April 26, 2024 • 35 mins
Join Gia on an empowering journey with special guest John Mollura, a personal performance coach and professional speaker. In this episode of Your Future Starts Now, John shares his remarkable transition from a rocket scientist to a multi-award-winning portrait photographer.
Discover how John's experiences leading teams in missions to Mars and protecting fighter jet pilots led him to rediscover his true self and find fulfillment. Dive deep into discussions on imposter syndrome, self-confidence, and redefining success. Gain valuable insights on overcoming self-doubt, increasing self-confidence, and aligning actions with values. Don't miss out on practical tips and exercises to boost your self-confidence and embrace authenticity. Tune in to this episode to embark on a transformative journey towards self-acceptance and empowerment.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you are exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm
your host, Gia Lacqua. Thanks for tuning in today. I am so
(00:43):
excited to introduce you to John Mollura John
is a personal performance coach and professional speaker who went from
being a literal rocket scientist to a multi-award-winning,
heart-centered portrait photographer. His unique career
path provided life experiences that most only dream of.
John spent decades leading various teams, some that
(01:05):
landed missions on Mars and others that protected the
pilots of the most advanced fighter jet in the world, the F-35. Today,
he provides world-class portraits and photographs that have been featured
by National Geographic, multiple Fortune 500 companies,
and some of the biggest names in music. However, John
also knows firsthand what it feels like when the walls of
(01:27):
achievement and elite-level accomplishments fail to
fill a void inside. As John rediscovered his
true self and his heart became more fulfilled, he longed for
others to have the same feelings of self-acceptance, and
empowerment. John, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here today.
Thanks. Yeah, glad we finally got to be here with all of our tech issues.
(01:54):
I'm going to ask the I guess I'll start with the elephant in the room. Tell
us a little bit about your backstory. You went from being a
rocket scientist working for NASA, and
you turn to photography and to
coaching. So tell us a little bit about your professional
Yeah, it it's it's certainly been a journey. And it was
(02:17):
as most of us are still a work in progress. I'd
always enjoyed photography. I think I got my first camera when I was seven. My
mom got it for me for my birthday and it just
was always a great creative outlet for me. I just always saw
the world differently and that's kind of
just how my photography started and fell
(02:38):
into the engineering
job in the space program, not because I was incredibly intelligent, actually
quite far from it. School was actually very difficult for me. But
I got the job in the space program because, as
with most things in life, when you look back on it, I
(02:58):
hit a big valley in college in that
I lost an internship that I was in competition for,
for Walt Disney World with someone. And when
I didn't get that, I didn't have a plan B for the summer. So what
I decided to do was work at a Boy Scout camp.
My fraternity brother said, Hey, you want to work out in the woods? And I was like, Yeah,
(03:20):
sure. That that sounds great. And when
I was doing that, I was supposed to be director of water sports. And
that fell through at the last minute again. But
I had been working with the maintenance crew, and being the unskilled labor,
I got all the very unglamorous jobs, one
(03:40):
of them being de-winterizing the cabins, which
was code for pulling dead mice out
of toilets. So,
you know, first I got, I got, you know, passed over by Mickey Mouse and
then now I'm pulling all these dead mice out and I'm like, what have I like
offended mice somehow in my past life? And
(04:02):
so when the opportunity came up to teach rock climbing at
that camp, I jumped on it. They said, do you want to do that? I said, yep. They said,
you scared of heights? I said, yep, sure am. But are you going to train me anything
but to, you know, pull dead mice out of toilets for the rest of the summer? So
I took that opportunity that presented itself,
even though it was way out of my comfort zone, teach rock climbing. They sent me away to
(04:24):
training and got all trained
up and ran a crew and safely, I think had like seven or 800 scouts
rappelling and climbing all summer. And so I put that
on my resume when I graduated college a few years later. And
I was interviewing for a project manager position at a
NASA subcontractor, knowing nothing about what project managers did.
(04:45):
I was coming right out of college. And fortunately,
someone saw the rock climbing on my resume. And
they said, hang on a second, we got someone we need you to talk to. And
this guy jumped on the phone, this is back in the 90s, so it was
a phone interview, no Zoom, and didn't introduce himself. He
just said, hey, what do you think about rock climbing on Mars? And
(05:09):
me very flippantly just said, I don't know, are you going to pay my
airfare? And I was like, I blew it.
And this this mystery voice on the other end of the phone goes, get him down here and
then disappeared. That's amazing. Turns
out. The guy that jumped on the phone was the director of test operations
for all of the Mars landing projects that the company worked on,
(05:32):
starting with the Pathfinder missions in 1990s. And this
is year 2000 at this point, so they're gearing up to land two
missions on Mars in 2003, Spirit and Opportunity. That
guy, his name was Skip Wilson. He was a former Vietnam era special
forces guy. Ended up in engineering after
his time in the military was up. And he and
(05:53):
his team were responsible for making sure things actually worked before you
put it on a rocket ship or put it on a pilot. So
they would travel around the world to all these different test facilities and
would make sure the things did what they were supposed to do, you
know, what they said they could do on paper. So Skip
saw someone that had a decent GPA, but also had practical experience
(06:17):
that he could send out into the field from Antarctica to England
and not get himself or his team injured or killed. So
that was me. Because I lost the internship
and then spent the summer pulling dead mice out of toilets and said, no, that's not
going to work for me. And then decided to learn how to be a rock climbing instructor. So
that's how I ended up working in the space program. Unbelievable. Yeah,
(06:40):
it wasn't like I had planned on that and had worked towards that at
all. It's just the opportunities presented themselves through
a series of failures, which, you know, is a recurring
That is such an incredible story. I love it. And I love how
you talk about, I know in the beginning you talked about like stepping into the
(07:02):
fear that was outside of your comfort zone, you know, realizing, yeah,
I am afraid of heights, but, you know, I'm going to work through
that. I'm going to push through it, right. And still step into that
next opportunity, which is obviously very
difficult for many of us. And then, you know, the fact
that you recognized, wow, this is an opportunity for me.
(07:22):
And again, pushing through the quote unquote
failures or the challenges and they led you to something so
Yeah, yeah. And again, it's whenever
I do one on one coaching with people or even like if I'm leading
a small group, one of the things that I have them do is create
their lifeline, you know, draw, draw a line across. And
(07:45):
this is an old Donald, Donald Miller thing, draw a line. And
that's a negative experience. Anything above the line is positive. Anything below is
a negative experience and have them do a timeline of their
life with positive and negative experiences. And,
you know, what usually happens is after a valley, a
group of negative experiences or significant negative experiences, that's
(08:09):
actually when a lot of times those very positive
and game changing experiences happen on the other side of that, the
Right. It's hard to see and it's hard to push
(08:29):
Yeah, it's so powerful. I love that exercise. So john,
we you and I have a lot of overlap in the work that
we do. I think we we probably work with different population,
right? You work primarily with men, I believe. And
I work primarily with women. Now, there's a lot of overlap in
the themes. And there's the reality is research
(08:53):
proves that there is a confidence gap when
it comes to gender. But I want to point out that does
not mean that men don't struggle with
things like self-confidence, right? And that self-doubt.
I know you have your own personal experiences and I
know of many others. Now,
(09:14):
I'm going to venture to guess that some of that research might be...
How should I say this?
not intentionally biased, but I suspect that the people answering those
survey questions, right, are bringing maybe their ego
to answer those survey questions versus their higher
self, right? Because the ego is there to serve and protect and
(09:37):
we want people to see us in a certain light. So I
suspect that that research isn't quite as accurate as
it could be, right? If people were truly honest about
that. Nonetheless, there is a real need,
right? There is a very real, valid struggle.
And I think even though we do similar work, it's through
(09:58):
a different lens, right? Similar to your camera, what you were talking about
with photography. you know, given the
way we were raised as boys and girls in
society, in, you know, our families of origin, um,
there are different experiences and, and there are some similarities for
sure, but it's through the lens
(10:20):
for me of high-performing women, right. And for you high-performing men.
So I want to just talk a little bit about that from your, from
your perspective, uh, talk to us more about the work that you
Yeah, so,
so much of like our culture is, you know,
(10:40):
from a young age, you know, especially like
I grew up in the 80s and 90s, I was born in the late 70s. So I was
still that generation, like, you know, boys don't cry, suck it up
buttercup. Yeah. And you
don't talk about your feelings. You don't, you don't, you
know, admit that you're struggling, like you're talking about that
data is likely skewed. I worked in test engineering. That's
(11:03):
what we did. We made sure these things were going to work. Our job
was to find that truth, and you're only as good as
the validity of your data. It wasn't going to do
the space program any good if I was checking
how strong something was if my scale was
(11:24):
totally way off base. If that data is not valid,
then that puts into
question everything else. So I think with a
lot of especially high performers, whether
it's female or male, and
it's starting to change, you're starting to see the tide turn now, but the
(11:46):
very established approach to being a
leader or being, quote, elite was
nothing fazed you, nothing bothered you, you had all the answers all
the time, And you always knew what to do. And if you didn't, you presented
that face anyway, and you just, you just charged ahead. What,
what they're seeing now is, you know, leaders
(12:10):
that actually have empathy for their team,
meaning that they can put themselves in the shoes, so
to speak, of the people that they're leading and adjust
communication styles or way messages are conveyed. Those
are actually what are very effective leaders. you
know, not like the drill instructor, you know, screaming
(12:32):
and yelling at someone. That's not to say that
military type of drill instructor, you communicate with
everyone the same way, doesn't serve a purpose for the
military. But that's a very different purpose than being
leaders of teams, especially in business. You know, the military's whole
thing is to condition people to take orders and do
(12:54):
what they're told, right? Whereas, especially in
business, we're trying to get the most out
of our team, you know, performance wise, I
mean, business is there to make money. So you need
to figure out ways to communicate with your team that are best suited to them. So
that's why a lot of my, my coaching when it starts off is
(13:15):
to have people understand how do they function
best being communicated to? Are they someone who functions
best with very direct communication? Because some people are
like that. Like, that's why I utilize the Enneagram in my coaching
at the beginning. You know, are they a type eight that you need to be like, Hey, you screwed that up.
Here's what you need to do better. And they're like, okay, got it. Or
(13:36):
are they someone's like, Hey, I saw you really tried hard on that. How
do you think that went? You know, figuring out
the communication stuff. So that's, you know, to me, what, what being a
leader, you know, regardless of gender is.
Yeah, I love I love what you're talking about
in terms of the leadership skills and definitely
(13:57):
can relate to a lot of those concepts that we were raised with.
You know, to your point, we were taught to be stoic. Right.
And now the key to being a good leader is being vulnerable. We
were taught to be non emotional. Right.
Don't show emotion. And now we know that being a good leader means
(14:18):
having empathy. Right. Right. And it's so it's
it's how do we hold space for both and learn to grow into
the other? You know, the other one that comes up for me is keep your head
down. Do your work. Keep your head down right now, especially
for women, as you have to advocate for yourself. Right. Which
is most of us were not taught to do that. Right. So it
(14:40):
is so interesting to step back and look at that transition
in the evolution of leadership. I'm curious, any
advice or thoughts for people who may be feeling that
tension or that struggle of how to lean into or
step into the vulnerability, the empathy, and
(15:01):
Yeah, I think, and this goes with a lot of things, especially in
the self-improvement space, is to
look at it as almost
like you would a fitness goal or something like that. You
don't go all in and start pumping iron
like Dwayne The Rock Johnson, right? That's
(15:22):
not going to happen if you're just starting. So as far as personal
development work and leaning into empathy or being vulnerable,
start slow and give yourself grace. That's one of the big things I talk about in
my keynotes and workshop is giving yourself grace and going again.
because so many people feel like they need to get
it right the first time. And if they don't, well, okay, guess, guess
(15:46):
I failed at that no sense in going forward was actually, which is actually a
form of perfectionism. Yeah, it's that same mentality of
Oh, well, I was supposed to work out four times this week, I missed Monday,
because my kids were sick. And then I had to travel the next day, I might
as well just skip the rest of the week. So giving
yourself grace and starting slow and coming up with a plan and
(16:07):
then giving yourself some flexibility in that while still holding yourself
Um, I've, I know,
I know this from my own life. The more uncomfortable
I would feel, and I think this is true for anyone, the more uncomfortable
(16:30):
someone feels, the easier it is to dive into the minutia. and
make sure every little thing is quote-unquote perfect, which,
spoiler alert, nothing's ever perfect. We just need to do the best
we can and go again. So
perfectionism, a lot of times for me, and I think for others really crops
(16:51):
up whenever they feel very unsure of themselves, because if you're already feeling
unsure of yourself, like you shouldn't be there. Like you mentioned
my work with imposter syndrome, that I have a
whole litany of stuff on that. If you're already feeling on shaky
ground and you shouldn't be there, the last thing you want to do is
give anyone ammunition. to say,
(17:13):
oh, G is really not supposed to be doing this. So a
way to seemingly combat that and people spin it as a
positive trait is to dig into perfectionism when really, as
the author John Acuff says, perfectionism is just fear
Yeah, it's a great point. And so let's talk about imposter
syndrome. So you had your own experience with
(17:37):
you had letters of commendation from the Department of
Defense. You had accolades and
awards, you know, that were being given to you and your team for the work
that you were doing. And yet, you still struggled
Yeah, well, number one, I didn't even know what imposter syndrome was probably till about
(17:59):
10 years ago. Because again, I
didn't have that vocabulary growing up. Like I didn't go to counseling. We didn't, you
know, my kids are in public school now and they have counseling classes, like
how to handle your feelings and how to talk to people. Like that
wasn't happening in the Catholic high school I went to in 1994. I can
tell you that much. So I didn't have
(18:22):
that vocabulary. of what imposter syndrome was,
which is that feeling of regardless of your accomplishments, degrees, whatever
you've done, you feel like you're a fake and you're just BSing everybody. And it's only
a matter of time until they find out you're not as awesome as everyone thinks you are. So
yeah, so I had a very
real experience with that. Like you said, when we got a letter of commendation for
(18:45):
a Department of Defense project we had completed. And
I just remember right before the president of
our company called my name and was going to give me these commendation
letters, I just all of a sudden had this upwelling fear. And
it was thoughts like, you're not good enough. You're
(19:05):
a fake. You're not smart enough to be here. People are actually laughing at you. They're
going to pull this paper from you. They're going to realize you don't deserve it. All these things
just started coming through my head like to the point where I was almost
in tears. And people probably thought like I was in tears because I was so proud of
it when really it was, you know, I was having a panic attack.
So that was a continual theme because
(19:28):
I never felt good enough. So if there
was a potentially hazardous operation or
project to work on, like I was the first one to raise my hand because I
think subconsciously before I got a handle on my self-confidence,
very much later in life, I was always thinking, okay, maybe
if I do this job, maybe I'll feel worthy.
(19:52):
If I complete this, then maybe I'll feel good about myself. Well,
that didn't happen. We'd complete the mission or the project,
and I'd already be on to the next thing. you know, like I'd skip the
pizza party or whatever we had or be like, this is stupid. Why are we even celebrating
this? I got work to do. Let's chop chop. Let's go people. And
(20:13):
that was just because I just had
such an innate sense of unworthiness
and a lack of confidence that no
matter what thing I completed or objective
I reached, it just wasn't good enough until I actually was
able to do, as Anthony Trucks calls it, the dark work
(20:34):
on myself to figure out that I am worthy of those things.
Mm hmm. Yeah. So powerful. Very relatable. I want
to just go back to the inner critic piece for a second. And
where do you think that came from? Right? That inner voice that tells you
you're not good enough, right? You're not worthy, people are going
(20:58):
Yeah, with all kinds of mental
conditions, it's obviously very complex. And
one of the things they talk about with imposter syndrome is, you
know, a lot of it can certainly have to do with upbringing. You know,
if you're if you're if you're balanced between being like, you know,
the best child in the world, and then you make one little mistake, and then all of a sudden, now you're
(21:18):
you're the worst kid in the world, that kind of ping ponging, it can also
show up later in life. with new
responsibilities. I mean, it's just natural to question
your abilities. Yeah. You know, people that don't like
they also need to be checked, you know, reel themselves back
in. But a lot of it has to
(21:40):
deal deal with having the skills to handle those
those big emotions when they come up and
being able to recognize them and then also you
know, adjust appropriately. And a big part of
it is sharing how you're feeling with people having trusted advisors
in your life. And if you don't have trusted advisors in your
(22:01):
life, if you're listening to this right now, you're saying, I don't have anyone that
I can trust, or I could talk to. The biggest advice
I can give is, then you need to step up and start
being that trusted advisor for other people. Yeah,
and then you will eventually find people that that can
(22:21):
I love that great advice. And I think, you know, to your point
around, there's part of it is our
upbringing, right? That's the voice in our head. Part of
it, I think, is also, you know, our brain is designed to keep us
safe. And it's the fear
that drives that inner critic of, you know, whether it's the fear of
(22:42):
failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of being
found out, we're all afraid of the same things at the end of the
day. And so, you know, it's it's our mind's way of trying
to keep us safe. But to your point, it's how do you talk back
to you, right, overcome the inner critic and
that self doubt, which is so powerful. The other thing I want to touch upon,
(23:02):
which is also very relatable is this feeling of having to
prove your worth. Right. And
that we we accomplish something thinking it's going to fulfill us.
And then we accomplish it. And we're on
to the next thing. We're off to the races. We don't have time to celebrate. We
don't have time to bask in the glory and to really sit
(23:25):
and acknowledge our accomplishments. What was
your experience like in overcoming that?
One of the things that really helps me,
and also that's why I have it as a free resource for
people if they go to my website, is I
(23:46):
call it the Archive of Awesome. And I always say to people, our
brains are very good at remembering the negative, right?
That's just how we're wired. Again, going back to what you're saying, those protection
things. If it hurts to touch, the
log on fire, don't do it again. So our
(24:06):
brains are already set up to remember that. So we
have to actively work to overcome that. So I, when I talk about
this archive of awesome is I always challenge people, take
10 minutes and write down accomplishments you're proud of from your entire
life. And people are like, who cares about what I did when I was a kid? I said, okay.
That's because fear doesn't fight fair. Fear is
(24:29):
going to bring something up that happened when we were, you know, we little people
as far back as we can remember, and it's going to trip us up decades
later. Like no one's going to argue that fact. It's like, okay, well,
fear is not going to fight fair, then neither are we. Like
write down those accomplishments from your professional career, from your family life,
from your adult life. But also, Take
(24:51):
credit for those things that you've done when you were younger. Like, that's
why I have all this stuff hanging behind me. Like those letters of commendation that
threw me into a panic attack, now they're hanging up on a wall. They lived in a desk for
like a decade, Gia. right beside something from
Homeland Security project I worked on. It's a medal, a
bronze medal I got when I was I think eight years old in a Cub Scout. My
(25:12):
dad and I built a race car and I got third place and
I found that in a box and it's hanging up beside stuff from my professional career
because that's all part of who I am. And the
reason why it's important to either write it down physically in a notebook or
in the fillable PDF that will get sent to you if you sign up for
my newsletter or just creating a note on your phone is
(25:33):
on those days when you wake up and like, I don't care what you've gone through. You're
going to wake up some days and you're going to be like, I don't think I can do whatever it
is in front of me. You can pause. And
look at this physical list of things that you have done and
be like, OK, I've done hard things before
and I'll be able to figure this out. Look at this irrefutable data
(25:56):
that I have of things that I've done throughout my life." That's
one of the biggest tips I can give to people to
Yeah, it's a great point. You
know, I think also recognizing that it's
amazing to see your awards and
(26:17):
accolades. I think it's important to recognize some people might
say, well, that's all external. How do we develop that internal sense of worth?
I think it's important to just draw the distinction between getting
validation from the external accolades and
awards versus really acknowledging
the value that you bring and really using it to understand,
(26:41):
you know, help develop your sense of self-worth, right? And,
and knowing sometimes I'll ask clients like, what, what's your value?
What do you bring to the table? And people have a really hard time with that question. Right.
But to your point, if you don't reflect back on what you've accomplished and what
you're actually capable of, it's hard to answer that
(27:02):
Right. Yeah. And so to me, it's
not that one of those letters of
commendation from NASA gives me worth and
makes me feel good about myself. What it is, it's a tangible reminder
that I can think on my feet I can consider
others. I can consider their safety. I can make big decisions on
(27:25):
the spot. That's what it represents to me. So it's not like looking and
be like, okay, John's awesome because I got an award. It's
like, no, John's awesome because he, he has these innate skills that
Absolutely. And those leadership skills that you were talking about earlier too. So
John, you talk about being an authentic human of action. Tell
(27:51):
Yeah, so so many people have so many big dreams and
goals, and they never take action on them.
So if nothing else, the common thread throughout my life is
I was always willing to just just give it a try. So
the in the authentic part, comes in
because for so much of my life, like I talked
(28:13):
about, I was going after these accolades and the next thing and the next thing
and the next thing and the next thing to get worth. It's because
I was operating out of alignment with who I truly am. Somewhere
along the way, I veered off the path of who I truly was.
And so it's important to understand what lights you up,
(28:35):
like truly lights you up as an individual. And that's
why the other part of the Enneagram test that I have for people, it's
like, okay, are you someone who looks to
be a helper all the time? Is that
how you get your self-worth? Are you someone who
always wants to stand out and be different? Is that
(28:56):
how you feel like you get your self-worth? And it's important to understand what
lights you up, but it's also important to understand that there's a
positive and a negative to all that. If
you're getting your worth from just continually doing
things to be different, but they don't make you happy, then
that's not operating out of a place of authenticity. And
(29:18):
the longer you operate out of a place of inauthenticity, that's
when your energy levels just get sapped and you
just really, it robs a lot of the joy. So
I always make sure when I'm working with someone to figure out what really
lights them up and how can we now take
action in the way your life is currently set up to bring you
(29:42):
That's a great point because we do, the more we
go through life, we get further and further away from that.
Right. And so it's how do we reconnect with who we truly are?
And to your point, align, right, make sure we're aligned with our values, our
actions are aligned with what matters to us. John,
we talk a lot about redefining success on this podcast, I
(30:03):
would love to know from your experience, and
your perspective, how do you define success for yourself? And how
I think when I was in a place where I was continually seeking
validation and with low self-esteem, my
(30:23):
success was, for lack of a term, feeling like
a badass, like doing things that no one else could do. And
I still do carry some of that with
me, but that's not where I define my value from. I think because
when I was when I was working to gain my value through
my just actions, I just had this veneer of perfection created
(30:46):
in the superhero persona. And I would defend that,
like tooth and nail, like I like if I felt
someone was questioning me, like I would, I would say very pointed phrases
to them, I would I would, you know, just cut the legs out from under them verbally, just
because I had built up this veneer of perfection. So back
then, my version of success was, You know, I'll do
(31:08):
things no one else will do. And that's that's how I get my my
value. Whereas now, you
know, I still do value that. And like I
like just this morning, like I was outside in the 20 degree weather with
my buddies exercising at 515 a.m. I
enjoy challenging myself and doing those elite type of
(31:28):
things that not a lot of people can do. But now
success is how am I showing
up for myself and for others. Like, am I showing up
in a way for myself where I feel good about it? That's in
alignment with me. And also, am I
showing up in a way that helps people propel themselves forward
(31:51):
and being a positive influence in their life? And
also, am I able to cut out the
negativity of individuals in my life that
Mm hmm. I love that. So powerful. So
last question before we wrap up, how million dollar question, how
(32:12):
do we practice increasing self confidence? What
I really want them to set a timer on their phone for 10 minutes, and
write or type up what they're
proud of that they've done throughout their life. And That's
a starting point. It's a list that's meant to be added to. I have
(32:35):
a Google note on my phone. I just add to it continually. So
that is the biggest thing that I can tell
people. And the reason why it's important to keep up and it's not a one and done kind of
exercise is you're continually doing things
that you're probably not taking credit for. Because that's
not a muscle that has likely been exercised in your life, mental
(32:57):
muscle. So the more you practice something, the more
repetition, you'll be able to be like, oh, I
should write that down. That's cool. I need to write that down. And then what
that does is that switches your focus from pausing.
And even if it's just a moment to type it up and celebrate it,
you're still celebrating it. And that will really change your mindset and
(33:20):
Yeah, and you can reflect back on it. I think that's a great exercise and
such great advice. You know, and I think you really have to dig deep when you do
those exercises, right? Because it's not always the things that are obvious and
that are top of mind. Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper because it's
not always the big things that everybody could see. Sometimes it's the
little things. And so, um, such great advice. John,
(33:45):
Oh, thank you. It's johnmollura.com slash free
stuff. And you can go there and sign up for my newsletter and
you'll get a PDF of the Archive of Awesome that you can fill out
or just tack it to your wall as a reminder. That's just J-O-H-N-M-O-L-L-U-R-A dot
Perfect. John, thank you for being here, for sharing your insights, your story,
(34:10):
And of course, you can visit my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. On the homepage of my website, you can download your complimentary copy
of From Chaos to Clarity, a 30-day journal for self-discovery and
healing. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy.
Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until next time,
your next chapter is waiting. Take care. That concludes another
(34:31):
empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now. Before we
wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
(34:52):
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
Gia Lacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua, empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you are exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now. I'm
your host, Gia Lacqua. Thanks for tuning in today. I am so
(00:43):
excited to introduce you to John Mollura John
is a personal performance coach and professional speaker who went from
being a literal rocket scientist to a multi-award-winning,
heart-centered portrait photographer. His unique career
path provided life experiences that most only dream of.
John spent decades leading various teams, some that
(01:05):
landed missions on Mars and others that protected the
pilots of the most advanced fighter jet in the world, the F-35. Today,
he provides world-class portraits and photographs that have been featured
by National Geographic, multiple Fortune 500 companies,
and some of the biggest names in music. However, John
also knows firsthand what it feels like when the walls of
(01:27):
achievement and elite-level accomplishments fail to
fill a void inside. As John rediscovered his
true self and his heart became more fulfilled, he longed for
others to have the same feelings of self-acceptance, and
empowerment. John, welcome to the show. Thanks for being here today.
Thanks. Yeah, glad we finally got to be here with all of our tech issues.
(01:54):
I'm going to ask the I guess I'll start with the elephant in the room. Tell
us a little bit about your backstory. You went from being a
rocket scientist working for NASA, and
you turn to photography and to
coaching. So tell us a little bit about your professional
Yeah, it it's it's certainly been a journey. And it was
(02:17):
as most of us are still a work in progress. I'd
always enjoyed photography. I think I got my first camera when I was seven. My
mom got it for me for my birthday and it just
was always a great creative outlet for me. I just always saw
the world differently and that's kind of
just how my photography started and fell
(02:38):
into the engineering
job in the space program, not because I was incredibly intelligent, actually
quite far from it. School was actually very difficult for me. But
I got the job in the space program because, as
with most things in life, when you look back on it, I
(02:58):
hit a big valley in college in that
I lost an internship that I was in competition for,
for Walt Disney World with someone. And when
I didn't get that, I didn't have a plan B for the summer. So what
I decided to do was work at a Boy Scout camp.
My fraternity brother said, Hey, you want to work out in the woods? And I was like, Yeah,
(03:20):
sure. That that sounds great. And when
I was doing that, I was supposed to be director of water sports. And
that fell through at the last minute again. But
I had been working with the maintenance crew, and being the unskilled labor,
I got all the very unglamorous jobs, one
(03:40):
of them being de-winterizing the cabins, which
was code for pulling dead mice out
of toilets. So,
you know, first I got, I got, you know, passed over by Mickey Mouse and
then now I'm pulling all these dead mice out and I'm like, what have I like
offended mice somehow in my past life? And
(04:02):
so when the opportunity came up to teach rock climbing at
that camp, I jumped on it. They said, do you want to do that? I said, yep. They said,
you scared of heights? I said, yep, sure am. But are you going to train me anything
but to, you know, pull dead mice out of toilets for the rest of the summer? So
I took that opportunity that presented itself,
even though it was way out of my comfort zone, teach rock climbing. They sent me away to
(04:24):
training and got all trained
up and ran a crew and safely, I think had like seven or 800 scouts
rappelling and climbing all summer. And so I put that
on my resume when I graduated college a few years later. And
I was interviewing for a project manager position at a
NASA subcontractor, knowing nothing about what project managers did.
(04:45):
I was coming right out of college. And fortunately,
someone saw the rock climbing on my resume. And
they said, hang on a second, we got someone we need you to talk to. And
this guy jumped on the phone, this is back in the 90s, so it was
a phone interview, no Zoom, and didn't introduce himself. He
just said, hey, what do you think about rock climbing on Mars? And
(05:09):
me very flippantly just said, I don't know, are you going to pay my
airfare? And I was like, I blew it.
And this this mystery voice on the other end of the phone goes, get him down here and
then disappeared. That's amazing. Turns
out. The guy that jumped on the phone was the director of test operations
for all of the Mars landing projects that the company worked on,
(05:32):
starting with the Pathfinder missions in 1990s. And this
is year 2000 at this point, so they're gearing up to land two
missions on Mars in 2003, Spirit and Opportunity. That
guy, his name was Skip Wilson. He was a former Vietnam era special
forces guy. Ended up in engineering after
his time in the military was up. And he and
(05:53):
his team were responsible for making sure things actually worked before you
put it on a rocket ship or put it on a pilot. So
they would travel around the world to all these different test facilities and
would make sure the things did what they were supposed to do, you
know, what they said they could do on paper. So Skip
saw someone that had a decent GPA, but also had practical experience
(06:17):
that he could send out into the field from Antarctica to England
and not get himself or his team injured or killed. So
that was me. Because I lost the internship
and then spent the summer pulling dead mice out of toilets and said, no, that's not
going to work for me. And then decided to learn how to be a rock climbing instructor. So
that's how I ended up working in the space program. Unbelievable. Yeah,
(06:40):
it wasn't like I had planned on that and had worked towards that at
all. It's just the opportunities presented themselves through
a series of failures, which, you know, is a recurring
That is such an incredible story. I love it. And I love how
you talk about, I know in the beginning you talked about like stepping into the
(07:02):
fear that was outside of your comfort zone, you know, realizing, yeah,
I am afraid of heights, but, you know, I'm going to work through
that. I'm going to push through it, right. And still step into that
next opportunity, which is obviously very
difficult for many of us. And then, you know, the fact
that you recognized, wow, this is an opportunity for me.
(07:22):
And again, pushing through the quote unquote
failures or the challenges and they led you to something so
Yeah, yeah. And again, it's whenever
I do one on one coaching with people or even like if I'm leading
a small group, one of the things that I have them do is create
their lifeline, you know, draw, draw a line across. And
(07:45):
this is an old Donald, Donald Miller thing, draw a line. And
that's a negative experience. Anything above the line is positive. Anything below is
a negative experience and have them do a timeline of their
life with positive and negative experiences. And,
you know, what usually happens is after a valley, a
group of negative experiences or significant negative experiences, that's
(08:09):
actually when a lot of times those very positive
and game changing experiences happen on the other side of that, the
Right. It's hard to see and it's hard to push
(08:29):
Yeah, it's so powerful. I love that exercise. So john,
we you and I have a lot of overlap in the work that
we do. I think we we probably work with different population,
right? You work primarily with men, I believe. And
I work primarily with women. Now, there's a lot of overlap in
the themes. And there's the reality is research
(08:53):
proves that there is a confidence gap when
it comes to gender. But I want to point out that does
not mean that men don't struggle with
things like self-confidence, right? And that self-doubt.
I know you have your own personal experiences and I
know of many others. Now,
(09:14):
I'm going to venture to guess that some of that research might be...
How should I say this?
not intentionally biased, but I suspect that the people answering those
survey questions, right, are bringing maybe their ego
to answer those survey questions versus their higher
self, right? Because the ego is there to serve and protect and
(09:37):
we want people to see us in a certain light. So I
suspect that that research isn't quite as accurate as
it could be, right? If people were truly honest about
that. Nonetheless, there is a real need,
right? There is a very real, valid struggle.
And I think even though we do similar work, it's through
(09:58):
a different lens, right? Similar to your camera, what you were talking about
with photography. you know, given the
way we were raised as boys and girls in
society, in, you know, our families of origin, um,
there are different experiences and, and there are some similarities for
sure, but it's through the lens
(10:20):
for me of high-performing women, right. And for you high-performing men.
So I want to just talk a little bit about that from your, from
your perspective, uh, talk to us more about the work that you
Yeah, so,
so much of like our culture is, you know,
(10:40):
from a young age, you know, especially like
I grew up in the 80s and 90s, I was born in the late 70s. So I was
still that generation, like, you know, boys don't cry, suck it up
buttercup. Yeah. And you
don't talk about your feelings. You don't, you don't, you
know, admit that you're struggling, like you're talking about that
data is likely skewed. I worked in test engineering. That's
(11:03):
what we did. We made sure these things were going to work. Our job
was to find that truth, and you're only as good as
the validity of your data. It wasn't going to do
the space program any good if I was checking
how strong something was if my scale was
(11:24):
totally way off base. If that data is not valid,
then that puts into
question everything else. So I think with a
lot of especially high performers, whether
it's female or male, and
it's starting to change, you're starting to see the tide turn now, but the
(11:46):
very established approach to being a
leader or being, quote, elite was
nothing fazed you, nothing bothered you, you had all the answers all
the time, And you always knew what to do. And if you didn't, you presented
that face anyway, and you just, you just charged ahead. What,
what they're seeing now is, you know, leaders
(12:10):
that actually have empathy for their team,
meaning that they can put themselves in the shoes, so
to speak, of the people that they're leading and adjust
communication styles or way messages are conveyed. Those
are actually what are very effective leaders. you
know, not like the drill instructor, you know, screaming
(12:32):
and yelling at someone. That's not to say that
military type of drill instructor, you communicate with
everyone the same way, doesn't serve a purpose for the
military. But that's a very different purpose than being
leaders of teams, especially in business. You know, the military's whole
thing is to condition people to take orders and do
(12:54):
what they're told, right? Whereas, especially in
business, we're trying to get the most out
of our team, you know, performance wise, I
mean, business is there to make money. So you need
to figure out ways to communicate with your team that are best suited to them. So
that's why a lot of my, my coaching when it starts off is
(13:15):
to have people understand how do they function
best being communicated to? Are they someone who functions
best with very direct communication? Because some people are
like that. Like, that's why I utilize the Enneagram in my coaching
at the beginning. You know, are they a type eight that you need to be like, Hey, you screwed that up.
Here's what you need to do better. And they're like, okay, got it. Or
(13:36):
are they someone's like, Hey, I saw you really tried hard on that. How
do you think that went? You know, figuring out
the communication stuff. So that's, you know, to me, what, what being a
leader, you know, regardless of gender is.
Yeah, I love I love what you're talking about
in terms of the leadership skills and definitely
(13:57):
can relate to a lot of those concepts that we were raised with.
You know, to your point, we were taught to be stoic. Right.
And now the key to being a good leader is being vulnerable. We
were taught to be non emotional. Right.
Don't show emotion. And now we know that being a good leader means
(14:18):
having empathy. Right. Right. And it's so it's
it's how do we hold space for both and learn to grow into
the other? You know, the other one that comes up for me is keep your head
down. Do your work. Keep your head down right now, especially
for women, as you have to advocate for yourself. Right. Which
is most of us were not taught to do that. Right. So it
(14:40):
is so interesting to step back and look at that transition
in the evolution of leadership. I'm curious, any
advice or thoughts for people who may be feeling that
tension or that struggle of how to lean into or
step into the vulnerability, the empathy, and
(15:01):
Yeah, I think, and this goes with a lot of things, especially in
the self-improvement space, is to
look at it as almost
like you would a fitness goal or something like that. You
don't go all in and start pumping iron
like Dwayne The Rock Johnson, right? That's
(15:22):
not going to happen if you're just starting. So as far as personal
development work and leaning into empathy or being vulnerable,
start slow and give yourself grace. That's one of the big things I talk about in
my keynotes and workshop is giving yourself grace and going again.
because so many people feel like they need to get
it right the first time. And if they don't, well, okay, guess, guess
(15:46):
I failed at that no sense in going forward was actually, which is actually a
form of perfectionism. Yeah, it's that same mentality of
Oh, well, I was supposed to work out four times this week, I missed Monday,
because my kids were sick. And then I had to travel the next day, I might
as well just skip the rest of the week. So giving
yourself grace and starting slow and coming up with a plan and
(16:07):
then giving yourself some flexibility in that while still holding yourself
Um, I've, I know,
I know this from my own life. The more uncomfortable
I would feel, and I think this is true for anyone, the more uncomfortable
(16:30):
someone feels, the easier it is to dive into the minutia. and
make sure every little thing is quote-unquote perfect, which,
spoiler alert, nothing's ever perfect. We just need to do the best
we can and go again. So
perfectionism, a lot of times for me, and I think for others really crops
(16:51):
up whenever they feel very unsure of themselves, because if you're already feeling
unsure of yourself, like you shouldn't be there. Like you mentioned
my work with imposter syndrome, that I have a
whole litany of stuff on that. If you're already feeling on shaky
ground and you shouldn't be there, the last thing you want to do is
give anyone ammunition. to say,
(17:13):
oh, G is really not supposed to be doing this. So a
way to seemingly combat that and people spin it as a
positive trait is to dig into perfectionism when really, as
the author John Acuff says, perfectionism is just fear
Yeah, it's a great point. And so let's talk about imposter
syndrome. So you had your own experience with
(17:37):
you had letters of commendation from the Department of
Defense. You had accolades and
awards, you know, that were being given to you and your team for the work
that you were doing. And yet, you still struggled
Yeah, well, number one, I didn't even know what imposter syndrome was probably till about
(17:59):
10 years ago. Because again, I
didn't have that vocabulary growing up. Like I didn't go to counseling. We didn't, you
know, my kids are in public school now and they have counseling classes, like
how to handle your feelings and how to talk to people. Like that
wasn't happening in the Catholic high school I went to in 1994. I can
tell you that much. So I didn't have
(18:22):
that vocabulary. of what imposter syndrome was,
which is that feeling of regardless of your accomplishments, degrees, whatever
you've done, you feel like you're a fake and you're just BSing everybody. And it's only
a matter of time until they find out you're not as awesome as everyone thinks you are. So
yeah, so I had a very
real experience with that. Like you said, when we got a letter of commendation for
(18:45):
a Department of Defense project we had completed. And
I just remember right before the president of
our company called my name and was going to give me these commendation
letters, I just all of a sudden had this upwelling fear. And
it was thoughts like, you're not good enough. You're
(19:05):
a fake. You're not smart enough to be here. People are actually laughing at you. They're
going to pull this paper from you. They're going to realize you don't deserve it. All these things
just started coming through my head like to the point where I was almost
in tears. And people probably thought like I was in tears because I was so proud of
it when really it was, you know, I was having a panic attack.
So that was a continual theme because
(19:28):
I never felt good enough. So if there
was a potentially hazardous operation or
project to work on, like I was the first one to raise my hand because I
think subconsciously before I got a handle on my self-confidence,
very much later in life, I was always thinking, okay, maybe
if I do this job, maybe I'll feel worthy.
(19:52):
If I complete this, then maybe I'll feel good about myself. Well,
that didn't happen. We'd complete the mission or the project,
and I'd already be on to the next thing. you know, like I'd skip the
pizza party or whatever we had or be like, this is stupid. Why are we even celebrating
this? I got work to do. Let's chop chop. Let's go people. And
(20:13):
that was just because I just had
such an innate sense of unworthiness
and a lack of confidence that no
matter what thing I completed or objective
I reached, it just wasn't good enough until I actually was
able to do, as Anthony Trucks calls it, the dark work
(20:34):
on myself to figure out that I am worthy of those things.
Mm hmm. Yeah. So powerful. Very relatable. I want
to just go back to the inner critic piece for a second. And
where do you think that came from? Right? That inner voice that tells you
you're not good enough, right? You're not worthy, people are going
(20:58):
Yeah, with all kinds of mental
conditions, it's obviously very complex. And
one of the things they talk about with imposter syndrome is, you
know, a lot of it can certainly have to do with upbringing. You know,
if you're if you're if you're balanced between being like, you know,
the best child in the world, and then you make one little mistake, and then all of a sudden, now you're
(21:18):
you're the worst kid in the world, that kind of ping ponging, it can also
show up later in life. with new
responsibilities. I mean, it's just natural to question
your abilities. Yeah. You know, people that don't like
they also need to be checked, you know, reel themselves back
in. But a lot of it has to
(21:40):
deal deal with having the skills to handle those
those big emotions when they come up and
being able to recognize them and then also you
know, adjust appropriately. And a big part of
it is sharing how you're feeling with people having trusted advisors
in your life. And if you don't have trusted advisors in your
(22:01):
life, if you're listening to this right now, you're saying, I don't have anyone that
I can trust, or I could talk to. The biggest advice
I can give is, then you need to step up and start
being that trusted advisor for other people. Yeah,
and then you will eventually find people that that can
(22:21):
I love that great advice. And I think, you know, to your point
around, there's part of it is our
upbringing, right? That's the voice in our head. Part of
it, I think, is also, you know, our brain is designed to keep us
safe. And it's the fear
that drives that inner critic of, you know, whether it's the fear of
(22:42):
failure, the fear of rejection, the fear of being
found out, we're all afraid of the same things at the end of the
day. And so, you know, it's it's our mind's way of trying
to keep us safe. But to your point, it's how do you talk back
to you, right, overcome the inner critic and
that self doubt, which is so powerful. The other thing I want to touch upon,
(23:02):
which is also very relatable is this feeling of having to
prove your worth. Right. And
that we we accomplish something thinking it's going to fulfill us.
And then we accomplish it. And we're on
to the next thing. We're off to the races. We don't have time to celebrate. We
don't have time to bask in the glory and to really sit
(23:25):
and acknowledge our accomplishments. What was
your experience like in overcoming that?
One of the things that really helps me,
and also that's why I have it as a free resource for
people if they go to my website, is I
(23:46):
call it the Archive of Awesome. And I always say to people, our
brains are very good at remembering the negative, right?
That's just how we're wired. Again, going back to what you're saying, those protection
things. If it hurts to touch, the
log on fire, don't do it again. So our
(24:06):
brains are already set up to remember that. So we
have to actively work to overcome that. So I, when I talk about
this archive of awesome is I always challenge people, take
10 minutes and write down accomplishments you're proud of from your entire
life. And people are like, who cares about what I did when I was a kid? I said, okay.
That's because fear doesn't fight fair. Fear is
(24:29):
going to bring something up that happened when we were, you know, we little people
as far back as we can remember, and it's going to trip us up decades
later. Like no one's going to argue that fact. It's like, okay, well,
fear is not going to fight fair, then neither are we. Like
write down those accomplishments from your professional career, from your family life,
from your adult life. But also, Take
(24:51):
credit for those things that you've done when you were younger. Like, that's
why I have all this stuff hanging behind me. Like those letters of commendation that
threw me into a panic attack, now they're hanging up on a wall. They lived in a desk for
like a decade, Gia. right beside something from
Homeland Security project I worked on. It's a medal, a
bronze medal I got when I was I think eight years old in a Cub Scout. My
(25:12):
dad and I built a race car and I got third place and
I found that in a box and it's hanging up beside stuff from my professional career
because that's all part of who I am. And the
reason why it's important to either write it down physically in a notebook or
in the fillable PDF that will get sent to you if you sign up for
my newsletter or just creating a note on your phone is
(25:33):
on those days when you wake up and like, I don't care what you've gone through. You're
going to wake up some days and you're going to be like, I don't think I can do whatever it
is in front of me. You can pause. And
look at this physical list of things that you have done and
be like, OK, I've done hard things before
and I'll be able to figure this out. Look at this irrefutable data
(25:56):
that I have of things that I've done throughout my life." That's
one of the biggest tips I can give to people to
Yeah, it's a great point. You
know, I think also recognizing that it's
amazing to see your awards and
(26:17):
accolades. I think it's important to recognize some people might
say, well, that's all external. How do we develop that internal sense of worth?
I think it's important to just draw the distinction between getting
validation from the external accolades and
awards versus really acknowledging
the value that you bring and really using it to understand,
(26:41):
you know, help develop your sense of self-worth, right? And,
and knowing sometimes I'll ask clients like, what, what's your value?
What do you bring to the table? And people have a really hard time with that question. Right.
But to your point, if you don't reflect back on what you've accomplished and what
you're actually capable of, it's hard to answer that
(27:02):
Right. Yeah. And so to me, it's
not that one of those letters of
commendation from NASA gives me worth and
makes me feel good about myself. What it is, it's a tangible reminder
that I can think on my feet I can consider
others. I can consider their safety. I can make big decisions on
(27:25):
the spot. That's what it represents to me. So it's not like looking and
be like, okay, John's awesome because I got an award. It's
like, no, John's awesome because he, he has these innate skills that
Absolutely. And those leadership skills that you were talking about earlier too. So
John, you talk about being an authentic human of action. Tell
(27:51):
Yeah, so so many people have so many big dreams and
goals, and they never take action on them.
So if nothing else, the common thread throughout my life is
I was always willing to just just give it a try. So
the in the authentic part, comes in
because for so much of my life, like I talked
(28:13):
about, I was going after these accolades and the next thing and the next thing
and the next thing and the next thing to get worth. It's because
I was operating out of alignment with who I truly am. Somewhere
along the way, I veered off the path of who I truly was.
And so it's important to understand what lights you up,
(28:35):
like truly lights you up as an individual. And that's
why the other part of the Enneagram test that I have for people, it's
like, okay, are you someone who looks to
be a helper all the time? Is that
how you get your self-worth? Are you someone who
always wants to stand out and be different? Is that
(28:56):
how you feel like you get your self-worth? And it's important to understand what
lights you up, but it's also important to understand that there's a
positive and a negative to all that. If
you're getting your worth from just continually doing
things to be different, but they don't make you happy, then
that's not operating out of a place of authenticity. And
(29:18):
the longer you operate out of a place of inauthenticity, that's
when your energy levels just get sapped and you
just really, it robs a lot of the joy. So
I always make sure when I'm working with someone to figure out what really
lights them up and how can we now take
action in the way your life is currently set up to bring you
(29:42):
That's a great point because we do, the more we
go through life, we get further and further away from that.
Right. And so it's how do we reconnect with who we truly are?
And to your point, align, right, make sure we're aligned with our values, our
actions are aligned with what matters to us. John,
we talk a lot about redefining success on this podcast, I
(30:03):
would love to know from your experience, and
your perspective, how do you define success for yourself? And how
I think when I was in a place where I was continually seeking
validation and with low self-esteem, my
(30:23):
success was, for lack of a term, feeling like
a badass, like doing things that no one else could do. And
I still do carry some of that with
me, but that's not where I define my value from. I think because
when I was when I was working to gain my value through
my just actions, I just had this veneer of perfection created
(30:46):
in the superhero persona. And I would defend that,
like tooth and nail, like I like if I felt
someone was questioning me, like I would, I would say very pointed phrases
to them, I would I would, you know, just cut the legs out from under them verbally, just
because I had built up this veneer of perfection. So back
then, my version of success was, You know, I'll do
(31:08):
things no one else will do. And that's that's how I get my my
value. Whereas now, you
know, I still do value that. And like I
like just this morning, like I was outside in the 20 degree weather with
my buddies exercising at 515 a.m. I
enjoy challenging myself and doing those elite type of
(31:28):
things that not a lot of people can do. But now
success is how am I showing
up for myself and for others. Like, am I showing up
in a way for myself where I feel good about it? That's in
alignment with me. And also, am I
showing up in a way that helps people propel themselves forward
(31:51):
and being a positive influence in their life? And
also, am I able to cut out the
negativity of individuals in my life that
Mm hmm. I love that. So powerful. So
last question before we wrap up, how million dollar question, how
(32:12):
do we practice increasing self confidence? What
I really want them to set a timer on their phone for 10 minutes, and
write or type up what they're
proud of that they've done throughout their life. And That's
a starting point. It's a list that's meant to be added to. I have
(32:35):
a Google note on my phone. I just add to it continually. So
that is the biggest thing that I can tell
people. And the reason why it's important to keep up and it's not a one and done kind of
exercise is you're continually doing things
that you're probably not taking credit for. Because that's
not a muscle that has likely been exercised in your life, mental
(32:57):
muscle. So the more you practice something, the more
repetition, you'll be able to be like, oh, I
should write that down. That's cool. I need to write that down. And then what
that does is that switches your focus from pausing.
And even if it's just a moment to type it up and celebrate it,
you're still celebrating it. And that will really change your mindset and
(33:20):
Yeah, and you can reflect back on it. I think that's a great exercise and
such great advice. You know, and I think you really have to dig deep when you do
those exercises, right? Because it's not always the things that are obvious and
that are top of mind. Sometimes you have to dig a little deeper because it's
not always the big things that everybody could see. Sometimes it's the
little things. And so, um, such great advice. John,
(33:45):
Oh, thank you. It's johnmollura.com slash free
stuff. And you can go there and sign up for my newsletter and
you'll get a PDF of the Archive of Awesome that you can fill out
or just tack it to your wall as a reminder. That's just J-O-H-N-M-O-L-L-U-R-A dot
Perfect. John, thank you for being here, for sharing your insights, your story,
(34:10):
And of course, you can visit my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. On the homepage of my website, you can download your complimentary copy
of From Chaos to Clarity, a 30-day journal for self-discovery and
healing. This is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy.
Our mic drops, but the movement continues. Until next time,
your next chapter is waiting. Take care. That concludes another
(34:31):
empowering episode of Your Future Starts Now. Before we
wrap up, I want to thank this incredible community of high-achieving women.
Your energy, resilience, and commitment to growth are the driving force
behind what we do. If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate
it, leave a review, and don't forget to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your
feedback fuels our mission to empower high-achieving women just like
(34:52):
you. And of course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women
in your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
Gia Lacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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