March 14, 2025 • 31 mins
In this empowering episode, Gia welcomes Dr. Cree Scott, founder and CEO of Serenity Psy Consulting, to discuss the vital role of connection in leadership. With over 20 years of experience in psychology and leadership development, Dr. Scott shares her insights on the challenges leaders face in today's rapidly changing environment, particularly for high-achieving women.
Join us as we explore the impact of anxiety, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, and the importance of vulnerability in the workplace. Dr. Scott emphasizes the need for leaders to cultivate empathy and psychological safety, creating a culture where individuals feel seen, heard, and valued. Discover how to redefine success by focusing on internal fulfillment while still achieving external impact.
This episode is a call to action for women to embrace their authentic selves, prioritize self-care, and engage in meaningful connections. Dr. Scott also shares a sneak peek into her upcoming book, which delves into the psychology of connection and its significance in both personal and professional realms.
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Episode Transcript
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(00:00):
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now.
I'm your host, Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for tuning in today. I'm
(00:43):
excited to introduce you to Dr. Cree Scott. Dr. Scott
is the founder and CEO of Serenity Psy Consulting. With
over 20 years in psychology and 14 years in leadership development,
she is an ICF certified coach and a member of the Forbes Coaches
Council and the HBR Advisory Council. Dr.
Scott is passionate about helping leaders unlock their full potential.
(01:06):
Through Serenity Psy Consulting, Dr. Scott delivers transformative human-centered
leadership development workshops, team-building sessions, and
consulting services within the area of DEI and employee
well-being. Her work utilizes evidence-based techniques
to translate complex concepts into practical strategies.
With a strengths-based coaching approach rooted in cognitive,
(01:29):
behavioral, and positive psychology, she empowers leaders
to overcome self-limiting beliefs and achieve meaningful personal
and professional growth. Dr. Scott, so excited to
This is going to be a great episode. So today we are talking about leadership,
as you may have guessed, and specifically connection in
(01:53):
leadership, which is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.
Before we jump into the good stuff, maybe you can tell us a little bit about your
Oh, wow. That's a that's a big question about what led me to the work, but I'll
start with my background. So I am by trade a
clinical psychologist and I was practicing as a psychologist
(02:13):
for several years until I was approached to do consulting. And
I started in the consulting field in around 2010. I
did not know what I was doing because I came from a clinical background, but I
learned I feel like I learned pretty quickly. I'm not sure what they
might say. And so I started doing client service for
the Department of Defense and really loved it. I
(02:36):
ended up working at two different consulting firms, my last one being Deloitte. And
while I was at Deloitte, I actually ended up going into leadership
development again, just by happenstance. It was something
that I didn't know a lot about when I got into it,
but then when I finally discovered that it was there,
I absolutely loved it. So it was something that became
(02:58):
a passion of mine in terms of helping leaders through psychological concepts
and through my theorized way of kind of approaching most
of the people that I work with, which is cognitive behavioral psychology and
positive psychology mixed. And yeah, it's been really a
great journey so far. I ended up leaving Deloitte at
the end of 2021. And then I ended up going and
(03:21):
starting my own business again by happenstance. It wasn't
something that I had planned on doing. It was just I wanted to kind of figure out
what was next for me. And since I have been in my own business,
I've been in a lot of different places when it comes to the
type of work that I do. I think always I will
be the consummate consultant, if you will. So
(03:42):
I do a lot of thought partnerships and a
lot of perspective building and things of that sort, strategy sessions
sometimes. But the work that I love doing the most is facilitation and
I really love the work that you're doing, and it is so needed.
And, you know, just appreciate, you know, the energy
and the passion that you bring to it, because it is so needed in
(04:08):
Especially now. And so I'm excited
to jump into it. So in the work that you do, tell
us just a little bit about what are some of the most common challenges you're
seeing for leaders in today's environment and
then maybe specifically what you're seeing because our audience is high achieving
women. If there's any distinction that you're seeing with
(04:31):
Yeah, I mean, I would say just across the board that the
workplace is very different than what it was even
when I was in the workforce, right? Like,
I consider myself a business owner still in the workforce, but not in
the traditional sense. And so one of the biggest things that I'm
seeing is that people are losing that
(04:52):
level of engagement that they used to have. I think everyone is
kind of afraid of what's going to happen next. And the
level of uncertainty is growing at a much more
rapid pace than it was even during COVID. Because now we
have AI and it's going faster
than we can keep up. And we're concerned about losing our jobs. And
(05:12):
what does that mean? And how do I learn to use AI so that I
can stay relevant and all of those things? So I
would say that's probably like the number one thing of how do I stay
engaged through the anxiety and fear that I have? And
that's really hard because when you have anxiety and fear, your
irrational brain starts to kick in. And so engagement is
(05:32):
a little challenging to be fully present because your
cognitive brain is just not on all the way. So I think that,
or the more rational side of yourself, I should say. So I think that that's
probably the number one thing. A second thing is that it's
hard to stay connected because we're so divided. I think
that if you would have even asked me this question like last year, I
(05:53):
would have kind of paused before I would have said this. I will tell
you that the whole landscape of, you know, the political
landscape has divided a lot of people in terms of where
things are going and how people are deciding to
do things. And when I say people, I really mean organizations and the leaders
within those organizations. So I have just seen a
(06:14):
lot of people worried about like, I thought that I had
this, you know, I was going to be doing this. And now what I'm hearing is that
we're pivoting. We're not going to do that anymore, or we need to call
it something different. So there's just, you know, with AI
and the political landscape, there's a lot of difficulty in terms of
people really feeling engaged and connected to one another
(06:36):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think, you know, we know change
is a constant. We know that it's not going anywhere and it just feels like
we're in another one of those transitional periods where companies are
Absolutely. And for good reason, right? Like they need to
make sure that they are not only staying relevant in their
industry, but they also need to make sure they're taking care of their employees. And sometimes it
(06:58):
may feel like those two things are at odds, even though my
hope is that they will see that, you know, humans first, right? Like
Yeah, I think, I think the employment or the wellbeing, the
engagement, you know, are still front and center top
priorities or should be at least, but then it's also about what are the corporate
values that you are going to lead with.
(07:20):
And I think if people are not clear on that, then everything gets
a little bit clouded. So I think it is important for people to really know what,
So in the women I work with often, I'll tell you, and I'm sure you
see it as well, I see a lot of women, regardless of title, salary
level, still struggle with, unfortunately, the imposter
syndrome, the self-doubt. I'm curious as to what you see
(07:44):
is some of the most common limiting beliefs that you see
in leaders and how maybe we can start to overcome some
Yeah, I think the biggest thing about imposter syndrome is that people do
not truly believe that they earned their
way to, you know, their right to be where they are. So when
you have that mindset or that narrative in the back of your head about,
(08:05):
oh, I got here because of this thing and
not because of the the hard work that I have done, it becomes very
hard to stay calm and focus
on what's in front of you because your mind is really being
taken elsewhere. So I would say that the biggest thing
that I'm seeing amongst specifically women is that there's
(08:27):
a lot of anxiety that comes with the
landscape of staying where they are and even excelling
to that next level. So there becomes this, if
you will, if I don't keep moving at this pace,
I'm going to get behind or I'm going to get left behind. And
there is this, you know, sense of frenetic energy, if
(08:48):
you will, of spinning the wheels. And sometimes it
is unproductive. Sometimes it is. We know that we need
stress, right? Stress motivates. And we know that if we had
zero stress, then we wouldn't be here. Right. Like, so we
know that there is a need for stress, but the levels in
which I'm seeing it in my coaching clients in particular is
(09:09):
off the charts. And there's also because I
think generally speaking, and this is a huge stereotype. So please, if
someone doesn't fit into this category, please forgive me. But I think
that women in general are just more nurturers, and
we are the people who hold community, right? We
are the glue of communities most of the time. And so when
(09:31):
you have that work life, and then you have family,
community, and all the other things that kind of hold it together, you
become overworked and underappreciated
sometimes. And I think that sometimes we don't know
how to ask for help because we have convinced ourselves that
asking for help is being helpless. And those two things are
(09:54):
very different. And we need to, you know,
we need to figure out how to reframe our narrative
so that we can get the help that we need by also making
sure that we are reaching our goals and achieving all
I love the way you just described the
feelings that pretty much every working woman in
(10:17):
America is feeling. I think it was just so eloquently and
beautifully stated. Biologically, I think you're right. There's some
wiring there of us being the nurturer and the caretaker for
most of us, many of us, a lot of us. And
Right. And that's a lot of pressure. And then so we can't we
(10:42):
Right. And there's a lot of conditioning in there as well. I
can tell you from my own experience, I went through really bad bout of burnout in
my corporate world. 2018, I was having heart palpitations and
I was just, you know, a complete mess. All the physical you know, manifestations of
unrelenting, you know, chronic stress and burnout. But
what I will say is one of the things that I
(11:03):
think we need to normalize is that asking for help and recognizing
that we were never meant to carry it all. But somehow that's where we find
ourselves is in this position where we feel like we have to do
it all be it all be everything to everyone around us,
Right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And the burnout, I
(11:23):
think we don't talk about it enough. And when we do talk about
burnout, I think people just think that, oh, if I go away to a
spa, or if I just take this weekend, I'll
be better. And burnout is way past going to
the spa, right? Like there are some really But there
are some bigger things that you need to be doing to really
(11:44):
get, I guess, healed from burnout. And
Yeah, and I think that's true. And I think there's a lot of hype
around burnout. It's a buzzword, right? People talk a lot about it. And
you're right, there's a lot of quick fixes, but that doesn't necessarily heal
(12:04):
the underlying issue, which is what we really need to get to. So
if you go to a spot for a weekend, you feel better, you come back refreshed, chances are
you're going to fall back into that same cycle and that pattern
of behavior. So I think that's a really good really
good call out. So one thing I also wanted to talk about is
this concept of vulnerability. I know you talk a lot about psychological safety
(12:25):
at work and empathy in leadership and vulnerability. And
similarly, so I think as women, we've been conditioned, you know, don't ask
for help, it shows a sign of weakness. Similarly, I
think a lot of us, and I'm sure this is true for men too, I
think it just applies differently, have been sort of praised for
not being emotional, for not showing emotion in
(12:46):
the workplace. I can remember many, many, many years ago starting
out where it was just something that I, whether it was conscious or
subconsciously did was, you know, void
of all emotion, right? To be more like a
man. And then so for me to overcome that and realize that no,
actually empathy and vulnerability are superpowers and help
(13:07):
with connection and leading teams and people. It was
a struggle, I'm not going to lie. And so that conditioning and those beliefs
that we carry with us for sometimes a lifetime, right? Like
years. I know a lot of Latin struggle with that concept of
Absolutely. So I think it goes back to exactly what you just
said. Like traditionally, women were able to get
(13:30):
promoted into the C-suite or into
those leadership roles because they were mirroring men,
the behaviors of a man. And
the people who were hiring and promoting were men. And
so the psychology behind that is
that there are biases that we all have. And
(13:51):
it's not just men that have biases. It's not one group of people.
Every human has biases. And because the
people who were in the power and still do have
the same power today, even though, you know, whoever you listen to might
say otherwise, they still hold the power. There
is this whole thing around, I
(14:12):
want people, I have this way of thinking about what
success looks like. And if this is
exactly what I believe success looks like, this is what I
did to get here, this is what my predecessor did to get here,
then there's a blueprint. So women began to
follow that blueprint because it's a tried and true way
(14:34):
of getting that promotion. It's a tried and true way of getting
to be invited to this club,
if you will, this leadership club. that if we show something
different, unless there is a person who has
power and privilege that says, yes, that that is OK, then
we tend to get left out. Right. And so I think it's really
(14:57):
a matter of who has the ability to say, you
know, it's OK if we show the human sides of
ourselves. And it's okay if we are able
to talk about the emotions that we experience because we're humans. And
it's okay if we make a mistake and have
an issue with regulating those emotions as long as we can come
(15:17):
back and say, you know what, I didn't really show up as the best
version of myself and I want to apologize for that. that we
are humans and the more that we can show our
humanity, the more engaged our employees will be.
Like that is just psychology. That's just the way that it
is. Like people have to see that they can be themselves and that you're
(15:38):
yourself and that you're a human so that they know
that they can make mistakes and that it's not going to lead to disaster
or to a horrible negative punishment for them
Yeah, I think those are incredibly important points. And I love what you said about
the blueprint, because I think it is that well-carved path that
we feel like we have to follow if we want to be quote unquote successful. So
(16:00):
I guess the million dollar question is how do we start to create a
new blueprint for women in
leadership? And that's not to say we can't draw upon things
that have worked, but maybe there's some things in there, as
Yeah, I think it comes with experimentation. I think
it's also like doing more leadership development around
(16:23):
this topic of empathy, connection, vulnerability, all the things so
that people recognize that this is
a leadership, a leadership edge, if you will, like those people who
are more emotionally and socially intelligent. which
vulnerability is actually a part of that, tend to do better
in their corporate lives or just in life in general because
(16:46):
relationships are pretty much the beginning of
all success. And if you don't have the ability to
really engage with people in a way that makes them
feel valued, that makes them feel seen, heard, understood, all
of the things that as humans we want, then you
will find that you can only go so far in your leadership journey
(17:07):
anyway. And so I think that it's about just really helping
everyone, not just women, but also the people who hold
these leadership positions and are responsible for promoting and things
of that sort, to help them understand that being vulnerable and
showing connection and really showing empathy are
all behaviors that you want to see in a leader. And those
(17:30):
are the things that you should be looking for to really bolster
the performance of the leaders that you have. in your space.
So that's what I would say is just through training and understanding. but
also having conversations like this. I think most of the time,
you know, we're, we're finding that people are not necessarily able
to get into that space of, Oh, I can take this training or
(17:53):
I can go and do this thing. Like it should really be like these
smaller conversations that we're having when we're no longer
at the water cooler. And maybe we will at some point in time, get back
to that space. But when we're just in these conversations and
we're out to dinner or we're in the workplace and we're, we're having team
meetings and things of that sort. This should be a part of those team
(18:21):
Yeah. I think that's great. A great point. And
so before we started recording, you and I were talking a little bit about
high-functioning anxiety and definitely
pros and cons to that. But at many high achievers are focused
on the external success. And I can relate to this because this
was once where I was. But you know, but we tend to neglect our
(18:47):
So I would love to know from your perspective, how can
leaders in particular female leaders ensure that They're
growing in a way that's both externally impactful because we
don't want to lose that, right? We're still ambitious. We want to have impact, but
Yeah. I think that that is the thing that
makes people really stop in their tracks when
(19:11):
you start to ask them, like, what brings you fulfillment and joy? I've
coached a lot of people, a lot of executives and a lot of high powered
women executives in particular. And what
I would say is that most people are able to answer my questions pretty
quickly. But when I ask that question, people usually
stop and then they look at me as if I
(19:34):
just asked the weirdest question ever. And then they can't really answer
it because they're just like, oh, well, I don't. I haven't really thought about
that, right? And why are you thinking about
it? Or that luxury doesn't come to me, right? Because they see
it more as a luxury than something that actually
should be a norm. So what I would always
(19:56):
say is, number one, I think that no matter
what you do in life, it should be fulfilling. I
think that there's a way to find fulfillment once you identify
what is meaningful to you. So there's the meaning and
then there's purpose. And I think that that's where fulfillment comes
from. It is engaging in those things that are meaningful and purposeful to
(20:18):
you and that you are always reaching towards your North
Star and that you're on that path. So for me, I
think that even when I was in corporate America, I had also forgotten
that. I knew something wasn't right, but
I didn't know what that something was. I knew that I felt like
I had hit a ceiling figuratively in terms of where
(20:38):
I could go and what I could do or what I was interested in doing where
I was at that point. And it took me
taking time for myself. So there is a space that
I always talk about, that silent space that we really
need to give ourselves time with. that will allow you to
actually get to that understanding of what is fulfilling for
(20:59):
me, and am I going toward that North Star?
Am I still working toward things that are purposeful and
meaningful to me? And if I am not, where am
I on that path? Am I on all the way over here when
I should be going this way? Or am I just a little bit off
the beaten path and I just need to find my way back? And those
(21:19):
are the things that we don't really sit down and think
about. Like for people who might journal and are more introspective, I
think they might get it a little bit better. But for people who
are constantly in that high achievement mode, constantly like,
I did this thing and I'm gonna do this another thing, and then I'm gonna do
this other thing. Well, the thing that they don't add to
(21:40):
their list is I'm going to look inward and see how I'm doing. That's
the part that's always missing when it comes to the high achiever.
It's always external to your point of what do I need to do
next? And it's a lovely check the box. Like if you look at their little
sheet, all the boxes are checked. They're happy in that in
terms of their external gratification. But what I always say is
(22:01):
that if you ever have that nagging feeling that you've reached this
goal and it feels empty, then you know that you're neglecting yourself
and that you need to start turning inward and look and see where
Such incredible advice. And there's so much power in what you just
said. I think a couple of things I want to just add to that. I think the
(22:21):
pause, or emphasize rather, the pause is really important.
We're so busy doing, going, achieving. taking that
step back to pause and reflect and ask yourself
those questions. So important. That's also where coaching
can be extremely helpful, right? As we know, and I
would say that it's hard and sometimes it can
(22:42):
be scary because we've been so singularly focused.
It could be scary to even take that step back because if the answer
to the question of, you know, is this fulfilling me? Is
this bringing joy? Am I living my purpose? If there's even an
ounce of doubt there, it could be terrifying to
admit to myself, not even out loud to anyone else, that
(23:04):
the answer might be no. And so I think that's incredibly hard.
And again, I'll reiterate, I think that's where, whether it's a friend, a
therapist, a coach, having someone to work through that with you can
be incredibly powerful. So I absolutely love what
you just said. Dr. Scott, I know you have a
book launching this year. What can you share with us?
(23:25):
Yes. So the book is about connection, which is, I
think is a very important topic that we
really need to get back to, especially in this time. And
I know that sounds cliche to say like, oh, in this time it's really, really
disconnected, but we are really disconnected. I don't
know how, what other words to use and not sound too
(23:46):
cliche, but I feel like that there's a psychology of connection that
might be missing and that people may not really understand. So The
book is really around peace and fulfillment, exactly
the things that we're talking about, but it's also around for those people who
are really looking to perform at their best. And that may
be performance at work, that could be performance just in their
(24:07):
personal lives. But when we're thinking about like, what does success
look like? It is all about the psychology of connection. So
I think about it in terms of connection to self. connection
to others, and connection to that higher self. Or some
people might call it, you know, higher consciousness, things of that sort.
But what I really do believe is that we really need to
(24:29):
get to a place where we truly understand ourselves
in a deeper way than just like, oh, I like the
color red, or this is my favorite food, right? Like, you should
know yourself better than any other human knows
you. And we don't really take the time to stop.
And that's that quiet space that I was talking about to just
(24:50):
understand and reflect and to ask ourselves the hard
questions. And I had a coaching client that I thought was fantastic
and phenomenal. And she said, I think the reason why
I keep going and I don't want to be in that quiet
space is because I think it makes me feel depressed,
like when I'm there. And so I don't like the way I feel when
(25:12):
I'm there. And I think that that is so true for
a lot of us, right? We don't like the way that we feel when we're there because
we don't take the time to do the work and work through those
hard feelings while we're there. And I do think that a coach is always helpful
when we're thinking about that, or a therapist. But I think
that that's why people stay away from that quiet space sometimes.
(25:34):
It's that feeling of either I'm sad, or if I go there,
then I have to change my life. And I don't want to change. I'm
happy. Change is hard. I don't want to do that. So
I think self is important. When I think about higher self,
this is all around mindfulness, intuition, growth, things
of that sort that I think are things that take us to that
(25:55):
very, very next level of like, if you're looking at mass loss hierarchy,
it's like all the way up there and enlightenment. And I
know it takes us time to get there. So that to me is always a journey. And
then when I think about connection to others, to me, it's really
about curated connections and understanding the
science of of relationships. I think
(26:16):
sometimes we look at connection as something that
equals friendship or love. And while those two things can
be true, they are separate categories than what I
am talking about when I say connection. Because real connection can
happen with anyone at any point in time. and you can
be strangers on a subway or strangers on the street and
(26:37):
have a moment of connection because it's really about being fully present,
being fully engaged and energy between two people
and you and the other person both feel heard
and understood and seen. That's what true connection is.
So I think that many times we get it confused with friendship
or love. And while those things can happen over
(27:00):
time, That is not what I mean by connection.
And so I think it's just really the psychology of understanding connection and
I love that. And I'm so excited for your book. I can't wait to read
it. So if there's one message you want listeners to take away
I would say to really take time to be
(27:23):
in that quiet space and find what is most fulfilling
and nurturing for you is to take care of yourself. Take
care of yourself because right now we are in a time where
everyone is kind of feeling, you know, a little
untethered, if you will. And so if you can really get
to that space and go back internal versus focusing externally,
(27:46):
I think that we can get back to a time in
which people were able to really understand how
to get to that space between you and the other person
in a way that really feels fulfilling, that really helps
you to think about how you can work together versus apart, and
to really get to that place of performance that you're looking for. So
(28:08):
you can do both. It's not an either or, it's a both can
and still be successful. But I think the success starts within. And
that's my advice to everyone is to really look within and
take that time to just be silent. You don't need to be on social media.
You don't need to be watching the news. You don't need to be worried about all
of your check the boxes. It's really like go inside of yourself and
(28:29):
see what you're missing, because I'm pretty sure
that what you will find will be something that will help you get
Such great advice. And I think it's, you know, how do we turn it again, it's not
easy, but tuning out that external and tuning into the
internal, right? Yes, absolutely. So on this show, we
talk about success and redefining success. I would love to
(28:50):
know, how do you define success for yourself? And maybe
Yeah, I think for me, success is being able
to be the best version of myself at any
given moment throughout my day and to recognize when
I am not the best version of myself and to pour
into myself more compassionately and to reframe the
(29:14):
mistakes that I make as learning opportunities. So
that is truly what I see success as. I can continuously grow
and evolve. and continuously think about ways to be
the best version of myself each and every day for myself, for my family,
for my clients, for everyone. I think that that
Beautifully stated. Dr. Scott, where can our listeners learn more about
(29:39):
Yes, you can definitely find me on LinkedIn. I love interacting with
new people all the time. So you can DM me anytime on LinkedIn. You
can also find me at www.SerenityPsyHealth.com. So
Perfect. I want to thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights and
expertise. Truly love the work that you're doing and the
(30:04):
And of course, you can visit my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. Let us know what you'd like to hear about on future episodes. This
is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy. Our mic drops, but
the movement continues. Until next time, your next chapter is
waiting. Take care. That concludes another empowering episode of
Your Future Starts Now. Before we wrap up, I wanna thank this
(30:24):
incredible community of high-achieving women. Your energy, resilience,
and commitment to growth are the driving force behind what we do.
If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate it, leave a review, and don't forget
to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your feedback fuels our
mission to empower high-achieving women just like you. And of
course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women in
(30:45):
your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
Welcome to Your Future Starts Now, the go-to podcast for
extraordinary women who are ready to step into their next chapter with
authentic confidence. I'm your host, Gia Lacqua empowerment coach,
motivational speaker, children's book author, and girl mom. Whether
you're a corporate powerhouse or an entrepreneur, this show is
designed for you. Your Future Starts Now is more than
(00:20):
just a podcast. It's a movement, a movement towards rewriting
the rules of success for high-achieving women. Are you ready
to get unstuck and step into your next chapter? If
so, you're exactly where you need to be. Your future starts
now. Welcome to Your Future Starts Now.
I'm your host, Gia Lacqua. I want to thank you for tuning in today. I'm
(00:43):
excited to introduce you to Dr. Cree Scott. Dr. Scott
is the founder and CEO of Serenity Psy Consulting. With
over 20 years in psychology and 14 years in leadership development,
she is an ICF certified coach and a member of the Forbes Coaches
Council and the HBR Advisory Council. Dr.
Scott is passionate about helping leaders unlock their full potential.
(01:06):
Through Serenity Psy Consulting, Dr. Scott delivers transformative human-centered
leadership development workshops, team-building sessions, and
consulting services within the area of DEI and employee
well-being. Her work utilizes evidence-based techniques
to translate complex concepts into practical strategies.
With a strengths-based coaching approach rooted in cognitive,
(01:29):
behavioral, and positive psychology, she empowers leaders
to overcome self-limiting beliefs and achieve meaningful personal
and professional growth. Dr. Scott, so excited to
This is going to be a great episode. So today we are talking about leadership,
as you may have guessed, and specifically connection in
(01:53):
leadership, which is a topic that is near and dear to my heart.
Before we jump into the good stuff, maybe you can tell us a little bit about your
Oh, wow. That's a that's a big question about what led me to the work, but I'll
start with my background. So I am by trade a
clinical psychologist and I was practicing as a psychologist
(02:13):
for several years until I was approached to do consulting. And
I started in the consulting field in around 2010. I
did not know what I was doing because I came from a clinical background, but I
learned I feel like I learned pretty quickly. I'm not sure what they
might say. And so I started doing client service for
the Department of Defense and really loved it. I
(02:36):
ended up working at two different consulting firms, my last one being Deloitte. And
while I was at Deloitte, I actually ended up going into leadership
development again, just by happenstance. It was something
that I didn't know a lot about when I got into it,
but then when I finally discovered that it was there,
I absolutely loved it. So it was something that became
(02:58):
a passion of mine in terms of helping leaders through psychological concepts
and through my theorized way of kind of approaching most
of the people that I work with, which is cognitive behavioral psychology and
positive psychology mixed. And yeah, it's been really a
great journey so far. I ended up leaving Deloitte at
the end of 2021. And then I ended up going and
(03:21):
starting my own business again by happenstance. It wasn't
something that I had planned on doing. It was just I wanted to kind of figure out
what was next for me. And since I have been in my own business,
I've been in a lot of different places when it comes to the
type of work that I do. I think always I will
be the consummate consultant, if you will. So
(03:42):
I do a lot of thought partnerships and a
lot of perspective building and things of that sort, strategy sessions
sometimes. But the work that I love doing the most is facilitation and
I really love the work that you're doing, and it is so needed.
And, you know, just appreciate, you know, the energy
and the passion that you bring to it, because it is so needed in
(04:08):
Especially now. And so I'm excited
to jump into it. So in the work that you do, tell
us just a little bit about what are some of the most common challenges you're
seeing for leaders in today's environment and
then maybe specifically what you're seeing because our audience is high achieving
women. If there's any distinction that you're seeing with
(04:31):
Yeah, I mean, I would say just across the board that the
workplace is very different than what it was even
when I was in the workforce, right? Like,
I consider myself a business owner still in the workforce, but not in
the traditional sense. And so one of the biggest things that I'm
seeing is that people are losing that
(04:52):
level of engagement that they used to have. I think everyone is
kind of afraid of what's going to happen next. And the
level of uncertainty is growing at a much more
rapid pace than it was even during COVID. Because now we
have AI and it's going faster
than we can keep up. And we're concerned about losing our jobs. And
(05:12):
what does that mean? And how do I learn to use AI so that I
can stay relevant and all of those things? So I
would say that's probably like the number one thing of how do I stay
engaged through the anxiety and fear that I have? And
that's really hard because when you have anxiety and fear, your
irrational brain starts to kick in. And so engagement is
(05:32):
a little challenging to be fully present because your
cognitive brain is just not on all the way. So I think that,
or the more rational side of yourself, I should say. So I think that that's
probably the number one thing. A second thing is that it's
hard to stay connected because we're so divided. I think
that if you would have even asked me this question like last year, I
(05:53):
would have kind of paused before I would have said this. I will tell
you that the whole landscape of, you know, the political
landscape has divided a lot of people in terms of where
things are going and how people are deciding to
do things. And when I say people, I really mean organizations and the leaders
within those organizations. So I have just seen a
(06:14):
lot of people worried about like, I thought that I had
this, you know, I was going to be doing this. And now what I'm hearing is that
we're pivoting. We're not going to do that anymore, or we need to call
it something different. So there's just, you know, with AI
and the political landscape, there's a lot of difficulty in terms of
people really feeling engaged and connected to one another
(06:36):
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense. And I think, you know, we know change
is a constant. We know that it's not going anywhere and it just feels like
we're in another one of those transitional periods where companies are
Absolutely. And for good reason, right? Like they need to
make sure that they are not only staying relevant in their
industry, but they also need to make sure they're taking care of their employees. And sometimes it
(06:58):
may feel like those two things are at odds, even though my
hope is that they will see that, you know, humans first, right? Like
Yeah, I think, I think the employment or the wellbeing, the
engagement, you know, are still front and center top
priorities or should be at least, but then it's also about what are the corporate
values that you are going to lead with.
(07:20):
And I think if people are not clear on that, then everything gets
a little bit clouded. So I think it is important for people to really know what,
So in the women I work with often, I'll tell you, and I'm sure you
see it as well, I see a lot of women, regardless of title, salary
level, still struggle with, unfortunately, the imposter
syndrome, the self-doubt. I'm curious as to what you see
(07:44):
is some of the most common limiting beliefs that you see
in leaders and how maybe we can start to overcome some
Yeah, I think the biggest thing about imposter syndrome is that people do
not truly believe that they earned their
way to, you know, their right to be where they are. So when
you have that mindset or that narrative in the back of your head about,
(08:05):
oh, I got here because of this thing and
not because of the the hard work that I have done, it becomes very
hard to stay calm and focus
on what's in front of you because your mind is really being
taken elsewhere. So I would say that the biggest thing
that I'm seeing amongst specifically women is that there's
(08:27):
a lot of anxiety that comes with the
landscape of staying where they are and even excelling
to that next level. So there becomes this, if
you will, if I don't keep moving at this pace,
I'm going to get behind or I'm going to get left behind. And
there is this, you know, sense of frenetic energy, if
(08:48):
you will, of spinning the wheels. And sometimes it
is unproductive. Sometimes it is. We know that we need
stress, right? Stress motivates. And we know that if we had
zero stress, then we wouldn't be here. Right. Like, so we
know that there is a need for stress, but the levels in
which I'm seeing it in my coaching clients in particular is
(09:09):
off the charts. And there's also because I
think generally speaking, and this is a huge stereotype. So please, if
someone doesn't fit into this category, please forgive me. But I think
that women in general are just more nurturers, and
we are the people who hold community, right? We
are the glue of communities most of the time. And so when
(09:31):
you have that work life, and then you have family,
community, and all the other things that kind of hold it together, you
become overworked and underappreciated
sometimes. And I think that sometimes we don't know
how to ask for help because we have convinced ourselves that
asking for help is being helpless. And those two things are
(09:54):
very different. And we need to, you know,
we need to figure out how to reframe our narrative
so that we can get the help that we need by also making
sure that we are reaching our goals and achieving all
I love the way you just described the
feelings that pretty much every working woman in
(10:17):
America is feeling. I think it was just so eloquently and
beautifully stated. Biologically, I think you're right. There's some
wiring there of us being the nurturer and the caretaker for
most of us, many of us, a lot of us. And
Right. And that's a lot of pressure. And then so we can't we
(10:42):
Right. And there's a lot of conditioning in there as well. I
can tell you from my own experience, I went through really bad bout of burnout in
my corporate world. 2018, I was having heart palpitations and
I was just, you know, a complete mess. All the physical you know, manifestations of
unrelenting, you know, chronic stress and burnout. But
what I will say is one of the things that I
(11:03):
think we need to normalize is that asking for help and recognizing
that we were never meant to carry it all. But somehow that's where we find
ourselves is in this position where we feel like we have to do
it all be it all be everything to everyone around us,
Right. Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. And the burnout, I
(11:23):
think we don't talk about it enough. And when we do talk about
burnout, I think people just think that, oh, if I go away to a
spa, or if I just take this weekend, I'll
be better. And burnout is way past going to
the spa, right? Like there are some really But there
are some bigger things that you need to be doing to really
(11:44):
get, I guess, healed from burnout. And
Yeah, and I think that's true. And I think there's a lot of hype
around burnout. It's a buzzword, right? People talk a lot about it. And
you're right, there's a lot of quick fixes, but that doesn't necessarily heal
(12:04):
the underlying issue, which is what we really need to get to. So
if you go to a spot for a weekend, you feel better, you come back refreshed, chances are
you're going to fall back into that same cycle and that pattern
of behavior. So I think that's a really good really
good call out. So one thing I also wanted to talk about is
this concept of vulnerability. I know you talk a lot about psychological safety
(12:25):
at work and empathy in leadership and vulnerability. And
similarly, so I think as women, we've been conditioned, you know, don't ask
for help, it shows a sign of weakness. Similarly, I
think a lot of us, and I'm sure this is true for men too, I
think it just applies differently, have been sort of praised for
not being emotional, for not showing emotion in
(12:46):
the workplace. I can remember many, many, many years ago starting
out where it was just something that I, whether it was conscious or
subconsciously did was, you know, void
of all emotion, right? To be more like a
man. And then so for me to overcome that and realize that no,
actually empathy and vulnerability are superpowers and help
(13:07):
with connection and leading teams and people. It was
a struggle, I'm not going to lie. And so that conditioning and those beliefs
that we carry with us for sometimes a lifetime, right? Like
years. I know a lot of Latin struggle with that concept of
Absolutely. So I think it goes back to exactly what you just
said. Like traditionally, women were able to get
(13:30):
promoted into the C-suite or into
those leadership roles because they were mirroring men,
the behaviors of a man. And
the people who were hiring and promoting were men. And
so the psychology behind that is
that there are biases that we all have. And
(13:51):
it's not just men that have biases. It's not one group of people.
Every human has biases. And because the
people who were in the power and still do have
the same power today, even though, you know, whoever you listen to might
say otherwise, they still hold the power. There
is this whole thing around, I
(14:12):
want people, I have this way of thinking about what
success looks like. And if this is
exactly what I believe success looks like, this is what I
did to get here, this is what my predecessor did to get here,
then there's a blueprint. So women began to
follow that blueprint because it's a tried and true way
(14:34):
of getting that promotion. It's a tried and true way of getting
to be invited to this club,
if you will, this leadership club. that if we show something
different, unless there is a person who has
power and privilege that says, yes, that that is OK, then
we tend to get left out. Right. And so I think it's really
(14:57):
a matter of who has the ability to say, you
know, it's OK if we show the human sides of
ourselves. And it's okay if we are able
to talk about the emotions that we experience because we're humans. And
it's okay if we make a mistake and have
an issue with regulating those emotions as long as we can come
(15:17):
back and say, you know what, I didn't really show up as the best
version of myself and I want to apologize for that. that we
are humans and the more that we can show our
humanity, the more engaged our employees will be.
Like that is just psychology. That's just the way that it
is. Like people have to see that they can be themselves and that you're
(15:38):
yourself and that you're a human so that they know
that they can make mistakes and that it's not going to lead to disaster
or to a horrible negative punishment for them
Yeah, I think those are incredibly important points. And I love what you said about
the blueprint, because I think it is that well-carved path that
we feel like we have to follow if we want to be quote unquote successful. So
(16:00):
I guess the million dollar question is how do we start to create a
new blueprint for women in
leadership? And that's not to say we can't draw upon things
that have worked, but maybe there's some things in there, as
Yeah, I think it comes with experimentation. I think
it's also like doing more leadership development around
(16:23):
this topic of empathy, connection, vulnerability, all the things so
that people recognize that this is
a leadership, a leadership edge, if you will, like those people who
are more emotionally and socially intelligent. which
vulnerability is actually a part of that, tend to do better
in their corporate lives or just in life in general because
(16:46):
relationships are pretty much the beginning of
all success. And if you don't have the ability to
really engage with people in a way that makes them
feel valued, that makes them feel seen, heard, understood, all
of the things that as humans we want, then you
will find that you can only go so far in your leadership journey
(17:07):
anyway. And so I think that it's about just really helping
everyone, not just women, but also the people who hold
these leadership positions and are responsible for promoting and things
of that sort, to help them understand that being vulnerable and
showing connection and really showing empathy are
all behaviors that you want to see in a leader. And those
(17:30):
are the things that you should be looking for to really bolster
the performance of the leaders that you have. in your space.
So that's what I would say is just through training and understanding. but
also having conversations like this. I think most of the time,
you know, we're, we're finding that people are not necessarily able
to get into that space of, Oh, I can take this training or
(17:53):
I can go and do this thing. Like it should really be like these
smaller conversations that we're having when we're no longer
at the water cooler. And maybe we will at some point in time, get back
to that space. But when we're just in these conversations and
we're out to dinner or we're in the workplace and we're, we're having team
meetings and things of that sort. This should be a part of those team
(18:21):
Yeah. I think that's great. A great point. And
so before we started recording, you and I were talking a little bit about
high-functioning anxiety and definitely
pros and cons to that. But at many high achievers are focused
on the external success. And I can relate to this because this
was once where I was. But you know, but we tend to neglect our
(18:47):
So I would love to know from your perspective, how can
leaders in particular female leaders ensure that They're
growing in a way that's both externally impactful because we
don't want to lose that, right? We're still ambitious. We want to have impact, but
Yeah. I think that that is the thing that
makes people really stop in their tracks when
(19:11):
you start to ask them, like, what brings you fulfillment and joy? I've
coached a lot of people, a lot of executives and a lot of high powered
women executives in particular. And what
I would say is that most people are able to answer my questions pretty
quickly. But when I ask that question, people usually
stop and then they look at me as if I
(19:34):
just asked the weirdest question ever. And then they can't really answer
it because they're just like, oh, well, I don't. I haven't really thought about
that, right? And why are you thinking about
it? Or that luxury doesn't come to me, right? Because they see
it more as a luxury than something that actually
should be a norm. So what I would always
(19:56):
say is, number one, I think that no matter
what you do in life, it should be fulfilling. I
think that there's a way to find fulfillment once you identify
what is meaningful to you. So there's the meaning and
then there's purpose. And I think that that's where fulfillment comes
from. It is engaging in those things that are meaningful and purposeful to
(20:18):
you and that you are always reaching towards your North
Star and that you're on that path. So for me, I
think that even when I was in corporate America, I had also forgotten
that. I knew something wasn't right, but
I didn't know what that something was. I knew that I felt like
I had hit a ceiling figuratively in terms of where
(20:38):
I could go and what I could do or what I was interested in doing where
I was at that point. And it took me
taking time for myself. So there is a space that
I always talk about, that silent space that we really
need to give ourselves time with. that will allow you to
actually get to that understanding of what is fulfilling for
(20:59):
me, and am I going toward that North Star?
Am I still working toward things that are purposeful and
meaningful to me? And if I am not, where am
I on that path? Am I on all the way over here when
I should be going this way? Or am I just a little bit off
the beaten path and I just need to find my way back? And those
(21:19):
are the things that we don't really sit down and think
about. Like for people who might journal and are more introspective, I
think they might get it a little bit better. But for people who
are constantly in that high achievement mode, constantly like,
I did this thing and I'm gonna do this another thing, and then I'm gonna do
this other thing. Well, the thing that they don't add to
(21:40):
their list is I'm going to look inward and see how I'm doing. That's
the part that's always missing when it comes to the high achiever.
It's always external to your point of what do I need to do
next? And it's a lovely check the box. Like if you look at their little
sheet, all the boxes are checked. They're happy in that in
terms of their external gratification. But what I always say is
(22:01):
that if you ever have that nagging feeling that you've reached this
goal and it feels empty, then you know that you're neglecting yourself
and that you need to start turning inward and look and see where
Such incredible advice. And there's so much power in what you just
said. I think a couple of things I want to just add to that. I think the
(22:21):
pause, or emphasize rather, the pause is really important.
We're so busy doing, going, achieving. taking that
step back to pause and reflect and ask yourself
those questions. So important. That's also where coaching
can be extremely helpful, right? As we know, and I
would say that it's hard and sometimes it can
(22:42):
be scary because we've been so singularly focused.
It could be scary to even take that step back because if the answer
to the question of, you know, is this fulfilling me? Is
this bringing joy? Am I living my purpose? If there's even an
ounce of doubt there, it could be terrifying to
admit to myself, not even out loud to anyone else, that
(23:04):
the answer might be no. And so I think that's incredibly hard.
And again, I'll reiterate, I think that's where, whether it's a friend, a
therapist, a coach, having someone to work through that with you can
be incredibly powerful. So I absolutely love what
you just said. Dr. Scott, I know you have a
book launching this year. What can you share with us?
(23:25):
Yes. So the book is about connection, which is, I
think is a very important topic that we
really need to get back to, especially in this time. And
I know that sounds cliche to say like, oh, in this time it's really, really
disconnected, but we are really disconnected. I don't
know how, what other words to use and not sound too
(23:46):
cliche, but I feel like that there's a psychology of connection that
might be missing and that people may not really understand. So The
book is really around peace and fulfillment, exactly
the things that we're talking about, but it's also around for those people who
are really looking to perform at their best. And that may
be performance at work, that could be performance just in their
(24:07):
personal lives. But when we're thinking about like, what does success
look like? It is all about the psychology of connection. So
I think about it in terms of connection to self. connection
to others, and connection to that higher self. Or some
people might call it, you know, higher consciousness, things of that sort.
But what I really do believe is that we really need to
(24:29):
get to a place where we truly understand ourselves
in a deeper way than just like, oh, I like the
color red, or this is my favorite food, right? Like, you should
know yourself better than any other human knows
you. And we don't really take the time to stop.
And that's that quiet space that I was talking about to just
(24:50):
understand and reflect and to ask ourselves the hard
questions. And I had a coaching client that I thought was fantastic
and phenomenal. And she said, I think the reason why
I keep going and I don't want to be in that quiet
space is because I think it makes me feel depressed,
like when I'm there. And so I don't like the way I feel when
(25:12):
I'm there. And I think that that is so true for
a lot of us, right? We don't like the way that we feel when we're there because
we don't take the time to do the work and work through those
hard feelings while we're there. And I do think that a coach is always helpful
when we're thinking about that, or a therapist. But I think
that that's why people stay away from that quiet space sometimes.
(25:34):
It's that feeling of either I'm sad, or if I go there,
then I have to change my life. And I don't want to change. I'm
happy. Change is hard. I don't want to do that. So
I think self is important. When I think about higher self,
this is all around mindfulness, intuition, growth, things
of that sort that I think are things that take us to that
(25:55):
very, very next level of like, if you're looking at mass loss hierarchy,
it's like all the way up there and enlightenment. And I
know it takes us time to get there. So that to me is always a journey. And
then when I think about connection to others, to me, it's really
about curated connections and understanding the
science of of relationships. I think
(26:16):
sometimes we look at connection as something that
equals friendship or love. And while those two things can
be true, they are separate categories than what I
am talking about when I say connection. Because real connection can
happen with anyone at any point in time. and you can
be strangers on a subway or strangers on the street and
(26:37):
have a moment of connection because it's really about being fully present,
being fully engaged and energy between two people
and you and the other person both feel heard
and understood and seen. That's what true connection is.
So I think that many times we get it confused with friendship
or love. And while those things can happen over
(27:00):
time, That is not what I mean by connection.
And so I think it's just really the psychology of understanding connection and
I love that. And I'm so excited for your book. I can't wait to read
it. So if there's one message you want listeners to take away
I would say to really take time to be
(27:23):
in that quiet space and find what is most fulfilling
and nurturing for you is to take care of yourself. Take
care of yourself because right now we are in a time where
everyone is kind of feeling, you know, a little
untethered, if you will. And so if you can really get
to that space and go back internal versus focusing externally,
(27:46):
I think that we can get back to a time in
which people were able to really understand how
to get to that space between you and the other person
in a way that really feels fulfilling, that really helps
you to think about how you can work together versus apart, and
to really get to that place of performance that you're looking for. So
(28:08):
you can do both. It's not an either or, it's a both can
and still be successful. But I think the success starts within. And
that's my advice to everyone is to really look within and
take that time to just be silent. You don't need to be on social media.
You don't need to be watching the news. You don't need to be worried about all
of your check the boxes. It's really like go inside of yourself and
(28:29):
see what you're missing, because I'm pretty sure
that what you will find will be something that will help you get
Such great advice. And I think it's, you know, how do we turn it again, it's not
easy, but tuning out that external and tuning into the
internal, right? Yes, absolutely. So on this show, we
talk about success and redefining success. I would love to
(28:50):
know, how do you define success for yourself? And maybe
Yeah, I think for me, success is being able
to be the best version of myself at any
given moment throughout my day and to recognize when
I am not the best version of myself and to pour
into myself more compassionately and to reframe the
(29:14):
mistakes that I make as learning opportunities. So
that is truly what I see success as. I can continuously grow
and evolve. and continuously think about ways to be
the best version of myself each and every day for myself, for my family,
for my clients, for everyone. I think that that
Beautifully stated. Dr. Scott, where can our listeners learn more about
(29:39):
Yes, you can definitely find me on LinkedIn. I love interacting with
new people all the time. So you can DM me anytime on LinkedIn. You
can also find me at www.SerenityPsyHealth.com. So
Perfect. I want to thank you so much for being here, for sharing your insights and
expertise. Truly love the work that you're doing and the
(30:04):
And of course, you can visit my website at GiaLacqua.com. Reach out on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. Let us know what you'd like to hear about on future episodes. This
is Gia signing off with gratitude for your time and energy. Our mic drops, but
the movement continues. Until next time, your next chapter is
waiting. Take care. That concludes another empowering episode of
Your Future Starts Now. Before we wrap up, I wanna thank this
(30:24):
incredible community of high-achieving women. Your energy, resilience,
and commitment to growth are the driving force behind what we do.
If you enjoyed today's episode, please rate it, leave a review, and don't forget
to subscribe so you never miss an episode. Your feedback fuels our
mission to empower high-achieving women just like you. And of
course, share Your Future Starts Now with the extraordinary women in
(30:45):
your life who are also on a journey of healing and empowerment. Connect
with us on social media, share your thoughts, let us know what topics you'd like to
explore in future episodes. Stay connected on Instagram at
GiaLacqua. I encourage you to carry the energy of this conversation
into your day and keep on supporting the incredible women around you.
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