nine what's something
that you'd like to try at school so he or
(47:24):
she your child might see other people
doing maybe a lunchtime club or playing
a musical instrument something that they wouldn't have
seen around your house maybe and that's
good for you know getting your child to be
aware that there's other things going on and they might develop an interest
in something think that they wouldn't have otherwise thought about so you're
(47:46):
just putting it into their brain to like look oh what is there something at
school I'd like to try or painting or you know anything like that so that's
good just to open their brains up a little bit to the idea that they can actually.
Try these things because I think a lot of time as well kids see other people doing it,
And because they're not doing it in their class, they don't know that they can do it.
(48:07):
You know, they just, that's what they do in that class, but they don't associate
it with being something that they can actually try.
So it's good to open that up to them as well.
And the last question, which is a really good question.
And I think it's a question that is really important to ask kids because kids
can be very embarrassed and shy about making mistakes.
(48:28):
Mistakes and they feel like it's a reflection on
them being bad or being naughty or doing something
wrong but asking them what's the mistake that
you or what's a mistake that you learned from today helps them
to realize that they can actually learn from their mistakes and
they shouldn't be embarrassed of them and that you know
mistakes can actually be a really good learning opportunity and
(48:50):
a stepping stone to doing something better so it's
also really good for helping your child to learn that they have
to take responsibility and learn from their
mistakes so it's a bit like a consequences of actions
kind of thing and it's a really important lesson for kids to learn I think because
quite often when kids do something wrong they'll deny it because they're embarrassed
(49:12):
or ashamed and they don't want someone to know that they did something wrong
but when you take that like remove the feeling of being ashamed or embarrassed
from it and make it okay to make.
A mistake as long as you've learned from it you know
it's a whole different ball game and I think it's a really important
step for kids to learn so those are 10 questions that
(49:32):
you can ask your kid maybe not all 10 questions at
the same time because it would probably blow their brains wide open but you
could pick a different question each day and ask them something different and
you'll be surprised at how much you'll learn I think from the answers that you
get and they give you that extra bit of insight into your child's life and also
give them a little bit of a.
(49:53):
You know a different way of thinking about things as well yeah no do you know what I absolutely,
absolutely love those I was like I'm thinking yeah I'm
gonna ask Darcy that on Thursday see how she got on
because most of the time when I asked Darcy oh how
was how was you know preschool today she's like it
was good yeah or yeah I don't
(50:14):
remember or I'm like who did you play with she's like I don't
know and I'm like you do know I'm like
you do because you have a memory like an an elephant even though
you are two you know exactly what you did
you're just choosing not to tell me today yeah um
I was like nice I don't remember I don't know
yeah but I absolutely love those and do you know what I think we should do is
(50:36):
write those into the notes on this podcast so that people could copy and paste
it or screenshot it or you know keep hold of it because yeah I I think they're
actually really good questions.
If you ask a different one every day, it's definitely going to give you a good
insight into what's going on.
And, you know, also gives you talking points with your kids because,
(50:59):
you know, yeah, when you're not around them all the time, you do kind of lose
that communication. You do, don't you?
Yeah. So, no, I really like that. But, you know, this has actually been a really,
really awesome episode.
I feel like I've kind of waffled loads, but I've
actually really enjoyed recording it and you know
chatting about all of the struggles of
(51:22):
being a parent and being a child I suppose going back
to school so yeah yeah it's like
if anyone else has got any other things that we've
missed I'd love to hear them because I'm sure there's things other people
worry about as well oh yeah definitely like
you know if there has been anything that you've been thinking
oh yeah this is something that's been playing on my mind you know
(51:44):
what with with going back to school like definitely let
us know you know we really like to
hear what other people are thinking and what you know sparks
when you're listening to what we're saying so yeah you
know definitely reach out and and let us know
but yeah this has been an awesome episode and I
really appreciate everybody listening in and
(52:05):
you know don't forget obviously to leave us
a review or a comment let us know what you thought of this episode
you know the more the more people interact with
the podcast the more people you know it gets kind of pushed out to so the more
people we can chat to and hopefully help or just you know pass the time if that's
(52:27):
what you do when you listen to our podcast it's just time passing and yeah and
obviously we're on on Facebook and TikTok.
So don't forget to kind of, you know, follow our pages and share it out with people if you see fit.
So yeah, thank you very much for listening to this episode and we will see you next week.
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