March 7, 2025 • 29 mins
In this empowering episode, Gia welcomes Whitney Faires, an internationally recognized coach, keynote speaker, and leadership expert. With over two decades of experience in the healthcare industry, Whitney shares her journey from corporate executive to passionate coach, dedicated to helping individuals unlock their full potential and thrive both personally and professionally.
Join Gia and Whitney as they dive deep into the challenges of self-doubt that many high-achievers face, exploring the critical role of mindset in overcoming obstacles and achieving extraordinary levels of performance. Whitney offers invaluable insights on how to confront negative thoughts, embrace emotions, and cultivate a positive narrative that empowers you to take bold steps toward your goals.
Discover the importance of self-validation and how to redefine success on your own terms, moving away from external validation to a more fulfilling internal compass. Whitney emphasizes the power of choice and the courage it takes to bet on yourself, reminding us that the journey of self-discovery and growth is ongoing.
Whether you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this episode is packed with actionable strategies and inspiration to help you step into your next chapter with authentic confidence. Tune in and learn how to rewrite the rules of success for yourself!
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm your host,
Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for tuning in today. I am excited to
(00:43):
introduce you to Whitney Faires Whitney is
an internationally recognized coach, keynote speaker, and leadership expert
who empowers her clients to overcome obstacles and achieve extraordinary
levels of performance with greater fulfillment. With two
decades of experience in the healthcare industry, Whitney has built a
reputation as a leading authority in developing high-performing teams
(01:05):
and coaching industry executives worldwide. A former
corporate executive and professional certified coach, she is
passionate about helping people master their mindset to unlock
their full potential and thrive both personally and
professionally. Whitney, so happy to have you join us today. Welcome
to the show. Thank you for having me, Gia. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, excited
(01:25):
to chat with you today. So before we dig in, tell our
listeners a little bit about your background and kind of what
Yeah, absolutely. So the work that I do today, as you mentioned, I'm
an executive coach. I also partner closely with organizations to
help develop their leaders. And I kind of came to
this work through a very roundabout way. You know, after
(01:48):
20 years in MedDevice, I had so many great
experiences. One of the things that I constantly kept
coming back to as I led teams, as I launched new functions, as
I supported the CFO. One thing that I kept coming back to was there
were so many people that really want to
have better results in their career. And maybe that's
(02:10):
actually performing in the job. But for a lot of people, it's
just feeling confident in their role. feeling like they are the title of
a COO or they are the COO that matches
their title, that when they show up, they are really proud of
who they are and that they're poised to lead their team and
to lead the organization effectively. And so, you
(02:31):
know, I'll back up just slightly. But I spent
my first 12 years really in sales and sales leadership. And
I love the job. But at one point I
kind of said, what does my next 10 years look like? Where do I want to
be 10 years from now? And that was a really defining question for
me because just so often we jump into a career and
(02:52):
we just keep rising because if we're good at our jobs, people want us to take on
more. And that was kind of my story. But I looked at it and I said, in
10 years, I hope that I'm leading a major organization.
I'm on track to become an executive. And I really
felt to round out my skills, I needed to pivot to learn the
corporate side of the business and not just the sales side. And so I
(03:13):
jumped inside of our organization and I got
to launch a new function to really figure out
how we could offer our customers creative ways to acquire technology. And
so this little idea that everyone said, we don't know if it's going to
stick, we don't know if it has value, but we need someone to go try and solve
this problem. My counterpart and I Nick Santore, we
built this thing into a global function over six years. And it was the
(03:36):
work I was most proud of, but I missed the development and the
people side that I had in sales. And actually
through my development planning in that role, I decided
I wanted to become a certified coach and I wanted to launch internal coaching at
intuitive, which was the company I was at at the time. And then kind
of the rest was history. I did the work that I loved and
(03:57):
work that I felt prepared me for the next phase of my career and
then a job organically popped up in the org to actually do
a full time. And so I spent the next three and a half years coaching, leading org
health functions, being the chief of staff to the CFO. And finally
I made the really tough decision, which is where do I want to spend the
majority of my time every day? And it was on the people. And so I
(04:17):
decided to launch my own company and finally make this dream I had years
That's incredible. And I know the first time you and I had spoken, I
felt very connected in the sense that our backgrounds are very similar,
having, you know, been in the corporate world in health care, you
know, and then really finding our passion in helping other
people to develop and really turning to that passion, right?
(04:41):
And creating that next chapter, which is very challenging
as you know, and can be very scary, but also very rewarding. So
Yeah. Yeah. It is definitely not lost on me that I was
very fortunate to have some phenomenal leaders. I also
learned from some of the ones that weren't so phenomenal too, you know, in what,
who I wanted to be and maybe who I didn't. But I also had some great mentors. And
(05:03):
I look back on my career and I really owe
a lot of my success to other people taking an active role in my
development. And that's what motivates me to do what I do. Not everyone is
so lucky to be in a company that believes in
investing in their people or has the time to invest in their people. So
the people that really want to make it a priority, they find me. And whether
(05:23):
their company engages me or they engage me, it's a
Absolutely. And, you know, you touched upon something really important
that I think resonates with our listeners that I
want to go back to, which is you work hard, you
get rewarded. Your reward is usually some sort of
financial compensation, maybe a bigger title, but almost always more
(05:45):
work, more responsibility. And,
you know, we rise through the ranks and sometimes you
even make it to, you know, that pinnacle position of a C-suite,
right, or a vice president level. But so many of
us, women and men, because I see it in both, still
struggle with that crippling self-doubt.
(06:09):
100%. I would love to know what your
take is on that through your, you know, either personal experience
or through your professional coaching experience. Why do so many
of us struggle with that and how do we work through it?
Yeah. Um, we could talk for this for hours, but why
do we struggle with it? Well, you go, just go back to the reality and
(06:30):
the statistics show that the average person has over
60,000 thoughts per day. Now, I would tell you honestly, I
feel like I have 60,000 thoughts before noon because
I get an early start to the day and try to get the kids out the door and get
ready for work and be locked in. Sounds like my brain at 2 a.m. Exactly,
exactly. But truth, we all, our minds
(06:52):
are constantly going, even when we don't really hear what
our mind's telling us. And so what's even more interesting is
that 75% of our thoughts are actually negative.
and 95% are repetitive. And so if
you stop and think about that, we're telling ourselves a
story. on repeat, it's constant.
(07:13):
We are telling ourselves a story. And so the first question that I
started asking myself, even before I found this data was like, what is
that story that I am telling myself? Because I think
sometimes you feel the story before you actually have the
awareness to truly hear it and listen. So you feel like,
I don't know if I should go for that job. You just feel off about whatever
(07:36):
you're about to embark on. having a hard conversation, or
maybe it's even something personal, right? You have to discuss something challenging
with your spouse. So we feel the emotion first,
oftentimes, and then we hear it. And that's where
you really start to be like, okay, this is that doubt creeping in.
And so I think how I have always approached it, and I will tell
(07:57):
you, This is a marathon, like an ultra marathon. It
is not a sprint. All of my clients I work with, I
would say almost 100% of them, we work on mindset.
And some of it, it's more of that self-doubt to self-empowerment. Others,
it's more awareness of it or intentionality around our mindset.
But mindset is, it affects all of us. And it's a critical tool to continue
(08:18):
to sharpen your skills and develop your ability to manage your
mindset. But when I, for me, and for a lot of my clients on that journey
of self-doubt, it's about a couple of things. One, having
a really solid discipline to listening to it.
Because oftentimes if we feel it, but we don't really take the time to listen
because we just want to just move on, it's like brewing below the surface. So
(08:39):
you have to confront it like you would any other conflict. So let's say
that I'm debating raising my hand for a job and I'm just
feeling like, I don't know if I should, I don't know if I should. And it's like, so let's,
let's have the conversation with ourselves. Like what is going through my mind? What
are my, what are my fears? What makes me think, yes, go ahead
or no. Here are all the reasons why not. And then
(09:00):
I encourage people to look for facts or evidence to
prove or disprove it. Because sometimes our self doubt raises a
little flag and it's for a good reason. It's like, hey, before
we go forward, let's make sure we're really tight on
this thing here. Other times, our self-doubt is very unproductive.
I like to break it down and make it simple. Sometimes our self-doubt just tells us lies. And
(09:22):
so the way that we can really wrap our mind around, is it real
or not, is to look back in our history and go, is
there evidence or any data support that I should believe this about
myself? And if the answer is no, you got to be willing to
see that and say, okay, I'm going to trust that and I'm going to move ahead. And
so it's these small intentional practices, the discipline of hearing it,
(09:42):
and then also the ability to trust it,
that I think set you up for success. The other thing I always like to tell
people is, you know, emotions are, they often get blanked
as negative, like emotions in the workplace, or this person's emotional. We
are human, so you might as well embrace emotion. But
I think the key is, especially when going from self-doubt to self-empowerment
(10:03):
is being able to separate the emotion from what's actually happening. We
may have a lot of feelings, but it may not align
with actually what problem we're trying to solve or what doubt we're trying
to figure out. And so being able to separate and say, I
feel all these feelings, but here's really the situation that I'm
faced with. I'm looking at raising my hand for that job. And
(10:25):
I, I'm afraid I'm going to fail. Okay. But
I actually have raised my hand for a lot of jobs and I've been successful. So
why would this one be any different? I was actually tapped on the shoulder for
this job. And someone said, Hey, we think you'd be a great fit. Further silences
that self-doubt that I can't do it in that fear. And you just look for
all the things that it's not to support your position. It's actually to
(10:45):
help you evaluate your position. Is a self-doubt real or
Does that make sense? Makes total sense. And I think there's so much value
in what you just said and insight for those of us who struggle with
those narratives, right? I think there's a couple of things I want to just highlight there.
One is, like you said, our brains are wired to keep us
(11:06):
safe, right? So we have a tendency that negativity bias
to remember the negative experiences and not all the positive ones.
So I think pausing to ask ourselves and get really curious as
to what facts are supporting the story that I'm telling myself
right now is important. And a lot of us don't take the time to do
that, right? Because we're too busy, we're on that hamster wheel, we're
(11:27):
going to the next thing. And it's hard to pause and reflect.
Other times, to your point, the feeling that's coming up, either we're
wired to think that the feeling or the emotion is bad or
negative, Or it can be scary. So, you know, oftentimes we sort
of neglect that aspect of it. But the reality is our thoughts
drive the emotion and the emotion is what drive our action.
(11:49):
So if we're not really clear on what the thought is. Right?
Then it's those, the subconscious stories that
Yeah. And, and I will say that there's no mastery of this.
Uh, I am, I have so many people that I've been
on the journey alongside them. I've been on my own journey and there isn't a
(12:10):
day where I don't have self doubt. And I would probably say
there isn't a time where each day I have self doubt that's unproductive that I
manage, but I'm still like, I have probably just pushed that to
the side for now because it, you know, we are just so busy. And
when you're in the middle of a call with a, you know, coworkers and
self doubt creeps in, you can't just like totally pause and play it
all out in your mind. But our ability to come back to that and just
(12:33):
be on the journey of continuous improvement and know that our
lives are so dynamic. that something changes personally or professionally, or
there's just some influence that jars you, it's
probably going to bring up all of that self-doubt again
in a more intense way. And we got to get back to
(12:54):
Yeah, I like that and challenging the thoughts. I also think
that getting really clear on the value that
you bring and coming being able to come back to that is super important.
Right. So I would love your thoughts on like, kind of what is the, you know, the story
we tell ourselves, but what is the essence of the value that we bring to
(13:15):
Yeah. So that's, that's interesting because one of the things that
I talk, talk through with clients is like, what, tell me
if you had a 30 second highlight reel, what would be in that? Yes.
The things that, that when you look at, you're proud of that
make you unique at create value for the people around you,
what would be in there? And for a lot of people, it's super awkward. They're like,
(13:36):
you know, I don't, I'm not sure, but we
have to know what our highlight reel is because guess what? When we
have to step up and do something hard, We need to be able to lean on that. And
I think it is so powerful when you
can, it's almost a vulnerability where you're willing to
say, I'm going to just for a moment, see myself through
(13:57):
the eyes of others. Because what do we see? We see that
this thing that we did went 90% well, but 10%, I
was bummed about the outcome. Or like, I'm really proud of the progress,
but it wasn't the exact result that I wanted. We see the
gaps, we see the misses, but everyone else around us typically
sees that the 90% that went well. And so when you
(14:18):
can actually accept the great things that you bring, the
value you create, it's really game-changing for your ability to
evaluate your self-doubt effectively because You
don't just see the self-doubt and hear that. You also are
Absolutely. I think that's such great advice. That sizzle reel, right? And
(14:40):
it's like you said, that highlight reel, right? What are the things that you do
better than anyone? And getting really clear on what your superpower is.
And I think if you can anchor yourself in that, to your point, the self-doubt doesn't go
away. It's always going to be there. For sure. You know, even the most successful,
quote unquote, successful people experience it. And so it's
really what do you do with it? How do you how do you work through it? And
(15:01):
having those anchors, those, you know, your value statement, your
sizzle reel, knowing your superpowers and really knowing the value you
bring to others is so incredibly powerful. So
Yeah. And I think it's as we, we rise in our careers, this
becomes incredibly important. I mean, I think it's important at any level.
I mean, I work on this with my, my kids who are eight and 10 is
(15:23):
managing that self doubt. We talk about it a lot, the voice that we have in our head, but
when you start leading people and then making big
business decisions, whatever you do, it's imperative that you're really,
you really know yourself well, that you're grounded and
your strengths and your weaknesses, you know, your tendencies, you
can navigate that emotion, that emotional mastery is critical, because people
(15:44):
are looking at you to lead to help people on their
journey, the same journey you're on to make big decisions. And
so I always say that the work is hard, you have to
find what motivates you to just, you know, go through the
mud and just one step at a time, stumble a
little bit, get back up, start to hit your groove with being
able to manage that because it's It's important for
(16:08):
so many reasons. And if you, if you are someone who wants to do more and
create this. you know, really bright future for yourself, you're
Mm hmm. Yeah, it's so important. So I know a lot of the work that
you do is rooted in mindset. So talk to us a little bit
more about, you know, the role that mindset plays in
helping us to create that future we want, right? Maybe we feel stuck, maybe
(16:29):
we're not exactly happy, or maybe we're successful on the outside, but not so
not feeling so fulfilled on the inside. What is
the role of our mindset in shifting from that
Yeah, yeah. Mindset is absolutely essential. And
I think that we look at it and we say, okay, I can
(16:50):
do this. I'll just go do the thing and I'll
be successful. And you kind of push it down, but you don't actually reframe
whatever that negative thinking is into something more powerful. You
have to address it, right? So there's this part
of mindset that is really hard for people because you first have
to be honest with yourself. You do. You have to be honest about
(17:12):
how you view things. And some people are more optimistic to
a point that they maybe don't want to actually be aware
of the potential negatives. And others, I, one, tend
to be a bit more, my mindset's a bit more negative and have had
to work to really reframe it and find the opportunity
in all of the struggles that we face because there is opportunity. We learn
(17:35):
and we grow when we have a diversity, when we're doing something very hard,
and when we're putting ourselves out there, there's growth in that. So A
piece of the first piece of mindset, in my opinion, is really just acknowledging
and owning what your mindset is without the judgment that it's right
or wrong. It just is what it is like anything else about us.
And then we can decide what is an effective mindset look like for
(17:57):
us, that something that's authentic to who we are and that also is
going to serve where we want to go as people and as professionals and
as parents, all the aspects of our life. And I think there's just this
intentionality about knowing where you are and then knowing Okay,
if I could live every day with this positive narrative, this solid
mindset in my head, what would that look like? And then that gives you
(18:18):
the ability to say, what do I have to do to get there? So it's just
really essential that we're able to hear what's
happening in our minds and make the choice of
how we're actually going to change whatever it is
that we don't like about our mindset into something that is empowering to
us. The last thing I'd say on that is the power of choice is real. I
was listening to a podcast that you did with, I
(18:41):
think it was Tia Graham, right? And talking about people choose to be happy.
And I totally agree with that. I think the power of choice is so significant
for people. It's underestimated because it's true.
We can choose. We're going to show up for work every day after our morning
has blown up with kids and emails that
started early and you didn't get your workout in and you're not feeling yourself.
(19:03):
We can choose. We're going to show up and be the best version of ourselves or
we can choose to really be the best we can
be in that moment. And I think that it's
really significant. People who have sustainable success,
know how to make the choices to get them where they want to go. And part
of that is when we go to do the really hard things, we got
(19:24):
to bet on ourselves. We got to choose to believe we've got this and
that everything we've done has prepared us. So just like you choose happiness, you
can choose doing the hard things to propel you
Yeah, I think that's such powerful advice. And drawing from your own
experience, I would say, and I get asked this question a lot, but I'll ask
you is, you know, what helped you shift right
(19:46):
out of your corporate job corporate leader for so many years,
right? Sometimes our identity is very tied to our job and
our role. What helped you to transition into
a completely new career, you know, and really reinvent
Yeah. Wow. I wish I could give a really pretty
answer to that. It was, it was messy. It took me a long time.
(20:10):
I had this vision of putting
my passion and my purpose into people years ago. 2016 is I
think when it first kind of came up and I got some experiences with coaching
in the business setting. I was an athlete my whole life. So the
role, the idea of a coach and how they influence and
impact people was always very near and dear to my heart. And
(20:31):
when I saw it really come alive in the business space, it
just caught my attention. And so really for probably four
years, it was resistance. You know, I resisted the
change and I resisted it for partially because of all the
self-doubt, but because I felt it was selfish to
do something that I wanted to do, but created risk for the
(20:52):
people I cared about the most. Financially, what if it didn't work? I
have to, you know, go get a coaching certification. That's a year long
program at the time. While I was working, I was going to take time away from
my kids. I had you know, babies at that time. And I
thought to myself, I can't. It may make me happy, but it puts people
I care about the most at risk. And it took some time for me
(21:13):
to realize that I had to put myself in the shoes of,
if my kids came to me and asked me this question, Or if someone who
worked for me came to me asking this question, I would say, you deserve to
have the life that you want to. So, so the
question becomes, how do you do it in a way that. You're
far enough outside of your comfort zone to make it happen, but you,
(21:33):
you feel confident in your approach to doing that. And
so it was just, it was just a long process of, of really confronting
head on all the fears that I had. I might fail. I might
not make enough money. Maybe I don't love it. Like I think I'll love it. And
then just knocking those off one by one, managing them
as they come up. And then it was like, I felt good once
(21:54):
I had wrapped my mind around that because I had so much planning and
work put into it. I was just excited to see it finally come
alive. But I will tell you probably one
of the most nervous times in my life, one of my top, I
would say top 10 points was driving to the office to
tell my company I was leaving. And it was because nothing was wrong.
(22:14):
Nothing was wrong. It was my favorite job I ever did when
I resigned from my corporate role. I had an amazing team.
I was contributing to the development of thousands of people. The
travel was a little intense. I will say that. That was a downside. because
I was going to California a lot. But I said to myself, like, am I sure about this?
Why? But I think I was so rooted in
(22:36):
my purpose for what I was doing next. And I just felt
this pull to go do it. And so it forced me to step outside of
my comfort zone and have the courage when I needed to, to do
the hard things. And I will say, I experienced
the first few months as an entrepreneur, number one, why
they say it's not for everyone. It's hard and it's lonely. It
(22:57):
is a lonely journey. So there's an adjustment where you go from being
on Zoom calls and in meetings eight hours a day, back to back to back to
back. where you have all these people surrounding you, it's just
you. And so I had to kind of pause and
redefine what success looked like on a day-to-day basis
and disconnect that because I wasn't talking all
(23:19):
day long, solving problems for other people, helping my team, that
I was still... This was the new view of success and creating
those metrics and just giving myself some grace to ease into
it. So It's definitely, I think, a process to
disconnect your identity from whatever job or whatever thing you're
(23:40):
Yeah. I love your thoughtful and in-depth response
to that because there's a lot of power in purpose, right? And so
I think that when you feel that pull, when you feel that nudge,
when you feel that tug, so important to get curious with
it. Because a lot of times we just again, keep going,
keep on keep, you know, keep on going and we forget. uh,
(24:01):
to, to, to tap back into that and really get curious with what that nudge is.
So I love that, that you stepped into that and embraced it. And of course it's
not, it's not an easy journey, but certainly rewarding and
fulfilling. So I'm glad you brought up the topic of success. Cause
as you know, we talk about success and redefining success on this show. So
Whitney, I would love to know from your perspective, how do you define success for yourself
(24:25):
Yeah. Well, for me, success is
being able to look at the goals that I have set for myself, which
some of those are metrics-based, like outcome-based, but
also a lot of those revolve around how I
do what I'm doing, how I'm showing up as a mom, am
I being present, my ability to you know, take tough news
(24:47):
in the workplace and handle it with grace and not become overly emotional
or, you know, brought down by it. So I'm looking at not
just the outcomes, but, but how, how am I getting there? And
also my level of fulfillment and enjoyment in the
process. So, you know, I've shifted my view of success so
much for a couple of reasons. The first is that I
(25:08):
would say for the first, I don't know, 30 years of my life, sadly,
so much of my view of success was either how others viewed
me or the praise that I got, the visible outcomes that,
okay, you won a medal, you got the job.
It was all the external stuff. And I can tell you, uh, that's
a, that's. That's quite the ride because you're
(25:31):
not going to get a pat on the back every time you do something good.
And so it leaves all these moments where you're like, I think that was good,
but they didn't notice. They didn't say that was a great job.
And I really shifted to being my own barometer
for success. Do I feel good about how I did that? Am
I proud of how I showed up? Did I do everything that I could
(25:53):
to drive the best outcome? And I think
you just know when it's driven internally
and you're willing to tell yourself the hard truth when you
weren't successful, but also acknowledge like, I
crushed that. That's, I feel like a
more balanced place to approach success from. It
(26:13):
doesn't mean I'm not human and I don't look at somebody and
think, gosh, I wish my business was there. Of course,
I still compare myself at times. But I have to come back to,
this is the view of success I have for myself. And am
I on, am I tracking and making progress towards getting there? The
one last point I make about that is, I think too often success, we
(26:34):
put all of our view of success in these big moments,
these big milestones. And for high performers, that
is exhausting, right? Because let's take like
a salesperson. You have a quota for the year and your
view of success for that year hinges on what percent of
that number you hit. And you could do all the right things
(26:56):
and have a great year, but
miss by just a little. And it's like, was that not successful?
Of course not. You know, so you have to, I think, define success,
not just in the big milestones, but the touch
points along the way, who you are when you're doing it, and
(27:18):
Yeah. Two really powerful takeaways there, I would say. One
is the self-validation. And for many high-achieving women
and men, shifting from that external validation to that
internal validation is really game-changing. And
then the second thing that I think is really powerful in what you just said is
the smaller moments and wins that we don't stop to
(27:38):
acknowledge and appreciate the impact we're making on others along
For sure. So thank you for that. Just as we wrap up, Whitney, if
there's one message or takeaway you want listeners to
Yeah, I would say have the courage in
(28:00):
the moments where you envision something big for yourself to
bet on yourself, to believe you can do it. I truly think
that the only person that needs to believe in you is yourself. It is so
great to have all these people cheering you on and telling
you you can do it, but it starts and stops with you. And
so have the courage to, to get out there, go all in
(28:22):
on yourself and chase, chase the big things that
Yeah, you can find me on LinkedIn and Instagram, Whitney underscore Faires.
And then of course on my website at whitneyfaires.com. So there's lots of good stuff
I want to thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights and your expertise. Of
(28:44):
course, you can visit my website at gialacqua.com, reach out on Instagram
at giallacqua. Let us know what topics you'd like to hear about on
future episodes. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your
time and energy. Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until
next time, your next chapter is waiting. That concludes another empowering
episode of Your Future Starts Now. Before we wrap up, I
(29:04):
wanna thank this incredible community of high-achieving women. Your
energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
(29:26):
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm your host,
Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for tuning in today. I am excited to
(00:43):
introduce you to Whitney Faires Whitney is
an internationally recognized coach, keynote speaker, and leadership expert
who empowers her clients to overcome obstacles and achieve extraordinary
levels of performance with greater fulfillment. With two
decades of experience in the healthcare industry, Whitney has built a
reputation as a leading authority in developing high-performing teams
(01:05):
and coaching industry executives worldwide. A former
corporate executive and professional certified coach, she is
passionate about helping people master their mindset to unlock
their full potential and thrive both personally and
professionally. Whitney, so happy to have you join us today. Welcome
to the show. Thank you for having me, Gia. I'm excited to be here. Yeah, excited
(01:25):
to chat with you today. So before we dig in, tell our
listeners a little bit about your background and kind of what
Yeah, absolutely. So the work that I do today, as you mentioned, I'm
an executive coach. I also partner closely with organizations to
help develop their leaders. And I kind of came to
this work through a very roundabout way. You know, after
(01:48):
20 years in MedDevice, I had so many great
experiences. One of the things that I constantly kept
coming back to as I led teams, as I launched new functions, as
I supported the CFO. One thing that I kept coming back to was there
were so many people that really want to
have better results in their career. And maybe that's
(02:10):
actually performing in the job. But for a lot of people, it's
just feeling confident in their role. feeling like they are the title of
a COO or they are the COO that matches
their title, that when they show up, they are really proud of
who they are and that they're poised to lead their team and
to lead the organization effectively. And so, you
(02:31):
know, I'll back up just slightly. But I spent
my first 12 years really in sales and sales leadership. And
I love the job. But at one point I
kind of said, what does my next 10 years look like? Where do I want to
be 10 years from now? And that was a really defining question for
me because just so often we jump into a career and
(02:52):
we just keep rising because if we're good at our jobs, people want us to take on
more. And that was kind of my story. But I looked at it and I said, in
10 years, I hope that I'm leading a major organization.
I'm on track to become an executive. And I really
felt to round out my skills, I needed to pivot to learn the
corporate side of the business and not just the sales side. And so I
(03:13):
jumped inside of our organization and I got
to launch a new function to really figure out
how we could offer our customers creative ways to acquire technology. And
so this little idea that everyone said, we don't know if it's going to
stick, we don't know if it has value, but we need someone to go try and solve
this problem. My counterpart and I Nick Santore, we
built this thing into a global function over six years. And it was the
(03:36):
work I was most proud of, but I missed the development and the
people side that I had in sales. And actually
through my development planning in that role, I decided
I wanted to become a certified coach and I wanted to launch internal coaching at
intuitive, which was the company I was at at the time. And then kind
of the rest was history. I did the work that I loved and
(03:57):
work that I felt prepared me for the next phase of my career and
then a job organically popped up in the org to actually do
a full time. And so I spent the next three and a half years coaching, leading org
health functions, being the chief of staff to the CFO. And finally
I made the really tough decision, which is where do I want to spend the
majority of my time every day? And it was on the people. And so I
(04:17):
decided to launch my own company and finally make this dream I had years
That's incredible. And I know the first time you and I had spoken, I
felt very connected in the sense that our backgrounds are very similar,
having, you know, been in the corporate world in health care, you
know, and then really finding our passion in helping other
people to develop and really turning to that passion, right?
(04:41):
And creating that next chapter, which is very challenging
as you know, and can be very scary, but also very rewarding. So
Yeah. Yeah. It is definitely not lost on me that I was
very fortunate to have some phenomenal leaders. I also
learned from some of the ones that weren't so phenomenal too, you know, in what,
who I wanted to be and maybe who I didn't. But I also had some great mentors. And
(05:03):
I look back on my career and I really owe
a lot of my success to other people taking an active role in my
development. And that's what motivates me to do what I do. Not everyone is
so lucky to be in a company that believes in
investing in their people or has the time to invest in their people. So
the people that really want to make it a priority, they find me. And whether
(05:23):
their company engages me or they engage me, it's a
Absolutely. And, you know, you touched upon something really important
that I think resonates with our listeners that I
want to go back to, which is you work hard, you
get rewarded. Your reward is usually some sort of
financial compensation, maybe a bigger title, but almost always more
(05:45):
work, more responsibility. And,
you know, we rise through the ranks and sometimes you
even make it to, you know, that pinnacle position of a C-suite,
right, or a vice president level. But so many of
us, women and men, because I see it in both, still
struggle with that crippling self-doubt.
(06:09):
100%. I would love to know what your
take is on that through your, you know, either personal experience
or through your professional coaching experience. Why do so many
of us struggle with that and how do we work through it?
Yeah. Um, we could talk for this for hours, but why
do we struggle with it? Well, you go, just go back to the reality and
(06:30):
the statistics show that the average person has over
60,000 thoughts per day. Now, I would tell you honestly, I
feel like I have 60,000 thoughts before noon because
I get an early start to the day and try to get the kids out the door and get
ready for work and be locked in. Sounds like my brain at 2 a.m. Exactly,
exactly. But truth, we all, our minds
(06:52):
are constantly going, even when we don't really hear what
our mind's telling us. And so what's even more interesting is
that 75% of our thoughts are actually negative.
and 95% are repetitive. And so if
you stop and think about that, we're telling ourselves a
story. on repeat, it's constant.
(07:13):
We are telling ourselves a story. And so the first question that I
started asking myself, even before I found this data was like, what is
that story that I am telling myself? Because I think
sometimes you feel the story before you actually have the
awareness to truly hear it and listen. So you feel like,
I don't know if I should go for that job. You just feel off about whatever
(07:36):
you're about to embark on. having a hard conversation, or
maybe it's even something personal, right? You have to discuss something challenging
with your spouse. So we feel the emotion first,
oftentimes, and then we hear it. And that's where
you really start to be like, okay, this is that doubt creeping in.
And so I think how I have always approached it, and I will tell
(07:57):
you, This is a marathon, like an ultra marathon. It
is not a sprint. All of my clients I work with, I
would say almost 100% of them, we work on mindset.
And some of it, it's more of that self-doubt to self-empowerment. Others,
it's more awareness of it or intentionality around our mindset.
But mindset is, it affects all of us. And it's a critical tool to continue
(08:18):
to sharpen your skills and develop your ability to manage your
mindset. But when I, for me, and for a lot of my clients on that journey
of self-doubt, it's about a couple of things. One, having
a really solid discipline to listening to it.
Because oftentimes if we feel it, but we don't really take the time to listen
because we just want to just move on, it's like brewing below the surface. So
(08:39):
you have to confront it like you would any other conflict. So let's say
that I'm debating raising my hand for a job and I'm just
feeling like, I don't know if I should, I don't know if I should. And it's like, so let's,
let's have the conversation with ourselves. Like what is going through my mind? What
are my, what are my fears? What makes me think, yes, go ahead
or no. Here are all the reasons why not. And then
(09:00):
I encourage people to look for facts or evidence to
prove or disprove it. Because sometimes our self doubt raises a
little flag and it's for a good reason. It's like, hey, before
we go forward, let's make sure we're really tight on
this thing here. Other times, our self-doubt is very unproductive.
I like to break it down and make it simple. Sometimes our self-doubt just tells us lies. And
(09:22):
so the way that we can really wrap our mind around, is it real
or not, is to look back in our history and go, is
there evidence or any data support that I should believe this about
myself? And if the answer is no, you got to be willing to
see that and say, okay, I'm going to trust that and I'm going to move ahead. And
so it's these small intentional practices, the discipline of hearing it,
(09:42):
and then also the ability to trust it,
that I think set you up for success. The other thing I always like to tell
people is, you know, emotions are, they often get blanked
as negative, like emotions in the workplace, or this person's emotional. We
are human, so you might as well embrace emotion. But
I think the key is, especially when going from self-doubt to self-empowerment
(10:03):
is being able to separate the emotion from what's actually happening. We
may have a lot of feelings, but it may not align
with actually what problem we're trying to solve or what doubt we're trying
to figure out. And so being able to separate and say, I
feel all these feelings, but here's really the situation that I'm
faced with. I'm looking at raising my hand for that job. And
(10:25):
I, I'm afraid I'm going to fail. Okay. But
I actually have raised my hand for a lot of jobs and I've been successful. So
why would this one be any different? I was actually tapped on the shoulder for
this job. And someone said, Hey, we think you'd be a great fit. Further silences
that self-doubt that I can't do it in that fear. And you just look for
all the things that it's not to support your position. It's actually to
(10:45):
help you evaluate your position. Is a self-doubt real or
Does that make sense? Makes total sense. And I think there's so much value
in what you just said and insight for those of us who struggle with
those narratives, right? I think there's a couple of things I want to just highlight there.
One is, like you said, our brains are wired to keep us
(11:06):
safe, right? So we have a tendency that negativity bias
to remember the negative experiences and not all the positive ones.
So I think pausing to ask ourselves and get really curious as
to what facts are supporting the story that I'm telling myself
right now is important. And a lot of us don't take the time to do
that, right? Because we're too busy, we're on that hamster wheel, we're
(11:27):
going to the next thing. And it's hard to pause and reflect.
Other times, to your point, the feeling that's coming up, either we're
wired to think that the feeling or the emotion is bad or
negative, Or it can be scary. So, you know, oftentimes we sort
of neglect that aspect of it. But the reality is our thoughts
drive the emotion and the emotion is what drive our action.
(11:49):
So if we're not really clear on what the thought is. Right?
Then it's those, the subconscious stories that
Yeah. And, and I will say that there's no mastery of this.
Uh, I am, I have so many people that I've been
on the journey alongside them. I've been on my own journey and there isn't a
(12:10):
day where I don't have self doubt. And I would probably say
there isn't a time where each day I have self doubt that's unproductive that I
manage, but I'm still like, I have probably just pushed that to
the side for now because it, you know, we are just so busy. And
when you're in the middle of a call with a, you know, coworkers and
self doubt creeps in, you can't just like totally pause and play it
all out in your mind. But our ability to come back to that and just
(12:33):
be on the journey of continuous improvement and know that our
lives are so dynamic. that something changes personally or professionally, or
there's just some influence that jars you, it's
probably going to bring up all of that self-doubt again
in a more intense way. And we got to get back to
(12:54):
Yeah, I like that and challenging the thoughts. I also think
that getting really clear on the value that
you bring and coming being able to come back to that is super important.
Right. So I would love your thoughts on like, kind of what is the, you know, the story
we tell ourselves, but what is the essence of the value that we bring to
(13:15):
Yeah. So that's, that's interesting because one of the things that
I talk, talk through with clients is like, what, tell me
if you had a 30 second highlight reel, what would be in that? Yes.
The things that, that when you look at, you're proud of that
make you unique at create value for the people around you,
what would be in there? And for a lot of people, it's super awkward. They're like,
(13:36):
you know, I don't, I'm not sure, but we
have to know what our highlight reel is because guess what? When we
have to step up and do something hard, We need to be able to lean on that. And
I think it is so powerful when you
can, it's almost a vulnerability where you're willing to
say, I'm going to just for a moment, see myself through
(13:57):
the eyes of others. Because what do we see? We see that
this thing that we did went 90% well, but 10%, I
was bummed about the outcome. Or like, I'm really proud of the progress,
but it wasn't the exact result that I wanted. We see the
gaps, we see the misses, but everyone else around us typically
sees that the 90% that went well. And so when you
(14:18):
can actually accept the great things that you bring, the
value you create, it's really game-changing for your ability to
evaluate your self-doubt effectively because You
don't just see the self-doubt and hear that. You also are
Absolutely. I think that's such great advice. That sizzle reel, right? And
(14:40):
it's like you said, that highlight reel, right? What are the things that you do
better than anyone? And getting really clear on what your superpower is.
And I think if you can anchor yourself in that, to your point, the self-doubt doesn't go
away. It's always going to be there. For sure. You know, even the most successful,
quote unquote, successful people experience it. And so it's
really what do you do with it? How do you how do you work through it? And
(15:01):
having those anchors, those, you know, your value statement, your
sizzle reel, knowing your superpowers and really knowing the value you
bring to others is so incredibly powerful. So
Yeah. And I think it's as we, we rise in our careers, this
becomes incredibly important. I mean, I think it's important at any level.
I mean, I work on this with my, my kids who are eight and 10 is
(15:23):
managing that self doubt. We talk about it a lot, the voice that we have in our head, but
when you start leading people and then making big
business decisions, whatever you do, it's imperative that you're really,
you really know yourself well, that you're grounded and
your strengths and your weaknesses, you know, your tendencies, you
can navigate that emotion, that emotional mastery is critical, because people
(15:44):
are looking at you to lead to help people on their
journey, the same journey you're on to make big decisions. And
so I always say that the work is hard, you have to
find what motivates you to just, you know, go through the
mud and just one step at a time, stumble a
little bit, get back up, start to hit your groove with being
able to manage that because it's It's important for
(16:08):
so many reasons. And if you, if you are someone who wants to do more and
create this. you know, really bright future for yourself, you're
Mm hmm. Yeah, it's so important. So I know a lot of the work that
you do is rooted in mindset. So talk to us a little bit
more about, you know, the role that mindset plays in
helping us to create that future we want, right? Maybe we feel stuck, maybe
(16:29):
we're not exactly happy, or maybe we're successful on the outside, but not so
not feeling so fulfilled on the inside. What is
the role of our mindset in shifting from that
Yeah, yeah. Mindset is absolutely essential. And
I think that we look at it and we say, okay, I can
(16:50):
do this. I'll just go do the thing and I'll
be successful. And you kind of push it down, but you don't actually reframe
whatever that negative thinking is into something more powerful. You
have to address it, right? So there's this part
of mindset that is really hard for people because you first have
to be honest with yourself. You do. You have to be honest about
(17:12):
how you view things. And some people are more optimistic to
a point that they maybe don't want to actually be aware
of the potential negatives. And others, I, one, tend
to be a bit more, my mindset's a bit more negative and have had
to work to really reframe it and find the opportunity
in all of the struggles that we face because there is opportunity. We learn
(17:35):
and we grow when we have a diversity, when we're doing something very hard,
and when we're putting ourselves out there, there's growth in that. So A
piece of the first piece of mindset, in my opinion, is really just acknowledging
and owning what your mindset is without the judgment that it's right
or wrong. It just is what it is like anything else about us.
And then we can decide what is an effective mindset look like for
(17:57):
us, that something that's authentic to who we are and that also is
going to serve where we want to go as people and as professionals and
as parents, all the aspects of our life. And I think there's just this
intentionality about knowing where you are and then knowing Okay,
if I could live every day with this positive narrative, this solid
mindset in my head, what would that look like? And then that gives you
(18:18):
the ability to say, what do I have to do to get there? So it's just
really essential that we're able to hear what's
happening in our minds and make the choice of
how we're actually going to change whatever it is
that we don't like about our mindset into something that is empowering to
us. The last thing I'd say on that is the power of choice is real. I
was listening to a podcast that you did with, I
(18:41):
think it was Tia Graham, right? And talking about people choose to be happy.
And I totally agree with that. I think the power of choice is so significant
for people. It's underestimated because it's true.
We can choose. We're going to show up for work every day after our morning
has blown up with kids and emails that
started early and you didn't get your workout in and you're not feeling yourself.
(19:03):
We can choose. We're going to show up and be the best version of ourselves or
we can choose to really be the best we can
be in that moment. And I think that it's
really significant. People who have sustainable success,
know how to make the choices to get them where they want to go. And part
of that is when we go to do the really hard things, we got
(19:24):
to bet on ourselves. We got to choose to believe we've got this and
that everything we've done has prepared us. So just like you choose happiness, you
can choose doing the hard things to propel you
Yeah, I think that's such powerful advice. And drawing from your own
experience, I would say, and I get asked this question a lot, but I'll ask
you is, you know, what helped you shift right
(19:46):
out of your corporate job corporate leader for so many years,
right? Sometimes our identity is very tied to our job and
our role. What helped you to transition into
a completely new career, you know, and really reinvent
Yeah. Wow. I wish I could give a really pretty
answer to that. It was, it was messy. It took me a long time.
(20:10):
I had this vision of putting
my passion and my purpose into people years ago. 2016 is I
think when it first kind of came up and I got some experiences with coaching
in the business setting. I was an athlete my whole life. So the
role, the idea of a coach and how they influence and
impact people was always very near and dear to my heart. And
(20:31):
when I saw it really come alive in the business space, it
just caught my attention. And so really for probably four
years, it was resistance. You know, I resisted the
change and I resisted it for partially because of all the
self-doubt, but because I felt it was selfish to
do something that I wanted to do, but created risk for the
(20:52):
people I cared about the most. Financially, what if it didn't work? I
have to, you know, go get a coaching certification. That's a year long
program at the time. While I was working, I was going to take time away from
my kids. I had you know, babies at that time. And I
thought to myself, I can't. It may make me happy, but it puts people
I care about the most at risk. And it took some time for me
(21:13):
to realize that I had to put myself in the shoes of,
if my kids came to me and asked me this question, Or if someone who
worked for me came to me asking this question, I would say, you deserve to
have the life that you want to. So, so the
question becomes, how do you do it in a way that. You're
far enough outside of your comfort zone to make it happen, but you,
(21:33):
you feel confident in your approach to doing that. And
so it was just, it was just a long process of, of really confronting
head on all the fears that I had. I might fail. I might
not make enough money. Maybe I don't love it. Like I think I'll love it. And
then just knocking those off one by one, managing them
as they come up. And then it was like, I felt good once
(21:54):
I had wrapped my mind around that because I had so much planning and
work put into it. I was just excited to see it finally come
alive. But I will tell you probably one
of the most nervous times in my life, one of my top, I
would say top 10 points was driving to the office to
tell my company I was leaving. And it was because nothing was wrong.
(22:14):
Nothing was wrong. It was my favorite job I ever did when
I resigned from my corporate role. I had an amazing team.
I was contributing to the development of thousands of people. The
travel was a little intense. I will say that. That was a downside. because
I was going to California a lot. But I said to myself, like, am I sure about this?
Why? But I think I was so rooted in
(22:36):
my purpose for what I was doing next. And I just felt
this pull to go do it. And so it forced me to step outside of
my comfort zone and have the courage when I needed to, to do
the hard things. And I will say, I experienced
the first few months as an entrepreneur, number one, why
they say it's not for everyone. It's hard and it's lonely. It
(22:57):
is a lonely journey. So there's an adjustment where you go from being
on Zoom calls and in meetings eight hours a day, back to back to back to
back. where you have all these people surrounding you, it's just
you. And so I had to kind of pause and
redefine what success looked like on a day-to-day basis
and disconnect that because I wasn't talking all
(23:19):
day long, solving problems for other people, helping my team, that
I was still... This was the new view of success and creating
those metrics and just giving myself some grace to ease into
it. So It's definitely, I think, a process to
disconnect your identity from whatever job or whatever thing you're
(23:40):
Yeah. I love your thoughtful and in-depth response
to that because there's a lot of power in purpose, right? And so
I think that when you feel that pull, when you feel that nudge,
when you feel that tug, so important to get curious with
it. Because a lot of times we just again, keep going,
keep on keep, you know, keep on going and we forget. uh,
(24:01):
to, to, to tap back into that and really get curious with what that nudge is.
So I love that, that you stepped into that and embraced it. And of course it's
not, it's not an easy journey, but certainly rewarding and
fulfilling. So I'm glad you brought up the topic of success. Cause
as you know, we talk about success and redefining success on this show. So
Whitney, I would love to know from your perspective, how do you define success for yourself
(24:25):
Yeah. Well, for me, success is
being able to look at the goals that I have set for myself, which
some of those are metrics-based, like outcome-based, but
also a lot of those revolve around how I
do what I'm doing, how I'm showing up as a mom, am
I being present, my ability to you know, take tough news
(24:47):
in the workplace and handle it with grace and not become overly emotional
or, you know, brought down by it. So I'm looking at not
just the outcomes, but, but how, how am I getting there? And
also my level of fulfillment and enjoyment in the
process. So, you know, I've shifted my view of success so
much for a couple of reasons. The first is that I
(25:08):
would say for the first, I don't know, 30 years of my life, sadly,
so much of my view of success was either how others viewed
me or the praise that I got, the visible outcomes that,
okay, you won a medal, you got the job.
It was all the external stuff. And I can tell you, uh, that's
a, that's. That's quite the ride because you're
(25:31):
not going to get a pat on the back every time you do something good.
And so it leaves all these moments where you're like, I think that was good,
but they didn't notice. They didn't say that was a great job.
And I really shifted to being my own barometer
for success. Do I feel good about how I did that? Am
I proud of how I showed up? Did I do everything that I could
(25:53):
to drive the best outcome? And I think
you just know when it's driven internally
and you're willing to tell yourself the hard truth when you
weren't successful, but also acknowledge like, I
crushed that. That's, I feel like a
more balanced place to approach success from. It
(26:13):
doesn't mean I'm not human and I don't look at somebody and
think, gosh, I wish my business was there. Of course,
I still compare myself at times. But I have to come back to,
this is the view of success I have for myself. And am
I on, am I tracking and making progress towards getting there? The
one last point I make about that is, I think too often success, we
(26:34):
put all of our view of success in these big moments,
these big milestones. And for high performers, that
is exhausting, right? Because let's take like
a salesperson. You have a quota for the year and your
view of success for that year hinges on what percent of
that number you hit. And you could do all the right things
(26:56):
and have a great year, but
miss by just a little. And it's like, was that not successful?
Of course not. You know, so you have to, I think, define success,
not just in the big milestones, but the touch
points along the way, who you are when you're doing it, and
(27:18):
Yeah. Two really powerful takeaways there, I would say. One
is the self-validation. And for many high-achieving women
and men, shifting from that external validation to that
internal validation is really game-changing. And
then the second thing that I think is really powerful in what you just said is
the smaller moments and wins that we don't stop to
(27:38):
acknowledge and appreciate the impact we're making on others along
For sure. So thank you for that. Just as we wrap up, Whitney, if
there's one message or takeaway you want listeners to
Yeah, I would say have the courage in
(28:00):
the moments where you envision something big for yourself to
bet on yourself, to believe you can do it. I truly think
that the only person that needs to believe in you is yourself. It is so
great to have all these people cheering you on and telling
you you can do it, but it starts and stops with you. And
so have the courage to, to get out there, go all in
(28:22):
on yourself and chase, chase the big things that
Yeah, you can find me on LinkedIn and Instagram, Whitney underscore Faires.
And then of course on my website at whitneyfaires.com. So there's lots of good stuff
I want to thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights and your expertise. Of
(28:44):
course, you can visit my website at gialacqua.com, reach out on Instagram
at giallacqua. Let us know what topics you'd like to hear about on
future episodes. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your
time and energy. Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until
next time, your next chapter is waiting. That concludes another empowering
episode of Your Future Starts Now. Before we wrap up, I
(29:04):
wanna thank this incredible community of high-achieving women. Your
energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
(29:26):
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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