103. A Deep Dive into the Self-Sacrifice Schema

Send us a text

This episode will resonate with anyone struggling with an overdeveloped sense of responsibility to others and those who feel “stuck” in cycles of overgiving. 

In this solo episode, Gemma dives deep into the self-sacrifice schema, exploring how it manifests, its origins in family dynamics, and the toll it takes on those who constantly prioritize others over themselves. This schema, often seen in people who struggle with setting boundaries, can lead to burnout, resentment, and a diminished sense of self-worth.

Gemma delves into the drama triangle—the roles of victim, rescuer, and persecutor—and explains how these dynamics often shape and reinforce the self-sacrifice schema. Additionally, she examines the enmeshment schema, which often appears alongside self-sacrifice, further complicating one’s ability to differentiate personal needs from the needs of others.

Topics covered include:

• Defining the Self-Sacrifice Schema: How it drives people to prioritize others’ needs over their own, even to their detriment.
• Origins of the Schema: Common family dynamics that foster self-sacrifice, such as growing up with an over-entitled or narcissistic parent, or being cast into the rescuer role in the drama triangle.
• The Schema's Impact on Relationships: Why those with a strong self-sacrifice schema often attract self-absorbed partners and struggle to set boundaries.
• Enmeshment and Self-Sacrifice: How enmeshment can fuel self-sacrifice by creating a sense of responsibility for others’ emotions and well-being.
• Schemas and Coping Styles: Different coping modes, including surrendering to, avoiding, or overcompensating for the schema.
• The Role of Guilt and Empathic Distress: How these emotions fuel self-sacrifice behaviors and make it difficult to prioritize self-care.
• Practical Exercises: Techniques like chair work to identify core beliefs tied to self-sacrifice and to build a healthier relationship with oneself.

Support the show

Love Wisely. Something new from Gemma - Express your interest or find out more about joining a special founding round of my new group program - Love Wisely. You can express your interest here.

Help support our continued production. Are you a regular listener who loves our show? Consider supporting us with a contribution each month to help us keep going!

🔗 Schema Circle Vault – Get your essential schema therapy resources here!

Good Mood Hub
goodmood.com.au
Instagram
Facebook

The Red Flag Project
theredflagproject.com
Instagram
Facebook
Email: [e-mail]
https://linktr.ee/theredflagproject
Resources for women to break free from negative relationship patterns and avoid red-flag r...