334 - Pesach Sheini (Part-3)

We've been discussing one of the most fundamental principles of the Torah – Teshuvah - the opportunity to rectify our mistakes, transgressions, and anything we may have done to distance ourselves from Hashem. Without Teshuvah, life can be very scary because there are many instructions Hashem has given us and due to our human limitations, we are bound to mess up. Sometimes, unintentionally, we may not have learnt the laws of a certain mitzvah sufficiently and we might therefore not perform the mitzvah correctly. And in the same vein, sometimes, our evil inclination might take over us and cause us to perform a transgression willingly, which of course has tremendous ramifications and can potentially cause a tremendous distance between us and Hashem. 

Without internalizing the opportunity to rectify our wrongdoings after performing a transgression, we can fall even deeper into the more serious transgression of feeling guilt and bad about ourselves, feeling unworthy of doing good things and being close to Hashem, which will therefore lead us, God forbid, to perform more transgressions. Therefore, it is absolutely vital for us to internalize the opportunity of Teshuvah. It doesn't matter what has been done. It is never too late to return to Hashem. What exactly does it mean to do Teshuvah? One might feel in order to gain forgiveness in Hashem's eyes. For that, surely I need years of repentance in order to be forgiven. Torah authorities explain that whilst there might be many levels to Teshuvah, simply speaking, Teshuvah is very easy. Teshuvah refers to the following. I did something wrong. I find the time now to be alone with Hashem. I acknowledge Hashem in my own words and tell Him what I did wrong. I assure Him that I'm going to do my best to not perform this transgression again. And if there is something practical to rectify, such as if somebody stole money, then of course one is required to return that money and rectify their transgression in a practical way. 

Once one has done that basic Teshuvah, which sometimes can take less than one minute, even when being done with sincerity, and one means what they're saying, one is finished the process and one is forgiven for their sin to the point that the Gemara says that when one repents and does Teshuvah out of their love for Hashem, one's transgression thereafter actually changes to a mitzvah. Now let us just digest that. It's not that Hashem clears away the transgression and now we're back to zero, but rather the transgression itself turns into a mitzvah and we actually get points for what previously was a minus. Now one might say, “when it comes to a transgression that I really didn't mean to do, or I just really messed up, but I know that I really will try my best not to do it again, then I can do Teshuvah because I can apologize to Hashem for transgressing and I can commit to Him that I will really sincerely do my best in future not to do so again. However, what about when it comes to a transgression which I am currently struggling with and performing constantly on a repeated basis?” 

Now again, of course, we need to make our maximum effort to not repeat the transgression. However, we are limited by our human limitations and therefore if we are currently struggling with a certain sin that we know we will repeat again, we nevertheless can and should do Teshuvah for what we did wrong. We can say, “Hashem, I am so sorry for speaking Lashon Hora today and Hashem, I really don't want to ever perform this sin ever again, but You and I know that I am really struggling with this sin at the moment. Please Hashem, can You help me that I shouldn't have to transgress again.” Once one has done that, let us not forget, as the Gemara says, one's Aveira actually turns to a mitzvah and that being the case, certainly there would be no place anymore for feeling guilt, for feeling unworthy. We are so privileged to have the constant opportunity to return to Hashem.