Comedy, Community, and the Power of Love with Laydee Jay

Comedy, Community, and the Power of Love with Laydee Jay

In this engaging episode, Laydee Jay, a vibrant comedian from California now making waves in Utah, joins the host to dive into the world of comedy and community. The discussion explores the unique dynamics of the Comedy Rumble, where Laydee Jay shares her experiences and insights on how comedy can serve as a bridge for cultural understanding and community building.

The conversation delves into Laydee Jay's journey into comedy, highlighting her transition from a self-driven performer to a community-focused artist. They discuss the importance of creating inclusive spaces in the comedy scene, the challenges and rewards of performing in front of diverse audiences, and the transformative power of laughter in addressing complex societal issues.

Laydee Jay and the host reflect on their shared experiences in the Comedy Rumble, emphasizing the value of building a supportive community where comedians can hone their craft and grow together. They also touch on broader themes such as faith, self-love, and the role of comedy in fostering understanding and empathy in a divided world.

00:00 This program is presented by Ride the Wave Media

00:24 What are you thankful for right now

03:57 Lady J and I connected early on in the Comedy Rumble experience

07:21 Tell me a little bit about what your experience has been on the Rumble

09:46 The Rumble has been a really beautiful, um, kind of passion project for me

13:36 The first year I was in comedy, um, I really didn't care

18:39 Ryan: Comedians can approach systemic racism with humor, not condescension

23:18 Q: People in Utah are afraid of being perceived as racist

27:03 Do unto others as you would yourself. That saying. Um, do what?

31:15 I think I can be funny with blackness in a way that feels disarming

35:45 One of the most thrilling things about working the Rumble is being able to gather

39:26 Kay made a shift with his comedy where it's not about me

43:37 Christian tradition says God gives himself entirely, and through that he is glorified

49:12 There's a shift in confidence when you discover your true self

54:22 It is so much more fun to win things with people than to win alone

56:14 When you're at Comedy Rumble, you like to listen

57:17 Jimmy Fallon talks about leading with love in his upcoming show

01:00:30 As the curtain closes on the old world, what do you hope to bring back

01:06:10 Faith cultivates the best character in you, Ben says

01:10:07 Do you have an apocalyptic skill that you could teach me real quickly

01:12:03 You can follow King Benjamin on Instagram, TikTok and YouTube

Follow Laydee Jay on Instagram: @therealladyjay

Upcoming Comedy Rumble Events:

 

• Salt Lake City: December 21st, Wise Guys

• Las Vegas: December 28th, Girls and Gays Rumble

 

Join the conversation on how comedy can be a powerful tool for community building and cultural understanding in these challenging times.

Episode Transcript

(00:16):
Um, Laydee Jay, I love your shirt.
Oh, thank you.
But first let me thank God.
What are you thankful
for right now?
Listen, it's so small, but I'mthankful that I'm able to get up and
have my lemon ginger tea in peace.

(00:41):
Yes.
Just I'm a mom.
So those just a moment of peace.
This right here without someone tuggingon me or asking me a question is life and
nobody really appreciates those momentswhere you can enjoy a drink And enjoy it.
Be able to think that enough to enjoy it.

(01:01):
Yeah.
I, sometimes I think about the,just how lucky we are as humans
right now, because like you said,it's a lemon ginger tea, right?
Ginger is that's a, that's a,that's a spice that we, that white
civilization got from like India, right?
So like

(01:23):
150 years ago, 200 years ago, 300 yearsago, you could not have ginger tea.
If you were in this part of theworld, you would be like, you,
it was just, was not available.
And so it's like the little simple thingsthat we're grateful for that we sometimes
take for granted are actually really.
And even like, I think aboutthat, that glass, right?

(01:44):
Like you didn't make that.
Somebody made that for you.
Um, I'm here to join coffee.
In a, in a little mermaid mug.
Of course, that is so on brand for you.
So me, so me.
And, uh, I didn't make this.
Like, this is a coffee.
Coffee is like, I didn't eveninvent the idea of coffee.
Like somebody.

(02:05):
A long time ago, looked at some beanson a tree and they were like, you know
what, I'll bet you if we fermentedthose beans for a while and let them sit
in the sun and then break them into abunch of pieces and then put hot water
in them, it would be really tasty.
Right.
And I get to benefitfrom that, which I love.

(02:27):
Or smell really tasty, butsome people will not drink it.
They will not like the coffee.
Well, that's because coffee is wicked.
It's what?
Coffee's wicked.
Oh, yeah.
In my background.
This is very, this is very sinful for me.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I just sinned a little bit right there.
A little more sinning.

(02:49):
Is it because it like enhancesyour, Being or something.
Does it have to do withthe caffeine side of it or?
So it's kind of complicated.
So they used to say, they usedto say that it was because it was
for health reasons, but that'sbeen pretty thoroughly debunked.
And also if you live in Utah andyou see someone who's like not
drinking coffee, but they have likea cup this size full of like soda.

(03:14):
Maybe, maybe drinking 32 ouncesof Sprite mixed with vanilla syrup
instead of 8 ounces of coffee isnot the healthiest option, right?
So really now what they say is thatit's more about obedience, right?
It's about obeying.
Okay.
And, um, which is tricky for mebecause I understand, I understand the

(03:37):
concept of like, oh, if you believein a higher power, I understand
the concept of sort of surrenderingyour will to that higher power.
But I also think that that can get reallydicey when you, when you put a person.
In between you and that higher powerand you start obeying that person.
Yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah.

(03:57):
And you're coming up on the podcast.
Everyone.
This is my friend, Laydee Jay.
Um, Laydee Jay.
Yes, I'Laydee Jay J.
Just a Cali girl.
They got stuck in Utah for eightyears and decided to take on comedy.
So.
That is me.
That is you.
And I'm, I'm trying, I was actuallyin preparing for this podcast.

(04:17):
I was trying to remember where we met.
Cause it feels, cause we, we connectedearly on in the comedy rumble experience.
And it feels like it, it you're,you're a person that it feels like
I've been friends with for a long time.
Like it feels like we met andI think that we were both.
Some people treat comedylike a little bit of a hobby.

(04:38):
They're kind of like,they're sort of doing it.
And then some peopletake it really seriously.
And they're like, they're,they're in it for the craft.
And I think you and I bothtake it really seriously.
And so we can really wear well there.
But then I was like going back throughmy phone, like through my, my Instagram.
I was like, did I reach out to you?
Did I see you on Instagram?
Like where, and I think maybe I metyou at an open mic at wise guys.

(04:59):
Yeah, I, we, we crossed paths.
I remember seeing youwith these two ponytails.
Yes.
And
something about the way you looked,but you had these ponytails.
Um, I was like, There'ssomething to that guy.
There's just like, I'm drawn to peoplethat you can't figure out right away.

(05:23):
Like, there's always like those peoplethat are, their personalities are loud or
who they are has kind of gotten around.
So you've kind of met them through otherpeople, but you, I was like, something's
up with that Ben guy, you know?
I don't know.
I just felt like.
You know, I got to talk to that person.

(05:43):
Um, so yeah, I would, I would see youat some open, at some open mics and I
still hadn't seen you, um, do a set yet.
And because you were seriouswith pigtails, I'm like,
he's serious about his craft.
I feel like this guy is funny.
When I finally get to see himperform, I feel like he's not.
He's got some stuff.

(06:03):
So, um, yeah, and then Comedy Rumblecame and then we're like, we're besties.
Comedy Rumble, yeah.
So
you, you came on the second Comedy Rumble.
Um, you killed it.
And, and that was, you actually won ComedyRumble when it was a little harder to win.
Cause we used to do 12people in Comedy Rumble.
Since then we've reduced it.
Yeah.
Which was a, which was a big, big win.

(06:24):
Uh, that cha, that that wasa big, uh, plus to the show.
It, it simplified it quite a bit.
Um, but I remember you, youcame on and you crushed it.
You were so funny.
And, um, and then I invited you back,I think the next rumble to, to be a
feature and you co-hosted with me too.
So I invited you back and you co-hostedwith me and we had a great time.

(06:46):
I remember one of my favoritejokes of that is that they, they'd
given us two chairs and one of themwas shorter than the other one.
And so I sat in the shorter chairand I was like, it's like, lady,
Jay, this is my first attemptat reparations, which is, I'm
like, I will take it.
I want to be clear.
I don't, not a very big step.

(07:07):
I think we have a long way to go.
But I am willing to take the firststep and it's in a shorter chair.
A hundred percent.
Yes.
I love it.
I'll take it.
Any form of it.
Tell
me a little bit about what yourexperience has been kind of,
cause you've been, you've sort ofseen the rumble grow quite a bit.
You've been on it several times.

(07:28):
You were on our all star show.
You featured a lot.
Um, talk to me a little bit about whatyou, what you've enjoyed about the show.
What, what you've sort of seenas, as the show has grown.
Um,
yeah.
Yeah,
so the rumble, I love it.
I love the The idea of us being ableto compete, but it's not a roast.

(07:50):
Like we're not on this showto tear each other down.
We're on this show to, um, amplifywhat community in comedy looks
like, like in a, in real time.
Yeah.
Um,
so I love the fact that,that we are encouraging.
Each other backstage, especially ifpeople have done a rumble before, they can
kind of help each other get through it.

(08:11):
Like, how does it actually work?
So the first minute is clean material.
Second round, like, go through it withthem, make them feel more comfortable.
And I also love that it challenges youto have to think of that new minute.
Yeah, that minute.
I don't know what it is.
If it's just the minute that that timeallowance that you get to have to have

(08:31):
a banger because what happened on one ofthe shows I did with the all star show.
We still tied.
So I had to think of something elsethat just a one liner joke that
would kill so it just the rumblechallenges you as a comedian.
Um, and then it helps you build like.

(08:51):
Those friendships, too, with othercomedians, to remind them, like, we're
in this together, like, we're all afterthis thing, whether it be a dream of
yours, a hobby, something you lost a dareand just ended up doing, now you're a
comedian, but there's so many differentwalks of life when you are backstage,
on the rumble, and it's just nice to seepeople who, you can tell, are serious

(09:13):
at their craft, and they're like, I'm onthe rumble because I want to get better.
I'm on the rumble because Ido want to challenge myself.
So, and then I too also enjoy that we'reable to perform in front of full rooms.
These shows sell out, so the crowdis different than an open mic that
you would go to to run your material.
Now you have a full crowd to really test.

(09:35):
Okay, did this stick?
Is this funny?
Or was it just, you know?
Yeah.
I love hearing all of that because I,I really, the, the rumble is the rumble
has been a really, um, beautiful kind ofpassion project for me because I wanted to
be able to give something that, that was.

(09:58):
When I first started doing comedy,a lot of my comedy was built around,
um, my journey in Mormonism, right?
Growing up polygamist andthen sort of exiting that.
That's sort of when people find outthat I was raised polygamist, usually
that's the thing that they latch onto.
They're like super reallyinterested in that.
And it's been nice to be able touse that as a hook to grab people,

(10:21):
but it also feels like it turns meinto a one dimensional character
sometimes, like to me, To me, that'sthe least interesting thing about me.
Right.
That's the thing that happened to me.
That's not something that I did.
Right, right, right.
And, and so I've been really thrilledto, to be able to have, to make something
to sort of offer to the comedy communityand to the world that is, that is built

(10:46):
out of my passion and not out of right.
Right.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What I really love.
And what I really love about it is anumber of the things you mentioned, like,
um, I remember when I first started doingstandup about three and a half years ago.
It was kind of lonely.
Like I would go to the open micsand, and there were sort, it was,

(11:07):
it felt really clicky, right?
There were, there were people whowere sort of there and they were all
kind of like in their little groupsand there wasn't, and which is fine.
Like there's no, there'sno shade thrown there.
Like people are in their relationshipsand they have their friends and no
one has to be more inclusive thanthey want to be, but as someone who
was starting It felt kind of lonely.

(11:29):
Like I was kind of like, I'd go to theopen Mike and I'd, I'd, there wasn't
really, no one was like, I would tryto meet people and I'd try to like make
connections, but there was no one thatwas like, Oh my God, I'm so excited.
You're here.
Welcome.
Well, this fire and, andyou're a part of that.
Right.
And so it wasn't until I'd been doingit for maybe two or three years.

(11:51):
That, um, a couple of new, a coupleof new guys came on the scene
and, um, I really liked them.
And so I kind of, I was like, I started towelcome everyone that I saw that was new.
I would always be like,Hey, I'm glad you're here.
Welcome.
My name's Ben.
Like I would try to like include them.
Yeah.
And then I started to find that I wantedto give, I wanted to Then channel that

(12:12):
energy into a, into a place, right.
Into a thing that we could do together.
And I remember, um, Iwas, I was listening.
I got out, I went on a Jimmy, do you know,Jimmy Carr, the comedian, Jimmy Carr?
He's the British guy.
He wears like a suit and hedoes like snappy one line.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah.
Super smart, really funny.
But he has, uh, my favorite thing abouthim actually is, is listening to him

(12:34):
get interviewed on podcasts because.
The way that he thinks about comedyis really, really smart, and he talks
a lot about community in comedy, andone of the things that he says, and
he's actually quoting another comicthat I don't remember who it is, is,
uh, But he says that comics are init alone, but we're at it together.

(12:56):
Absolutely.
It's when he's, it landed for me.
Oh, when we're on stage,it's just us, right?
It's just us.
But that doesn't mean that we can'thave like a community around us.
And so, um, that's one of the thingsI've tried to do with, with the Rumble
is to say, look, you guys, if we're,even though it's competitive, right?
And the competitive thing, I thinkit just brings out the best in us.

(13:18):
There's something about.
Testing yourself against anotherperson who's also excellent
in
a fun communal way that justbrings out the best in you.
And also we're, this is, it's allin service of the show, right?
We're all doing this together.
We're all creating this together.
Right, right.
Um, when, when you went, when you weretalking about, um, going to Mike's and

(13:43):
not feeling like anyone's like, oh,hey, welcome, making you feel welcome.
The first year I was in comedy,um, I really didn't care.
I was the pregnant, black, comedian girl.
So I just was on my grind.
I hit every mic.
I'm doing all the things.
I didn't really focus onthe community part of it.
I just was out the gate running.

(14:05):
Um, but now, when I go to open mics, whatI do is, cause you know, it can be clicky.
You got the, the groups.
I just walk up to the table.
And I just, You're like, yo, here I am.
Yeah, I just find my place.
And then I'm at that age rangewhere I could tell by the

(14:25):
conversations what age everybodyis and I kind of just mix in there.
And it's so funny because I am theonly black female comedian right now.
Um, well there's Sham B too, but whenI'm the only one in the room, It's
funny to see who makes eye contactwith me when they do make a racial
joke, whether it be racist or not.

(14:47):
I'm always the go to, and because myears, like, I listen to everything.
I'm already knowing whatjoke is told, and I'm cued.
I already know when they say it.
They're going to findme, but I'm right here.
I'm already looking at you.
Right.
Right.
I'm waiting for the eye contact.
And I love it.
You know, it better be funny.
I don't care if it's
racist.
Right.
You better be funny.

(15:07):
Is it funny?
Right.
And I think that is the, I thinkthat, cause I've, one of my
favorite, one of my favorite.
Um, bits that I've seen is, uh, AndrewSchultz talking about, uh, times
when it's okay to wear a black face.
Okay.
And what he says is, and he'stalking to, to a black guy in

(15:28):
the audience as he's doing it.
And he's like, look, I'm not sayingthat we should do it all the time,
but if we are, If we're on Navy SEAL6 team and we're about to go into
the jungle, like paint me up, bro.
Like, and it's so funny.
And it does what I think is really magicalabout comedy, which is comedy allows us to

(15:52):
sort of step into places that are highlycharged and then dissipate that charge.
Right.
Only works if we are skillful.
Right.
We are, um, and I think if we have,uh, if we have like an awareness,
if we're big enough as a comedian,To understand the full context.

(16:16):
I think a lot of times when, when,if someone, if some of these young,
like 20 something white dudes are likethrowing out racial jokes, and then
they're like looking at you to make surethat it's okay, like, Oh, his mommy.
Like, are you, am I in trouble thatthat doesn't actually, because, because
you're not, because you're not, you'renot doing it, you're not actually doing
the work of let's actually address.

(16:37):
The, the issue, right?
Cause there is racism, right?
That is a problem.
There is, it is, itis, it is a real thing.
And so should we be ableto make jokes about it?
A hundred percent.
That's how we move.
That's one of the ways that we movethat conversation, but we have to do it.
I think we have to do it boldly.
And we have to, we also have to doit with a knowledge of an awareness

(17:00):
of what it is that we're doing.
We have to, we have to be surgeons, right?
We have to be really good at it.
Yeah.
Yeah, yeah.
And two, I don't, sometimes I feellike racial jokes that are told It's
like, what was the point of that?
Cause now I feel like you're justprojecting your self hate onto us.
So it's like, it's gotta be funny.
Cause other than that, Iwas like, do you need help?

(17:25):
Do you need a hug immediately?
Yeah.
Like what's happening.
And my, my favorite way to do it,my favorite way to make, to make
racist or to make racial jokes.
Is to make jokes about me and my racism.
Yeah.
What's your experience?
Because, because my experience, likegrowing up the way, cause my, my

(17:45):
family is very white supremacist.
Like not even like closeted, like, likeboldly proclaiming the value of white.
The only sin that I could commit thatI would not be welcomed back with.
Open that I could not repent fromis to have sex with a black person.
If I did that, I'm, I'm permanentlyunclean and cell five permanently unclean.

(18:09):
But the,
but the, and so that's, Oh yeah.
Well, I'll suck out of mylittle mermaid mug for that.
But so for me, what that does.
What that gives me, I think, is thatgives me a really interesting edge
in the, in the racial conversation,which is I can fully acknowledge and

(18:34):
be present with my own white supremacy.
I know what that feels like.
I know what that, I know what itfelt like as a young little boy
to be taught that and to feelit kind of be gross in my belly.
And so I went out intothe world and I see.
You know, when, when, when the BlackLives Matter movement was happening,
when George, George, George Floydwas going on, all that's, and

(18:56):
there's so many white Americanswho are like, Oh, we're not racist.
America's not white.
To me, there was like.
Are you kidding me?
Like, it's obvious to me that we are.
It's
obvious, yeah.
It's obvious to me that
we are, and if it's obvious to us,then we can approach it with humor.
Because I didn't makemyself white supremacist.

(19:16):
I didn't like, I wasn't like up inheaven, like about to be born, and
I'm like, you know what, can I pleaseget the white supremacist option?
Can I get in that line twice?
Right, exactly.
Can I get that, can I justget fiddled up with that?
And I think that Top me off.
Exactly, top me off.
Can someone, can someone top me off withsome white supremacy in my mug, please?

(19:40):
Don't feel
like this is gonna be enough.
Right, I'm gonna need itall the way up to here.
And, and so what that means, though,is that A lot of, I love this.
I love this concept that I heardin therapy, which is that it's not
your fault, but it is your problem.
And I think that a lot of white American.
are, they are really resistant to the ideaof systemic racism and white supremacy

(20:04):
because they don't want to be that, right?
They don't want to think like, theydon't want to feel like it's their fault.
And I just want to be like, I wantto be able to say to them through the
lens of humor, y'all, you're right.
It's not your fault.
You didn't make the world the waythat it is, but it is your problem.
Yeah.

(20:25):
And if you don't acknowledge that, andyou can acknowledge that in really funny
ways, like, like sitting in a smallerchair and bigger chair and being like,
this is my first attempt at reparation.
Obviously not like, obviously a joke,obviously not what really needs to happen.
But again, it's sort of allowingus to have this conversation to
sort of talk about something likereparations in a way that is disarming.

(20:50):
And because it's disarming, itcan get into people's heads.
Thanks.
Yeah, no, for sure, for sure.
And then People's Guard, kind of,it can drop in the name of comedy.
If you're sitting in a comedy show, inmy mind, you came to laugh, but comedy
and music, to me, like, there shouldbe an educational piece in there.

(21:12):
And I
think it happens when you'retelling your experiences, you're
telling your stories with it.
It maybe gives someone anotherway of thinking about it.
You know, especially in a state likeUtah, people can be very closed minded
here because they've been sheltered,they haven't experienced a lot of things.
And so I try to bring as much ofmy experience being black in Utah

(21:34):
specifically, so they understand.
Through my lens, what, what I'mexperiencing, when the Black Live
Matters, um, movement popped off, Iwas here in Utah, and I could feel the
difference between someone being like,Black Lives Matter, or overcompensating
for their racist behavior.

(21:56):
I can feel it.
I'm just like, okay.
Yeah, everyone.
Overcompensation, I think.
is almost as annoyingas an undercompensation.
Like, I No, for sure.
I'd rather you just leave me alone.
Just Right.
Just leave me alone.
Just treat me like a person.
Like, I remember Treat me like a person.
I had, I had this awesome comedy nightone night where, uh, you know, Ryan

(22:20):
on Don't Tell, Don't Tell Comedy.
Yeah.
Like six months ago, uh, it waslike maybe an August or July.
He texted me.
Um, it was like a weekend.
He texted me and I'd, I'd kindof like settled in for the night.
I was just going to have a good time.
I may have eaten an edibleand I was just chilling.
And then I get a phone call from Ryanand Ryan's like, yo, somebody just

(22:41):
dropped out of my don't tell show.
Can you come do 20 minutes?
And I was like, I was like,buddy, something is just about
to hit, but yeah, I'll be there.
I'll take the train andI'll, I'll do my best.
And so I jumped on the train andit was actually, it was wild.
Cause I jumped on the train.
I rode the train while I was on the train.

(23:04):
I, I kicked in, it kicked in on the train.
So I'm sitting on the, so I don't know.
I don't know that this, I'm pretty surethis actually happened, but I was sitting
on the train and this guy sits acrossfrom me and he's a native American.
And he finds out that I'm a comedian.
And so he's like, he does what all peopledo when they find out that you're a
comedian, which is they either ask you totell them a joke or they tell you a joke.

(23:26):
Right.
And so he's like, I'mgoing to tell you a joke.
And I'm like, sweet.
And he says, why did thewhite man go to the moon?
And I'm like, I don't know why.
And he said, cause heheard there was land there.
Which is a banger joke.
And I laughed so hard.

(23:47):
I laughed so hard.
And then I was like,ah, and then I felt sad.
And then I was like, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
We did that.
And then, and then he was like,he, it was actually funny.
Cause then he laughed when I apologized.
And then he looked at me and he waslike, look, all I wanted to tell
you is just like, live in the energyof America, like listen to the
beat of America and live in that.
And then he fist bumped me and Ifelt the magic of his fist bump.

(24:11):
And then I went into the,the venue where we were doing
the, the, the don't tell show.
And there were a whole, there was like, Idon't know, the audience was pretty solid.
And then there were a A bunch of people,there were a bunch of black people in the
audience who had all moved into the state.
So they were all newcomers into the state.
And so I just started, I was, causeI'm like tripping at this point.

(24:33):
I'm not, I'm just like doing my thing.
I just started having conversationwith them and I would just
ask them, I'd be like, what's,what's weird about being in Utah?
And across the line, theywere like, your food sucks.
It's super bland.
And I was like, that, that makes sense.
And then they started to describe, theywere like, and everyone's super awkward.
And I tried to figure out whatthat was, and it didn't click until

(24:56):
afterwards, like after the show.
I was chatting with some of the peoplewho were like, they came up afterwards
and they're like, yeah, you were great.
And I was like, thanks.
I was super stoned and 'cause usuallyI never, my, I never perform, I always
perform a hundred percent sober.
Like that's, that's, I, Ineed to be, that's my job.
Right?
That's my, I'm doing thatand I'm, and, and to me, you

(25:16):
need to be on your Ps and Qs.
Like anything can happen, need
be
in charge, right?
I need to be in chargewhen I'm doing that.
And so this had just, this hadliterally just been a weekend where
I was like, Oh, it's Saturday night.
I'm going to, I'm going torelax and watch some Dexter.
And, and so I'm ended up thereand one of the guys come up and
he was like, I was trying tounderstand this awkwardness thing.
And he was like, he'slike, this is what it is.

(25:39):
People in Utah, they are so afraid ofbeing perceived as racist that they
get all tied up inside themselves.
And then they're just like, Oh,they're just like super, super
tight, intense and awkward.
And they can't just be a person.
Just be, yeah.
You
almost want to be like, Hey, it's fine.

(25:59):
You want to verbally let themknow you're safe with this one.
Right.
Which is wild to me.
It's wild to me that, that, thatwhite people cannot manage their
emotional shame around white supremacy.
And I think that's probably it.
Right.
Cause they haven't actually addressed it.
They haven't, they haven'tacknowledged to me.
I cannot tell you the reliefthat I felt psychologically.

(26:23):
I was probably 23 or 24 yearsold when I realized I was like, I
realized what white supremacy was.
And I was like, Oh, that's me.
That's the way I was raised andthe psychological relief of just
being, it's like, I, it's like howI imagine people feel when they get
up in front of Alcoholics Anonymous.

(26:44):
And say, hi, my name's whatever,and I'm an alcoholic, right?
The, the power of just saying what'strue, what, cause then now I know
it, now I've acknowledged it and nowI can just relax into, into being.
And when I relax into being what I feellike, if, if I were to put myself in, in
your shoes, It's so obnoxious to have,I would be so obnoxious to have to help

(27:11):
white people feel comfortable with mearound them because they feel like shame.
Like just manage your emotions,white people, like feel with that
shit yourself so that you cantreat, because the ultimate goal
isn't to treat anyone differently.
It's not the ultimate goal is.

(27:32):
You're a human, and I'm a human, andwe're just gonna be human together.
Right.
Right.
Treat others how you would treat yourself,but for many years, I mistranslated that.
In my mind, I'm like, I'm gonna treatpeople the way I wanna be treated.
But what happened was, I started to treatpeople better than I was treating myself.

(27:56):
Because that's how I translated that.
That saying, right?
Do what, actually it's a scripture,do unto others as you would yourself.
So it's like, how are youdoing yourself though?
Like, how are you treating yourself?
The truth sets you free.
But what you do with that truthis what gets you back in bondage.

(28:20):
Yeah, like the truth does its job, buthere we go putting our own two cent back
in it and we end up in bondage and youend up around someone and you don't know
how to just be because you are, you are
in turmoil.
You're in turmoil.
Yeah, you're all lockedup in this conflict.
Locked
up and then you think you'resupposed to be a comic and you get

(28:41):
on stage and you Project that ontous and then no one's laughing.
Yeah.
It's not, I always, I always thinkabout like, cause so many people get
on stage, especially with an open mic.
And I can't tell you the numberof times I've heard this of
someone saying, I'm doing thisbecause it's cheaper than therapy.
And every time I hear a comic say thatI want to slap that comic across the

(29:04):
face and be like, go to fucking therapy.
Cause, cause you can, you a hundredpercent can, and I believe you should.
Talk about difficultthings on stage, right?
The point of comedy, maybe not the wholepoint, but one of the real powers of
comedy is the, is the ability to sortof shine light into the dark places.

(29:27):
No, honestly.
But you can't do that ifyou haven't dealt with it.
So if you haven't gone and done the workof dealing with it so that you can sit,
one of the reasons why I feel I can, Ican address any racial topic on stage.
I have no problem.
It's so like, we were in Vegas.
There was a, there was this hilariousmoment where we had a, we had

(29:51):
Jason Paxman who ended up winning.
He's a white comic.
We had this guy, Kid Q.
He's a black comic and we hadto flip a coin to see who won.
And it was a George Washingtonquarter and George Washington, slave
owner, like super racist, kid lost.
And so it was this whole hilarious moment.
And I felt.
So comfortable in that space.
I felt so comfortable makingthose jokes and kind of being it.

(30:13):
Reason why is that I've, I'velooked at that, that monster inside
of me and I've dealt with it.
I've ignored.
And I, and what I found underneaththat monster that was really beautiful
is white supremacy was never me.
That was something that was.
Foisted on me.
And when I examined that, when Iacknowledged what had been foisted on

(30:33):
me, what I found underneath that islove is, is just my, my, my delirious
and delighted love in all people,especially in different people, right.
And people who are different thanme, because if you're the same
as me, I don't really need you.
Right.
There's not a lot of interesting things.
I already know me.

(30:54):
And so if you're the same, there'snothing, there's nothing new there,
but if you're different, Oh my God.
What a beautiful gift that youhave because of all the new things
that you have to expose me to.
And so I've been able to seethat underneath this thing.
And so now I can, now Ican deal with it right now.
I can talk about it on stage and Ican be, I think I can be funny with

(31:17):
it in a way that feels disarming,that feels fun to everyone and
sort of kind of neutralizes that.
That energy.
But the only reason I can do that isbecause I've examined that in myself.
Right.
Right.
I love to be black infront of white audiences.
I love to not have to do thewhole, Hey girl, Hey, all these

(31:37):
antics to, to show my blackness.
Yeah.
I'm just like, Hey, I've been here y'all.
I know that I know how itgoes and I have thick skin.
So here we are.
Because there's an educational side to it.
It's information they may not know.
I love being able to be in theclassroom and a mom would say to me,

(32:01):
Miss J, we are happy to see you here.
And I would know what that meant.
There were, there's childrenwho have never been exposed
to a, to a black person.
Yes.
So I am the first.
Do you know?
That's, that's Miss J.
Why is your skin look like that?

(32:23):
And I had to remember that she reallythree like, girl, what do you mean?
And I'm like, well, I got to look around.
Remember where I'm at.
Yeah.
You know, and I would consider thefact that these children may have
never seen a real black person.
So I'm not just coming toschool next week with braids.
I'm going to prep you.
Hey.
Miss J's come to school with like along Elsa braids, but a lot of them,

(32:47):
you know, cause I can't, I don't wantto shock their heart, you know, and
I come to school and then it's cuteto see like a couple days later, some
students will come in with their braids.
I have, I have lady, Miss Jbraids, you know, and there's some
like, are these snakes, Miss J?
And it's like, you know,that's not a snake in my hair.
Go home and watch.

(33:07):
The Cosbys or something, I don't know.
again, ah,
. I love it.
And it, it really is just that like,'cause because, I mean, I think that,
especially if you're outside of Utah,it might seem strange that, but, but
literally you could be a, a person'sfirst black person that they've ever seen.
Like that's how, yeah.
You get
it.

(33:28):
That is how white you, andyou, so I grew up in Wyoming.
I did not meet a person ofcolor until I was like 19.
That's crazy.
I was 19 years old andthat was the first time.
And, and, and part of that was becauseI was in a super insular group, but also
it's just because in Wyoming, there'snot a lot, it's mostly white people.

(33:53):
Right.
And in Utah, it's mostly white people.
And which is a real shame because, uh, I,I think that the, there's so much value,
I think in a diverse community, right?
Having, having people who aredifferent, being surrounded by
people who are different thanyou, but are engaged with you.

(34:14):
To me, that's the dream.
And I've actually really loved that we'vebeen able to do that on, on the Rumble
because I've been really deliberate andreally intentional about seeking out
like, uh, trans people or gay peopleor black people, or like, I want to
have, I want to find all of the peoplewho are marginalized or who, who are
different than what the mainstream is.

(34:36):
And I, cause I want, I want themto surround me because they make
me funnier and I want to have,I want that to be my community.
I don't want a homogenized community.
I want a diverse community.
Yeah, yeah, and it's funny.
I found a lot of community within thecomedy scene here more than my people,
which is sad to say, but true, you know,like the relationships I have, like I

(35:01):
have really good friends who are blackin Utah, don't get it twisted, but that
sense of community, real community,I find it with My comic friends.
Yeah.
Well, and I, and I think thatthat's, that sort of speaks to the
different ways that we have community.
'cause there's sort of the communityof your, maybe your culture and where
you come from, but there's also this,this really cool community of like your

(35:24):
craft, like the community of your, of,of the people who have, who have decided
this is the thing that I'm going to do.
And I'm going to do it with excellence,and I'm going to do it with purpose, and
I'm going to try to surround myself withpeople who are also doing it that way.
Like, like minded.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Which that I think transcends,I think that that is one of the

(35:46):
highest Forms of friendship.
I think it's one of the highest formsof, of community because it's, it's
perhaps one of the most intentional forms.
Cause a lot of these other thingsare things that, um, happen to us.
Maybe not happen to us isn't the rightword, but we're like, they're just, we,
we didn't, we're just like, that waspart of our default when we, when we

(36:07):
downloaded into this video game, that'sthe character that we ended up playing.
But voice and we choose what our craftis going to be and when you're surrounded
by people, and that's been, I think, oneof the most thrilling things about, uh,
working the rumble over the last severalmonths is being able to sort of gather

(36:28):
the people who are serious about comedy.
Yeah.
All tied into, okay, if we're allserious about this, let's create
something that allows us all.
Cause comedy rumble, it was the, myinitial conception of it was I want to
build a show that is good for comics, thathelps you work out new material that helps

(36:52):
you get on stages on, on the weekend.
That's because one of the things thatI was very lucky when I started was Is
that I got introduced to, um, Mark who,who helped me co host the, the all star.
Yeah.
Mark mentored me forabout a year and a half.
And one of the best things about beingmentored by Mark is that he had his own

(37:13):
show and he would do, he would do a showevery couple of months and it was always
on a weekend and it was always sold out.
And so after doing one or two openmics, I got to then step onto a stage
in front of a sold out weekend crowdat Jordan Landing and, and, and I
got to feel what that energy felt.
Yeah, it's nice.

(37:34):
And it's so nice.
It's like, so nice.
It's like.
It's like when you go to, it's thedifference between having to start a
fire and walking up to a fire, right?
Like, that is the difference.
If I got to start a fire, likeI'll start that fucking fire.
Cause I
want a fire.
I'll start it.

(37:55):
Right.
But I'm going to be like rubbingsticks together and, I'll start a fire.
Come on, come on, come on, come on.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And, and we've all, as a comic, youhave to know how to start a fire.
You've got it.
You've got to know how to start a fire,but it is so nice when you don't have to.
Yeah.
You can just walk out onto thatand they're already primed.

(38:18):
I love, I love before ashow, I always go out.
This is Mark.
Mark taught me this.
I always go out and I just listen andI just listen to, cause there's that,
there's that buzz that happens whena group of humans are together and
they're all, they're all chatting.
They're all, and then there'sa, there's a little buzz, right?
It's the communal thing.
And if there's a show and there's notenough people or they're not open and

(38:39):
they're not engaged, Then there's no buzz.
And when there's no buzz,you got to get it going.
But when there's a buzz and there's abuzz in the room and it's just, it's just,
and then you can just walk out into that.
It's electric.
It is.
It's electric.
It feels really, it's, it's electric.
It feels sacred to me.
It feels like one of the mostsacred things that I, I ever get

(39:02):
to do because I get to sort of stepinto the energy of other people.
And they're giving their energy to me.
They're trusting me with theirenergy that I'm going to do
something positive with it.
Right.
And then I get to send some stuffout to them and then I get a big pop.
And then I gather that up.
Thank you.
Thank you for that.

(39:23):
And now again,
yeah, it kind of, it feeds the next thing.
It's like,
There's a system.
There's a system.
And then what I love about therumble is then, cause I, I did, I
headlined a couple of weeks ago.
I did a weekend in theRickles room and it was fun.
I had a good time, but I rememberon the second day on the Saturday

(39:43):
and the, the Saturday sold out.
So it's a full crowd.
We're having a good time, but I'm likehalfway through my, my set, my hour.
And I'm, and I just, and I'mhaving fun, but as I'm doing it,
I'm thinking, ah, this would be alot more fun if it were a rumble.
Like I would, I found myselfpreferring the rumble because
there's a, there's a trade off.
There's like a gift.

(40:03):
There's like a, I get it.
And then I give it to you and then youdo something and then I take it back
and then I give it and, and what I'vefound with the rumble that I really
love is the, cause I've, I've been onthis journey with my comedy where the,
the way that I would describe, I madea shift about in like August and the
simple shift was, it's not about me.

(40:25):
Before that it was about me.
How do I get my time?
How do I get my, and not in like a superselfish way, but just in a, I'm focused
on my career and doing me and me and me.
And then I was just like,Oh, it's not about me.
And as soon as it wasn't about me,then I get to be in the center of it.
So, so when I'm on stage.
I don't have to be the personthat gets the best laugh.

(40:46):
Right.
All I care about is,do we get a good laugh?
And so one of my favorite thingsto do is, and I've started to get
really good at this because I'vebeen listening to the other comics
so I know what their style is.
And so I'll start in thoseinterviews, I'll start to set
them up for a really funny thing.
So I'll, I'll give them a littlesetup and I know that they can.

(41:07):
So, so it's like, I'm, I'm a, I'm, we'replaying volleyball and I'm like, here
we
go.
And being able to serve it upand then to see them stick it.
And nobody knows that that's what I did.
Nobody knows that that's what, butI know that that's what I was doing.
And I know that if I dothat, if I can set up.
All these other people to just crush,then there's going to be this big pop

(41:32):
of energy in the room and that's what wecare about is that everyone gets that and
it doesn't have to be me that does that.
But if I'm consistently setting peopleup, then what happens is that every once
in a while, if I'm listening, there'sgoing to be a little, a little space.
And then I can go in there and I canbe BAM and I can get a big laugh.

(41:53):
And that's all I need.
That's fun for me.
But it's not about me.
It's not about me like alwaystrying to like, Oh no, I have
to be the one who has to.
No, it's not about me.
It's about how can I setall these other people up?
And if I set all these otherpeople up, then I look good too.
Yeah,
you're getting gifts throughout thenight and we're over here nervous wreck

(42:15):
and you're just like, Oh, look at them
having so much fun doingthe things proud of them.
Yeah.
And I get to, and it reminds me too,like we were talking earlier about
like, uh, when kind of the, the approachwhen, when you go to a place and there's
sort of a closed group, like I, I thinkall the time about how about giving.

(42:37):
Yeah.
And about giving energy.
And the more energy you give,the more energy I seem to have,
as long as it's a clean gift.
It's not like, uh, I'm gonna give youthis, but I really need, it's like And,
and to me, like, I love, it, it costsme nothing to, to raise someone up.
Right.
I remember when Kayla stone,she murdered at a, at a feature.

(42:59):
Um, I think it was comedyrumble seven or eight.
And, and afterwards I was just, I, Icould not say enough good about her.
And every time I, I love tellingthat story because it's so easy.
It's so easy for me tothrow energy towards her.
It's so easy for me to belike, Oh, look at this person.
They're great.
They're it's so easy to just likeblow on the fire of everyone's soul

(43:23):
and have that thing burn bright.
And, and it's fun.
And when you see the look inpeople's eyes, it costs me nothing.
And
you yourself gain so much fromthat to have a heart of, of giving.
We come from a creator who gave.
Okay, we're not gonna do that.

(43:43):
Well, again, I, I like, I like, to me, tome it's all fingers pointed at the moon.
But like that's, I think that'sone of the most beautiful parts of
the Christian tradition is that, isthat God in the Christian tradition,
descends below, gives himself entirely.
And then, and, and what's beautifulto me about that story too is

(44:04):
that he gives himself entirely.
And through that, he is also glorified.
And I think that thatis the truth of giving.
I think that giving sometimeswe think of giving as.
If you give that someonecomes out on top, right?
We don't understand is if I, cause the,the value to me, when I, when I, when

(44:25):
I'm constantly building other people upand I'm constantly doing that, I'm not
doing it because of the benefit to me.
I'm not saying, Ooh, I'm going todo this because it's going to help
me this way, but it just does.
It just automatically happenswhen I'm constantly in service of
other people and building them up.
Then what happens is I get to livein a world surrounded by allies,

(44:50):
right?
Because I've, because I've investedso much in other comics through,
through Comedy Rumble, right now onmy phone, I have over a dozen comics.
That I could call up right now and belike, yo, I need some help with something.
And I need some helpwith something right now.
And they would be, I got you.
I got you.

(45:11):
Right.
I now get to live in aworld surrounded by allies.
That is awesome.
Because I, because I gave to them.
And it's not because I gave to them andI was like, Ooh, now you're my ally.
Now you have to do something.
They want to be my ally.
I want to be their ally.

(45:32):
And yeah.
Isn't it beautiful, isn't it beautifulthat we get to live in a world where
when we do good for other people, it'salso good for us and we both love it.
Right.
But also because you've done the work,you're able to give from a, from a genuine

(45:54):
transparent place it, that when you say,Hey, you put someone on a show or whenever
you've reached out to me, I'm like,I'm going to do it because it's been.
I'm not doing it because I need the work.
You get what I'm saying?
So it's because you've done thework on yourself and now you're
giving from a solid place.
It just, it feels right.

(46:15):
You know?
Yeah.
When I think about you when you weretalking about, um, when you, when
you study white supremacy and you'relike, wait a minute, that's not me.
That's what's been instilled in me.
What came to my mind is, I'll getlike these, these visions, right?
What came to my mind was like this oldVictorian style home, like just an old

(46:36):
home and this carpet and this bunch ofpadding and they finally pull it up.
It's been this carpet they've loved andthey've shampooed and they've done all
these things, but when they finally pullit up There's this beautiful wooden floor.
It's like, Oh, now we can have dancesand now we can, you know, buy new

(47:01):
furniture because it can, it, youknow, it's just this whole thing.
So when you said under that, Idiscovered love and love is the greatest
commandment because it is so powerful.
It can shift anything.
It endures all things.
It's so selfless.
So for you to be able to come fromthat place, from the foundation
that you found, under all that mess,this is what we are walking on.

(47:27):
This is why it's been abeautiful thing, because the
person that brought it forward.
Yeah.
Thank you.
I, I love, I love the image of me asa hardwood floored Victorian house.
Yes.
Because, because honestly, like the, and,and the whole journey was really beautiful

(47:48):
because, and it was painful, right?
Like, I don't want to like minimizelike the, the, the pain of acknowledging
the, the way that you were raised andthe trauma that was inflicted, like
all of that, and really dealing withthat tearing out carpet in a house.
Is hard fucking work.
Like it, it's exhausting.

(48:08):
You get shit blown up your nostrils.
Like it's, you get stuff in youreyes and, and, and it's, it's really,
really difficult, but what happenedas I was doing that, or, and really
afterwards is right, I sort of landedon this, on this discovery of myself.
Like I found, I found me.
And what I, when I found me, what Irealized is that I love myself so much.

(48:35):
Like the person that I love the most inthe world is me and not in like a, I'm
the best ever, or like, but just in like,just in like a way of, I have seen the
full spectrum of my humanity and I'veseen what my soul really wants to express.
And I am madly in love with that person.
And as soon as that clicked for me, assoon as I was able to sort of land in that

(48:59):
space and be madly in love with myself,it became so easy to love other people.
Right?
Became so easy because I was just cool.
Yeah, yeah.
You want to just inject this, um, thelove that you have for yourself, the
confidence that you gain from discoveringyour true self, the freedom that you

(49:23):
get to exude from being your true self.
You want others to feel that.
And then a shift happens from, causethere's this, there's this moment
where you, when you discover yourselfwhere you're like, Oh, I'm that guy.
I'm that girl.
Like you get this, like, can'tnobody tell me nothing type.
My head is high.
And then you're like, well, hold on.

(49:43):
Cause I don't want to project that.
I also want people to see meas humble, but I want them to
understand that I know who I am.
Right.
Yeah.
Right.
So there's that, there's that shiftbetween, okay, let me not get too cocky.
Let me not pop it too much.
I want to lead with love.
And they trust that I'm leadingwith love from a genuine space.

(50:04):
Because that self righteousnessI've had to keep in check.
It's like if I see someone that ismaybe struggling in an area and I'm
not compelled to compassion for them,if I look down on them, that's a check
engine light for me to be like, what'sgoing on with you that you didn't
feel compassion towards that person,that you didn't want to say, Hey,

(50:26):
let's have a conversation.
Yeah, so when I walk into a room, not evenknowing that maybe I'm the person they
think is the vet, is the professional.
I've only, I'm a baby.
I've only been doing it three years.
So when I'm in a space and other comedianshave done it six months, a year and a
half, I no longer feel like, you know.

(50:48):
Oh, well, gosh, I'm just gonnasit here and do my thing.
I'm like, so tell me, you know,I'm, I'm here to, to help.
I'm here to help.
I'm here to learn.
I always, I think thatall the time, right?
Where, 'cause I, I'm also very sensitiveof I, I'm I for the rest of my life I
will only ever be myself and I'll onlyever be myself boldly and powerfully.

(51:09):
Right?
And there's enough space in my worldfor me to be as big as I want to be.
And for every, I am aking among equals yes.
I am surrounded by powerful beings, right?
Every human, every human is sobrilliantly powerful and creative.
And they have, their, their potentialis if, if we found, if you imagine

(51:33):
the worst person on earth, right?
Just the shittiest human on earth.
If we found that person on Mars, we wouldgo batshit crazy about the incredible
life that we just found on Mars.
Every person is that.
And if I can sort of be in this spaceof I'm, I'm, I'm just going to be me.

(51:55):
I'm going to be my big,expressive, bold, powerful self.
And there is space in my worldfor you to do the same thing.
I believe a hundred percent that I'mthe best in the world at some things.
And one of those things is talking, right?
I'm the best in the world at talking,but that doesn't mean that there
aren't other people that aren't alsothe best in the world at talking.

(52:18):
That doesn't mean there aren'tother people that aren't also the
best in the world at other things.
And what I've realized too, fully seeingmyself and fully seeing the things that
I'm the best at, what I've also learnedis there are other things that I am
definitely not the best in the world at.
And so that's why I need other people.
Yeah, I need your best, where I'm lacking.

(52:39):
Your best, because your best isgoing to come in and it's going to
beautifully align itself with my best.
And then we get to be this beautifulengine that works together.
And that's what humanity is about, right?
We are not, we've been fed a myth inAmerica of the rugged individual, right?

(52:59):
The person that just doesit all by themselves.
And that is absolute horse shit.
No human in the history of ever.
Do you know what happens to humanswho do things by themselves?
They die.
They burn out.
Humans who are alone are dead.
Humans that are able to buildtribes and communities and, and

(53:20):
that is where we are powerful.
And I would way rather, I had thisawesome experience because I, I, Uh,
and I talk about this way too muchbecause I have to because when you go to
Burning Man, you have to talk about it.
It's the rule.
You have to talk about itfor the rest of your life.
And so the first year that I went toBurning Man, I did it very much by myself.
And everyone told me at the end of,I was with a camp, but I was kind

(53:42):
of just soloing it the whole time.
And at the end of theweek, I had a banger week.
It was super fun.
And everyone was like,you won Burning Man.
Which I didn't know was a thing,but apparently it's just if everyone
votes in your camp that you wonBurning Man, then you won Burning Man.
So I was like, yeah, I won Burning Man.
And emphasis, I won Burning Man, right?
And
then I went this last year and Idid, I was in community, right?

(54:06):
I was doing things.
I had a whole group of friends.
We did a whole bunch ofcool things together.
We ended up getting in the newspaper.
Like there's a newspaper that getsprinted out at Burning Man and our
camp got featured in that newspaper.
Oh, nice.
And so at the end of the week, Iwas like, Oh, we won Burning Man.
And what I realized is it is way morefun to be part of a we than to be an I.

(54:32):
It is so much more fun to win things withpeople than to win things by yourself.
Right.
Because
then you, like, when, when you get,when you get to that moment, like, I
think about the moments when the rumbleis like popping off and the energy's
really great and I'm on stage and I'mnot by myself and I'm looking around and

(54:52):
there's like, there's someone right here.
And then there's my cohost and thenwe've got Becca trying to get up the
stair, like, and I'm, we're surrounded.
We're with, it's a, we're a team.
We're part of this community.
And we're all doing, noneof us did this by ourselves.
We all did this together.
And that, that is so much morefulfilling than I did this.

(55:13):
You know?
Yeah.
Yeah.
Cause then it's like, okay, well,what are you going to do next?
Right.
What are you going to do?
And then there's just this constant drive.
And then eventually you flame out.
Right.
But, but, and, and what are, and,and again, I love that question.
What are the, cause the, the oppositeof what am I going to do next
is, What are we going to do next?
And yeah, it's,

(55:34):
it's, it's almost like the marriage thing.
Like I don't, the 50, 50, I feel like.
If I'm giving 100 and you're giving100, neither one of us will be lacking.
Yes.
And if ever there's a time where Idon't have my 100 to give, let's say

(55:55):
I'm sick and I can't give my 100.
Because you're giving 100, that covers us.
Yes.
But it's
like, well I gave my 50,well where's your 50?
Right.
Oh, so we just gonna be halfwaythere because I can't give mine?
Because you, all you've given is half?
Yeah.
You know,
a hundred percent.
So I, the the back to the, whenyou said when you're a comedy

(56:16):
rumble you like to listen.
Um, I do that in a sense of, within ateam, I'll listen to conversations, I'll
listen to what people are going throughin their personal life, things they've
mentioned, maybe a failed date, maybe awork issue, a new job they don't like.
So I'm able to getaround those same people.

(56:37):
The following week, maybe write a mic andbe like, how was that date you went on?
And they feel seen.
They feel like, okay, now I can conversewith Laydee Jay and it not feel fake.
How does she rememberI had a date last week?
Cause I pay attention.
And because we're inthis space, I value you.
Yeah.

(56:58):
Why would I not?
Because this is a spacethat I want to thrive in.
Why would I not value it?
Which is why, whether it be an openmic, a 10 minute set, 20 minutes,
an hour, I respect the audience.
So I always try to come as best prepared.
I don't want to be fumbling withmy phone or doing the whole, Yeah,
let's see what else I can talk about.

(57:19):
What you guys want to talk about?
I come dressed because I justwant people to to feel good.
You never know what it took someonein their day to get to that seat.
From the time they purchased a ticket,what happened in their life that
they were able to get in that seat.
Give them a show.

(57:39):
You don't even know what it took themto budget that money to purchase that 10
ticket, that 15 ticket, give them a show.
You don't
know what happened in their day.
Show up and have respect for thepeople who are here to see you.
Because it's a we thing, likeyou said, it's a we thing.
And, and, and what I love too, as you weretalking, what I, what I sort of saw was.

(58:03):
When we're, when you're asking people,when you're remembering, oh, this, you did
this thing, tell me about how that went.
Right.
Really what we're doing is we're, we're,we're building the collective, right.
We're investing in this communalculture that's in this environment
that carries people, right.
That, and, and that is sogood for everyone else.

(58:25):
And it's so good for us.
Right.
It is so good for us as humans tobe in communities that carry us.
Cause we can't, thislife is so hard, right?
The world is so wild.
Things are so, especially rightnow, things are just batshit crazy.
And we don't have, I think all the timeabout how little power we have to fix.

(58:47):
The big things, right?
Who's president, what's happeningwith global war, what all of these
things, there's so little powerthat we have to fix those things.
But if I bring my energy back andif I look at the communities that
I'm in, I can invest in those.
I can raise those communities up.
I can build those communities sothat they carry me and they carry

(59:08):
everyone else that's around me.
Right.
Right, um, which all goes backto your foundation, who you
discovered under that carpet.
It's love.
It's leading with love.
Because I'm leading with love, Ican say, oh my gosh, Jimmy, you
put some product in your hair.
Your curls are popping tonight.
Yeah.
It's all about me and howthirsty I am or how hungry I am.

(59:30):
And I just want to get this over with.
I'm leading with love.
That means I'm being kind.
I'm being patient.
I'm being gentle withthe people around me.
And that is what builds peopleup because when you are free to
love, when you lead with love, itunlocks someone else's happiness.
Yep,
it can definitely do that.
It could be in a moment of just despairor nerves and when you come around and

(59:54):
you You you do that thing that you doYou kind of see him relax a little bit.
You kind of see him Yeah, itdefinitely shifts the energy.
And if everyone can just tap into that.
But, behind the closed doors, I thinkpeople are not really doing the work.
They're stepping outside, they'reputting on cologne and a nice outfit,
and they're trying to cover up that dirt.

(01:00:15):
And it's like, you move in away that says you're bound.
You're not fooling me.
You're moving in a way that saysyou don't have the confidence that
this outfit says you should have.
Yeah.
Got to do both.
You got to do the work inside.
Oh my God.
It has been, I love this conversation.
I do want to respect our time.
So I want to move us.
I have two questions to wrap us up with.
And there, we talked a littlebit about this before about

(01:00:37):
this is an apocalypse podcast.
I love the way you describe that,which is the curtains are closing.
The curtains are going to raise back up.
So the first question that I have is.
As those curtains are closing, right?
As this old world kind of comes toan end and this new world is being
born, what are the parts of the oldworld that you hope we move off stage?
And what are the parts that we want tobring back on stage for the new act?

(01:01:00):
Um, for the old act, I want to removethis, this self love movement, because
I feel like it's a slippery slope intobeing selfish and not really being
concerned with what anyone else isgoing through, not having compassion.

(01:01:22):
I just think it's, it's goingto get kind of tricky with that.
This is a year about me and selfand it's like, but is it though?
I understand the aspect of it's aboutme and I need to do the self work and
I need to work on myself, but thiswhole block culture and positive vibes
only, and I just want to be aroundthe people that think like me, then

(01:01:44):
there's no room for growth for thepeople that don't think like you.
Sometimes we need those peoplethat don't think like us around.
We need that, that, I wouldn't saynegativity, but that's not real life.
We don't grow, we don't stretch if we'renot hit with, with some trying times.
That's not just all positive becauseyou don't really know what you're

(01:02:05):
made of until you are broken.
You don't know what's inside.
So kind of getting away from thatself love, um, it's all about me.
I'm doing me this year.
I healed myself.
I'm on a journey.
It's like, we.
We're in this together.
So kind of removing that, um, and thenwhen the curtains open, I really would

(01:02:26):
love for us to get back to divineauthority because I think that's why
everyone is so afraid and so scatteredand so all over the place and this fear
has settled in and has grown some roots inpeople because they forget that there's a
lot of things that you're trying to figureout and it's not for you to figure out.

(01:02:46):
There is divine authority in place.
So besides, it doesn't matterwho's, who's the president.
It doesn't matter what theselaws are talking about.
It doesn't matter what color you wear.
It doesn't matter how you wear your hair.
There is a divine authority in place.
And there's things that have tochange so that things can change.
There's things that have to shift.

(01:03:07):
There's things that gotta be broken.
And so if people can just, Rememberthat they're not in charge.
Again, it's, it's not you.
Yeah.
You know, there's a divineauthority happening.
So, uh,
Surrendering to thatdivine authority, right.
And whatever it is that you callthat surrendering to that, what that
has done for me is that's allowedme to let go of the big things.

(01:03:33):
Yeah.
That
I never had control over anyway.
I never, I never could.
I only imagined that I could.
I never really could.
So I've been able to let go ofthose and that has allowed me to
sort of drop in fully into my life.
Right.
Then I can look around and I canlook around where I actually am

(01:03:54):
and the people that I'm actuallysurrounded by, the influence that
I do currently have and I can makethe most beautiful gifts from that.
But it's only because I cansort of say, I love this.
I started practicing Qigong likethree or four years ago, kind of
after I, I sort of left Mormonismand for a while kind of left the idea
of religion and the divine behind.

(01:04:15):
And, and I started studying Qigong,which is essentially like an ancient
Chinese, like energetic practice.
It's like a moving meditation.
And they talk a lot in Qigong about theidea of faith and faith for a long time
was really triggering for me because tome, faith meant, um, obeying a person
who had put himself in between me andGod and was going to tell me what to do.

(01:04:39):
And so blindly following that personand that felt really bad to me.
And as I moved into this study ofQigong, I began to reframe what faith
meant to me because the way that theythink about faith is faith is the
belief in the divine order of things.
That there is, that thereis an order to the universe.

(01:05:01):
And that it is happening the waythat it is supposed to happen.
And that we can surrender to that process.
And it doesn't meanthat it's always pretty.
It doesn't mean that it's always fun,but it means that, that there it's, and
it's, and what I love about that too,is whether or not that's true, right?

(01:05:22):
Whether or not we can verifiablysay, yes, there's a divine order to
things, and I can prove that to you.
It doesn't really matter becausethat's not the point of faith.
The point of faith is I thinkthat it gives you space.
To relax and to live and to live in aspace of Of empowerment and belief and

(01:05:44):
that there's enough and that things aregoing to, even if things are trying or
difficult right now, that's part of it.
That's part of what needs to happen.
And so I don't need to get allwrapped up in, Oh, things are
not exactly how they should be.
And you could get, you couldspin out, we can spin out.
And I have spun out so manypeople have spun out on that.

(01:06:04):
And if you have faith, you can just sortof relax and say, it's going to be okay.
Yeah.
Faith really cultivates the best character
in you.
I love that.
It cultivates the best character in youbecause then you engage in the world from
this space of faith that it's going to be.
And when someone, when you interact withsomeone who has faith, they can, they

(01:06:31):
can surmount, they can approach whatseemed like insurmountable obstacles.
Like I think about, I think aboutwhat's coming up for me now is like.
Yeah, like you, but, but also likethe, I, I, what immediately comes to
mind is Martin Luther King, right?
Like a man who had so much faith inthe face of just the most adversity,

(01:06:54):
the horrific adversity, adversity.
Right.
And, and he was able to walk in andhe was able to inspire millions of
people to walk into that darkness.
In total confidence,
right?
Because they had faith andthat's what we need, right?
We need, we need to be able to walkbecause we're, I, we're, we are facing

(01:07:18):
some dark times, make no mistake.
Like the world, the world isgoing to, it's going to be a
little bit of a correction.
And as it corrects, Things are going tobe, get a little bit gnarly, but if we can
walk into that darkness in faith and justlike, this is, we're going to be okay.
And I've got you andI've got you on my right.
And I've got you on my, and we'relinked arms and we are walking into this

(01:07:39):
storm together, leaving the darkness.
We don't know why, but believingthat on the other side there
is, there is the promised land.
Right.
Uh, surround me with people like that,
right?
You know, the last time I had to,to use some faith, really stretch.
My faith was, uh, last nightat the, uh, corporate gig.

(01:08:01):
Yes.
I said, father God, the minuteI heard that I was going last,
I said, okay, I like that.
And I said, uh, father God, thismicrophone situation, I have
faith that when I get the mic.
The stormy seas will have calmed.
I know it.
I know that you would not haveme to perform the way my fellow

(01:08:23):
friends just had to do that.
Yeah.
Because you love me and I have faiththat you are going to figure this out.
Even if I gotta put my,my little two cent in.
He knows I'm the, I'm thedaughter of a speaker, man.
So I said, I feel likeI know what's going on.
So next thing I know,everyone's asking me questions.
What do you think we
should do?
Yeah.
So then I got
the mic.

(01:08:44):
And that faith thenchanges your orientation.
That changed the way you act, right?
It changed the way you acted.
And because it changed the wayyou acted, things worked, right?
And that, I think that is the beauty of,I think that sometimes, sometimes people
think of faith as something very passive.
I'm just going to sit no faith isfaith is I believe that I am that

(01:09:07):
I am divine that my footsteps aredivinely guided that someone Someone
is showing me the path to walk.
And so I will walk that path andI don't know where that path goes.
And sometimes I can only see, sometimesI can't even see the next step.
Sometimes I'm just like, Oh, here we go.

(01:09:28):
Yeah, but, but then you're stepping right.
And it's that action, that faith inspiredaction that really changes things.
Yeah, it gives you the ability toactually move in a way that, that
projects that onto other people.
Like, well, how is sheso cool in this moment?
Everyone else is freaking outabout this microphone thing and
she's chilling because I havefaith that it's going to work out.
It is, it's going to do itsthing and it's going to be great.

(01:09:50):
This needed to happen.
So now homegirl knows the thingsto think about moving forward.
And now Ben knows the thingsto think about moving forward.
So it, everything happens for a reason.
It's all in service of the show.
Right.
All in service of the show.
Okay.
Love that.
Okay.
Last question.
Hey, last question.
Um, do you have an apocalyptic skillthat you could teach me real quickly?

(01:10:15):
And it could be anything's a skillto help me survive in the apocalypse.
Well,
oh man, I know how to do a handstand.
That's a pretty cool trick.
Okay.
When you survive, tell me, tell me,talk to me about when I'm, cause I love,
I'm working on a handstand right now.
What am I missing?
Okay, um, don't just come outthe gate trying to balance.

(01:10:37):
Oh, I learned how to do ahandstand in the shelter.
Okay, in the shelter, you're not worriedabout life, you're just chilling.
So I had time to teachmyself how to do a handstand.
So for three days, I use likesomething like this, like a wall.
Okay.
And I just break, let my body havethat support, rest in the support, feel
how your body feels in that, and theneventually move away from that support.

(01:11:01):
Once you feel your body,how it's supposed to feel.
Straight up and down and justdo that, do that, do that.
Strengthen your, your back,strengthen your core and then
inch away from that wall.
Next thing you know,you're supporting yourself.
I love that.
That, I think that's such agreat, that's like a great skill.
Anyway, handstanding in the apocalypse.
Super, super great.
But also what you just describedas like, do it first with support.

(01:11:26):
And then feel what that feels like.
And I think what that, that kindof brings me full circle back
to the rumble of that's what
we're talking right there.
And, and it's also like, that's whatwe're doing with the rumble, right?
Is we're giving that when, if, if there'sa sold out crowd and they're all popping
and someone's brand new to comedy and theycome up and they do a minute, even if they

(01:11:48):
get, even if they get taken out, they onlyget, get one round, but they get that.
That feeling of,
Oh,
this is what it is, what I'mworking towards is then they
can do that in other places.
Yeah.
I love that.
Right.
Okay.
Um, Laydee Jay, if, uh, thisis your time to promote you.
So is there, is there anything,where can people follow you?

(01:12:11):
Do you have anything?
Follow me.
Follow me.
The real lady.
J the spelling gets tricky,so I'm gonna go through that.
The real T-H-E-R-E-A-L-L-A-Y-D-E-E.
Jesus.
Why?
It's a lot.
The real Laydee Jay.
So L-A-Y-D-E-E.
J A Y.

(01:12:32):
Um, so just find me on Instagram andthat'll lead you down all the things.
TikTok, um, Facebook.
I'm a single mom and we are all artists.
Um, so we sell art.
I have merch, Black in Utah.
So if you just follow me on thatpage, I give you all the things so
you won't be lost once you find me.
You'll settle in.
You'll be good to go.
Um, and I do have some shows coming up.

(01:12:54):
I'm hoping to fill up my 2025calendar with out of state shows.
But here in Utah, of course, I'mgoing to jump back on some good
old rumbles, um, some private gigs.
Um, yeah, I'm kind of venturinginto clean comedy, so it's going
to be new for me, but I'm excited.
Awesome.
Um, and again, y'all, if you want tofollow me, I'm The Fresh King Benjamin

(01:13:14):
on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, alsoComedy Rumble SLC and Comedy Rumble Las
Vegas on Instagram, TikTok, and YouTube.
And, um, coming up this Saturday, we'vegot the last comedy rumble of 2024.
It's on the darkest night of 2024.
It's on the December 21st, thewinter solstice on, uh, at Wiseguys.

(01:13:36):
It's going to be super fun.
So check that out.
And then in two weeks on the 28th,we're doing our last rumble in Vegas.
Uh, that's, that one'sgoing to be super fun.
Cause it's going to be, we'recalling it our girls and gays.
Um, Rumble.
So it's a lineup of girlsand a lineup of gays.
And so it's gonna be sparklysequins and nails painted for that.

(01:13:57):
So I'm hoping that someone has likea sequin jacket for me to wear.
It's gonna be rad.
I'll probably bring my mermaid mug.
Do it.
Obviously.
And, uh, yeah, so the 28th inVegas and the 21st in Salt Lake.
And, uh, Laydee Jay, thanksso much for coming on.
Thank you so much for having me, Ben.
Absolutely.
And everyone stay safe out there.

(01:14:17):
Remember, it's the apocalypse.