May 23, 2024 • 29 mins
Join Gia in an empowering conversation with international speaker and award-winning author, Simone Knego, on overcoming self-doubt, climbing Mount Kilimanjaro, and redefining success. Simone shares her journey of self-discovery and the creation of the Real Method to inspire and impact women. Discover the power of positive affirmations and practical tips for managing a bustling household while prioritizing self-care. Tune in to learn how to rewrite the rules of success and step into your next chapter with authentic confidence.
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua. Thanks for
(00:41):
joining us. Today, I am so excited to introduce
you to Simone Knego. Simone is an international speaker
and award-winning author of the bestselling book, The Extraordinary, Unordinary
You. She's a two-time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured
on ABC, NBC, and CBS, and in Entrepreneur Magazine
and Yahoo News. Her literary contributions have been
(01:03):
honored by the National Indie Excellence Award and the
NYC Big Book Award. Simone's not only
summited Mount Kilimanjaro, but she's also the heart of
a bustling household with six children, three dogs, and
one husband of 30 years. As the creator of
The Real Method, Simone continues to inspire and impact teams,
fostering growth and promoting self-discovery. Simone, so
(01:33):
Absolutely. I'm excited to chat with you today. So tell us,
we've got a lot to talk about. Tell us a little bit about your
So I am someone that has struggled with self-doubt my
whole life until about nine years ago where
I did something crazy that kind of changed everything for me. But I
(01:56):
started off as a CPA. I became a
teacher. I ran a horse farm. I've done all
kinds of things in my life. I'm a big believer. It's okay to change your
mind. And it wasn't until yeah, about nine
years ago where I figured out what my, where my passion was,
and that was in helping other people, but
more specifically by sharing my stories. And I
(02:21):
don't think I realized the power of a story before that moment
in time. That really changed everything. I changed
my relationship with my family. I've been married to my husband for 31 years now.
We have six children. We adopted our youngest three. And I
really decided that I wanted to put what I learned in overcoming
my self-doubt or holding it back. We all still have voices
(02:42):
that like to pop up in our heads, but to
put together a method that based on what I did so that
That's incredible. And so I love how you, you know, talk about we all sort
of struggle with self-doubt and it doesn't ever I
guess, really go away. But it's just how do we manage it
(03:05):
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's something that when
you look at statistics, 85% of people
in this world struggle with self-esteem. And that's
huge, right? That's across the board, men and women. And definitely, I
feel like with women, it's even more
difficult. Like we feel like we have these societal expectations,
(03:29):
and I don't think we should have these anymore.
Like we should be exactly who we are. As long as we're being the good in the world,
I'm not saying go out and, you know, be a miserable person, but I'm saying
that if we can positively impact other people, we
should be, we should not have to, you know, have this
specific body, drive this specific car, and we should all be happy.
(03:49):
We shouldn't have to worry about that all of the time. But so
much of it is what we see on social media. And
Yeah, for sure. I think I think you're right. I think the societal expectations
are still very strong and they are ingrained at a very young age.
And then we have our own self-imposed expectations that
(04:10):
we put on ourselves, right, in terms of perfectionistic
tendencies and trying to be everything to everyone,
which can take a real toll on our mental and physical
health. So I think it's a great point. And it's time to shift that
narrative and and not feel like we have to fit in a
box and not feel like we have to do things to
(04:32):
appease other people, right? It's one thing to do something for someone
else because you want to versus feeling like you
have to. And I think that's where questioning our shoulds can can
be really powerful. And so I love that shift of being authentic and
being able to Allow yourself
to be who you want to be, right? And who you are at your core. I
(04:55):
think that's incredibly powerful. I love also what you said about being able
to change your mind. I feel like so many women get stuck on this trajectory
of when they start out of college, like you don't really know what you want to do with
the rest of your life when you're 20 years old. Right. But, but
we're sort of asked to make that decision at a very young age. And
then. And then we get stuck in this trajectory where we feel like it's
(05:16):
very scary to change course, to step out
of. what we've been doing and what we know, what feels safe
and what feels comfortable. And then you also have that external, well,
what will other people think? What will other people say? And it also feels
like starting over. So I love that you were able to you
know, have multiple careers and pivot when,
(05:38):
you know, you felt called to pivot. So I would love to
just understand from your perspective, how I mean,
there's a lot of it that's tied wrapped up in our identity. So would
you talk for a minute about you know, that process of sort of
reinvention and and what allowed you to pivot in those moments.
I really struggled for so long, kind
(05:59):
of figuring out who I was. Right. And it was societal
stuff. It's stuff that was that my parents had
had to say. Right. And I had great parents. So but just they
grew up in a time where you followed these rules. Like
my mom was a physician and she never wore pants. to
work. She always wore a dress because that was the
(06:22):
expectation. And I look back at that and think like, how is
that even possible? And it wasn't that long ago. But I
think we have to understand that we have one life, right? And we
need to be happy in our lives. Whatever happiness means to you, One
of the things I've realized is that there is a job, you can make a job
(06:42):
out of anything. Like you can make money, especially these days when you
look at influencers and people that make, oh
my gosh, so much money off of something that you're
like, how is that possible? But I really think that it opens up
so many doors for people that they can do something different
and still do well. Now I'm not saying go quit your job tomorrow, but
(07:03):
figure out what you're passionate about. And that's kind of what I, how I started
was I realized, oh, wait, difference, because I've
always been big on philanthropy and helping other people, but
that I can make a difference just by using my words and
changing the way I say things, not just on a stage, but
just how I interact with people as well. And really
(07:26):
thinking about that. Okay. This is something I'm really, I'm really passionate about now.
How can I turn that into a career? And
I started speaking on a volunteer basis
and then. started speaking for a fee and then
started doing podcasting and realized that everybody's voice
matters. And not that I didn't know that before, but just the
(07:47):
profound impact you can make by changing your mind and doing something
different and not staying that same course that you thought you would have to do your entire
Yeah, so powerful. And that calling that you listen to
how I can really impact other people's lives in
a very positive way and following that because
(08:09):
that can be very scary. And it also ties back to what you said when
we started about the power of a story and using your words to
really create an impact in the world. So I love that. So Simone,
tell us a little bit about in the work that you do, you've created
These are the steps that I took when I was really struggling
with self-doubt and Kind of the breakthrough on that, and
(08:32):
we can talk about this later, but the breakthrough on that really came when
I was asked to do something that was completely out of my wheelhouse, completely
out of my comfort zone, which was climb a mountain. And
I was really struggling at that point. And my husband
has always been really supportive. He's like, you should do it. Like you
need to, you know, really take the step, get out
(08:53):
of your shell, see what you're capable of. I know what you're
capable of, but I think that you're struggling to see that. And
so that moment really changed for me. And what I realized
is there are four parts for me. First one is respecting your
reflection. I think that we
are taught to respect our elders, respect
(09:15):
our teachers, respect our parents. I
don't ever remember being taught that the most important person to
respect is yourself. That if you don't
have self-respect, then how is it possible to respect
all these other people? Truly, because you don't really understand what it means. The
second part is embracing our failures. And
(09:38):
I think especially for women, a lot of times we feel like
if we have a bump in the road, if we make a mistake, then
we shouldn't try ever again. And that is so far from the truth. We
really need to learn from that moment in time and
be able to move forward because that's where
the growth comes is when we challenge ourself when things are really
(10:00):
difficult. It's not when. you know, unicorns and rainbows are
happening that we're like, Oh wait, I've made so much growth. You're it,
that's the status quo. It's really taking it to that next level and understanding
that your failure, your mistake does not
equal your worth, right? It's a moment in time and that's it.
The next thing is asking yourself what you want. So respect,
(10:23):
embrace, I mean, ask love. And so ask
is, How often do
we actually ask ourselves what we want? And this goes back to figuring
out that it's okay to change your mind and choose something different, do a
different job, do something that you're passionate about, change the
way you do things. But rarely do we ask ourselves what we
(10:43):
want. And especially as women, we spend so much
time caring for other people that a lot of times it's
hard for us to take that step back and
take care of ourselves. And the last part is loving
the woman in the mirror. And I think that this is crucial because
(11:04):
I can tell you from my past that I did
not love the woman in the mirror. I didn't love what I saw. Didn't
matter what anybody else saw. It was what I saw. And I think
we need to remind ourselves that our truth is not always the
truth, right? So what we see, we've conditioned
ourselves to think that you have to look a certain way, that you have to act
(11:26):
a certain way. And by really changing
that narrative and embracing all of the different parts of
us. That's where I think it's like,
I talk about growth, but also when you're comfortable with
yourself, really everything changes your relationship with your husband, your
relationship with your children, your partner, whatever. I
(11:47):
mean, everything changes because you're, you're willing to
take different risks and you're comfortable in your skin. And
that took a long time for me to get there. So
respect, respect your reflection, embrace your failures, ask
Amazing. I love that. That is so incredibly powerful. And
(12:08):
I love the, in particular, what do you want? I think you're right.
I think we don't ask ourselves enough. when it comes to our priorities and
what we actually want from our own lives. Super
important. And so the other thing I think
is important to ask ourselves is what do we need? What do we need in that moment? What
(12:30):
do we need in our lives that we're missing. And
I think that's another important one to add. And what
you said about how we see ourselves versus how other people see us, I
talk about this a lot in the work that I do as well, is there's this dissonance
between our self-image and how other people
see us. And how do we reconcile that? How do we reconcile that
(12:53):
people see us in such a bright light, and
We've told ourselves this narrative for so long or society
has made these innuendos and we've taken
them on as our personas. And I feel like that
the important thing is that we understand that we
(13:15):
can change that. And part of it is with, for me, what
works really well is positive affirmations. And
they have to be specific to you. I mean, there's blanket ones
that I will teach people to start with, but then it really is
about making it all about you, what your needs
are, where you want to make a change, understanding what your
(13:35):
strengths are, and going from there. And When
you look at how if we can believe all the
negative stuff, if we can look in the mirror and say,
you're not pretty enough, you're not skinny enough, whatever the
negative things that we say to ourselves, we
can change the story. And by changing the story, we
(13:56):
can start believing the positive stuff. And it is actually scientifically proven.
There's a lot of research on it that these positive affirmations can
change the way you see yourself. leads to a
lot of different things, but I feel like we
need to start changing that narrative so that we
(14:21):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. So you
conquered self-doubt, and you also conquered
Both are incredible feats of strength. So we
A friend of ours said, Hey, they're putting
(14:43):
a team together for next year. And it was raising funds for the Livestrong Foundation.
And they asked my husband and my husband basically said,
one, two, three, no, thank you. Why don't you call Simone? And
they did. And he was like, I am not sleeping in a tent. I
am not making myself suffer. That's just not what I want to do. Now. I
kind of feel like he regrets it because he sees the incredible growth I've had from
(15:04):
that moment in time. But
I made a commitment and it was a commitment to myself. And I think that's a
big part of confidence is that when we make a commitment to ourselves that
we follow through on it because it's
one thing if I didn't make it to the top, you know, that that's okay. But
if I just quit before I even started because I didn't think I
(15:25):
would be able to do it, that's a whole different story.
But I said yes. And There were
16 of us. I didn't know anybody who was going. And I got partnered
with a woman who is a breast cancer survivor.
And some of the people on the team are climbing another in, you
know, to support other people that were going through treatment. Other people were there
(15:48):
because they were survivors. And it
was completely life changing. So I not only was I climbing
with strangers, I mean, when you talk about leadership, leadership in a boardroom is
one thing leadership on a mountain. That's a whole different thing. And
you're working with strangers, right? Like you're trying to figure out
how you can accomplish the goal of summiting together.
(16:09):
I mean, that was the big thing. Do we stay together? Do we break apart? What
do we do? And It was so
interesting to see how we came together as a group, and
we still reach out to each other, which is really nice.
Actually, my tent mate, she actually doesn't live far from me now, so I see her at
least once a year, which is awesome. But the
(16:32):
idea of doing something out
of your wheelhouse, I like to say to people, what's your Kilimanjaro? Like, let's
figure out the thing that would help you change your mind,
help you change your story in a way that you feel
really powerful. What's something you've always wanted to do or something
that you've never wanted to do, but you know it will be life changing. And
(16:53):
that's what this was for me. cannot tell
you how many people said to me, do
you really think you're going to make it to the top? No, I
think I'm going to make it halfway. That's why I'm doing it. And my,
which is right. I mean, this is ridiculous, but what I've realized from
that is that we can't let other people's own
(17:14):
perception of themselves or what they're not capable
of doing or what they think they're not capable of doing guide what
we're capable of doing. And you see that a
lot. And you see a lot of women will say
some kind of negative comment, but you actually realize that
it has nothing to do with you. It's how they feel about
(17:36):
themselves. And then of course my thought process goes
to helping that person. It
was life changing. I got to the summit and I really thought all
of the moments in time where I doubted myself that I'm
not going to think that way anymore. I'm really going to think that when I set
a goal and put in the work that I can accomplish what
(18:01):
That's that's the starting point. And then, you know, what you said earlier about
making that commitment to yourself, if that's truly what you want, how do
you commit to yourself to make that dream a reality,
make that goal happen? And so I think that's really important and great.
Incredible story. And I could see why it must have been such a
transformative moment for you in your life. And I love how you talked about the
(18:25):
I mean, there's no bathrooms. You have to figure out how
to make that work. Right. And middle of the night when it's freezing
outside, all these all these things that you don't necessarily really
focus on before you get there. Every detail matters. Right. And every
detail in our lives matter. It's not just pretending this
thing isn't happening. You have to take ownership and follow
(18:51):
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For
sure. So, Simone, I know that you have six children. I
have two and I struggle at
times. I hear you. And so, as a
working mother, I would
love if you could share with us maybe some tips,
(19:13):
tools, advice, any mom hacks that you have in
It's giving myself grace knowing that I'm not going to finish everything every
day like I need to, really prioritizing. I
joke that, but it's not a joke. It's serious. I still
make a paper list of all the things I have to do. And I
make it on a pink piece of paper because nobody else uses pink paper in my
(19:35):
house. So I know that I'll always be able to find it. And people laugh
when I say that, but I'm like, let me tell you how many times I've lost my list
and then have to recreate it. Or someone just thinks it's
like a scratch paper, so they throw it away. But really,
Figuring out, understanding that you
can't do everything, right? And I know we talk about balance a
(19:57):
lot, but some days are going to be more about
the kids and some days are going to be more about work and understanding
that that's okay, right? And then adding to
that is the self-care piece that we have to remind ourselves
that we have to take care of ourself first. We're better humans when
we take some time for ourselves, whether it's watching
(20:19):
a TV show by yourself or sitting and reading a book, going
to get a massage, whatever your thing is to recharge
your battery, that's so important to do. But
I realized with my kids that, and I'm realistic with
them, that there's just no way to do it all, right? You
have to take some days are more difficult than
(20:42):
others. It's about not being so hard on
yourself when those things happen. So, I mean,
I have, things are, used to be pretty structured
when they were little. With six kids, it was hard to get everything in
the mix. And there were times, there were times where we'd
be in the car driving to school and all of a sudden I realized, well, that
(21:04):
one does not have shoes on. Great. Okay. Is
there a target nearby?" We all have these
things that we go through and in the moment they seem like the biggest
obstacles and you look back later and you're like, okay, that was ridiculous. Okay,
give yourself some grace, ladies. Like you can definitely get
(21:25):
through all these different things. And yeah, there's days people will say to
me, Oh, I only have two kids. And I'm like, there's not
an only there, right? It is one kid, six
kids, whatever it is, they all have their unique ways of working
with you as a parent. And some days it just takes
(21:46):
For sure. It's great advice. Give yourself some grace. And I
think it is important to realize that no matter the optics
of other people, whether it's on social media or in real life, we all struggle
with the same things, right? The one
We're all dealing with the same things. And also talking about it because I think a
(22:06):
lot of times people feel like if you talk about what
you struggle with, that makes you weak. No, it doesn't make you weak. It makes you
human. What I've realized is the more I share my struggles, the
more people are willing to share theirs and it makes you feel better,
right? Like you feel like first of all, you're not alone, but
also you can learn something from somebody else when they're saying, okay, let me tell you what
(22:32):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being vulnerable, right.
And being able to talk about those things and open up and, and it creates
connection between you and other people as well. And it can be very powerful. So.
Totally, totally agree. Simone,
in this podcast, we talk a lot about success and redefining
success. So I would love to know from your perspective, how do
(22:58):
And how has so I would say today that my definition
of success is really, if I can,
it's inspiring that one person, it's helping that one person change
the way they see themselves. And feel better
about what they're going through in their lives. If I can help one person, then
I feel very successful. I think
(23:20):
in the past, success, I always thought of success was, Oh,
you have to be a CEO of this company, or you have to have this much money in
your bank. But those aren't the things for me, at least
that satisfy Satisfy me.
I was talking to my daughter who I have the
podcast with, Olivia, today. I asked her, I said, what
(23:41):
does success mean to you? And she's 21. So she said,
right now, success means that I have enough
money in my bank account that I can pay my bills, that I'm
not going to be late on my rent. And I thought that was a really unique perspective at
21. those are her thoughts at that age. And now that I'm beyond the
stage of, okay, I have enough money to pay my bills, that
(24:06):
how do I really want to be remembered, right? What do I really want to be known
for? Or how do I really want to feel about myself? And again,
that's why success to me, to me means that we're
able to, I'm able to inspire one other
Yeah. Yeah,
(24:28):
that's beautiful. And really figuring out what it is that does fulfill
you and satisfy you, and lights you up, right? Because,
you know, to go your whole life, not figuring out what that is,
is, is, you know, pretty unfortunate and
sad. And so we all have the power to do that. So I think that's an important takeaway there.
And, you know, having impact, what is the impact you're making on the world? And,
(24:51):
you know, what you just said, also, too, about legacy, what is the legacy you
want to leave behind when you want to be remembered for and taking
intentional steps to work towards that. So, so beautifully stated.
What is one thing that you want our listeners to consider doing
I'd really love for them to try positive affirmations, whether they say them to themselves in the
(25:11):
mirror in the morning, or they write them down in a journal, because
I truly believe it will change the way you see yourself. That
having something to say to yourself
every morning. I've had people say to me, oh, there's nothing I like about myself.
I'm like, oh, that is not true. I'm gonna tell you right
away, that's not true. Could be your eyelashes, it
(25:34):
could be, you got to someone. But I think it's so important that
we use the tools that are available to
us and we can realize that they can totally transform
so many parts of our lives by doing it. And so, Try
positive affirmations. I will tell you, if you would have said that to me 10 years
ago, I would have said, no way. That's
(25:55):
too woo-woo. That does not work. And I will tell you now that it absolutely works.
You got to do it. You got to commit to it. You can't try it one time and
say, oh, it didn't work for me. Okay. Did you go to the gym one time and you
were totally fit after? No. So it's really important
that you're consistent with anything we do in life. Consistency is
(26:21):
For sure. For sure. I
know. And I had the same experience early on, you know, I was very skeptical.
And then and I am very rooted in neuroscience. And
so once I understood the neuroscience behind it, and how it actually
can help change and rewire your brain, You
know, that's when I finally broke through, oh, OK, well, maybe there's something to
(26:42):
this. Right. And then learning that other people have had positive experiences and
understanding how it works really was a game changer for
me. So I think that's that's great advice. And I
love what you said earlier, too, about making sure it's personal to you.
Right. And making sure that it's meaningful. to you and
where you see yourself and where you want to be. So that's
(27:02):
great advice. Simone, thank you so much for being
Where can our listeners learn more about you? Another great conversation. I
really enjoyed this time with you as well. You can find me
on my website, simoneknego.com, S-I-M-O-N-E-K-N-E-G-O dot
com. And I'm actually revamping my website in the next two
weeks, so it'll be a whole new ballgame. I'm
(27:25):
on Instagram, Facebook. You can find me there too,
LinkedIn, but you can see everything that I'm doing on my
Perfect. And of course you can visit my website at gialacqua.com. Reach
out on Instagram at gialacqua. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and
leave a review. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy.
(27:49):
Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until next time, your
That concludes another empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now.
Before we wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
(28:10):
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
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(28:31):
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua. Thanks for
(00:41):
joining us. Today, I am so excited to introduce
you to Simone Knego. Simone is an international speaker
and award-winning author of the bestselling book, The Extraordinary, Unordinary
You. She's a two-time TEDx speaker, and her work has been featured
on ABC, NBC, and CBS, and in Entrepreneur Magazine
and Yahoo News. Her literary contributions have been
(01:03):
honored by the National Indie Excellence Award and the
NYC Big Book Award. Simone's not only
summited Mount Kilimanjaro, but she's also the heart of
a bustling household with six children, three dogs, and
one husband of 30 years. As the creator of
The Real Method, Simone continues to inspire and impact teams,
fostering growth and promoting self-discovery. Simone, so
(01:33):
Absolutely. I'm excited to chat with you today. So tell us,
we've got a lot to talk about. Tell us a little bit about your
So I am someone that has struggled with self-doubt my
whole life until about nine years ago where
I did something crazy that kind of changed everything for me. But I
(01:56):
started off as a CPA. I became a
teacher. I ran a horse farm. I've done all
kinds of things in my life. I'm a big believer. It's okay to change your
mind. And it wasn't until yeah, about nine
years ago where I figured out what my, where my passion was,
and that was in helping other people, but
more specifically by sharing my stories. And I
(02:21):
don't think I realized the power of a story before that moment
in time. That really changed everything. I changed
my relationship with my family. I've been married to my husband for 31 years now.
We have six children. We adopted our youngest three. And I
really decided that I wanted to put what I learned in overcoming
my self-doubt or holding it back. We all still have voices
(02:42):
that like to pop up in our heads, but to
put together a method that based on what I did so that
That's incredible. And so I love how you, you know, talk about we all sort
of struggle with self-doubt and it doesn't ever I
guess, really go away. But it's just how do we manage it
(03:05):
Yeah, absolutely. I mean, it's something that when
you look at statistics, 85% of people
in this world struggle with self-esteem. And that's
huge, right? That's across the board, men and women. And definitely, I
feel like with women, it's even more
difficult. Like we feel like we have these societal expectations,
(03:29):
and I don't think we should have these anymore.
Like we should be exactly who we are. As long as we're being the good in the world,
I'm not saying go out and, you know, be a miserable person, but I'm saying
that if we can positively impact other people, we
should be, we should not have to, you know, have this
specific body, drive this specific car, and we should all be happy.
(03:49):
We shouldn't have to worry about that all of the time. But so
much of it is what we see on social media. And
Yeah, for sure. I think I think you're right. I think the societal expectations
are still very strong and they are ingrained at a very young age.
And then we have our own self-imposed expectations that
(04:10):
we put on ourselves, right, in terms of perfectionistic
tendencies and trying to be everything to everyone,
which can take a real toll on our mental and physical
health. So I think it's a great point. And it's time to shift that
narrative and and not feel like we have to fit in a
box and not feel like we have to do things to
(04:32):
appease other people, right? It's one thing to do something for someone
else because you want to versus feeling like you
have to. And I think that's where questioning our shoulds can can
be really powerful. And so I love that shift of being authentic and
being able to Allow yourself
to be who you want to be, right? And who you are at your core. I
(04:55):
think that's incredibly powerful. I love also what you said about being able
to change your mind. I feel like so many women get stuck on this trajectory
of when they start out of college, like you don't really know what you want to do with
the rest of your life when you're 20 years old. Right. But, but
we're sort of asked to make that decision at a very young age. And
then. And then we get stuck in this trajectory where we feel like it's
(05:16):
very scary to change course, to step out
of. what we've been doing and what we know, what feels safe
and what feels comfortable. And then you also have that external, well,
what will other people think? What will other people say? And it also feels
like starting over. So I love that you were able to you
know, have multiple careers and pivot when,
(05:38):
you know, you felt called to pivot. So I would love to
just understand from your perspective, how I mean,
there's a lot of it that's tied wrapped up in our identity. So would
you talk for a minute about you know, that process of sort of
reinvention and and what allowed you to pivot in those moments.
I really struggled for so long, kind
(05:59):
of figuring out who I was. Right. And it was societal
stuff. It's stuff that was that my parents had
had to say. Right. And I had great parents. So but just they
grew up in a time where you followed these rules. Like
my mom was a physician and she never wore pants. to
work. She always wore a dress because that was the
(06:22):
expectation. And I look back at that and think like, how is
that even possible? And it wasn't that long ago. But I
think we have to understand that we have one life, right? And we
need to be happy in our lives. Whatever happiness means to you, One
of the things I've realized is that there is a job, you can make a job
(06:42):
out of anything. Like you can make money, especially these days when you
look at influencers and people that make, oh
my gosh, so much money off of something that you're
like, how is that possible? But I really think that it opens up
so many doors for people that they can do something different
and still do well. Now I'm not saying go quit your job tomorrow, but
(07:03):
figure out what you're passionate about. And that's kind of what I, how I started
was I realized, oh, wait, difference, because I've
always been big on philanthropy and helping other people, but
that I can make a difference just by using my words and
changing the way I say things, not just on a stage, but
just how I interact with people as well. And really
(07:26):
thinking about that. Okay. This is something I'm really, I'm really passionate about now.
How can I turn that into a career? And
I started speaking on a volunteer basis
and then. started speaking for a fee and then
started doing podcasting and realized that everybody's voice
matters. And not that I didn't know that before, but just the
(07:47):
profound impact you can make by changing your mind and doing something
different and not staying that same course that you thought you would have to do your entire
Yeah, so powerful. And that calling that you listen to
how I can really impact other people's lives in
a very positive way and following that because
(08:09):
that can be very scary. And it also ties back to what you said when
we started about the power of a story and using your words to
really create an impact in the world. So I love that. So Simone,
tell us a little bit about in the work that you do, you've created
These are the steps that I took when I was really struggling
with self-doubt and Kind of the breakthrough on that, and
(08:32):
we can talk about this later, but the breakthrough on that really came when
I was asked to do something that was completely out of my wheelhouse, completely
out of my comfort zone, which was climb a mountain. And
I was really struggling at that point. And my husband
has always been really supportive. He's like, you should do it. Like you
need to, you know, really take the step, get out
(08:53):
of your shell, see what you're capable of. I know what you're
capable of, but I think that you're struggling to see that. And
so that moment really changed for me. And what I realized
is there are four parts for me. First one is respecting your
reflection. I think that we
are taught to respect our elders, respect
(09:15):
our teachers, respect our parents. I
don't ever remember being taught that the most important person to
respect is yourself. That if you don't
have self-respect, then how is it possible to respect
all these other people? Truly, because you don't really understand what it means. The
second part is embracing our failures. And
(09:38):
I think especially for women, a lot of times we feel like
if we have a bump in the road, if we make a mistake, then
we shouldn't try ever again. And that is so far from the truth. We
really need to learn from that moment in time and
be able to move forward because that's where
the growth comes is when we challenge ourself when things are really
(10:00):
difficult. It's not when. you know, unicorns and rainbows are
happening that we're like, Oh wait, I've made so much growth. You're it,
that's the status quo. It's really taking it to that next level and understanding
that your failure, your mistake does not
equal your worth, right? It's a moment in time and that's it.
The next thing is asking yourself what you want. So respect,
(10:23):
embrace, I mean, ask love. And so ask
is, How often do
we actually ask ourselves what we want? And this goes back to figuring
out that it's okay to change your mind and choose something different, do a
different job, do something that you're passionate about, change the
way you do things. But rarely do we ask ourselves what we
(10:43):
want. And especially as women, we spend so much
time caring for other people that a lot of times it's
hard for us to take that step back and
take care of ourselves. And the last part is loving
the woman in the mirror. And I think that this is crucial because
(11:04):
I can tell you from my past that I did
not love the woman in the mirror. I didn't love what I saw. Didn't
matter what anybody else saw. It was what I saw. And I think
we need to remind ourselves that our truth is not always the
truth, right? So what we see, we've conditioned
ourselves to think that you have to look a certain way, that you have to act
(11:26):
a certain way. And by really changing
that narrative and embracing all of the different parts of
us. That's where I think it's like,
I talk about growth, but also when you're comfortable with
yourself, really everything changes your relationship with your husband, your
relationship with your children, your partner, whatever. I
(11:47):
mean, everything changes because you're, you're willing to
take different risks and you're comfortable in your skin. And
that took a long time for me to get there. So
respect, respect your reflection, embrace your failures, ask
Amazing. I love that. That is so incredibly powerful. And
(12:08):
I love the, in particular, what do you want? I think you're right.
I think we don't ask ourselves enough. when it comes to our priorities and
what we actually want from our own lives. Super
important. And so the other thing I think
is important to ask ourselves is what do we need? What do we need in that moment? What
(12:30):
do we need in our lives that we're missing. And
I think that's another important one to add. And what
you said about how we see ourselves versus how other people see us, I
talk about this a lot in the work that I do as well, is there's this dissonance
between our self-image and how other people
see us. And how do we reconcile that? How do we reconcile that
(12:53):
people see us in such a bright light, and
We've told ourselves this narrative for so long or society
has made these innuendos and we've taken
them on as our personas. And I feel like that
the important thing is that we understand that we
(13:15):
can change that. And part of it is with, for me, what
works really well is positive affirmations. And
they have to be specific to you. I mean, there's blanket ones
that I will teach people to start with, but then it really is
about making it all about you, what your needs
are, where you want to make a change, understanding what your
(13:35):
strengths are, and going from there. And When
you look at how if we can believe all the
negative stuff, if we can look in the mirror and say,
you're not pretty enough, you're not skinny enough, whatever the
negative things that we say to ourselves, we
can change the story. And by changing the story, we
(13:56):
can start believing the positive stuff. And it is actually scientifically proven.
There's a lot of research on it that these positive affirmations can
change the way you see yourself. leads to a
lot of different things, but I feel like we
need to start changing that narrative so that we
(14:21):
Yeah, I love that. I love that. So you
conquered self-doubt, and you also conquered
Both are incredible feats of strength. So we
A friend of ours said, Hey, they're putting
(14:43):
a team together for next year. And it was raising funds for the Livestrong Foundation.
And they asked my husband and my husband basically said,
one, two, three, no, thank you. Why don't you call Simone? And
they did. And he was like, I am not sleeping in a tent. I
am not making myself suffer. That's just not what I want to do. Now. I
kind of feel like he regrets it because he sees the incredible growth I've had from
(15:04):
that moment in time. But
I made a commitment and it was a commitment to myself. And I think that's a
big part of confidence is that when we make a commitment to ourselves that
we follow through on it because it's
one thing if I didn't make it to the top, you know, that that's okay. But
if I just quit before I even started because I didn't think I
(15:25):
would be able to do it, that's a whole different story.
But I said yes. And There were
16 of us. I didn't know anybody who was going. And I got partnered
with a woman who is a breast cancer survivor.
And some of the people on the team are climbing another in, you
know, to support other people that were going through treatment. Other people were there
(15:48):
because they were survivors. And it
was completely life changing. So I not only was I climbing
with strangers, I mean, when you talk about leadership, leadership in a boardroom is
one thing leadership on a mountain. That's a whole different thing. And
you're working with strangers, right? Like you're trying to figure out
how you can accomplish the goal of summiting together.
(16:09):
I mean, that was the big thing. Do we stay together? Do we break apart? What
do we do? And It was so
interesting to see how we came together as a group, and
we still reach out to each other, which is really nice.
Actually, my tent mate, she actually doesn't live far from me now, so I see her at
least once a year, which is awesome. But the
(16:32):
idea of doing something out
of your wheelhouse, I like to say to people, what's your Kilimanjaro? Like, let's
figure out the thing that would help you change your mind,
help you change your story in a way that you feel
really powerful. What's something you've always wanted to do or something
that you've never wanted to do, but you know it will be life changing. And
(16:53):
that's what this was for me. cannot tell
you how many people said to me, do
you really think you're going to make it to the top? No, I
think I'm going to make it halfway. That's why I'm doing it. And my,
which is right. I mean, this is ridiculous, but what I've realized from
that is that we can't let other people's own
(17:14):
perception of themselves or what they're not capable
of doing or what they think they're not capable of doing guide what
we're capable of doing. And you see that a
lot. And you see a lot of women will say
some kind of negative comment, but you actually realize that
it has nothing to do with you. It's how they feel about
(17:36):
themselves. And then of course my thought process goes
to helping that person. It
was life changing. I got to the summit and I really thought all
of the moments in time where I doubted myself that I'm
not going to think that way anymore. I'm really going to think that when I set
a goal and put in the work that I can accomplish what
(18:01):
That's that's the starting point. And then, you know, what you said earlier about
making that commitment to yourself, if that's truly what you want, how do
you commit to yourself to make that dream a reality,
make that goal happen? And so I think that's really important and great.
Incredible story. And I could see why it must have been such a
transformative moment for you in your life. And I love how you talked about the
(18:25):
I mean, there's no bathrooms. You have to figure out how
to make that work. Right. And middle of the night when it's freezing
outside, all these all these things that you don't necessarily really
focus on before you get there. Every detail matters. Right. And every
detail in our lives matter. It's not just pretending this
thing isn't happening. You have to take ownership and follow
(18:51):
Yeah. Yeah, for sure. For
sure. So, Simone, I know that you have six children. I
have two and I struggle at
times. I hear you. And so, as a
working mother, I would
love if you could share with us maybe some tips,
(19:13):
tools, advice, any mom hacks that you have in
It's giving myself grace knowing that I'm not going to finish everything every
day like I need to, really prioritizing. I
joke that, but it's not a joke. It's serious. I still
make a paper list of all the things I have to do. And I
make it on a pink piece of paper because nobody else uses pink paper in my
(19:35):
house. So I know that I'll always be able to find it. And people laugh
when I say that, but I'm like, let me tell you how many times I've lost my list
and then have to recreate it. Or someone just thinks it's
like a scratch paper, so they throw it away. But really,
Figuring out, understanding that you
can't do everything, right? And I know we talk about balance a
(19:57):
lot, but some days are going to be more about
the kids and some days are going to be more about work and understanding
that that's okay, right? And then adding to
that is the self-care piece that we have to remind ourselves
that we have to take care of ourself first. We're better humans when
we take some time for ourselves, whether it's watching
(20:19):
a TV show by yourself or sitting and reading a book, going
to get a massage, whatever your thing is to recharge
your battery, that's so important to do. But
I realized with my kids that, and I'm realistic with
them, that there's just no way to do it all, right? You
have to take some days are more difficult than
(20:42):
others. It's about not being so hard on
yourself when those things happen. So, I mean,
I have, things are, used to be pretty structured
when they were little. With six kids, it was hard to get everything in
the mix. And there were times, there were times where we'd
be in the car driving to school and all of a sudden I realized, well, that
(21:04):
one does not have shoes on. Great. Okay. Is
there a target nearby?" We all have these
things that we go through and in the moment they seem like the biggest
obstacles and you look back later and you're like, okay, that was ridiculous. Okay,
give yourself some grace, ladies. Like you can definitely get
(21:25):
through all these different things. And yeah, there's days people will say to
me, Oh, I only have two kids. And I'm like, there's not
an only there, right? It is one kid, six
kids, whatever it is, they all have their unique ways of working
with you as a parent. And some days it just takes
(21:46):
For sure. It's great advice. Give yourself some grace. And I
think it is important to realize that no matter the optics
of other people, whether it's on social media or in real life, we all struggle
with the same things, right? The one
We're all dealing with the same things. And also talking about it because I think a
(22:06):
lot of times people feel like if you talk about what
you struggle with, that makes you weak. No, it doesn't make you weak. It makes you
human. What I've realized is the more I share my struggles, the
more people are willing to share theirs and it makes you feel better,
right? Like you feel like first of all, you're not alone, but
also you can learn something from somebody else when they're saying, okay, let me tell you what
(22:32):
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being vulnerable, right.
And being able to talk about those things and open up and, and it creates
connection between you and other people as well. And it can be very powerful. So.
Totally, totally agree. Simone,
in this podcast, we talk a lot about success and redefining
success. So I would love to know from your perspective, how do
(22:58):
And how has so I would say today that my definition
of success is really, if I can,
it's inspiring that one person, it's helping that one person change
the way they see themselves. And feel better
about what they're going through in their lives. If I can help one person, then
I feel very successful. I think
(23:20):
in the past, success, I always thought of success was, Oh,
you have to be a CEO of this company, or you have to have this much money in
your bank. But those aren't the things for me, at least
that satisfy Satisfy me.
I was talking to my daughter who I have the
podcast with, Olivia, today. I asked her, I said, what
(23:41):
does success mean to you? And she's 21. So she said,
right now, success means that I have enough
money in my bank account that I can pay my bills, that I'm
not going to be late on my rent. And I thought that was a really unique perspective at
21. those are her thoughts at that age. And now that I'm beyond the
stage of, okay, I have enough money to pay my bills, that
(24:06):
how do I really want to be remembered, right? What do I really want to be known
for? Or how do I really want to feel about myself? And again,
that's why success to me, to me means that we're
able to, I'm able to inspire one other
Yeah. Yeah,
(24:28):
that's beautiful. And really figuring out what it is that does fulfill
you and satisfy you, and lights you up, right? Because,
you know, to go your whole life, not figuring out what that is,
is, is, you know, pretty unfortunate and
sad. And so we all have the power to do that. So I think that's an important takeaway there.
And, you know, having impact, what is the impact you're making on the world? And,
(24:51):
you know, what you just said, also, too, about legacy, what is the legacy you
want to leave behind when you want to be remembered for and taking
intentional steps to work towards that. So, so beautifully stated.
What is one thing that you want our listeners to consider doing
I'd really love for them to try positive affirmations, whether they say them to themselves in the
(25:11):
mirror in the morning, or they write them down in a journal, because
I truly believe it will change the way you see yourself. That
having something to say to yourself
every morning. I've had people say to me, oh, there's nothing I like about myself.
I'm like, oh, that is not true. I'm gonna tell you right
away, that's not true. Could be your eyelashes, it
(25:34):
could be, you got to someone. But I think it's so important that
we use the tools that are available to
us and we can realize that they can totally transform
so many parts of our lives by doing it. And so, Try
positive affirmations. I will tell you, if you would have said that to me 10 years
ago, I would have said, no way. That's
(25:55):
too woo-woo. That does not work. And I will tell you now that it absolutely works.
You got to do it. You got to commit to it. You can't try it one time and
say, oh, it didn't work for me. Okay. Did you go to the gym one time and you
were totally fit after? No. So it's really important
that you're consistent with anything we do in life. Consistency is
(26:21):
For sure. For sure. I
know. And I had the same experience early on, you know, I was very skeptical.
And then and I am very rooted in neuroscience. And
so once I understood the neuroscience behind it, and how it actually
can help change and rewire your brain, You
know, that's when I finally broke through, oh, OK, well, maybe there's something to
(26:42):
this. Right. And then learning that other people have had positive experiences and
understanding how it works really was a game changer for
me. So I think that's that's great advice. And I
love what you said earlier, too, about making sure it's personal to you.
Right. And making sure that it's meaningful. to you and
where you see yourself and where you want to be. So that's
(27:02):
great advice. Simone, thank you so much for being
Where can our listeners learn more about you? Another great conversation. I
really enjoyed this time with you as well. You can find me
on my website, simoneknego.com, S-I-M-O-N-E-K-N-E-G-O dot
com. And I'm actually revamping my website in the next two
weeks, so it'll be a whole new ballgame. I'm
(27:25):
on Instagram, Facebook. You can find me there too,
LinkedIn, but you can see everything that I'm doing on my
Perfect. And of course you can visit my website at gialacqua.com. Reach
out on Instagram at gialacqua. Don't forget to subscribe, rate, and
leave a review. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy.
(27:49):
Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until next time, your
That concludes another empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now.
Before we wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
(28:10):
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
(28:31):
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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