August 9, 2025 • 25 mins
Episode 100: Feel to Finish: Meeting yourself at Every Mile
In this episode of "Your Inner Advocate," host Kimen Petersen explores the power of emotional endurance and the importance of feeling your way through life’s challenges. Drawing from personal stories and experiences with athletes, Kimen emphasizes that true growth and freedom come not from pushing through or suppressing difficult emotions, but from allowing yourself to fully experience and accept them. The episode offers practical advice on embracing vulnerability, reframing anxiety, and using emotional acceptance as a foundation for resilience and success. Listeners are encouraged to trust their inner wisdom, meet themselves with compassion in tough moments, and keep moving forward—one step and one feeling at a time.
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0:00 – Introduction 0:42 – Setting the Theme: Emotional Endurance 1:11 – Personal Story: Pushing Limits and Emotional Shutdown 2:10 – Three Core Ideas for Growth 3:10 – The Emotional Side of Endurance 6:00 – Acceptance vs. Resistance 8:00 – Practical Advice: Feeling and Expressing Emotions 10:00 – Reframing and Releasing Emotions 13:00 – Breakthroughs and Building Resilience 17:00 – Athlete’s Story: Acceptance and Olympic Qualification 20:00 – Closing Takeaways and Encouragement
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
What if the real strength isn't in thepushing through, but in allowing yourself
(00:46):
to feel every step of the journey.
In this episode, I talk aboutthe power of emotional endurance.
Why feeling your way through painleads to real freedom and how
meeting yourself in the hard momentsis the key to lasting growth.
(01:10):
This one's for the runners, thedreamers, and the ones fighting for more.
Feel your way to the finish.
Meeting yourself at every mile.
Hey, welcome to your Air Advocate.
I'm Kim and Peterson, and I'mglad you're here with me today.
This episode is about somethingdeeply personal, something
(01:32):
that every athlete, every.
Like person striving for something bigger.
Every runner and anyone who's striving forgrowth at some point in their lives, this
is about the emotional side of endurance.
And I'm gonna start with alittle story from my own journey.
Back before I started this work I'mdoing now and before the podcasting,
(01:59):
I was working really hard.
I definitely pushing my, my limitsphysically, emotionally, intellectually,
and I was shutting down.
I was trying to push back thesefeelings of doubt, frustration and fear.
Fear that I wasn't enough, that somebodywould find out that I'd found my way
(02:23):
into a position that I didn't deserve.
And I thought, you know, if Ikeep on ignoring these feelings,
I'll get stronger faster.
But in the end, what I found out
was the opposite.
Avoiding these feelings left medisconnected from everything for
(02:47):
my work, for my future, for mypurpose, for my relationship.
And most of all for myself.
So today we're gonna explore threepowerful ideas that have helped me,
and these are things I tell the otherpeople to try to help them as well.
(03:10):
First of all, the very firstthing if you come to my space
and you break down.
And you're trying to apologize for beingvulnerable in my presence, there's three
things I'm probably gonna tell you.
First off, you have to feel whatyou feel when you're feeling it,
(03:35):
and literally you have to feel your wayall the way through it, right to the end.
The truth is.
Freedom's not found inthe avoiding big emotions.
The freedom will be found in the feeling
(03:59):
and honestly, and I know a lot of peopleare really tired of meeting themselves
at the bottom, him, but the ultimatetruth of life is you can only feel joy.
Elation, all the great things.
As much as you're willingto feel all the bad things,
(04:22):
see if you can meetyourself at the bottom.
Or if you can't meet yourself atthe bottom, you will never get to
really meet yourself at the top.
This episode isn't just about physicalendurance, it's about emotional strength.
(04:42):
About growth that doesn'tcome from bypassing pain,
but moving through it fully.
Feel what you feel
as any extraordinary human being,entrepreneur, anything, anybody working
(05:05):
at the top of the game, athletes.
Our instinct is often to push throughevery and any obstacle because
this is what's worked in the past.
Push through the workout, push throughthe pain, push through the tough moments.
(05:25):
We grit our teeth and turn off ourfeelings and keep going no matter what
that push through the pain mentalitycelebrated for some crazy reason.
But what about the emotional pain?
What about the feelings that rise up?
Frustration, fear, loneliness,self-doubt, even grief.
(05:52):
Avoiding or suppressing thesefeelings can lead to burnout, injury.
An incredibly deep disconnectionwith who you are, who you're
meant to be, and more importantlywhat you're up to in this life.
Not just from your sport, it'llalso leave you separate from others.
(06:17):
So take a moment right now and pause
and ask yourself this important question,
what emotion am I running from?
Is it a fear of failure?
(06:38):
Shame around too, toomuch incredible progress.
Is it avoiding the anxiety of what's next?
Whatever you're avoiding,
it's okay to acknowledge it.
(07:00):
You can just say, thisis so, but also, so what?
Acknowledgement doesn'tmean you're giving up.
It doesn't mean you're settling.
It doesn't mean literally.
It doesn't mean anything except foryou're saying this is what's so right now,
(07:23):
because the truth is in this life.
Resistance causes persistence.
That which you resist will persist.
That which you push down will growdeep and it'll eventually bubble up.
But on the other side ofresistance causes persistence is
acceptance causes disappearance.
(07:47):
If you accept somethingas it is, say a problem.
Then in the acceptance, the trueacceptance of that problem, it'll
disappear as a problem because now aproblem is only something you're fighting.
If it's what is so, then you'reno longer fighting it, which
(08:10):
means it disappears as a problem.
And this doesn't mean giving up.
It is just accepting what's so and it'snot accepting the so story of what's
so, like you might say, I'm just notgetting a PB and I'm never gonna get
a PB and I'm never gonna make my No.
That's the story.
(08:32):
Don't accept the story.
Accept the what's so, what'sso is right now, there's a
barrier that I haven't overcome.
And accept that fact.
That's it.
I, I have a barrier and Ihave not overcome it yet.
Put in the yet.
I love yet.
(08:53):
You know, if you take it andyou think about a marathon,
you don't skip the middle milesbecause they're hard, right?
You gotta run through 'em.
And one step at a time.
One, one foot in front of the other.
(09:16):
See, it's actually the hardtimes that build the strength
and the way you make the rideeasier is you feel what you feel
when you're going through it.
Just because this isn't hard andI feel inadequate, and all these
thoughts in your head are there.
It doesn't mean that's true.
(09:36):
It's just what you're feeling.
And maybe you need to break down and cry.
I know some incredible peoplewho are so tough and they
will not cry in my presence.
And I'm not trying to makeyou cry in my presence.
I'm just saying you gotta feel it.
So like if you can't feel it in frontof another person, then go home,
(09:56):
turn on the shower, and get in there.
Get mad and feel what you feeland cry and whatever you need.
Go into the forest and scream and swear.
Swear and yell, and cry and yell at God.
I mean, when I finally real realizedthat the big things were stuck in
my life because I was so angry,yet I did not want to feel the
(10:20):
anger and I thought I shouldn't.
So I was resisting the, what wasso, so I was keeping it in place.
And it wasn't until I decidedthat I was gonna feel it right
the way through, no matter howlong it took, no matter how deep.
And no matter how I had toexpress it, I was gonna do it.
I was gonna do it safely and I wasn'tgonna hurt anybody else, that's for sure.
Because the honest truth, if youdon't heal what hurts you, you will
(10:45):
bleed on people who never cut you.
So you need to find asafe way to feel through.
So I, I would drive, do this crazy,drive up to this remote beach in
the rain and I'd just be screamingand yelling and swearing at God.
(11:07):
And there was something cathartic in thatbecause when I allowed myself to feel the
anger, the anger started to dissipate.
You feel this stuff, you move through it.
And then you meet yourself there.
Presence and discomfort, physicalor emotional builds Resilience.
(11:34):
And resilience is thefoundation for growth.
Freedom is in the feeling there isan important truth in this life.
Emotion is.
Energy that needs motion, not suppression.
(11:57):
Sometimes I say in my practice thatlike when people are coming back from
injury, movement is medicine, andmaybe this is true about emotion,
what the things you're feeling.
Maybe you need to allow them tomove through you, not suppress
them, but allow them to slowlymove through you in safe ways.
(12:19):
You know, there was years and yearsago where I was, I was working with a
counselor and they gave me this kindof Nerf like thing, like, I don't know,
Nerf stick or something, and they were,wanted me to release some of my energy,
my, my anger, and they said like,hit this couch with this, this thing.
(12:42):
I'm like, Nope.
And I'm like, why not,not, not gonna do it.
He says, why?
Why can't you do that?
And I was like, I'm afraidif I start, I'll never stop.
And he said, that's what worries me.
Because the problem is when youkeep it inside, when you don't
allow it to move through you, itgets bigger and bigger and bigger.
(13:03):
This is like for fear.
Anger.
Anxiety, doubt, worry.
You have to let it out and youhave to let it out in safe ways.
And this really cool thing that I wastaught is if you can't, if you're afraid
that you start letting it out, it'sgonna come out so fast and so hard that
you're not gonna be able to handle it.
(13:25):
Just imagine a little tap, right?
And when it's safe, you crackit open and you just bleed off
a little bit of pressure, right?
That's what they do with pressure vessels.
When they get too, start gettingtoo much pressure, they just
bleed off a little pressure.
And so you can keep on going, and thenyou find moments when you can open it
(13:46):
up more and slowly open it up more.
Keep on relieving the pressure untilone day you can crack it wide it
open in a safe place where you'renot gonna hurt anybody else or
yourself, and just let it all out.
You know, I've, I've heard peopletell me about a certain race.
(14:09):
That the anxiety was almostparalyzing and their heart were
racing and their thoughts werespiraling, but instead of fighting it,
they remember what their coachsaid and their coach said,
say out loud, this is not fear.
(14:33):
This is excitement.
And maybe sometimes relabeling it.
That's not suppressing it.
You're just relabeling itand then you can express it.
You can feel your body vibrating, and I'mgood and this is gonna pull me forward.
Or maybe you just need to feel whatyou're feeling it, you breathe into it.
(14:56):
Accept it as this is a part of the moment.
And in doing so, you'llprobably find clarity.
You know, the fear and anxietyand worry did not disappear,
but you no longer fear it,
(15:16):
and maybe then you can run with it
and maybe that will openup a new kind of freedom,
turn it into fuel.
Another athlete I used towork with would tell me.
They had a, a reframe for, forracing and they said, listen, if
(15:37):
I ended up on the start line and Iwasn't anxious or worried or afraid,
I knew this wasn't gonna be a great race.
But when I knew I was anxious, worriedand afraid, then I knew I was all in.
(16:00):
And that would be a great race.
Another one of my athletes I love,I love it when she says this.
She says, until it getshard, I can't give it my all.
But as soon as it gets hard,I'm a hundred percent all in.
So you can reframe it.
(16:22):
You don't have to let the frame bedictated by a past or an internal critic.
You can just put your own frame on it.
And this is the paradox.
Freedom does not come after pain or fear.
It comes right through it.
(16:42):
Being willing to identify withyour feelings or being willing to
be with your feelings rather thanresist them leads to breakthroughs.
Mental clarity, renewedmotion, renewed motivation,
(17:03):
and even strength.
You didn't know what you had becauseeverything that you come up against in
this life and everything you overcome,that you come up, everything that you
go right through builds your strength.
It builds your resilience,
(17:26):
and this applies to all aspects of life.
Even training, racing,tr life transitions.
When we accept the feeling,instead of pushing them away,
we unlock a deeper freedom.
The freedom to.
(17:47):
Be our whole self fully alive.
Freedom is found through the feeling.
The third thing, meetingyourself at the bottom.
(18:08):
No, we better unpack this a littlebit 'cause it is a powerful quote.
If you can't meet yourself at the bottom.
You will never meet yourself at the top.
And what does it mean to meet yourself?
At the bottom, it sounds,
(18:31):
sounds like, it meansembracing self-acceptance.
When you're tired, discouraged, broken.
These are the moments yourego wants to hide or give up.
And self-compassion in thosemoments, in those low points is
where true confidence is born.
(18:54):
When you speak kindly to yourselfthrough the struggle, you build
an unshakeable foundation as wellas building your inner advocate.
I wanna share a storyabout a runner I know
who faced two years of injury and doubt.
(19:16):
She was, you know, starting tofeel lost, starting to feel broken.
I mean, her goal was the Olympics.
And even though over and overagain, she wanted to quit,
she kept on pushing through
(19:36):
and even 10 weeks before thequalifying race for the Olympics.
She wanted to quit,
but she didn't.
She decided to switch to day by day.
(19:56):
She decided that she was just gonnaput in the work and she was okay.
She was gonna feel what she felt and shewas gonna just keep on putting the work.
And as long as she got thework, and it didn't have to be.
Perfect.
Could be messy,
(20:17):
it could be as long as she got it doneand she just continued tho over those
10 works weeks putting in the work.
And it's funny, she found thisacceptance around, you know,
she's just gonna do her best.
She's just gonna seewhat shows up on the day.
(20:45):
And coming into the big race, uh,she wasn't even taken seriously.
They didn't invite her to the presserwith all the other fast people,
and yet she was okay with that,
probably mostly because she doesn'tlike that kind of thing, but also
because she was just gonna do her best.
(21:09):
For the first time in a long time.
The two nights before the race sleptwell, got full asleep morning, the race.
She, she woke up and she wasin this space of acceptance.
I overheard the last thing shesaid to her coach, just before the
race started, my legs feel heavy.
(21:30):
And she just went out and she wasn'tcomparing herself to anybody and she
wasn't, she wasn't just, was just moving.
By the time she, she hit 10 K, her pacerrealized that they, he'd taken her out too
fast and asked, do you wanna slow down?
(21:51):
She says, no, let's just keep on going.
She hit the half in a really great place.
I
around 33 k on the out and back.
She could see how far ahead she was withthe next pack of, , women, the chase pack.
So she adjusted her pace to.
Target making Olympicstandard and coming in first,
(22:18):
she came across a linewith Olympic standard
in first place auto qualify.
I tell you the truth, Iwas in tears at the time.
The first time I've ever seen herhappy with a race for a couple minutes.
(22:41):
And then of course, well, like anycompetitive human being runner at that
level, you're gonna start thinking, well,you know, maybe I shouldn't have let up.
Maybe I could've been faster.
But the truth is,
when she came to this place.
(23:03):
Of acceptance at the bottom whenthe training was to the point where
she wanted to quit and she becameokay with being where she was at.
10 weeks after that, she metherself at the top qualified for
(23:26):
the Olympics, a lifelong dream.
So in closing, this is the work.
This is what I want you to take away.
You don't have to be fearless.
(23:47):
Not at all.
You don't have to.
You don't have to be fearless.
You don't have to suppress, youjust have to feel and keep going.
Fall down, get up.
Fall down.
Feel, get up, fall down.
Feel, get up, fall down.
Feel, get up.
(24:08):
There's only a finite amountof times that you need to do
this until you reach your goal.
Trust the emotional processas much as the physical one.
Next time you're out on a run or facingsomething hard in life, don't numb it.
Don't skip it or judge it.
(24:30):
Feel it.
Breathe into it and trust this.
Freedom is waiting on theother side of feeling.
One mile at a time, one moment at a time,and keep building your inner advocate.
(24:53):
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
(25:17):
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
What if the real strength isn't in thepushing through, but in allowing yourself
(00:46):
to feel every step of the journey.
In this episode, I talk aboutthe power of emotional endurance.
Why feeling your way through painleads to real freedom and how
meeting yourself in the hard momentsis the key to lasting growth.
(01:10):
This one's for the runners, thedreamers, and the ones fighting for more.
Feel your way to the finish.
Meeting yourself at every mile.
Hey, welcome to your Air Advocate.
I'm Kim and Peterson, and I'mglad you're here with me today.
This episode is about somethingdeeply personal, something
(01:32):
that every athlete, every.
Like person striving for something bigger.
Every runner and anyone who's striving forgrowth at some point in their lives, this
is about the emotional side of endurance.
And I'm gonna start with alittle story from my own journey.
Back before I started this work I'mdoing now and before the podcasting,
(01:59):
I was working really hard.
I definitely pushing my, my limitsphysically, emotionally, intellectually,
and I was shutting down.
I was trying to push back thesefeelings of doubt, frustration and fear.
Fear that I wasn't enough, that somebodywould find out that I'd found my way
(02:23):
into a position that I didn't deserve.
And I thought, you know, if Ikeep on ignoring these feelings,
I'll get stronger faster.
But in the end, what I found out
was the opposite.
Avoiding these feelings left medisconnected from everything for
(02:47):
my work, for my future, for mypurpose, for my relationship.
And most of all for myself.
So today we're gonna explore threepowerful ideas that have helped me,
and these are things I tell the otherpeople to try to help them as well.
(03:10):
First of all, the very firstthing if you come to my space
and you break down.
And you're trying to apologize for beingvulnerable in my presence, there's three
things I'm probably gonna tell you.
First off, you have to feel whatyou feel when you're feeling it,
(03:35):
and literally you have to feel your wayall the way through it, right to the end.
The truth is.
Freedom's not found inthe avoiding big emotions.
The freedom will be found in the feeling
(03:59):
and honestly, and I know a lot of peopleare really tired of meeting themselves
at the bottom, him, but the ultimatetruth of life is you can only feel joy.
Elation, all the great things.
As much as you're willingto feel all the bad things,
(04:22):
see if you can meetyourself at the bottom.
Or if you can't meet yourself atthe bottom, you will never get to
really meet yourself at the top.
This episode isn't just about physicalendurance, it's about emotional strength.
(04:42):
About growth that doesn'tcome from bypassing pain,
but moving through it fully.
Feel what you feel
as any extraordinary human being,entrepreneur, anything, anybody working
(05:05):
at the top of the game, athletes.
Our instinct is often to push throughevery and any obstacle because
this is what's worked in the past.
Push through the workout, push throughthe pain, push through the tough moments.
(05:25):
We grit our teeth and turn off ourfeelings and keep going no matter what
that push through the pain mentalitycelebrated for some crazy reason.
But what about the emotional pain?
What about the feelings that rise up?
Frustration, fear, loneliness,self-doubt, even grief.
(05:52):
Avoiding or suppressing thesefeelings can lead to burnout, injury.
An incredibly deep disconnectionwith who you are, who you're
meant to be, and more importantlywhat you're up to in this life.
Not just from your sport, it'llalso leave you separate from others.
(06:17):
So take a moment right now and pause
and ask yourself this important question,
what emotion am I running from?
Is it a fear of failure?
(06:38):
Shame around too, toomuch incredible progress.
Is it avoiding the anxiety of what's next?
Whatever you're avoiding,
it's okay to acknowledge it.
(07:00):
You can just say, thisis so, but also, so what?
Acknowledgement doesn'tmean you're giving up.
It doesn't mean you're settling.
It doesn't mean literally.
It doesn't mean anything except foryou're saying this is what's so right now,
(07:23):
because the truth is in this life.
Resistance causes persistence.
That which you resist will persist.
That which you push down will growdeep and it'll eventually bubble up.
But on the other side ofresistance causes persistence is
acceptance causes disappearance.
(07:47):
If you accept somethingas it is, say a problem.
Then in the acceptance, the trueacceptance of that problem, it'll
disappear as a problem because now aproblem is only something you're fighting.
If it's what is so, then you'reno longer fighting it, which
(08:10):
means it disappears as a problem.
And this doesn't mean giving up.
It is just accepting what's so and it'snot accepting the so story of what's
so, like you might say, I'm just notgetting a PB and I'm never gonna get
a PB and I'm never gonna make my No.
That's the story.
(08:32):
Don't accept the story.
Accept the what's so, what'sso is right now, there's a
barrier that I haven't overcome.
And accept that fact.
That's it.
I, I have a barrier and Ihave not overcome it yet.
Put in the yet.
I love yet.
(08:53):
You know, if you take it andyou think about a marathon,
you don't skip the middle milesbecause they're hard, right?
You gotta run through 'em.
And one step at a time.
One, one foot in front of the other.
(09:16):
See, it's actually the hardtimes that build the strength
and the way you make the rideeasier is you feel what you feel
when you're going through it.
Just because this isn't hard andI feel inadequate, and all these
thoughts in your head are there.
It doesn't mean that's true.
(09:36):
It's just what you're feeling.
And maybe you need to break down and cry.
I know some incredible peoplewho are so tough and they
will not cry in my presence.
And I'm not trying to makeyou cry in my presence.
I'm just saying you gotta feel it.
So like if you can't feel it in frontof another person, then go home,
(09:56):
turn on the shower, and get in there.
Get mad and feel what you feeland cry and whatever you need.
Go into the forest and scream and swear.
Swear and yell, and cry and yell at God.
I mean, when I finally real realizedthat the big things were stuck in
my life because I was so angry,yet I did not want to feel the
(10:20):
anger and I thought I shouldn't.
So I was resisting the, what wasso, so I was keeping it in place.
And it wasn't until I decidedthat I was gonna feel it right
the way through, no matter howlong it took, no matter how deep.
And no matter how I had toexpress it, I was gonna do it.
I was gonna do it safely and I wasn'tgonna hurt anybody else, that's for sure.
Because the honest truth, if youdon't heal what hurts you, you will
(10:45):
bleed on people who never cut you.
So you need to find asafe way to feel through.
So I, I would drive, do this crazy,drive up to this remote beach in
the rain and I'd just be screamingand yelling and swearing at God.
(11:07):
And there was something cathartic in thatbecause when I allowed myself to feel the
anger, the anger started to dissipate.
You feel this stuff, you move through it.
And then you meet yourself there.
Presence and discomfort, physicalor emotional builds Resilience.
(11:34):
And resilience is thefoundation for growth.
Freedom is in the feeling there isan important truth in this life.
Emotion is.
Energy that needs motion, not suppression.
(11:57):
Sometimes I say in my practice thatlike when people are coming back from
injury, movement is medicine, andmaybe this is true about emotion,
what the things you're feeling.
Maybe you need to allow them tomove through you, not suppress
them, but allow them to slowlymove through you in safe ways.
(12:19):
You know, there was years and yearsago where I was, I was working with a
counselor and they gave me this kindof Nerf like thing, like, I don't know,
Nerf stick or something, and they were,wanted me to release some of my energy,
my, my anger, and they said like,hit this couch with this, this thing.
(12:42):
I'm like, Nope.
And I'm like, why not,not, not gonna do it.
He says, why?
Why can't you do that?
And I was like, I'm afraidif I start, I'll never stop.
And he said, that's what worries me.
Because the problem is when youkeep it inside, when you don't
allow it to move through you, itgets bigger and bigger and bigger.
(13:03):
This is like for fear.
Anger.
Anxiety, doubt, worry.
You have to let it out and youhave to let it out in safe ways.
And this really cool thing that I wastaught is if you can't, if you're afraid
that you start letting it out, it'sgonna come out so fast and so hard that
you're not gonna be able to handle it.
(13:25):
Just imagine a little tap, right?
And when it's safe, you crackit open and you just bleed off
a little bit of pressure, right?
That's what they do with pressure vessels.
When they get too, start gettingtoo much pressure, they just
bleed off a little pressure.
And so you can keep on going, and thenyou find moments when you can open it
(13:46):
up more and slowly open it up more.
Keep on relieving the pressure untilone day you can crack it wide it
open in a safe place where you'renot gonna hurt anybody else or
yourself, and just let it all out.
You know, I've, I've heard peopletell me about a certain race.
(14:09):
That the anxiety was almostparalyzing and their heart were
racing and their thoughts werespiraling, but instead of fighting it,
they remember what their coachsaid and their coach said,
say out loud, this is not fear.
(14:33):
This is excitement.
And maybe sometimes relabeling it.
That's not suppressing it.
You're just relabeling itand then you can express it.
You can feel your body vibrating, and I'mgood and this is gonna pull me forward.
Or maybe you just need to feel whatyou're feeling it, you breathe into it.
(14:56):
Accept it as this is a part of the moment.
And in doing so, you'llprobably find clarity.
You know, the fear and anxietyand worry did not disappear,
but you no longer fear it,
(15:16):
and maybe then you can run with it
and maybe that will openup a new kind of freedom,
turn it into fuel.
Another athlete I used towork with would tell me.
They had a, a reframe for, forracing and they said, listen, if
(15:37):
I ended up on the start line and Iwasn't anxious or worried or afraid,
I knew this wasn't gonna be a great race.
But when I knew I was anxious, worriedand afraid, then I knew I was all in.
(16:00):
And that would be a great race.
Another one of my athletes I love,I love it when she says this.
She says, until it getshard, I can't give it my all.
But as soon as it gets hard,I'm a hundred percent all in.
So you can reframe it.
(16:22):
You don't have to let the frame bedictated by a past or an internal critic.
You can just put your own frame on it.
And this is the paradox.
Freedom does not come after pain or fear.
It comes right through it.
(16:42):
Being willing to identify withyour feelings or being willing to
be with your feelings rather thanresist them leads to breakthroughs.
Mental clarity, renewedmotion, renewed motivation,
(17:03):
and even strength.
You didn't know what you had becauseeverything that you come up against in
this life and everything you overcome,that you come up, everything that you
go right through builds your strength.
It builds your resilience,
(17:26):
and this applies to all aspects of life.
Even training, racing,tr life transitions.
When we accept the feeling,instead of pushing them away,
we unlock a deeper freedom.
The freedom to.
(17:47):
Be our whole self fully alive.
Freedom is found through the feeling.
The third thing, meetingyourself at the bottom.
(18:08):
No, we better unpack this a littlebit 'cause it is a powerful quote.
If you can't meet yourself at the bottom.
You will never meet yourself at the top.
And what does it mean to meet yourself?
At the bottom, it sounds,
(18:31):
sounds like, it meansembracing self-acceptance.
When you're tired, discouraged, broken.
These are the moments yourego wants to hide or give up.
And self-compassion in thosemoments, in those low points is
where true confidence is born.
(18:54):
When you speak kindly to yourselfthrough the struggle, you build
an unshakeable foundation as wellas building your inner advocate.
I wanna share a storyabout a runner I know
who faced two years of injury and doubt.
(19:16):
She was, you know, starting tofeel lost, starting to feel broken.
I mean, her goal was the Olympics.
And even though over and overagain, she wanted to quit,
she kept on pushing through
(19:36):
and even 10 weeks before thequalifying race for the Olympics.
She wanted to quit,
but she didn't.
She decided to switch to day by day.
(19:56):
She decided that she was just gonnaput in the work and she was okay.
She was gonna feel what she felt and shewas gonna just keep on putting the work.
And as long as she got thework, and it didn't have to be.
Perfect.
Could be messy,
(20:17):
it could be as long as she got it doneand she just continued tho over those
10 works weeks putting in the work.
And it's funny, she found thisacceptance around, you know,
she's just gonna do her best.
She's just gonna seewhat shows up on the day.
(20:45):
And coming into the big race, uh,she wasn't even taken seriously.
They didn't invite her to the presserwith all the other fast people,
and yet she was okay with that,
probably mostly because she doesn'tlike that kind of thing, but also
because she was just gonna do her best.
(21:09):
For the first time in a long time.
The two nights before the race sleptwell, got full asleep morning, the race.
She, she woke up and she wasin this space of acceptance.
I overheard the last thing shesaid to her coach, just before the
race started, my legs feel heavy.
(21:30):
And she just went out and she wasn'tcomparing herself to anybody and she
wasn't, she wasn't just, was just moving.
By the time she, she hit 10 K, her pacerrealized that they, he'd taken her out too
fast and asked, do you wanna slow down?
(21:51):
She says, no, let's just keep on going.
She hit the half in a really great place.
I
around 33 k on the out and back.
She could see how far ahead she was withthe next pack of, , women, the chase pack.
So she adjusted her pace to.
Target making Olympicstandard and coming in first,
(22:18):
she came across a linewith Olympic standard
in first place auto qualify.
I tell you the truth, Iwas in tears at the time.
The first time I've ever seen herhappy with a race for a couple minutes.
(22:41):
And then of course, well, like anycompetitive human being runner at that
level, you're gonna start thinking, well,you know, maybe I shouldn't have let up.
Maybe I could've been faster.
But the truth is,
when she came to this place.
(23:03):
Of acceptance at the bottom whenthe training was to the point where
she wanted to quit and she becameokay with being where she was at.
10 weeks after that, she metherself at the top qualified for
(23:26):
the Olympics, a lifelong dream.
So in closing, this is the work.
This is what I want you to take away.
You don't have to be fearless.
(23:47):
Not at all.
You don't have to.
You don't have to be fearless.
You don't have to suppress, youjust have to feel and keep going.
Fall down, get up.
Fall down.
Feel, get up, fall down.
Feel, get up, fall down.
Feel, get up.
(24:08):
There's only a finite amountof times that you need to do
this until you reach your goal.
Trust the emotional processas much as the physical one.
Next time you're out on a run or facingsomething hard in life, don't numb it.
Don't skip it or judge it.
(24:30):
Feel it.
Breathe into it and trust this.
Freedom is waiting on theother side of feeling.
One mile at a time, one moment at a time,and keep building your inner advocate.
(24:53):
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
(25:17):
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
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