379 - Changed Your Mind?

Hashem runs the world exclusively, He does not need my help. Nevertheless, I have a commandment to perform the mitzvah of Hishtadlus, to make my own personal effort, although this might seem like an apparent contradiction. As discussed many times, if this is what Hashem commanded us, this is what we do. And the best advice of how to find out what our personal requirement should be, in terms of how much Hishtadlus we ought to make, is to talk to Hashem in our own personal words and ask Him for clarity and guidance.

There is a well-known story told about Rav Chaim Volazhinne, the main student of the Vilna Gaon. In times of old, it was a form of medicine and healing to place leeches over one's body. Rav Chaim Volazhinne was once seen with leeches placed over his body, and whilst wearing the leeches, he attended a Torah class by the Vilna Gaon, where one of the concepts that was discussed was how Hashem exclusively runs the world and if one internalizes this emunah, that Hashem exclusively runs every single detail in the world and doesn't need our help and Hishtadlus, then sometimes, if we have truly internalized this belief, we might be absolved from our obligation to perform Hishtadlus. And Rav Chaim Volazhinne was so inspired by hearing these words, that although he actually needed these leeches on his body for his health, he then and there decided to remove the leeches from his body, because he now felt no need to show a display of what might seem to be helping Hashem, because he had internalized with absolute clarity that Hashem exclusively is the one controlling every single detail about our health and He doesn't actually need our Hishtadlus. And at that point, because his emunah was so strong, he was now absolved of his obligation to make efforts about his health in this way. And later on, during the same day, Rav Chaim Volazhinne was seen wearing the leeches again and when asked, "didn't you mention earlier that you don't need those leeches anymore, because it was so clear and vivid to you that Hashem runs the world exclusively after we heard those words from the Vilna Gaon? So why are you wearing the leeches again?" And Rav Chaim replied, "earlier on, I was feeling so inspired by the words of the Vilna Gaon that Hashem exclusively runs every single detail in the world, it actually felt like a super absurdity for me to try and make any effort in an endeavor and pursuit of my health. However, now, a few hours later, I do not feel that same inspiration and clarity and although, of course, I know that Hashem runs the world exclusively, I nevertheless do not have that same level of absolute clarity of Ein Od Milvado that I achieved earlier today. And right now, I feel that I am not absolved of the mitzvah of Hishtadlus." 

To find the exact line in all the areas of our lives is so difficult. We are so privileged to be able to reach out to the One who created us. "Hashem, You are my personal Father, and You can give me my correct perspective. Please Hashem, show me the exact path that would be the ideal course for me to follow in my life."