March 21, 2025 • 24 mins
In this empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now, Gia welcomes transformational coach Danita Young, a powerhouse in cognitive performance and personal transformation. With a remarkable background that includes being a nationally qualified bikini competitor and a successful entrepreneur, Danita shares her journey from personal training to becoming a catalyst for change in the lives of women.
Join Gia and Danita as they dive deep into the common challenges faced by high-achieving women, particularly the struggle of getting in their own way. Discover how anxiety, often seen as an enemy, can actually be reframed as a superpower that allows you to feel deeply and connect with your true self. Danita emphasizes the importance of awareness and offers actionable steps to overcome procrastination, stress, and anxiety, empowering you to become unstoppable.
Throughout the conversation, they explore the significance of the vagus nerve in regulating stress and the impact of limiting beliefs on personal growth. Danita provides insightful advice on how to navigate the complexities of emotional well-being, encouraging listeners to find their unique tools for healing and self-discovery.
As they redefine success, Danita highlights the ripple effect of making a positive impact on the world around you. This episode is a must-listen for anyone ready to step into their power and embrace their next chapter with authentic confidence.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you are exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm your host,
Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for joining us. Today, I'm excited to
(00:43):
introduce you to Danita Young. Danita is a transformational coach.
She's a cognitive performance expert, eight-year business owner. She's
got a community list of over 350,000, 15 million
in sales annually. She's a nationally qualified bikini competitor,
a certified personal trainer, and the list goes on. Danita,
(01:07):
Yeah, excited to chat with you today. Before we dive into
the good stuff, tell us a little bit about your background and
Boy, I was a very late bloomer. I had no idea where I
was going. Didn't know what I was going to be when I grew up. I feel like
everybody else was trying to hurry up and run to this race of what
are we going to be when we grow up? And I don't seem to find it.
(01:29):
I was very much a late bloomer. It took me a little bit of some time and
I thought it was personal training. I mean, I thought it was a lot of things, but
ended up in personal training and absolutely loved it.
But what I recognized in personal training is it wasn't
about the amount of nutrition or workouts I gave to individuals. It
came down to, it was a transformation. And that really woke
(01:50):
me up and led me to what I am now. Some people would call it as like
a life coach, but for me, I call it transformation coach. So whatever that
is to people, but I am so aligned with
it and it feels amazing to really have people step into
It's incredible. And I can see the joy and the passion as you talk about the work
When you find it, it's like a gift and you find it and
(02:13):
you can just sit in it. It's beautiful and we all have
it. And it's all about the coming into it, right?
The gift lives through you. And so even though I still got this
gift as personal training, you're not on the wrong path if you're trying
to find yours. It's just eventually like it's The
life and the you come together and it's beautiful when
(02:33):
Absolutely. Love that. So tell us, you work with a lot of women. Tell
us, you know, for middle-aged women dealing with a lot of
Oh, that's a big one. That's a big
Yeah. It is. That kind of sums it up, right?
I could sit and go into all the different things I see, but more
(02:57):
than anything, it's that. It's them not
realizing that the one thing in order to reach their success is
going to be themselves. And so once they find that actually
it's a lot easier, because a hard part when you hear it
yourself, that's annoying, right? We wish it wasn't that way,
but I would say to sum it up, it's almost like your brain and body
(03:19):
are constantly chemically wired, hardwired
to stay safe and to stay in survival and to
stay in protection mechanisms. So that's the part that
I'm saying is the part of you that's working, you're working against
yourself is the part of you that is not wanting to
thrive, not wanting to be successful, not wanting to reach
(03:39):
the goal because it doesn't know it's an unknown territory of,
Yeah, so common for us. And like you said, our brain is wired
and our body's wired to keep us safe. But that often keeps
us where in the familiar, right? And in the known,
which then prevents us from stepping out of that bubble, because
(04:08):
Yeah, no, I think it's an important point. And it's it's
so it's easy to say, right. And then
sometimes once we get to the acknowledgement part of Yeah, that's me, I'm
playing small, and I'm staying safe. What advice would you
It would be to make it simple because simple
makes it doable. I think oftentimes we're in the world of self-development that
(04:32):
is, like you just mentioned, easier said than done. And that can
be so frustrating and we can feel so broken when
we're trying to be positive in a state of
survival. And so my suggestion is by making it
simple, making it doable, I'm going to give very action. I'm
going to give away everything just because I truly believe that
(04:52):
When we are like of one is when we
actually like work together and have like better synergy with
everything. And so my suggestion is that you're either living in
a state of excitement or anxiety. So
think of it as like thriving versus survival. So make it very simple.
It's very, there's so many words to it, but when you just
(05:13):
break it down into that, then no matter what language you've
come into in your life, good, bad, negative, positive, like
whatever it is, right? Keep it simple by just looking at it as two
different circles, if you could say. And then from
there, when you recognize that anxiety and excitement
are actually the same emotion, but it's just how we identify, it's
(05:34):
how we personalize with it, it's how we label it in our head,
well then you recognize we're either living in the past or we're living in the
future. So to simply put this is that is choose a
word that allows you to feel excited and also to
feel expanded at the same time. Now my word is adventure and
that's where I'm at right now is because I have fun. I
(05:54):
have fun what I do in my gift. I adventure into the unknowns and
I open myself up and that's where more success is. So
that's how I would tell people to get through that is find a word that
one word that resonates most with them that ignites
Yeah, I think that's such great advice in terms of thinking about
(06:15):
where you want to be where you want to go and something that kind of pulls you
right and gives you that that draw. Love
that. So you talk about I know you mentioned survival mode and anxiety when
there's a lot of good stuff we can dive into. So I'm going to start
with the anxiety piece. I think so many women deal
with anxiety just because of the overwhelm, you know, whether it's hormonal related
(06:36):
because of you know, menopause, premenopause, whether it's because
of childhood trauma or something else. Talk
to us. I love you. You say that enemy or anxiety is
not your enemy. It's your superpower. I would
Take a deep breath on that one. I freaking love it. I love it. Because it
(06:57):
is. And once you recognize that it is, it's about taking your power back.
That's what it is. So anxiety in my world, my
line of work and working with individuals is this. You feel
deeply. You might be an empath. You might actually
be more of a fourth dimension being than you are a third dimension. Because
the fourth dimension is invisible. And what are emotions? They're invisible. And
(07:18):
so you work in the wrong dimension, honey. So
when you elevate yourself into knowing how to work within
the invisible, the rules change. You're working
in the quantum field. You're working in what manifestation really
is. And you are powerful. Now, just
because you don't have those tools doesn't mean you're broken. It means you
(07:39):
can just feel very deeply. It means you care. so
deeply because you're so worried all the time. It just means
you freaking care. You have a really big heart. So
stop hearing this advice that you're broken. There's something wrong with
Yeah, it's a beautiful reframe. I love that. I think
there's a lot of truth to that in terms of the deeply feeling and
(08:01):
the emotions. And it can also be a gift. But to your point, you
Right now, it feels like a curse. Yeah. And
so sometimes we have to have that reframe, but yes, the gift and
a curse. And so once you learn how to work within those tools, you
(08:22):
Yeah. And just like any other superpower, I think it's interesting to
look at it that way, because when we think about, let's say leadership, for example,
any superpower, any quality that we have also has
that dark side if it's overused, right? So
And everybody has their own interpretation, which is so beautiful, which is so
(08:44):
cool. That's why we all need each other. Sometimes we can feel so small in this
world, but what resonates in my voice to somebody,
if it does, great. And if it doesn't, it will recognize with you, Gia. And
that's why we need each other to spread the love and this gift, because
each one of us hears something different. Our middle ear can be connected to
one person via the other. As
(09:05):
somebody that's listening right now, that means that that part
of you that feels small, the world needs your
voice because specifically only some people can hear your voice
versus doctor, doctor, expert, expert, expert. They
don't hear it. Okay. I'm not your typical therapist language.
I don't know that language. I never went in that world. I just know a
(09:26):
different language. And some people really resonate that I don't have that.
Yeah, so true. So true. So in the work that you do,
you talk about three steps to overcome procrastination, stress
and anxiety, so you can be unstoppable. I'd
(09:46):
Yeah, so step number one, as we all know, is awareness. That's
number one, right? We cannot move forward if we don't have the
awareness of where we're currently at. and also if we don't have
any tracking or metrics to measure our progress. Now when
you're in this line that space it can feel very overwhelming because
I've been here for about 20 years and when you open
(10:07):
up one layer and recognize there's another layer
And wait a minute, there's another layer. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do
I really want to go down this path? So it gets a little bit
overwhelmed, not a little, it does. It gets very overwhelming. And so, especially
when underneath those layers is a bunch of unknowns and you have no idea
what you're going towards. And so awareness of where you're currently at.
(10:30):
And that's why my first thing is just use whether there's about,
I use five different metrics, but just for the sake of today's call, just point
out maybe two of my top ones. which one is about your vagus nerve
i split it up into three parts even though there's two phases or
states you can be in at a time you're parasympathetic or sympathetic but
when you look at it as like um three levels it breaks it down more
(10:50):
simple so like think of it as like red is your freeze yellow is
your fight or flight and green is your calm curious, grounded,
right? And so the goal is obviously we want to all get to green. Why do we want to
get to green? Dude, that's where success is and I will promise you that. For
my people that might be listening to this, you know I don't promise unless I
really freaking mean it because I am one that lives in truth. And so what
(11:11):
that means is by knowing what percentages we are in operating in
each one of those states is very important because that's also going to be very important as
to why our body is doing what it's doing. The vagus nerve is
this super highway that runs through the body, right? It's the nervous system that connects to
every single thing in the body. So those that are listening that are in that world of
anxiety, stress, or procrastination, you might be, if it's been
(11:32):
a while that you've been in there, you might start seeing physical symptoms of that. And
physical symptoms are freaking scary because now you start losing
the control. So the red is where you're starting to lose, have those panic attacks, or
you're starting having back pain. and no doctor can
explain why you are having that back pain. So what do you hear?
You're in your head. And that is the most scary thing to feel like there's no
(11:53):
control other than the thoughts are creating this nervous
system to be out of whack. Out of whack is
a thousand percent going into the physical body. Now, if you really look into this,
you'll see that when we're in that red or yellow fight
or flight or in that free zone, our vascular system starts to
shrink which makes our blood pressure rise, hypertension. Our lungs
(12:13):
less inflate, they shrink therefore not being able to bring enough oxygen and
that's why we can't feel like we can't breathe. Therefore we're not getting enough oxygen to
our brain so we make a lot more costly mistakes. So if you're talking about
relationship goals and you're in that place of survival, the
lack of connection you're going to be able to have because your middle ear turns off. Or
if you're trying to reach so hard for success, like for those that are the
high achieving women that are in here, and they're like, I'm working so
(12:36):
freaking hard, but yet you might be going in the wrong direction,
but 80 hours a week and making very, very costly mistakes
by being in that survival brain. And this is what I really found out
when I was in the fitness space. is I can give you literally the
most perfect macros in your diet plan. I could like map it out
to a tee and your workout plan and I could have all the tools for
(12:56):
you. But if you are stressed out, your cortisol will
raise your blood sugar without you even
eating. That should hit a lot of you right now that if you've been living in
that world of stress and chaos, but at the same time trying to throw tools at
it, you'll recognize this is the powerhouse and this is the center to everything. And
that is why I stopped my career of doing fitness only and said,
(13:17):
absolutely not. The tools is not where it's at. It's the foundation. And
I only want to work with individuals that are ready to get to that foundation because
that is the true control. And it is actually a lot easier than that.
So the first step is awareness of what percentage you
are in the vagus nerve. The second step I would recommend in awareness for
my metrics that I track with individuals is your limiting beliefs. Girl, You've
(13:38):
got lies that are in your mind and if you're telling me that every thought in your head is
true, you're wrong. And I don't want to tell you you're wrong on here, but those
lies and those limiting beliefs are not you. They're not. And
there is a whole different you. You should get goosebumps when
you feel that. You should feel a sense of superpower. When you get
over those limiting beliefs, the real you steps through. And so by tracking
(13:58):
and measuring do I do that on a 1 to 10 scale, things that you can do is actually
rate yourself right now on that 1 to 10. Are you good enough? 1 to 10. Are
you worthy? 1 to 10. Are you in control? 1 to 10. Are you happy? 1 to
10. Write down all those beliefs you can possibly imagine. And
when you see if there are anything below fives, I'm surprised you're
not an alcoholic, an addict, or some sort of workaholic and
(14:21):
you're struggling and spinning in the same circles. Truly, that's where
all my addicts are. If you're over fives, well, congratulations,
you've probably done some work in your life. And if you're a 10, well, honey, you made it.
That's the step of finally going, there's, there is a, there's
a map and now I can reach this end point and
I don't have to flail and open up a bunch of layers, but I know where I'm
(14:45):
Wow, there's so much there. I love that. So, you know,
you talk about the layers, which I think is a really important point
that I just want to go back to for a second, because it is sort of like that
onion, right? You peel the first layer, and then there's something else there. And then
to your point, We keep going. And it's just years
and years of repressed or suppressed, you know, experiences for
(15:05):
a lot of us that we just haven't processed. And so I like
what you said, because that can, again, be very scary and intimidating when
you start to do the work. And so not being discouraged or frustrated by
that, I think is really important. You mentioned the vagus
nerve nervous system regulation, which, you know, I do a lot of work with
that as well. And I think it's super important because it is sort of like
(15:26):
this invisible tool, right? It can help us, it can hurt us,
but just being aware of it, knowing how to regulate ourselves is such
a game changer. And you talk about cortisol. Cortisol, I
feel like is a buzzword, you know, in and social media,
everybody's talking about it, the stress hormone, you know, and how it impacts
especially middle aged high achieving women. But it is
(15:47):
again, good awareness to have that it's not one thing that you
can point to. It's not just diet and exercise, right? There's a mindset piece,
there's the hormone piece. So For the women who feel like they
are stuck in this stress cycle, they are stuck in
this survival mode, who are
resonating with your message of, yeah, it's the cortisol that's spiking my
(16:07):
blood sugar despite the fact that I'm eating pretty well and
exercising regularly, what advice would you
Well, everyone's different, so it works really well when I can individually work
on that. But as far as a generic response, what you want to find is what will work
for you. Because the reality is meditating didn't
work for me. I had to give myself permission to
(16:30):
sit there for five minutes, and my cognitive brain is really high.
And so by learning the rules of cognitive versus somatic,
you'll find which one leans best towards the tools that
work for you. So there's levels of
it as far as how to get through this area. So for
example, my high, high, high trauma protection mechanisms can't
(16:51):
feel type of individuals, I would say that
would not be me. I would be fully honest with you. That would be hypnosis. That
would be the tapping It would be those elements
that would work through the subconscious language. However, what I
find is those didn't work for me because when I got done with it, it
was like, well, what'd you do? And I'm back to stress the next day. So
(17:12):
I'm high cognitive. And so this is a great podcast for me
to be on because I work with very highly intellectual women that need
facts and proof. And if they have facts and proof, it leads them to truth
and truth prevails, right? So you can't deny that. I learn, I lean
a lot towards laws of physics. Albert Einstein is my homie, and
I'll always say that forever. Because when you work
(17:33):
in that invisible environment is where you can navigate this
territory more. I tried And
medication, I felt like a zombie. And I felt like, well, that
doesn't work for me. The next one, it was like, just go
on a walk. Well, I went on the walk, but I was back to stress. Um,
(17:54):
when you, when you learn the cognitive, so cognitive to me worked,
I'm using my experience. Cause I'm, I'm in a generic realm and usually like
to help individuals, but, um, my,
for me specifically, it was, I had to learn. I'm
very highly cognitive and it is one of my gifts, but also one of my
biggest Achilles heel. Because when I am in
(18:16):
my funk, nobody can debate me because I will
have a list of all the things about how I can prove people wrong.
And so I had to learn the somatic world. And
the somatic world is not one thing that's going to work for everybody. When
you think about somatic, just think of it as like your five senses, your body, right?
If your mind is taking over, go to your body. And your body, like
(18:39):
being in nature, sitting on the grass, being in the sunlight, or maybe it's
just taking a bath and having Epsom salts or essential
oils that you can smell. Or for me, I had to be rocked by my loved
one. I had to sit him down, I had to drop my independent ego, and
I had to say, honey, my cognitive is outbeating everything,
and it will outbeat you. It has in the past. So what I need you to
(19:01):
do is when I'm in this state, I need you to hold me, bring me out into sunlight,
bring me out into nature, and I need you to rock me. and that was able to
help my vagus nerve get regulated and then
I could bring cognitive back and then my truth came in and
then I could go there. So that's deep but it just shows like
everybody has their own and my recommendation is find your
(19:22):
own. It is such a beautiful discovery when we play in that world of adventure and
excitement. Find out what yours is and then share with your loved ones. So
Yeah, I think it's it's great advice. And I will say definitely
relatable. I'm also very cognitive, you know, been very petty.
I think a lot of women listening to this podcast, right can relate, no
doubt. So, you know, to get out of that takes a
(19:44):
bit of work, right? It takes some practice, it takes you
have to create that habit. But the advice of getting into your
body and the somatic exercises is really critical, I
think, you know, and can apply across the board to anybody who's feeling that
stress and that pressure. And I know for me, similarly, meditation
was not happening. It just was not working, right? And
(20:06):
so, and a lot of times we hear, you know, or we read
advice on, you know, social media, or we were watching a Reel, a
lot of it sounds very woo-woo. A lot of it is, oh, take a breath. And
sometimes to your point, it doesn't compute. right?
If there's no logic and science behind it, of course there is, but
you're not getting that in a 30-second reel. But to your point, it's finding what
(20:29):
Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah. It's not a one-size-fits-all
in that we are very complex individuals. And so, yeah, I don't want
to sit here and just say, take a deep breath because that was
Yes, for sure. And there are, yeah, there are a
ton of tools and and it is good to research and look into
each one and try right experiment. I mean, I, through
(20:51):
my journey, you know, have gone through I've tried everything. I'm like a wellness junkie,
you know, I'll try anything, you give it to me. And, you know, I'll research it,
I'll read about it, I want to understand it. But I'll try it,
you know, and if it works, great. And if it doesn't, you know, no
loss, right? You move on to the next thing. But at least you could say you've tried it. So
I think that's incredible advice. Tanita, if there's one message, you
(21:12):
know, that you want our listeners to take away from today's episode, what would it
That this is a viral one going around. you
know, in social media, but I'm going to double confirm
it. Going down the layers is called healing and healing
is not about becoming strong to
endure more pain or more depression or more trauma in
(21:34):
your life. It's actually quite the opposite. Healing is
being able to allow joy, happiness, and
That is beautiful. That is really beautiful. Because I think for many
of us, we're just used to taking more on, right, and feeling
that pressure and that weight. But maybe it's about opening up to receive.
I love that. And on this on this podcast, we
(21:56):
talk about, you know, success and redefining success. So I would love to
know from your perspective, How do you define success and maybe
I think success is when you are able to
make a big impact on big, big, big, let
me rephrase here. Impact is made through ripples. So
it's always big for those that are thinking they don't have a big impact. That's a
(22:19):
limiting belief because no matter if you are an artist that hangs up
an art, piece at your house that makes people feel a
certain way that has a ripple effect, okay? So when you start to
look at it in that scheme of things that we all have an impact. So let me go back
to what I was saying. It's not about what we do. It's the impact on
how we make people feel. And that has been my big realization going through
success is that when you get to your end
(22:42):
and what your gift is and your purpose on this earth is looking
back and going, I made that world a better place because it
started with you. You are the ripple effect. It's
Yeah. I love the visualization of the ripple effect and
the impact that you have right on those around you. So
(23:04):
I think that's great. Danita, where can our
Yes. My name is interesting, right? Danita. A lot of people probably don't
hear that. So it's just like Anita with a D. So on Instagram, it's
Danita Young. So D-A-N-I-T-A-Y-O-U-N-G. Or
my website has been rebranded. I went from bootybands.com. Some
(23:25):
of you might know me as that. I was really big in the fitness space, but now
Perfect. I want to thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights and
Well, thank you, Gia, for having this and making it available for
women. So that way our highly cognitive selves can
Absolutely. I think we share that same mission. And you
(23:47):
can visit my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at GiaLacqua.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. This is Gia signing off
with gratitude for your time and energy. Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until
next time, your next chapter is waiting. Take care. That concludes
another empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now. Before
we wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
(24:09):
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
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(24:31):
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you are exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm your host,
Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for joining us. Today, I'm excited to
(00:43):
introduce you to Danita Young. Danita is a transformational coach.
She's a cognitive performance expert, eight-year business owner. She's
got a community list of over 350,000, 15 million
in sales annually. She's a nationally qualified bikini competitor,
a certified personal trainer, and the list goes on. Danita,
(01:07):
Yeah, excited to chat with you today. Before we dive into
the good stuff, tell us a little bit about your background and
Boy, I was a very late bloomer. I had no idea where I
was going. Didn't know what I was going to be when I grew up. I feel like
everybody else was trying to hurry up and run to this race of what
are we going to be when we grow up? And I don't seem to find it.
(01:29):
I was very much a late bloomer. It took me a little bit of some time and
I thought it was personal training. I mean, I thought it was a lot of things, but
ended up in personal training and absolutely loved it.
But what I recognized in personal training is it wasn't
about the amount of nutrition or workouts I gave to individuals. It
came down to, it was a transformation. And that really woke
(01:50):
me up and led me to what I am now. Some people would call it as like
a life coach, but for me, I call it transformation coach. So whatever that
is to people, but I am so aligned with
it and it feels amazing to really have people step into
It's incredible. And I can see the joy and the passion as you talk about the work
When you find it, it's like a gift and you find it and
(02:13):
you can just sit in it. It's beautiful and we all have
it. And it's all about the coming into it, right?
The gift lives through you. And so even though I still got this
gift as personal training, you're not on the wrong path if you're trying
to find yours. It's just eventually like it's The
life and the you come together and it's beautiful when
(02:33):
Absolutely. Love that. So tell us, you work with a lot of women. Tell
us, you know, for middle-aged women dealing with a lot of
Oh, that's a big one. That's a big
Yeah. It is. That kind of sums it up, right?
I could sit and go into all the different things I see, but more
(02:57):
than anything, it's that. It's them not
realizing that the one thing in order to reach their success is
going to be themselves. And so once they find that actually
it's a lot easier, because a hard part when you hear it
yourself, that's annoying, right? We wish it wasn't that way,
but I would say to sum it up, it's almost like your brain and body
(03:19):
are constantly chemically wired, hardwired
to stay safe and to stay in survival and to
stay in protection mechanisms. So that's the part that
I'm saying is the part of you that's working, you're working against
yourself is the part of you that is not wanting to
thrive, not wanting to be successful, not wanting to reach
(03:39):
the goal because it doesn't know it's an unknown territory of,
Yeah, so common for us. And like you said, our brain is wired
and our body's wired to keep us safe. But that often keeps
us where in the familiar, right? And in the known,
which then prevents us from stepping out of that bubble, because
(04:08):
Yeah, no, I think it's an important point. And it's it's
so it's easy to say, right. And then
sometimes once we get to the acknowledgement part of Yeah, that's me, I'm
playing small, and I'm staying safe. What advice would you
It would be to make it simple because simple
makes it doable. I think oftentimes we're in the world of self-development that
(04:32):
is, like you just mentioned, easier said than done. And that can
be so frustrating and we can feel so broken when
we're trying to be positive in a state of
survival. And so my suggestion is by making it
simple, making it doable, I'm going to give very action. I'm
going to give away everything just because I truly believe that
(04:52):
When we are like of one is when we
actually like work together and have like better synergy with
everything. And so my suggestion is that you're either living in
a state of excitement or anxiety. So
think of it as like thriving versus survival. So make it very simple.
It's very, there's so many words to it, but when you just
(05:13):
break it down into that, then no matter what language you've
come into in your life, good, bad, negative, positive, like
whatever it is, right? Keep it simple by just looking at it as two
different circles, if you could say. And then from
there, when you recognize that anxiety and excitement
are actually the same emotion, but it's just how we identify, it's
(05:34):
how we personalize with it, it's how we label it in our head,
well then you recognize we're either living in the past or we're living in the
future. So to simply put this is that is choose a
word that allows you to feel excited and also to
feel expanded at the same time. Now my word is adventure and
that's where I'm at right now is because I have fun. I
(05:54):
have fun what I do in my gift. I adventure into the unknowns and
I open myself up and that's where more success is. So
that's how I would tell people to get through that is find a word that
one word that resonates most with them that ignites
Yeah, I think that's such great advice in terms of thinking about
(06:15):
where you want to be where you want to go and something that kind of pulls you
right and gives you that that draw. Love
that. So you talk about I know you mentioned survival mode and anxiety when
there's a lot of good stuff we can dive into. So I'm going to start
with the anxiety piece. I think so many women deal
with anxiety just because of the overwhelm, you know, whether it's hormonal related
(06:36):
because of you know, menopause, premenopause, whether it's because
of childhood trauma or something else. Talk
to us. I love you. You say that enemy or anxiety is
not your enemy. It's your superpower. I would
Take a deep breath on that one. I freaking love it. I love it. Because it
(06:57):
is. And once you recognize that it is, it's about taking your power back.
That's what it is. So anxiety in my world, my
line of work and working with individuals is this. You feel
deeply. You might be an empath. You might actually
be more of a fourth dimension being than you are a third dimension. Because
the fourth dimension is invisible. And what are emotions? They're invisible. And
(07:18):
so you work in the wrong dimension, honey. So
when you elevate yourself into knowing how to work within
the invisible, the rules change. You're working
in the quantum field. You're working in what manifestation really
is. And you are powerful. Now, just
because you don't have those tools doesn't mean you're broken. It means you
(07:39):
can just feel very deeply. It means you care. so
deeply because you're so worried all the time. It just means
you freaking care. You have a really big heart. So
stop hearing this advice that you're broken. There's something wrong with
Yeah, it's a beautiful reframe. I love that. I think
there's a lot of truth to that in terms of the deeply feeling and
(08:01):
the emotions. And it can also be a gift. But to your point, you
Right now, it feels like a curse. Yeah. And
so sometimes we have to have that reframe, but yes, the gift and
a curse. And so once you learn how to work within those tools, you
(08:22):
Yeah. And just like any other superpower, I think it's interesting to
look at it that way, because when we think about, let's say leadership, for example,
any superpower, any quality that we have also has
that dark side if it's overused, right? So
And everybody has their own interpretation, which is so beautiful, which is so
(08:44):
cool. That's why we all need each other. Sometimes we can feel so small in this
world, but what resonates in my voice to somebody,
if it does, great. And if it doesn't, it will recognize with you, Gia. And
that's why we need each other to spread the love and this gift, because
each one of us hears something different. Our middle ear can be connected to
one person via the other. As
(09:05):
somebody that's listening right now, that means that that part
of you that feels small, the world needs your
voice because specifically only some people can hear your voice
versus doctor, doctor, expert, expert, expert. They
don't hear it. Okay. I'm not your typical therapist language.
I don't know that language. I never went in that world. I just know a
(09:26):
different language. And some people really resonate that I don't have that.
Yeah, so true. So true. So in the work that you do,
you talk about three steps to overcome procrastination, stress
and anxiety, so you can be unstoppable. I'd
(09:46):
Yeah, so step number one, as we all know, is awareness. That's
number one, right? We cannot move forward if we don't have the
awareness of where we're currently at. and also if we don't have
any tracking or metrics to measure our progress. Now when
you're in this line that space it can feel very overwhelming because
I've been here for about 20 years and when you open
(10:07):
up one layer and recognize there's another layer
And wait a minute, there's another layer. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. Do
I really want to go down this path? So it gets a little bit
overwhelmed, not a little, it does. It gets very overwhelming. And so, especially
when underneath those layers is a bunch of unknowns and you have no idea
what you're going towards. And so awareness of where you're currently at.
(10:30):
And that's why my first thing is just use whether there's about,
I use five different metrics, but just for the sake of today's call, just point
out maybe two of my top ones. which one is about your vagus nerve
i split it up into three parts even though there's two phases or
states you can be in at a time you're parasympathetic or sympathetic but
when you look at it as like um three levels it breaks it down more
(10:50):
simple so like think of it as like red is your freeze yellow is
your fight or flight and green is your calm curious, grounded,
right? And so the goal is obviously we want to all get to green. Why do we want to
get to green? Dude, that's where success is and I will promise you that. For
my people that might be listening to this, you know I don't promise unless I
really freaking mean it because I am one that lives in truth. And so what
(11:11):
that means is by knowing what percentages we are in operating in
each one of those states is very important because that's also going to be very important as
to why our body is doing what it's doing. The vagus nerve is
this super highway that runs through the body, right? It's the nervous system that connects to
every single thing in the body. So those that are listening that are in that world of
anxiety, stress, or procrastination, you might be, if it's been
(11:32):
a while that you've been in there, you might start seeing physical symptoms of that. And
physical symptoms are freaking scary because now you start losing
the control. So the red is where you're starting to lose, have those panic attacks, or
you're starting having back pain. and no doctor can
explain why you are having that back pain. So what do you hear?
You're in your head. And that is the most scary thing to feel like there's no
(11:53):
control other than the thoughts are creating this nervous
system to be out of whack. Out of whack is
a thousand percent going into the physical body. Now, if you really look into this,
you'll see that when we're in that red or yellow fight
or flight or in that free zone, our vascular system starts to
shrink which makes our blood pressure rise, hypertension. Our lungs
(12:13):
less inflate, they shrink therefore not being able to bring enough oxygen and
that's why we can't feel like we can't breathe. Therefore we're not getting enough oxygen to
our brain so we make a lot more costly mistakes. So if you're talking about
relationship goals and you're in that place of survival, the
lack of connection you're going to be able to have because your middle ear turns off. Or
if you're trying to reach so hard for success, like for those that are the
high achieving women that are in here, and they're like, I'm working so
(12:36):
freaking hard, but yet you might be going in the wrong direction,
but 80 hours a week and making very, very costly mistakes
by being in that survival brain. And this is what I really found out
when I was in the fitness space. is I can give you literally the
most perfect macros in your diet plan. I could like map it out
to a tee and your workout plan and I could have all the tools for
(12:56):
you. But if you are stressed out, your cortisol will
raise your blood sugar without you even
eating. That should hit a lot of you right now that if you've been living in
that world of stress and chaos, but at the same time trying to throw tools at
it, you'll recognize this is the powerhouse and this is the center to everything. And
that is why I stopped my career of doing fitness only and said,
(13:17):
absolutely not. The tools is not where it's at. It's the foundation. And
I only want to work with individuals that are ready to get to that foundation because
that is the true control. And it is actually a lot easier than that.
So the first step is awareness of what percentage you
are in the vagus nerve. The second step I would recommend in awareness for
my metrics that I track with individuals is your limiting beliefs. Girl, You've
(13:38):
got lies that are in your mind and if you're telling me that every thought in your head is
true, you're wrong. And I don't want to tell you you're wrong on here, but those
lies and those limiting beliefs are not you. They're not. And
there is a whole different you. You should get goosebumps when
you feel that. You should feel a sense of superpower. When you get
over those limiting beliefs, the real you steps through. And so by tracking
(13:58):
and measuring do I do that on a 1 to 10 scale, things that you can do is actually
rate yourself right now on that 1 to 10. Are you good enough? 1 to 10. Are
you worthy? 1 to 10. Are you in control? 1 to 10. Are you happy? 1 to
10. Write down all those beliefs you can possibly imagine. And
when you see if there are anything below fives, I'm surprised you're
not an alcoholic, an addict, or some sort of workaholic and
(14:21):
you're struggling and spinning in the same circles. Truly, that's where
all my addicts are. If you're over fives, well, congratulations,
you've probably done some work in your life. And if you're a 10, well, honey, you made it.
That's the step of finally going, there's, there is a, there's
a map and now I can reach this end point and
I don't have to flail and open up a bunch of layers, but I know where I'm
(14:45):
Wow, there's so much there. I love that. So, you know,
you talk about the layers, which I think is a really important point
that I just want to go back to for a second, because it is sort of like that
onion, right? You peel the first layer, and then there's something else there. And then
to your point, We keep going. And it's just years
and years of repressed or suppressed, you know, experiences for
(15:05):
a lot of us that we just haven't processed. And so I like
what you said, because that can, again, be very scary and intimidating when
you start to do the work. And so not being discouraged or frustrated by
that, I think is really important. You mentioned the vagus
nerve nervous system regulation, which, you know, I do a lot of work with
that as well. And I think it's super important because it is sort of like
(15:26):
this invisible tool, right? It can help us, it can hurt us,
but just being aware of it, knowing how to regulate ourselves is such
a game changer. And you talk about cortisol. Cortisol, I
feel like is a buzzword, you know, in and social media,
everybody's talking about it, the stress hormone, you know, and how it impacts
especially middle aged high achieving women. But it is
(15:47):
again, good awareness to have that it's not one thing that you
can point to. It's not just diet and exercise, right? There's a mindset piece,
there's the hormone piece. So For the women who feel like they
are stuck in this stress cycle, they are stuck in
this survival mode, who are
resonating with your message of, yeah, it's the cortisol that's spiking my
(16:07):
blood sugar despite the fact that I'm eating pretty well and
exercising regularly, what advice would you
Well, everyone's different, so it works really well when I can individually work
on that. But as far as a generic response, what you want to find is what will work
for you. Because the reality is meditating didn't
work for me. I had to give myself permission to
(16:30):
sit there for five minutes, and my cognitive brain is really high.
And so by learning the rules of cognitive versus somatic,
you'll find which one leans best towards the tools that
work for you. So there's levels of
it as far as how to get through this area. So for
example, my high, high, high trauma protection mechanisms can't
(16:51):
feel type of individuals, I would say that
would not be me. I would be fully honest with you. That would be hypnosis. That
would be the tapping It would be those elements
that would work through the subconscious language. However, what I
find is those didn't work for me because when I got done with it, it
was like, well, what'd you do? And I'm back to stress the next day. So
(17:12):
I'm high cognitive. And so this is a great podcast for me
to be on because I work with very highly intellectual women that need
facts and proof. And if they have facts and proof, it leads them to truth
and truth prevails, right? So you can't deny that. I learn, I lean
a lot towards laws of physics. Albert Einstein is my homie, and
I'll always say that forever. Because when you work
(17:33):
in that invisible environment is where you can navigate this
territory more. I tried And
medication, I felt like a zombie. And I felt like, well, that
doesn't work for me. The next one, it was like, just go
on a walk. Well, I went on the walk, but I was back to stress. Um,
(17:54):
when you, when you learn the cognitive, so cognitive to me worked,
I'm using my experience. Cause I'm, I'm in a generic realm and usually like
to help individuals, but, um, my,
for me specifically, it was, I had to learn. I'm
very highly cognitive and it is one of my gifts, but also one of my
biggest Achilles heel. Because when I am in
(18:16):
my funk, nobody can debate me because I will
have a list of all the things about how I can prove people wrong.
And so I had to learn the somatic world. And
the somatic world is not one thing that's going to work for everybody. When
you think about somatic, just think of it as like your five senses, your body, right?
If your mind is taking over, go to your body. And your body, like
(18:39):
being in nature, sitting on the grass, being in the sunlight, or maybe it's
just taking a bath and having Epsom salts or essential
oils that you can smell. Or for me, I had to be rocked by my loved
one. I had to sit him down, I had to drop my independent ego, and
I had to say, honey, my cognitive is outbeating everything,
and it will outbeat you. It has in the past. So what I need you to
(19:01):
do is when I'm in this state, I need you to hold me, bring me out into sunlight,
bring me out into nature, and I need you to rock me. and that was able to
help my vagus nerve get regulated and then
I could bring cognitive back and then my truth came in and
then I could go there. So that's deep but it just shows like
everybody has their own and my recommendation is find your
(19:22):
own. It is such a beautiful discovery when we play in that world of adventure and
excitement. Find out what yours is and then share with your loved ones. So
Yeah, I think it's it's great advice. And I will say definitely
relatable. I'm also very cognitive, you know, been very petty.
I think a lot of women listening to this podcast, right can relate, no
doubt. So, you know, to get out of that takes a
(19:44):
bit of work, right? It takes some practice, it takes you
have to create that habit. But the advice of getting into your
body and the somatic exercises is really critical, I
think, you know, and can apply across the board to anybody who's feeling that
stress and that pressure. And I know for me, similarly, meditation
was not happening. It just was not working, right? And
(20:06):
so, and a lot of times we hear, you know, or we read
advice on, you know, social media, or we were watching a Reel, a
lot of it sounds very woo-woo. A lot of it is, oh, take a breath. And
sometimes to your point, it doesn't compute. right?
If there's no logic and science behind it, of course there is, but
you're not getting that in a 30-second reel. But to your point, it's finding what
(20:29):
Mm-hmm. Exactly. Yeah. It's not a one-size-fits-all
in that we are very complex individuals. And so, yeah, I don't want
to sit here and just say, take a deep breath because that was
Yes, for sure. And there are, yeah, there are a
ton of tools and and it is good to research and look into
each one and try right experiment. I mean, I, through
(20:51):
my journey, you know, have gone through I've tried everything. I'm like a wellness junkie,
you know, I'll try anything, you give it to me. And, you know, I'll research it,
I'll read about it, I want to understand it. But I'll try it,
you know, and if it works, great. And if it doesn't, you know, no
loss, right? You move on to the next thing. But at least you could say you've tried it. So
I think that's incredible advice. Tanita, if there's one message, you
(21:12):
know, that you want our listeners to take away from today's episode, what would it
That this is a viral one going around. you
know, in social media, but I'm going to double confirm
it. Going down the layers is called healing and healing
is not about becoming strong to
endure more pain or more depression or more trauma in
(21:34):
your life. It's actually quite the opposite. Healing is
being able to allow joy, happiness, and
That is beautiful. That is really beautiful. Because I think for many
of us, we're just used to taking more on, right, and feeling
that pressure and that weight. But maybe it's about opening up to receive.
I love that. And on this on this podcast, we
(21:56):
talk about, you know, success and redefining success. So I would love to
know from your perspective, How do you define success and maybe
I think success is when you are able to
make a big impact on big, big, big, let
me rephrase here. Impact is made through ripples. So
it's always big for those that are thinking they don't have a big impact. That's a
(22:19):
limiting belief because no matter if you are an artist that hangs up
an art, piece at your house that makes people feel a
certain way that has a ripple effect, okay? So when you start to
look at it in that scheme of things that we all have an impact. So let me go back
to what I was saying. It's not about what we do. It's the impact on
how we make people feel. And that has been my big realization going through
success is that when you get to your end
(22:42):
and what your gift is and your purpose on this earth is looking
back and going, I made that world a better place because it
started with you. You are the ripple effect. It's
Yeah. I love the visualization of the ripple effect and
the impact that you have right on those around you. So
(23:04):
I think that's great. Danita, where can our
Yes. My name is interesting, right? Danita. A lot of people probably don't
hear that. So it's just like Anita with a D. So on Instagram, it's
Danita Young. So D-A-N-I-T-A-Y-O-U-N-G. Or
my website has been rebranded. I went from bootybands.com. Some
(23:25):
of you might know me as that. I was really big in the fitness space, but now
Perfect. I want to thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights and
Well, thank you, Gia, for having this and making it available for
women. So that way our highly cognitive selves can
Absolutely. I think we share that same mission. And you
(23:47):
can visit my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at GiaLacqua.
Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and leave a review. This is Gia signing off
with gratitude for your time and energy. Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until
next time, your next chapter is waiting. Take care. That concludes
another empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now. Before
we wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
(24:09):
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
(24:31):
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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