You're not failing - you're grieving: what nobody tells you about moving abroad

In this vulnerable and truth-telling episode, Nic Scholtysik (belonging researcher) and Natalia Szyszka (psychotherapist) talk about the unique texture of expat friendship: urgent, sometimes deep, often short-lived — and always shaped by the invisible emotional labor of starting over. This episode is a must for anyone living abroad, working in HR, or supporting globally mobile talent. We unpack why expat friendship feels different, what grief hides behind even a “good relocation,” and how connection can be made more sustainable across cultures.

Shownotes:

• [00:03:21] – Why expat friendships start fast — and often end just as fast

• [00:09:21] – “You’re not depressed — you’re grieving the life you chose not to live.”

• [00:17:10] – The cultural ‘codes’ of friendship and how they vary country to country

• [00:23:45] – Why loneliness persists, even with a social life

• [00:28:02] – What HR and leadership usually miss in onboarding international talent

• [00:35:27] – How to offer empathy without pity or overstepping

• [00:41:50] – What rituals, habits, and ‘sameness’ can do for stability abroad

• [00:49:03] – Identity loss, partner dynamics, and emotional exhaustion in new countries

• [00:58:33] – Hopeful ways to reframe disconnection, without rushing the process