How Women Can Disappear In Public (4 Techniques)

Four field-tested tricks whisper to the world, “Nothing to see here.” Master these, and you’ll move through the world like vapor. Becoming what is called in prepper circles, “The Gray Man.” Listen to see how this works.

I have an older episode on this topic if you would like to check it out at: https://mcdn.podbean.com/mf/web/g7uzb9atatkmzwt9/ULP_Podcast_Ep6_S2_Sixteen.mp3

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Episode Transcript

Lynn Jordan: Four field tested tricks whisper to the world. (00:00):
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Lynn Jordan: "Nothing to see here," master these and you'll move through (00:03):
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Lynn Jordan: the world like vapor. (00:06):
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Lynn Jordan: Becoming what is called in prepper circles. (00:07):
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Lynn Jordan: The gray man. (00:10):
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Lynn Jordan: Listen to see how this works. (00:11):
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Lynn Jordan: Hi. I'm the urban lady prepper. (00:14):
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Lynn Jordan: I help single moms and solo (00:16):
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Lynn Jordan: women with practical emergency (00:18):
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Lynn Jordan: preparedness. (00:19):
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Lynn Jordan: But of course, all are welcome to be better prepared for (00:20):
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Lynn Jordan: whatever happens next. (00:23):
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Lynn Jordan: Picture this you step off a (00:26):
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Lynn Jordan: packed subway car, shoulder to (00:28):
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Lynn Jordan: shoulder with two hundred (00:29):
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Lynn Jordan: strangers, and within 10s, every (00:30):
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Lynn Jordan: set of eyes has already made a (00:33):
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Lynn Jordan: snap judgment. (00:35):
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Lynn Jordan: Are you easy money, a harmless nobody, or maybe a problem (00:36):
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Lynn Jordan: they'd rather just avoid? (00:40):
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Lynn Jordan: In that blink and you missed it (00:42):
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Lynn Jordan: moment, you either seamlessly (00:43):
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Lynn Jordan: fade into the background, (00:45):
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Lynn Jordan: becoming part of the urban hum, (00:47):
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Lynn Jordan: or you land squarely on (00:48):
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Lynn Jordan: somebody's radar. (00:50):
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Lynn Jordan: Remembered for some reason you didn't even intend. (00:51):
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Lynn Jordan: Our modern world constantly screams for attention and in (00:54):
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Lynn Jordan: turn demands we give it back. (00:57):
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Lynn Jordan: But what if you could opt out? (00:59):
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Lynn Jordan: What if you could move through (01:01):
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Lynn Jordan: any situation, any crowd, any (01:03):
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Lynn Jordan: crisis with an almost (01:04):
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Lynn Jordan: supernatural ability to remain (01:06):
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Lynn Jordan: unnoticed, unremembered and (01:08):
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Lynn Jordan: utterly free? (01:09):
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Lynn Jordan: Well, today I'm handing you the four field tested tricks that (01:12):
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Lynn Jordan: whisper to the world. (01:15):
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Lynn Jordan: Nothing to see here. (01:16):
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Lynn Jordan: These aren't about hiding. (01:18):
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Lynn Jordan: They're about blending. (01:19):
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Lynn Jordan: About becoming so unremarkable (01:20):
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Lynn Jordan: that you're effectively (01:22):
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Lynn Jordan: invisible. (01:23):
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Lynn Jordan: Master these and you'll move (01:24):
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Lynn Jordan: through the world not as a (01:25):
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Lynn Jordan: target, but as an observer, (01:27):
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Lynn Jordan: keeping every option open like (01:28):
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Lynn Jordan: vapor. (01:30):
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Lynn Jordan: It's not about paranoia. (01:31):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about power. (01:33):
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Lynn Jordan: The power of choice. (01:34):
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Lynn Jordan: The power of optionality. (01:35):
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Lynn Jordan: Becoming what is called in prepper circles. (01:37):
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Lynn Jordan: The gray man. (01:39):
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Lynn Jordan: Skill one kill the silhouette. (01:41):
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Lynn Jordan: Most people think blending in (01:44):
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Lynn Jordan: starts and ends with the drab (01:45):
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Lynn Jordan: hoodie. (01:47):
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Lynn Jordan: They grab the nearest gray (01:47):
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Lynn Jordan: sweatshirt and figure they're (01:49):
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Lynn Jordan: good. (01:50):
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Lynn Jordan: But the real work, the fundamental job, starts with (01:51):
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Lynn Jordan: erasing the very outline that human brains instinctively use (01:54):
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Lynn Jordan: for quick threat sorting. (01:57):
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Lynn Jordan: Think about it. (01:59):
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Lynn Jordan: Our brains are incredibly pattern matching machines were (02:00):
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Lynn Jordan: wired to spot the unusual the tallest crest in the crowd, the (02:03):
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Lynn Jordan: brightest splash of color, the sharpest, most defined edge. (02:07):
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Lynn Jordan: These are signals. (02:11):
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Lynn Jordan: And when you're trying to be a ghost, signals are your enemy. (02:12):
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Lynn Jordan: So your first mission shrink your visual signature. (02:17):
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Lynn Jordan: This means embracing mid-tone layers charcoal grays, dusty (02:20):
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Lynn Jordan: olives, muted blues, faded navy. (02:24):
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Lynn Jordan: These aren't just colors. (02:27):
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Lynn Jordan: They're non-colors designed not (02:29):
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Lynn Jordan: to reflect light or draw the (02:31):
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Lynn Jordan: eye. (02:32):
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Lynn Jordan: Avoid anything with high (02:33):
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Lynn Jordan: contrast or stark patterns and (02:35):
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Lynn Jordan: logos. (02:37):
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Lynn Jordan: Oh, logos are billboards. (02:38):
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Lynn Jordan: A three inch sports brand (02:39):
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Lynn Jordan: emblazoned on your chest isn't (02:41):
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Lynn Jordan: just a fashion statement, it's a (02:42):
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Lynn Jordan: memory hook, a piece of (02:44):
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Lynn Jordan: information someone can recall (02:46):
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Lynn Jordan: later. (02:47):
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Lynn Jordan: Keep logos dead. (02:48):
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Lynn Jordan: Center small. (02:49):
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Lynn Jordan: Or better yet, gone entirely if you must have one, ensure its (02:50):
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Lynn Jordan: subtle, monochromatic and blends into the fabric. (02:54):
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Lynn Jordan: Fit matters even more than color, believe it or not. (02:58):
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Lynn Jordan: Too tight. (03:02):
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Lynn Jordan: and you're advertising your physique, potentially making (03:03):
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Lynn Jordan: yourself a target or simply memorable, too baggy and you (03:05):
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Lynn Jordan: flap like a flag in the wind, creating unnecessary movement (03:08):
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Lynn Jordan: and drawing attention. (03:11):
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Lynn Jordan: Your goal is the anonymous (03:13):
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Lynn Jordan: middle, the cut you see on nine (03:14):
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Lynn Jordan: out of ten commuters (03:16):
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Lynn Jordan: comfortable, functional, and (03:18):
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Lynn Jordan: utterly forgettable. (03:19):
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Lynn Jordan: This isn't about being (03:21):
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Lynn Jordan: unfashionable, it's about being (03:22):
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Lynn Jordan: functionally invisible. (03:23):
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Lynn Jordan: Finally, this is a subtle but crucial point break up the (03:26):
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Lynn Jordan: distinct head and shoulders shape that predators both (03:29):
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Lynn Jordan: literal and metaphorical. (03:32):
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Lynn Jordan: Track. (03:33):
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Lynn Jordan: A thin, neutral beanie or a low (03:34):
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Lynn Jordan: profile ball cap rounds off the (03:36):
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Lynn Jordan: crown of your head, removes your (03:38):
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Lynn Jordan: hair color from the equation, (03:40):
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Lynn Jordan: and subtly alters your overall (03:41):
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Lynn Jordan: profile. (03:43):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about disrupting the easy read. (03:45):
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Lynn Jordan: Before you step out, do a quick mirror check. (03:47):
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Lynn Jordan: Can you describe yourself in three words? (03:49):
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Lynn Jordan: Red shoes, camo pack, yellow stripe? (03:51):
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Lynn Jordan: If so, then so can the guy who (03:54):
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Lynn Jordan: just decided you're worth (03:56):
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Lynn Jordan: following. (03:57):
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Lynn Jordan: Strip those details. (03:58):
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Lynn Jordan: Keep stripping them until you're just a grayish blur. (04:00):
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Lynn Jordan: A momentary flicker in someone's (04:03):
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Lynn Jordan: peripheral vision that (04:04):
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Lynn Jordan: immediately gets discarded as (04:06):
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Lynn Jordan: irrelevant. (04:07):
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Lynn Jordan: Skill two dial down the noise. (04:09):
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Lynn Jordan: Sound, my friends, is the forgotten fingerprint. (04:12):
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Lynn Jordan: It's a constant broadcast of information you probably don't (04:15):
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Lynn Jordan: even realize you're sending. (04:18):
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Lynn Jordan: Think about it. (04:20):
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Lynn Jordan: Those expensive clip clop dress shoes on concrete, they carry (04:20):
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Lynn Jordan: farther than a phone conversation in a quiet room, (04:24):
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Lynn Jordan: keys jingling like sleigh bells in your pocket. (04:27):
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Lynn Jordan: That's not just noise. (04:30):
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Lynn Jordan: It's a siren song. (04:31):
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Lynn Jordan: Screaming, distracted civilian, ripe for a bump and grab. (04:32):
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Lynn Jordan: These aren't just sounds. (04:36):
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Lynn Jordan: They're cues. (04:37):
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Lynn Jordan: Signals that tell the world you're present. (04:38):
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Lynn Jordan: You're here. (04:40):
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Lynn Jordan: And potentially you're vulnerable. (04:41):
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Lynn Jordan: Ghosts. (04:45):
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Lynn Jordan: True ghosts of the urban landscape. (04:45):
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Lynn Jordan: Move on felt soles. (04:47):
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Lynn Jordan: They eliminate unnecessary noise. (04:49):
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Lynn Jordan: So swipe out that shiny metal (04:51):
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Lynn Jordan: key ring for a quiet paracord (04:53):
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Lynn Jordan: coil, or trade your bulky (04:54):
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Lynn Jordan: leather wallet for a soft nylon (04:56):
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Lynn Jordan: cardholder. (04:58):
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Lynn Jordan: The difference in the sound (04:59):
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Lynn Jordan: signature is immediate and (05:00):
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Lynn Jordan: profound. (05:01):
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Lynn Jordan: It's not about silence. (05:02):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about blending into the (05:04):
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Lynn Jordan: ambient noise, not contributing (05:05):
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Lynn Jordan: to it with sharp, identifiable (05:07):
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Lynn Jordan: sounds. (05:09):
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Lynn Jordan: The same principle applies to your bags. (05:10):
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Lynn Jordan: Those plastic buckles on your backpack. (05:12):
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Lynn Jordan: They clack and rattle with every step. (05:14):
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Lynn Jordan: Magnetic snaps, on the other hand. (05:16):
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Lynn Jordan: Hush. (05:18):
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Lynn Jordan: Choose wisely. (05:19):
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Lynn Jordan: Once you really understand this, walk past a busy café patio and (05:21):
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Lynn Jordan: just listen to the footsteps. (05:25):
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Lynn Jordan: Notice the ones that stand out. (05:27):
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Lynn Jordan: The heavy stompers, the (05:29):
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Lynn Jordan: scoffers, the ones with a (05:30):
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Lynn Jordan: distinct rhythm. (05:32):
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Lynn Jordan: Then notice the ones you don't notice. (05:33):
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Lynn Jordan: That's the cadence you want. (05:36):
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Lynn Jordan: That's the goal. (05:37):
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Lynn Jordan: Practice what I call the five second shuffle. (05:39):
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Lynn Jordan: It's not some spy movie (05:41):
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Lynn Jordan: tiptoeing that makes you look (05:43):
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Lynn Jordan: suspicious. (05:44):
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Lynn Jordan: It's a mindful way of walking. (05:45):
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Lynn Jordan: Slow your roll. (05:47):
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Lynn Jordan: Just a fraction. (05:48):
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Lynn Jordan: Let your foot kiss the ground. (05:49):
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Lynn Jordan: Heel to toe deliberately, with no scuffing or slapping. (05:50):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about deleting the clear audio cue that turns heads that (05:54):
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Lynn Jordan: draws a second glance. (05:58):
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Lynn Jordan: Once the ears stop noticing you. (05:59):
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Lynn Jordan: Once you're no longer a distinct audio event, the eyes almost (06:01):
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Lynn Jordan: always follow suit. (06:05):
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Lynn Jordan: You become part of the background hum. (06:06):
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Lynn Jordan: Unheard. (06:08):
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Lynn Jordan: Unseen. (06:09):
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Lynn Jordan: Now, I'm not going to lie, this (06:11):
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Lynn Jordan: is something that takes time (06:12):
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Lynn Jordan: because how we walk is very (06:14):
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Lynn Jordan: distinct and some of us kind of (06:16):
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Lynn Jordan: clomp around and I'm one of (06:18):
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Lynn Jordan: them. (06:19):
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Lynn Jordan: So it does take practice, but it's worth doing. (06:20):
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Lynn Jordan: Skill three control the echo you leave behind every time you pay (06:25):
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Lynn Jordan: with a phone, tap a transit card or check in online. (06:29):
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Lynn Jordan: You're not just making a (06:33):
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Lynn Jordan: transaction, You're scattering (06:33):
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Lynn Jordan: digital breadcrumbs. (06:35):
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Lynn Jordan: And let me tell you, those breadcrumbs can be baked into a (06:37):
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Lynn Jordan: very detailed, potentially very problematic loaf named target. (06:39):
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Lynn Jordan: In our hyperconnected world, true invisibility isn't just (06:43):
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Lynn Jordan: about what people see or hear, it's about what the algorithms (06:47):
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Lynn Jordan: and data brokers can piece together about you. (06:50):
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Lynn Jordan: Let's start with the small stuff the seemingly innocuous habits (06:53):
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Lynn Jordan: your contactless payment beeps. (06:57):
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Lynn Jordan: Disable them. (06:59):
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Lynn Jordan: That little chime is an audio marker. (07:00):
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Lynn Jordan: When possible, use anonymized (07:02):
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Lynn Jordan: transit passes or cash for small (07:04):
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Lynn Jordan: purchases. (07:06):
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Lynn Jordan: Avoid linking everything to your primary identity, and for (07:07):
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Lynn Jordan: regular errands like grocery shopping, try to rotate between (07:11):
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Lynn Jordan: stores or vary your schedule so no single cashier or (07:14):
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Lynn Jordan: surveillance system sees you on a predictable recurring loop. (07:17):
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Lynn Jordan: Predictability is the enemy of the ghost. (07:20):
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Lynn Jordan: Need a loyalty card for a discount? (07:23):
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Lynn Jordan: Use a common last name and a secondary burner email account. (07:25):
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Lynn Jordan: You only check once a week. (07:28):
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Lynn Jordan: This isn't about being deceitful. (07:30):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about protecting your (07:32):
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Lynn Jordan: privacy by making yourself a (07:33):
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Lynn Jordan: less attractive, less defined (07:35):
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Lynn Jordan: data point. (07:37):
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Lynn Jordan: Then there's the big one your digital footprint. (07:38):
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Lynn Jordan: I know I've been covering this a (07:41):
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Lynn Jordan: lot lately, but post nothing (07:42):
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Lynn Jordan: real time. (07:44):
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Lynn Jordan: A delayed photo shared hours, (07:45):
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Lynn Jordan: even a day later blurs your (07:47):
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Lynn Jordan: trail. (07:49):
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Lynn Jordan: That selfie from your favorite coffee shop. (07:50):
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Lynn Jordan: It tells people exactly where you are right now. (07:52):
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Lynn Jordan: Wait. (07:55):
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Lynn Jordan: Wait until after you've left until the moment has passed. (07:56):
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Lynn Jordan: If you absolutely must carry tech and let's be honest, pretty (08:00):
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Lynn Jordan: much all of us do. (08:03):
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Lynn Jordan: Now set your Bluetooth and Wi-Fi (08:04):
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Lynn Jordan: to manual, constant pings from (08:06):
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Lynn Jordan: your device, searching for (08:09):
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Lynn Jordan: networks are breadcrumbs of (08:10):
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Lynn Jordan: flashing lights. (08:11):
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Lynn Jordan: Broadcasting your presence to anyone with the right scanner. (08:12):
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Lynn Jordan: Geolocation on your phone? (08:15):
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Lynn Jordan: Turn it off for most apps, and certainly for your camera. (08:17):
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Lynn Jordan: Every picture you take could be (08:20):
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Lynn Jordan: tagging your exact location, (08:22):
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Lynn Jordan: creating a digital map of your (08:23):
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Lynn Jordan: life. (08:25):
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Lynn Jordan: And ladies, we have to be very careful with things like that. (08:26):
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Lynn Jordan: Remember, the goal here isn't (08:30):
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Lynn Jordan: some tinfoil hat wearing off (08:32):
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Lynn Jordan: grid fantasy. (08:34):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about making the data brokers, the opportunistic (08:35):
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Lynn Jordan: marketers, and anyone else trying to profile. (08:38):
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Lynn Jordan: You work so incredibly hard that they give up. (08:40):
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Lynn Jordan: They'll move on to chase a louder, shinier, easier prey. (08:43):
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Lynn Jordan: You want to be the fuzzy, incomplete data set that isn't (08:47):
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Lynn Jordan: worth the effort. (08:49):
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Lynn Jordan: Skill four master social grayness. (08:51):
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Lynn Jordan: This is where most quote unquote blend in guides hit a wall, and (08:54):
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Lynn Jordan: frankly, where the pros truly separate from the wannabes. (08:58):
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Lynn Jordan: You can dress like wallpaper, you can move silently, and you (09:01):
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Lynn Jordan: can scramble your digital echo, but one loud opinion in a queue (09:04):
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Lynn Jordan: when overly familiar gesture, one misplaced glance and boom, (09:08):
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Lynn Jordan: you're neon again. (09:12):
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Lynn Jordan: You're remembered. (09:13):
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Lynn Jordan: You're no longer a ghost. (09:14):
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Lynn Jordan: Your mouth, your eyes, your posture. (09:16):
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Lynn Jordan: These are powerful tools for (09:19):
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Lynn Jordan: either drawing or deflecting (09:20):
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Lynn Jordan: attention. (09:22):
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Lynn Jordan: First, train your mouth to mirror the local tempo. (09:23):
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Lynn Jordan: Speak at the average volume for your environment. (09:26):
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Lynn Jordan: If everyone else is quiet, you're quiet. (09:29):
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Lynn Jordan: If it's a bustling market, you (09:32):
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Lynn Jordan: can be a bit louder, but never (09:33):
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Lynn Jordan: the loudest. (09:35):
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Lynn Jordan: Keep your answers one beat shorter than feels natural and (09:35):
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Lynn Jordan: end sentences on a down note. (09:39):
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Lynn Jordan: People remember peaks the (09:41):
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Lynn Jordan: passionate outburst, the (09:42):
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Lynn Jordan: dramatic statement. (09:44):
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Lynn Jordan: The sudden laugh. (09:45):
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Lynn Jordan: Don't supply them. (09:46):
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Lynn Jordan: Aim for conversational neutrality. (09:47):
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Lynn Jordan: Eye contact. (09:50):
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Lynn Jordan: This is crucial. (09:51):
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Lynn Jordan: A sustained gaze is an (09:52):
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Lynn Jordan: invitation, a A challenge or a (09:54):
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Lynn Jordan: sign of intense interest for the (09:56):
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Lynn Jordan: ghost. (09:58):
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Lynn Jordan: It's a liability. (09:58):
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Lynn Jordan: Practice the one count. (10:00):
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Lynn Jordan: Glance. (10:01):
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Lynn Jordan: Meet eyes briefly, then (10:02):
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Lynn Jordan: immediately glance past the (10:03):
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Lynn Jordan: shoulder of the person you're (10:05):
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Lynn Jordan: interacting with, with the shift (10:06):
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Lynn Jordan: of your focus to a neutral (10:07):
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Lynn Jordan: point. (10:09):
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Lynn Jordan: Break that connection quickly. (10:09):
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Lynn Jordan: Nervous chatter. (10:11):
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Lynn Jordan: That's a massive giveaway, signaling discomfort or a desire (10:12):
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Lynn Jordan: to be noticed. (10:16):
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Lynn Jordan: Instead, cultivate the three breath pause before responding. (10:17):
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Lynn Jordan: This buys you precious time to formulate a neutral, concise (10:21):
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Lynn Jordan: answer, and it smothers the impulse to overshare or blurt (10:24):
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Lynn Jordan: out something memorable. (10:27):
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Lynn Jordan: Master the art of the neutral nod. (10:30):
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Lynn Jordan: It's a powerful tool that allows you to agree, or at least (10:32):
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Lynn Jordan: acknowledge, without adding fuel to a conversation. (10:35):
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Lynn Jordan: It says, I hear you without (10:38):
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Lynn Jordan: committing you to a strong (10:41):
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Lynn Jordan: opinion. (10:41):
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Lynn Jordan: It keeps you in the background. (10:42):
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Lynn Jordan: Finally, learn the local currency of personal space and (10:44):
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Lynn Jordan: match it exactly. (10:47):
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Lynn Jordan: In some cultures, standing an arm's length away is the norm. (10:49):
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Lynn Jordan: In others, it's half an arm. (10:52):
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Lynn Jordan: Stand too close and you're aggressive. (10:54):
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Lynn Jordan: Too far and you're aloof. (10:56):
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Lynn Jordan: Get it just right and you become part of the human landscape. (10:58):
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Lynn Jordan: Do all of this right, and even (11:02):
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Lynn Jordan: the most chatty neighbor will (11:03):
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Lynn Jordan: walk away from a conversation (11:04):
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Lynn Jordan: with you, unable to describe (11:06):
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Lynn Jordan: your accent, your specific (11:07):
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Lynn Jordan: opinions, or even the color of (11:09):
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Lynn Jordan: your eyes. (11:10):
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Lynn Jordan: You're there, but you're not there. (11:11):
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Lynn Jordan: Quick favor if you've ever felt that prickle on the back of your (11:15):
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Lynn Jordan: neck, that gut feeling that trouble might be brewing and (11:17):
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Lynn Jordan: wished you knew how to just vanish before it locked on, then (11:20):
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Lynn Jordan: hit that like button. (11:24):
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Lynn Jordan: It tells YouTube to show this to (11:25):
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Lynn Jordan: more people who need these (11:27):
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Lynn Jordan: skills, and drop your best (11:28):
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Lynn Jordan: stealth tip in the comments (11:30):
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Lynn Jordan: below. (11:31):
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Lynn Jordan: I read every single one and am always sharpening the toolkit. (11:32):
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Lynn Jordan: In conclusion, being a ghost (11:36):
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Lynn Jordan: isn't about paranoia or living (11:38):
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Lynn Jordan: in fear. (11:40):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about optionality. (11:40):
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Lynn Jordan: It's about regaining a degree of control in a world that (11:42):
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Lynn Jordan: constantly tries to dictate your presence and attention, erase (11:45):
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Lynn Jordan: your distinct silhouette and you become truly overlooked. (11:48):
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Lynn Jordan: Mute your noise and you become unheard. (11:51):
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Lynn Jordan: Blending into the ambient (11:54):
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Lynn Jordan: symphony of life, scramble your (11:55):
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Lynn Jordan: digital echo and you become (11:57):
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Lynn Jordan: untraceable, a less attractive (11:59):
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Lynn Jordan: target for those who profit from (12:01):
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Lynn Jordan: your data. (12:02):
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Lynn Jordan: Soften your social edges and you (12:03):
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Lynn Jordan: become forgotten, free from the (12:05):
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Lynn Jordan: burden of being remembered or (12:06):
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Lynn Jordan: profiled. (12:08):
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Lynn Jordan: Stack these four powerful layers and you move through the world (12:10):
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Lynn Jordan: with a genuine superpower. (12:13):
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Lynn Jordan: The power of choice. (12:14):
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Lynn Jordan: The choice to be seen or not. (12:16):
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Lynn Jordan: The choice to engage or merely observe. (12:18):
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Lynn Jordan: The choice to be a target or to be free. (12:21):
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Lynn Jordan: Don't try to master all of them at once. (12:24):
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Lynn Jordan: Pick one skill this week. (12:26):
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Lynn Jordan: Maybe swap your bright sneakers for neutral lows. (12:28):
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Lynn Jordan: Or finally kill that key jingle. (12:30):
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Lynn Jordan: Watch how quickly people stop clocking you. (12:33):
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Lynn Jordan: How the casual glances fade. (12:35):
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Lynn Jordan: How you start to feel a subtle shift in your presence. (12:37):
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Lynn Jordan: These are skills that you want to start working on sooner (12:40):
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Lynn Jordan: rather than later. (12:42):
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Lynn Jordan: Judging by the current environment we're in politically (12:43):
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Lynn Jordan: in the United States. (12:46):
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Lynn Jordan: So start practicing and you will begin to feel more and more (12:48):
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Lynn Jordan: comfortable with it. (12:52):
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Lynn Jordan: Thanks for listening and stay safe out there. (12:54):
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Lynn Jordan: Until next time. (12:56):
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Lynn Jordan: This is the urban prepper signing off. (12:57):
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