E16: When Expectations Don't Match Reality With Psychotherapist Wendy Morgan

“Unspoken expectations are always future resentments,” says Wendy Morgan, a psychotherapist and educator at Fleming College. In this episode, Wendy joins Zovig Garboushian to talk about the often overlooked gap between what we expect and what actually happens—a key challenge in both therapy and personal growth. She introduces her “expectations framework,” a practical tool she developed to help people navigate the complex emotions that surface when reality doesn't match up with their expectations.

 

Why is clear communication so crucial in our relationships? Wendy explains how being upfront about our expectations can prevent resentment and build empathy, whether in our personal lives or professional settings. She also discusses the overlap between coaching and therapy, particularly in addressing unmet expectations and unresolved issues from the past. Through relatable examples, Wendy encourages self-reflection and honest conversations, offering insights into how aligning expectations with reality can lead to personal growth and healthier relationships.

 

Quotes

• “Unspoken expectations are always future resentments.” (18:05 | Wendy Morgan) 
• “When we think about difficult emotions—things like frustration, anger, and resentment—those emotions exist between two places: reality and expectation. The farther apart reality and expectation are, the greater those feelings of anger, frustration, and resentment become. The closer reality and expectation are, we can diminish the sensation of those emotions.” (11:13 | Wendy Morgan) 
• “We can’t always change things; we can’t always move reality. Sometimes we can do things to shift reality, but what we always have some level of control over is our expectations, particularly our own expectations.” (11:57 | Wendy Morgan)
• “Boundaries are fluid. Boundaries move with us. Boundaries are actually for us to protect ourselves. So, if someone is coming and it looks like they’re going to breach our boundary, one of the ways we can protect it is to actually back up. We take our boundaries with us. They live within us.” (41:59 | Wendy Morgan) 

 

Links

Expectations Framework: https://drive.google.com/file/d/14AVzOAG9yeNabkXRnEAwIoXCEOqbHv0-/view?usp=sharing

 

Connect with Wendy Morgan:

Website: www.wendymorgantherapy.ca

LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/wendy-morgan-46658116

Connect with Zovig Garboushian:

Website: www.boldnessablazecoaching.com

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