023 | Ingrid Clayton: Fawning, Trauma, & the Healing Path Home to Self

Dr. Ingrid Clayton – clinical psychologist, author, and complex trauma survivor – joins Molly to explore what it really means to heal from the fawn response (a trauma pattern that teaches compassionate people to abandon themselves to stay safe). Ingrid opens up about her new book, Fawning: Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves and How to Find Our Way Back, offering insights into how the need to please can lead you away from your true self.

Together, Molly and Ingrid discuss why fawning is a nervous system adaptation, not a personality flaw, and how laughter, creativity, and embodied practices can restore a sense of self after relational trauma. They also examine spiritual bypassing, toxic positivity, and the cultural forces that keep compassionate people over-giving and disconnected from their truth.

If you’ve ever felt yourself disappearing into relationships, or you’re trying to find your way back home to yourself, this episode is for you!

 

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In this chat, Molly and Ingrid uncover:

• the fawn response as a survival strategy, not pathology, and how it intertwines with attachment and early relational trauma.
• why “people-pleasing” and “codependency” miss the systemic and trauma roots.
• spiritual bypassing and toxic positivity as hidden self-abandonment.
• nervous system healing through EMDR, IFS, and body-based awareness.
• how true healing helps reclaim self, agency, and authenticity.

 

Today’s Guest:

Ingrid Clayton, PhD, is a psychologist and author who specializes in the intersection of spirituality, addiction, and trauma. Her latest book, Fawning, shines a light on an often-overlooked trauma response, fawning, and delves into what it is, why it happens, and how survivors can reclaim their voice and sense of self. Her memoir, Believing Me, chronicles her personal awakening to a traumatic past, while Recovering Spirituality explores how spiritual bypassing can hinder true healing in recovery. Learn more at: https://www.ingridclayton.com/, and connect with Ingrid on Instagram @ingridclaytonphd.

 

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