July 22, 2025 • 27 mins
Episode 95: Reframing Perspectives: From Concept to Practice to Being the Reframe
In this episode of 'Your Inner Advocate,' host Kimen Petersen delves into the concept of reframing—shifting your perspective to view challenges as opportunities. Drawing from personal stories and experiences, Kimen emphasizes the importance of living the reframe, not just understanding it intellectually. The episode discusses how reframing can transform difficulties into strengths, offers insights from working with athletes, and explores the power of hard work and resilience. Listeners are encouraged to nurture their inner advocate, trust their inner wisdom, and embrace life's lessons with clarity and fulfillment.
00:00 Introduction to Your Inner Advocate
00:52 Understanding and Living the Reframe
05:36 Connecting the Dots: Real-Life Examples
12:19 Personal Stories of Reframing
19:15 The Power of Hard Work and Reframing
26:53 Conclusion and Final Thoughts
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
(00:46):
Welcome back.
In this episode, I want to talk aboutnot just conceptualizing reframing,
but living the reframeand being the reframe.
(01:10):
I've heard it said that
as we're, we're called human beings,not human doings, and yet we get
stuck in this process of justdoing, doing, doing, doing, doing,
doing, doing, doing, doing, doing.
(01:30):
And we miss out on themoments that we could just be.
And if you wanna understandwhat reframing is,
this is one of the greatesttechniques I've ever found in my
life because they say if you changethe way you look at things, the
(01:53):
things you look at will change.
And what they're kind of saying I think isreality isn't a constant or a solid, but
it's really based on perspective, right?
One human could look, look attheir really, really tough, tough
(02:14):
day and say, I'm just unlucky.
Another person can go.
Is that all you got?
Universe, bring it on.
I'm tough.
And another person could go, yeah,this is hard, but you know what?
(02:35):
I eat hard for breakfast and thishard, like an athlete, working
hard knows that hard is what buildsstrength, what builds resilience.
It's in the overcoming of things.
(02:55):
That's where the strength is, is developedand built and, you know, another human
being or like myself, um, through myyouth, a lot of things didn't go my
way, and some of it was pretty bad
and I didn't fit in, and my internaldialogue was really, really cruel.
(03:16):
I suffered depression throughmy teens and twenties.
And I was like, oh, woeis me for so many years.
I'm so hard.
I'm just not good enough.
'cause if I was good enough, allthese bad things wouldn't happen.
If I was smart enough, if I was coolenough, or if if I wasn't useless or
(03:37):
like all this stuff, that was the frame.
I had it, that all thesethings happening to me meant x.
And the truth is in life, and oneof the greatest reframes you can
create, you, you can create isnothing inherently means anything
(04:00):
until you place a meaning on it.
Then it has meaning, but only when you,you have the power, if you could reframe
that life is not happening to you.
But it's happening for you.
Imagine the difference.
(04:22):
You're sitting here realizing that
all these things that are happeningare helping develop certain
skills in order for you to learn
to develop the strength and theresilience to make it in the things that
are the most important thing to you.
(04:44):
And that like when one thingdoesn't work out, it's actually
not rejection, it's redirection.
You know, one of my favorite quotesrecently is Life has three answers
to any question you give it, right?
(05:05):
The first answer is yes.
Right now.
Let's go.
The second one is not, not, not yet.
Not yet.
Hold on, hold on.
Not yet.
Hold on.
Patience, patience, trust.
And the third one and the good,the greatest one is I have
(05:25):
something so much better for you,
you know.
I think reframing alsoincludes connecting the dots.
Right?
You know, there's anathlete that I work with who
(05:49):
was working in a, like,it's an incredible athlete.
First off, I love incredible athletes'cause they're so driven, yet they're not.
Like that whole drive an athletehave, it pushes them and they're
never, they never, they're alwaysgrasping for more, so they feel like
they've, they've never quite got there.
(06:09):
And even if they do have an amazingday, there's like, well, I could have
done better or could have done this.
Or, but this athlete like was workingon moving in a certain direction
and, and they, they basically, itlooked like they got rejected twice.
And that's what it wouldlook like from the outside.
(06:30):
'cause Inten incredibly gifted.
Uh, incredibly athletic.
Incredibly intelligent, um, likewell-spoken, very emotionally mature,
um, and they just weren't able toget into the program they wanted to.
(06:55):
And.
You know, on the surfaceit looks like rejection.
Like, no, that's not for you.
But if you dive down a little bit,
like they really wanted to do thiscertain things, so they decided
that they would look outside of
(07:20):
where they were to see couldthey make it work somewhere else.
And they gotten a hold of aprogram that's half a world away,
and they were, they were talkingto the person in this program.
They said, well, yeah, but your program,it's like, you only have one of this.
(07:40):
Course it, but you needtwo for this program.
And they were like, oh.
I did kind of take a secondone as a, as an elective.
It is like, so now youstart connecting the dots.
It didn't work.
It didn't work.
(08:00):
Oh wait a minute.
We go back and connect this dot thatlike, oh, actually took an extra
course here, which is actually part ofthe prerequisite for this other Wow.
Connecting the dots.
So like the first kick at the can that gotright into this program and yeah, like.
(08:21):
They're gonna go half aworld away chasing one dream.
But their big thing is,is their, their sport.
I was just saying to them, it's like,you know what you focus on expands
and if this travel was just aboutthat program, well life would've
(08:46):
just, the universe would've justput you in that program here.
So if you connect the dots, and I'm reallygonna be excited to see this one day.
Why did you get senthalfway around the world?
Who or what is there for you?
(09:08):
Amazing for your big thing?
Because like you could have justdone the one thing here, no problem.
But the universe is takingyou half a world away.
So why is it doing that?
I also said to this person, it's like,
(09:29):
you know, you're gonna be standingon the line at the Olympics going,
ah, now the dots are connected,
you know, connecting the dots.
It's a part of a reframe, right?
It is like sometimes you can't understandwhy all these things are happening.
(09:56):
Now, another athlete, I have
gone through a lot of really tough stuff.
A, a number of injuries in a row,really taken them out of their sport
for a considerable amount of time,
but out of.
All the people I work with,this person has developed
(10:18):
this ability to reframe that.
It's like, like, it's likewow, always inspires me.
This person is very modest aboutwho they are in the planet.
They're modest about whothey are in their sport.
(10:41):
They're, they're even modest about theirability to like reframe things now,
and they try to give away thecredit for that sometimes.
But like, what you don't understand islike all the information is out there,
um, but your willingness to take thatinformation and put it into practice.
(11:06):
That's on you, that's onyour, that's your success.
'cause you could, you, we have a choice.
We always have a choice.
We can hear somethingand we can ignore it.
We can hear something and we can pretendto listen to it, and we can deny it
and judge it, or we can hear something.
(11:31):
And intellectualize it and bring it intothe thought process and then build it
into her life and start, start living it.
And then one day you justbecome your being the reframe.
And that's what this person is doing.
(11:53):
And do they have bad days?
Of course they do.
I have bad days.
I've, I've been, I meet 'em 57years on this planet, and I still
struggle with an internal dialogue.
That's pretty mean at times.
I just don't spend muchtime there anymore.
Every once in a while it comes up and I,I find myself indulging it for a moment
and it's like, and then I shift, go back.
(12:19):
I mean, literally I've been, I'vebeen really, really loving, uh,
working with running and decidedto, you know, if I really wanna
do this, I should do it right.
And like, I always talkabout doing things right.
So I got a coach and, and, uh, andtrained for my first half marathon,
(12:40):
and I, I hit my goal and yeah, I guess.
I'm, I'm just loving it so much thatI am pushing and I was more tired than
I should be, and my first two workoutsdidn't go so great and I went out for
(13:03):
a run about three or four days ago andI was exhausted and my right hip hurt.
And I caught the edge of asidewalk and I wiped out.
And in that wipe out to make sure I didn'thit my head, I guess I really pushed
(13:23):
off with my left leg and there was pain
and it was, I mean, you ever,you ever know you're gonna fall
that you're like, oh, you know.
Explanative,
and then you do everything you can tomake sure the way you fall is not as bad.
(13:44):
So, yeah, I'm, I'm scraped up.
I didn't hit my head.
Kind of strained, strainedmy tricep, strained my pack.
Um, but I did a significantstrain in my left hamstring,
and I wasn't sure that itwas a strain for for sure.
Until I got my wife to take a look atit today, and the bruising's coming up
(14:06):
in, in the o upper part of my hamstring.
So guaranteed there's a, there'sa significant hamstring strain.
And so now I'm, I'm outta training.
I, I was going, I was ready, gettingready to go after my 5,000 time trial.
And I have this really cool group of humanbeings that are gonna show up for me.
(14:30):
So that's not gonna happen yet.
So I've been really working on reframingthings this week, you know, reframing.
Okay.
So I've got a lot to learn.
Yeah, it, it's really cool to beexcited about things, but it's also
really cool to like rest your bodyenough so you can actually do things
(14:52):
and ensure that you don't go over andlike, take yourself past that point.
And I'm getting a minute to slow down
and feel good about life.
And like I I, I've always told people,one of my, one of my favorite reframes is
(15:17):
when something really doesn't go right,
then you need to open youreyes and start looking for.
You know what amazing thingshows up in your life?
What amazing thing shows up in your life?
(15:40):
Because you can't do the thing right now.
And so often I hear these great stories,like one of my athletes that they were.
They had to take a week off runningand they were afraid that it was
gonna just blow up their season andthey were never going to make it.
And then we were talking and itturns out that the last season, they
(16:02):
peaked too early and this, and Iwas like, what if this causes your
peak to be in the perfect place?
And guess what it did?
You see the, the cool thing aboutreframing is maybe, you know,
maybe it is changing something.
Maybe it's not changing something.
Maybe it's just changingthe way you look at things.
(16:22):
But regardless, it does help with anxietyand stress and worry and nervousness.
And then there's this shot.
You got this chance.
To see that maybe it's notrejection, maybe it's redirection.
(16:45):
Maybe there are amazingthings coming because of
maybe some of my athletes that arehaving a rough time right now are
having a rough time because it'sstill the first year of a quad.
Now a quad is the firstyear of a four year cycle.
Olympic cycle.
Maybe they're getting all theproblems out of the way right now,
(17:06):
so they, after that, they're gonnahave two years of pure training.
Like my one athlete that I was saying,who's so amazing at reframing now, I,
I was saying literally I'm gonna bewatching the start line at the Olympics
and there's gonna be tears running downmy face when I see them on that line.
(17:31):
Because that's who they areand that's where they're going.
And that's just how it is.
You see learning something,understanding it conceptually
is the first level.
(17:52):
And I feel like this is where the internaladvocate, the internal advocate, is like
really listening and trying to learn howto do something and intellectualizing
it and conceptualizing it.
But I think, um, Sid Hart got of theBuddha said it best when he said,
(18:15):
he said believe nothing.
He said, believe nothing.
Believe nothing you hear,believe nothing you see.
Believe nothing you read.
And he said, even don't believeanything that comes outta my mouth
until you've tried it for yourselfand you have experiential knowledge,
(18:38):
and experiential knowledge iswhen you start living it and
you see the fruit of your labor.
Because
if you, you know, have you heard of likeaffirmations and like, I, I don't want
(18:59):
to be against people who do affirmations.
I think, I think they can be amazingin certain ways and I think they can
be kind of misguided in other ways.
And like for me, I learned that.
Um, 'cause I, I had this,this, this belief, and I, I'll
(19:20):
call it a crap cake, right?
I had a crap cake and my crap cakewas full of, I'm stupid, I'm useless.
I'm not good enough.
Over and over and over again,intellectually, just stupid.
I'm not smart.
I'm not good enough.
(19:41):
I'm useless.
And that's where I sat with education.
And if I was to take that andsay, I'm smart enough, I'm not.
I, I'm used, I'm useful and,and I'm, I'm good enough.
And just repeated thatover and over again.
(20:02):
To me, that's like putting like a reallysweet, delicious icing on my crap.
Cake on the surface isgood, but underneath.
It's, there's still that underlyingbelief that I can't accomplish.
So my reframe for that was like,kind of change the words a bit
(20:22):
because like, I don't feel likethose words are very helpful.
I, and it was like, Hey, you know what?
I, I dug into my life and what'ssomething I really know about myself?
Or have a super strong impression.
Something I have experientialknowledge of in my life, and it's
(20:44):
like I have experiential knowledge ofme being one of the hardest workers.
I know I would everywhere.
I used to work.
I used to work circles around each other.
In fact, I got in trouble many timesin my life for working too hard.
You're making us look bad, andit's like, well, you know what?
This is how I find my joyin my life by working hard.
That's where it is.
(21:04):
I'm not afraid of hard work.
I am also not afraid ofdoing things the hard way.
It's like, seems like sometimes it'sthe only way I learn, but I digress.
Uh,
so rather than coming at all that I'museless, I'm, I'm not good enough.
(21:27):
I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, all thatstuff, rather than coming straight
on with it, with the opposite,what I realized is I can actually
battle that in using experientialknowledge and what I came up with.
Hey, I may not be intellectually gifted,
(21:48):
but nobody can, will or has everworked as hard as I will at this.
I will work so hard
that it doesn't matter howintellectually gifted I am, I
will blow that out of the wa.
That won't even be a factor.
(22:09):
'cause you know what?
All things can be achievedthrough hard work.
And that was my reframe.
I think my best score in high school.
In, uh, English was like a C minus, andin the course I took coming from, I'm
(22:32):
the hardest worker, I'll just work hard.
I averaged 91% through the wholeprogram, through the five terms,
got on the honor roll every term,and I was the valedictorian in the
end, and I've never been that guy.
And how could I, if I'm comingfrom this place, this frame
(22:53):
that I'm stupid, I'm an idiot.
I'm not good enough.
It, it would be impossible ifI'm coming from that frame.
But if I'm coming from the framethat, Hey, I'm the hardest worker you
ever met, and I'll work so hard, itdoesn't even matter if that's true.
(23:14):
See?
I took the reframe
and then I started living it
and I became it.
And now in my life, Iam being the reframe.
It's just who I'm being.
(23:36):
I know what I know,
and I don't know what I don't know.
And I know there's ahell of a lot to learn,
but I have enough and I'm willingto work really hard to know more.
(23:58):
And that's being the reframe.
And when you're being the reframe,it's okay to fall down, make a mistake.
And because you just get backup and you work harder, you
just keep on getting back up.
(24:18):
No matter what happens, I getknocked down, I get up again,
and I just keep on doing that.
Every time I fall down,I get up one more time
and eventually that hard work.
It takes me all the way to my success
(24:48):
and then I race the bar.
So learn to reframe, conceptualize,
learn it intellectually.
Use your internal advocate to liketo repeat it over and over again.
(25:12):
When the critic comes at you,
start moving through life
in that way.
Start living the reframe.
And then one day you just wake upand you're just being the reframe.
(25:35):
It becomes automatic
like plant the seed,
water, the seed,
protect that little bitof growth as it's growing
weed around it.
Keep on strengthening it, watch it grow.
(25:57):
As it grows, you don't have tospend so much time tending to it.
And when it grows tallenough, strong enough,
you can rest in the shade ofthe tree that you planted.
(26:18):
'cause you knew intellectually,
conceptually.
That that reframe was the thing,and then you started living it.
And in living it, you protected it andyou watered it and you kept it safe from
predators, especially your inner critic.
(26:42):
And as it grew and grew,
at some point you juststarted being the reframe.
And that's the secret
to inner advocacy.
(27:04):
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
(27:28):
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
Okay.
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
(00:46):
Welcome back.
In this episode, I want to talk aboutnot just conceptualizing reframing,
but living the reframeand being the reframe.
(01:10):
I've heard it said that
as we're, we're called human beings,not human doings, and yet we get
stuck in this process of justdoing, doing, doing, doing, doing,
doing, doing, doing, doing, doing.
(01:30):
And we miss out on themoments that we could just be.
And if you wanna understandwhat reframing is,
this is one of the greatesttechniques I've ever found in my
life because they say if you changethe way you look at things, the
(01:53):
things you look at will change.
And what they're kind of saying I think isreality isn't a constant or a solid, but
it's really based on perspective, right?
One human could look, look attheir really, really tough, tough
(02:14):
day and say, I'm just unlucky.
Another person can go.
Is that all you got?
Universe, bring it on.
I'm tough.
And another person could go, yeah,this is hard, but you know what?
(02:35):
I eat hard for breakfast and thishard, like an athlete, working
hard knows that hard is what buildsstrength, what builds resilience.
It's in the overcoming of things.
(02:55):
That's where the strength is, is developedand built and, you know, another human
being or like myself, um, through myyouth, a lot of things didn't go my
way, and some of it was pretty bad
and I didn't fit in, and my internaldialogue was really, really cruel.
(03:16):
I suffered depression throughmy teens and twenties.
And I was like, oh, woeis me for so many years.
I'm so hard.
I'm just not good enough.
'cause if I was good enough, allthese bad things wouldn't happen.
If I was smart enough, if I was coolenough, or if if I wasn't useless or
(03:37):
like all this stuff, that was the frame.
I had it, that all thesethings happening to me meant x.
And the truth is in life, and oneof the greatest reframes you can
create, you, you can create isnothing inherently means anything
(04:00):
until you place a meaning on it.
Then it has meaning, but only when you,you have the power, if you could reframe
that life is not happening to you.
But it's happening for you.
Imagine the difference.
(04:22):
You're sitting here realizing that
all these things that are happeningare helping develop certain
skills in order for you to learn
to develop the strength and theresilience to make it in the things that
are the most important thing to you.
(04:44):
And that like when one thingdoesn't work out, it's actually
not rejection, it's redirection.
You know, one of my favorite quotesrecently is Life has three answers
to any question you give it, right?
(05:05):
The first answer is yes.
Right now.
Let's go.
The second one is not, not, not yet.
Not yet.
Hold on, hold on.
Not yet.
Hold on.
Patience, patience, trust.
And the third one and the good,the greatest one is I have
(05:25):
something so much better for you,
you know.
I think reframing alsoincludes connecting the dots.
Right?
You know, there's anathlete that I work with who
(05:49):
was working in a, like,it's an incredible athlete.
First off, I love incredible athletes'cause they're so driven, yet they're not.
Like that whole drive an athletehave, it pushes them and they're
never, they never, they're alwaysgrasping for more, so they feel like
they've, they've never quite got there.
(06:09):
And even if they do have an amazingday, there's like, well, I could have
done better or could have done this.
Or, but this athlete like was workingon moving in a certain direction
and, and they, they basically, itlooked like they got rejected twice.
And that's what it wouldlook like from the outside.
(06:30):
'cause Inten incredibly gifted.
Uh, incredibly athletic.
Incredibly intelligent, um, likewell-spoken, very emotionally mature,
um, and they just weren't able toget into the program they wanted to.
(06:55):
And.
You know, on the surfaceit looks like rejection.
Like, no, that's not for you.
But if you dive down a little bit,
like they really wanted to do thiscertain things, so they decided
that they would look outside of
(07:20):
where they were to see couldthey make it work somewhere else.
And they gotten a hold of aprogram that's half a world away,
and they were, they were talkingto the person in this program.
They said, well, yeah, but your program,it's like, you only have one of this.
(07:40):
Course it, but you needtwo for this program.
And they were like, oh.
I did kind of take a secondone as a, as an elective.
It is like, so now youstart connecting the dots.
It didn't work.
It didn't work.
(08:00):
Oh wait a minute.
We go back and connect this dot thatlike, oh, actually took an extra
course here, which is actually part ofthe prerequisite for this other Wow.
Connecting the dots.
So like the first kick at the can that gotright into this program and yeah, like.
(08:21):
They're gonna go half aworld away chasing one dream.
But their big thing is,is their, their sport.
I was just saying to them, it's like,you know what you focus on expands
and if this travel was just aboutthat program, well life would've
(08:46):
just, the universe would've justput you in that program here.
So if you connect the dots, and I'm reallygonna be excited to see this one day.
Why did you get senthalfway around the world?
Who or what is there for you?
(09:08):
Amazing for your big thing?
Because like you could have justdone the one thing here, no problem.
But the universe is takingyou half a world away.
So why is it doing that?
I also said to this person, it's like,
(09:29):
you know, you're gonna be standingon the line at the Olympics going,
ah, now the dots are connected,
you know, connecting the dots.
It's a part of a reframe, right?
It is like sometimes you can't understandwhy all these things are happening.
(09:56):
Now, another athlete, I have
gone through a lot of really tough stuff.
A, a number of injuries in a row,really taken them out of their sport
for a considerable amount of time,
but out of.
All the people I work with,this person has developed
(10:18):
this ability to reframe that.
It's like, like, it's likewow, always inspires me.
This person is very modest aboutwho they are in the planet.
They're modest about whothey are in their sport.
(10:41):
They're, they're even modest about theirability to like reframe things now,
and they try to give away thecredit for that sometimes.
But like, what you don't understand islike all the information is out there,
um, but your willingness to take thatinformation and put it into practice.
(11:06):
That's on you, that's onyour, that's your success.
'cause you could, you, we have a choice.
We always have a choice.
We can hear somethingand we can ignore it.
We can hear something and we can pretendto listen to it, and we can deny it
and judge it, or we can hear something.
(11:31):
And intellectualize it and bring it intothe thought process and then build it
into her life and start, start living it.
And then one day you justbecome your being the reframe.
And that's what this person is doing.
(11:53):
And do they have bad days?
Of course they do.
I have bad days.
I've, I've been, I meet 'em 57years on this planet, and I still
struggle with an internal dialogue.
That's pretty mean at times.
I just don't spend muchtime there anymore.
Every once in a while it comes up and I,I find myself indulging it for a moment
and it's like, and then I shift, go back.
(12:19):
I mean, literally I've been, I'vebeen really, really loving, uh,
working with running and decidedto, you know, if I really wanna
do this, I should do it right.
And like, I always talkabout doing things right.
So I got a coach and, and, uh, andtrained for my first half marathon,
(12:40):
and I, I hit my goal and yeah, I guess.
I'm, I'm just loving it so much thatI am pushing and I was more tired than
I should be, and my first two workoutsdidn't go so great and I went out for
(13:03):
a run about three or four days ago andI was exhausted and my right hip hurt.
And I caught the edge of asidewalk and I wiped out.
And in that wipe out to make sure I didn'thit my head, I guess I really pushed
(13:23):
off with my left leg and there was pain
and it was, I mean, you ever,you ever know you're gonna fall
that you're like, oh, you know.
Explanative,
and then you do everything you can tomake sure the way you fall is not as bad.
(13:44):
So, yeah, I'm, I'm scraped up.
I didn't hit my head.
Kind of strained, strainedmy tricep, strained my pack.
Um, but I did a significantstrain in my left hamstring,
and I wasn't sure that itwas a strain for for sure.
Until I got my wife to take a look atit today, and the bruising's coming up
(14:06):
in, in the o upper part of my hamstring.
So guaranteed there's a, there'sa significant hamstring strain.
And so now I'm, I'm outta training.
I, I was going, I was ready, gettingready to go after my 5,000 time trial.
And I have this really cool group of humanbeings that are gonna show up for me.
(14:30):
So that's not gonna happen yet.
So I've been really working on reframingthings this week, you know, reframing.
Okay.
So I've got a lot to learn.
Yeah, it, it's really cool to beexcited about things, but it's also
really cool to like rest your bodyenough so you can actually do things
(14:52):
and ensure that you don't go over andlike, take yourself past that point.
And I'm getting a minute to slow down
and feel good about life.
And like I I, I've always told people,one of my, one of my favorite reframes is
(15:17):
when something really doesn't go right,
then you need to open youreyes and start looking for.
You know what amazing thingshows up in your life?
What amazing thing shows up in your life?
(15:40):
Because you can't do the thing right now.
And so often I hear these great stories,like one of my athletes that they were.
They had to take a week off runningand they were afraid that it was
gonna just blow up their season andthey were never going to make it.
And then we were talking and itturns out that the last season, they
(16:02):
peaked too early and this, and Iwas like, what if this causes your
peak to be in the perfect place?
And guess what it did?
You see the, the cool thing aboutreframing is maybe, you know,
maybe it is changing something.
Maybe it's not changing something.
Maybe it's just changingthe way you look at things.
(16:22):
But regardless, it does help with anxietyand stress and worry and nervousness.
And then there's this shot.
You got this chance.
To see that maybe it's notrejection, maybe it's redirection.
(16:45):
Maybe there are amazingthings coming because of
maybe some of my athletes that arehaving a rough time right now are
having a rough time because it'sstill the first year of a quad.
Now a quad is the firstyear of a four year cycle.
Olympic cycle.
Maybe they're getting all theproblems out of the way right now,
(17:06):
so they, after that, they're gonnahave two years of pure training.
Like my one athlete that I was saying,who's so amazing at reframing now, I,
I was saying literally I'm gonna bewatching the start line at the Olympics
and there's gonna be tears running downmy face when I see them on that line.
(17:31):
Because that's who they areand that's where they're going.
And that's just how it is.
You see learning something,understanding it conceptually
is the first level.
(17:52):
And I feel like this is where the internaladvocate, the internal advocate, is like
really listening and trying to learn howto do something and intellectualizing
it and conceptualizing it.
But I think, um, Sid Hart got of theBuddha said it best when he said,
(18:15):
he said believe nothing.
He said, believe nothing.
Believe nothing you hear,believe nothing you see.
Believe nothing you read.
And he said, even don't believeanything that comes outta my mouth
until you've tried it for yourselfand you have experiential knowledge,
(18:38):
and experiential knowledge iswhen you start living it and
you see the fruit of your labor.
Because
if you, you know, have you heard of likeaffirmations and like, I, I don't want
(18:59):
to be against people who do affirmations.
I think, I think they can be amazingin certain ways and I think they can
be kind of misguided in other ways.
And like for me, I learned that.
Um, 'cause I, I had this,this, this belief, and I, I'll
(19:20):
call it a crap cake, right?
I had a crap cake and my crap cakewas full of, I'm stupid, I'm useless.
I'm not good enough.
Over and over and over again,intellectually, just stupid.
I'm not smart.
I'm not good enough.
(19:41):
I'm useless.
And that's where I sat with education.
And if I was to take that andsay, I'm smart enough, I'm not.
I, I'm used, I'm useful and,and I'm, I'm good enough.
And just repeated thatover and over again.
(20:02):
To me, that's like putting like a reallysweet, delicious icing on my crap.
Cake on the surface isgood, but underneath.
It's, there's still that underlyingbelief that I can't accomplish.
So my reframe for that was like,kind of change the words a bit
(20:22):
because like, I don't feel likethose words are very helpful.
I, and it was like, Hey, you know what?
I, I dug into my life and what'ssomething I really know about myself?
Or have a super strong impression.
Something I have experientialknowledge of in my life, and it's
(20:44):
like I have experiential knowledge ofme being one of the hardest workers.
I know I would everywhere.
I used to work.
I used to work circles around each other.
In fact, I got in trouble many timesin my life for working too hard.
You're making us look bad, andit's like, well, you know what?
This is how I find my joyin my life by working hard.
That's where it is.
(21:04):
I'm not afraid of hard work.
I am also not afraid ofdoing things the hard way.
It's like, seems like sometimes it'sthe only way I learn, but I digress.
Uh,
so rather than coming at all that I'museless, I'm, I'm not good enough.
(21:27):
I'm stupid, I'm an idiot, all thatstuff, rather than coming straight
on with it, with the opposite,what I realized is I can actually
battle that in using experientialknowledge and what I came up with.
Hey, I may not be intellectually gifted,
(21:48):
but nobody can, will or has everworked as hard as I will at this.
I will work so hard
that it doesn't matter howintellectually gifted I am, I
will blow that out of the wa.
That won't even be a factor.
(22:09):
'cause you know what?
All things can be achievedthrough hard work.
And that was my reframe.
I think my best score in high school.
In, uh, English was like a C minus, andin the course I took coming from, I'm
(22:32):
the hardest worker, I'll just work hard.
I averaged 91% through the wholeprogram, through the five terms,
got on the honor roll every term,and I was the valedictorian in the
end, and I've never been that guy.
And how could I, if I'm comingfrom this place, this frame
(22:53):
that I'm stupid, I'm an idiot.
I'm not good enough.
It, it would be impossible ifI'm coming from that frame.
But if I'm coming from the framethat, Hey, I'm the hardest worker you
ever met, and I'll work so hard, itdoesn't even matter if that's true.
(23:14):
See?
I took the reframe
and then I started living it
and I became it.
And now in my life, Iam being the reframe.
It's just who I'm being.
(23:36):
I know what I know,
and I don't know what I don't know.
And I know there's ahell of a lot to learn,
but I have enough and I'm willingto work really hard to know more.
(23:58):
And that's being the reframe.
And when you're being the reframe,it's okay to fall down, make a mistake.
And because you just get backup and you work harder, you
just keep on getting back up.
(24:18):
No matter what happens, I getknocked down, I get up again,
and I just keep on doing that.
Every time I fall down,I get up one more time
and eventually that hard work.
It takes me all the way to my success
(24:48):
and then I race the bar.
So learn to reframe, conceptualize,
learn it intellectually.
Use your internal advocate to liketo repeat it over and over again.
(25:12):
When the critic comes at you,
start moving through life
in that way.
Start living the reframe.
And then one day you just wake upand you're just being the reframe.
(25:35):
It becomes automatic
like plant the seed,
water, the seed,
protect that little bitof growth as it's growing
weed around it.
Keep on strengthening it, watch it grow.
(25:57):
As it grows, you don't have tospend so much time tending to it.
And when it grows tallenough, strong enough,
you can rest in the shade ofthe tree that you planted.
(26:18):
'cause you knew intellectually,
conceptually.
That that reframe was the thing,and then you started living it.
And in living it, you protected it andyou watered it and you kept it safe from
predators, especially your inner critic.
(26:42):
And as it grew and grew,
at some point you juststarted being the reframe.
And that's the secret
to inner advocacy.
(27:04):
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
(27:28):
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
Okay.
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