Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome to Trauma
Talks.
My name is Russ.
I'm your host.
Happy Thanksgiving.
I'm so thankful that I get toshare this information with you
guys each week and hopefullymake a difference in the world.
I'm thankful for all of you forlistening, and my family.
Thank you for everything thatyou do to support me and love me
(00:21):
.
So today's episode we areinterviewing Chris Mamone.
Chris is a grief and acceptancecoach with acceptancecoachcom.
He is a fabulous guy.
He's got an amazing story ofhealing and how he went about it
(00:43):
and then some of the thingsthat he's kind of getting his
fingers into to to help othersdo it as well.
So, um, check them out and uh,hope you guys enjoy the
interview and we'll talk to youright afterwards.
Thanks, hey there everybody.
(01:10):
My name is Russ.
I'm a trauma-informed somaticlife coach with BrainSpot in
Colorado Springs and I've got aguest with me today, chris
Mamone.
Chris is an acceptance coachand the owner of
acceptancecoachcom.
He is a coach that worksdirectly with trauma.
His trauma specifically camefrom the stillbirth of his son
about two years ago, and I'lllet him talk about it and kind
(01:32):
of throw you guys someinformation.
Go ahead, chris, let's hearabout it.
Speaker 2 (01:36):
Hi everyone and
thanks for introducing me, Russ.
So a little bit about myself.
I'm an acceptance coach andmany of you are probably
wondering what that means.
Self-acceptance is a big partof my grief and healing journey
that I've had and it's somethingthat's helped me heal through
my traumas.
So I've started a life coachingbusiness, which has been a long
passion of mine for many years,and I decided to focus on
(01:58):
helping people discoverself-acceptance and to help them
heal through grief and loss andtrauma.
Speaker 1 (02:04):
Awesome.
Can you give us a little bit ofhistory, kind of what led you
to doing this?
Speaker 2 (02:11):
I definitely can.
So back in 2017, I was not in agreat place.
I was depressed with life and Iwas working a job I didn't like
, and things were just notworking the way I wanted to and
I'll get told I'm crazy for thisbut within a matter of about 15
minutes, I spent $3,000 andhired a coach, and I had no idea
(02:31):
what to expect.
I mean, I paid it and I said,holy crap, what am I doing?
Is this even going to work?
I don't even know what toexpect.
I had all those racing thoughtspeople get when they hear
coaching.
Little did I know, because I'vehad a coach now since then,
having somebody by your sidethat can hold you accountable,
that would be there to journeywith you and you can think about
it as mountain climbers thatare tied up on a rope together,
(02:53):
going up the mountain, travelingthat journey together.
A coach was exactly what Ineeded on my journey, and I was
able to pull out of a lot of badplaces in life and change my
mindset, learn how to heal fromthings in my past, and I became
freer because of that onedecision.
That really scared me in thatmoment, and so I'm forever
grateful for making that choice.
Speaker 1 (03:14):
Cool.
Was there specific things thatthis coach was doing with you
that had the big impact, or wasit just the fact that you had
like an outside set of eyes,kind of on what was going on and
helped you process things?
Speaker 2 (03:26):
So I will say this my
coach I ended up becoming
friends with, but he was thekind of guy that when we were on
a coaching call and I was goingthrough some hard times, it was
not a feel sorry for youconversation.
It was really we're going tolook at this for exactly what it
is not what you think it is andyou got to go do the hard work.
And so we had a lot of hardaccountability conversations and
I did a lot of uncomfortablethings that I didn't even know
(03:49):
what I was doing half the time.
But my coach would give medirection and give me advice and
give me counsel on what Ineeded to do and what steps I
needed to take.
And if I did have setbacks, hewas always there to say here's
where we're going to shiftcourse and work towards it.
Speaker 1 (04:03):
Nice, that's awesome.
We're going to shift course andwork towards it.
Nice, that's awesome.
So you had some losses over thelast four or five years.
Could you speak to that a bit?
Speaker 2 (04:12):
Definitely so.
My first real loss experiencewas pretty traumatic.
My grandfather had terminalcancer from about 2017.
He passed away in August 2020.
I actually relocated across thecountry the last year.
He was ill for work and whatnot.
And I came home because I got acall that he wasn't doing well,
(04:34):
and so I came home and, longstory short, he passed away in
my arms two days after I flewhome and I I'll just say that I
was very I've never experiencedanything that tragic before.
It really will reshape you as aperson if you experience that,
um.
But what happened basically atthat at that point is, um, I, I
(04:54):
went through a big depressionfor three or four months.
Uh, my grandfather was my dadand my grandpa.
I didn't have dad's picturegrowing up, um, and so I chose
in that moment after mygrandfather died, that I've said
this can either define me andbreak me, or I can say that
there's gifts, lessons andblessings in this moment that
happened to me, and so I choseto celebrate him every day in my
(05:17):
life and I always think abouthim.
I always, you know, when I dowoodworking, I'd always have him
on my mind.
So I chose to take thatterrible thing and make it a
blessing.
The next thing that I wentthrough is I lost my child to
stillborn in 2022.
And you know, my son was veryhealthy and he had a great
heartbeat and one day it juststopped and we still don't have
(05:40):
answers why it happened.
Speaker 1 (05:41):
You still don't to
this day.
Speaker 2 (05:42):
huh yeah, stillborn a
lot of people don't know
there's, huh yeah, stillborn.
A lot of people don't knowthere's just not a lot of causes
behind it.
The doctors can figure out whyit happens, um, and so the same
kind of thing that was hard forthat was I had to watch my wife
go through that process and thatwas really really hard.
Um, but holding my son.
What was kind of weird in thehospital was is it was a very
sad and very tragic thing to me,but I could not stop smiling
(06:05):
when I held my son.
For some reason, I felt atpeace and I don't know how to.
I don't know how to explainthat, but I felt so much, so
much love out of my child and,for those of you that are have
faith in religion, I really feltlike I got to touch a child who
is pure of love out of theuniverse They've not been
tainted by sin of the world andit's just.
(06:27):
It was a beautiful, beautiful,sad moment in my life and I was
faced with that same challengeagain of do I let this define me
and say that this horriblething happened and you know, do
I get upset and everything aboutit, or do I say that this had
meaning and purpose in my lifeand how can I celebrate my son
in my life.
And when I lost my child, I madethose choices a lot faster than
(06:50):
I did with my grandfatherpassing, but I did it because I
wanted.
I saw an innocent baby who'snot with us in the world today
and I said I've got to share hisstory with people because his
little life has so much moremeaning beyond where I'm at in
my life and he can help otherpeople going through the same
thing or going through somethingsimilar.
His story can help others.
(07:11):
And so I really focused on thesame thing that his life had
gifts and blessings and lessonsthat I needed to learn in life.
And ever since then, everythinggood that comes my way has been
a result of choices I made whenhe passed.
So I'm very grateful for him.
As much as I miss him and Ilove him a lot, I'm very
(07:31):
grateful for that experiencethat he gave me.
Speaker 1 (07:33):
Yeah, you know, my
brother had a similar experience
with a son that was miscarried.
He wasn't stillborn but he wasmiscarried, but very, very
impactful.
It really hit him pretty hardbut it sounds like you've turned
it into a really beautifulthing.
Can you, can you talk aboutkind of what you're doing now in
the trauma space and to helpothers through the similar
(07:54):
circumstances?
Speaker 2 (07:56):
Yeah, right now, what
I'm focused on doing for people
in my acceptance coachingbusiness is helping them work
through grief and trauma andloss, and something that is very
big in the loss community isthat we always say that there's
no such thing as moving on.
I hear that phrase a lot frompeople and I get irked in my
(08:16):
stomach all the time, because we, as humans, as emotions, and I
don't care if you're a man, awoman, whatever you may be, I
don't care because we all haveemotions and we have feelings
and we have sensitivities tothings that happen in our
experience of life, regardlessof who you are.
And so moving on is a reallyoutdated mentality that I don't
(08:37):
like because it hides thosepeople's feelings from
themselves.
And so my job as a coach is tosay there's moving forward in
grief, and not moving on, butmoving forward, and what that
means is is that that grief andthat loss will always be a part
of you.
It will never go away, andthose feelings are going to come
to you, by the way, in waves.
Um, I can tell you, uh, after Ilost my grandfather, even after
(09:01):
I lost my son, I can tell youthe weirdest thing after I lost
my kid was every 23rd of themonth.
His birthday was the 23rd ofSeptember every 23rd of the
month for about a year.
I would just feel angry for noreason.
I just I would be upset.
I couldn't be happy that dayand I never really figured it
out much until that year period.
I said that's my grief comingin, that's my grief talking to
(09:23):
me, that's my grief sayingthere's something you need to
hear right now, there'ssomething you need to feel and
you need to allow yourself spaceto feel those things.
And so when I would have thosewaves of moments of anger that
came, I knew it was the grieftalking.
I knew it was my love for myson coming out.
It wasn't anger, it was loveand grief for him.
And so if there's something Icould share with people
(09:44):
listening to this podcast andyou're going through grief or
trauma right now and you'retrying to figure out how to heal
that, you've got lots ofemotions going on or maybe you
have that where you're, you'refine for a week and then you
feel really angry the next dayKnow that that's your grief and
your love for something comingout.
It's not that you're angry oryou've got a problem of some
kind.
It's letting your grief comethrough and to feel that and
(10:06):
appreciate it in the moment,because it really is trying to
communicate with you and thatcan be a big step in your
healing journey yeah, and youmet.
Speaker 1 (10:14):
You mentioned your
wife earlier.
I'm assuming that your wife hasto be super supportive of
everything you're doing.
Right, she's been verysupportive of me.
Yeah, yeah.
So if you could verbalize orcontextualize kind of the
changes that you've undergoneover the course of the last two
years, how would you verbalizethat?
Speaker 2 (10:34):
I have.
That's a have.
That's a lot.
It's probably a lot for thispodcast, but I'll summarize this
.
When I lost my child, there wasa lot of things in my life that
weren't working, and that was alot of job stuff I had a lot of
.
I had toxic family members thatjust were not going to get.
They were not healthy for me tobe around.
That's another topic for traumahealing.
(10:55):
But but what I'll share with you, as I sat down one day when I
wasn't feeling the best and Isat down and said what don't I
like about my life right now?
What do I like?
What can I remove out of mylife that's not serving me, it
doesn't have a purpose, it putsme in a bad place, not in the
place I want to be.
Because of my son, I can tellyou this, I changed my life 180
(11:16):
degrees.
I can tell you, I learned a lotabout compassion.
I learned a lot about empathy.
I learned a lot about griefhealing.
I learned a lot about workingthrough trauma and I also
learned that our life and ourjourneys which is part of my
coaching business, by the way isa self-acceptance journey.
It's not linear, it's not aperfect process.
(11:37):
It's not a step one, two, three, four.
It can be a step, you know,step eight, step two, step four,
step five.
It's going to be, out of orderfor you and everybody's
different, and so I learned alot through that process and
I've changed as a person andI've actually become a.
I've become a great coachbecause of these experiences in
life, and I call them uh, youknow, for lack of better term, I
(11:59):
call them the gifts and crappywrapping paper.
Um, if you guys have evergotten a really good analogy.
Speaker 1 (12:04):
I like that.
Speaker 2 (12:06):
Yeah, I mean, if you
guys think about it for one
moment, you know think about a.
Christmas and, um, you know,don't trash your family members
or anything.
I'm just saying think about atime that you got a gift that
has a really weird graphingpaper, or it was a gift that you
were just like I don't knowwhat this is, like, what, why
think about that for a second,what that feeling is, and then
think about, wow, you know what.
That actually turned into afunny story years later, or, oh,
(12:28):
that I've had tied to actuallya really good time that I had
with that person.
So I call it the gift andcrappy wrapping paper because,
at face value, when we first seeit, we don't know what to think
we have the surge of emotionsgoing on and they kind of block
us from seeing the gifts, thelessons and the blessings.
Um, but later on we see it.
So I always say that thesethings happen with purpose and
(12:48):
they're happening for you.
They're not happening to you,they're happening for you and
they'll make you a better personon your path.
So it's good if you see thingsin that light and can get there.
You know, no matter what stageof grief you're in, you can
always choose to see that, Evenif it's a little bit or a lot,
it just depends on the person.
but that will give you thatspace, by the way, to actually
put purpose and meaning behindyour healing for you, not for
(13:11):
other people, but for you, andit will strengthen you on your
journey.
It's a beautiful process towatch.
Speaker 1 (13:18):
Yeah, and I mean the
loss of your son.
What was your son's name?
Uh, my son's name is Caden.
Caden, it's an awesome name.
I like that.
Um, I.
I would assume that at first,his loss probably caused a lot
of anger and a lot of um,probably, I would assume it
probably even probably createdsome issues with between you and
(13:38):
your wife.
How did you, how did you cometo terms with that and and find
figure out that that was a gift,rather than than being salty
over it for lack of better terms?
Speaker 2 (13:51):
So you know I'll be
open and candid with you guys,
cause that's just kind of thecoach that I am.
Um, there was a time when Ican't, when I was home after
that happened and I was I had awood shop at that time, by the
way and um, I had days where Iwas just I was flat out angry
about it, I was lost and I wasvery scared, very unsure.
Speaker 1 (14:10):
Um there, was a day.
Speaker 2 (14:11):
I grabbed a random
piece of wood.
I lived out in the woods, bythe way, in the middle of New
Hampshire, um, but long storyshort, I grabbed a piece of wood
.
I lived out in the woods, bythe way, in the middle of New
Hampshire, but long story short,I grabbed a piece of wood and
just beat my driveway to death.
One time.
For minutes, I mean, I just Icouldn't get it out of me other
than beating this piece of woodand where it finally broke for
me too, by the way, my momentjust being in full transparency.
I was building a wooden box forhis ashes one day in my shop and
(14:35):
the wood wasn't cooperating,let's put it that way um, and I
threw it on the ground.
I was just, I was crying, I wasupset, I just was saying, like,
why did this have to happen?
Anyway, I stepped on the boxand busted my foot and I ended
up in the hospital in the boot,uh, for six weeks.
And that's when it all.
And you know, I share this fora reason, not for the anger side
(14:55):
of it, but I share this becausethat was the release that
needed to come out.
Speaker 1 (14:59):
That was all the, all
the pent-up, pent-up energy
just going all that sympatheticenergy's got to get out of there
somehow, right?
Speaker 2 (15:06):
yeah and that was the
day, by the way, after I busted
my foot, came back from thehospital and fun stuff, I
finally said, okay, I've madepeace with this.
It happened.
I not happy about it, I'm notgoing to be happy about in the
future.
You know, I still.
I still, to this day, I go intothe store and see people with
their kids.
It's really hard for me If Ihear Christmas tunes in the
store.
(15:26):
It's really hard for me.
You know, sometimes I have toleave the store because of it.
But I learned that day, in thatmoment I said this anger that I
have right now is just raw loveand raw grief for my kid.
That's where it's coming from.
And and I have to learn inthose moments that when I feel
this way, I need to allow myselfspace to cry and feel these
(15:47):
things and say you're really sadand upset.
He's not here today.
You're upset about that andthat's okay.
If you got to walk out of thestore because something
triggered you, that's okay.
That's part of your process,it's part of your healing.
Speaker 1 (16:01):
Everybody heals
differently, right.
Speaker 2 (16:03):
Everybody heals
different.
I've run into people in mycoaching business, by the way,
that had a miscarriage a yearand a half, two years ago, just
kind of like when I lost my kidand they're all angry about
something that happened today,in this moment, and it happened
to be near the day that that allhappened years ago.
And I say there's somethingthat happened bigger, that's
(16:24):
going on, some deeper feelingyou might have that you might
not be expressing or want toexpress or share during this
coaching session, that maybe youneed to give yourself attention
to.
And I had one of my coachingclients tell me you know, chris,
I had a miscarriage a couple ofyears ago and it really hurt me
.
And I said, well, tell me aboutthat.
And they said, well, you knownow that we're talking about it.
(16:45):
It actually happened this week,in February, two years ago.
And I told my client, I said,girl, you need to heal right now
.
You need to give yourself spaceto feel that Like, let's forget
about, you know, whateverhappened with Joe Blow this week
.
You're actually feeling thisloss that you had and I don't
think somebody gave you thespace to talk about that, let
alone feel it.
(17:06):
And I said I can tell thatyou've got those emotions and,
as your coach, I want to be hereto give you that space to open
up and talk about these things.
And my my client cried on thephone for 10 minutes about it
and I gave her that space tofeel and and she felt a massive
like I said about smashing thatbox with my foot she got that
same release of energy from itand she said she said thank you
(17:30):
for giving me that space to feelthat I've never actually given
myself that opportunity to feelthat loss because of everything
else that was going on in thatmoment with that loss.
And she said I actually feelcalmer now but I also feel at
peace because I was able toaddress it.
And so that's the kind ofimpact I look for when I'm a
coach is to give people thatspace Because, like I said, a
(17:53):
lot of us move very fast in lifetoday and it's one of these
move on with things and we'vegot a lot of stuff in life to do
.
But at the end of the day,we're humans.
All of us are.
It doesn't matter who you are.
We're all humans.
We all have emotion, we allhave feelings and we have to
take time to deal with thosethings, and when I say deal with
(18:14):
, it's actually very healing foryou to feel those things.
Speaker 1 (18:18):
Well, it sounds like
you've definitely lived that,
that mantra of not moving on butmoving forward.
Um, you've gotten somecertifications in coaching.
Could you talk to a little, tous a little bit, about your
certifications and what you're?
Speaker 2 (18:31):
working on now?
Certainly Um.
So my right now I've got amaster life coach certification
that covers a lot of things, um,aspects of life like happiness
coaching, goal coaching.
Um, I have a professional lifecoach certification.
Um, right now, what I'm workingon is a certification for a
(18:51):
topic called NLP, which is neurolinguistic programming, and
it's a process in your brain tohelp you work through negative
emotions, hard emotions, griefand loss.
It's for lack of a better termtrapped up here.
I've been, I've been there, bythe way, with that, and so
something for me that I alwayslook for in my coaching practice
is that I'm never always goingto know answers.
(19:13):
I'm never going to knoweverything.
It's just too much stuff tofigure out.
But what?
I always look for is what can Iadd value for to my clients so
that I can better serve them?
And the biggest mantra in mybusiness is that I want to leave
people better than I found them, and so if you come to me with
grief or trauma, you're going tofind out that I want to be in
(19:35):
that space for a minute.
I want you to feel those things.
I want to help you work throughthem, and so, by adding a
neuro-linguistic program into myrepertoire of tools, it's going
to better allow me to servepeople from different areas of
grief and loss and trauma andeven self-acceptance, and so
that's one of them that I'mworking on right now, and I just
am always looking for newcertifications, because the more
(19:56):
knowledge I have, the more Ican pass on to other people, and
if I can leave you better thanI found you, I'm happy for you.
I'm really happy for you.
Speaker 1 (20:04):
Yeah, that's awesome.
No-transcript.
Speaker 2 (20:11):
It does.
I always laugh, because Iworked in the mortgage business
for eight years and I can tellthat in the mortgage business
you always have to take clockhour classes every single year,
and I was licensed in 23 statesto do business, and so I had
roughly about 45, 50 hours oftraining every single year,
(20:34):
single year.
And so coaching for me is thesame thing.
You know you can.
There's people out there thatget one certification and stay
there.
There's other people that saythis was just a stepping stone.
With this certification, what'sthe next thing I can do to
better serve my clients?
And I think if you stay in thatspace of continual learning,
not only will I grow from it, myclients will get better from it
, they'll grow and learn.
And you know the the nice parttoo about coaching and another
(20:55):
bigger reason I got into it andI'm helping people with grief
and loss is because you're goingto have a different story than
me and your.
Your path is going to bedifferent than mine, and so I
learn a lot from my clients.
Believe it or not, I learnedfrom them, and it's.
It's a beautiful thing in acoaching call when I when I'm
kind of like leading the callfor a minute, but then they step
(21:17):
up and share something.
I go, wow, I actually neverthought about that.
Or wow, that's actually areally cool story and I hope I
can share that with other people.
Speaker 1 (21:25):
Some of the most,
some of the most powerful
healing I've ever had has beenwhile coaching someone else.
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I love that.
That's what coaching should be.
Speaker 1 (21:33):
Yeah, absolutely Can
you.
We during our pre-talk beforerecording, we talked a little
bit about faith.
Could you talk a little bitabout how faith has kind of
steered your direction here?
Speaker 2 (21:46):
Definitely so I will
share upfront.
I would go to church onChristmas and Easter.
Growing up, my family wasn't upfront.
I would go to church onChristmas and Easter.
Growing up, my family wasn'tsuper religious, if you will, in
the sense of going to churchregularly.
When I moved back to NewHampshire I started dabbling in
faith a little bit more.
I started saying, okay, whydon't I open my horizons up and
(22:07):
explore what faith is?
Because it never really wasthere much for me growing up and
I always had one of these weirdthings like I wanted, like
proof of it.
I was one of those people thatwanted proof that God exists and
, and most of my friends wouldsay, god's always with you.
God always talks to you.
What are you?
What are you talking about?
And one and one of my friendswas a pastor of the church you
know down the town from where Iwas at, so I would always talk
(22:29):
to him about religion and we hadgreat conversations, and so one
of the funniest things I'llshare, where my faith got drawn
is that I was asking God for asign.
It was openly in the air.
I'd walk down my driveway inthe woods and I would just ask
God, give me a sign.
So in the middle of 2020 inApril, right in the middle of
COVID, and everything was goingcrazy.
We had this massive windstormlike 40, 50 mile an hour winds,
(22:52):
the power went out, the wholething and so, anyway, I'm
cleaning up this huge mess and Igo down at the end of my
driveway and there's a cross inthe trees, like a perfect
90-degree cross you'd see inchurch and I look up in the
trees just dumbfounded and inshock because I'm going.
What's actually happening rightnow?
I mean, I asked for a sign, butthis is a little too good to be
(23:12):
true and anyway, I can.
I never really have the rightway to explain it, but I would
talk to God all the time at theend of my driveway.
I'd go down there and I wouldsay thank you for all the good
things that would happen.
And if I was having struggleswith things, I would go down
there and talk to God and Iwould say you know, I'm really
struggling with this right now.
Or when I lost my son, I wentdown there and yelled at the
(23:36):
cross.
I yelled at God.
I was mad, I was angry andsomething that I found out in my
faith experience, you know, forme personally, I found out God
is there and he's been there bymy side the whole time.
I just have never opened mymind enough to allow him space
to come in as my faith journey.
And so when I sold my housefrom New Hampshire, something
(23:58):
didn't feel right with the firstrealtor.
I can't explain it, but it wasnot looking like a very good
situation.
And all of a sudden, thisrealtor that was local, she
lived not even 10 minutes frommy house.
Somehow we found her locallythrough something, and she came
by the house and it was a wholedifferent feel and vibe.
And the thing that she said tome that stood out the most was,
(24:20):
as she said, she looked at ourFacebook profiles and looked at
our house and tried to learnabout us before she met us.
And she said, after we told herwe lost our son.
She said I had a feeling I wassupposed to be here to help you
guys.
I don't really know why, but Iwas supposed to be here to help
you with us.
And she was a very faith person.
She goes to church reallyregularly, like every Sunday
(24:42):
kind of thing, and so when Ilook at what really bad thing
was about to happen with sellingmy house and then it just
mystically happened to work outbetter, we ended up ended up
finding buyers that um loved ourhouse for the purpose of what
it was.
They love the nature of theanimals and everything.
Um, she herself got ended upgetting us way more for the
(25:03):
house and we were going to thefirst realtor.
All these things just startedweirdly falling in line without
any kind of interaction, um, andso I kept talking to God
through that and I said what areyou trying to tell me right now
?
What do I need to be mindful ofor aware of, and what's going
to happen with things.
And it was always thiscomforting reassurance from him
(25:23):
when I talked to him at thecross, and it was always.
Things are going to be a littlemurky right now.
They're going to be a littleuncertain, and you're going to
move again.
You're going to start over againand you're actually going to go
after your coaching business.
You're going to actually builda new life.
You're going to get the thingsthat you want in life and I'm
going to give that to you.
But it's going to be on thisjourney and you've got to trust
me.
And so I told God I trust youon my path.
(25:46):
I'm not going to get in the wayanymore.
I'm going to let things come tome versus pushing them.
And ever since I've given myfaith to God, I will say that
not everything's peaches andrainbows.
I'll tell you, guys, thatsometimes God throws us a
challenge and you can choose tosee it as negative.
You can also choose to say thisis a test and God's testing you
to make sure that you're readyfor the next thing.
(26:07):
And I can say through myexperiences, that's what faith
has done for me.
Speaker 1 (26:13):
I read a book once.
I can't think of the title ofit off the top of my head, but
there was a statement in therethat said something to the
effect of never regret anythingthat's happened to you in your
life, because it created theperson that you are today.
So even the traumas that we gothrough, they serve a purpose in
our lives.
They really do yeah.
So are you primarily coachingnow or are you still working in
(26:35):
the woodworking space?
Speaker 2 (26:37):
I'm primarily
coaching right now.
I'm in the business.
I'm in the stage right now ofbuilding my coaching practice.
I've been working with peopleto build up some reviews and get
them results.
So I'm in that phase of thingsof coaching some people for free
right now, just to build up mytestimonials.
And my biggest thing is I'mjust looking for people to work
with right now and to havemeaningful conversations and I
(27:00):
just want to help people.
I don't know how to explain it,but I'm not a money-driven kind
of person.
I care more about helpingpeople because I was in this
place for the last two and ahalf three years that I just
wasn't able to find a jobbecause my mortgage industry got
decimated with stuff.
That's happened and I'll befair with you every time.
(27:21):
Even in mortgages, the biggestthing I learned was doing
mortgages was about 5% of what Idid.
What I really did as a loanofficer was I actually helped
people with life problems andthey would come to me with
everything from divorce to myhusband cheated on me, to we
don't have money for this orwe're moving across country or,
um.
You know, I've worked withpeople that were special forces
(27:43):
that couldn't tell me where theywere going and I had five kids
that got to relocate across thecountry.
I've dealt with a lot of thingsto help people through difficult
situations, and so, like I said, I care more about leaving
people better than I found them,and that's really my mission
and my purpose in life, andthat's what God showed me
through a lot of my traumas.
He said I'm the kind of guywho's here to help people, and
(28:06):
helping people in that capacityis the true beauty and the true
blessing of life, and so I'mpurposely living out that
passion right now and I I'venever been happier.
It's, it's a beautiful thing.
Speaker 1 (28:17):
That's an awesome
segue.
And asking you if people areinterested in working with you
how are they?
Speaker 2 (28:26):
how would they get
ahold of you?
So if you guys are interestedin working with me, I give a
free one hour long discoverycall for you guys to connect
with me.
You can find me on Instagram andyou guys can find me on
Facebook.
You can also find me atacceptancecoachcom.
You guys can reach out and booka call with me.
My biggest thing that I'll sharewith you guys of why I do a
free call up front is I want youto feel free to ask me any
(28:49):
questions you have aboutcoaching.
I want you to be able to feelcomfortable enough to get to
know me and make sure it's theright fit to work together, and
I want you to be able to sharewhat's going on in your life
right now.
I want you to feel free to sayI'm not happy with this, or
actually, things are goingreally well with this.
I'm just trying to get to thenext step and don't know how,
and I need some help, and and soI want to open up that space
(29:12):
for a free call for you to makesure that we're a good fit to
work together and your coachingis going to look the way you
want it to look, and to be ableto create that path for you to
get the results you're lookingfor.
Speaker 1 (29:23):
Awesome, and I'll
share a link to your website in
the description and tag you onFacebook when I post this on
Facebook for the link for thepodcast, so people can get all
of you that way.
Chris, it's been a pleasure totalk to you, man.
You got a lot going on.
Speaker 2 (29:39):
I'm excited to see
what you do next.
Yeah, thank you, russ.
I appreciate having theopportunity to connect with you
today.
I'm looking forward to futurecollaborations with you Awesome.
Speaker 1 (29:48):
Hey, if you don't
mind, I like to end all of my
episodes with a quick exercisefor people to to of my episodes
with a quick exercise for peopleto help ground themselves.
This is a different topic thanwe normally cover.
You know, we cover a lot ofbetrayal trauma, a lot of
childhood trauma, narcissisticabuse, those sorts of things.
Grief trauma is not somethingwe've really touched on, so I
would imagine there's probablysome people out there listening
(30:08):
that could be triggered.
So if you don't mind workingwith me, man, I'd love to take
them through an exercise thatcan kind of help them ground and
get themselves de-triggered.
Yeah, let's do that.
Okay, awesome.
So this is a somatic exercise.
You guys can all do this withme.
If you just kind of cross yourarms across your chest onto your
shoulders and just tap back andforth at whatever speed you
(30:32):
feel like is comfortable, forth,at whatever speed you feel like
is comfortable, and then justglance around the room and pick
out three things that are whiteFor me it's my ring light, the
light switch and my keyboard andwhile you're doing that, start
focusing your attention on yourbreath.
(30:53):
And while you're doing that,start focusing your attention on
your breath.
How long is your in-breath?
How long is your out-breath?
Are you feeling anything inyour stomach or chest?
Once you identify whateverfeeling you might be feeling in
your stomach or chest it couldbe a tightness in your chest, it
(31:16):
could be a drop in bloodpressure, it could be a
tightness or twisting in yourstomach Just focus on it and
then, with about 20% of yourattention, change your pattern
of breath.
Breathe in for five seconds,hold it for two, breathe out for
six to eight seconds and justfeel your seat, feel your feet
(32:06):
on the floor, feel thetemperature of the air.
When we're present, we'reconnected.
When we're connected, we'resafe.
Chris, thanks so much forjoining me, man, it's been a
blessing to have you on.
Hey, thank you so much, russ.
All right, we'll talk soon,thank you.
So I hope you guys enjoyed thatinterview as much as I enjoyed
(32:28):
doing it.
Uh, chris is a great guy.
He's got a heck of a story manand and you know, we don't talk
a lot about grief trauma on thischannel.
We talk a lot about childhoodtrauma and relationship trauma,
narcissistic abuse, those typesof things, but it's very rare.
I don't think we've ever spokenabout grief trauma so and it's
(32:49):
a real thing.
I mean, people can betraumatized to the nth degree by
the death of a loved one, evena loved one who's very old.
So you know, it goes back tothat whole trauma backpack,
right, you never know how muchtrauma someone is carrying or
what type of trauma someone'scarrying or how it's going to
(33:11):
affect them.
So that was a great interviewcarrying or how it's going to
affect them.
So that was a great interview.
If you guys are interested inchecking out Chris, chris can be
found at acceptancecoachcom.
Thanks again for coming andchecking us out.
If you are a new listener,thank you so much for joining us
.
I hope you guys find a placehere that's safe, that you can
explore these things.
And if you are a regularlistener, thank you again for
(33:34):
coming back once again to listento me of all people.
So thanks again, guys.
We'll talk to you next week.