June 5, 2024 • 14 mins
Hello Friends! Welcome to this short introductory episode of This Brutiful Life. I'm Marriah Wyrding, and I am so excited (and nervous!) I am to share this project with you. This journey has been pushing me out of my comfort zone, and it's been humbling to say the least.
In this podcast, I'll share stories from my life and chat with some incredible people who have faced unimaginable hardships and still found a way to keep going. Creating a container to hold the complex duality of the brutal and the beautiful in our experiences, and remembering that we are not alone in this journey.
We'll also dive into some practical tools and practices that have helped me and others stay grounded while navigating obstacles, pain, and grief. I hope you'll find something here that resonates with you and helps you feel connected.
This is all one big experiment, blending a bit of spirituality, a touch of magic, and a whole lot of heart. So let's embrace the dualities of life together and make something truly "brutiful". Thanks for being here with me. I can't wait to share this journey with you.
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to This Brutiful Life. My name is Mariah Weirding, and this is my first episode.
I'm thrilled to begin to release this project that has been keeping me awake at night,
shoving me out of my comfort zone, and shaping me as much as I have been humbled
(00:23):
by the process of doing my best to shape it.
I am a performance artist by trade and have spent many a happy hour on stages
performing my interpretation of other people's art that I admire and love and respect.
It brings me great joy and for a long time it felt like my sole purpose.
(00:48):
That something has been wanting to be discovered within that is more than simply
being a vessel for someone else's expression to come through.
I've always been terrified of this sort of format because it feels so very vulnerable and raw,
(01:11):
and it reminds me a bit too much of having grown up as a pastor's kid in a tumultuous
family life and church dynamic.
And so I've always been reticent to step into a more of a orator or spiritual guide type of role,
(01:35):
but then I seem to find myself in circumstances where I'm being asked to step up as a leader.
But the kinds of leadership that call to me the most are those that involves
creating a solid container of integrity for,
people to gather and to share what is on their hearts and minds,
(01:56):
to sit with the big complexity of being a human on the earth at this time.
And the brutal, unimaginable pain and suffering that seems to be an inherent
part of the human experience.
So that we don't feel so alone or isolated. That we can see each other in our stories shared.
(02:24):
And the food that we bring to break bread with each other. and the felt experience
of sitting in a circle and feeling each other's voices and heartbeats and breath and energy.
For a long time, I did that in concert to being an artist on stage,
(02:44):
starting first with dance classes and then realizing that there was this incredible,
powerful magic that was happening awakening and beginning to weave in spiritual
practices to those dance classes and understanding a stronger purpose and drive
(03:05):
was being unearthed in me.
And then the pandemic came along and so many other things that required us to
turn inward and to step even further away from each other than we typically
are in our day-to-day lives.
And I've still been struggling with what exactly to do, how to offer something
(03:26):
to the world of substance, meaning, and purpose.
Especially as I have discovered that teaching dance and performing on stage
is not the only purpose that I have, apparently, even though I thought that
was true with every fiber of my being and have fought...
(03:46):
Very strong signs for a while. I don't know if this podcast is the pinnacle,
the peak that I'm attempting to surmount or the ultimate thing and gift and
offering that I want to offer in service to the world,
but it feels like there's a through line that I might weave myself into the
(04:10):
tapestry of being a helper in the world, as Mr.
Rogers' mom said, an antidote to this overwhelming heaviness and hopelessness
and teetering on the edge of despair that is being in this human body,
that the more we're discovering about ourselves
(04:33):
And about our history and how our
hardware is set up to only take in the information and depth of connection and
capacity to hold sorrow and complexity of about 150 to 200 people.
(04:54):
And now here we are in this miraculous world of technology where we are globally
connected to more people than our brains and bodies and hearts can fully comprehend.
And yet that technology is the very thing that kept us from being completely
(05:15):
cut off from each other during the pandemic and other times when we are not
able to be with each other.
And so it feels really important to be able to hold nuance and complexity,
to be able to recognize that our fragile systems are being co-opted and filled
(05:37):
with propaganda at every turn.
And it just gets worse the more the technology increases, though the technology
is an incredible tool and a gift.
We all know what media does to
influence us hypnotize us
(05:58):
and downright traumatize us in some cases
but i don't want to be an ostrich that
attempts to go back to some time before
technology opened us up to connection
with each other in these ways because we can't and i also I also don't want
to be so overwhelmed by how deeply feeling I am and how much despair I feel
(06:27):
on a daily basis on behalf of people all around the world.
So it's an attempt here to find the balance, to straddle the line,
to hold the duality with nuance, with grace, with compassion.
And so my intention for the format of
(06:50):
the podcast will be a variety of episodes with me speaking about stories of
my life and then also conversations with people that I know and respect and
trust in the world who I've seen and witnessed go through tragedy before.
(07:11):
Somehow managed to respond to absolute despair and defeat and grief and trauma
and pain with a drive to survive.
Somehow managed to keep getting up each day and taking another breath and just
focusing on the next breath and the next breath and the next breath and what
(07:32):
it is that they did and what it is that I have done in order to manage to do that.
Brutal stories. and the beautiful meaning that we manage to make despite the
obstacles, plus an opportunity to bring it into the real.
I find that there are a wealth of therapeutic arts out there and ways that we
(07:58):
can get in touch with that inner spark that is able to hold on just one more day.
But some of the most potent ones for me continue to be those that ground it
in the body and in our tether to the earth itself.
And so my hope for this podcast is not just a container for storytelling and
(08:22):
attunement and co-regulation,
but then to take it a step further and offer tools, practices,
tips, and in some cases, even demonstrations of what that might feel like. Thank you.
For now, this will be in the audio format, but I see a lot of potential in the
(08:43):
video format specifically because it's so much easier to actually practice a
tool or something that's being suggested in real time when you can see people doing it on screen.
And I know that life is busy, and oftentimes for me, I'm listening to a podcast
while I'm driving, doing dishes, laundry.
(09:07):
But my invitation to you is, even if you're busy in the moment of listening
to it, circling back to the practices that actually resonate with you and trying
them in real time as you listen. See if it works.
It's all a great experiment that we're in. This is all one giant science lab
(09:28):
with a lot of spiritual witchy goodness mixed in for us to just be together
and not feel quite so alone.
Sometimes the episodes will be short and sweet.
Sometimes they'll be long. I make no promises about the consistency because,
(09:49):
P.S., I'm also an astrology nerd and I've got a Gemini stellium,
a lot of Libra, a lot of Leo, and a lot of Cancer in my chart.
So it's just going to be a mixed bag of all of the things. things
and this to me feels like
my practice of bringing it into
the real and into the body because not only
(10:10):
because but on the astrology tip I
have so very little earth in my chart that I do have to remind myself on a daily
basis that despite how strong and powerful my brain is that I do have to bring
it down into all the layers of my body and speak to my body in the the language that it is fluent in,
(10:32):
which is sensing and feeling and movement and rest.
Let's not forget rest. Real true rest, right?
A little bit about the title. I am very fond of playing with words and turning
them into something new and exciting and different and
(10:55):
something that sounds funny, something that feels good in my mouth and in my body.
It's been one of my favorite ways to express myself creatively and also to find my weird kin.
I'm fortunate to have family members who relish and revel in that as well.
(11:15):
And we have created dialects that go in many directions in this great country of ours,
in the various little pockets of offshoots of communities and cousins and friendships and lovers.
And there's so many people that I want to thank for their contributions to the
(11:39):
great language that is weirding-ness.
And one big shout out to my dear friend Anne Connors, who helped me co-create the word Brutiful.
And it just sort of happened organically, like often those words do.
And I'm not sure which one of us said it first or realized it first,
(12:01):
but that's a lot of what the weirding kinds of languaging is,
is just like smashing words together to make a point that couldn't possibly
be made without those two words being smashed together.
Other because sometimes the English language just doesn't have,
(12:21):
it fails me in my attempt to really get across what I'm trying to say.
And so that's what it feels like to me that the core point of life is.
It's not just about chasing some destination called happiness or once I get
through my healing journey, quote unquote,
(12:43):
I will arrive at XYZ destination point and none of these things that have challenged
me in the past will be part of my life.
And if you know anything about the cyclical reality...
Nature, of the healing process, and of the body itself. And we know that that's not true.
(13:04):
And so this is an attempt to embrace that life is both brutal and beautiful.
And putting too much of our attention on either one of those polarities,
we do so at our detriment and at our harm, at our stagnation.
But if we can find a way to embrace both sides and do our best to appreciate
(13:27):
what is showing up for us in the here and now without bypassing the grief that
is inherent when things do not go the way that we want them to.
I think there's something really powerful in that intersection.
I'm really excited about the conversations I already have scheduled and I'm
(13:49):
in the works of recording.
There's a lot of people on my list to reach out to to have conversations with
and it will be a work in progress.
I hope you will join me for the ride and I look forward to cultivating a container
(14:10):
with you that is strong enough to hold,
all of the brutality together as we weave more meaning of beauty together.
Thank you so much for listening. Thank you.
Welcome to This Brutiful Life. My name is Mariah Weirding, and this is my first episode.
I'm thrilled to begin to release this project that has been keeping me awake at night,
shoving me out of my comfort zone, and shaping me as much as I have been humbled
(00:23):
by the process of doing my best to shape it.
I am a performance artist by trade and have spent many a happy hour on stages
performing my interpretation of other people's art that I admire and love and respect.
It brings me great joy and for a long time it felt like my sole purpose.
(00:48):
That something has been wanting to be discovered within that is more than simply
being a vessel for someone else's expression to come through.
I've always been terrified of this sort of format because it feels so very vulnerable and raw,
(01:11):
and it reminds me a bit too much of having grown up as a pastor's kid in a tumultuous
family life and church dynamic.
And so I've always been reticent to step into a more of a orator or spiritual guide type of role,
(01:35):
but then I seem to find myself in circumstances where I'm being asked to step up as a leader.
But the kinds of leadership that call to me the most are those that involves
creating a solid container of integrity for,
people to gather and to share what is on their hearts and minds,
(01:56):
to sit with the big complexity of being a human on the earth at this time.
And the brutal, unimaginable pain and suffering that seems to be an inherent
part of the human experience.
So that we don't feel so alone or isolated. That we can see each other in our stories shared.
(02:24):
And the food that we bring to break bread with each other. and the felt experience
of sitting in a circle and feeling each other's voices and heartbeats and breath and energy.
For a long time, I did that in concert to being an artist on stage,
(02:44):
starting first with dance classes and then realizing that there was this incredible,
powerful magic that was happening awakening and beginning to weave in spiritual
practices to those dance classes and understanding a stronger purpose and drive
(03:05):
was being unearthed in me.
And then the pandemic came along and so many other things that required us to
turn inward and to step even further away from each other than we typically
are in our day-to-day lives.
And I've still been struggling with what exactly to do, how to offer something
(03:26):
to the world of substance, meaning, and purpose.
Especially as I have discovered that teaching dance and performing on stage
is not the only purpose that I have, apparently, even though I thought that
was true with every fiber of my being and have fought...
(03:46):
Very strong signs for a while. I don't know if this podcast is the pinnacle,
the peak that I'm attempting to surmount or the ultimate thing and gift and
offering that I want to offer in service to the world,
but it feels like there's a through line that I might weave myself into the
(04:10):
tapestry of being a helper in the world, as Mr.
Rogers' mom said, an antidote to this overwhelming heaviness and hopelessness
and teetering on the edge of despair that is being in this human body,
that the more we're discovering about ourselves
(04:33):
And about our history and how our
hardware is set up to only take in the information and depth of connection and
capacity to hold sorrow and complexity of about 150 to 200 people.
(04:54):
And now here we are in this miraculous world of technology where we are globally
connected to more people than our brains and bodies and hearts can fully comprehend.
And yet that technology is the very thing that kept us from being completely
(05:15):
cut off from each other during the pandemic and other times when we are not
able to be with each other.
And so it feels really important to be able to hold nuance and complexity,
to be able to recognize that our fragile systems are being co-opted and filled
(05:37):
with propaganda at every turn.
And it just gets worse the more the technology increases, though the technology
is an incredible tool and a gift.
We all know what media does to
influence us hypnotize us
(05:58):
and downright traumatize us in some cases
but i don't want to be an ostrich that
attempts to go back to some time before
technology opened us up to connection
with each other in these ways because we can't and i also I also don't want
to be so overwhelmed by how deeply feeling I am and how much despair I feel
(06:27):
on a daily basis on behalf of people all around the world.
So it's an attempt here to find the balance, to straddle the line,
to hold the duality with nuance, with grace, with compassion.
And so my intention for the format of
(06:50):
the podcast will be a variety of episodes with me speaking about stories of
my life and then also conversations with people that I know and respect and
trust in the world who I've seen and witnessed go through tragedy before.
(07:11):
Somehow managed to respond to absolute despair and defeat and grief and trauma
and pain with a drive to survive.
Somehow managed to keep getting up each day and taking another breath and just
focusing on the next breath and the next breath and the next breath and what
(07:32):
it is that they did and what it is that I have done in order to manage to do that.
Brutal stories. and the beautiful meaning that we manage to make despite the
obstacles, plus an opportunity to bring it into the real.
I find that there are a wealth of therapeutic arts out there and ways that we
(07:58):
can get in touch with that inner spark that is able to hold on just one more day.
But some of the most potent ones for me continue to be those that ground it
in the body and in our tether to the earth itself.
And so my hope for this podcast is not just a container for storytelling and
(08:22):
attunement and co-regulation,
but then to take it a step further and offer tools, practices,
tips, and in some cases, even demonstrations of what that might feel like. Thank you.
For now, this will be in the audio format, but I see a lot of potential in the
(08:43):
video format specifically because it's so much easier to actually practice a
tool or something that's being suggested in real time when you can see people doing it on screen.
And I know that life is busy, and oftentimes for me, I'm listening to a podcast
while I'm driving, doing dishes, laundry.
(09:07):
But my invitation to you is, even if you're busy in the moment of listening
to it, circling back to the practices that actually resonate with you and trying
them in real time as you listen. See if it works.
It's all a great experiment that we're in. This is all one giant science lab
(09:28):
with a lot of spiritual witchy goodness mixed in for us to just be together
and not feel quite so alone.
Sometimes the episodes will be short and sweet.
Sometimes they'll be long. I make no promises about the consistency because,
(09:49):
P.S., I'm also an astrology nerd and I've got a Gemini stellium,
a lot of Libra, a lot of Leo, and a lot of Cancer in my chart.
So it's just going to be a mixed bag of all of the things. things
and this to me feels like
my practice of bringing it into
the real and into the body because not only
(10:10):
because but on the astrology tip I
have so very little earth in my chart that I do have to remind myself on a daily
basis that despite how strong and powerful my brain is that I do have to bring
it down into all the layers of my body and speak to my body in the the language that it is fluent in,
(10:32):
which is sensing and feeling and movement and rest.
Let's not forget rest. Real true rest, right?
A little bit about the title. I am very fond of playing with words and turning
them into something new and exciting and different and
(10:55):
something that sounds funny, something that feels good in my mouth and in my body.
It's been one of my favorite ways to express myself creatively and also to find my weird kin.
I'm fortunate to have family members who relish and revel in that as well.
(11:15):
And we have created dialects that go in many directions in this great country of ours,
in the various little pockets of offshoots of communities and cousins and friendships and lovers.
And there's so many people that I want to thank for their contributions to the
(11:39):
great language that is weirding-ness.
And one big shout out to my dear friend Anne Connors, who helped me co-create the word Brutiful.
And it just sort of happened organically, like often those words do.
And I'm not sure which one of us said it first or realized it first,
(12:01):
but that's a lot of what the weirding kinds of languaging is,
is just like smashing words together to make a point that couldn't possibly
be made without those two words being smashed together.
Other because sometimes the English language just doesn't have,
(12:21):
it fails me in my attempt to really get across what I'm trying to say.
And so that's what it feels like to me that the core point of life is.
It's not just about chasing some destination called happiness or once I get
through my healing journey, quote unquote,
(12:43):
I will arrive at XYZ destination point and none of these things that have challenged
me in the past will be part of my life.
And if you know anything about the cyclical reality...
Nature, of the healing process, and of the body itself. And we know that that's not true.
(13:04):
And so this is an attempt to embrace that life is both brutal and beautiful.
And putting too much of our attention on either one of those polarities,
we do so at our detriment and at our harm, at our stagnation.
But if we can find a way to embrace both sides and do our best to appreciate
(13:27):
what is showing up for us in the here and now without bypassing the grief that
is inherent when things do not go the way that we want them to.
I think there's something really powerful in that intersection.
I'm really excited about the conversations I already have scheduled and I'm
(13:49):
in the works of recording.
There's a lot of people on my list to reach out to to have conversations with
and it will be a work in progress.
I hope you will join me for the ride and I look forward to cultivating a container
(14:10):
with you that is strong enough to hold,
all of the brutality together as we weave more meaning of beauty together.
Thank you so much for listening. Thank you.
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