85: Conspiracy: The Bennington Triangle | Mitchy | WIMP-O-WEEN V

Join us for the 5th installment of WIMP-O-WEEN! Mitchy and I do a shallow dive in the The Bennington Triangle mystery and conspiracy.

 

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Episode Transcript

(00:00):
Don't be scared, I just want to play a game with you.
Welcome to Whimper Ween 5. Sorry.

(00:38):
I see you have chosen the right path.
Henceforth you will be known as a wind.
Welcome to the Worst Impressionspodcast.

(00:59):
Something strange in here. What's the deal with whims?
Welcome to Whimper Ween 5. It's Whimper Ween 2025.
Yeah. Welcome Mitchell, You're back on
the pod for Whimper Ween 5. Whimper Ween 5.

(01:22):
This is the fifth in an already overdone franchise.
This is where we go into, like, real stuff.
Oh yeah, this is like where it gets meta.
Yeah, and. The thing happened in real life.
They go, they're like on a film set and somebody's doing a
copycat, like somebody's making the movie.

(01:43):
That we're watching. That we're watching and, and,
and they're dying and they're dying backstage.
Yeah. I like that.
I also like when we get to the ones where they start, you know,
branching out. It's like the a new villain,
Freddy versus Jason, you know, where they have to bring in
Super Godzilla. I like.

(02:03):
That yeah, yeah, yeah. They have to.
They have to bring in the the beast to kill the beast.
Yeah, it's so interesting that people will be like, yeah, but
it gets it turns to a piece of shit during movie 5.
It's like, for sure, you know, And I'm watching it for that
reason. It's that always annoys me.
It's like this, Yeah. The 7th 1's terrible.
It's like, I'm counting on it, brother, you know, that's why

(02:25):
I'm watching. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. But weirdly enough, Terminator
wise, am I too hot? No, no, you're fine.
Oh, you can. You can like you can.
It's more of like a spatial. You can just like keep it
whatever because you project fine.
You know, you're good. But yeah, Terminator like 8 or
whatever where James Cameron's son is, the director is randomly

(02:48):
so good. I don't know why I just thought
of that. It's like.
Which one is that? Who's in?
Who's in it? Arnold Schwarzenegger comes
back. That's the one where he comes
back. Yeah.
And then it's like this other girl that I can't really place,
but she's in stuff. But I do.
I can't tell you what those things are, but if you saw her,
you'd be like, Oh yeah. And she's, it's the one where
she's kind of got like a little bug eyes.

(03:09):
Yeah. Yeah, I know that one.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, and then Linda Hamilton
comes back too, so that one's really good.
I loved it. And the Terminator so advanced,
like the ones they're sending after them now are like gods,
you know, because they've been like, OK, well.
You've you've countered everything else.

(03:30):
Here's the craziest ones. Yeah, you turned, you turned our
first Terminator into a lovable buffoon.
You know, because of the second one.
He's like a good guy. Arnold is.
Yeah. And he's like, I'll be back.
Yeah, that's when he's protecting Sarah Connor.
Yeah. Yeah, I love the Terminator
movies. I'll talk about them whenever I
can. Did they scare you when you

(03:53):
were? Did you watch them when you were
a kid? I did watch them when I was a
kid and no, they didn't scare me.
They didn't make me like horny, like because like everyone's
like, really. Muscle Man.
Well, everyone's like sweaty anddirty and like ripped in all of
them. Well, the 80s, yeah, like

(04:15):
everyone was oiled. Oiled, not wearing a bra, not
wearing underwear, just everybody was like.
The bra less like white T-shirtslike the Jamie Lee Curtis, just
like. Oh yeah, Sigourney.
Sigourney's. I've talked about that, like,
multiple times. Yeah, this podcast.
Like somehow I get back to Sigourney's Bush every time.

(04:35):
Let's let's properly introduce Mitchell.
Oh, hello, with a song. I see you be on the green.

(04:59):
Girl cock girl cock girl cock. Have you seen the Doo Doo camera
that they use for that being like an echo into the ether Doo
Doo camera? So I had two iterations of that

(05:19):
and what? Was the first quote.
The first. Before landing on girl cock.
What do you mean? Oh no, it was girl.
It was girl cock. Always girl.
It was always girl cock and because in the clip you say,
because I'm asking, I'm just like I need to look for a sound.
Sound bites and you go. Here's one girl cock.

(05:39):
Oh yeah. Clip it and I was like, you got
it. Clip it.
I was like, clip it, ship it baby.
That's that's forever on the board, but.
I was trying to explain RIP it or ship it to Brandon the other
day and it just like wasn't. Like the what?
Not streaming? Yeah.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Or what was WhatsApp?
Because he was like, he was like, they pulled it on live and
I was like, no, they want it on live because they ordered it.

(06:04):
And he was like, why did the people that ripped it not give
it to them? And I'm like, because well,
that's bad business. You know, like they don't.
They're making their money from people buying packs.
Yes. It's like if they don't give
them the packs then it's not a great look.
It's. Like we will stop watching them,
yeah. Yeah.
Their their stream goes down. Yeah, but honestly that because
it was the triple logo. LeBron, have you?

(06:26):
Did you see those? No, because I don't.
I don't watch any of the like the tops ones like the sports or
anything. Well, there was a a card and it
comes in these like these packs that are like $20,000 a piece.
They're like little briefcases and they're packs that are like,
for sure going to be like. I have.

(06:49):
Thousands of dollars. Yeah.
And anyways, there was one card and it was like a special LeBron
card and it had actual pieces ofall the all three of the the
logos, like the, you know, like the NBA logo guy.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. They had three, had three of
them from his three uniforms in the NBA.

(07:10):
Like the real logos in the car. And they opened it on stream and
then they still had to send it. Yeah, we were watching a a show
that Brandon's been watching about this guy that gets
collectibles and he wanted that card and because he owns like an
auction place and he auctioned it for like 1.7 million.

(07:31):
Holy shit, yeah, I would. I would definitely fuck with a
LeBron card because or LeBron memorabilia just because he's
been the the guy our whole lives, you know, and he's still
going it. What is it 45?
He's old as fuck. I don't.
Know or no? I think he's like early 40s.
I don't think he's about 45, butstill, it's pretty crazy.

(07:53):
You know, it really is. And he's like playing with one
of his sons, like his kid is on the team.
Oh really? Like little Bronie?
I or I don't know for sure, I don't fucking know sports, but
Bronie is. That does one right.
He's. Playing the game as well.
That's crazy. It's like fucking go home.
Right, right. But I mean.
Party's over, I guess. It's not though.

(08:14):
Is he still doing really good? Yeah, like he doesn't.
It's not like it's not a thing where it's like.
They're beating that old man up.Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, that's good. I guess I could give honestly
too. Shit girl cock.
Exactly. Oh my God.

(08:38):
Spooky season. This is so fun.
I'm so glad it's whimper wean time.
May, Terry. May, Terry.
Jesus Christ. That wasn't bad for me.
OK, maybe I'm just a little too hot.
Earlier I farted and it sounded similar to that and buddy did
still has no idea what like farts are.

(09:00):
And if you fart well enough, like if you get, if you can get
a squeaky one off, he's like andit's really great.
I've definitely I've definitely turned some dog heads with some
farts, but it's always like likeit's very.
Yeah, look at what the fuck was it?
Yeah I know your shit sound likea cannon bro.

(09:31):
You remember. You remember those like dude,
I've never been. I've never been more my fellow
kids until I played that delulu.Oh yeah, where I was just like
it's all G like just trying to talk to.
I wasn't trying to talk to children, but they were was
doing it. He was successfully, it was

(09:56):
crazy to play that and it was really only fun to play it with
you because I did play it by myself.
Like after y'all got off and it I was like this sucks.
So to so to explain it to everybody, the Lulu is a it was
a game mode in Fortnite where you only play with proximity
chat. You don't play with squad chat.
You can talk like obviously you can talk to your friends in
other ways, but you get spawned out into the map all separate.

(10:21):
And then you just find other people and try to befriend them.
Yeah, with just your own charisma through voice.
Yeah. You like speak to each other?
You like hi, Please don't kill me.
Yeah, yeah. Please.
Please. And Eric was absolutely it
turned into chaos at the end of every map and it was it was like
90%. It's like Eric, like even, even

(10:43):
like I would get far away from him and he would still because
he would, I think he would do like 8 voices in your ear at a
time and then it would start cycling through people.
Because if yeah. Because if everybody would like,
your microphone would blow up. But I could always hear Eric in
some way, just like screaming crazy stuff.
There's so many like. Some games I would be trying to

(11:05):
like, you know, sub sublimate orjust get in with everybody and
just be one of the crew. But then some I would try to
just I was like everyone. I am now your leader, like
everyone. Follow me.
Well me and Maddie kept finding each other first so we had
decided like whoever we are there with in the beginning

(11:26):
we'll befriend but once we find each other we'll kill that kind
of person. And so me and Maddie, right off
the bat, we're. Oh, you know what?
That's the GoPro. Oh, I'm scared the shit out of.
I was like, I think I left my phone oven on.
Interesting. No, but me and Maddie found this

(11:46):
guy and he was like thank you guys for letting me join your
team. And we're like and we just like
both slowly turn towards him. It's so funny, but it is sad
when you have to kill people. When you have to kill people, I
mean, there are the fun parts where we grouped up and you
know, you can have, you could kind of technically have a group

(12:09):
larger than four and it's like, all right, everybody would be
nice. And then we would get it was
like, all right, let's get in the helicopter.
Anybody that wants to get in thehelicopter and I grabbed, I was
like, I'm going to drive this and I just got it, got in the
helicopter. Everybody like had their, you
know, you have your guns hangingout the sides or whatever.
I just took off and I was like, everybody that's in the
helicopter, kill everyone that'sbelow us and everybody on the

(12:30):
ground. Was like, fuck, fuck, fuck,
fuck, dude. I figured out my strategy pretty
fast because I have a gay voice.And so I just made my made my
character the hottest girl I had.
And then, you know, just use my sweet baby gay boy voice.
And I was like, hey, that's mean.

(12:54):
Like when guys would hit me. Yeah.
And immediately they were like Laura Croft.
Sorry, sorry, Laura Croft. Like I'm Laura Croft in real
life. And like they would stop killing
me. It worked.
It was crazy how it was like thenext game.
Nobody killed me, right? Because I was dressed as Laura
Croft. That huge tits Mcspammy.

(13:16):
Actually, not the hot girl, dude.
Yeah, yeah, keep the hot girls around.
Yeah, it's crazy how easy that was.
Yeah, yeah, tit brain is. Yeah, it's on all levels, in
every reality. You ever?
No, I'm not going to say it likethat.
Have you ever gooned to a do a Fortnite scan?

(13:37):
No. Well, I got close with Ryu, but
he's too myself for me. I definitely like the when the
Alaska girl one came out I was just like.
That's crazy. Yeah, that's actually true.
Because because I there is, it'snot that I gooned whenever that
one came out, but I was just like, I have, I've seen you
before. Yeah, that's The thing is like,

(13:59):
you don't have to goon to Alaskagirls Fortnite's game because
you can find her busting that shit open like pretty easily.
Like you can, you can find her throwing it back.
There was a time when I knew specific artists, digital.
I was like. Wow, I currently do.
Love your work. There's a guy that does gay
Overwatch ones and they're really good.

(14:20):
Overwatch. Overwatch.
Overwatch was like the Gooner game.
Out of out of control? Yeah, from the get go.
Yeah, but they do have really hot characters.
Well, they also, I think they like released like Blizzard was
definitely like seeding. It was just like we're releasing
the like the base models or whatever on to Blender or

(14:43):
whatever. I don't.
Know yeah, rivals did the same thing.
Yeah, they were just and howeverthis evolves online, I don't.
Know. Yeah, because they're very
accurate base models. They're the exact like there's,
there's, this is flawless. Yeah, it's like, does do we
need? Did somebody have to animate
Maze Bush? You don't know, but they did you
know. That tundra.

(15:04):
Yeah. That Evergreen?
She doesn't have a Bush because it rose off.
Well, in mine it's full but. Like her perma Bush?
Speaking of Perma Bush, let's talk about the Bennington

(15:24):
Triangle. No more wimps.
Sorry. Aw, Jen.
Do you do you want to kick off the benign trial?
Yes. OK, so I wanted to talk about
this thing that I learned about that scared me.
Are you scared of the woods? Let me start there.

(15:46):
Absolutely. Me too.
I think that that in the ocean Ithink are the 2 like smartest
things to be scared of. You know, it's like, I don't
think you've well, first of all,you can die in the woods period.
Like there's a million ways to die in the woods.
It's not that hard to do. Park Rangers have their are up
to their tits and dead bodies constantly.

(16:07):
I think you know so. But anyways, so I heard about
this place called the BenningtonTriangle and it's in Virginia.
It's a specifically southwesternVermont.
Oh, that's what I meant. The other V.
Oh yeah, Yeah. You were just like Virginia.
I was like, well, actually, according to.

(16:28):
No, that's. Good.
Because like I will say, whatever.
Yeah, but sorry. But anyways, so on southwestern
Vermont. Yes, and from 45 to 5019451950
all these people disappeared or had weird or died under
mysterious, mysterious circumstances.
Yes, and there's been 5. People.

(16:50):
Yes, which is crazy. And there's been other people.
There was a group in the 70s that.
Oh, I don't have the 70s crew. Yeah, they got lost as well.
They got OK, they got lost. Yeah.
But really it is just a bunch of, it's like a string of
disappearances that are so weird, like they could each be
their own little HBO series. And it compelled me.

(17:13):
It's spooky. From what I gathered reading
about it and then listening to the conspiracy podcast about it,
I there was a lot of talk of like, you know, the we have
footsteps and then nothing else or.
It's like we know that he was here then.
Like, like there was one guy, I think his name was like, James

(17:35):
Tedford. I think his last name's Tedford
for sure. Are you?
Talking about one of the victims.
Yeah, yeah. James Tedford. 1929 he was the
veteran. He's a 68 year old World War One
veteran. And he, correct me if I'm wrong,
he was the one that was on the bus.
He was. He's like riding.
Yeah. The bus rider later reported to

(17:56):
the police that a man resemblingTedford may have disembarked in
the village. Yeah, because he got on and then
he was like going to see his family or whatever.
And then at the stop he was, that is the last stop, he was no
longer there. Yeah.
And they had no record of him getting off.
And then the bus driver was like, maybe he did get off, but

(18:16):
he never, he was never seen again.
Yeah, he got on that bus and that was the last time anybody
ever saw him. So let me run through, OK, I'll
just do like a brief descriptionof each of the victims, I think.
And victims is like, I mean, I guess.
Is we don't know what. Happened to them.
They're just yeah, they just disappeared.
They're tied to the Bennington Triangle because it's all in the

(18:37):
same area of southwestern Vermont.
Between 1945 and 1950, Yeah. And there's like deep woods
there. So in 45, this is the first one
was MIDI Rivers. She was 74 years old, vanished
while hunting in Bickford Hollow, about four miles West of
Bennington, north of Vermont Route 9 near Woodford.

(19:00):
She was a skilled outdoorsman and frequented his son in law's
hunting camp on the Long Trail. And the Long Trail, I think is
the thing that keeps popping up.There's some trail or fork trail
that keep that kept popping up in all.
Yeah. So there's one trail that goes
like all the way through it, andthen the longest part of the
trail is through the Bennington Triangle.

(19:20):
And a lot of people go, well, several of them were very close
to that trail. And when they go missing, like
according to all of the stories,when they go missing, they the
search parties are massive. Like they're like huge search
parties with one of them has gets helicopters at some point.
These are like manhunts, like because this is like, because

(19:42):
one of them is like a white girl, like, you know, a white
girl in the 50s. They were like, we're finding
her, you know, I. Was wondering, to be honest, I
was wondering all of their races.
Yeah, so I know that the collegestudent, I can't remember her
name, she was a college. Student Paula Jean Weldon,
that's the next one. Yeah, and she was the one that
her friends told the police thatshe had been saying lately that

(20:05):
she felt called to the woods. And then she got up.
She was like studying in the middle of the night and like got
up, left, went to the woods, right.
And then like they have her footsteps through the woods
until a certain point and then they're like.
Yeah, I think that that is. I think that's one.
Yeah. But then she also in the with
the college she was supposed to or you could sign a thing.

(20:30):
Oh yeah. That said that you want to go
outside. Yeah.
But she did not. Yeah.
So she made it if if she was getting if she got lost just
doing her own exploring. She like, made it harder on
herself, right that. Was the whole thing, Yeah,
because there was the the college was like right on the
trail so they could sign out andbe like, I'm in the trail.
No, I'm gonna go trail. They didn't come back, but for

(20:51):
some reason she just opted out of that.
And told everyone she felt called to the woods.
Yeah. And then your footsteps just
stop. That's crazy.
Pretty bizarre, I mean. The next one is James Tedford,
which is the one we just talked about, the veteran, 68 years
old. So the first, OK, so right now
we're at three of them. The first one was 74 years old,

(21:12):
second one was 18. James Tedford is 68 year old
World War One veteran, and we talked about him fourth one.
This one's super fucking sad. This one's Paul Jepsen.
He it's Paul Buddy for nickname Jepsen.
He's a special needs child, age 8.

(21:35):
And he disappeared. In vanished while accompanying
his mom during farm chores. Yeah, and that's the one where
his footsteps were on the road as well, and.
Police theorize that rain may have washed away the scent.
Yeah, they had dogs that followed his scent, and then
there's a spot where it everything just stopped and they
couldn't find him. That's insane.

(21:55):
And so that's what's so weird islike there's no.
Blood. Yeah, there's no trace.
There's no trace. None of them were ever found
either. It's not like one of them, like
later down the road was like, itcould have been a killer, you
know? But if it's a killer, you know,
you think you see these things. Nobody saw anything.
Nobody heard anything except forthere is there was an

(22:17):
overlapping and I can't rememberwhat James Tedford was, but I
remember from listening to the the guy that we both listened to
them talking about there being an over overarching like them
being called to the woods, like them saying like I felt like I
had to go to the woods. They said that.
Yeah. And it's like, I don't like
that. It's a.

(22:40):
Yeah, I can think of nothing scarier than the woods.
Actually, I would. I think I would rather be in the
ocean alone. You would rather be in the woods
alone than the ocean. 100%. What's going to happen to you in
the ocean? You're just going to die.
I guess, but the you. Like die from exposure?
Yeah, the ocean. The Wiz is like fucked.

(23:02):
Up but OK, so your mentality of the ocean though is you just
like I will die faster and you can like force yourself to die.
Well, yes, and it's also not like I don't, I don't think a
shark would eat right because I have like really good vibes.
I'm saying yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm saying, I'm saying I'm, I

(23:22):
look at it with like, I could get out of this like the woods,
I feel like. You would make it home maybe?
I could try to get out of this and but the water, no, I'm
toast. Like I'm so toast.
That's what I like about. It that's what, that's what I'm
saying. That's what I'm saying.
Like you're looking at it like I'm dying.
Either way. Which one do I choose?

(23:43):
Right. Well, think about this.
You're in the woods, you're all alone.
It's the middle of the night. You're looking around with your
flashlight and the flashlight grazes.
No, just think about it. And as you sweep by and there's,
there's an old man, Yes. And you just see him.
There's an old man. OK, now imagine that old man's

(24:08):
underwater, grabbing your anklesand he's licking your toes.
Isn't that scarier? Pretty scary, no?
But Can you imagine looking underwater and seeing an old
man? Wouldn't that scare you?
Think about that every time you shower for the rest of your
life. I always think about.

(24:28):
Like a light curse. Imagine that forever.
Yeah, I always think about the Lord of the Rings like the Black
Marsh for like that's fucked me up as a kid because like most of
the Lord of the Rings, I get like, I can be like, that's
fine. That's just guys.
Those are just guys in costumes.That's fine.

(24:50):
But the Black Marsh where like the people in the thing and
they're like reaching out and they're, you know, watery.
That's. I'm not even scared of spiders,
but for me it is the spiders in all the Lord of the Rings stuff.
Oh really? Like I just think there's a
like, Peter Jackson's version ofit is disgusting.

(25:11):
Like it's so like wet. They're like, yeah, they're.
Yeah. They're like so sticky.
Yeah, it's and and like I don't like how fat they're really
fast. Like they're just like.
So fast I hate it. And I'm not scared.
Like spiders don't scare me intoanything else except for The
Lord of the Rings. I'm like, that's fucking gross.
I don't know why 'cause I think.The Harry Potter series does
this. They're not as wet.

(25:32):
They're definitely. No, they look dry and like
furry. They're kind of thumpy, too.
Yeah, and they're like. Thump occurrence.
The ground. You just like, I can't be scared
of anything in Harry Potter because, yeah, Vicky Riley's not
a good enough writer for that, you know what I mean?
She didn't write anything, like,believable enough to be
genuinely scary. They're not good books, you
know? And that's the thing that sucks

(25:54):
because I have a Harry Potter tattoo.
But then you like, grow up and you, like, read books and you're
like, that was garbage. That was not it's like not even
like top 10 best fantasy books. What?
It's true. I haven't reread them in a long
time. Well, Oh yeah, it is like the

(26:18):
first if they're good, but I just don't think they're like
ground. They're not groundbreaking when
you like think about the people that wrote before her and like
the stories that were written before her.
And but obviously they're you know, it is what it's
sensational and like I was a child and I the.

(26:39):
The movies made it way more thanit 100% way more like.
The movies are so good. The books were like they did
infect a lot of people and make the movie happen but like the
movies like make it honestly make it immortal without.
Her it's just so funny, like when you're I think when you're
concluding a series for children, you have so much

(27:00):
liberty to be like, it was this the whole time and could be like
it was, you know, and like Nat, when you're an adult, you're
like, girl, you're really phoning that in, you know, like,
you know, it's like Snape. Yeah, no, literally.
And like the propaganda tour where they're like, they're like

(27:22):
Alan Rickman's like she told me that day one of filming.
I'm like, I don't believe you. I'm sorry.
I don't think she did. I don't.
I don't think she thought of that.
I'm sorry. And she had him killed.
So that way, like, in real life,Yeah.
Yeah. He can't ever spill beans.
Yeah. And that's.
That's something that Eric says just by himself.

(27:48):
I don't have to have allegedly if I just that's like an Eric
thing that. So this Wimbling 5 is all
conspiracies? Yeah, it's just all made-up.
Whatevers. OK.
But yeah, we got to go back. What do you think was getting
the people in the Bennington Triangle?
Let's talk about we got to We can't leave out Frida, Frida
Langer. She's the last one in 50.

(28:10):
She's aged 53. Is she the one that died?
She went missing while hiking inthe woods near Somerset.
She was She was also the skilledhiker and hunter.
She had accompanied her husband,Max, and cousin Herbert Elsner
that morning from their home. And then while hiking with
Elsner around 1:00 PM, she slipped and fell into a stream,

(28:32):
soaking her clothing. When she failed to return, a
search was initiated. So yeah, they found Langer's
body and 1/2 and 1/2 miles southeast from the campsite only
like. While no cause of death could be
determined because of the condition of remains, she
theorized. They theorized that Langer had

(28:52):
fallen down an embankment into adeep pond where she drowned.
Yeah, and she was one that, like, lived on that land and
like, knew it really well. Yeah, OK, so there's a couple of
things, like spooky ideas that have been done by the guy Citro

(29:13):
that wrote the coin by American author Joseph A Citro.
Oh, did he talk about it? Yeah, so one of the so the
couple of things. So there's like 3 things.
It's like monsters, aliens, but then these like Native American
myths of human swallowing like stones.

(29:34):
That oh oh, getting eaten by theearth.
That, yeah. Stones that open up and eat you,
yes. And that interests me the most.
The concept that like there's places on the Earth where like
you, you just kind of get eaten up and you just disappear is
really cool. I mean, it's awful and scary,
but it's cool. It's just like you're done.

(29:55):
Yeah, the idea that you could like go too far in the woods and
just kind of like cease to existis.
Bring your energy back to the earth.
Yeah. Yeah.
But it also, and I meant to lookup the, like, topography of the
area just to like get a good idea of it.
But if it's all woody and everything there, I would assume

(30:17):
there's like rock formations andall that stuff.
Especially that's what we're talking about.
But it could be like crevasses, I don't know.
And like grottoes. No.
Yeah, like in the literal sense.Like just falling into.
The Earth. Yeah, and that happens to me in
No Man's Sky a lot too. Is I'll, I'll just fall into a
random cave. No, but it genuinely could be

(30:38):
like that. Like maybe there's just like
they. Just had no terrain tool back
then. Yeah, I've got a pickaxe, I
guess. Yeah, that's the thing too, is
like fucked up shit happening toyou in the 50s like that.
So. That's not good.
We now yeah cuz people. Can't they don't have anything?

(31:01):
They did have nothing. Yeah, people are.
They didn't have stuff. No, but seriously, for real.
OK, we can get, yeah, we can come back to the monsters and
aliens of it. But OK, let's talk about the
similarities of them, all of them, all 5.
What I wrote down is that there's three older, two of them

(31:23):
are definitely elderly, but one is just like 50.
This is just older. Those those three were born in
the 1800s then. And that's suspicious.
There's yeah, the there's one isa teenage girl and the other
very little special needs boy. Yeah, I don't want to

(31:47):
generalize. Doesn't sound like the brightest
crew, like born in the 1800s, Like no.
That's true. Like it?
No. Education.
Yeah, and also like, really likeprobably like least likely to be
picked for a hike, you know whatI mean?

(32:08):
No, you know what I mean? Yeah, Yeah.
Yeah. It's like, right.
No, it's like you don't. No one would send an elderly
woman on hike. I mean, like, she's got that,
you know what I mean? Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Especially one born in the 1800s.
They experienced these people experienced the Great

(32:30):
Depression, World War One and Two.
One of them literally was in World War One.
They're fucked up. Oh yeah, they're they're like.
Broken down, there's no the 50s medical care like they're
ruined, you know and like. I feel like it like 50s medical,
they had like a crowbar, you know, It was like, if this can't

(32:52):
fix you. Let's scoop some of that out,
some of that dirty, dirty brain.That's what they did.
Lobotomies. Oh, that's true.
Yeah. Remember that girl on The Boys?
That guy had to get a lobotomy to hook up with a deep the Super
smart girl. Yes, Yes.

(33:12):
Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
Yeah, I know. Gen.
Gen. V is back out.
Around season. We're in Episode 3, OK?
I haven't watched any of this season but I I watched last
season it was awesome. They do a really good job of
like this is a new season because chance for Dermott died
in real life. Which one?
The guy with Magneto powers the kid.

(33:35):
That's right. He died in real life.
And so like they really had to it took longer for this to come
out than it was supposed to. And you can tell they're like,
we're doing this, you know, because they have to, like they
can't. So they do a good job, but it's
like not a bottle season, but they've like you can tell it's
good though. They they did a good job.
Yeah. It's a really cool.

(33:55):
Like it reminds me of like Teen Titans, like how they would have
like a season wide villain, you know.
And then like it's like that OK,cool.
And it's cool. That's awesome, yeah.
I love, I love that universe andthey're so smart for doing Gen.
V like doing original content because the comics are.

(34:16):
They're bad, yeah. OK, yeah, they're they're not
the best narratively and the artstyle is not for me.
I'll say, OK, so then. Is it really like bloody and
like? It's bloody, but then also it's
like scribbly. Yeah, let me show you, because
it's really not. It's hard to explain, but it's

(34:36):
just not. Like like kind of like splash
paint. I feel like a lot of there's
like a lot of edgy comics will try to do, like look at our
crazy art style. Yeah, they're really like high
contrast, I'll say. Like, look.
Oh. That's Homelander, Yeah.

(34:56):
Just so much shadow. Yeah.
And then like. Blacked out.
Yeah. And he just says like, like,
even when there is detail, it's like, oh.
Yeah, yeah. I know.
Yeah, that's what it looks like.Yeah, I'm loving the if we're
getting into comics, Oh my God, I've been getting into it.
I literally like, I'm like looking forward to like new

(35:17):
comic book day. Now I'm like cataloguing them in
my phone and like looking forward to new releases because
right now both the big dogs, Marvel and DC, but then all of
the smaller dogs, Image and DarkHorse, they're doing a ton of
number ones because there's likeAI mean.
I guess I'm, I'm part of that wave of just like a bunch of

(35:38):
people suddenly getting into them.
And yeah, tons of new number ones.
Like the Batman #1 is awesome. Like the Deadpool and Marvel's
doing this huge new arc with theAge of Revelation, but like what
you're talking about with the art.
I really just want a standard metoo.

(35:59):
Like I know there's like, Oh well, it's their
interpretations. I kind of want that cookie
cutter comic feel, but like withthe modern ink of just like
popping in my face because I don't this, I don't care.
I mean, I care about old comics,but I want to see that new ink.

(36:20):
Yeah, that new picture, the high, high res.
I agree. I think there's a lot of good
comics. A lot of Marvel, the artist
Marvel are hiring are really good.
I really like a lot of the new Marvel Comics, the Scarlet Witch
solo series, whoever's, I don't know who's doing the art for
those, but it's gorgeous and really fun.

(36:41):
They're funny comics. I like that Series A lot.
I am very picky about comic art just because.
Well, that's the main thing thatmatters.
Like if because I mean, there's so many cool ones, you might as
well. OK, if I'm going to, if I'm not
going to blow $1000 on comics inthree months, you just go with
your your favorite art makes it.Easier, I want to get into like

(37:04):
some indie horror comics becauseI think I would like those.
Yeah. Which I think there's.
There's one guy at Bankston's, our local comic book shop.
Visit if you can. Shout out.
We love Bankston's, but he knowsa lot about indie comics, so I'm
gonna ask him like what to get into.

(37:25):
But I started reading Salem, theAdventures of Salem from
Sabrina, the Archie comic. It's just about the cat.
And so he's fighting like cat sized demons, you know, it's
like all like on his like size level and it's really good.
It's really funny because it'll be like, like it'll be like a
possessed badger, you know? And it's.

(37:47):
Yeah, yeah, no, it's really good.
That sounds. Well, the first thing, the first
first comic is like him versus like basically all the other
animals he like fucked over on his way to somebody was like
gave those animals like more power and so they could seek him
out to get their revenge. And so it's like him versus like

(38:11):
a bunch of animals that are all fucked up.
Yeah, it's really good. It's really good.
I It's silly and I like that. You said there's a dark horse.
Or you don't know Archie becauseit's Sabrina.
But I think Archie is Dark Horsenow, isn't it?
I don't know. For sure, I thought so.
But that sounds fucking cool. Yeah, I got to look into.

(38:32):
That no, it's really good. What else do I have written
down? OK.
Oh, So if you were going to havea, like, we can wrap up the
Bennington triangle, But if you're going to have a hard
stance on it, yeah. Like what do you think happened?
I think, and I think this about all woods.

(38:53):
Every place there's trees, I think there are horrible white
people living inside of them that want nothing more than than
normal people's soup. I'm a big wrong turn.
Yeah, like truther. And I just like, I do believe

(39:14):
that Appalachia is fucking scary.
You don't want to be down here when the sun.
Goes yeah and I won't and it's like.
You got it. You can stay.
Yeah. Say less, Chief.
I won't. First of all, I'll stop you
right there. I'll never be in Vermont.
Oh my God, that reminds me like when guys will like, message me
on Twitter like some random account and they'll be like, you

(39:35):
ever come to Columbus? Like no bitch, I don't.
Definitely not now. Yeah, yeah.
Never will. Yeah, you bring that pussy over
to Akron, it's like, what the fuck?
Anyways, yeah, I just always think about that.

(39:55):
Any time somebody mentions like any city, there's just always
somebody on Instagram. And it's like every week there's
somebody on Instagram asking me to come to fucking Tallahassee
or something. That's crazy and I'm like no are
are they? So when I was when I was DL
usually. No, no, these are like, these
are like sometimes these people are age, sometimes it's like old

(40:18):
men, but they're not DL. They're just like, you know,
interesting. Yeah.
I'm always curious. Yeah.
I'm like, I'm curious as to the,because I've had some like DL
interactions where like the guys, like guys will message me
and be like, my wife doesn't know.
I'm like, I'm like, you're an ogre.
Go tell her I don't want anything to do with this.

(40:40):
You know, it's like have some, have some self-awareness.
Yeah. Especially when I was like 22,
like there was like, I was like a piece of ass, you know what I
mean? Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. I was like fuck you, seriously,
even looking at me. There's because there's

(41:07):
something about I, I think because we're on the younger
part, part of millennials like me and you and.
As long as it gets, really. Yeah, there's not very many
below us, but in the Gen. X and like elder Millennial area
and then all the way up to Boomer or whatever, I see them

(41:30):
more. And maybe that's just like where
where my feeds lie. But I see them more commenting
and like putting their two centson like thirst traps of all
types, you know, And I'm just like, what do they, what do they
want from this? Like, you know what I'm saying?
I don't. Know I know exactly what you're
saying. But like, I mean, yeah, I know,

(41:51):
you know, but I it's like. You get more bold, I think, with
time. Yeah, or, but it's also, they
didn't have that when they were younger and they're just like.
Wow, they think they're having like a pirate conversation in
the corner and it's like we're all looking at.
You yeah, this person is giving this to me like personally, but
it's just like, this is a post, you know, this is.
It's essentially like you're being horny on a message board.

(42:13):
Right. And, you know, I think that's
crazy. Oh, yeah.
It's so. Yeah, I it's, it's that blows my
mind. But yeah, I guess, I guess I
wanted to know what. You know what's crazy?
Oh my God, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt.
No, you're good. I just wanted to know like what
like if that if what I'm thinking fits what you what your
experience has been, Is it that age range?

(42:35):
Yes, but also our age range and like the things people when I
started Onlyfans, which I don't really do it that much like I
don't really I don't keep up with it at all.
I haven't done it in so long. But like the things people,
people I knew would send me or say to me and it's like, I'm
going to see you on Thursday, you know, like, what are you

(42:56):
going to do when I see you on like people, people would say
disgusting things to me. And then it's like, girl, we,
we're going to be at the same birthday party this weekend, you
know, and like, and if you and just know that if we have mutual
friends and you send me something crazy on Twitter, I
showed all of them. I showed all of your friends.

(43:18):
If you, if you out of the nowhere were like, here's my
butt hole. Guess what I told everyone.
I told all everyone you know. Oh my God, yeah, I did not.
This shit is not confidential. I didn't sign an NDA.
And if you're just like, also I think it's like a crime now to
like send unsolicited Dick pics.Oh, I'm sure.

(43:38):
Yeah, yeah. Eric just got out of jail.
Time served. No, but it's just crazy like the
things that people say on the Internet, it's wild.
And especially like, and people would coverage me in person and
be like, can we get more butt plug content?

(44:00):
And I'd be like, I'm having a burrito.
This is I'm having brunch right now, you know, right, right.
Nobody really would. And I would be like, you know, I
would be like die, but in, you know, the less nice way.
There's no way to piss me off faster than make like in person

(44:21):
request for my only fans when I was doing it.
Yeah. That's I mean, first of all, I'm
not that person. Just like.
Could you curate this for me? For you for 999, it's like no,
actually I can't I already took your $9 and I wiped my ass with
it and you'll have to give me 9 more, you know you're.

(44:44):
Right. Oh my God.
Do you want to do a scary story?We can.
But anyway, stay out of the woods.
Don't go to Vermont. Look it up if you want to.
It's very scary. I just wanted to talk about it
because it the the disappearances I think scare me
the most too. I don't like open-ended things

(45:04):
and I don't like the idea that somebody's still somewhere.
I don't know if I talked about this on the show, but Brandon
knows this about me. I hate the idea of things in
time. Like, I don't like the idea of
an abandoned building, how much time it's there and like how
long the idea that my life is going on and there's this scary

(45:25):
building that is existing through time.
Yeah, that scares me because I think about going on.
Yes, yes. You don't know what it is
exactly. The the history of anywhere
scares me, which is kind of stupid.
But I wonder what that phobia? Is I don't know, but do you know
what I mean? Like the idea, even like any
house, like the idea of like, decades going by in the house

(45:47):
and it having its own life scares me.
Yeah. I don't know why you could.
It creeps me out. You could describe that as like
a like a time lapse, like a likea time lapse video of something.
Yeah, I hate the idea. If I went back like 50 years ago
and I watched, you know, six hours of footage of this place,

(46:07):
it would be like an empty field or whatever, you know, like was
it before this was born or before this place was built or
even while it was built? If I just, I hate the idea of
anywhere, if I could watch a long period of its life and it
was empty, that's so scary to me.
I don't like abandoned, but whenI say I don't.
Fuck. Fuck.

(46:28):
But that being said, like I will, I would love to go to 1,
right? Right, because I like to be
scared. You like, Yeah, you like being
immersed in that. I do like feeling and that's
part of I think being a country kid too, is I love to be like
genuinely fearful of my life. No, but me and my like brothers

(46:48):
like we would scare each other like it was our job.
Some of our favorite moments, yeah, growing up are.
Scary. Just.
Like, oh. Like, yeah.
We really messed up. We've got to go.
I want to be scared for my life.I don't want to be like in like
a a like new situation. I don't want to be like in a
shooting or something. I don't want to be like that

(47:09):
kind of scared to my life. But like being in the woods,
like with your friends and just like, what was that it's like?
Crazy and a knife flying. By yeah, it just I love to be.
I love to be like, I hate it, but I like, if it presented
itself to me, who knows if I would actually do it because I

(47:30):
I'm smart. I like chicken out.
I like how Jordan Peele describelike, because everybody's talked
about, you know, scary movies and comedy, but being together
and just that element of surprise, like the the punch
line of a joke is the same as like the whatever.
And it's like being scared is a more just a really, really
intense punch line. Yeah, it's well.

(47:51):
There's nothing funnier. There's nothing funnier on earth
than being like weird fuck, you know, just.
This is bad. That's why like, like everybody.
So you know. People that's like what this is
the end is is like just them reacting to like being.

(48:13):
Fucked folks, like when they're,you know, maybe like nervous
about doing a podcast or even like, you know, I just, I'm, you
know, I'm not like I don't want to talk about myself.
The negative effects of me doingthis.
Like if I got like a huge negative press thing, yeah, be
the best thing ever. I told you that when you started

(48:35):
that the first thing you needed to do was say a slur because it
is nothing that would make you popular faster.
Right. I know, I know.
Go ahead, everyone's waiting. No, but seriously, like and
unfortunately, like probably 100% it would work.

(48:56):
I know, you know, especially now, like it would really work.
Yeah. And that sucks.
Yeah. But like if you were just
inflammatory for like 1 episode,it would probably people would
be like, yeah, did you see? But you'd have to, you know,
Then you'd have to be a grifter,and that's not fun.
Right, that that that that's my only thing is after you do it,
you have to. Up your Annie.

(49:18):
You have to either up your Annieor like he's like, I'm not
apologizing like, like because then you get all of the people
that are like good for you not apologize like and he's.
Like, right, right. But like, we're literally doing
like we're doing like. But I mean, it's how can you not
tell? Yeah, it's.
All online, like, I mean like there's no, there's no hiding it

(49:40):
anymore. It's like textbook.
Because because that's The thingis everyone has a podcast and
like the most popular ones have done or said crazy shit.
I thankfully, in my tenure with social media, did not have a

(50:04):
crazy moment. Like didn't have a super bad
one. There is one, but it's.
What do you mean? No, OK, OK, OK.
But it wasn't. Like, but it wasn't like a crash
out. Like you got mad at somebody.
No, remember it was when they were using emojis on my stream.
Oh, that's hilarious. But yeah, we won't talk about

(50:25):
it, ha ha. But it's funny.
So fucking funny. Maybe if you know, drop a
comment on the on the videos, onthe, whatever you can drop a
comment on for Eric. YouTube or Spotify?
Yeah, if y'all want to hear my my embarrassing story, I'll.
Tell you there's also I have like a Bank of just like I'm
just like these will be when I'mdoing theaters like like you

(50:50):
know you. Know what I'm saying?
Like, Oh yeah. Because everybody, I not
everybody, but people are just like, oh wow, it's so funny.
It look crazy on the podcast. You tell crazy stories like I've
got stuff that I'm waiting for abig old paycheck to say, like
you know what I'm saying? And like, then I'll let them
RIP. But you know what I'm saying?
Like there's just some I was like, not yet and.

(51:12):
Well, The thing is too is, whatever you say, can't, you
know you can't Louis CK yourself, you know, like you
had. There's a line, you know, right,
which he wasn't saying. So he was doing horrible stuff,
but. Yeah, but you we can go down
that path. I've learned a lot about his
situation. No, I'm OK, but I'll actually

(51:34):
pass, thank you. But you know what I mean.
Like you, it's like it's a tightrope to like.
Wait, what is? Like being inflammatory to get
views without without, like being uninvited from like where
you can't go to the grocery store, you know?
Yeah, that's the thing. Yeah, that's the thing.
I don't like you. Don't really.
Have an inflammatory use though,really.

(51:57):
No, no. Yeah, there's no that's.
The thing is, there would be no there.
No hard in it. There would be no truth and so
like that. That's why why I appreciate good
like sketch artists like like, Idon't know Drewski that well,
but like when Drewski does like his characters, that's why
they're so fucking funny becauseit's just like that's a

(52:18):
character that exists. Like like when he's doing white,
white face is crazy. He's so funny.
It's awesome. So crazy how funny he is.
And but, yeah, but but that's The thing is like, I bet he had
that idea earlier on, but you have to wait like those those
like gold, those golden ideas. You have to wait until you're at

(52:42):
like kind of a peak and you're just like, nail it like, yeah,
you know what I'm saying? And so I think that about a lot
of different comedians and whatever.
There's just projects you can't do until you're at a certain
point. Yeah, but.
But anyways, with the BenningtonTriangle, I think the stones are
swallowing the the people, so the.
Pupil, the pupil, the people. No, I think that's the coolest.

(53:05):
I forgot that they did talk about that, and that's really
cool. Yeah.
It's kind of like Pet Sematary too, which is cool.
Yeah. So that's like, that was fucked
up. But yeah, you want to read a
scary story? Yes.
Do you? Do you want to do it?
Either way, no, I want you to doit because I want you to read
one of the things that I wrote. OK, OK.

(53:27):
OK, because I did some really good.
Prompt some suggestions. Yeah, I'm gonna you'll do this
one I'm gonna suggest because I did one at the live show too, so
they've got me last episode. Do we?

(53:49):
That hat's beautiful. It reminds me like kind of like
Thumbelina, like like you're a little mouse and like this is
like a sunflower. That's your hat.
You know what I mean? Yeah, like a little like corn
husk. Yes, yes, it's really cute.
OK, I'm just going to draw 2. Draw 2, but at least one of them

(54:14):
has to be mine. OK, he's drawing, putting the
Eric Anderson drew the card we needed to know the answers.

(54:37):
Are they both readable? Oh yeah, they're, they're
amazing. OK, lay it on me.
It was a dark and stormy night. Let's go down to the rodeo, said
Sheila. Sheila was having a little bit

(55:05):
too much fun at the rodeo. Oh, Sheila.
I love, I love when they get hurt doing their doing their
tricks. That's Sheila.
That's that's Sheila. She, Sheila, loves the rodeo and

(55:25):
this particular rodeo you can say they don't use animals in
the rodeo. Don't.
Be scared, I just want to play agame with you.
What do they? Use They use something far, far
worse. The apex predator of the earth.

(55:51):
Human beings. A human rodeo.
Whoa, folks riding other. Folks, Sheila's favorite.
Sheila's favorite I just love when they when they tie up the
bull, they call them bulls when they tie up the bulls testicles

(56:12):
and it gets all mad and he's. Got to shake the other guy.
Off and what is it? 6 seconds, 88 seconds and the
human rodeo at six. They're sorry for somehow the
human rodeo is worse. They they can only last 6

(56:33):
seconds riding Ron from accounting.
And each of the folks they get, they get knives.
It is, it is a bloodbath. And you know, it's, it's imagine
just a, a typical rodeo dirt poop on the ground.

(56:54):
It's human. Human feces folks come in.
Just a bunch of different folks.So there's people, there's,
sorry, we can get back to what happened to Sheila, but there's
people that are the animals and then and then the people in the

(57:16):
radio are also human. Yeah, I think.
It's humans riding humans. I think it's kind of a, I'm
going to go ahead and say it's alittle bit of a, you know, a
Hunger Games situation, You know, there's.
Like what's different about the animal people?
That's what I was going to say is like it's just a socio
economic thing where like you know, the rich.

(57:38):
I'm so sorry. The rich, the rich have deemed
OK, the rich have just deemed, you know, all of the lower class
cities as you know, essentially livestock and then you know,
just. Just like Texarkanons and people
from small cities. Yes, and but yeah, so then they

(58:05):
all draw numbers and, you know, if you're unlucky, you represent
your town and you're either a bull or a Bronco and you got to
be. Or what else do they do?
The like a sheep. You know, the kids get in there
and then there's like kids, right.
It's it's dark and they fight for their survival and if you,

(58:28):
you know, if you buck them off and then knife them, you know,
you win. Food grain for your town just is
is hunger game style. OK, but let's get back to
Sheila. Sheila was really was really
pumped about this one particularbowl because in the gate, you

(58:50):
know, he's getting riled up. His testicles are tied up, OK?
That's what happens. You know, that's how they
agitate the Bulls in rodeos. They tie their testicles and
squeeze them. I didn't write testicles like
Eric's doing this. Eric's doing this for fun.
Like this is really, you know, I, I didn't give Eric Testicle

(59:11):
as a word like he's just doing that because he wants to, but.
As he's so struggling with his strangulated testicles and
reaching down and reaching in, he's starting to defecate
himself and in a blind rage. Because in a blind rage, this
bull, this human, this human being fighting for his town,

(59:37):
catches a lump of his feces, shoves it in his own, puts it
right up to his mouth. I mean, we are talking.
They're reducing these folks to to animals of the Kingdom.

(59:59):
Like it's supposed to be a scarystory.
You're like doing like PSA about.
Scary as fuck this. Is like scary as fuck town.
Like it's really happening. It's like they're eating their
own shit. They're starving.
You know, they're poor. They're like all, all of the,
all of the, the animals, the people, they're all the poor.
They're just poor towns and the rich are starving them and they

(01:00:23):
have to play these games right? This one so hungry, so pissed
off. He ate his own shit.
And he loves it. OK.
That's grinning year to year. Yes, all 32.
They they, they beep him out of the gate.

(01:00:44):
Let's see. That's the gate.
That's the. Gate.
The gate opens and they're fucking real hard, you know,
like he's got the taste of fecesand the anger in his eyes.
Yes. Whips off this guy.
He's like, you're going to feed my family.

(01:01:05):
Knives him. Oh my God.
Kills him, gets this, he eats that guy shit,
eats it, eats it, and on with the rest of the games.

(01:01:27):
No one can intervene, you know? It's hopeless.
It's a lot like The Hunger Games.
It's a long saga, probably take 8 or 9 novels.
That's that's incredible. What were the?
I've got I've got human rodeo and poop enjoyer.
Excuse me, I'm so sorry that OK,I forgot I wrote poop enjoyer

(01:01:50):
because I was going to say this shit play stuff.
I didn't give him that, but I did.
I'm like, why the fuck would he say that?
It's like literally my my idea. That was good.
OK, that had like I'm not even joking.
That had like a king, Stephen King kind of element to it.
Yeah. Like, whereas like it's fucked

(01:02:11):
up, but it's like it's, he doesn't really.
Stephen King doesn't do a lot oflike, subtleties, you know, It's
like, this is fucked up. You're walking 20 miles and
you're gonna die during it, you know, Right.
Yeah, Actually, what was engrossed.
And that would be scary as fuck,like.
A human rodeo. Well, yeah, yeah.
I I mean I'm just scared of likeany of the like the like how

(01:02:34):
purged does like the rich peoplelike fucking with the like the
in Hunger Games. Rich people really are the
scariest thing in the. World terrifying because like
it's so relatable, like it's just like they can eventually
just like, yeah, we're just going to decide y'all, just
because it goes all the way backto like Coliseum stuff.
There was that lawyer in Floridathat was using Mt he houses to
murder homeless people. He was like playing hide and

(01:02:56):
seek with them. See, that's scary as fuck.
Yeah. Because yeah, it's not a ghost.
He was like, go hide in this empty house and I'll find you
and kill you. That's like, that's horrible.
See, that's a situation like where I need one of those
cyanide teeth that like, spies have, you know, like.
From I kill myself anytime from.Dune Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah,
yeah. And just like I, I, I kill

(01:03:18):
myself. Easy.
No, I killed myself. No, Stop.
I killed myself. Oh, stop, Stop.
No, no, no, no, no. I'm killing myself.
It's like it started as soon as the chain starts, starts
chainsaw starts, No. No, no, no, no you don't.
No, I'll kill myself. I'm killing myself.

(01:03:40):
I shake my tooth. It was poisoned.
This is like YouTube is like, noalgorithm for you, Yeah.
Sorry, I don't. Care.
Like that's the thing, if I'm ifI get any traction on any of
them, it is just going to be from people sticking around.
I yeah, like, I think it's greatcultivating an audience.

(01:04:03):
Yeah, I because I don't think. Too much of our time lately is
built spent trying to be best friends with the algorithm, and
I think that's depressing. Literally like I don't.
Care about it anymore? And that's good.
Yeah, that's like the perfect place to be.
Because. Because one, it's not.
Real. Yeah, it's not, it's not real.

(01:04:24):
And even, and there's so much, especially on YouTube, like I
care, I care. So I care about them all
equally. YouTube, Spotify and Apple
Podcasts, like I care about themall those three big ones.
But there's so much on YouTube that like individual, so many

(01:04:45):
words that they're just like, no, we just, we just like slow
that one down. Yeah.
And I'm just like, I can't like the way I operate.
There's no way I can like I it'sjust not in me to abide by them
all. It's there's so many podcasts,
especially by straight white menthat are doing like, is body

(01:05:05):
count important to you? Yeah, You know, and I think
you're doing such important workby doing a silly podcast.
Thank you. Where you just talk about things
and it's fun A. Human rodeo with somebody eating
in their own shit. Honestly that's better though
that I would rather hear about human shit rodeo than hear you
know why a man is like a key anda woman is like a lock.

(01:05:28):
And if a if a lock opens for 40 keys it's not a good lock.
It's like, first of all, I'll kill you with a hammer.
And I mean that. YouTube, I mean that literally.
No, but it's exhausting. The world needs more silly

(01:05:52):
podcasts. Thank you.
Because OK, thank you for bringing that up.
If you need to leave, do you areyou good?
We can. Keep Yeah, I'm great.
OK, because this this topic I can talk about.
Thank you. I that I really appreciate that
because I do. I'm like, yeah, there are a lot
of like white guys just like rambling about shitting their

(01:06:12):
pants on podcast. And I'm just like, I've
definitely talked about shootingmy pants and I'm definitely, I'm
definitely a white guy and I'm definitely just.
Like, well, shitting your pants stories are funny.
That they're are funny and then and then I even even though I've
only done it once now and I'm going to try to do it on Friday,
dabbled in doing stand up and yes, and but like I don't even

(01:06:35):
want to ever. I don't even think I will ever
be like I'm a stand up. No, no, no, I'm going to be
whatever this is and I make public.
I do, public appearances and shows do.
You know what I'm saying? I think as free form as you can
be, the better. I feel like I'm not going to.
Drawing a box around yourself would be stupid.
Yeah, I'm not. I don't because like.

(01:06:57):
I think like you burlap hat Hawaiian shirt is exactly.
Poop enjoyer, yes. You're talking about human
rodeos. I think you're nailing it.
Personally, this is the sort of thing that I enjoy.
Thank you. Yes, I do so.
And I keep coming back. That's just because you fucked
me so good after that was like one of those ones like that

(01:07:29):
you're. Saying.
And you're like, you're like, this is awful.
Sometimes I'm saying things I'm like, don't do that.
Dude, sorry, no, that's so funny.

(01:07:49):
Yeah, I think one of the things that makes sense, like how we've
always been is because we didn'tlike, we did like doing improv.
And we do. And we and we love doing acting
and then the musicals and dancing and all that stuff.
And then we love writing jokes and like like coming up with
sketches or whatever, but we like it all.

(01:08:10):
I mean, I don't know about you, but to me, I like them all so
equally. And I guess that makes me the
Jack of all trades, not a a master of none or whatever.
But that's fine with me. Yeah, because I'm not going.
To be well, I think you are a master of impressions and I.
Think, well, thank you, but I don't even think that because
like I look at a lot of the impressionist TikTok and of

(01:08:32):
course I shouldn't compare myself, but I'm just like I
can't do another like a. Yeah, but just think, don't
think about in terms of them. Think about it in terms of like
if we pulled 20 random people off the street, you know what I
mean? You'd be a master, you know what
I mean? And that's, that's what it is.
That's cool. Like and like the one guy that

(01:08:53):
like does those impressions, youknow?
Friend Rob. Or whatever the guy that had, he
was on like he had Kitty Couric on.
Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
That's friend. It's.
You know, that's his thing, That's his thing.
That's he's honestly not that funny, right?
That's no offense, but he. Is he can't?
Like he's not writing the jokes.Aren't funny, but his him doing

(01:09:16):
the voice is funny. But sometimes you know it.
I I don't know. Yeah.
I don't think you're a master ofnone.
What I mean? Well, thank you.
I feel like because like Dana Carvey falls in that thing.
He's funny, but it's like, and he's so good at the impressions
or whatever, but like the jokes,I'm just like, well, there
there's a bajillion joke writersthat I would prefer over Dana

(01:09:37):
Carvey. Oh yeah, He just fits the
Saturday Night Live thing so well.
But but anyways, you we know, like I didn't notice this, but
like we it was reinforced in thelive show that you can literally
like just kill with a random like like a random one liner at

(01:10:00):
the end of either your story or somebody else's story.
It's there's like Andy Richter does that to Conan.
Oh yeah, I'm like, what's the Higgins?
The name? Yeah, Jimmy Fallon.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, Higgins, but like.
I like Andy Richter more of this.
Yeah, but there. But the but not, but not just
them, just the way you were ableto like, 'cause every time you

(01:10:24):
started talking, everybody's like.
I think, I think my power lies in my intonation in real life
and I try to be funny in the waythat I'm speaking and stuff.
So, and I think a lot of times like I don't translate that well
to like Twitter and stuff because I can't, I people can't

(01:10:45):
hear me do it. And that's like it was kind of
reinforced when I started makingTikTok videos and people thought
I was funny then when my tweets really didn't do that well.
And so, yeah, I, I do think a lot of my ability comes in just
like in conversation with me kind of.
And yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, but that is from like,

(01:11:08):
that's like bullying and like that is from like just like
having to stay ready but you. Know you know who is that it's
it's Tracy Morgan who like. Oh yeah, you're like that where
he's just funny. It's funny as.
Like so funny as. Fuck whatever, I love him.
Whatever he's saying, he's just making that funny.

(01:11:29):
Yeah, You know what? I'm.
Saying or kind of like Joe Biden?
Because like we used to, we usedto just like.
So no, you're like this one. You're like this one.
Yeah. But yeah, definitely.
I get I'm trying to think of like who comedy wise I feel most

(01:11:50):
akin to. I wish it was Colescola like.
I don't know. Colescola is the one doing like
Oh Mary right now on Broadway. Oh, oh, oh, oh, I think I do
know this. Yeah.
And he's like friends with Amy. I mean, Amy Sedaris.
And they had done a lot of stufftogether, and Amy Sedaris had
her show. You probably know what it looks

(01:12:12):
like, but that's like kind of the random energy that I'm going
for. It's like kind of that.
I'll say whatever. Yeah.
But yeah, I don't know, I latelyand this is it.
It was true when we were at Second City, I think they
trained that into me to be like really loosey goosey and I'll
say whatever. And then I lost it where I was.

(01:12:34):
I just did wasn't practicing andI wasn't doing anything artistic
and I don't. And then for some reason, I
don't know if it was like comingback and doing the podcast.
This era of my life has been very free form my brain.
I just feel like I've been really.
I don't have a lot. I haven't with my friends and my
family. I my filter is going and I will

(01:12:56):
just let them kind of. I'm letting the wheels.
Roll oh, going away. You know, you're just.
Letting them whatever. Oh.
Yeah, this wedding letting whatever fly out, and that works
really well for live audiences. Yeah, no.
Because you'll you know if you say whatever it.
Really. It just just what the.
Fuck is up next, yeah. Yeah.
Yeah, that's, yeah, definitely came through in the live show.
That was really fun. Yeah, but.

(01:13:20):
Hey, Mommy, you know, you can dothat if you want to.
You can just say that stuff. Hey, Mommy.
Oh, I just actually wait. Oh, never mind.
I thought I showed Seoul. Like, that'll be 50 bucks.
Have you seen, like, girls that try on shoes on TikTok?

(01:13:41):
They have to, like, wear socks. So then really.
Yeah. So video doesn't get jizz all
over it like so it's crazy I. Yeah, I feel like the.
Are you a foot person? No.
I like, I kind of get it, Like Iunderstand it, but I don't feel
it. I get the real nice feet, like I

(01:14:02):
get, I get, but but the the, theOh yeah, Lube those arches up
and fuck it is. I'm just like, no, there's.
Like a million other things, there's.
So many other places. And I'm not licking in between
anyone's toes because it's gnarly.
Yeah, that's crazy. But I get why it's super nice.

(01:14:25):
Like, you know, like I like a like a super nice like painted
toes. Yeah.
No. Like it was like, am I?
No. Yeah, no, I mean, I get it like
I do, like I do see pictures of feet sometime and I'm like those
do look nice, you know, but I don't, you know, I don't want to
fuck it, you know. But they have fleshlights that

(01:14:46):
are like a foot with a vagina onit.
No, they do I. Know, I know.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that until very
recently. Oh, really?
Yes, well, I was at the foot vagina store buying milk.
I was getting groceries. The foot Cocker.

(01:15:06):
Oh do the audience applause. That was a good one Foot Cocker
is great. That's really good.
It's. Like that's what the what it's
called. I have to do a clean set on
Friday my. First set, yeah.
And then by the time this comes out, I will have already done

(01:15:28):
it. But yeah, it's just going to be,
it's going to, it's going to be my shorter 1.
And I'm just going to like, justlike I'm going to, I'm going to
do a I'm going to do a characterthat's like funny.
And I'm not going to, I'm not going to spoil it.
I'll probably talk to you about it after the pod and just like
run it by you, but. I'll be there.
Yeah, OK. Thank you.
You don't. You don't?
Oh, of course I'm going. Hello.

(01:15:49):
OK, good. Cool, cool, cool.
But yeah, we'll we'll see. And then there's going to be a
magician there, and hopefully I'm going to meet him and get
him on the pod at some. .100% MyGod I love magicians.
But yeah, this Wimpoween is fairfairly stacked, as if you know
if all of the everyone. Shows up if.

(01:16:09):
All the appointments roll correctly and.
Come do the show for Wimpoween. It's so fun.
It's a great time to do it. Because it'll be 5.
What if 567 and 8, there's 444 slots, so get ready for next
year, whatever. But also OK for anybody that's
listening because I know a lot of people come in for Mitchell's

(01:16:30):
episode and the Christmas time. I get a lot of open slots
because everybody's busy. So if you are free, please reach
out my God, like for the holidays and stuff like.
But this time I hope won't I won't have a appendicitis, oh

(01:16:52):
right appendicitis. So I won't have to take like 4
weeks. Off I forgot like I had like my
curse. My cursed object was given to me
at a Christmas party. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
And luckily I had, like, Cam's episode backlogged and Coleman's
episode backlogged and, like, itgave me some breathing room.
And then I was like, and then I'm just going to have to take
some weeks off. That was fair.

(01:17:15):
Your guts exploded. Yeah, but anyways, isn't it
crazy We're on like it's like episode 85.
I know. What are you gonna do for 100?
100 is gonna be crazy. I'm gonna do.
We gotta do something crazy for 100.
Yeah, that'll be in the, I thinkit'll be like January or
February next year and. Have you thought about doing
like streets of Waco, like, you know, take your lawful ears out

(01:17:37):
for a spin and. I I've thought about it, I've
definitely. Thought maybe not for an episode
but maybe if like a video like the wimps take the streets or
something you know? I've definitely thought about
it. I don't think I could do it
alone. I would need like.
I would love to do that. With you, I would love to you to
be there. Yeah, if you have to go and then
like, maybe I guess like my dad or something so that nobody
kills us. Yeah, nobody beats the fucking

(01:17:59):
shit out of us because like, interviewing drunk people, I
think there's like, you know, 80% seriously, they might whoop
your ass especially, you know? You can go around Homestead be
awesome. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
Well, anyways, I've kept you waytoo long, but that's.

(01:18:19):
OK, I love it here. Do you want to do a scary story
or we're good? No.
OK, cool. Yeah, catches scary story in.
The live show. The Live.
Show and thank you, Mitchell. It's always a pleasure having
you. Please come back anytime.
Let me know when you're next available.
I love to be here and I love you.
I love you probably more than your wife does.

(01:18:42):
I think I do. That's.
Totally true. That's because her love.
Is hello. That's true.
Hi, Eric's mom. Hi, Curtis.
I love you all. Thank you all for listening.
This was Wimpa ween #5. Stay tuned and come see me
because I'm going to do more like in person stuff if you're

(01:19:03):
in Waco. On Friday, I'll be there.
We'll see. Yeah, that way Now that will be
already done. But like, I'm sure like
hopefully if he the guy keeps liking me, we'll invite us to do
more cool stuff. And maybe we'll do another
musical together next year. We'll definitely, definitely.
Do. We're definitely doing.
There's a play that we're doing song of if a Genniah.

(01:19:27):
Yes, yes, but anyways, thank youall for listening.
Don't forget to stay new to yourpets.
Good night. Girl cock, girl cock.

(01:20:00):
Have you seen the judo camera that they use for the banger for
the bucks?