July 19, 2025 • 32 mins
Episode 94: Embracing Beginner's Mind: Unlocking Authenticity and Continuous Growth
In this episode of Your Inner Advocate, Kimen Petersen discusses the concept of 'beginner's mind'—an attitude of openness and curiosity that can lead to continuous learning and personal growth. The episode explores how holding onto fixed beliefs and knowledge can limit us, while adopting a beginner's mindset can help us move through life with more clarity and fulfillment. Kimen shares a Zen Buddhist story to illustrate the importance of creating space in our minds for new learning. He also delves into how embracing a beginner's mindset can help overcome imposter syndrome, foster resilience, and encourage a child-like curiosity and joy in learning. Finally, the episode emphasizes the role of the inner advocate in encouraging this mindset and the transformative power of doubting fears and limitations.
00:00 Introduction to Your Inner Advocate
00:41 Understanding Beginner's Mind
01:17 The Zen Buddhist Story 02:38 The Value of Beginner's Mind
05:42 Children and Beginner's Mind 08:06 Overcoming Failure with Beginner's Mind
12:58 The Role of the Inner Critic
20:17 Embracing Beginner's Mind in Life
32:07 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
Today I want to talkabout beginner's mind.
(00:45):
And sometimes it's easier to tell a story,then try to explain what you're saying.
'cause have you heard of beginner's Mind?
You know, it sounds likesomebody who doesn't know a
lot who's just getting started
(01:07):
in the whole thing.
But the truth is, beginner'smind is an attitude rather
than, um, a state of experience.
And the best way to describe Inners innermind is to tell this Z Buddhist story.
So this very, very wise scholar, uh,sought out this Zen Buddhist master and
(01:31):
he came to the persons this Buddhistmaster's hut, and he sat down and he
started telling the Buddhist mastersstory of all the things he'd studied
and all the religions he studiedand all the intellect and science.
And he went on and on and on.
And the Zen Buddhist masterjust sat there and listened and
nodded his head and listened.
(01:53):
And in the end, the scholar said,I've come to learn from you.
And the Zen Buddhist minister had handedhim a tea cup and started pouring tea.
He didn't say a word, and he kepton pouring and pouring and pouring.
And then the tea startedspilling over the cup.
(02:15):
And the scholar said,wait, sir. Stop, stop.
You're, you're, you're pouringall the tea outta the cup.
And the Zen Buddhist masters said tohim, simply, your cup is al already full.
How will you have any space to learnanything that I have to teach you?
(02:37):
Interesting.
Eh,
you know, it seems like in the west andin an intellectual society we live in.
It, the amount of intellect,you know, um, is incredibly
valuable and is highly prized.
(03:00):
Like how much you know about a topicis the most important thing there is,
but I don't know.
I've said it before.
I'll say it again.
Anything, you know,
for a fact.
About yourself, about life,about any subject that you
(03:25):
are looking at or studying orlearning limits you to that fact.
But now I'll add that if you know so muchabout something, there really isn't a
lot of room left to add anything to it.
So this is why we talkabout beginner's mind.
(03:46):
Our beginner's mindset because a true,you know, a true internal advocate or
advocate for learning or for life, orfor pursuit or excellence, or working
towards something being extraordinary,we create space to learn more.
(04:12):
So no matter how much you know, there's.
More to learn.
I, I feel like in a sense, somebody withimposter syndrome is somebody with, Hmm.
It could end up being adysfunctional beginner's mind.
(04:33):
Have you ever heard, and maybe you'llrecognize this when I say it, it's like,
'cause this, this is me in a nutshell.
Um, I.
I have have found in my life thatevery time I learn something new, like
I open up one new door on the other,that side of that is six new doors.
(04:59):
So it's the idea I learn somethingnew and then there's so many other
things to learn around that thing.
And then if I open each of thosestores, there's six more and so on
and so on and so on to the point.
Where I start to realize that what Iknow compared to all the knowledge in the
world about that subject, I know nothing.
(05:22):
I know, absolutely.
I know less than nothing,
and that can become dysfunctionalif you're sitting in this overwhelm
of all there is to know aboutsomething and understanding
how little you know about it,
but.
If you take a look at children,
(05:46):
like they've learned to play and they'revery interested, like if you've ever
been around a really young child whojust keeps on asking questions and like
they keep on going, why and why And that,and then why, and Oh yeah, and, and why.
And why and why, and they're justlike seeking knowledge, right?
(06:09):
And they typically don't getcompletely overwhelmed or, or really
upset about the mass amount of, ofknowledge there is, but they're very
intrigued and they're very joyful.
And they have open hearts and open minds.
(06:32):
You know, the interest.
There's, there's so manyinteresting things about children.
Like if you think about beginner's mind.
Like when, when an adult falls downor fails, they're like, oh, woe is me.
This means like I'm gonna fail forever.
And like, oh, this is so terrible.
And like I fell down so many timesand now I've fallen down again.
(06:53):
I'll never make it.
And a child falls down and theycry, and then five minutes later
it's all gone and they're up andbouncing around having fun again.
You see, 'cause children don't, aren'tweighted down with all the, the knowledge
(07:14):
and the thoughts and, you know, maymaybe the internal dialogue and the
internal critic isn't really powerful yet.
It children are just, they'rea blank page in an open book
and they're out there learning,
you know.
(07:35):
I, I feel like a be beginner's mind alsoisn't weighted down with all this thoughts
that like, you know, you gotta be tough.
You can't show emotion.
And children now they just feel what theyfeel when they're feeling it and they
feel their way all the way through it.
And it takes a, it, it's reallycompared to the average, it's pretty
(07:55):
quick that they get over things.
'cause that's what abeginner's mind would be.
It's like, yeah, you, you.
You, you know, you think,think of it this way.
I, I remember this like,
nowadays, if we're trying to tr learnsomething new and we, and we keep on
(08:18):
failing four or 5, 6, 7 times there, therecomes a point where we go, okay, I quit.
I'm never gonna get this.
But what would happen if a child.
You know, trying to walk, trying to walk.
5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Ah, screw it.
I'm not gonna try it anymore.
I quit.
I'm just not gonna walk.
(08:40):
See, they're not weighteddown by a future, right?
I feel like beginner's mindlives in the present, right?
Like child falls down, laughs get backup, falls down, cries, gets back up,
and they just keep on doing it over andover and over, and over and over again.
(09:01):
You know, I think that's oneaspect of beginner's mind that
could really change our lives.
If we realize that failure doesn'tmean anything unless we make it mean
something, like, listen, literallynothing inherently means anything
until we place some meaning on it,
(09:22):
and you actually have the choice,the meaning you put on it.
You could like fail and say, oh, well,I'm just no good at this, so I quit.
Or You can fail at, fail at this,and you're like, I'm gonna get this.
Like, I'm just gonna keepon trying till I get it.
I,
(09:45):
I feel like some of the most incrediblepeople I've met in this world
have this attitude that, you know,
when it gets hard.
That's when I go in,that's when I push hard.
I saw this quote that some peoplequit because it's hard and some
people start because of it's hard.
(10:05):
And that's kind of the idea of,
you know, one, one set of peoplewill realize, will, you know, may
make it mean that it, it's too hard.
I can't do it.
And the other set ofpeople will like, wow.
It's, it's hard.
It is hard, but then there's, youknow, it's going to, it's gonna
(10:29):
build strength in me or wow, it's achallenge and I'm ready for a challenge.
It's like, how is life?
How would life be just sitting on acouch, not doing anything, basically
giving up, just existing, just taking upspace until you breathe your last breath.
What does that life look like?
Or how about a life where you meetchallenges and you fall down, you
(10:55):
get back up, you get bruised, you getdented, you get, you get scarred up.
But like, you just don't makethat mean something negative.
Like,
you know, they say, there's aChinese proverb that says, without
struggle, there's no progress.
(11:18):
So it's literally the hardstuff that moves you forward.
It's not the hard stuffthat holds you back.
It's the hard stuffthat moves you forward.
You know, no matter where you're at inlife, no matter how much you've learned,
no matter how great you are at something,there's always, always more to learn.
(11:44):
But if your cup is so full that there'sno room for somebody to pour into you
that no one can teach you,
do you want to spend a lifelimited by what you know
or do you want to be spending this life
(12:08):
learning more?
And more
because I honestly think the most,
the thing that takes this wind out of oursails the most is becoming complacent.
Um, giving up, living a mediocrelife, not having goals to reach for.
(12:36):
I'm thinking we know it all somuch that nobody can add to that.
I feel like life is actually given to us
by the challenges we overcome.
(12:58):
And yeah, I mean, one of the, one of thebiggest identifiers and this, this is the.
Yeah, this is probably the one thingthat I have learned on this planet is
that I have this ego sense of identityinner critic in me, and it was developed
(13:18):
for really good intentions, right?
Um, my inner critic, my identity, my egowas developed in order to keep me safe.
And in order to keep me from beingharmed, and it has this box, it knows and
(13:38):
it creates, this is who I am and it's,it's like literally I am in this box.
I am confined to this much, andif I ever step out of that box,
then there's the risk of harm,the risk of being embarrassed or.
(14:00):
Or getting something wrong or failingor even like getting injured or hurt.
And it all comes from moments in lifewhere, you know, you stepped out too far.
My inner critic, my ego, my senseof identity was created in the
moments where I kind of steppedoutside of who I thought I was.
(14:27):
With an incredible amount of expression.
And then somebody said, what a loser.
And I heard that, what an idiot.
And then my inner critic
would parrot that over and over again.
Anytime I tried to step into somekind of expression in front of people,
(14:49):
all I'd hear is, you're a loser.
You're a loser.
What an idiot.
You suck over and over again.
I just hear that.
And it would bring me back to thatfear of that moment of being completely
embarrassed, being about 12 or 13years old when it's so important.
Uh, looking good andfitting in is so important.
(15:10):
And I realized how I didn't,and I connected to that to me,
going with some really incredibleexpression, self-expression,
outside the box expression.
And that inner critic inside mesense of identity said, never
gonna let that happen again.
(15:32):
And then I spent a whole bunch of my life
knowing so much that I would nevergo into self-expression expression,
because I knew if I go intoself-expression, that's embarrassment.
That's not being connected.
(15:52):
Not being, not fitting in.
That's a loser, an idiot.
And it wasn't until I realized howconfining, knowing this, knowing
that if I step, step outside of my,my small level of self-expression,
(16:18):
I had to step outside ofthe fact that that meant.
You know that I was gonna beembarrassed or hurt or not fit in or
all that, and I had to practice doingthings in a small way, progressive
progressively expressing myself tothe point where I would be embarrassed
(16:40):
and feeling what that feels like andfeeling like I could survive that.
And then over time, I was able to get.
Make bigger and bigger forms ofexpression and not worry about whatever.
It's like really, I, I started goingback to beginner's mind where I wasn't
that worried what people were thinkinganymore because I don't even know
(17:02):
what they're thinking and how do Iknow that what they're thinking is not
transference, it's not them putting whatthey would feel in that moment on me.
Maybe it's just their limitationssaying, oh, man, if I did that, oh,
so I'm gonna point at them and saysomething, but I've got the rest
of my fingers pointing back at me.
(17:27):
And then over time, learning so muchabout different things and thinking
I, I knew it all, and finding out ifI could step back and just listen.
That I had a lot to learn, you know, in mywork right now, like I said, I, I've got
imposter syndrome and it's like every timeI learn something new, I notice there's,
(17:53):
there's six other things to learn now.
So the more I learn, the more there isto know and to the point where I realized
I just don't know anything comparedto the amount of knowledge out there.
And then I have to go back tobeginner's mind and trust that
what I'm doing is helping.
(18:15):
And yes, because I have beginner's mind,even though I see something going on
and I've got a strong suspicion thatis a certain thing, I'm gonna test it
really well to make sure I'm right.
But I, the, how I learned how I workto make sure I'm right now is I try
my darnedest to prove I'm wrong first.
(18:39):
Like I figure, I feel like that could beBen Gunner's mind too is like you have
an assumption, and in order to make surethat you're not stuck in some confirmation
bias and confirmation bias is simple.
It's like confirmation biaswhen you have this assumption or
this hypothesis or this belief.
That's so strong that all you'll seek outis everything to confirm what you believe,
(19:06):
what your hypothesis, what your assumptionis, and you'll, you'll only focus on
everything that confirms it, and thenanything that denies it, you'll ignore.
So confirmation bias is also, I believeit's the opposite of beginner's mind.
(19:27):
Because when I learned aboutcon confirmation bias, I decided
that for now on every time I havean assumption, I'm gonna try to
prove my assumption wrong first.
And I'm gonna try really hard and giveit an honest effort to prove it wrong.
And if I prove it wrong, great.
And if I can't prove it wrong,then it must be right, and
then I'll move down that path.
(19:52):
Yeah.
Have you ever heard, whenyou make an assumption, you
make an ass outta you and me?
Assume,
you know, if
I, I think like living in a beginner'smind is almost an act of faith.
(20:17):
So for instance, like right now doingthis podcast, talking about this, I
have to enter beginner's mind to do thisbecause if I go with what I know, with
what I'm full of, I mean, if I go with theresults up to now of what I've been doing
with this podcast and working in thisdirection, if I sat in that I would quit.
(20:42):
I would stop recording.
Because there's so much that I knowthat I'm not doing well enough, and if
I sat there knowing for sure that I'mnever really gonna make it with this
and I'm never gonna really make, make abig difference with this, I would quit.
(21:04):
I wouldn't even try.
And I think if you knew too much,any pursuit that you were up against.
If you know too much, you'reprobably gonna quit, and then you're
gonna miss out on some of the mostextraordinary moments of your life.
(21:24):
You have to give upwhat you think you know,
and you just have to go and try.
That's beginner's mind like.
I rem, there was an AlbertEinstein quote was like, like
(21:45):
everybody, everybody knew it wasimpossible until the fool that did not
know it was impossible went and did it.
I am willing in this life tobe a fool to live in beginner's
mind, to just keep on trying.
(22:10):
To have the chance
of doing something that partof me knows will never happen.
I,
I can't sit in that knowing mind.
I just can't, I don't wannaknow that I'm not successful.
(22:33):
I don't wanna know that I, I'llnever be financially abundant.
I, I don't wanna know that.
I'll never really havethe impact on this planet.
I wanna sit in the beginner'smind that like, I, I don't know.
I don't know if I can, becauseon the other side of, I don't
(22:53):
know, I can is also, I don't know.
I can't, and I'm just gonna try.
I'm just gonna keep on opening mymind and every time the inner critic
says, oh, you're not good enough.
You're never gonna make it, uh,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm just gonna get back up and try.
(23:14):
Because honestly, if you're really, thinkabout it, if you really take on something
new, if you're really in beginner'smind with something new and you're
not like crushing it out of the park.
You give.
You have this internal advocatethat's giving you all this space.
It's okay, you're just starting.
Come on, let's go.
Or you have external ag advocates who aresaying that to you, Hey, no, it's okay.
(23:38):
Get back up.
Try again.
Let's go.
It's okay.
You're just learning.
You're learning.
You're getting there.
You've got all this space to learn.
Keep on going.
So if you look at that
and then maybe.
Think about maybe you're in somethingright now, something that you're pretty
(24:03):
damn good at, that you've been prettydamn successful at, but you're stuck
at a plateau, or you want to take itto an extreme level, and yet you're in
this cycle of not quite moving forwardor not moving forward fast enough,
and you feel kind of stuck in that cycle.
(24:26):
And maybe once in a while somebody givesyou advice, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know that
Maybe this is the time tolike kind of shift the mindset
and maybe incorporate maybe, I don'tknow as much as I think I know,
(24:51):
and maybe it's time to likesit down with somebody else.
Who sees it from a differentperspective and talk to them
and like with an open mind here, likethe truth is, some of it, some of
it you're gonna know for sure 'causeyou've been down that path, right?
And there's certain things and you,you do probably know your body better
(25:13):
than anybody else and a lot of things.
But if you can actually open your mind.
Approach things with an open mind.
It's like
somebody might just say, if youhave an open mind and you're really
(25:34):
listening, somebody might just saysomething just a little bit different
from the way you've ever heardit before, and that might shift.
It's like, for me, I've lived in.
My head, my whole life, and I have hadan internal critic in there my whole
(26:01):
life, and I've learned how to deal withit, how to ignore it, how to fight.
It did,
and.
And then one day somebody popped intomy space and they were like, we're
(26:25):
working with a mental performance person.
And I, I've been workingwith my, like my brain a lot.
One of the episodes was like,the brain will try to give
up long before the body does.
I've been working with this and likemy internal critic would come in like.
It would, it would, it would chirpat me, oh, this, it's too hard.
(26:46):
You can't do it.
You can't do it.
And then one morning I'm like goingin the same place and heading for this
hill, and I suddenly hear this positivevoice comes, keep going, you got this.
I'm like, what the hell was that?
And then shortly later,this athlete comes in.
They've been talking to a mentalperformance person and they go.
Yeah, I, they, they were telling me,we were talking about the internal
(27:08):
critic and, you know, internal critic.
I got that.
I know that like, got that I, Iget the inner voice stuff, but
my, my brain's open right now.
And then they were like, and then theysaid, what about the internal advocate?
And I'm like, what?
Tell me more.
(27:32):
You ever notice when some realtruth shows up in your space?
You get chills.
I got chills when I heard that word.
It was suddenly that positivevoice, that one that was arguing
with the internal critic, the onethat was actually intentionally
created by myself internally.
To deal with that negative thoughtpattern, rather than grabbing on that
(27:56):
thinking, that's me, and trying to bethat, or like trying to encourage that.
I have this other voice that'slike, no, no, no, that's not true.
And suddenly it become automaticand suddenly I gotta, I
gotta name, I can name this.
This is my internal advocate.
And it's cool because I'm totallybeginner's mind with the internal
(28:17):
advocate, like, whoa, cool.
How do I play?
How can I play with this?
Like, how can I create this?
How can I be this?
You know, I've said it before.
I'll say it again.
Anything you know, to be afact of yourself limits you.
(28:38):
That fact.
Anything you know about life, any beliefyou have, it limits you to these beliefs.
And when you fill yourself up so much withthis information and belief and you, you
hold onto it so tightly and you have thiscup that's completely full, you really
(29:03):
don't have a lot of room for anything new.
Until you approach beginner's mind,
you know, a beginner's mindwould doubt the fear, you know?
Doubt the fear.
(29:25):
It would doubt the limitation.
It would doubt the negative beliefs.
It's like, well, I don'tknow if that's true.
I'm just gonna try.
Like, I'm not smart enough to knowthat I will never make it to whatever.
Maybe, yeah, maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not.
I'm too simple to understandthat, you know, nobody from North
(29:48):
America can take a running record.
I'm just like a little too simple tounderstand that, so I'm just gonna try.
I'm just gonna go for it.
Who knows?
I, I feel like
creating beginner's mind couldalmost be one of the first step to
(30:12):
inner advocacy, to like looseningyour, your hold on, your beliefs,
loosening your, hold on, who youthink you know yourself to be.
And just going out inthe world and playing
(30:32):
beginner's mind doesn't take what'sgoing on right now or tomorrow or the
next day, or like the things that's beengoing on for three years and keep on
throwing it into the future and usingthat to make them believe that they can't.
They just get out there and play.
I honestly think the beginner'smind is a great place to start.
(31:00):
And the other thing is, youknow, if you look at children,
yeah, especially like riding a bike,they'll just keep on falling down,
getting back up, falling down, gettingback up, falling down, getting back up.
Maybe they'll cry, maybe they'll getfrustrated, but they'll keep on going.
Yeah.
(31:23):
And as a child when you werelearning to walk or crawl,
you didn't quit because youdidn't get it the first few times.
Why would you do that as an adult?
And finally,
when you're starting something new.
(31:48):
You don't beat yourself up 'causeyou don't get it the first time or
the second time or the third time.
And you also give yourselfspace as you're learning.
So maybe get familiar with that and bringthat into all the stuff you know too.
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
(32:11):
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
Today I want to talkabout beginner's mind.
(00:45):
And sometimes it's easier to tell a story,then try to explain what you're saying.
'cause have you heard of beginner's Mind?
You know, it sounds likesomebody who doesn't know a
lot who's just getting started
(01:07):
in the whole thing.
But the truth is, beginner'smind is an attitude rather
than, um, a state of experience.
And the best way to describe Inners innermind is to tell this Z Buddhist story.
So this very, very wise scholar, uh,sought out this Zen Buddhist master and
(01:31):
he came to the persons this Buddhistmaster's hut, and he sat down and he
started telling the Buddhist mastersstory of all the things he'd studied
and all the religions he studiedand all the intellect and science.
And he went on and on and on.
And the Zen Buddhist masterjust sat there and listened and
nodded his head and listened.
(01:53):
And in the end, the scholar said,I've come to learn from you.
And the Zen Buddhist minister had handedhim a tea cup and started pouring tea.
He didn't say a word, and he kepton pouring and pouring and pouring.
And then the tea startedspilling over the cup.
(02:15):
And the scholar said,wait, sir. Stop, stop.
You're, you're, you're pouringall the tea outta the cup.
And the Zen Buddhist masters said tohim, simply, your cup is al already full.
How will you have any space to learnanything that I have to teach you?
(02:37):
Interesting.
Eh,
you know, it seems like in the west andin an intellectual society we live in.
It, the amount of intellect,you know, um, is incredibly
valuable and is highly prized.
(03:00):
Like how much you know about a topicis the most important thing there is,
but I don't know.
I've said it before.
I'll say it again.
Anything, you know,
for a fact.
About yourself, about life,about any subject that you
(03:25):
are looking at or studying orlearning limits you to that fact.
But now I'll add that if you know so muchabout something, there really isn't a
lot of room left to add anything to it.
So this is why we talkabout beginner's mind.
(03:46):
Our beginner's mindset because a true,you know, a true internal advocate or
advocate for learning or for life, orfor pursuit or excellence, or working
towards something being extraordinary,we create space to learn more.
(04:12):
So no matter how much you know, there's.
More to learn.
I, I feel like in a sense, somebody withimposter syndrome is somebody with, Hmm.
It could end up being adysfunctional beginner's mind.
(04:33):
Have you ever heard, and maybe you'llrecognize this when I say it, it's like,
'cause this, this is me in a nutshell.
Um, I.
I have have found in my life thatevery time I learn something new, like
I open up one new door on the other,that side of that is six new doors.
(04:59):
So it's the idea I learn somethingnew and then there's so many other
things to learn around that thing.
And then if I open each of thosestores, there's six more and so on
and so on and so on to the point.
Where I start to realize that what Iknow compared to all the knowledge in the
world about that subject, I know nothing.
(05:22):
I know, absolutely.
I know less than nothing,
and that can become dysfunctionalif you're sitting in this overwhelm
of all there is to know aboutsomething and understanding
how little you know about it,
but.
If you take a look at children,
(05:46):
like they've learned to play and they'revery interested, like if you've ever
been around a really young child whojust keeps on asking questions and like
they keep on going, why and why And that,and then why, and Oh yeah, and, and why.
And why and why, and they're justlike seeking knowledge, right?
(06:09):
And they typically don't getcompletely overwhelmed or, or really
upset about the mass amount of, ofknowledge there is, but they're very
intrigued and they're very joyful.
And they have open hearts and open minds.
(06:32):
You know, the interest.
There's, there's so manyinteresting things about children.
Like if you think about beginner's mind.
Like when, when an adult falls downor fails, they're like, oh, woe is me.
This means like I'm gonna fail forever.
And like, oh, this is so terrible.
And like I fell down so many timesand now I've fallen down again.
(06:53):
I'll never make it.
And a child falls down and theycry, and then five minutes later
it's all gone and they're up andbouncing around having fun again.
You see, 'cause children don't, aren'tweighted down with all the, the knowledge
(07:14):
and the thoughts and, you know, maymaybe the internal dialogue and the
internal critic isn't really powerful yet.
It children are just, they'rea blank page in an open book
and they're out there learning,
you know.
(07:35):
I, I feel like a be beginner's mind alsoisn't weighted down with all this thoughts
that like, you know, you gotta be tough.
You can't show emotion.
And children now they just feel what theyfeel when they're feeling it and they
feel their way all the way through it.
And it takes a, it, it's reallycompared to the average, it's pretty
(07:55):
quick that they get over things.
'cause that's what abeginner's mind would be.
It's like, yeah, you, you.
You, you know, you think,think of it this way.
I, I remember this like,
nowadays, if we're trying to tr learnsomething new and we, and we keep on
(08:18):
failing four or 5, 6, 7 times there, therecomes a point where we go, okay, I quit.
I'm never gonna get this.
But what would happen if a child.
You know, trying to walk, trying to walk.
5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Ah, screw it.
I'm not gonna try it anymore.
I quit.
I'm just not gonna walk.
(08:40):
See, they're not weighteddown by a future, right?
I feel like beginner's mindlives in the present, right?
Like child falls down, laughs get backup, falls down, cries, gets back up,
and they just keep on doing it over andover and over, and over and over again.
(09:01):
You know, I think that's oneaspect of beginner's mind that
could really change our lives.
If we realize that failure doesn'tmean anything unless we make it mean
something, like, listen, literallynothing inherently means anything
until we place some meaning on it,
(09:22):
and you actually have the choice,the meaning you put on it.
You could like fail and say, oh, well,I'm just no good at this, so I quit.
Or You can fail at, fail at this,and you're like, I'm gonna get this.
Like, I'm just gonna keepon trying till I get it.
I,
(09:45):
I feel like some of the most incrediblepeople I've met in this world
have this attitude that, you know,
when it gets hard.
That's when I go in,that's when I push hard.
I saw this quote that some peoplequit because it's hard and some
people start because of it's hard.
(10:05):
And that's kind of the idea of,
you know, one, one set of peoplewill realize, will, you know, may
make it mean that it, it's too hard.
I can't do it.
And the other set ofpeople will like, wow.
It's, it's hard.
It is hard, but then there's, youknow, it's going to, it's gonna
(10:29):
build strength in me or wow, it's achallenge and I'm ready for a challenge.
It's like, how is life?
How would life be just sitting on acouch, not doing anything, basically
giving up, just existing, just taking upspace until you breathe your last breath.
What does that life look like?
Or how about a life where you meetchallenges and you fall down, you
(10:55):
get back up, you get bruised, you getdented, you get, you get scarred up.
But like, you just don't makethat mean something negative.
Like,
you know, they say, there's aChinese proverb that says, without
struggle, there's no progress.
(11:18):
So it's literally the hardstuff that moves you forward.
It's not the hard stuffthat holds you back.
It's the hard stuffthat moves you forward.
You know, no matter where you're at inlife, no matter how much you've learned,
no matter how great you are at something,there's always, always more to learn.
(11:44):
But if your cup is so full that there'sno room for somebody to pour into you
that no one can teach you,
do you want to spend a lifelimited by what you know
or do you want to be spending this life
(12:08):
learning more?
And more
because I honestly think the most,
the thing that takes this wind out of oursails the most is becoming complacent.
Um, giving up, living a mediocrelife, not having goals to reach for.
(12:36):
I'm thinking we know it all somuch that nobody can add to that.
I feel like life is actually given to us
by the challenges we overcome.
(12:58):
And yeah, I mean, one of the, one of thebiggest identifiers and this, this is the.
Yeah, this is probably the one thingthat I have learned on this planet is
that I have this ego sense of identityinner critic in me, and it was developed
(13:18):
for really good intentions, right?
Um, my inner critic, my identity, my egowas developed in order to keep me safe.
And in order to keep me from beingharmed, and it has this box, it knows and
(13:38):
it creates, this is who I am and it's,it's like literally I am in this box.
I am confined to this much, andif I ever step out of that box,
then there's the risk of harm,the risk of being embarrassed or.
(14:00):
Or getting something wrong or failingor even like getting injured or hurt.
And it all comes from moments in lifewhere, you know, you stepped out too far.
My inner critic, my ego, my senseof identity was created in the
moments where I kind of steppedoutside of who I thought I was.
(14:27):
With an incredible amount of expression.
And then somebody said, what a loser.
And I heard that, what an idiot.
And then my inner critic
would parrot that over and over again.
Anytime I tried to step into somekind of expression in front of people,
(14:49):
all I'd hear is, you're a loser.
You're a loser.
What an idiot.
You suck over and over again.
I just hear that.
And it would bring me back to thatfear of that moment of being completely
embarrassed, being about 12 or 13years old when it's so important.
Uh, looking good andfitting in is so important.
(15:10):
And I realized how I didn't,and I connected to that to me,
going with some really incredibleexpression, self-expression,
outside the box expression.
And that inner critic inside mesense of identity said, never
gonna let that happen again.
(15:32):
And then I spent a whole bunch of my life
knowing so much that I would nevergo into self-expression expression,
because I knew if I go intoself-expression, that's embarrassment.
That's not being connected.
(15:52):
Not being, not fitting in.
That's a loser, an idiot.
And it wasn't until I realized howconfining, knowing this, knowing
that if I step, step outside of my,my small level of self-expression,
(16:18):
I had to step outside ofthe fact that that meant.
You know that I was gonna beembarrassed or hurt or not fit in or
all that, and I had to practice doingthings in a small way, progressive
progressively expressing myself tothe point where I would be embarrassed
(16:40):
and feeling what that feels like andfeeling like I could survive that.
And then over time, I was able to get.
Make bigger and bigger forms ofexpression and not worry about whatever.
It's like really, I, I started goingback to beginner's mind where I wasn't
that worried what people were thinkinganymore because I don't even know
(17:02):
what they're thinking and how do Iknow that what they're thinking is not
transference, it's not them putting whatthey would feel in that moment on me.
Maybe it's just their limitationssaying, oh, man, if I did that, oh,
so I'm gonna point at them and saysomething, but I've got the rest
of my fingers pointing back at me.
(17:27):
And then over time, learning so muchabout different things and thinking
I, I knew it all, and finding out ifI could step back and just listen.
That I had a lot to learn, you know, in mywork right now, like I said, I, I've got
imposter syndrome and it's like every timeI learn something new, I notice there's,
(17:53):
there's six other things to learn now.
So the more I learn, the more there isto know and to the point where I realized
I just don't know anything comparedto the amount of knowledge out there.
And then I have to go back tobeginner's mind and trust that
what I'm doing is helping.
(18:15):
And yes, because I have beginner's mind,even though I see something going on
and I've got a strong suspicion thatis a certain thing, I'm gonna test it
really well to make sure I'm right.
But I, the, how I learned how I workto make sure I'm right now is I try
my darnedest to prove I'm wrong first.
(18:39):
Like I figure, I feel like that could beBen Gunner's mind too is like you have
an assumption, and in order to make surethat you're not stuck in some confirmation
bias and confirmation bias is simple.
It's like confirmation biaswhen you have this assumption or
this hypothesis or this belief.
That's so strong that all you'll seek outis everything to confirm what you believe,
(19:06):
what your hypothesis, what your assumptionis, and you'll, you'll only focus on
everything that confirms it, and thenanything that denies it, you'll ignore.
So confirmation bias is also, I believeit's the opposite of beginner's mind.
(19:27):
Because when I learned aboutcon confirmation bias, I decided
that for now on every time I havean assumption, I'm gonna try to
prove my assumption wrong first.
And I'm gonna try really hard and giveit an honest effort to prove it wrong.
And if I prove it wrong, great.
And if I can't prove it wrong,then it must be right, and
then I'll move down that path.
(19:52):
Yeah.
Have you ever heard, whenyou make an assumption, you
make an ass outta you and me?
Assume,
you know, if
I, I think like living in a beginner'smind is almost an act of faith.
(20:17):
So for instance, like right now doingthis podcast, talking about this, I
have to enter beginner's mind to do thisbecause if I go with what I know, with
what I'm full of, I mean, if I go with theresults up to now of what I've been doing
with this podcast and working in thisdirection, if I sat in that I would quit.
(20:42):
I would stop recording.
Because there's so much that I knowthat I'm not doing well enough, and if
I sat there knowing for sure that I'mnever really gonna make it with this
and I'm never gonna really make, make abig difference with this, I would quit.
(21:04):
I wouldn't even try.
And I think if you knew too much,any pursuit that you were up against.
If you know too much, you'reprobably gonna quit, and then you're
gonna miss out on some of the mostextraordinary moments of your life.
(21:24):
You have to give upwhat you think you know,
and you just have to go and try.
That's beginner's mind like.
I rem, there was an AlbertEinstein quote was like, like
(21:45):
everybody, everybody knew it wasimpossible until the fool that did not
know it was impossible went and did it.
I am willing in this life tobe a fool to live in beginner's
mind, to just keep on trying.
(22:10):
To have the chance
of doing something that partof me knows will never happen.
I,
I can't sit in that knowing mind.
I just can't, I don't wannaknow that I'm not successful.
(22:33):
I don't wanna know that I, I'llnever be financially abundant.
I, I don't wanna know that.
I'll never really havethe impact on this planet.
I wanna sit in the beginner'smind that like, I, I don't know.
I don't know if I can, becauseon the other side of, I don't
(22:53):
know, I can is also, I don't know.
I can't, and I'm just gonna try.
I'm just gonna keep on opening mymind and every time the inner critic
says, oh, you're not good enough.
You're never gonna make it, uh,blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
I'm just gonna get back up and try.
(23:14):
Because honestly, if you're really, thinkabout it, if you really take on something
new, if you're really in beginner'smind with something new and you're
not like crushing it out of the park.
You give.
You have this internal advocatethat's giving you all this space.
It's okay, you're just starting.
Come on, let's go.
Or you have external ag advocates who aresaying that to you, Hey, no, it's okay.
(23:38):
Get back up.
Try again.
Let's go.
It's okay.
You're just learning.
You're learning.
You're getting there.
You've got all this space to learn.
Keep on going.
So if you look at that
and then maybe.
Think about maybe you're in somethingright now, something that you're pretty
(24:03):
damn good at, that you've been prettydamn successful at, but you're stuck
at a plateau, or you want to take itto an extreme level, and yet you're in
this cycle of not quite moving forwardor not moving forward fast enough,
and you feel kind of stuck in that cycle.
(24:26):
And maybe once in a while somebody givesyou advice, you're like, yeah, yeah, yeah.
I know that
Maybe this is the time tolike kind of shift the mindset
and maybe incorporate maybe, I don'tknow as much as I think I know,
(24:51):
and maybe it's time to likesit down with somebody else.
Who sees it from a differentperspective and talk to them
and like with an open mind here, likethe truth is, some of it, some of
it you're gonna know for sure 'causeyou've been down that path, right?
And there's certain things and you,you do probably know your body better
(25:13):
than anybody else and a lot of things.
But if you can actually open your mind.
Approach things with an open mind.
It's like
somebody might just say, if youhave an open mind and you're really
(25:34):
listening, somebody might just saysomething just a little bit different
from the way you've ever heardit before, and that might shift.
It's like, for me, I've lived in.
My head, my whole life, and I have hadan internal critic in there my whole
(26:01):
life, and I've learned how to deal withit, how to ignore it, how to fight.
It did,
and.
And then one day somebody popped intomy space and they were like, we're
(26:25):
working with a mental performance person.
And I, I've been workingwith my, like my brain a lot.
One of the episodes was like,the brain will try to give
up long before the body does.
I've been working with this and likemy internal critic would come in like.
It would, it would, it would chirpat me, oh, this, it's too hard.
(26:46):
You can't do it.
You can't do it.
And then one morning I'm like goingin the same place and heading for this
hill, and I suddenly hear this positivevoice comes, keep going, you got this.
I'm like, what the hell was that?
And then shortly later,this athlete comes in.
They've been talking to a mentalperformance person and they go.
Yeah, I, they, they were telling me,we were talking about the internal
(27:08):
critic and, you know, internal critic.
I got that.
I know that like, got that I, Iget the inner voice stuff, but
my, my brain's open right now.
And then they were like, and then theysaid, what about the internal advocate?
And I'm like, what?
Tell me more.
(27:32):
You ever notice when some realtruth shows up in your space?
You get chills.
I got chills when I heard that word.
It was suddenly that positivevoice, that one that was arguing
with the internal critic, the onethat was actually intentionally
created by myself internally.
To deal with that negative thoughtpattern, rather than grabbing on that
(27:56):
thinking, that's me, and trying to bethat, or like trying to encourage that.
I have this other voice that'slike, no, no, no, that's not true.
And suddenly it become automaticand suddenly I gotta, I
gotta name, I can name this.
This is my internal advocate.
And it's cool because I'm totallybeginner's mind with the internal
(28:17):
advocate, like, whoa, cool.
How do I play?
How can I play with this?
Like, how can I create this?
How can I be this?
You know, I've said it before.
I'll say it again.
Anything you know, to be afact of yourself limits you.
(28:38):
That fact.
Anything you know about life, any beliefyou have, it limits you to these beliefs.
And when you fill yourself up so much withthis information and belief and you, you
hold onto it so tightly and you have thiscup that's completely full, you really
(29:03):
don't have a lot of room for anything new.
Until you approach beginner's mind,
you know, a beginner's mindwould doubt the fear, you know?
Doubt the fear.
(29:25):
It would doubt the limitation.
It would doubt the negative beliefs.
It's like, well, I don'tknow if that's true.
I'm just gonna try.
Like, I'm not smart enough to knowthat I will never make it to whatever.
Maybe, yeah, maybe I'm not, maybe I'm not.
I'm too simple to understandthat, you know, nobody from North
(29:48):
America can take a running record.
I'm just like a little too simple tounderstand that, so I'm just gonna try.
I'm just gonna go for it.
Who knows?
I, I feel like
creating beginner's mind couldalmost be one of the first step to
(30:12):
inner advocacy, to like looseningyour, your hold on, your beliefs,
loosening your, hold on, who youthink you know yourself to be.
And just going out inthe world and playing
(30:32):
beginner's mind doesn't take what'sgoing on right now or tomorrow or the
next day, or like the things that's beengoing on for three years and keep on
throwing it into the future and usingthat to make them believe that they can't.
They just get out there and play.
I honestly think the beginner'smind is a great place to start.
(31:00):
And the other thing is, youknow, if you look at children,
yeah, especially like riding a bike,they'll just keep on falling down,
getting back up, falling down, gettingback up, falling down, getting back up.
Maybe they'll cry, maybe they'll getfrustrated, but they'll keep on going.
Yeah.
(31:23):
And as a child when you werelearning to walk or crawl,
you didn't quit because youdidn't get it the first few times.
Why would you do that as an adult?
And finally,
when you're starting something new.
(31:48):
You don't beat yourself up 'causeyou don't get it the first time or
the second time or the third time.
And you also give yourselfspace as you're learning.
So maybe get familiar with that and bringthat into all the stuff you know too.
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
(32:11):
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
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