June 26, 2024 • 49 mins
In today’s show: Mindful Therapy Founders, Derek and Jessica Crain (1:00), a panel discussion with the U.S. Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy (3:05), the feeling of insignificance (08:44), concept of re-framing (13:11), Mindful Therapy Group (20:08), community building and starting to “say yes” (20:49), and vulnerability (35:36).
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Speaker 1 (00:01):
You're listening to Big Raised Garage Grind.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I want to bring awareness and my voice to something
that's meaningful and purposeful, more than just who's the best
football player, who's the best football team? The intersection between life,
football and mental health. When you need help and you
ask for help, you're operating from a position of power.
When you need help and you don't ask for help,
that's the weakness.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Now here's your host, Seahawk's legend, Ray Roberts. What is up?
What is up? What is up?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
This is Big Ray with Big Rays Garage Grind, Mental
Health Edition, brought to you by the Mindful Therapy Group.
And it's been maybe a couple of weeks or so,
or maybe we're off a little bit from trying to
be in our rhythm of knocking these things out every
couple of weeks. But the off season has been challenging
and busy around here, you know, the Seahawks with new
coaching staff and trying to get to know all the
(00:53):
new pieces and the people that are in the building.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So it kind of slowed us down a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
But we're back at it, and you know, I did
just mention that we are brought to you by the
Mindful Therapy Group. And man, the more time I spent
with with Derek and Jessica Kane of that, the founders
of the Mindful Therapy Group, the more I'm just unbelievably
impressed by them. Uh. They were just recently awarded the
(01:22):
Entrepreneurs of the Year and the Mouth and the Mountain
Rest Mountain West region by Ernst and Young. And they
Ernst and Young does this thing where they honor entrepreneurs
for building equitable and sustainable and prosperous opportunities and and
experiences for for the world. Actually, you know, but Jessica
(01:45):
and and the Mindful Therapy Group and Derek were nominated
and was and won one of the awards for the
Mountain West region. I think they do this in different
regions around the country, and for the Mountain West region here.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Uh, they were awarded.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Uh uh, they were presented with this award, which is
a great thing. And you know, Jessica and I'll just
say this again, Jessica and Derek are great people and
they do great, great work, So big shout out to
them and the Mindful Therapy Group. I know that they
just recently opened up like an office and Denver and
(02:20):
I think one in Tempe, Arizona. I know they have
one here in the Seattle area, and I think there's
one down in the Portland, Oregon area. So they're doing
great work around this mental health UH space and providing
opportunities for therapists to uh to kind of uh spread
their wings and build their own roster of of clients.
(02:43):
But they're also delivering great work to the clients that needed,
so big shout out to them and thank them for
allowing me to use their place down on Hook Canal
for my birthday. Was just pretty cool. I went there
and spent some time with my girlfriend about four days.
Thanks to them for that too. Today I wanted to
(03:07):
talk a little bit about an opportunity that I had
just recently, and it was through I think the Seahawks
and the Seattle Sports Commission that the Surgeon General, doctor
Murphy was in town and they had a panel discussion
(03:32):
around what he has called the epidemic of loneliness. And
according to his reports and his advisory, the this this
e epidemic of loneliness was ramping up before the pandemic
and then has been just put in fast fast forward
(03:54):
since the pandemic and in the report before the pandemic
won to adults in America reported experiencing loneliness, and the
word experiencing loneliness experiencing is important because the report is
not just speaking about the feeling of loneliness, but experiencing
(04:17):
loneliness when when you're actually isolated and you're by yourself,
you know, trying to manage life and do those types
of things. And so it's important to know that it's
not just a you know, some people will say like, oh,
it's just all the philly philly stuff and this like
hippie ish kind of thing. But loneliness is a real thing.
(04:37):
And loneliness is different than isolation. I mean, it's different
than solitude because loneliness is something that is kind of
thrust upon you and it has negative impact. Solitude is
where you're choosing to spend time by yourself, to be
with yourself, to think things through a journal or write,
(04:58):
or sleep, or go for walks or go for hikes.
That was a little transition I had to make in
my mind around my own mental health journey, is that
I would chalk everything up to loneliness and it was
really having a negative impact. And then I started doing
a little bit of study on what solitude is, and
(05:20):
so then I could choose. Doesn't mean I wasn't still
experiencing like isolation and loneliness, but there were times that
I could choose solitude, and usually those were times when
I was going for a walk. So I would go
for hikes in the summer. I try to do a
easy to moderate hike. You're not going to find me
out there on the hard steep trails, like with eight
(05:42):
buckets of water and sweating like crazy. I'm going to
be really really low key with it. But I'm just
out there just to be in nature. You'll seeing other
people on the trail. I always take my hike in
my in my swim trunks and water shoes because I
hiked to like waterfalls and bodies of water and I
(06:02):
jump in it doesn't matter how cold it is, I
jump in there. It's kind of cool to do it.
But this idea around loneliness is a real one, and
according to his advisory, it doesn't matter what the backgrounds are,
whether it's your age or social economic status or what
(06:25):
have you. The feeling of being isolated, invisible, and insignificant
were major themes, and I think in some of the
comments I think I've read people were making comments like
like I have to shoulder all of life burdens by myself,
or if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.
(06:49):
And sometimes those comments like they sound kind of outrageous
and things.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
But just in my own.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Before I get to that, I'm gonna come back to
that idea around if I disappear, no one will even notice.
But other things that were present in this report is
that the loneliness and isolation is harmful to both the
individual and to our society societal health, like we're not
(07:25):
meeting in groups of people and creating community and positive community.
And the risk that are associated with loneliness is similar
to those as if you you're smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.
So things like cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and
(07:49):
premature death, like all of those things are associated with
loneliness the same as if you were smoking fifteen cigarettes
a day. So this is something that is that needs
to be addressed. This panel that I set on, there
were representatives from different industries and things that kind of
(08:11):
spoke to some things that can that can be done,
and we'll get to that a little bit later, but.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I wanted to talk a little bit.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
About this idea of how loneliness impacted my journey. And
you know, I live about maybe five or ten minutes
from my ex wife and where my and my kids
live with her, and I felt all the time like
(08:48):
I was super insignificant, even though the work I do
with Special Olympics, I'm traveling all over the country, I'm
attending different conferences, I'm speaking at conferences, I'm talking to
young people. I'm talking to schools and principals and teachers
and mayors and educator conferences and all these different kinds
of things. I noted, my kids love me. I do
(09:09):
to work with with the broadcast team, and so I
have guys around me, you know, during the football season.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Especially every week.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
But even in those moments, and I can remember being
at a pregame show and all the fans are rolling in,
We're doing our thing, and I felt like I was
the only person in the room. And so the idea
of just feeling super small and insignificant is not lost
on me, because that's what I dealt with a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I used to tell.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I would call my ex wife or send her a
text message or something just like in the middle of
the night to get her to respond, so that I
knew that someone knew that I was in the world,
because my greatest fear is that I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Was going to dialog.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
And if I live alone, I dialog. Who knows when
someone is gonna realize that they haven't talked to me
or they hadn't seen in a few days. And here
I am, like dead in the bed somewhere in my apartment.
So this idea around uh, feeling insignificant and small and
alone in the world and that if you disappeared, nobody
(10:20):
would even notice. Man, that was a real true battle
of mine. UH, And I had to work really hard
to reframe all of that and then realize the role
that I can play in UH and not being not
feeling insignificant or not feeling like no one saw me.
So like, for instance, all my kids are ill, young adults,
(10:45):
and they have cars, and they have lives, and they
have friends, and they have jobs, and so they have
a schedule that they're working and that they're doing. And
so for me to just think like, oh, they're gonna
think about Dad today, uh and come by the house.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And then then when they wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
I would get really frustrated, and so I had to
kind of start to reframe that and realize that, like, man,
they're adults, and they have lives, they have friends, and
so I need to work my schedule out and work
out with their schedule so I can get on their
schedule to do stuff, you know. And so I had
to do that, and it didn't feel right at first,
because I'm thinking, like, well, shoot, I'm your dad, Like
(11:22):
why wouldn't you think about me? Why wouldn't you come
by my house, Like you drive past my house, go
to the basketball court, Why don't you stop at my
house and you know, say hello or something. But you know,
I start thinking when I was at age and I
got my license and had a car to drive, and
I don't know how much time I spent with my dad,
Like I was out in those streets like doing whatever
(11:43):
I had to do, like playing hoops or going to
parties or hanging out with my buddies and things like that.
So I really had to change my approach to what
I thought was my loneliness to kind of I had
to engage the world around me versus waiting for the
world to engage me. And so that was a big
(12:04):
flip in my mindset, even you know, with the hiking
and things where I was. You know, one day I
went for this hike, I think I was deception passed.
I think Discovery part over in Seattle, and pretty much
walked the whole part, felt great, had a good time,
got in my car, drove home, feeling really good, windows
(12:27):
wide open, singing music, you know, as loud as I can.
Just feeling really good about this great hike I just met,
had met some people on the trail, talked about the
Seahawks a little bit, all this other kind of stuff.
As soon as I walked in the door. When I
got home, I was like, man, but I'm still here
by myself. And it wasn't like like this creepy thing,
(12:50):
like I need to have people around me or I'm
some type of loaner type of dude. It was just
it just felt like wow, Like I just felt like
I had the best experience of the day, you know,
of a weekend I could possibly have, and I come
home there's no one to share it with.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It got really frustrated, really angry, went into the dump
for about two or three days, just could not deal
with it. And then when I sold to my therapist,
she said, well, ray, how can you reframe that? And
reframing is a way to look at a situation and
see it in a different light, you know, see it
with different expectations and different emotions and things attached to it.
(13:29):
And so when I reframed it, I said, you know what,
I could have gotten home and said, like, man, I
got in. I mean I must have walked at least
ten miles round trip and got in, you met a
lot of cool people and had some good, great conversation
and had a good time. And I could have reframed
it as that and said, you know what, I'm going
to reward myself and I'm going to kick back on
(13:51):
the couch, have a couple of beers, watch some sporting events,
or watch a movie or whatever, or take a nap
or whatever, and rewarded myself in that situation and reframed
it that way versus framing it as well, here I
am coming home alone again. And so then what I
started doing after that was when I would go on
these hikes, about a mile before I got back to
(14:12):
my car, I would start reframing like, oh okay, like
I got this three mile hike in today. You know,
I jumped in the waterfall, had a great time. I'm
about to get in the car. I'm gonna go home.
I'm gonna grab ice cream cone on the way home.
And I get home, I'm gonna, you know, watch a
movie or go sit in the hot tub or whatever
it is. And so about a mile out I started
kind of reframing my experience so that when I got home,
(14:34):
I wasn't chalking it up as being lonely or been
insignificant or disappearing. So I know sometimes people will think
like that's some type of salt like fruity, kind of
hippy ish kind of a thing, but man, it can
be just the messages that you tell yourself can be
(14:58):
unbelievably powerful. And if you think about the conversations that
we have throughout the day, we have the most conversations
with ourselves, So like being kind to ourselves give you know,
speaking positive things to ourselves is important. And so that's
kind of part of what reframing is, and that kind
of speaks to some of this some of this loneliness
(15:20):
stuff that that the Surgeon General is talking about.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And so when when you are.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Faced with a lot of stuff that's going on in
your life, whether it's like relationships or work, or illness
or you know, death in the family, all these types
of things. When when the burdens of life are on
your shoulders and you start to feel this idea that
(15:53):
that you're all into this thing by yourself, that is
the first indication that to one reach out for help,
someone to speak to, or to practice this idea around reframing,
because it can really change how you think about it
and how you see it. Because the idea of loneliness
probably more than the anxiety, and more than the panic attacks,
(16:17):
and more than the depression that I was experiencing, the
idea of loneliness was so crippling, like I like, it
would stop me from doing a whole lot of things
because I just felt like nobody, nobody cared. I just
felt like I was in this in this world by myself,
you know, trying to figure out what tack was going
(16:40):
on with me, and uh, you know what, what else
what I was gonna you know, what I was going
to do.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
And so.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It is to this day still, you know, and I've
and I figured out ways to work with it. One
of my biggest fears is dying alone like it is
and when I do research around, uh, this idea of
death and all these different kinds of things, that is
probably one of the greatest fears in our country for
people over forty. It's this idea around dying alone and
(17:09):
dyning a loon could mean like living in your been
by yourself and your home, or if you're in a
hospital and you're in the hospital bed and don't have
family around you. I'm doing a talk in October, October
twenty fifth, I think it is for the hospice Care
Center over at Evergreen Hospital, just on this idea of
(17:30):
showing up and how to show up in people's lives
in a way that that you help them live a
good life to the end. So I know it sounds
weird to think about this idea of loneliness and you
and like, the one thing I couldn't quite figure out
is like exactly how they measure it or judge it.
But they have some type of system where they were
(17:52):
measuring this idea around loneliness and it's a real thing,
and it's a real thing, uh in our country and
that we're dealing with. And even if you think about
like just our daily routines of things. Right, do you
think about our iPhone? I know that there's all types
(18:14):
of like literature around how they came up with the
name iPhone and what the eye stands for, but really,
if you look at it, it it it has turned
into like an ie me my thing. And so you
get you know, you go sit on a bus or
you go uh to an event and everybody's on their phones,
you know, experiencing this thing, you know, and by themselves,
(18:36):
even in a group of people on their phone. And
so there's a lot of things that kind of you know,
the technology and video games and streaming and all this
other kind of stuff pulls us away from community, which
then encourages more of this idea around uh, around loneliness.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
And so at this panel they had they had four.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Industries represented. One was UH, the film industry, one was
the music industry, one was the food industry, and then
UH and then the sports industry. And what the Surgeon
General was trying to emphasize is that there used to
be a time in our in our in our culture
(19:27):
where those things were guaranteed to bring people together and
bring and build community around them.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
And in that community even.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
For that you know, four hour football game or two
hour movie or three hour concert, you were you had
a group of people that you were in tune with,
that you were belonging to, that you had created community with,
even in those you know, even if it's just for
a short period of time.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And so the.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Panelists were talking about, uh, the different the different ways
that those industries have been impacted, and so I want
to share some of those with you. But before we
get to that, I want to the Mindful Therapy Group,
based in the Pacific Northwest, is a diverse group of
qualified mental health providers offering both in person and virtual care,
(20:17):
whether it's talk therapy or medication management. You can book
your first visit within one week. Visit Mindful Therapygroup dot
com to start your journey to better mental health today.
And like I said, the mental health the Mental Therapy
Group was just awarded Entrepreneurs of the Year by ernstin
Young's Entrepreneur Program. So good shout out to them and
(20:40):
great people. But getting back to these four connection points,
so these community building points places, and so what I
took from the panel was was two words say yes.
And so what I mean by that the guy from
(21:03):
the music industry was talking about how streaming and uh
technology and uh you know, being able to have your
iPods and I mean your earbuds and your music on
by yourself and experiencing it that way, you know, other
than maybe going to like a Taylor Swift event or
something even music and it you know has you know,
(21:23):
there's been some benefit and some I don't call it
back negative impact of all the online stuff. The benefit
is that you can get your if you're artist, your
music can reach more people because you can do a
live you can post it on social media or you
can do a live show on social media, and more
and more people can have access to it. But then
(21:44):
the negative part of that is those people that are
having access to it aren't going out to the to
the venues to see stuff. And when I say, like
you know, the music industry, some people automatically think of
like maybe a Taylor Swift conscert where it probably costs
fifteen hundred dollars to go to it, or Beyonce where
(22:05):
you know, like like a ticket like above the Nosebleeds
Nosebleeds is like a thousand dollars, Like, yes, that is
a deterrent as well, of getting out in public. However,
there are a lot of smaller venues and smaller shows
that are happening all the time. My girlfriend Emily McIntosh
(22:26):
is an entertainer and she does shows.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
All over Seattle, all of the.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Different wineries, different clubs, different venues, and so you can
go out and support local artists that way. But there
are opportunities to not have to go to the big
Huges concerts, but go to other shows where you're getting
you know, grab another family with you, grab another friend
with you, go out, get out, build some community and
(22:52):
say yes to go into it. There's a website called
today tics dot com, so is t O d A
Y t i X dot com and uh. There they
have a list of just about any type of size
show and tickets for free and for for charge of
any type of musical uh music that you want to
(23:14):
see uh in the Seattle area, whether there's the big
shows that are coming to town or like there was
there's a candlelight It's called like a candlelight series where
they have like all these candles lit and uh someone
is performing like a like this one lady did all
adell songs, which is pretty cool. We went to another
one where it was at one of the wineries and
(23:35):
in Woodenville where all the candles are lit and everything,
and it was a stringed or group, so it's like
a violin, a cello, I think of viola and something else.
But they did all Beyonce music and so it was
really cool and it was it was super inexpensive. The
tickets weren't you know, fifty, you know, five hundred dollars,
(23:57):
but it's a really cool experience. You got like a
free bottle of wine for attending, so you had wine
to drink during the show. It's a very romantic kind
of a thing. So there's all types of things you
can get to and go to and be in community
community with other people around something that you're interested in.
So when it comes to you know, finding these events
(24:17):
and these venues and things, say yes to them. Say yes,
I'm going to go, even if it's just you know,
something you do once every two or three months, but
get out, bring friends with you. Say yes to music,
say less yes to live music. Say yes to you
know shows that are you know, these specialty shows and
not just like the big acts that come to town
(24:38):
and are at Lumenfield or Climate Pledge, Like, obviously, do
those if that's what you want to do, But I'm
just saying that there are smaller, less expensive things to
do where you can have the same type of enjoyment.
You can enjoy unbelievable live music with your friends and
have a good time. The second industry was the food industry,
which is really interesting because the expert on the panel
(25:01):
was talking about back in the day, when you found
a really cool restaurant a bar you couldn't wait to go,
then grab your friends and say like, hey, like this,
I found us a new spot for food or a
new spot for drinks.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Next weekend or the next couple of days or whatever,
let's all go down to this spot. Well, that doesn't
happen as much anymore. What happens is folks will go
to a popular bar or restaurant, take pictures of the
food or the drink, post it on social media, and
then they feel as if they've shared it with everybody,
(25:35):
even though they've only shared that experience by themselves. And
then even on top of that, sometimes they're not even
eating the food or drinking a drink. They're just taking
the picture to say that they were there and they
ordered it, and then they're moving on to the next thing,
and so all of that is still in isolation. So again,
I say say yes to go into that neighborhood bar,
Say yes to go on to that restaurant in downtown
(25:58):
Seattle or Bellevue or Kirklan or Woodenville or you know
wherever it is you live Tacoma. Say yes to grabbing
some friends and going like, hey, like, let's go watch
the game at the at the at the at the
bar or whatever, or let's go I heard that they
had great pizza or great burgers or great steaks or
whatever it is, and let's take a group of people
down to it and say yes. Because when you say
(26:20):
yes to that, you're saying yes to community. And if
you're saying yes to community, then you're giving yourself a
chance to build the relationships that you need that can
that that that are there to prove that you are
significant and that people do show up for you, and
that you can start to have relationships where you can share,
(26:41):
uh you, your vulnerable self with them and have people
to walk.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Through life with.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
But you can't do it if you're just staying at
home and I'm and I'm telling you I was that dude.
Like if it wasn't doing the broadcasts for the sale games,
I was at home. I didn't go out much, go
out to eat much. I didn't do to the movies.
I didn't do much with anybody. I stayed by myself
a lot, and it was killing me, like spiritually, physically, mentally,
(27:11):
the whole nine I was dying because I was choosing
to allow this idea around loneliness keep me in the home.
So say yes to the music, say yes to the food,
and going out and hanging out and having a good
time with your friends. The third one is called was
the film industry. Well, we know that like in the
(27:33):
film industry, you have all the platforms like Netflix and
everybody else that is streaming, you know, Paramount TV, like
you know, all the different streaming services where you can
watch every movies that are currently in the theater a
lot of times, so there's no need to leave the theater,
and so you stay at home and you and you
watch the movies and that's cool, but when you really
(27:55):
think about it, like, man, there's nothing like sitting in
those big cushy chairs having popcorn with way too much
butter on it and having a soda that's way too
big for you to be drinking, like just making a.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Diabetic out of all of us.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
But uh, and then Ben, it's dark, it's a little
bit chilly in the theater and the big huge screen,
like I don't care, like unless you you know, have
like a big, huge movie theater in your house, which
some people do. Man, you don't get that even off
your seventy five inch TV screen. Like it's just different.
And so when there's a great movie out and it's
(28:33):
gotten great reviews, or there's an actor or actress in
it that you like, or it's a remake of something
that you've that you've that you saw in the past, Man,
say yes, say yes to grabbing some friends and saying, hey,
we're gonna grab some popcorn, grabbing your kids and say
we're gonna go grab some popcorn and uh and some
soda and a whole bunch of candy, and we're gonna
(28:54):
sit in these really comfortable chairs even something now that
have like the actual speakers in the chairs so you
can feel like all the movement in the movie, you
can fill it in your body as you're watching it,
Like all those different things. Short story about the movie
theater for all you dads out there to have young kids,
one of my little I don't know. I thought I
(29:14):
was being tricky, but maybe people knew what I was
doing the whole time. But I would always try to
give my wife a break, and I'm like, hey, you
know what, I'm gonna take the kids in the movies.
You just go just have a day to yourself. And
what that really meant was the kids are gonna be
watching me and the movies because I'm going to sleep
for those two hours in the theater it.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Got dark and cold.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I was getting some little, nice, little bonus points because
I was creating time for my wife to kind of
go do her thing watching the kids. But man, I
was sleeping like a mug up in there. Like the
kids will be like, eh, bow me, Like Dad, you're snoring.
I'm like, oh, my bad. And then I have to
wake up and be like, hey, what's happening in the movie, dad,
You're talking too loud? Like all these different kinds of things.
But I used to use a movie theater to get sleep, honestly,
(30:00):
like I would I would do that. I thought I
was like being slick about it. I'm sure my my
wife at the time probably knew what was going down.
But uh, because I took the case for a lot
of movies. But but getting back to this idea around loneliness,
say yes, say yes to go on and send the
new blockbuster movie in the theaters because you're also supporting
(30:20):
like your local businesses and and things like that. But uh,
but you also have another chance to build the build community.
And then when it comes to the to the last one.
Oh then also uh, this expert on the panel in
the film industry was saying, in Seattle, uh, there are
always film festivals going on all year long. Almost every month,
(30:41):
there's a different type of film festival happening in the
Seattle area, whether it's around like different cultures or different
themes or or different uh uh you know things in life.
There's there's these film festivals that are going on all
the time and different different sized movie theaters. And so
(31:02):
if you go to SIF dot net, s I f
F dot net, uh, you can find where all of
these film festivals are happening, and where all the shows
and what they're about, and all these different kinds of things.
So say yes to that, grab some friends and say
yes and go go see a super cultural like movie
about uh, you know, some other country or or people
(31:24):
or that's different to you, and maybe you learn something
from it. But but take the chance and invite other
people and encourage them to say yes, because you're saying
yes to build a community. And then the last one
was myself. And forget the young lady's last name, but Brittany.
She plays for the women's soccer Professional Soccer League.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Here.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Uh, we were representing the sports side of thing. And
when you think about it, like you know, the technology
and streaming and stuff is taking advantage of is impacting
it as well. I mean you can watch, you know,
if you get the Sunday ticket, and I know the
prices are sky high, but you can watch every single
NFL football game from your home on your computer, sitting
(32:07):
on the plane, sitting in the airport, like wherever you are,
sitting at the beach, if you have the Wi Fi connection,
you can get to all those games and more so
than any other time in history. To me, if it's
a sporting event and they can broadcast at a stream
it live, it doesn't matter if people are sitting in
the stands, they're gonna play it. Because people will sit
(32:30):
and watch it. And if you're sitting and watching it,
then they get a chance to do all the commercials
and advertising. And if you're not clicking off during all
that time, that's money for everybody. And it's all based
on you not leaving your home and so, and if
you're doing that, then that just promotes more isolation and
this filling the loneliness. So say yes when someone says like, hey,
(32:51):
I have two extra tickets to the Storm game, or
I have two extra tickets to the Seahawks game, or hey,
let's go buy some nosebleeds, you know, before the game
and go watch. Say yes to all of that you'll
say yes to. Like for me, I go to high
school sports like it. Like I Football is football is football,
basketball is basketball is basketball, and it's very inexpensive. And
(33:15):
so I go a lot of Woodville High School men's
and women's basketball games, and I go to some Woodenville
High School football games, even though my kids have graduated school.
But I like the community of it. I like saying
the competitiveness of it. I like being there live and
in person and saying it. Obviously I'm at the Seaalk
games when they're at home because I'm doing the broadcast thing.
But there are so many ways to enjoy and build
(33:38):
community around these four different things. To film, food, music,
and sports without having to spend a whole ton of
money because there's so many other ways to do it.
So you don't have to go to the Seaalk football game.
There's there's some really good high school football in this area.
So you know, watch the news and find out what
the game of the week is. Usually those are two
(33:58):
very good football teams. Go to the game, grab some people,
be in community, cheer some folks on find it, have
an opportunity to meet someone and build a community, build
some relationships, and then you can defeat this idea around
around loneliness. So saying yes to getting out of the house,
(34:20):
saying yes to going on a hike, saying yes to
going on a little ride, saying yes to taking your
family and some friends on a staycation. Uh, you know,
saying yes to man like if you I think it
was last year, I pulled up to my kid's house
and then the cul de sac. Everyone had just put
their chairs in the cul de sac and they were
(34:42):
every The adults were sharing glasses of wine and the
kids were drinking sodas and running around and playing little
games and stuff like that. There's a little bit of
a music music plan and that didn't cost anything. They
just pulled their rolled the chairs out to the cul
de sac, sat out in the cul de sac, and
was in conversation and community with the people around them.
So you can say yes to defeating loneliness without having
(35:04):
to come out in the pocket. Really really deep. And
so to me, there's a lot of things maybe I'll
put up on the posting of this the the link
to the Surgeon General's advisory, but even in advisory they
(35:26):
give some more examples of things to do to say
yes to, to get out of the house and build
community and how to defeat this idea around loneliness. The
last thing that I will that I want to talk
about is during our panel discussion. You know, loneliness also,
(35:47):
like we just said, it has all this impact on
your cardiovascular system, the heart disease, cancer, all that, but
it also has a major impact on your mental health.
And so that was another reason that I was on
the panel was to speak to that a little bit.
And the Surgeon General kept bringing up this idea around
vulnerability in.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
The locker room.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
And I can tell by the way that he was
phrasing the question that he's saying, like, how did how
do your teammates respond to this weakness? Because that's how
we view vulnerability. And so I had an opportunity to
kind of speak to what my thoughts are and perspective
(36:31):
are around vulnerability. And so I said to him, I said,
the thing that's really interesting about vulnerability in our culture,
and it needs a bit of a reframe because when
you're being vulnerable, you're choosing to share with someone else
(36:51):
your deepest, darkest secrets, fears, failures, and you know, and
things that aren't great in your life, struggles like you're
choosing to say, I'm at a point where I need
(37:12):
to offload this with someone so that I can find
space to breathe, so I can find space to live again.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage, strength and trust
to do that. There is nothing weak about it, like
(37:32):
to think that being vulnerable, being vulnerable maybe speaking of
a weakness, but it doesn't speak to your weakness that
you are weak by speaking to it.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
It takes strength to do that.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
For me to be this guy who at one point
in my life was, you know, three hundred and thirty
pounds I could bench press. I think my max bench
press is like five hundred and fifty pounds. I think
my max squat was seven or eight or nine hundred pounds.
Like I'm blocking three hundred pounds dudes for a living.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
You know, I must.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Have played one hundred and twenty seven something games sixty
plays a game doing all that for a living. And
I had to tell someone I cannot even turn the doorknob.
A doorknob might weigh a pound and it would defeat
me every time. It takes a lot of strength to
say that. It takes a lot of strength for me
to say, you know what, Like I was curled up
(38:31):
on the couch in between calls, crying, punching the couch,
not knowing what was going to happen, putting blankets and
towels and stuff all over the windows to keep everything dark.
It when you if you know me, if you see
me in public, you would have never thought that. So
it took a lot of strength and courage for me
to get to the point where I'm like, I need
to talk to someone about this. And on the flip
(38:52):
side of that is if you are the person that
someone has chosen, someone has come to you and said,
I want to share, I want to be vulnerable with you,
you should take it as a badge of honor because
what they're saying is that in my life, you are
(39:14):
a safe person. You are a safe person place for
me to come to to share these things. So, then,
in that respect, if you are if you are receiving,
if you are sitting in someone's vulnerability, it also takes strength,
and it also takes trust, and it also takes courage
because you have to have the strength to be able
(39:34):
to sit in it and not feel like you have
to fix it, but be able to be supportive and
courage maybe point someone in the right direction. If you
have some words that can help, that's great. But your
reasoning for ben there isn't always to fix things. It's
to allow people to get things off their chests, to
say it out loud, to then start to come up with.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
A plan to move forward.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
So it takes strength for you to be able to
sit in there, and it takes courage for you to
do and then you have to trust yourself that you
will not then weaponize this information, that then you will
not hold this over a person, that you will not
use it for your gain, but that you will hold
it like a like a like the gift that it
is like the most precious gift you've ever been given.
(40:18):
You have to be able to hold someone's vulnerability like that,
and that takes strength and courage and trust. And so
there's nothing about this whole concept of vulnerability on either
side of it. Whether you're the person being vulnerable or
you're the person that is sitting in someone's vulnerability, it
is nothing but strength and power. And for most people
(40:39):
it is the first step to their healing. And so
if you deny someone that by judging them or calling
them solved or calling them weak, like, then I have
to question your humanity because you're not sending the humanness
in them, Like if since someone's humanity and showing up
(41:01):
for someone is going to always be transitional, like I'll
show up for you. If that means I'm going to
get something out of it, then, man, what does that
say about our culture? What does it say about who
we are? What does it say about us as people?
What does it say about whoever it is that you
see as your higher power that is larger than your life.
What does it say about your approach to all of that?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Man? It does to me.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
It doesn't speak speak volumes. But if you can say
yes to being vulnerable, if you can say yes to
be in someone's safe place, man, that's where life is.
That's how you help people move from point A to
point B. And maybe that's only that's Maybe your job
is just to get them from point A to point B.
And if someone else gets them from point B to
C and C to D, and then you've helped them
start this journey. But if it if I didn't have
(41:47):
people that showed up in my life that way, man,
I promise you I would not be sitting here doing
this podcast. And for me, those people were my ex
wife Beth, Sandy Gregory who used to work for the
for the Sea Hawks, and then the lady from the
NFL Trust, Danielle Foreman. Those three people showed up for
(42:09):
me in ways that kind of got me on this
journey to this healing and getting myself off the couch,
out of the house, out of this mindset of loneliness
and anxiety and depression and all those kinds of things.
And if they had looked at what was going on,
in my life and thought like, well, man, like you're
just you know, look at all these things you've done
in your life, and you just you know, gladiator football player, dude,
(42:31):
Like you shouldn't cry, you shouldn't have feelings, you shouldn't bleed,
all these different kinds of things. Then I would not
have gotten I would not have found the help that
I needed. But those three people showed up. They've all
been safe places for me to share, and then there
in their own right, they pointed me in the direction
I should go. Beth didn't know exactly what to do,
(42:53):
so she called Sandy Gregory. Sandy Gregory knew of some
resources that the NFL had, so she called Danielle. Daniel
Foreman at the Trust had access to all the research,
I mean, all the resources and said.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Okay, rap, here's here's the place you should start.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
And so they got me to the After the Impact
program in Manchester, Michigan that the that was sponsored and
paid for by the NFL. And through that program I
found the healing that I needed. And so, like I said,
being vulnerable to Beth, she didn't have to solve the problem,
but she pointed me in the right direction. And then
(43:28):
Sandy heard my story and then she had a little
bit more information in Beth, and she pointed me to
the next person, and then that person got me to
where I needed to go. So show up in people's life.
The power of showing up is unbelievable. And showing up,
it's interesting. Like the talk I'm doing in October is
titled the power showing Up, and so I've researched all
the different words in that phrase, the power of showing up.
(43:51):
And so power is like you have like the ability,
you have the necessary and you have the means, you
have the what it requires to do what it is
that you have to do. And then showing up in
the sense of showing up for other people means that
you're showing up with intention and you're showing up with
purpose for someone else. So when you say that someone
(44:13):
has the power, when you have the power to show up,
you have the ability to be purposeful and intentional and
showing up for someone else. And to me, that speaks
to humanity. And if you if you don't have that,
then man, like maybe you need some help on your own.
And I'm not saying that that that that's not that's
a bad thing. But I'm just saying if you, if
(44:34):
you in your life don't have people that can show
up for you, and you can show up for people,
and it doesn't have to be a big, major life
changing things, but you can show up for people when
they're in crisis, or they're in struggle, or they're feeling lonely,
or they're just in a tough spot in their life.
When you when you can show up for them like that,
that is a powerful thing. That is a humanity thing.
That is a like living for something greater than yourself thing.
(45:00):
It's a selfless, sacrificial thing, and we should all be
willing to both be vulnerable and also be a safe
person for other people to show up. I know that
that's probably not as long as episode as we normally have,
(45:22):
but I just want you to know that.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
In this our culture of.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
My generation of I just turned fifty five a couple
of weeks ago, and so people around my age mid
forties around this whole idea of calling our young people
soft or are not tough and we were tougher and
all these other kinds of things. Man, you are doing
(45:49):
humanity a disservice by doing that, Because there are people
who are afraid to say what's going on in their lives,
and so they are literally dying and lonely. They're dying
in isolation, and they're dying in silence because we are
silencing them by saying like, oh, if you if you
share this, or you think that, or you're feeling this thing,
(46:10):
then you're being a soft your cupcake, all these different
kinds of things. And like we shared in the in
the previous podcast, there's a lot of men that live
and think that way, and but men that are over
forty commit suicide at a rate four times greater than women.
And so the idea of holding your holding on to
(46:33):
this idea of toughness, it's killing people, it is, It
is really killing people. So I'm not saying that you
have to go out and cry, cry a river and
all that other kind of stuff, But man, if you
are in a place of crisis, if you're in a
place of struggle, if you're in a place of mental
anguish and you feel like you can't fight your way
(46:54):
out of a wet paper bag, you better reach out
to somebody there there you can. If there's a there's
different types of crisis line. I think it's nine to
eight eight is the suicide UH lifeline that you can call,
but you can also call that line if you're just
in crisis. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're about to
cause harm to yourself, but obviously if you are, that's
a number to call. But there are people that are
(47:17):
willing to help. And mental health is becoming more and
more mainstream. And if you can get yourself out of
the mindset that that sharing how you feel and needing
help for how you feel is a weakness and that
means that you're not tough, then you can get the
help that you need. UH.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
It's no different than our physical health.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
If you break your leg, you're gonna go to the doctor.
If you get some type of cold or some other
type of UH illness, you're gonna you're gonna go to
the doctor and get what you need to heal yourself.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Well.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Our mentals get broken sometimes and UH and they need
heal And there are people that are willing, ready and
able to help you. So again I want to thank
you guys for tuning in and for listening. I hope
that that you will say yes two more things that
will get you out in the community and build some
(48:08):
give you an opportunity to build relationships and want to
give another shout out to Derek and Jessica Crane for
the Mental Health Mindful Therapy group and and all the
things that they've that they've done. Hopefully we're going to
have Derek on h for an interview probably near the
end of July. I think he's on the road. They
have a couple other places UH to open up, so
(48:28):
stay tuned for that. And like always, if it is
okay to not be okay, if you're experiencing a mental
health crisis, reach out to your health care provider for
assistance or guidance. So you can also dial nine eight
eight for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline and then number
three when you need help and you ask for help,
you're operating from a position of power. So that's it
(48:51):
from me, Big Ray, thank you for tuning in. Until
next time, peace and am out.
You're listening to Big Raised Garage Grind.
Speaker 2 (00:04):
I want to bring awareness and my voice to something
that's meaningful and purposeful, more than just who's the best
football player, who's the best football team? The intersection between life,
football and mental health. When you need help and you
ask for help, you're operating from a position of power.
When you need help and you don't ask for help,
that's the weakness.
Speaker 1 (00:24):
Now here's your host, Seahawk's legend, Ray Roberts. What is up?
What is up? What is up?
Speaker 2 (00:30):
This is Big Ray with Big Rays Garage Grind, Mental
Health Edition, brought to you by the Mindful Therapy Group.
And it's been maybe a couple of weeks or so,
or maybe we're off a little bit from trying to
be in our rhythm of knocking these things out every
couple of weeks. But the off season has been challenging
and busy around here, you know, the Seahawks with new
coaching staff and trying to get to know all the
(00:53):
new pieces and the people that are in the building.
Speaker 1 (00:55):
So it kind of slowed us down a little bit.
Speaker 2 (00:57):
But we're back at it, and you know, I did
just mention that we are brought to you by the
Mindful Therapy Group. And man, the more time I spent
with with Derek and Jessica Kane of that, the founders
of the Mindful Therapy Group, the more I'm just unbelievably
impressed by them. Uh. They were just recently awarded the
(01:22):
Entrepreneurs of the Year and the Mouth and the Mountain
Rest Mountain West region by Ernst and Young. And they
Ernst and Young does this thing where they honor entrepreneurs
for building equitable and sustainable and prosperous opportunities and and
experiences for for the world. Actually, you know, but Jessica
(01:45):
and and the Mindful Therapy Group and Derek were nominated
and was and won one of the awards for the
Mountain West region. I think they do this in different
regions around the country, and for the Mountain West region here.
Speaker 1 (01:58):
Uh, they were awarded.
Speaker 2 (01:59):
Uh uh, they were presented with this award, which is
a great thing. And you know, Jessica and I'll just
say this again, Jessica and Derek are great people and
they do great, great work, So big shout out to
them and the Mindful Therapy Group. I know that they
just recently opened up like an office and Denver and
(02:20):
I think one in Tempe, Arizona. I know they have
one here in the Seattle area, and I think there's
one down in the Portland, Oregon area. So they're doing
great work around this mental health UH space and providing
opportunities for therapists to uh to kind of uh spread
their wings and build their own roster of of clients.
(02:43):
But they're also delivering great work to the clients that needed,
so big shout out to them and thank them for
allowing me to use their place down on Hook Canal
for my birthday. Was just pretty cool. I went there
and spent some time with my girlfriend about four days.
Thanks to them for that too. Today I wanted to
(03:07):
talk a little bit about an opportunity that I had
just recently, and it was through I think the Seahawks
and the Seattle Sports Commission that the Surgeon General, doctor
Murphy was in town and they had a panel discussion
(03:32):
around what he has called the epidemic of loneliness. And
according to his reports and his advisory, the this this
e epidemic of loneliness was ramping up before the pandemic
and then has been just put in fast fast forward
(03:54):
since the pandemic and in the report before the pandemic
won to adults in America reported experiencing loneliness, and the
word experiencing loneliness experiencing is important because the report is
not just speaking about the feeling of loneliness, but experiencing
(04:17):
loneliness when when you're actually isolated and you're by yourself,
you know, trying to manage life and do those types
of things. And so it's important to know that it's
not just a you know, some people will say like, oh,
it's just all the philly philly stuff and this like
hippie ish kind of thing. But loneliness is a real thing.
(04:37):
And loneliness is different than isolation. I mean, it's different
than solitude because loneliness is something that is kind of
thrust upon you and it has negative impact. Solitude is
where you're choosing to spend time by yourself, to be
with yourself, to think things through a journal or write,
(04:58):
or sleep, or go for walks or go for hikes.
That was a little transition I had to make in
my mind around my own mental health journey, is that
I would chalk everything up to loneliness and it was
really having a negative impact. And then I started doing
a little bit of study on what solitude is, and
(05:20):
so then I could choose. Doesn't mean I wasn't still
experiencing like isolation and loneliness, but there were times that
I could choose solitude, and usually those were times when
I was going for a walk. So I would go
for hikes in the summer. I try to do a
easy to moderate hike. You're not going to find me
out there on the hard steep trails, like with eight
(05:42):
buckets of water and sweating like crazy. I'm going to
be really really low key with it. But I'm just
out there just to be in nature. You'll seeing other
people on the trail. I always take my hike in
my in my swim trunks and water shoes because I
hiked to like waterfalls and bodies of water and I
(06:02):
jump in it doesn't matter how cold it is, I
jump in there. It's kind of cool to do it.
But this idea around loneliness is a real one, and
according to his advisory, it doesn't matter what the backgrounds are,
whether it's your age or social economic status or what
(06:25):
have you. The feeling of being isolated, invisible, and insignificant
were major themes, and I think in some of the
comments I think I've read people were making comments like
like I have to shoulder all of life burdens by myself,
or if I disappear tomorrow, no one will even notice.
(06:49):
And sometimes those comments like they sound kind of outrageous
and things.
Speaker 1 (06:53):
But just in my own.
Speaker 2 (07:00):
Before I get to that, I'm gonna come back to
that idea around if I disappear, no one will even notice.
But other things that were present in this report is
that the loneliness and isolation is harmful to both the
individual and to our society societal health, like we're not
(07:25):
meeting in groups of people and creating community and positive community.
And the risk that are associated with loneliness is similar
to those as if you you're smoking fifteen cigarettes a day.
So things like cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety, and
(07:49):
premature death, like all of those things are associated with
loneliness the same as if you were smoking fifteen cigarettes
a day. So this is something that is that needs
to be addressed. This panel that I set on, there
were representatives from different industries and things that kind of
(08:11):
spoke to some things that can that can be done,
and we'll get to that a little bit later, but.
Speaker 1 (08:19):
I wanted to talk a little bit.
Speaker 2 (08:22):
About this idea of how loneliness impacted my journey. And
you know, I live about maybe five or ten minutes
from my ex wife and where my and my kids
live with her, and I felt all the time like
(08:48):
I was super insignificant, even though the work I do
with Special Olympics, I'm traveling all over the country, I'm
attending different conferences, I'm speaking at conferences, I'm talking to
young people. I'm talking to schools and principals and teachers
and mayors and educator conferences and all these different kinds
of things. I noted, my kids love me. I do
(09:09):
to work with with the broadcast team, and so I
have guys around me, you know, during the football season.
Speaker 1 (09:16):
Especially every week.
Speaker 2 (09:17):
But even in those moments, and I can remember being
at a pregame show and all the fans are rolling in,
We're doing our thing, and I felt like I was
the only person in the room. And so the idea
of just feeling super small and insignificant is not lost
on me, because that's what I dealt with a lot.
Speaker 1 (09:38):
I used to tell.
Speaker 2 (09:41):
I would call my ex wife or send her a
text message or something just like in the middle of
the night to get her to respond, so that I
knew that someone knew that I was in the world,
because my greatest fear is that I.
Speaker 1 (09:56):
Was going to dialog.
Speaker 2 (09:57):
And if I live alone, I dialog. Who knows when
someone is gonna realize that they haven't talked to me
or they hadn't seen in a few days. And here
I am, like dead in the bed somewhere in my apartment.
So this idea around uh, feeling insignificant and small and
alone in the world and that if you disappeared, nobody
(10:20):
would even notice. Man, that was a real true battle
of mine. UH, And I had to work really hard
to reframe all of that and then realize the role
that I can play in UH and not being not
feeling insignificant or not feeling like no one saw me.
So like, for instance, all my kids are ill, young adults,
(10:45):
and they have cars, and they have lives, and they
have friends, and they have jobs, and so they have
a schedule that they're working and that they're doing. And
so for me to just think like, oh, they're gonna
think about Dad today, uh and come by the house.
Speaker 1 (11:00):
And then then when they wouldn't.
Speaker 2 (11:01):
I would get really frustrated, and so I had to
kind of start to reframe that and realize that, like, man,
they're adults, and they have lives, they have friends, and
so I need to work my schedule out and work
out with their schedule so I can get on their
schedule to do stuff, you know. And so I had
to do that, and it didn't feel right at first,
because I'm thinking, like, well, shoot, I'm your dad, Like
(11:22):
why wouldn't you think about me? Why wouldn't you come
by my house, Like you drive past my house, go
to the basketball court, Why don't you stop at my
house and you know, say hello or something. But you know,
I start thinking when I was at age and I
got my license and had a car to drive, and
I don't know how much time I spent with my dad,
Like I was out in those streets like doing whatever
(11:43):
I had to do, like playing hoops or going to
parties or hanging out with my buddies and things like that.
So I really had to change my approach to what
I thought was my loneliness to kind of I had
to engage the world around me versus waiting for the
world to engage me. And so that was a big
(12:04):
flip in my mindset, even you know, with the hiking
and things where I was. You know, one day I
went for this hike, I think I was deception passed.
I think Discovery part over in Seattle, and pretty much
walked the whole part, felt great, had a good time,
got in my car, drove home, feeling really good, windows
(12:27):
wide open, singing music, you know, as loud as I can.
Just feeling really good about this great hike I just met,
had met some people on the trail, talked about the
Seahawks a little bit, all this other kind of stuff.
As soon as I walked in the door. When I
got home, I was like, man, but I'm still here
by myself. And it wasn't like like this creepy thing,
(12:50):
like I need to have people around me or I'm
some type of loaner type of dude. It was just
it just felt like wow, Like I just felt like
I had the best experience of the day, you know,
of a weekend I could possibly have, and I come
home there's no one to share it with.
Speaker 1 (13:05):
You know.
Speaker 2 (13:05):
It got really frustrated, really angry, went into the dump
for about two or three days, just could not deal
with it. And then when I sold to my therapist,
she said, well, ray, how can you reframe that? And
reframing is a way to look at a situation and
see it in a different light, you know, see it
with different expectations and different emotions and things attached to it.
(13:29):
And so when I reframed it, I said, you know what,
I could have gotten home and said, like, man, I
got in. I mean I must have walked at least
ten miles round trip and got in, you met a
lot of cool people and had some good, great conversation
and had a good time. And I could have reframed
it as that and said, you know what, I'm going
to reward myself and I'm going to kick back on
(13:51):
the couch, have a couple of beers, watch some sporting events,
or watch a movie or whatever, or take a nap
or whatever, and rewarded myself in that situation and reframed
it that way versus framing it as well, here I
am coming home alone again. And so then what I
started doing after that was when I would go on
these hikes, about a mile before I got back to
(14:12):
my car, I would start reframing like, oh okay, like
I got this three mile hike in today. You know,
I jumped in the waterfall, had a great time. I'm
about to get in the car. I'm gonna go home.
I'm gonna grab ice cream cone on the way home.
And I get home, I'm gonna, you know, watch a
movie or go sit in the hot tub or whatever
it is. And so about a mile out I started
kind of reframing my experience so that when I got home,
(14:34):
I wasn't chalking it up as being lonely or been
insignificant or disappearing. So I know sometimes people will think
like that's some type of salt like fruity, kind of
hippy ish kind of a thing, but man, it can
be just the messages that you tell yourself can be
(14:58):
unbelievably powerful. And if you think about the conversations that
we have throughout the day, we have the most conversations
with ourselves, So like being kind to ourselves give you know,
speaking positive things to ourselves is important. And so that's
kind of part of what reframing is, and that kind
of speaks to some of this some of this loneliness
(15:20):
stuff that that the Surgeon General is talking about.
Speaker 1 (15:24):
And so when when you are.
Speaker 2 (15:33):
Faced with a lot of stuff that's going on in
your life, whether it's like relationships or work, or illness
or you know, death in the family, all these types
of things. When when the burdens of life are on
your shoulders and you start to feel this idea that
(15:53):
that you're all into this thing by yourself, that is
the first indication that to one reach out for help,
someone to speak to, or to practice this idea around reframing,
because it can really change how you think about it
and how you see it. Because the idea of loneliness
probably more than the anxiety, and more than the panic attacks,
(16:17):
and more than the depression that I was experiencing, the
idea of loneliness was so crippling, like I like, it
would stop me from doing a whole lot of things
because I just felt like nobody, nobody cared. I just
felt like I was in this in this world by myself,
you know, trying to figure out what tack was going
(16:40):
on with me, and uh, you know what, what else
what I was gonna you know, what I was going
to do.
Speaker 1 (16:45):
And so.
Speaker 2 (16:47):
It is to this day still, you know, and I've
and I figured out ways to work with it. One
of my biggest fears is dying alone like it is
and when I do research around, uh, this idea of
death and all these different kinds of things, that is
probably one of the greatest fears in our country for
people over forty. It's this idea around dying alone and
(17:09):
dyning a loon could mean like living in your been
by yourself and your home, or if you're in a
hospital and you're in the hospital bed and don't have
family around you. I'm doing a talk in October, October
twenty fifth, I think it is for the hospice Care
Center over at Evergreen Hospital, just on this idea of
(17:30):
showing up and how to show up in people's lives
in a way that that you help them live a
good life to the end. So I know it sounds
weird to think about this idea of loneliness and you
and like, the one thing I couldn't quite figure out
is like exactly how they measure it or judge it.
But they have some type of system where they were
(17:52):
measuring this idea around loneliness and it's a real thing,
and it's a real thing, uh in our country and
that we're dealing with. And even if you think about
like just our daily routines of things. Right, do you
think about our iPhone? I know that there's all types
(18:14):
of like literature around how they came up with the
name iPhone and what the eye stands for, but really,
if you look at it, it it it has turned
into like an ie me my thing. And so you
get you know, you go sit on a bus or
you go uh to an event and everybody's on their phones,
you know, experiencing this thing, you know, and by themselves,
(18:36):
even in a group of people on their phone. And
so there's a lot of things that kind of you know,
the technology and video games and streaming and all this
other kind of stuff pulls us away from community, which
then encourages more of this idea around uh, around loneliness.
Speaker 1 (18:54):
And so at this panel they had they had four.
Speaker 2 (19:07):
Industries represented. One was UH, the film industry, one was
the music industry, one was the food industry, and then
UH and then the sports industry. And what the Surgeon
General was trying to emphasize is that there used to
be a time in our in our in our culture
(19:27):
where those things were guaranteed to bring people together and
bring and build community around them.
Speaker 1 (19:35):
And in that community even.
Speaker 2 (19:36):
For that you know, four hour football game or two
hour movie or three hour concert, you were you had
a group of people that you were in tune with,
that you were belonging to, that you had created community with,
even in those you know, even if it's just for
a short period of time.
Speaker 1 (19:53):
And so the.
Speaker 2 (19:53):
Panelists were talking about, uh, the different the different ways
that those industries have been impacted, and so I want
to share some of those with you. But before we
get to that, I want to the Mindful Therapy Group,
based in the Pacific Northwest, is a diverse group of
qualified mental health providers offering both in person and virtual care,
(20:17):
whether it's talk therapy or medication management. You can book
your first visit within one week. Visit Mindful Therapygroup dot
com to start your journey to better mental health today.
And like I said, the mental health the Mental Therapy
Group was just awarded Entrepreneurs of the Year by ernstin
Young's Entrepreneur Program. So good shout out to them and
(20:40):
great people. But getting back to these four connection points,
so these community building points places, and so what I
took from the panel was was two words say yes.
And so what I mean by that the guy from
(21:03):
the music industry was talking about how streaming and uh
technology and uh you know, being able to have your
iPods and I mean your earbuds and your music on
by yourself and experiencing it that way, you know, other
than maybe going to like a Taylor Swift event or
something even music and it you know has you know,
(21:23):
there's been some benefit and some I don't call it
back negative impact of all the online stuff. The benefit
is that you can get your if you're artist, your
music can reach more people because you can do a
live you can post it on social media or you
can do a live show on social media, and more
and more people can have access to it. But then
(21:44):
the negative part of that is those people that are
having access to it aren't going out to the to
the venues to see stuff. And when I say, like
you know, the music industry, some people automatically think of
like maybe a Taylor Swift conscert where it probably costs
fifteen hundred dollars to go to it, or Beyonce where
(22:05):
you know, like like a ticket like above the Nosebleeds
Nosebleeds is like a thousand dollars, Like, yes, that is
a deterrent as well, of getting out in public. However,
there are a lot of smaller venues and smaller shows
that are happening all the time. My girlfriend Emily McIntosh
(22:26):
is an entertainer and she does shows.
Speaker 1 (22:29):
All over Seattle, all of the.
Speaker 2 (22:30):
Different wineries, different clubs, different venues, and so you can
go out and support local artists that way. But there
are opportunities to not have to go to the big
Huges concerts, but go to other shows where you're getting
you know, grab another family with you, grab another friend
with you, go out, get out, build some community and
(22:52):
say yes to go into it. There's a website called
today tics dot com, so is t O d A
Y t i X dot com and uh. There they
have a list of just about any type of size
show and tickets for free and for for charge of
any type of musical uh music that you want to
(23:14):
see uh in the Seattle area, whether there's the big
shows that are coming to town or like there was
there's a candlelight It's called like a candlelight series where
they have like all these candles lit and uh someone
is performing like a like this one lady did all
adell songs, which is pretty cool. We went to another
one where it was at one of the wineries and
(23:35):
in Woodenville where all the candles are lit and everything,
and it was a stringed or group, so it's like
a violin, a cello, I think of viola and something else.
But they did all Beyonce music and so it was
really cool and it was it was super inexpensive. The
tickets weren't you know, fifty, you know, five hundred dollars,
(23:57):
but it's a really cool experience. You got like a
free bottle of wine for attending, so you had wine
to drink during the show. It's a very romantic kind
of a thing. So there's all types of things you
can get to and go to and be in community
community with other people around something that you're interested in.
So when it comes to you know, finding these events
(24:17):
and these venues and things, say yes to them. Say yes,
I'm going to go, even if it's just you know,
something you do once every two or three months, but
get out, bring friends with you. Say yes to music,
say less yes to live music. Say yes to you
know shows that are you know, these specialty shows and
not just like the big acts that come to town
(24:38):
and are at Lumenfield or Climate Pledge, Like, obviously, do
those if that's what you want to do, But I'm
just saying that there are smaller, less expensive things to
do where you can have the same type of enjoyment.
You can enjoy unbelievable live music with your friends and
have a good time. The second industry was the food industry,
which is really interesting because the expert on the panel
(25:01):
was talking about back in the day, when you found
a really cool restaurant a bar you couldn't wait to go,
then grab your friends and say like, hey, like this,
I found us a new spot for food or a
new spot for drinks.
Speaker 1 (25:13):
Whatever.
Speaker 2 (25:14):
Next weekend or the next couple of days or whatever,
let's all go down to this spot. Well, that doesn't
happen as much anymore. What happens is folks will go
to a popular bar or restaurant, take pictures of the
food or the drink, post it on social media, and
then they feel as if they've shared it with everybody,
(25:35):
even though they've only shared that experience by themselves. And
then even on top of that, sometimes they're not even
eating the food or drinking a drink. They're just taking
the picture to say that they were there and they
ordered it, and then they're moving on to the next thing,
and so all of that is still in isolation. So again,
I say say yes to go into that neighborhood bar,
Say yes to go on to that restaurant in downtown
(25:58):
Seattle or Bellevue or Kirklan or Woodenville or you know
wherever it is you live Tacoma. Say yes to grabbing
some friends and going like, hey, like, let's go watch
the game at the at the at the at the
bar or whatever, or let's go I heard that they
had great pizza or great burgers or great steaks or
whatever it is, and let's take a group of people
down to it and say yes. Because when you say
(26:20):
yes to that, you're saying yes to community. And if
you're saying yes to community, then you're giving yourself a
chance to build the relationships that you need that can
that that that are there to prove that you are
significant and that people do show up for you, and
that you can start to have relationships where you can share,
(26:41):
uh you, your vulnerable self with them and have people
to walk.
Speaker 1 (26:45):
Through life with.
Speaker 2 (26:46):
But you can't do it if you're just staying at
home and I'm and I'm telling you I was that dude.
Like if it wasn't doing the broadcasts for the sale games,
I was at home. I didn't go out much, go
out to eat much. I didn't do to the movies.
I didn't do much with anybody. I stayed by myself
a lot, and it was killing me, like spiritually, physically, mentally,
(27:11):
the whole nine I was dying because I was choosing
to allow this idea around loneliness keep me in the home.
So say yes to the music, say yes to the food,
and going out and hanging out and having a good
time with your friends. The third one is called was
the film industry. Well, we know that like in the
(27:33):
film industry, you have all the platforms like Netflix and
everybody else that is streaming, you know, Paramount TV, like
you know, all the different streaming services where you can
watch every movies that are currently in the theater a
lot of times, so there's no need to leave the theater,
and so you stay at home and you and you
watch the movies and that's cool, but when you really
(27:55):
think about it, like, man, there's nothing like sitting in
those big cushy chairs having popcorn with way too much
butter on it and having a soda that's way too
big for you to be drinking, like just making a.
Speaker 1 (28:08):
Diabetic out of all of us.
Speaker 2 (28:10):
But uh, and then Ben, it's dark, it's a little
bit chilly in the theater and the big huge screen,
like I don't care, like unless you you know, have
like a big, huge movie theater in your house, which
some people do. Man, you don't get that even off
your seventy five inch TV screen. Like it's just different.
And so when there's a great movie out and it's
(28:33):
gotten great reviews, or there's an actor or actress in
it that you like, or it's a remake of something
that you've that you've that you saw in the past, Man,
say yes, say yes to grabbing some friends and saying, hey,
we're gonna grab some popcorn, grabbing your kids and say
we're gonna go grab some popcorn and uh and some
soda and a whole bunch of candy, and we're gonna
(28:54):
sit in these really comfortable chairs even something now that
have like the actual speakers in the chairs so you
can feel like all the movement in the movie, you
can fill it in your body as you're watching it,
Like all those different things. Short story about the movie
theater for all you dads out there to have young kids,
one of my little I don't know. I thought I
(29:14):
was being tricky, but maybe people knew what I was
doing the whole time. But I would always try to
give my wife a break, and I'm like, hey, you
know what, I'm gonna take the kids in the movies.
You just go just have a day to yourself. And
what that really meant was the kids are gonna be
watching me and the movies because I'm going to sleep
for those two hours in the theater it.
Speaker 1 (29:36):
Got dark and cold.
Speaker 2 (29:37):
I was getting some little, nice, little bonus points because
I was creating time for my wife to kind of
go do her thing watching the kids. But man, I
was sleeping like a mug up in there. Like the
kids will be like, eh, bow me, Like Dad, you're snoring.
I'm like, oh, my bad. And then I have to
wake up and be like, hey, what's happening in the movie, dad,
You're talking too loud? Like all these different kinds of things.
But I used to use a movie theater to get sleep, honestly,
(30:00):
like I would I would do that. I thought I
was like being slick about it. I'm sure my my
wife at the time probably knew what was going down.
But uh, because I took the case for a lot
of movies. But but getting back to this idea around loneliness,
say yes, say yes to go on and send the
new blockbuster movie in the theaters because you're also supporting
(30:20):
like your local businesses and and things like that. But uh,
but you also have another chance to build the build community.
And then when it comes to the to the last one.
Oh then also uh, this expert on the panel in
the film industry was saying, in Seattle, uh, there are
always film festivals going on all year long. Almost every month,
(30:41):
there's a different type of film festival happening in the
Seattle area, whether it's around like different cultures or different
themes or or different uh uh you know things in life.
There's there's these film festivals that are going on all
the time and different different sized movie theaters. And so
(31:02):
if you go to SIF dot net, s I f
F dot net, uh, you can find where all of
these film festivals are happening, and where all the shows
and what they're about, and all these different kinds of things.
So say yes to that, grab some friends and say
yes and go go see a super cultural like movie
about uh, you know, some other country or or people
(31:24):
or that's different to you, and maybe you learn something
from it. But but take the chance and invite other
people and encourage them to say yes, because you're saying
yes to build a community. And then the last one
was myself. And forget the young lady's last name, but Brittany.
She plays for the women's soccer Professional Soccer League.
Speaker 1 (31:43):
Here.
Speaker 2 (31:45):
Uh, we were representing the sports side of thing. And
when you think about it, like you know, the technology
and streaming and stuff is taking advantage of is impacting
it as well. I mean you can watch, you know,
if you get the Sunday ticket, and I know the
prices are sky high, but you can watch every single
NFL football game from your home on your computer, sitting
(32:07):
on the plane, sitting in the airport, like wherever you are,
sitting at the beach, if you have the Wi Fi connection,
you can get to all those games and more so
than any other time in history. To me, if it's
a sporting event and they can broadcast at a stream
it live, it doesn't matter if people are sitting in
the stands, they're gonna play it. Because people will sit
(32:30):
and watch it. And if you're sitting and watching it,
then they get a chance to do all the commercials
and advertising. And if you're not clicking off during all
that time, that's money for everybody. And it's all based
on you not leaving your home and so, and if
you're doing that, then that just promotes more isolation and
this filling the loneliness. So say yes when someone says like, hey,
(32:51):
I have two extra tickets to the Storm game, or
I have two extra tickets to the Seahawks game, or hey,
let's go buy some nosebleeds, you know, before the game
and go watch. Say yes to all of that you'll
say yes to. Like for me, I go to high
school sports like it. Like I Football is football is football,
basketball is basketball is basketball, and it's very inexpensive. And
(33:15):
so I go a lot of Woodville High School men's
and women's basketball games, and I go to some Woodenville
High School football games, even though my kids have graduated school.
But I like the community of it. I like saying
the competitiveness of it. I like being there live and
in person and saying it. Obviously I'm at the Seaalk
games when they're at home because I'm doing the broadcast thing.
But there are so many ways to enjoy and build
(33:38):
community around these four different things. To film, food, music,
and sports without having to spend a whole ton of
money because there's so many other ways to do it.
So you don't have to go to the Seaalk football game.
There's there's some really good high school football in this area.
So you know, watch the news and find out what
the game of the week is. Usually those are two
(33:58):
very good football teams. Go to the game, grab some people,
be in community, cheer some folks on find it, have
an opportunity to meet someone and build a community, build
some relationships, and then you can defeat this idea around
around loneliness. So saying yes to getting out of the house,
(34:20):
saying yes to going on a hike, saying yes to
going on a little ride, saying yes to taking your
family and some friends on a staycation. Uh, you know,
saying yes to man like if you I think it
was last year, I pulled up to my kid's house
and then the cul de sac. Everyone had just put
their chairs in the cul de sac and they were
(34:42):
every The adults were sharing glasses of wine and the
kids were drinking sodas and running around and playing little
games and stuff like that. There's a little bit of
a music music plan and that didn't cost anything. They
just pulled their rolled the chairs out to the cul
de sac, sat out in the cul de sac, and
was in conversation and community with the people around them.
So you can say yes to defeating loneliness without having
(35:04):
to come out in the pocket. Really really deep. And
so to me, there's a lot of things maybe I'll
put up on the posting of this the the link
to the Surgeon General's advisory, but even in advisory they
(35:26):
give some more examples of things to do to say
yes to, to get out of the house and build
community and how to defeat this idea around loneliness. The
last thing that I will that I want to talk
about is during our panel discussion. You know, loneliness also,
(35:47):
like we just said, it has all this impact on
your cardiovascular system, the heart disease, cancer, all that, but
it also has a major impact on your mental health.
And so that was another reason that I was on
the panel was to speak to that a little bit.
And the Surgeon General kept bringing up this idea around
vulnerability in.
Speaker 1 (36:07):
The locker room.
Speaker 2 (36:08):
And I can tell by the way that he was
phrasing the question that he's saying, like, how did how
do your teammates respond to this weakness? Because that's how
we view vulnerability. And so I had an opportunity to
kind of speak to what my thoughts are and perspective
(36:31):
are around vulnerability. And so I said to him, I said,
the thing that's really interesting about vulnerability in our culture,
and it needs a bit of a reframe because when
you're being vulnerable, you're choosing to share with someone else
(36:51):
your deepest, darkest secrets, fears, failures, and you know, and
things that aren't great in your life, struggles like you're
choosing to say, I'm at a point where I need
(37:12):
to offload this with someone so that I can find
space to breathe, so I can find space to live again.
It takes a tremendous amount of courage, strength and trust
to do that. There is nothing weak about it, like
(37:32):
to think that being vulnerable, being vulnerable maybe speaking of
a weakness, but it doesn't speak to your weakness that
you are weak by speaking to it.
Speaker 1 (37:46):
It takes strength to do that.
Speaker 2 (37:49):
For me to be this guy who at one point
in my life was, you know, three hundred and thirty
pounds I could bench press. I think my max bench
press is like five hundred and fifty pounds. I think
my max squat was seven or eight or nine hundred pounds.
Like I'm blocking three hundred pounds dudes for a living.
Speaker 1 (38:09):
You know, I must.
Speaker 2 (38:10):
Have played one hundred and twenty seven something games sixty
plays a game doing all that for a living. And
I had to tell someone I cannot even turn the doorknob.
A doorknob might weigh a pound and it would defeat
me every time. It takes a lot of strength to
say that. It takes a lot of strength for me
to say, you know what, Like I was curled up
(38:31):
on the couch in between calls, crying, punching the couch,
not knowing what was going to happen, putting blankets and
towels and stuff all over the windows to keep everything dark.
It when you if you know me, if you see
me in public, you would have never thought that. So
it took a lot of strength and courage for me
to get to the point where I'm like, I need
to talk to someone about this. And on the flip
(38:52):
side of that is if you are the person that
someone has chosen, someone has come to you and said,
I want to share, I want to be vulnerable with you,
you should take it as a badge of honor because
what they're saying is that in my life, you are
(39:14):
a safe person. You are a safe person place for
me to come to to share these things. So, then,
in that respect, if you are if you are receiving,
if you are sitting in someone's vulnerability, it also takes strength,
and it also takes trust, and it also takes courage
because you have to have the strength to be able
(39:34):
to sit in it and not feel like you have
to fix it, but be able to be supportive and
courage maybe point someone in the right direction. If you
have some words that can help, that's great. But your
reasoning for ben there isn't always to fix things. It's
to allow people to get things off their chests, to
say it out loud, to then start to come up with.
Speaker 1 (39:54):
A plan to move forward.
Speaker 2 (39:56):
So it takes strength for you to be able to
sit in there, and it takes courage for you to
do and then you have to trust yourself that you
will not then weaponize this information, that then you will
not hold this over a person, that you will not
use it for your gain, but that you will hold
it like a like a like the gift that it
is like the most precious gift you've ever been given.
(40:18):
You have to be able to hold someone's vulnerability like that,
and that takes strength and courage and trust. And so
there's nothing about this whole concept of vulnerability on either
side of it. Whether you're the person being vulnerable or
you're the person that is sitting in someone's vulnerability, it
is nothing but strength and power. And for most people
(40:39):
it is the first step to their healing. And so
if you deny someone that by judging them or calling
them solved or calling them weak, like, then I have
to question your humanity because you're not sending the humanness
in them, Like if since someone's humanity and showing up
(41:01):
for someone is going to always be transitional, like I'll
show up for you. If that means I'm going to
get something out of it, then, man, what does that
say about our culture? What does it say about who
we are? What does it say about us as people?
What does it say about whoever it is that you
see as your higher power that is larger than your life.
What does it say about your approach to all of that?
Speaker 1 (41:23):
Man? It does to me.
Speaker 2 (41:24):
It doesn't speak speak volumes. But if you can say
yes to being vulnerable, if you can say yes to
be in someone's safe place, man, that's where life is.
That's how you help people move from point A to
point B. And maybe that's only that's Maybe your job
is just to get them from point A to point B.
And if someone else gets them from point B to
C and C to D, and then you've helped them
start this journey. But if it if I didn't have
(41:47):
people that showed up in my life that way, man,
I promise you I would not be sitting here doing
this podcast. And for me, those people were my ex
wife Beth, Sandy Gregory who used to work for the
for the Sea Hawks, and then the lady from the
NFL Trust, Danielle Foreman. Those three people showed up for
(42:09):
me in ways that kind of got me on this
journey to this healing and getting myself off the couch,
out of the house, out of this mindset of loneliness
and anxiety and depression and all those kinds of things.
And if they had looked at what was going on,
in my life and thought like, well, man, like you're
just you know, look at all these things you've done
in your life, and you just you know, gladiator football player, dude,
(42:31):
Like you shouldn't cry, you shouldn't have feelings, you shouldn't bleed,
all these different kinds of things. Then I would not
have gotten I would not have found the help that
I needed. But those three people showed up. They've all
been safe places for me to share, and then there
in their own right, they pointed me in the direction
I should go. Beth didn't know exactly what to do,
(42:53):
so she called Sandy Gregory. Sandy Gregory knew of some
resources that the NFL had, so she called Danielle. Daniel
Foreman at the Trust had access to all the research,
I mean, all the resources and said.
Speaker 1 (43:05):
Okay, rap, here's here's the place you should start.
Speaker 2 (43:08):
And so they got me to the After the Impact
program in Manchester, Michigan that the that was sponsored and
paid for by the NFL. And through that program I
found the healing that I needed. And so, like I said,
being vulnerable to Beth, she didn't have to solve the problem,
but she pointed me in the right direction. And then
(43:28):
Sandy heard my story and then she had a little
bit more information in Beth, and she pointed me to
the next person, and then that person got me to
where I needed to go. So show up in people's life.
The power of showing up is unbelievable. And showing up,
it's interesting. Like the talk I'm doing in October is
titled the power showing Up, and so I've researched all
the different words in that phrase, the power of showing up.
(43:51):
And so power is like you have like the ability,
you have the necessary and you have the means, you
have the what it requires to do what it is
that you have to do. And then showing up in
the sense of showing up for other people means that
you're showing up with intention and you're showing up with
purpose for someone else. So when you say that someone
(44:13):
has the power, when you have the power to show up,
you have the ability to be purposeful and intentional and
showing up for someone else. And to me, that speaks
to humanity. And if you if you don't have that,
then man, like maybe you need some help on your own.
And I'm not saying that that that that's not that's
a bad thing. But I'm just saying if you, if
(44:34):
you in your life don't have people that can show
up for you, and you can show up for people,
and it doesn't have to be a big, major life
changing things, but you can show up for people when
they're in crisis, or they're in struggle, or they're feeling lonely,
or they're just in a tough spot in their life.
When you when you can show up for them like that,
that is a powerful thing. That is a humanity thing.
That is a like living for something greater than yourself thing.
(45:00):
It's a selfless, sacrificial thing, and we should all be
willing to both be vulnerable and also be a safe
person for other people to show up. I know that
that's probably not as long as episode as we normally have,
(45:22):
but I just want you to know that.
Speaker 1 (45:26):
In this our culture of.
Speaker 2 (45:29):
My generation of I just turned fifty five a couple
of weeks ago, and so people around my age mid
forties around this whole idea of calling our young people
soft or are not tough and we were tougher and
all these other kinds of things. Man, you are doing
(45:49):
humanity a disservice by doing that, Because there are people
who are afraid to say what's going on in their lives,
and so they are literally dying and lonely. They're dying
in isolation, and they're dying in silence because we are
silencing them by saying like, oh, if you if you
share this, or you think that, or you're feeling this thing,
(46:10):
then you're being a soft your cupcake, all these different
kinds of things. And like we shared in the in
the previous podcast, there's a lot of men that live
and think that way, and but men that are over
forty commit suicide at a rate four times greater than women.
And so the idea of holding your holding on to
(46:33):
this idea of toughness, it's killing people, it is, It
is really killing people. So I'm not saying that you
have to go out and cry, cry a river and
all that other kind of stuff, But man, if you
are in a place of crisis, if you're in a
place of struggle, if you're in a place of mental
anguish and you feel like you can't fight your way
(46:54):
out of a wet paper bag, you better reach out
to somebody there there you can. If there's a there's
different types of crisis line. I think it's nine to
eight eight is the suicide UH lifeline that you can call,
but you can also call that line if you're just
in crisis. It doesn't necessarily mean that you're about to
cause harm to yourself, but obviously if you are, that's
a number to call. But there are people that are
(47:17):
willing to help. And mental health is becoming more and
more mainstream. And if you can get yourself out of
the mindset that that sharing how you feel and needing
help for how you feel is a weakness and that
means that you're not tough, then you can get the
help that you need. UH.
Speaker 1 (47:33):
It's no different than our physical health.
Speaker 2 (47:36):
If you break your leg, you're gonna go to the doctor.
If you get some type of cold or some other
type of UH illness, you're gonna you're gonna go to
the doctor and get what you need to heal yourself.
Speaker 1 (47:46):
Well.
Speaker 2 (47:46):
Our mentals get broken sometimes and UH and they need
heal And there are people that are willing, ready and
able to help you. So again I want to thank
you guys for tuning in and for listening. I hope
that that you will say yes two more things that
will get you out in the community and build some
(48:08):
give you an opportunity to build relationships and want to
give another shout out to Derek and Jessica Crane for
the Mental Health Mindful Therapy group and and all the
things that they've that they've done. Hopefully we're going to
have Derek on h for an interview probably near the
end of July. I think he's on the road. They
have a couple other places UH to open up, so
(48:28):
stay tuned for that. And like always, if it is
okay to not be okay, if you're experiencing a mental
health crisis, reach out to your health care provider for
assistance or guidance. So you can also dial nine eight
eight for the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline and then number
three when you need help and you ask for help,
you're operating from a position of power. So that's it
(48:51):
from me, Big Ray, thank you for tuning in. Until
next time, peace and am out.
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