July 26, 2025 • 27 mins
Episode 96: The Irony of Life
In this episode of "Your Inner Advocate," host Kimen Petersen explores the irony of life—how we must move forward without always understanding the path, only to find meaning when we look back. Through personal stories and soulful insights, Kimen discusses reframing adversity, finding purpose in setbacks, and the importance of trusting the journey. Tune in for inspiration, practical wisdom, and encouragement to embrace life’s challenges as opportunities for growth.
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Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:02):
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
(00:47):
One of my favorite quotes, the ironyof life is it must be lived and forward,
but can only be understoodwhen you look back.
And this is kind of the thought that,I don't know, it's like a reframe.
(01:09):
What we're reframing here iswhen things don't work out.
And it looks likeeverything's falling apart.
Maybe it's falling back together ina different way, in a better way.
(01:31):
If you look back in your life,
you'll probably see thisamazing thing that I see
that anytime.
Life got so incredibly hard,
like almost impossiblesomething, or someone always
(01:54):
showed up in that last minute
just to help you through,
and some of these incrediblepeople ended up staying with you
from then on.
Some of them just showed up for a minute.
It just gave you that last little bitto make it over the edge, make it past
(02:18):
that moment, and some of them walkfor you with you for quite a while.
So this is the interestingthing about people who come
into your life in these moments.
'cause you never know, you know, are theyhere for a reason to help you through
a season, to help you move forward?
(02:41):
Or, or are they here for a lifetime?
And it's interesting when, when you losepeople from your life like that, it's
hard not to feel you're sad for the loss.
(03:03):
But I think if you could stop and youcould take a look and really appreciate.
What, what they brought intoyour life, what they created
in your life, how they helped.
You can feel sad that they're gone,
but you can also feelgrateful that they came.
(03:32):
You know, if you aresitting in a time right now.
Where things aren't aligningor things are going poorly or
not quite going the way you want,
there's some things you could ask.
Like there's a question.
It's like, why would life take methis far to only take me this far?
(04:01):
You can ask.
How many of these, how many things hadto come together to line up to get me
to this point, to get me to this day?
How many things, all these littlesynchronicities that got you to this point
(04:23):
now, if you see all this stuffthat led you to this path.
And now you've hit a roadblock.
Do you think that roadblock means you'redone or do you think it means maybe
there's something else to learn here?
It, it's fascinating the multipletimes I hear, uh, similar things,
(04:48):
how one thing doesn't go right andthen they realize that sometimes in
the past they, they'd done something.
Which creates a possibilityfor this new path that came up.
But when, when they were down theline not looking at that, they,
they didn't really consider thatthis is where they were headed.
(05:14):
You know, if you've ever heard thissaying that the universe has three
answers, or life has three answers toany question, one is yes, let's do it.
Let's go.
Number two is not yet.
And number three is I've gotsomething so much better for you.
(05:41):
I'm also thinking about if you'veever heard, when one door of
opportunity closes, another one opens.
But if we spend too much time staringat the door that just closed, we
might miss the door that just opened.
(06:03):
You see, if you could take on a practicelike kind of a reframe when something
doesn't go right, something or somethinggoes horribly wrong, if you could.
Like, open your eyes and look around andsay, Hey, you know, okay, so if that's
not the path, what is this leading me to?
What is it showing me?
What is it taking me towards?
(06:27):
Like, I know, so recentlyI had a little bit mishap.
I injured myself and it's, it's displacingall these goals that I was inspired to do.
So I'm getting some experientialknowledge of practicing this same kind
(06:49):
of reframe, and what I'm doing is I'm,I'm opening my eyes, I'm looking around
to see like, okay, what I'm really,really waiting for life to reveal
what is, what is the thing or things orpeople or what is gonna walk into my life.
(07:10):
Because suddenly there's alittle bit of space, right?
Because bad things, I don't believe badthings happen to disrupt or take away.
Sometimes bad things that make youstop for a moment come into your life
to create space for something amazing.
And can you imagine like, uh,you know, I say it all the time,
(07:33):
Albertine said it best when hesaid, what you focus on expands.
So if you're focusing on how somethingin your life is taking away from
your life about, all you're gonnasee is what's missing, what's being
taken away, what you can't do.
But if you can like consciouslywork on changing your mindset,
(07:54):
'cause honestly this is not easy.
I'm not saying I'm perfect at itbecause, I mean, I'm a little bit
up and down right now because.
You know, I'm, I'm reallyworking on the reframe.
I'm really working on the reframe,but it takes work In order to
change the way you look at things,you have to like consciously and
(08:16):
deliberately keep on the path.
You gotta keep on reminding yourself,like, open your eyes, look around.
Don't let your head go down.
Keep on going.
There is a reason, there's apurpose for this, something in this.
There's something in thisof value for your life.
And yeah, when you're going throughbad times or hard times or tough
(08:39):
times or when you're limited or whensomething gets in your path, yes,
for sure you're gonna have momentsthat you not really happy about it.
And I feel like one of the most powerfulthings you can do in this moment is feel
what you feel when you're feeling it.
(09:00):
Really, really experience it becausea lot of times we push things down and
what happens is we just keep on pushingit down, pushing it down, pushing it
down until it comes up really strong.
The other thing you need to do whenyou're feeling upset and you're feeling
like you can't really reframe thisinto a pause of light, is you need to
(09:20):
feel your way all the way through it.
Like feel the whole thing.
Feel it out.
Feel the whole thing.
Just work your way, right, all theway down the emotional path until you
get to the end, until it's all gone.
And that can mean a lot of things.
If you're frustrated, youcould stamp your feet.
If you're angry, you can go into asafe place by a beach or in a force
(09:42):
and you could yell and scream andpound your fist on your chest and
just don't do anything that hurts you
and just get it out.
And then remind yourself that everythinghappens for a reason, and that if we are
(10:02):
really focused on looking for and beingpresent for why this is going on, like
what does it bring into my life ratherthan what it is taking away from my life?
Then you'll find it
and like.
Your nervous system is gonna be a lotmore, um, calm if you're looking for
(10:28):
what things are coming, like what, whatthings are gonna come and fill that space
because you know, truly, if you, you everheard of this, the universe really does
not, or life doesn't like a void, right?
If you, if there's a void createdin your life, a space created
in your life, it'll fill up.
Now the p. Unfortunately because we have,as human beings, we're hypervigilant to
(10:53):
threat or concern and such like that,that there's a good chance we're gonna
fill it up with a negative if we don'tconsciously and purposely fill it up with
positive or potential or possibility.
So this is where the work is, right?
(11:17):
And then I'm, I'm.
Uh, as I'm moving through thinking aboutthis, I also remember the quote, Dr. Wayne
Dyer would say, living a life on purpose.
And what he meant by that, Ibelieve, is he said, living your life
intentionally, like deliberately, butalso living on the purpose of your life.
(11:46):
So.
If you could see that everything ison purpose, everything is happening
exactly how it needs to happen,
exactly when it needs to happen.
Because if it didn't need tohappen, it wouldn't, and when it
no longer has to happen, it won't.
(12:09):
So it's like the lesson will repeat.
U until you learn it.
And then once you've learnedit, you're free and you move on.
But of course after that,there's another lesson.
Like do you think, honestly, think thatif you really want to do great things
(12:31):
in this world, and one of the thingsyou need to get there is strength, do
you think life is just gonna go poof?
You're strong?
No.
What it's gonna do is it's gonnaput you in situations, really tough.
Situations where you may haveto dig into all your resources
to make it through, including
(12:55):
like looking around and asking forhelp and allowing others to others
to support you through that moment.
Yeah.
Strength doesn't come sitting on a beach.
In Thailand, drinking a Ma Thaistrength comes in those hard moments
(13:18):
right in the middle of the storm whereyou feel like you can't go on, but
there is something deep in you thathas the strength to move through this.
Overcoming isn't a passivething, it's an active thing.
(13:39):
And sometimes it's active in thesense that you actively have to
watch your thought process and youhave to like correct your negative
thought process and you have tolike lean into trust and patience
(14:01):
because you were, you weren't broughtthis far to only come this far.
And if you could take a look, if youcould start connecting the dots and
all the things that came together,
all the things that fell apart inorder to build your strength, all
the pain you went through thatcaused you suffering, you know,
(14:25):
just the fact that you are still hereis proof that the pain didn't win.
You're still standing.
You're still moving forward.
You've overcome things in thislifetime that you did not think
you had any chance to overcome,and yet you're still standing.
(14:46):
And in fact, the overcoming of thesethings is exactly what built the strength
that you need to overcome the next.
It's almost like, it'slike steps of a pyramid.
Every time you step upone more, you're stronger.
Every time you move one runghigher, you're moving closer and
closer to the goal in the dream.
(15:13):
And then you start thinkingabout the people you meet.
Like if I look back,
I look back in my life, Ilook back at all the work.
I, I did everything I wentthrough, um, all the pain.
As a child, the times I wanted to giveup, but I didn't, and I came close
(15:37):
and I, I got to this point whereI realized that when it was
really bad that I just need tohang on for one more minute.
You know, when it's really tough.
Just hang on for one more minute.
Hang on for one more hour.
Hang on for one more day.
Hang on for one more week,one more month, one more year.
(15:58):
Because it gets better.
Like you're not gonna stay
down there.
And if you can hold these thoughts inyour mind that everything is on purpose,
everything's leading you towards yourideal life, your dreams, your goals,
you weren't given these goals lightly.
(16:24):
And then maybe all the tough stuffyou're going through is actually what's
the overcoming of this is gonna buildthe strength you, you need to make it
to that final little bit of the climb.
It's all on purpose.
It,
you can take a look at like,this is, this is tough too.
(16:44):
It's like.
When you're going through somethingand you keep on hitting a wall, or
you keep on not making it to thatnext level, your mind's gonna come
in and say, maybe this isn't for me.
You know, they say just before youlevel up, just that moment before you
level up, it's gonna be the hardest.
(17:05):
And what they mean by that, it's notonly physically, but it's gonna be
mentally and emotionally the hardest.
But there's this traitof people who succeed
and you could, you couldburn this into your mind.
All you need to do isget up one more time.
(17:26):
Every time you fall down.
Don't think ahead too far.
Focus where you are now.
And the truth is.
If you're thinking of ahead, how manymore times am I gonna have to get up?
That's gonna take from you, oryou can reframe it to, I just
(17:49):
need to get up one more time
and reframe that and recommitto that every single day.
One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
And it'll get monotonousand your brain will go.
Is this really for you?
(18:09):
But the truth is, it is becausethere's no way on this planet,
no way in this lifetime that youwould be given such a big dream if
you weren't meant to achieve it.
These things aren't givenus to, given to us lightly.
These are the things that, the bigthings, the ones you can't let go of.
(18:34):
You know, especially when peoplesay, well, maybe you should,
maybe you should reconsider.
And you're like, no, this iswhat I'm here for one more time
and just keep on one more time
until you reach the goal.
And it's funny, when I, when I lookback through the years, you know,
(18:59):
look back at all the things like.
Going through the school, schoolis, um, not knowing I was dyslexic.
Finding out I was dyslexic.
And that's a powerful place.
If you, if you have a learningdisability, you can look at it.
Two things, two ways.
You can look at it.
I am something or I have something.
(19:20):
And you can look at, it's like, this isgonna make it so I can't do something.
Or you can look at it as.
Yes, I have this and this.
This means I just haveto work really hard.
I have to work harder than everyoneelse, but I can overcome this too.
(19:41):
I look, I look at all the incrediblethings that have happened in my
life, like when, early in my practicewhen I had a business falling out.
And I was scared.
And 10 minutes, 10 minutes after ithappened, I got a call from somebody
said, you know, just, uh, I heardyou're not working there anymore.
(20:02):
It's like, what's going on?
I was like, I told them, andthey're like, well, you know, I've
got an extra room in my clinic.
Why don't you come and work outtamy clinic until you solve the issue?
And then I went for a walkand I saw a place for a lease.
Turns out that's the place we leased.
(20:23):
And went out, you know, with,with fear, but with conviction
that I was doing the right thing.
That everything was working out.
That even, even that was a reminderfrom life that you know, you're
on, you're on the right path.
You know, it's like what youfocus on expands when things are
going hard, start looking forthe things that are going well.
(20:45):
Yeah, I'm working with somebody who'shaving a really tough time right now.
And it was just almost inevery era of their life
and just trying to be thatsupportive human being that I
know I am, this is why I'm here.
And I hope they really know that.
I hope, I hope, I hope it's landing,that even though so many things are going
(21:07):
wrong, they have one space, at leastone place where they can bring it all.
And they've got one person whosupports 'em 100% no matter what.
That will never change oneperson who sees them as amazing.
And I hope that lands 'causelike that's what I want to be.
(21:29):
And it's funny, the reason Iwant to be that is not to be
significant, not to be special.
It's because there was a time in mylife when I was all alone and all I
needed was one person to believe in me.
Where I felt so low, like therewas nothing, and I just needed
one human being to believe in me,
(21:54):
and I understand I can't go backand change that or fix that or
change the past and nor would I,because it's literally, that's one
of the main reasons I am who I am.
But what I can do to heal that isgive that to another human being
and another, and another, andanother through my whole life.
(22:15):
And then I start connecting the dots,looking back and all these things
that happened to me that were sotough and so hard, and the things
I didn't think I would get over.
And that's what gave me theability to sit and hold space with
people in the place that I was.
(22:36):
And if it wasn't for that,I wouldn't be who I am
and I wouldn't have the opportunityto truly make a difference in life.
And then who would I be when I connectthe dots of everything that fell apart?
(22:57):
I realized that the big, big, big thingsthat fell apart were exactly, they, it was
like they shattered the, they shatteredthe castle so I could rebuild it stronger
and we had to demol itover and over again.
And yeah, I'm to the point nowwhere it's like, like I said,
(23:20):
even though I'm injured right now.
I am not completely devastated about it.
It's, it's funny, like my central nervoussystem wants to go into sad and all this
stuff, and it, it's starting to try tolook for negative things and stuff like
that, but I just don't live there anymore.
So I'll indulge it for a momentand then I'll move back to
(23:42):
what I am up to in this life.
Listen, you wouldn't be given thepassions you were given if that's
not where you're supposed to go.
But life is just trying to teach us that,
(24:06):
that maybe, maybe wedon't know the complete.
The complete path, right?
Maybe there's like lots of paths andwe think we know the direction we need
to go specifically, and if we get tooattached to that, it might, it might
throw some disruption in, but thisdisruption is not in order to stop you
(24:31):
from what you want to do in this life.
The disruption is order to redirect.
Think about it as if you couldthrow in a thought like this.
When things don't go right,it's like, maybe it's not
rejection, maybe it's redirection,
because Yeah, like even in my workingcareer, knowing that I needed to
(24:55):
be doing something that was reallygonna help people in this lifetime,
I got stuck in the ego thinkingI took a, I took a job that I
probably wasn't qualified enoughfor and because it would look good.
And that's what knocked me on my ass.
Now I'm grateful for thatbecause it, it opened up a path.
(25:19):
It's like, what do they say?
Nothing will ever change untilthe pain of staying the same
outweighs the pain of change.
And then you will automatically change.
And I knew I needed to go back to school.
I knew I needed to find a path.
But I just was not doing it.
(25:41):
So life just threw a big monkeywrench in and it was hard.
But the outcome
is a life I have now.
A life completely and utterlydedicated to helping others in
any way, shape and form I can
(26:01):
every day is committedto making a difference.
And the funny thing is, is thisis not something new for me.
This, I knew this whenI was three years old.
It's just life had to, life had toput me through a lot of circumstance
(26:23):
that I needed to overcome.
I needed to learn what itfeels like to really hurt.
I needed to.
Learn what it feels like to be stuck.
I needed to learn what it feltlike to be weak, not to take,
not not, not to break me, but tomake me into a caring human being
(26:51):
and I'm grateful.
So never forget, thisis the irony of life.
It has to be lived and forward,
but you'll only ever understandit when you look back
and when you look back and youstart connecting the dots and
(27:11):
seeing how everything was perfect.
Perfectly timed.
Then you'll get it,and I sure hope you do.
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
(27:33):
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
(27:57):
Okay.
Welcome to Your Inner Advocate,a podcast by Kimen Petersen,
formerly Conversations with Kimen.
This podcast is a space forinspiration, soulful insights,
and meaningful life lessons.
Your host, Kimen Petersen drawsfrom personal stories and powerful
conversations with remarkablepeople to help illuminate your path.
These episodes reflect his livedexperiences and thoughtful perspectives,
(00:25):
all aimed at encouraging you to live lifewith greater authenticity, joy, and ease.
Your inner advocate is here tohelp you tune in, trust your inner
wisdom, and move through life withmore clarity, flow, and fulfillment.
(00:47):
One of my favorite quotes, the ironyof life is it must be lived and forward,
but can only be understoodwhen you look back.
And this is kind of the thought that,I don't know, it's like a reframe.
(01:09):
What we're reframing here iswhen things don't work out.
And it looks likeeverything's falling apart.
Maybe it's falling back together ina different way, in a better way.
(01:31):
If you look back in your life,
you'll probably see thisamazing thing that I see
that anytime.
Life got so incredibly hard,
like almost impossiblesomething, or someone always
(01:54):
showed up in that last minute
just to help you through,
and some of these incrediblepeople ended up staying with you
from then on.
Some of them just showed up for a minute.
It just gave you that last little bitto make it over the edge, make it past
(02:18):
that moment, and some of them walkfor you with you for quite a while.
So this is the interestingthing about people who come
into your life in these moments.
'cause you never know, you know, are theyhere for a reason to help you through
a season, to help you move forward?
(02:41):
Or, or are they here for a lifetime?
And it's interesting when, when you losepeople from your life like that, it's
hard not to feel you're sad for the loss.
(03:03):
But I think if you could stop and youcould take a look and really appreciate.
What, what they brought intoyour life, what they created
in your life, how they helped.
You can feel sad that they're gone,
but you can also feelgrateful that they came.
(03:32):
You know, if you aresitting in a time right now.
Where things aren't aligningor things are going poorly or
not quite going the way you want,
there's some things you could ask.
Like there's a question.
It's like, why would life take methis far to only take me this far?
(04:01):
You can ask.
How many of these, how many things hadto come together to line up to get me
to this point, to get me to this day?
How many things, all these littlesynchronicities that got you to this point
(04:23):
now, if you see all this stuffthat led you to this path.
And now you've hit a roadblock.
Do you think that roadblock means you'redone or do you think it means maybe
there's something else to learn here?
It, it's fascinating the multipletimes I hear, uh, similar things,
(04:48):
how one thing doesn't go right andthen they realize that sometimes in
the past they, they'd done something.
Which creates a possibilityfor this new path that came up.
But when, when they were down theline not looking at that, they,
they didn't really consider thatthis is where they were headed.
(05:14):
You know, if you've ever heard thissaying that the universe has three
answers, or life has three answers toany question, one is yes, let's do it.
Let's go.
Number two is not yet.
And number three is I've gotsomething so much better for you.
(05:41):
I'm also thinking about if you'veever heard, when one door of
opportunity closes, another one opens.
But if we spend too much time staringat the door that just closed, we
might miss the door that just opened.
(06:03):
You see, if you could take on a practicelike kind of a reframe when something
doesn't go right, something or somethinggoes horribly wrong, if you could.
Like, open your eyes and look around andsay, Hey, you know, okay, so if that's
not the path, what is this leading me to?
What is it showing me?
What is it taking me towards?
(06:27):
Like, I know, so recentlyI had a little bit mishap.
I injured myself and it's, it's displacingall these goals that I was inspired to do.
So I'm getting some experientialknowledge of practicing this same kind
(06:49):
of reframe, and what I'm doing is I'm,I'm opening my eyes, I'm looking around
to see like, okay, what I'm really,really waiting for life to reveal
what is, what is the thing or things orpeople or what is gonna walk into my life.
(07:10):
Because suddenly there's alittle bit of space, right?
Because bad things, I don't believe badthings happen to disrupt or take away.
Sometimes bad things that make youstop for a moment come into your life
to create space for something amazing.
And can you imagine like, uh,you know, I say it all the time,
(07:33):
Albertine said it best when hesaid, what you focus on expands.
So if you're focusing on how somethingin your life is taking away from
your life about, all you're gonnasee is what's missing, what's being
taken away, what you can't do.
But if you can like consciouslywork on changing your mindset,
(07:54):
'cause honestly this is not easy.
I'm not saying I'm perfect at itbecause, I mean, I'm a little bit
up and down right now because.
You know, I'm, I'm reallyworking on the reframe.
I'm really working on the reframe,but it takes work In order to
change the way you look at things,you have to like consciously and
(08:16):
deliberately keep on the path.
You gotta keep on reminding yourself,like, open your eyes, look around.
Don't let your head go down.
Keep on going.
There is a reason, there's apurpose for this, something in this.
There's something in thisof value for your life.
And yeah, when you're going throughbad times or hard times or tough
(08:39):
times or when you're limited or whensomething gets in your path, yes,
for sure you're gonna have momentsthat you not really happy about it.
And I feel like one of the most powerfulthings you can do in this moment is feel
what you feel when you're feeling it.
(09:00):
Really, really experience it becausea lot of times we push things down and
what happens is we just keep on pushingit down, pushing it down, pushing it
down until it comes up really strong.
The other thing you need to do whenyou're feeling upset and you're feeling
like you can't really reframe thisinto a pause of light, is you need to
(09:20):
feel your way all the way through it.
Like feel the whole thing.
Feel it out.
Feel the whole thing.
Just work your way, right, all theway down the emotional path until you
get to the end, until it's all gone.
And that can mean a lot of things.
If you're frustrated, youcould stamp your feet.
If you're angry, you can go into asafe place by a beach or in a force
(09:42):
and you could yell and scream andpound your fist on your chest and
just don't do anything that hurts you
and just get it out.
And then remind yourself that everythinghappens for a reason, and that if we are
(10:02):
really focused on looking for and beingpresent for why this is going on, like
what does it bring into my life ratherthan what it is taking away from my life?
Then you'll find it
and like.
Your nervous system is gonna be a lotmore, um, calm if you're looking for
(10:28):
what things are coming, like what, whatthings are gonna come and fill that space
because you know, truly, if you, you everheard of this, the universe really does
not, or life doesn't like a void, right?
If you, if there's a void createdin your life, a space created
in your life, it'll fill up.
Now the p. Unfortunately because we have,as human beings, we're hypervigilant to
(10:53):
threat or concern and such like that,that there's a good chance we're gonna
fill it up with a negative if we don'tconsciously and purposely fill it up with
positive or potential or possibility.
So this is where the work is, right?
(11:17):
And then I'm, I'm.
Uh, as I'm moving through thinking aboutthis, I also remember the quote, Dr. Wayne
Dyer would say, living a life on purpose.
And what he meant by that, Ibelieve, is he said, living your life
intentionally, like deliberately, butalso living on the purpose of your life.
(11:46):
So.
If you could see that everything ison purpose, everything is happening
exactly how it needs to happen,
exactly when it needs to happen.
Because if it didn't need tohappen, it wouldn't, and when it
no longer has to happen, it won't.
(12:09):
So it's like the lesson will repeat.
U until you learn it.
And then once you've learnedit, you're free and you move on.
But of course after that,there's another lesson.
Like do you think, honestly, think thatif you really want to do great things
(12:31):
in this world, and one of the thingsyou need to get there is strength, do
you think life is just gonna go poof?
You're strong?
No.
What it's gonna do is it's gonnaput you in situations, really tough.
Situations where you may haveto dig into all your resources
to make it through, including
(12:55):
like looking around and asking forhelp and allowing others to others
to support you through that moment.
Yeah.
Strength doesn't come sitting on a beach.
In Thailand, drinking a Ma Thaistrength comes in those hard moments
(13:18):
right in the middle of the storm whereyou feel like you can't go on, but
there is something deep in you thathas the strength to move through this.
Overcoming isn't a passivething, it's an active thing.
(13:39):
And sometimes it's active in thesense that you actively have to
watch your thought process and youhave to like correct your negative
thought process and you have tolike lean into trust and patience
(14:01):
because you were, you weren't broughtthis far to only come this far.
And if you could take a look, if youcould start connecting the dots and
all the things that came together,
all the things that fell apart inorder to build your strength, all
the pain you went through thatcaused you suffering, you know,
(14:25):
just the fact that you are still hereis proof that the pain didn't win.
You're still standing.
You're still moving forward.
You've overcome things in thislifetime that you did not think
you had any chance to overcome,and yet you're still standing.
(14:46):
And in fact, the overcoming of thesethings is exactly what built the strength
that you need to overcome the next.
It's almost like, it'slike steps of a pyramid.
Every time you step upone more, you're stronger.
Every time you move one runghigher, you're moving closer and
closer to the goal in the dream.
(15:13):
And then you start thinkingabout the people you meet.
Like if I look back,
I look back in my life, Ilook back at all the work.
I, I did everything I wentthrough, um, all the pain.
As a child, the times I wanted to giveup, but I didn't, and I came close
(15:37):
and I, I got to this point whereI realized that when it was
really bad that I just need tohang on for one more minute.
You know, when it's really tough.
Just hang on for one more minute.
Hang on for one more hour.
Hang on for one more day.
Hang on for one more week,one more month, one more year.
(15:58):
Because it gets better.
Like you're not gonna stay
down there.
And if you can hold these thoughts inyour mind that everything is on purpose,
everything's leading you towards yourideal life, your dreams, your goals,
you weren't given these goals lightly.
(16:24):
And then maybe all the tough stuffyou're going through is actually what's
the overcoming of this is gonna buildthe strength you, you need to make it
to that final little bit of the climb.
It's all on purpose.
It,
you can take a look at like,this is, this is tough too.
(16:44):
It's like.
When you're going through somethingand you keep on hitting a wall, or
you keep on not making it to thatnext level, your mind's gonna come
in and say, maybe this isn't for me.
You know, they say just before youlevel up, just that moment before you
level up, it's gonna be the hardest.
(17:05):
And what they mean by that, it's notonly physically, but it's gonna be
mentally and emotionally the hardest.
But there's this traitof people who succeed
and you could, you couldburn this into your mind.
All you need to do isget up one more time.
(17:26):
Every time you fall down.
Don't think ahead too far.
Focus where you are now.
And the truth is.
If you're thinking of ahead, how manymore times am I gonna have to get up?
That's gonna take from you, oryou can reframe it to, I just
(17:49):
need to get up one more time
and reframe that and recommitto that every single day.
One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
One more time.
And it'll get monotonousand your brain will go.
Is this really for you?
(18:09):
But the truth is, it is becausethere's no way on this planet,
no way in this lifetime that youwould be given such a big dream if
you weren't meant to achieve it.
These things aren't givenus to, given to us lightly.
These are the things that, the bigthings, the ones you can't let go of.
(18:34):
You know, especially when peoplesay, well, maybe you should,
maybe you should reconsider.
And you're like, no, this iswhat I'm here for one more time
and just keep on one more time
until you reach the goal.
And it's funny, when I, when I lookback through the years, you know,
(18:59):
look back at all the things like.
Going through the school, schoolis, um, not knowing I was dyslexic.
Finding out I was dyslexic.
And that's a powerful place.
If you, if you have a learningdisability, you can look at it.
Two things, two ways.
You can look at it.
I am something or I have something.
(19:20):
And you can look at, it's like, this isgonna make it so I can't do something.
Or you can look at it as.
Yes, I have this and this.
This means I just haveto work really hard.
I have to work harder than everyoneelse, but I can overcome this too.
(19:41):
I look, I look at all the incrediblethings that have happened in my
life, like when, early in my practicewhen I had a business falling out.
And I was scared.
And 10 minutes, 10 minutes after ithappened, I got a call from somebody
said, you know, just, uh, I heardyou're not working there anymore.
(20:02):
It's like, what's going on?
I was like, I told them, andthey're like, well, you know, I've
got an extra room in my clinic.
Why don't you come and work outtamy clinic until you solve the issue?
And then I went for a walkand I saw a place for a lease.
Turns out that's the place we leased.
(20:23):
And went out, you know, with,with fear, but with conviction
that I was doing the right thing.
That everything was working out.
That even, even that was a reminderfrom life that you know, you're
on, you're on the right path.
You know, it's like what youfocus on expands when things are
going hard, start looking forthe things that are going well.
(20:45):
Yeah, I'm working with somebody who'shaving a really tough time right now.
And it was just almost inevery era of their life
and just trying to be thatsupportive human being that I
know I am, this is why I'm here.
And I hope they really know that.
I hope, I hope, I hope it's landing,that even though so many things are going
(21:07):
wrong, they have one space, at leastone place where they can bring it all.
And they've got one person whosupports 'em 100% no matter what.
That will never change oneperson who sees them as amazing.
And I hope that lands 'causelike that's what I want to be.
(21:29):
And it's funny, the reason Iwant to be that is not to be
significant, not to be special.
It's because there was a time in mylife when I was all alone and all I
needed was one person to believe in me.
Where I felt so low, like therewas nothing, and I just needed
one human being to believe in me,
(21:54):
and I understand I can't go backand change that or fix that or
change the past and nor would I,because it's literally, that's one
of the main reasons I am who I am.
But what I can do to heal that isgive that to another human being
and another, and another, andanother through my whole life.
(22:15):
And then I start connecting the dots,looking back and all these things
that happened to me that were sotough and so hard, and the things
I didn't think I would get over.
And that's what gave me theability to sit and hold space with
people in the place that I was.
(22:36):
And if it wasn't for that,I wouldn't be who I am
and I wouldn't have the opportunityto truly make a difference in life.
And then who would I be when I connectthe dots of everything that fell apart?
(22:57):
I realized that the big, big, big thingsthat fell apart were exactly, they, it was
like they shattered the, they shatteredthe castle so I could rebuild it stronger
and we had to demol itover and over again.
And yeah, I'm to the point nowwhere it's like, like I said,
(23:20):
even though I'm injured right now.
I am not completely devastated about it.
It's, it's funny, like my central nervoussystem wants to go into sad and all this
stuff, and it, it's starting to try tolook for negative things and stuff like
that, but I just don't live there anymore.
So I'll indulge it for a momentand then I'll move back to
(23:42):
what I am up to in this life.
Listen, you wouldn't be given thepassions you were given if that's
not where you're supposed to go.
But life is just trying to teach us that,
(24:06):
that maybe, maybe wedon't know the complete.
The complete path, right?
Maybe there's like lots of paths andwe think we know the direction we need
to go specifically, and if we get tooattached to that, it might, it might
throw some disruption in, but thisdisruption is not in order to stop you
(24:31):
from what you want to do in this life.
The disruption is order to redirect.
Think about it as if you couldthrow in a thought like this.
When things don't go right,it's like, maybe it's not
rejection, maybe it's redirection,
because Yeah, like even in my workingcareer, knowing that I needed to
(24:55):
be doing something that was reallygonna help people in this lifetime,
I got stuck in the ego thinkingI took a, I took a job that I
probably wasn't qualified enoughfor and because it would look good.
And that's what knocked me on my ass.
Now I'm grateful for thatbecause it, it opened up a path.
(25:19):
It's like, what do they say?
Nothing will ever change untilthe pain of staying the same
outweighs the pain of change.
And then you will automatically change.
And I knew I needed to go back to school.
I knew I needed to find a path.
But I just was not doing it.
(25:41):
So life just threw a big monkeywrench in and it was hard.
But the outcome
is a life I have now.
A life completely and utterlydedicated to helping others in
any way, shape and form I can
(26:01):
every day is committedto making a difference.
And the funny thing is, is thisis not something new for me.
This, I knew this whenI was three years old.
It's just life had to, life had toput me through a lot of circumstance
(26:23):
that I needed to overcome.
I needed to learn what itfeels like to really hurt.
I needed to.
Learn what it feels like to be stuck.
I needed to learn what it feltlike to be weak, not to take,
not not, not to break me, but tomake me into a caring human being
(26:51):
and I'm grateful.
So never forget, thisis the irony of life.
It has to be lived and forward,
but you'll only ever understandit when you look back
and when you look back and youstart connecting the dots and
(27:11):
seeing how everything was perfect.
Perfectly timed.
Then you'll get it,and I sure hope you do.
Thank you for listening to this episodeof Your Inner Advocate, a podcast by
(27:33):
Kimen Petersen, formerly Conversationswith Kimen if you found value in
today's episode, please follow likeand share the podcast with someone
who you think may benefit from it.
You can listen on Apple Podcast.
Spotify, Podbean, and connect onInstagram @ your inner advocate.
Until next time, keep listening toand developing your inner advocate.
(27:57):
Okay.
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