Whatever Works Podcast

Fear can distort our perceptions, making threats appear larger than they are. When we run from our fears, they grow, potentially overwhelming us. Only when we stand up to the things that scare us can we determine how great the dangers really are and respond accordingly.

Unless we take conscious steps to protect our sleeping environment, we are likely to suffer from shorter-duration, lower-quality sleep. This affects every aspect of our lives, from our health to our relationships to our ability to focus. Sleep hygiene refers to any strategies that enable us to sleep more deeply, restfully, and consistently.

When you’re in an emotional situation and find yourself tempted to judge or criticize, reaching instead for curiosity can be an antidote to the negative relationship mechanics that often play out when judgment and criticism take over.

Many of us find it difficult to exercise. It can be hard to start and often feels like torture until it ends. You might think that the solution is to do less and rest longer between workouts. However, there’s a lot of value in sticking to a regular schedule. 

Monitor your body by counting your steps, checking the quality of your sleep, and measuring your calorie intake. These techniques can help you pinpoint the weaknesses in your health regime and determine what you need to change to reach your goals.

Supplements can be helpful to fill in gaps in your diet or lifestyle. Many of us don’t eat enough vegetables, ingest the right amount of iron, or consume enough essential vitamins like B12 or D. When you know you’re not eating as many vegetables or fresh fruits as you should, for whatever reason, you can take them in pill form.

In a postmodern world, we may find it difficult to identify and hold on to strong moral values. This can be especially true for atheists, who often struggle to find meaning and grapple with nihilism. Without values and principles to anchor us, the world can look excessively chaotic. Adopting some rules can help tip the scales in the other direction, fashioning order from the chaos.

The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida is a guide for men, encouraging them to get in touch with themselves and live in alignment with their true nature. David Deida’s approach can help men in a range of relationships, in finding their sense of purpose, and in leveling up their presence with women.

Nonmonogamy is based on the idea that it’s possible to love and have relations with more than one person and that when we acknowledge this, we open ourselves up to new ways of living. It is not the same as cheating on your spouse or partner because in ethical nonmonogamy, every participant is aware of the situation and participates with full, informed consent.

If you can give advice generously and accept that others will do as they see fit, you can rest easy knowing that you have offered guidance, whether or not they choose to act on it. This protects your relationship and also leaves the door open for them to choose whether and when to apply your counsel.

Mega Threads—long threads of online communication—can help you process your thoughts slower. With this technique, there’s almost no limit to the depth of your response to a particular issue, so you have quite a lot of room to express yourself fully and to be heard.

When you find yourself in an environment where people are frequently interrupting each other, using a talking stick can help to eliminate interruptions, increasing the quality and depth of the conversation.

Life is about more than what we create, and some of the most important elements of being human can’t be measured and optimized. By taking an occasional break from the pressure to produce, you can open up space to nurture relationships with yourself and others and feel more complete and rounded.

Complaining doesn't resolve anything. Taking action, or otherwise initiating a solution, can both fix the problem at hand and alleviate negative emotions, as well as inspire others to be proactive about tackling problems they see.

When working alone, it can often be hard to stay on task and stick to a desired schedule or commitment. One way to boost your determination is to connect with an accountability partner with whom you share your goals and progress. Knowing that you will report your achievements to someone else provides a motivation boost to do your best.

Creating a decision log allows you to record and reflect on both the decisions you make as well as their consequences, enabling you to make better decisions in the future. By tracking what you choose to do and the outcomes of your choices, you set yourself up to learn valuable lessons and make future decisions from a more informed place.

Decisions can be hard to make, often because we do not have enough information on hand. We may need to do research or get input from other people before we feel comfortable making a decision. Alternatively, sometimes the information we need simply doesn’t exist yet or is not yet concrete (for example, next week’s weather). In these instances, it might be best to put off the decision for as long as possible.

Sometimes, we go back and forth on making a decision without reaching a definite conclusion because we are unsure about how to resolve our conflicting wants and needs into a cohesive course of action. We’re afraid of making the wrong choice, so instead of settling on a decision, we get stuck in limbo, failing to choose at all. At times like this, it can be useful to proactively shift our point of view.

You can find coaches who specialize in almost anything. When you want to improve an aspect of your life, a coach may be a more appropriate choice than a therapist. Rather than exploring your emotional responses, a coach will concentrate on improving your skills and mindset and supporting you to become the person you want to be.