Not Dolly Parton on Fixing Friendships

Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Oh boy, I just want to thank you so much for listening to my podcast.

(00:03):
Thanks for tuning in.
Um, and since we've only got an hour and you've only got an hour,
which means I've only got an hour, let's dive right in.
Today's special guest is Dolly Pardon.
She's not available.
So instead, this is my friend Stephanie.
Hello.
Can you hear me?
Can you actually hear me?
I mean, I can hear you in the room.

(00:24):
Well, yeah.
So how do you know if it's like, I can see it on the, okay,
doing a cheer star, doing a cheers to start.
Thank you so much for being a guest on my podcast.
A little cup of ambition.
Good vibes only.
You know it.
We're going to do some games to start with.
I'm so excited.
I'm so excited.
I say that now.
Well, the crazy thing is that I didn't know you were competitive until today.

(00:47):
So this is going to be a shit show.
Oh my God, we're not supposed to curse and we have to do a shake.
Wait, every time we curse, I'm going to lose this game, but I'm going to have amazing arms.
I was going to lose.
You were totally going to lose this.
So we're going to, the first game we're going to do, we both like are a little bit thirsty for the men.
And so a lot bit thirsty.
Yeah, yeah.
I was thinking that we'll do like heads up, not seven up.

(01:09):
What's that game headbands?
You know what I'm talking about?
It's called headbands.
Well, we're not sponsored by them.
So forget it.
We're going to do our own version of it.
So you got to just put this around your head.
Stop it.
Your hair always looks great.
I knew it.
I knew you were going to go up.
So wait, it's right.
Okay.
You see it?

(01:30):
We look like such dorks.
Are we going to get any men with us?
Well, they hopefully they won't watch the podcast.
Okay.
Yeah.
I'm going to have a name to my head and you have to describe who it is and I have to guess.
We haven't seen each other's cards.
So this will be very interesting.
And I feel like the microphones set up so horrible.
Anyway, here we go.

(01:50):
Okay.
Can you see what it says?
And I can't sit.
Yes.
Yeah.
I can't say the name.
No, but you can give me clues as to who it is.
Yeah.
Okay.
Okay.
Sex in the city.
Mr. Big.
It's a girl.
Oh, it's a girl Miranda.
Oh, my God.
They're just a parker.
Yes.
What is her name in the show?
Carrie.
First and last.

(02:10):
Oh, I carry Bradshaw.
There we go.
That's actually impressive.
High five because I actually not know.
High five on a basic, basic fundamental of like gay culture.
Anyway.
You're turning.
Okay.
Is this the right side up?
Nope.
Nope.
No, it's down, but I can read it.
So it's good.
Where is this?
It's in front.
Isn't it weird?
This is so awkward.

(02:31):
I think that my head is small.
This is taking up my entire face.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
So Pride and Pride hit us.
Care nightly.
The kind of autistic man that's in love with her.
I think he is.
I think he is.
Isn't that you?
It's the character he plays.
I love that we went off the movie.
No, he's got a suffix.

(02:52):
Darcy.
Yes.
Darcy is his last name.
That's his last name.
And they always say like not misses, but.
Mr. Darcy.
There you go.
Oh, so oh, we're doing the fake character.
Mr. Darcy.
Yeah, it's okay.
Okay.
Oh my god.
God bless.
Sorry.
God bless.
I was like, who was the actor?
Well, you had it.
I think right?
Or was it Colin Firth?

(03:13):
It wasn't Colin.
It wasn't Colin.
It wasn't Colin.
He doesn't have those skills for that.
He's way too old.
Is this upside down?
Yes.
It is.
Okay.
Oh my gosh.
I don't know where the hook is.
I'm going to have an indent on my forehead.
This is a game in and of itself.
Just trying to put it on the floor.
Yeah, it is.
We got to get it in the hole.
Well, that's what she said.
There we go.
All right.
Is that a shake way or not?

(03:34):
I don't know.
That's on the line.
That's a cusp.
Terrible.
Well, it's not a terrible show.
Okay.
It was kind of bad in the first season, but he's so hot.
Blonde.
There's a lot of shows.
This could be what show?
Oh, the sons of anarchy.
Oh, I don't know any of the actor's names on that except Courtney Love.
Are you kidding me?
I know she was on it.
It's the name guy.

(03:55):
I know he's attractive.
Blonde.
That helping.
Oh my gosh.
You know what I mean?
It just names the people.
Scar's guard.
That's not the first one.
Is it me?
Was I in it?
You're never going to get it.
I'm not going to.
What else is going on?
King Arthur.
No.
Oh, Jesus Christ.

(04:16):
Colin Firth.
No, who is it?
Charlie on them.
Oh, I don't know him.
I'm so unfulfilled.
No, you're turned.
You're so good with that.
You're winning though.
That's all that matters.
I don't know if we're supposed to go by like winning guessing or.
Oh, you did.
I didn't mean to flip it over.
Well, let me just say who it was.
It was Ben Franklin.
Okay.
So strike us by lightning.
We're passing on you.
That was a good option.

(04:37):
I know.
Oh my god.
I don't like this person.
Oh, we're doing it.
Yeah, it's an actor.
It's the actual person.
Oh, madman.
I don't think he's overrated.
Oh, John, John Ham.
Yeah, I specifically knew it.
You did.
I did.
I remember.
She knows me too well.
I remember.
Yeah.
Well, that's also like a hot take in the wrong way probably.

(04:59):
I think it could get me in fights.
Like, I'm like, I don't really like John Ham and everybody.
I think would take up arms for him.
That's like, no.
I mean, I like him.
I don't love him.
Thank you.
I'm not mad at you about it.
See, but we agree a little too much.
Maybe on that because I said it to someone else the other day and they were like, how dare you.
And I was like about John Ham.
You're like seriously there.

(05:20):
Also, is that a stage name or is that his real name?
Because, because, Ham is a weird choice.
Why not Turkey or beef?
Okay.
Your turn.
Let me find the song.
Oh my god.
I don't know.
I don't think you're going to get this.
Perfect.
Mr. Slingke.
He is an artist.
He's older.
Bango Picasso.
Oh, sorry.

(05:41):
Musical artist.
Oh, okay.
Like what?
Aaron.
Stevie Wonder.
70s, 80s, 90s, 2000s.
He's still alive.
He's old.
Okay.
He's old.
Luther Vandross.
He's white.
He's from Ireland.
Okay.
Oh.
He is.
You choose UK.
And that's a band.
Bono.
But no.
No.

(06:02):
Do you know the song, "Brown-Eid Girl"?
Yeah.
Oh.
You love that song.
I do.
Yeah.
I should know the name.
Total.
It's Van Morrison.
We're not cursing, though.
I'm not.
Well, you did.
I started off too long.
I haven't.
You had to.
So there's that.
She's winning that as well.
Winning.
Oh, yeah.
Your turn.

(06:23):
I just can't find the name.
No, it's difficult.
Should I help you put it up?
Yeah.
Like, can you?
Yeah, I can.
Why don't I do that?
I don't know.
Oh my god.
Okay.
So I'm just going to do the impression of him.
It's a really bad impression.
I'll never get on SNL with this.
You, you, what are you doing?
Oh, wait, that was way worse than I thought it was going to be.
That was actually kind of good.
Oh, was it?
Do you know who it is?
Super New Yorker old man always has been old, like, forever in a day.

(06:48):
He's, like, born old.
Yeah.
Not Robert De Niro.
No.
Al Pacino.
Not really attractive.
Joe Pesci.
No, I love Joe Pesci, though.
This is, like, he's a tall slender.
He kind of looks like slender man in this little bit.
He's very, like, gangster sort of monster.
Radio.
No, he talks.
He's always, when he's talking to me, the guy from the surprise.

(07:10):
Honestly, not a bad guess.
Let me think.
Oh my god.
He, like, weirdly was, he's in a lot of stuff.
He was in the OG Dune movie, which I just watched the other day.
And that's why he was on my mind.
We got to count.
No, and that's not helpful at all.
I mean, he is an entire IMDB.
And where is it?
It's in the cloud.
It's in the cloud.
I need to get this.
I want you to get it so bad.
So you're not running your slower pace.

(07:33):
Yes.
And then first name, like, blank Robin from Winnie the Pooh.
Robin.
Yeah, first name.
You already got the last name.
The first name is like, "Blanck Columbus."
"Blanck Columbus."
"Christopher Robin."
Yeah.
"No, you got Christopher and you had the not not running, but..."
"Walking.
Christopher, walk it?"

(07:54):
Yeah, that's why I said my impression wasn't very good.
Oh my god.
It was good, but not in the context.
No, not at all.
What a difficult journey we're on.
Arduous.
That was really difficult.
We might do like two more and then move on.
But I know what's so funny is I actually would not know either.
No, you wouldn't have.
No, of like, movies.
Yeah, what movie has he been in?
No series slacks.
I've drawn a blind.

(08:15):
I've drawn a blind.
You've been in everything, but then you can't think of anything.
No.
The one that I'm thinking of right now is when he did the jungle book live action and he was
the freaking orangutan that was like, "You know, I want to be a man club."
Wait, that's a man club.
Man club.
He was gonna say a man club.
Holy shit.
Oh, up, shake away.
Oh.
Now we're tied.
That's the actual game.

(08:36):
You did too.
Oh, I did do too.
You're right.
Thank you for keeping me on my toes.
Okay.
Who's this?
Who's on my head?
Actor.
Okay, great.
We're all these stars.
I am obsessed with him.
I think he's the perfect man.
Oh, no.
He is past.
Oh, he's not alive anymore.
Not alive, but he was older when he passed.
Okay.
He's been in.
Oh, my God.

(08:57):
Why are we all blanking on?
I know.
We should have done some research.
I'm just like, you're not coming here to learn anything.
You've got an hour to waste.
Okay.
He, uh, cat on a hot tin roof.
Oh, I love him.
Come on.
Okay, not Marlon Brando.
No.
Rock Hudson.
Right?
Seriously.
Isn't it Rock Hudson?
No.
Jimmy Toshu.

(09:18):
This man.
This man was straight.
Oh, he was allegedly.
I don't know how to do.
I'm going to win Woodward for years.
Yeah, but I don't know if that was the straight person.
I think it was before the time.
I'm thinking of rock Hudson exclusively.
It's not rock.
Okay.
Oh, my God.
I'm like, what's all?
Yes.
Like gorgeous blue eyes.
Like, yeah.

(09:39):
Gorgeous man.
Not James Dean.
He's not in it.
I know I'm going through the old, like, the big hot list.
Um, so like, not Robert Bradford.
But.
Robert Bradford.
Not Robert.
Robert.
Robert.
Tell me who it is because I'm not guessing it.
Paul, I'm in.
Are you serious?
Yeah.
Oh, come on.
Well, my, uh, my stars of fame,

(10:02):
card is being revoked.
I'll never be a tour guide.
Oh, my God.
He's so hot.
I love it.
He's like my, he's like my perfect man.
No, he's great.
And that is a great phone.
Oh, my God.
It's so good.
I love Tennessee Williams.
I think his writing is amazing.
Amazing.
Why can't I think of the movie that he was like in jail?
Ooh.
Oh, my God.
That was like,
eight mile.
It's definitely not that.

(10:23):
Okay.
Next time I come on.
Yeah.
You're doing a brush up on movies.
Yeah.
No, we need to.
We have to do a crash course.
But we'll have to have someone else involved because honestly,
it won't be, we won't be able to teach each other anything.
We were to miss business.
For how long?
We have to figure this out.
Look, I was a failed child actor.
So I don't know what to say.
I mean, I peaked then, all right.
Disney Channel still not calling.

(10:44):
But I got this down pat and I'm doing the Mickey doing the Mickey ears.
Oh, my God.
Okay.
Okay.
So the person on your head is a mythological creature.
Um, we need to be able to see the picture.
That is a mythological creature.
Um, we love this person.
There's three brothers that are big and Greek mythology.
You've got one that's got the thunderbolts.
You've got one that's in the water and then this is the third brother.
That's the clue you're getting.

(11:05):
Is this like Marvel movie stuff?
No, it's like Greek mythology.
Great.
Yeah, it's a god.
It's a Greek god.
Poseidon.
Okay.
That's the one in the water.
So you got one of the three.
Hey, not bad.
Don't beat yourself up because I don't know anything about anything we're finding out.
But apparently you know this.
I know this.
I mean, look at all my Greek stuff.
I have one lane.
I can stay in.
You know what?

(11:26):
I just got a video game.
What?
That's literally Greek gods and we should play it after this because they're all really hot.
Yes.
Exactly.
Yeah.
We won't be able to make eye contact the entire time.
Okay.
So look.
Okay, wait.
Remember the movie Hercules?
This is her for a children's movie.
So if you don't know, I'm not judging you.
No.
His name is Hades.
There we go.

(11:47):
Damn it.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh no.
Okay, well, we're going to move to the next game.
These headbands are over.
We can get rid of them now.
Okay.
Because that was that was an ordeal.
How was I supposed to know?
You should have said how?
I should have.
I wouldn't have maybe gotten that.
What we should have done is that you should have played by yourself.

(12:09):
And I should have watched you play in a mirror.
You better tell me what to do.
This is so unhinged.
Okay.
This is happening.
I don't know.
This is amazing.
Okay, take a sip from your cup of ambition, my non-dollie co-host.
So we, that was heads up.
I have a second game for us.
It's like, remember when you were a kid and you would play Smash on the paper?

(12:31):
Oh.
You remember?
It was like mansion apartment.
Yes.
Studio.
Housing.
Yes.
I don't know what the.
Housing.
I don't know what the project housing is.
Yeah.
Because that's what we want to live.
That's what we want to do.

(12:52):

(13:13):

(13:34):
I don't have time for the paper.
I don't want to draw in all that.
It's boring.
It's boring.
It's amazing.
And then the last category is, um, will be your job.

(13:56):
So we'll pick these and reveal these in just a second.
I'm just picking the top ones.
Go.
Okay.
Now you go.
You're the guest you pick first.
Okay.
And everybody listening to the podcast is probably like, okay,
I'm bored.
Pick it already.
So here we go.
We'll edit that out.
Fix it in post.
Okay.
So reveal to me first and foremost.
You've got options for a man.
Okay.
The first name that you have is the person that you married first.

(14:18):
Or was the first love in the second person you can decide to marry or you're going to stay with the first.
Did you pick who it's it?
Oh my god, not a bad option.
Not about option.
He's got a genie.
He can rub it the right way.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
That's a shame.
I will stick with him.
Yes.
Who are your other options just out of curiosity?
My other Teddy Roosevelt.
Thank God.

(14:39):
It wasn't even a wheelchair.
Nothing wrong with that.
Nothing wrong with that.
We're not able.
But of the options that would not be my first for a, he did love a national park, which was stolen land.
We love that.
We love a little like the presser.
Oh, Prince Eric would have been good.
That would have been my choice.
Prince Eric would have been good.
Which one are you going to keep with the two?
I'm going to do Aladdin.
And I just want to, I just want to say for the record that we chose an animated man over a real live like successful president.

(15:04):
We did.
Good for this.
I feel like sexually.
Yeah.
I'm more attracted to Aladdin.
No, I'm very like honestly.
Yeah.
Who's your favorite animated character in terms of attraction?
Well, she's really giving it pause.
I know.
I'm really taking this seriously.
Prince Eric was hot.
Very.
But that's what you said.

(15:25):
He wasn't hot the other day.
He was hot.
Yeah, he's hot.
He's hot.
But we're forgetting.
You're going to say symbol.
Watch you be like, "Pambe."
Who was Prince or no?
Who was Cinderella's man?
Oh, you like Prince Charming?
Oh, yeah.
I like that I know these animated characters better than the 50s.
Like, what am I?

(15:46):
A small child?
Love that you know that.
That's a mess.
I need to be evaluated.
Who's Charming was hot or like sleeping beauty?
Who's sleeping beauty?
No, sleeping beauty.
I feel like his name was also Charming.
Right?
Like, we don't know this.
But it was kind of hot that he like woke her up from a kiss and like, it was hot to me.
It was hot to me.
But I also like to be thrown down.
Which is why.
And he did push her down the steps after.

(16:07):
Which is, I love to hear his fell.
But I need to be thrown down.
And he wouldn't be able to do that.
I don't think he can throw down.
Well, he couldn't.
He just couldn't.
So that's why I had to go with fixing it.
We're actually time travelers and we know that he couldn't because we've tried it, okay?
That's it's certified.
So I'm going to stick with Aladdin.
Okay, now you go.
Oh, we're going to do your whole life.
I want to build your whole life.
So you've got your married to Aladdin.

(16:29):
What do I do first?
Now is it, is it rags to riches Aladdin or riches riches Aladdin?
Riches riches.
Yeah, let's be very.
We don't need the rags to riches.
No, thank you.
No, thank you.
Okay, so what's your job?
My job is talk show host.
Oh my god.
Give us the pitch.
Other person must tell you why you're canceled spelling.
Yeah, I don't know how to spell canceled.

(16:50):
Does it one hell or two?
I'm a talk show host.
What am I giving you a pitch on?
Yeah, what do you want your talk show to be like?
Do you want to be like Drew Barrymore?
Do you want it to be more like the daily show that would survive?
I wanted to be like, well, that's a good question.
I like like, I feel like Oprah.
Okay.
Would be like my.
Is she a black woman?
Because I'm a black woman inside.
She's joking.

(17:11):
I feel like.
That's what you get canceled for us pretending to be black.
I'm just kidding.
I would say, Oprah, I like that she tackles like serious stuff.
Totally.
And then just giveaways.
And I also like that she had, you know, like celebs on.
That was a good balance.
Yeah.
You know, real talk.
Tam and Hall does a really good job on her show.

(17:33):
I think she has enough people talking about her.
And I think she does a really good balance of that.
Don't, I don't even watch her.
Yeah, it's amazing.
She's amazing.
But like, I would love a job like Regis and Kelly.
Oh no, no.
That Regis has been gone for a very long time.
No, but I, that's exactly what I was thinking when you said it.
I was like, it's Regis.
But like, I just, they just don't do enough like serious stuff to tack.
They really don't.

(17:54):
I think you and I really, as I say, this podcast is happening right now.
But this is sort of my pitch for talk show.
But I agree with you.
I think the fluff is a little bit too mundane.
Yeah.
I would get sick of it at some point.
Yeah, that's why I need like an Oprah.
Because I feel like if you really are doing the fluff all the time,
you're at some point going to, you're going to get canceled
because you can't do the fluff all the time.
No one can be that positive.
Like, look at Ellen.

(18:15):
Well, yeah.
Yeah.
She was a problem to work with.
That's a separate issue.
Same with Rosie.
Oh, did Rosie get canceled for that reason now?
Well, Rosie, well, no, Rosie, I think this was like during,
well, she stepped away.
It was like some like...
Now during the view, I remember, but like her talk show talk show,
I never knew why that ended.
Yeah, it was like she had, she like had like a freak out moment.

(18:36):
It was like, I'm Don, I can't do this.
Like, I want to be with my kids.
Like, but she handled it so terribly.
Did she really?
But like...
Because I loved that talk show.
I loved that talk show.
It was so New York.
It was so...
It was so New York.
She was just good.
She's a good, I miss her.
I think she's such a talent.
I know.
Now, here's what you actually would be canceled for.
Not that.
I think it would be the same problem with me.

(18:59):
We flirted with somebody and went too far.
Yeah.
100%.
Okay, let's do that next.
Let's do that next.
My salary is wealth.
Hey.
May, named into what is that?
Married into.
Oh, married into.
Yeah, I don't have the great.
I wasn't gifted the gift of writing well.
Penmanship.
It's like a doctor.
There you go.

(19:20):
Hey.
Okay, so I married into wealth.
That's great.
That's a, because Aladdin.
They're wished for it.
I'm not going to be able to do that.

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(28:11):
Later.
No.
You're not going to use it again.
These three F's are your basic routine.
Sweet one.

(28:32):
Don't forget.
You're welcome.
Oh, my dad would like to chime in too.
Here's John.
Hey, Adam.
This is Dad.
Bye.
I'm just like that.
He hung up.
Okay.
Back to our regularly scheduled programming.
So, yeah, we can start.
Well, good.
Because I'm not going to be able to do that.

(28:53):
Well, good.
Because we have.
We've started.
Well, I like to throw my guests into the mix.
So, here's something that I like to do.
I would like to know when you're in a social situation with someone, I can't see you at all.
Can you see me?
I feel like this is completely blocking my face.
It is completely blocking my face.
What a disaster.
This production value is really not okay.

(29:14):
I'm so far from here.
Is it going to be an issue?
Yeah.
You got to get closer.
There's just no way.
This is going to be a recurring segment that I have on the show.
Okay.
So, you're in a social situation and you want to hang up on it or you want to back out of the conversation.
Even if it's somebody you love, what noise comes to your head?
Like, what is the music playing?
I mean, I don't sing.

(29:36):
So, the only thing that I can think of that's going to come to mind is the chat for the music.
Wait, do it for real though.
I want to hear it.
I know.
It's like.
I'm going to use it as an edit in the clip.
That's enough.

(29:59):
And see.
All right.
We're back from break.
So, I want to talk about specifically the topic at hand.
You're like, please get on topic.
So, we've been talking about as friends as long as we've been.
That it's really important to us and I think it's good to spell it out in the beginning of a friendship.
That, you know, what you expect from a friendship.
Yeah.
And we both are on the same page, thankfully.

(30:21):
That would be a bad moment to discover that we don't.
But we really need two way street friendships.
Yes.
Well, I think it's also, you, a lot of people don't think about it, right?
You just kind of like you make a new friend.
You guys click or you've been friends with somebody your whole life.
And, you know, issues will rise.

(30:42):
Things will come up.
And you kind of just don't really take that pause to like analyze it and be like, is this working for me?
And, you know, over the years, I don't know about you.
But have you like let friendships go?
Oh, I've not spelled out this boundary firmly enough and I run.
I completely run away from the friendship.

(31:03):
I've let a lot of friendships die out because of this.
But you don't have that like talk with them.
You just go out.
I used to not because I was afraid of my aggressive side and that it was going to be something that would make me...
I would rather like go of the friendship than be seen as like a mean person in that moment to spell it out.
I think it was a self-worth issue to be honest.

(31:24):
Okay.
But now I've gotten very upfront.
Much earlier on with people.
That's good.
Yeah, so I'm trying to have a healthier respect for what about you?
Like setting boundaries.
I feel like you're really strong with this.
So yeah, I mean, I think I've gotten stronger over the years.
I have a lot of people go in my life that just aren't serving me and I don't...

(31:45):
And that sounds really bad.
But in the way of like there's nothing I'm getting out of the friendship.
It's one sided, right?
And I mean, I think it's just as we get older.
We realize like it's not worth it, right?
The bullshit.
And I'll give you an example of like...
Yeah, get into it.
It's like frustrated right now.

(32:06):
Yeah, because it's currently pressing.
Yeah, so I have this...
And I've kind of had a little bit of some issues over the past few years with this friend of mine.
And I mean, it's not that she hasn't been there for me.
It's not that we don't get along and have things in common.
But she's a very...
She's not one sided so much, but she's not super...

(32:32):
She's absent, more?
It's like...
She would never be in my emergency contact.
But that way, right?
And I...
Not that I don't do wrong, not that I haven't let friends down at times.
But I consider myself a pretty decent friend.
You definitely are.
As hell, I take interest in people's lives.

(32:53):
I'm there for them.
I'm a writer-die.
You can call me at any time of the day.
Like, I would be there.
And I want that in return.
And I feel like people, yourself included, that I surround myself with more and more of these days,
they give me that, which is what I give, and they give me that back.
But this one friend, she's been in my life for a while.

(33:15):
And I know you and I have talked about her.
I know.
Yes, was a more correct response.
It's not I know.
So, like, I think what started to hurt me was a silly example.
And maybe people won't get this.
And I don't know.
But, you know, I...
She has kids, I have kids.

(33:36):
And I would bring...
When we would go to her kids' parties, I would bring gifts for the kids.
Of course, it's the birthday.
But she has come to my kids' parties and not brought gifts.
Oh.
And I'm like, am I overacting?
Like, answer that for me.
Like, what do you mean?
To me, it feels...
It would be hard to not see that as a slider at disrespect.

(33:59):
I mean, showing up and being there presently is the best present you could ask for.
But you want to feel like your kids are as important to them and not nourishing them in that same manner that you're giving
is a little bit of a slight, in my opinion.
Yeah. And I feel like this person can afford it.
They're doing well for themselves.
They have a whole house.
They have a whole house.

(34:20):
In LA, which is an accomplishment.
Totally.
And...
But it's more so, even if they were kind of like struggling, we've all been there, right?
Like, even a car is fine.
But where I'm looking at it as, it's not like, this isn't a gift for me.
I don't expect my friends to necessarily like...
No, we're talking about your children.
I'm talking about my children.
Yeah, that's more serious.

(34:41):
So, like, to me, it feels like you're not really supportive of my child.
Like, I take that in that way and maybe I shouldn't.
Maybe people can write it.
No, I think protective mama bear...
I'm 100% there with you.
Like, my boys are everything to me.
So, like, I would like for her to reciprocate.
So, this has happened now twice.

(35:03):
And the first time I actually said something.
Because you know me.
Oh, you did.
You know me.
I like when you spell it out though.
I'll open my mouth.
So, I said something.
What'd you say?
I said, you know, I take it very personally that I had a party for my older boy.
Yeah.
I said, you know, you came and I consider you family and you've been there for me and helped me in ways that I've needed.

(35:30):
And I love you for that.
I'm thankful for that.
I said, but on another note, I said, you know, I really felt like slighted it in a way.
When you come to the party and you don't bring my boy a gift.
How was that received?
And she sat there for a second and then she was like, okay, I understand.

(35:52):
I understand how you're feeling and she took it in.
And I said, okay, great.
And then like a couple days later, she gave me a gift for my boy.
Okay.
So, it seems like she understood the assignment.
She understood what you were, where you were coming from.
Yeah.
So, it was like, okay, fine.
Like, we were going, it wasn't like this blow out or anything.
No.
And then cut to like a year later, the same thing happens.

(36:16):
It was last year.
That makes it actually a slight in my opinion.
Right.
Because if you kind of tip-telling around it, it's like, well, at least she shows up.
But if you've spelled out to her, hey, I'm giving this gift to your children.
Why are you not reciprocating?
Correct.
That's like a very clear signal that you need to stay in that lane.
F you.
Yeah, a little bit.
And so I was like, so I was upset about it for a while.

(36:38):
I had talked to numerous friends of mine about it.
And then I was just like, you know what?
I'm just going to let it be.
Like, I'm not, I'm not going to waste my breath anymore because if I have to say it again, it's going to be a whole thing.
Yeah, I'm falling on deaf ears, right?
Yeah.
Like, I just.
Why work myself up over it?
Correct.
But it does kind of put the category of the friendship in a different space.
Correct.

(36:59):
So, you know, we can't control others.
We all know that.
We do.
I'm just kidding.
That was a joke.
I mean, we'd like to, but.
So what I, so what I chose to do was say, okay, moving forward, I will not have this person at my boys parties.
Oh, that's a good boundary for you.

(37:20):
So that's what I chose, right?
Are the kids the same age just for the audience is perspective like are they friends?
Yeah, they're like a year apart.
But do they hang out like, do they do play dates?
Yeah, they do.
And not so much anymore because she has girls and I have boys and so.
It's kind of as they get older, you know, it's less more, it's less in common.

(37:42):
So that's okay.
That doesn't make that part weird.
Sure.
So, but obviously we stayed friends.
So anyway, so, you know, and I'd been there for her when she needed stuff and they moved and then came back.
And I, you know, helped the moving company.
And anyway, long story short, I specifically this past weekend.
I take her, finally we're going together for me to take her out for her birthday, right?

(38:04):
And so I take her out on Saturday and we do dinner in the movie and she bought the ticket.
So I was like, what do I owe you?
And she was like, no, and I was like, well, I'm going to get dinner then.
And she had taken me out to dinner for my birthday, which was nice.
And we had a really nice time and we hadn't seen each other in a while.
We caught up and yada yada yada.
Okay.
Then she was like, what are you doing for Memorial Day?
And I was like, oh, I said, well, I have two parties I have to go to.

(38:27):
I said, if I get done with them early, I'll just booked in blast honey.
She's booked in blast.
But the dance card is full booked in blast.
I'm going to totally use that from now on.
That's amazing.
I love that so much.
So I used it in a term that really isn't applicable.
So yeah, please do.
Perfect.
Booked in blast is supposed to be for jobs, but anyway, keep going.

(38:48):
No, it's amazing.
So I said, listen, if I get done early, like I'll call you.
And then I told her that I had plans with you today and creative plans.
Correct.
But they still was seeing you.
So because she was like, well, I'd love for you to come over, you know, and like she has a pool and like, yeah, she has a whole nice environment and all that.

(39:09):
Our husband was going to barbecue and it was like a good Memorial Day event.
We'll say.
And I'm like, okay, cool.
And then so I called her yesterday and I said, hey, I'm going to my two friends.
And I said, if I get done early, just connecting with her, I was like, if I get done early, I said I will call you.

(39:30):
And I said, but also I said I may be with my friend Jeff.
Well, I can say that because that's not the person I can also be put out if you want.
You want to please out?
No, because he's he's not part of it.
Like it's fine.
He was just somebody that I was going to see.
Yeah.
And she had met Jeff and she really likes him.
Long story short, I said, I saw probably with you.

(39:51):
I saw probably with Jeff.
So like trying to make the effort and be respectful and say, okay, you invited me and maybe I can try to make this work whatever.
And if I can, I can, I can't, I can't.
But I said to her, I'll be with Jeff and you met him and you really like him.
So I don't know, like if you'd be open to like having him, you know, and I just threw it out there, he has nothing to do.

(40:12):
Like he's, you know, around whatever.
No response.
None.
She didn't say anything back.
No.
Like over how long is the period of time?
Like when did you say that yesterday?
Oh, like a full blown night has passed.
Morning has passed.
We're mid afternoon now.
Nothing is said.
Okay.

(40:33):
Is that typical for her behavior?
Does she sometimes go a day without responding?
No, not usually.
If she's like annoyed.
So I'm like, is she annoyed that like, and this is the thing.
So, okay, I could be reading into this and this could just be like, doesn't sound like it.
You know your friend better than I do.
But I was like, is she mad because I like kind of said, well, I have Jeff, like can I bring him?

(40:55):
But I didn't think like, listen, if you called me up and you're like, hey, stop.
I have a friend that hang out.
I'd be like, come over.
Like the more the merrier.
Like there's never going to be a moment for me.
You can't be territorial with people like that.
And I do need to take a lesson on how to say that word.
But, you know, anyway,
Territory.
Moving on.
Territory.
Territory.
That's tongue twister.

(41:16):
It is.
So, I was like, is she like upset at me about this?
I would really hope not.
So, I kind of just let it be yesterday.
And I was like, this is a lot of let it be, though.
It's a lot of let it be, but I can't assume, right?
Like, but.
And so, I kind of just was like, okay, cool.
So today rolls around.
And I'm like, self-care today, working out, getting stuff done, washing my hair, like knowing

(41:41):
out of the CU.
I audio messenger and I said, hey, listen, just want to check in again.
Like, I know you mentioned, like Sunday and or Monday, like you were going to be home for
me to come over.
Like, and that was really thoughtful of you to double check.
Yeah, like I was like, you extended the invitation.
So, I'm not going to blow it off.
Like, at least I'm going to check in with you and just say yes or no and just make it concrete.

(42:04):
This is my message.
Hey, just checking in.
I'm going to meet up with Adam in a little bit.
But, like, I don't know if you want to like, meet a pop by before.
You want me to pop by later tonight.
I said, I don't know what your plans are, but I know you mentioned on Saturday that like,
you were free Sunday and Monday.
You didn't have anything going on.
Now, this could have changed.

(42:25):
Totally could have changed.
And that's fine.
But I said, because I didn't hear from her yesterday.
So I said, listen, I don't know if like, you're upset that like, I sort of invited a friend, but you know him and you like him.
Like, you have told me that you like my friend.
So I don't know if you're like upset about this and I apologize if I was like,

(42:48):
trying to invite people and like, you're mad about like, I literally, it sucks to try and guess what's going on with someone unless they express what's going on.
What did she say anything back?
So, then we finally get a text like, maybe like a half an hour later before I come here and she's like, I'm not at home.
Sorry.
Oh, it's very short.
That was it.
Oh, I was really hoping it would go a different direction.

(43:11):
And so now I'm like, okay, am I like reading into this or am I like sensitive to this?
No, I, something's going on.
So, right.
So I'm like, listen, I'm always going to be respectful and ask.
I'm not just going to bring somebody, but you like this person.
You met this person.
You're more than welcome to just bring someone to me.

(43:32):
But same with me.
Like, I am like, you can stay at my house.
I don't care.
Like, I will feed anybody.
I will have anybody over.
Yeah.
I love having people over.
My boy's friends like, but babe, I'm just like, I don't know.
And so now this makes me coming back to friendships and having people in your life that, what is it really bringing you, right?

(43:56):
And the thing is, is it causing strife or is it relieving strife?
Correct.
And not that she's not there for me, me dealing with my ex and all this drama that I'm going through.
Well, history is one thing, but we have to be in the present.
Right.
And it reminds me of Sex in the City.
Oh gosh.
Here we go back to Sex in the City.
Here we go.

(44:17):
Carrie Bradshaw.
Carrie Bradshaw.
When you watch this, all right?
No, I didn't.
Oh, damn it.
There was a part in the show where Samantha, one of the characters.
She was staying with this guy, Smith, who's super hot guy.
They did it.
Thank you.
I assumed he would be of it Samantha's.
Long.
They were together for a while, a younger guy.
And they fell in love in whatever.
And he stayed with her through cancer.

(44:39):
And there was a moment where she was like, like, it wasn't working.
Like, he was now a movie star.
Her life wanted, she wanted to say New York.
He was in LA.
He was on the set all the time.
He was in home.
I love when you describe a movie or a show to me, just FYI, because we get so thoroughly invested in it.
And I'm like, I feel like I'm watching the movies, like a radio broadcast.
Maybe some people like you haven't watched it.

(45:00):
So I just need to be able to watch it.
No, I love it.
Please continue.
So.
So, um, it's my, it's my cousin.
Come back to the episode.
So, so anyway, so Samantha in the one of the conversations with Carrie, she goes, because Carrie was like, she knew she was unhappy.
Samantha was unhappy and she wanted to get out.
And she says to Carrie, well, he stayed with me through cancer.

(45:22):
And Carrie goes, you just, you compared your relationship to cancer.
That's what she said.
Oh.
And it was like, I keep thinking about that in this friendship.
And it's like, not that, but she's been there for me.
But how long do I keep that storyline up, right?
You don't.

(45:43):
Right.
But like, I do care about her.
I do care about the friendship.
But it's also she's, she's not somebody that I could call that would be there.
And I want those people around me in my life, especially as we get older, you know?
Of course.
So I'm just kind of like, what do I say something now?
Do I let it be?
Do I wait for her to say something?
I don't know.
Here's my advice, because you have a lot of history with her.

(46:04):
And I know your relationship with her outside of the podcast.
And I think that obviously you have to have a conversation with her.
And tell her how you really feel and kind of check it.
Because first of all, hopefully she's got something going on today.
And she's just busy.
And we're misreading it.
Totally.
That's hopefully.
That's the best case scenario.

(46:26):
Worst case scenario would be, you know, you have to separate from her.
Take a beat from her for even a minute, you know?
Yeah.
But either way, you shouldn't have to sit with this and be burdened by it in a friendship.
And you shouldn't have to be second guessing whether the friend is going to be able to show up for you emotionally, especially.
Yeah.
Yeah.

(46:47):
I mean, I think that's good advice.
I think, I think for me, I've like thought about this a lot.
Obviously, I feel like I need to take a step back.
I think that's fine.
And I just need to be like, OK, I know where you stand.
You are somebody that I'll get together with on occasion, not close.
Like we used to be once every few months.
I don't see any problem in that.

(47:09):
Sure.
But that's kind of the extent that she invites you out.
Yeah, if she invites me out, I'm not going to invite like you came to my birthday.
Yes.
And I invited her.
And she was like, yeah, no, I'm not coming.
And I'm like, she's, she's like, that's not my scene because I had to all our listeners out there.

(47:30):
This is why she's my fake dolly pardon.
To our listeners out there.
We went to the cowboy palace, which is like one of my favorite places in LA.
It's like right out of Texas.
Super Southern bar.
Super Southern, but country.
So fine.
So fine.
We had a great time.
A lot of line dancing.
I had an elder gentleman that really took a shining tour.
And they really tore up the dance floor.

(47:53):
She's actually an incredible line dancer.
I love you so much.
I.
I got literally kicked off the dance floor.
This is such a tangent.
But like I was so bad at it.
They were like, go to the corner and get off the scene.
We need to just go practice.
I was not as good as I usually am.
I'm sorry.
I don't want to go to a bar that I have to practice in advance where I will do it for you.
And I love being there for your birthday.
But I'm not doing.
I'm not just like a not a whole ass job.

(48:14):
I love you so much.
Not me agreeing with your friend.
That's just kidding.
It was so fun though.
So I had such a great.
It was a great friend.
Yeah.
She missed out.
And so honest.
But it was like she was like, yeah, that's not my scene.
And I'm like, okay, but even if it's like, if somebody's like, my, I want to go to, I'm trying
to think like an escape room.
Yeah, not my thing at all.

(48:35):
I got to huge fear.
We won't be doing that.
I will not drag you.
No, I didn't think we, I knew we were aligned on this.
I totally agree.
Thank you for spelling it out.
But if she was like, let's go to the escape room.
I would be take pause.
Take pause.
But I would be like, rally if I have to.
Yeah, it will be.
It's like, okay, I'll get through the hour.
You've got an hour.

(48:56):
It's just like this podcast.
This is an escape room.
I don't think it's the same thing.
It's an escape room.
But like, I just, I would do it.
What was her reason for not rallying behind you?
Because it's just not her scene.
Yeah, that's it.
And you just accepted that as her friend.
What the hell am I going to say?
That's sad though that you have a friend that is in that lane.
Well, I know.

(49:17):
And that's where I'm just like.
I don't want you to get rid of this friend.
I'm not rooting for that at all.
But I don't think that that's fair to you.
Like, it's your birthday.
It's the one day of the year that's really about you.
And if you want to do an activity that really genuinely brings you joy.
And she doesn't want to be present for that because it's not her scene.
That's very selfish.
Right.
It wasn't really my scene either.
But I had the best time.
Like, I would have totally missed out not only on your birthday,

(49:38):
but a whole experience that I've not used to.
Right.
And I, one of the other, there was a couple,
I won't mention them by name, but they came.
Yes.
And they definitely hate country music.
Like, they were out of their element, but they enjoyed it.
And they had the best time.
They did.
They had the best time.
They don't have to go every week.

(49:59):
None of us have to go every week.
But we went.
We showed up for you.
And we all have fun together.
And I was so thankful to everybody that Rally that went,
even when though it wasn't their scene.
So my thing is, like, I don't know.
And I guess I just have to be better about this.
And maybe other people listeners out there can attest to this.
And they can, you know, chime in and say, like, when do you know?

(50:20):
And I've cut people off as you have.
But like, where's that line?
Right?
Like, when is it time?
Right.
When is it time to cut that person off?
The more that you're saying on the histrionics,
I think we're closer to the time that I thought.
I think it deserves one more conversation and not an avoidance of the conversation.
I think it deserves a direct conversation.

(50:41):
And then I make my choice.
And then you make your choice.
Okay.
That's my advice to you.
You can take it really because I'm not, I'm not you.
Yeah.
I mean, I think that I mean, I'll take that into consideration.
I love that.
I love that.
I love that.
I love what I love is that you think that the people listening to my podcast are going to have.

(51:02):
They answer for us.
She's like, look, I got an agenda and someone's going to answer it.
And I'm not paying anyone to tell me you're going to write in and tell me.
They might.
And maybe vote on this poll.
Maybe somebody will have a different day.
And they'll tell us.
So I just don't know.
And I feel like I don't know if I'm ready.
And maybe that's it.
Maybe it's like you know when you're ready.
And I have let people go that our friends are my.
You're very forgiving.
And I think that you really let people on, especially if there's a history there.

(51:28):
And I think that you're going to be able to do that.
Especially if there's a history there.
To try and try again.
I just think that it's time to have a conversation.
Yeah.
Remember this one thing she said to me.
Oh, now you about to make me mad.
I can't wait.
Go ahead.
I remember this one thing that she said.
And then we can get into your friendships too.

(51:50):
But.
Oh, honey.
What time do you think we have for this?
You ate up the coins.
There's no more coins for the.
For the phone battery.
I can save this for the next time.
No, say it.
I want to hear this part.
So.
You know, I told you I had a one of my best friends passed away early this year.
Yeah.
So.
Can you imagine if I had cut you off while you're trying to say this part?

(52:12):
B.
B.
No, not really.
Go.
Um, so.
Uh, last year I had someone died say it in 30 seconds.
I had.
Oh my god.
I'm kidding.
Um, he.
I was like his caretaker.
I was like, yeah, I was like, I'm just a little rehab and he was an alcoholic and just had a lot of demons anyway.
Anyway, anyway.
So I found the rehab.
I did all that I set him up for that.

(52:33):
I visited him.
I took him there.
You know, I did all the things.
And when I remember when I was telling her this, because I didn't talk to her in like a month or so, right?
And she was like, what do you mean up to?
And then I filled her in those like, Oh, I've been dealing with taking care of crash and, you know, this.
And I tell her everything I done.
What a foreboding name for him.
The crash.
That was his nickname.

(52:55):
Okay.
Well, that was a little like names in the soup, isn't it?
I know, but as they was Jim, that was his nickname.
And he got it.
It's a funny story.
I'll talk about that later.
Anyways.
So I remember I talked to her in like a month or so and I, she's like, what's, what have you been up to?
And I was like, Oh, I'm taking care of crashed and this and got him in rehab and told him everything.
I told her what I was doing and she was like, God, I would never do that for anybody.

(53:19):
Oh, that's such a friend than me.
So what I hope that she's never challenged with that because no one should have to be in all seriousness.
That's not acceptable.
And that no one should have to be around that.
God forbid someone come to her with an actual problem.
I hope she's not tested on that because I don't want that to have to be like in her life cycle.
She needs to learn from that and hopefully better herself though that she is that person.

(53:41):
And she's just overwhelmed by the moment.
But I hope that genuinely she doesn't have a friend come to her because they should not have to deal with that.
Well, yeah, I just felt like.
I just felt like, Oh my God, like I could never imagine.
No, anybody that I love, friends, family.
I don't care if I don't know them.
And I know you don't you you would anyone that needs help, you would help them.

(54:03):
Right, but like, I mean, I could be a bitch.
And I have an eye on something serious like someone needs help.
Something like this, I would there's no question I would be there for some.
We would give the left arm, but not the left tip.
I know my tips.
My tips are great.
They really are.
I've been I've not been staring at them because I'm not that person, but like they're great.
No, I know.
I had a gay man feel me up yesterday.

(54:25):
Wait, we've got to wrap it up though because we're really on topic here.
Anyway, so she I was I was really sad about that, right?
Like I just hit me and I'm like, wait a second.
How long ago was that?
This was last year late probably October, November.
And I just was like, is this a type of friend that I want in my life?
So to your point though, you said take a pause.

(54:48):
I did after that.
Adam, I did take a pause.
But did you did you have a conversation with her about how you're feeling?
No, because I did in the past and with the with my older boys birthday.
Yeah, but this is this is more serious than that.
Why would I say that's that's her choice, right?
To be there or not be there.
I have no control over that.

(55:09):
Totally.
Now I have the only thing I have control over is do I just want them at a distance?
And it's like nice to these.
Hey, how are you?
You can you can totally do that.
I'm giving you permission on the other side of the fence to say you don't have to even do that.
You're right, but I don't know where I guess my my confusion right now is like when I was ready to cut people out in the past.

(55:31):
I knew it.
Like I was like, I you're not quite there yet.
And I don't want to push you to it.
But I'm telling you right now a lot of what you're saying is a red flag for a person that would be a friend and is close in your proximity.
They sound like they're in a selfish place.
I don't know that they're a selfish person, but they're definitely leaning with themselves first.
And if that is the case, that is not a two-way street and a friendship.

(55:55):
Yeah, that is around about.
Yeah, I'm sorry for the metaphor, but it is around about like it really is.
Yeah, it's circling around them.
And I don't like what we're circling.
Yeah, I think I'm just I don't think I'm there to like.
No, they don't need to be canceled and they can come back at some point.
I'm not I'm never going to say that, but I definitely think you need to take pause.

(56:16):
Yeah, I definitely feel and lean into the giving your allowing yourself to potentially have the permission to cut that out because it sounds really.
And obviously this is bothering me because I'm totally.
Totally.
But I'm like, is it bothering me enough to say something because she might just be like, well, I was a man.
No, I was just saying I just, you know, well, it's the topic of the podcast today.

(56:39):
So I would say yes, it is bothering you enough.
Just to not to ring that bell, but the bell's been wrong.
I just don't know if I if it's worth bringing up.
It's definitely worth bringing up.
It's always worth bringing up.
But hold on and then we'll go to the next thing, but hold on.
The next thing will be the end of the call.

(57:00):
Okay, the end of the call, but this is the thing.
Is it worth it if I want to really like invest in this friendship?
So if I really want to invest, then it is worth it.
What are you investing in in the friendship?
Or if I don't and want to keep her arms length and like say, hey, how are you?
And just like she's already at arms length, though.

(57:23):
That's not somebody you're even inviting to your children's birthday party.
She's already at arms length.
So you think to keep her at arms length, it's worth it's worth the call.
I think it's always worth the call because to me, if you have a problem with somebody,
why would you even be around them if you can't work it out?
And if she can't work it out, then she needs to, I'm sorry, I'm boring you with your own story.

(57:47):
Okay, B, B, B, B.
No, I am not. You are not boring me.
I'm like so tired these days.
Go, go, go. Finish.
Just threw everything off this couch.
Oh my God.
Mainly because I'm hot.
I look, I don't know that we can solve it in a day and hour, but it's worth the conversation.

(58:10):
And I want to see how it goes.
Okay, so I'll report back when I come on as a guest again.
Or we'll have a new topic because we have ADHD undiagnosed.
There we go.
You know, maybe I'll decide and I'll let you know.
And then our listeners, Jesus, our listeners.
Okay, Oprah, broadly gestures to the non-existing cars she's giving away.

(58:33):
Here's a nice little bow on it.
I'd like to see what the podcast, what our listeners have to say about it.
Because what we've come to, the conclusion of is that we're not there yet.
We don't know yet.
Yeah.
And it's up in the air.
And I support you as your friend though in whichever way you want to go on it.
Thank you.
And I'm excited to hear where it goes.
And I am rooting for you in your joy.
And she needs to figure out what the fuck's going on with herself.

(58:54):
Because I honestly am not a fan of some of the things that she's doing.
Some of her actions are questionable as a friend.
So I hope she learns from this.
Be, be, be, that's all the time we have today.
Thank you so much for being on the podcast.
Thank you.
I love you.
I love you.
Can that be your sign off every time?
That was so fun.
We did it.
That was so fun.
Oh my god, I love it.

(59:15):
Did you like it?
I loved it.
I felt good about it.
I loved it.
Because we can just go when we go, we go.
Yeah.
And see.
Shout out to you for getting all the way through this.
Thank you for spending an hour with me.
It was a delight spending it with you as well.
Even though I have no idea who you are.
Remember to like and subscribe to our podcast.

(59:37):
Thank you to Chris Cappacino, my producer of this podcast.
And also, last but not least, my special guest today.
Stephanie Reibel.
Beep, beep, beep, click.
And PS, that little mesh, loofah Ball thing?
Oh no, hard pass.

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