Episode Transcript
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Welcome back to
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The Wealth Effect.
Today, we're just going to talk about
random thoughts that I've written down in
my journals or that I've
thought about recently.
And I think what better way to start off
than thinking about a book I read called
The Happiness
Equation.
And the main thing that I got from that
book was a term called anti-fragile.
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They explained that it was when
something gets better as it gets damaged.
So instead of being
weakened, it gets stronger.
Just like when you're at the gym
exercising, you start to
feel your muscles sore.
They tear.
But after recovery, they
tend to be stronger.
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This term stayed with me because it really
made me think about where I grew up.
I grew up in a pretty rough neighborhood
in the south side of Chicago.
And I think seeing everyone around
me, I really thought they were just as
resilient as I was.
Because I saw them from like
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third grade up until eighth grade.
And most of them
weren't troublemakers.
And I thought they all had the desire
to leave the ghetto because
we were just surrounded
by violence.
And I think for me, it was how my mom
worked as a cleaning lady that really
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stuck with me as I went to work with her a
couple of times in the
summer when school was out.
And I saw that, well, it was a hard job,
especially in the blistering heat or cold.
I pretty much hated it as a kid just
because I didn't want
to get my hands dirty.
Or I also had a volunteer
right after that job.
I started realizing that even though
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I hated it, it still had to be done.
I'm a very
calm person.
Calm in the sense that I rarely hold any
negative thoughts towards pretty much a
lot of things.
But I also don't carry around
a bitterness about things.
And I think that's where people around
me, where I grew up, even up until high
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school, they carried this bitterness with
them that they weren't willing to let go.
They kept it
with them.
They kept
building it up.
And instead of working through it,
trying to be a little more understanding,
or in fact, just not understanding,
but rather just accepting it.
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Because there's very little we
can do, especially at a young age.
And people might tell you, you can
change the world, you can do all this.
But it's not much of a reality
when you're in the ghetto.
Especially back then, in the mid-2000s,
there wasn't much technology to really
spread around to see what
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was out there in the world.
And I think the bitterness they kept
with them, instead of growing out of it,
and trying to be a better person because
of it, it really stunted their growth.
They started becoming infurious about
topics that other people
had opposing views to.
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And they weren't
willing to accept that.
They needed to know that everyone
around them was around the same causes.
And I think that's what really drove me
that, even though I grew up with these
other kids, I still didn't have
the same experiences as them.
As no one ever repeats the same
experiences, not even me with my brother.
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But something about my experiences mixed
with my own intelligence to just accept it
and keep going.
And take it in because there's no denying
the economic inequality in our areas,
especially in Chicago, where the South
Side is the poor side and the North Side
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is the rich side.
It's very distinct.
But when I was young,
I didn't even tell.
I didn't even know the
North Side was rich.
I just knew that further away from
my neighborhood was a better place.
And I think for most people there, they
thought people in those better places
hated them.
And I can see it.
And even to this day, I tell people
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that people can see that I grew up poor.
Even though I can go anywhere in the city,
eat at fancy places, something about me
stands out.
Something about my looks, if not my way
of being, doesn't reflect high status.
Just because I enjoy telling jokes,
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messing around, and I'm not as overly
mannered as
other people.
I like enjoying life as it is and to not
really indulge in anything that seems
unnecessary.
And I think that's where I also
started to see myself as an individual.
While people in my neighborhood,
in my schools, they started seeing
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themselves as
a collective.
Which is fine.
Like, we all belong to
a part of a community.
Whether it be the Hispanic community,
the low-income community, or just being
part of the city.
But since I didn't talk to many
people, I really just saw myself as me.
And never as part of
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a group in society.
I saw myself as me, with an undocumented
single parent, living in the ghetto,
trying to get out because of my
dreams of being a bigger person.
A person that is so important that maybe
one day a statue will
be named in their honor.
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While I saw other people fighting for
Hispanic rights, for demiscrimination,
and that's
all fine.
But that all became part
of their whole identity.
Not pursuing what they
themselves as an individual want.
And it's not bad to help
around the community.
I do eventually want to start a
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non-profit to help kids in underprivileged
communities.
Help get the resources, the help that
they need to really, one,
better their education,
their life.
But when you're young, you might feel like
you need to be a part of these communities
because they are
a part of you.
The only issue is you start to blame
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things on other people
that you could never
possibly know.
Other invisible
forces.
And you start breaking yourself over these
issues and start making cracks in your own
development.
In the sense that you might say, I
didn't get the score on this ACT test
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because I live in a poor
area with bad education.
And that
might be true.
But we also got to accept the fact that
a lot of it is our
responsibility to be better.
We know our schools lack a lot of
good, funded resources, like libraries,
like additional teachers and
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support throughout the school.
And we've known
those flaws.
I think even in elementary school, you
kind of felt the flaws in the school,
the lack of
resources.
And back then, I wasn't as aware
as I am, as I was in high school.
But I did know I didn't
go to a good place.
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I know this wasn't
the best school.
But I did think that it was a better
school compared to the
other schools in the area.
And although I didn't really take
advantage of any of the resources in
either elementary school or high school,
I think nowadays, more kids are self-aware
at an early age.
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And they also know that their
schools are not the best.
But because of technology, they can
actually access way more
resources than in the past.
Yet they still want to blame the fact
that our schools are underfunded.
And there is
discrimination still.
There's no denying that
discrimination still exists.
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It's just, as an individual, you really
have to look at it to say whether this
discrimination is really what's
going to hold you back in life.
And things
compound over time.
So if you're not feeling good in
high school, that really impacts your
development, your self-esteem,
and honestly, your ego over time.
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You start to develop a sense of belonging
to these communities, these groups.
And that's fine.
The only thing is that you try to stick
around there and not to further interact
with different communities,
different people.
And really learn about the world,
about seeing, whether it be from a
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neighborhood to a city, or
from a city to a country.
To see the whole world as a place
that really isn't fair at all.
Yet, just being you, being a little more
self-aware about the situation you're in.
About caring, about wanting to
really further yourself in life.
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And further yourself in life doesn't
necessarily mean in terms of money,
wealth, or power.
It can just be more comfortable,
the place you want to be.
Because there might be people born in the
city and want to live a life in the farm.
And sure, it's not luxurious or
anything, but it's what they want.
What's holding them back might not
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necessarily be what they think it is.
And I think that's a dangerous thing to
be taught and shown in schools and around
places without ever thinking
about the individual.
And I remember in high school,
when I would compete in debate
competitions, we knew who
went to the better school.
Whether it just be by the name or by
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the sheer dedication to the debate,
their education,
their fast reading.
But what made me different and allowed me
to get some awards and go pretty far for
not really knowing how to read or really
not very school smart at the time,
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was my ability to think outside the box
independently and really
free from the standard
education system.
Because a lot of these
debaters were really good.
They had these things, memorized,
practiced, every argument, ready to be
laid out, organized.
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And I was a
slow reader.
I was a really bad
person to be organized.
What really stuck out was that I actually
watched a ton of YouTube videos growing up
about random
topics.
And because of those random
topics, each case really helped me.
And because of the random topics I would
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watch, I was able to like poke holes in
random cases that
they would bring up.
Just because I'm like, oh, some of
this documentation might be old.
Some of this documentation might make
sense in theory, but conflicts with other
things that are going
around in the world.
And that small part of my success in
debate wasn't due to my school education,
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but my curiosity to really learn outside,
to do what I wanted, to not really depend
on my education for the
broken school system.
And I think going back to the
anti-fragile, it's that idea where I could
have just blamed it on the school
system, that I went to this small school.
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I went to a small elementary school
and I wasn't properly taught anything.
I wasn't
properly helped.
I was just left
there alone.
Even as an adult, I could have blamed
all my failures on the school system.
I could have blamed everything had I
not succeeded on the school system,
that they didn't teach me this,
they didn't teach me that.
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But I am on the road to success and
I'm not discrediting the school.
I do have to give them some credit because
they gave me some basis
for a lot of things.
But most of the credit goes to me for
actually doing stuff outside of school,
in college, especially having the
dedication to really force myself,
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push myself to the extremes of working
overnight, passing out on my chair from
exhaustion, going to school
for 23 credit hours a semester.
It was all
really hard.
I couldn't just
not do anything.
Being an adult by that
time, it was all on me.
Like after turning 18, I felt so, so
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enabled to do everything because now I
could open a
bank account.
I could do this.
I'm a legal adult to be able to make
all these financial decisions and having
access to things because
my mom was undocumented.
So there was a very limited amount
of access she could get on financial
instruments.
Well, now that I was 18, I
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was able to get everything.
And it just happened to be the years of
technology advancing fast enough to give
brokerage accounts
to just about anyone.
Easier investments, alternative
investments started rising up.
It maybe was
the right time.
I could have just been like my other
classmates, learning in school,
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learning to be a good accountant,
a good finance person.
But I wanted
more than that.
I knew I wasn't meant for
finance, for accounting.
I was meant to really develop random
skills, random information
in my own capacity.
And even though I struggle really hard to
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read, it became one of
my favorite things to do.
Even though I take, let's say like five
minutes, six minutes, a page to read a
small book, I still try
and it wears me out.
It wears me down just like a long day of
working after an hour or two of reading
just because it takes
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more brain power.
But as I developed that, instead of
trying to read while I was in college,
I started to memorize the concepts,
really pay attention to everything and try
to reason my way if I couldn't memorize
it just to make it make sense in my head.
And instead of blaming the professors,
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I just took it upon myself to really,
it's not their fault that
I'm not learning it right.
Maybe it's my fault just because they're
teaching it a standard way maybe.
And I'm not a
standard person.
And I could have easily blamed had
I gotten bad grades on
the style my professor
was teaching.
It wasn't
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meant for me.
But then again, the whole
world was never meant for me.
I grew up in a place where people are
forgotten and live generations in these
poor areas, never advancing just because
they expect the world to revolve.
around their needs.
And I think that's a bad idea where
people are scared to crack and break.
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And I was too.
I was scared
more to fail.
I felt like recently looking back that I
might have had a bunch of
panic attacks and never
realized it.
Just because I try to deny any health
problems I have just because I thought I
had such a strong will that I could
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overcome it just by sheer willpower.
And until more recently, I realized that
it takes a good portion of willpower.
But some things are just so difficult
and impact the body so much that I can't
sustain it.
And maybe other
people can.
Just like a bunch of billionaires and
successful people can work 14 hours a day
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and still be functional
the next day.
I realized that I was able to do it
for four years and then I burnt out.
I couldn't.
I don't think.
..
I think it's really hard for me to imagine
now working that much just because I think
my prime learning really faded just
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because my body wore out so fast early on.
and maybe I could come back
to it just not right now.
And to accept that I'm not as
mentally capable as I used to be.
Although I still can learn my thinking's a
little slower my processing's a little bit
slower even though it is refined for
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specific topics due to the
amount of time I've been
learning them.
There's still a lot of there's still a lot
of daily tasks that really blow over my
mind that one
might call simple.
And to me that really is a sense of being
better through difficult situations like I
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didn't expect to become
a smart person per se.
I never really got good
grades up until college.
But I did know I was capable of thinking
capable of thinking and processing big
ideas in my head.
And I think I for sure didn't and still
find it difficult to communicate my
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thoughts just because they're so scrambled
and very unique way of reasoning that it
can be frustrating for most people talking
to me if they're not pre-planned and
pre-organized for
everyone to understand.
And that might
be a flaw.
But to me that's my thinking
it's hard to steer away from it.
But that's the only way I was able to
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really succeed in college in my short
career and now in my financial career
that I saw myself as an individual.
I saw my cracks but really accepted them
and didn't become bitter of what I lacked
in my childhood in my adulthood in any way
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I don't try to blame anyone for it and I
don't recommend most people following any
path of anyone else just because you're
such in a unique situation that you would
need a blend of everything to make sure
you're not only mentally capable of it but
physically capable of it because you wear
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down your body way more than you would
think Trying to achieve a lot of things.
And this might be... this episode might
just be named Random Thoughts because I
stayed away because I was just
rambling on about random things.
Hopefully the next one will
be a little more organized.
Until next time.