May 12, 2025 • 43 mins
Three sisters sit down to share their family's rich maternal legacy in this touching Mother's Day special. Known as "Gwen's Girls," Tina, Gina, and Ericka open their hearts about the women who shaped them – from their beloved grandmother "Bigga Mama" to their resilient mother (Gwen) who raised them as a single parent.
The conversation takes us into the kitchens and living rooms where family traditions were forged. We hear about a grandmother who always had "Love in a pot" to share, who could produce a meal for unexpected visitors at a moment's notice, and whose look from the choir stand could quiet misbehaving children in the back of the church. The sisters reveal how daily visits to their great-grandmother's house after school, followed by time at their grandmother's home, created a multi-generational support system that taught them the value of family bonds.
Prayer emerges as the central pillar of their family's approach to life's challenges. One sister recalls the scent of cinnamon on the stove signaling her great-grandmother was praying over adult children facing difficulties. This practice of turning to faith during trials was passed down through generations, becoming their own response to hardship: "We fall down, but we get up."
As they reflect on motherhood today, the sisters don't hold back their concerns about cultural shifts away from family-centered values. They discuss how contemporary emphasis on individual achievement often leaves children "crying out for mothers" in a way that reveals a profound societal need. Yet their message remains hopeful as they share advice for today's mothers: lean on God to help raise your children, express pride in your children's efforts, and trust divine timing for life's seasons.
What makes their story especially poignant is how they now care for their mother (Gwen), who suffers from dementia – completing a circle of care that spans generations. Join us for this heartfelt conversation about family legacy, resilience, and the enduring strength found in maternal love. How might your own family traditions shape future generations?
Thank you for listening! YouTube - @3KeysforYourJourney -Tune in for a new episode every Sunday. Connect with us at www.ocfo.info
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Speaker 1 (00:13):
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(00:36):
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Greg Jones (00:40):
All right, my host, greg Jones, for your three keys
for your journey.
We have a special, a specialspecial Mother's Day event.
Gwen's Girls that's what we'retalking to.
Gwen's Girls Tina, gina andErica, erica being the youngest,
who's my wife?
And then we have these other twothat three years apart, that
(01:01):
right yes okay, three yearsapart and, um, I got a special
edition today, so we're gonnaget a chance to really think
about some oral history, somebackground motherhood journey,
resilience and strength, andjust kind of have them share,
from their own words, somethings about, um, mother's day
and some advice and all thatgood stuff.
(01:23):
So let's go, let's get started.
I mean, okay, when y'all thinkabout mother's Day, I know kind
of, as I came into the family,you know, I thought about your
grandparents and particularlyMother's Day, bigger Mama, which
would be your mother's mother,right, yes.
So tell me a little bit who is.
(01:43):
Who is Bigger Mama?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Well, I'll start.
I gave her that name, big Mama,because I had so many other
grandparents and grandmothersand they already had a different
name, so to keep it separate, Icame up with the name Big Mama,
even though she was not a bigperson.
I called her Big Mama becausein my young mind she was the
(02:07):
bigger mother than my own mother, and so it stuck obviously, and
we use that name veryaffectionately today.
Greg Jones (02:16):
What I thought was also interesting.
Then her then husband wascalled Bigger Daddy.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yes.
Greg Jones (02:21):
So it's Bigger Mama and Bigger Daddy?
Yes, Was it for the same reason?
I mean it just kind of workedso yeah, bigger Mama and Bigger
Daddy.
Yes, so it was Bigger Mama andBigger Daddy, yes, was it for
the same reason?
I mean?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
it just kind of worked yeah.
Greg Jones (02:28):
Bigger Mama and Bigger Daddy.
Okay, gina, what was your,what's some of your memories of
Bigger Mama, bigger Daddy,particularly Bigger Mama, since
his mother's day?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Bigger Mama, best friend, that was my ace, if you
would say, but I knew she was mygrandmother.
But the relationship we had wasdifferent.
I knew I felt super comfortable, comfortable always going to
talk to her, and the look shewould give me when I would go
into my mode like Gina prayabout, gina, pray about it.
(03:00):
And that was just the closenessthat we had that's good.
Greg Jones (03:06):
Yeah, that's good.
I got another thought, but letme go to erica first.
What was some of your thoughtsabout big mama?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I would say big mama was one of the just the
cornerstones of our family.
She was one of the pillars inour family and I remember just
the cooking, the you know raisinpies, sweet potato pies, just
um her love in a pot that shewould um just share, you know
(03:36):
share.
And so I um remember that Um,and I also remember that she was
just a serving person, one ofthe things I remember.
She was always prepared Ifsomeone came and visited her.
I mean she could just, you know, come up with a meal, you know
(03:59):
something to you know to shareand to give, and so that's a
little bit of what I remember.
Greg Jones (04:08):
As you think about traditions and values.
Obviously, one of the questionsthat I'd asked was name some of
the women in your life thathave shaped your life, and
obviously she was, uh, a bigpart of that and one of those.
What and you meant you startedtalking about that, erica, but
just in general, for any of youlike was some of the traditions
and values that that you got achance to participate in, and it
(04:32):
may not just be specific to BigMama, but what are some things
that just come to your mind?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
We used to.
Of course, you know we would goto my grandmother's house
holidays, and even as childrenwe went there just about every
day because of just the way ourroutine was.
But before we would go to herhouse, we would go to her
mother's house, and so familybecame very key to us.
(05:02):
It was a part of our lives.
We didn't know anythingdifferently.
So when we would get out ofschool we would go to my
great-grandmother's house and mygreat-grandfather was alive too
, but we always referred to itas her house because of the love
and the involvement andeverything that she did.
It kind of centered around her,and so we would go down there,
(05:23):
and so after we would leavethere, my mom pick us up, we go
to my grandmother's house, hermother's house, and so for us
the legacy of mothers was reallybig, and so we had some big
shoes to walk in because wewatched what they did in our
lives.
And so for us it became aboutoh, they've gone on, now it's,
(05:48):
it's our turn, you know.
And so we we recognize that andwe didn't see it then so much
as we do now.
Greg Jones (05:55):
It feels like to.
I remember, uh, you tell meyour thoughts.
There were traditions like umwere there certain days of the
week like y'all would go.
I mean like it feels like therewere.
There were these things thatwould just happen, not just on
holidays but like during theweek.
What were some of thosetraditions?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
well, one of the things that I think about is, um
, the way we celebrated family.
You know, grandma and papa had12 kids.
Two died at, you know, veryyoung, but out of the 10, they
had a lot.
They ended up with a lot of youknow grandchildren, and then,
of course, we were greats, andso the family always came around
(06:40):
and met down there at theirhouse, and so we knew, at
certain certain points in theyear, you could expect that the
family was going to be downthere, you know.
And so after a while, you haveso many people there that half
of us had to be outside becauseit was just too many of us for
that little house, you know, andwe knew the family just
(07:02):
automatically surrounded thathome, that family it was.
It was just interestingwatching the clans, you know,
come down there their 10 kidsand then they bring their kids
and then, after a while, theirkids started having kids.
And then, before long, it wastoo many of us, you know, but it
(07:23):
was something about this homehere is is everything stops here
and starts here, and so we umwe.
We knew that you didn't havethat option.
We're there.
Greg Jones (07:38):
That's good, yeah, so Gina tell me, I mean, I know
in some of our latter years likethere was a Sunday routine,
like every Sunday I went tochurch together.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Yes, what was that?
Greg Jones (07:46):
like.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I enjoyed it.
Good question it's.
Just hanging out with her andjust being in her presence was a
blessing for me.
She taught me a lot.
I learned a lot.
I'm the kind of one that's whyI come that family is so
important to me.
Traditions is important to me,because that's what I got from
(08:10):
her.
Moving around, with her goingin, we always made sure she
checked on everybody and so youknow, that's just kind of some
of the things I picked on ischecking up on everybody, trying
to make sure everything is okay, and you never knew if
something was going on with her.
You know, so it was.
It was just kind of the thingand I, and sometimes I see
(08:31):
myself like, oh, how did mygrandmother do this?
This is cause I I kinda don'tbuild myself, I try to be her,
but I, I I value so much of whatshe done and instilled in me
that I tried to keep it going asfar as it led, even telling my
daughter, my granddaughter youknow, this is what we do.
Family's important.
Greg Jones (08:50):
You know you have to know about your family because
this is all you have is yourfamily, which is that kind of
how you're, because you have asaying right or you post a
saying all the time.
Is that where that came from?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
that's where it came from what is that saying?
Greg Jones (09:03):
family first love minds okay, eric, how about you?
What?
What comes to your mind as itthinks about traditions and
values, as it relates to yourmom or your grandmother?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I think one of the things that I think about is
just serving.
I think about when we weregrowing up, there were I don't
know what the correct word is,but there were family
partnerships, what the correctword is but they were family
(09:37):
partnerships.
You never felt like there waslack, because someone you know,
someone, was always filling inthe gaps.
And so I, you know, Iappreciate that.
I just thankful for you knowjust even her serving attitude
and just how she lived life, andI think that's a huge part of
(09:58):
me and why I like to serve.
I think being in the backgroundis, to me, the most humbling
thing, because when you serveothers, I think it's just good
for the heart, it keeps youhumble and it helps you to
(10:19):
remain grounded that you neverstart to look so high, you know,
of yourself than you should,and so that's some of the things
that I think about.
Greg Jones (10:33):
That's awesome.
So now, now all three of youhave are mothers yourself.
So I'd love to just kind ofpick your brain and I guess,
erica, I'll ask you thisquestion.
You know how did, how did youfeel when you first became a
mother?
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Ooh, ooh.
I was thankful.
Um, we went through, you know alittle, you know some, some
trials during that time.
I don't want to go too muchinto it because it's a long
story, but you know we had to gothrough a process to have, you
(11:05):
know, have children and um, justI think, when I think about
that process and everything thatwe had to go through, and you
know you put so much faith inwhat man could do, but with God
it always through that process,it always came back to I still
(11:43):
have to trust God.
I still have to lean on himbecause he's the only one that
can provide that.
The doctors could do all theycan do, but yet I still have to
trust God because God gives theyes and he gives the no, and so
just going through all of thatand just the support from you, I
think that was encouraging toofor our marriage.
So when we had our first child,I was elated.
(12:08):
Yes, I was elated.
I was thankful that I had anopportunity to be on that
journey.
Greg Jones (12:17):
Which is interesting because it was right before
Mother's Day, if I don'tremember right.
That's another fond memorybecause, then I remember Nate
and Tina.
There was a tornado and, ohLord, that's a whole nother
story.
I do remember all that.
Oh Lord, that's a whole notherstory.
I do remember all that.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Tina, what was one of the most joyful memories you
had of you and your childrenwhen they were young, I think,
recognizing their interests andgiftings, just seeing the little
people that they were becomingin front of me.
It was just cool watching thatand then recognizing how do I
help them develop.
(13:00):
That I've always kind of beeninto this development thing, you
know, and I didn't know it.
You know and recognize it untilI reflect back and I think I've
always done it.
I did it with my own children.
I remember when, when they wentto kindergarten, I wasn't sad,
I was excited.
A lot of women, you know, theycry and they talk about my check
(13:21):
, my baby's going to school.
I was like I want to see howthey're going to do, I want to
see how, if they, if what we'vetaught them, if they're going to
make it, you know, and so I wasexcited about that.
But I was just really loving tosee and I still watch my kids,
loving to see how they develop.
Greg Jones (13:45):
That's good.
So y'all think about it.
Anybody can take this questionhow has motherhood changed?
I mean, you talk about, you,talk about you, talk about your
mom, your grandmother,great-grandmother, like when you
think about now, 2025, how hasmotherhood changed?
In what ways has it changed?
Sound like there's so muchcenter around family and getting
(14:09):
together and, you know, fillingin the gaps, and you know there
was this even as you startedhaving children yourself, and
you know how has it changed?
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I think it's not as honorable as it was, you know,
in the past.
In the past, I think, there isa period of time where people,
people, cared more about youknow how much they can succeed,
(14:42):
how far they can succeed, andyou know what are some of the
phrases.
You know the getting the bagand all of these.
You know other statements thatpeople make in this day and age,
and children are the last youknow they're not the first thing
that they think of, and so Ialso think that it's important.
(15:07):
I mean family is important.
I think as an individual, youchoose whether or not you want
to have children or not, but ifyou do, you have to understand
that there is a legacy that youknow, a legacy that you are
leaving which is, you know,important, and then what you do
right now has an effect on many,many years and generations
(15:28):
after you leave this earth, andso I don't know for sure if it's
really valued like it wasbefore.
I agree, for me, I think,teaching, being in the school
system, you just see how kidsdon't value family anymore.
(15:49):
We was taught to value yourfamily, your parents, the adults
, and it's kind of like noweverything else is important.
The world has taken over whereI don't have time for this here,
but I make time for everythingelse, but what I need to make
time for and I say family,that's what I think is just the
(16:13):
value of it and the way we lookat it.
The respect level has changedjust with the world changing,
technology coming in.
And it's tough for me becauseyou know you have to move and
change with the world, but youhave to know that you're not of
the world and I think that'skind of some things that didn't
happen.
We forget.
Yeah, things have changed.
(16:34):
This is this, but you're not apart of this world.
You still have other people.
You still need this help.
People feel we can do it all onour own now we don't need help
anymore.
Um, that's just my, my opinion.
Greg Jones (16:46):
That's good.
Tina, you always talk aboutseasons.
Do you think it's just adifferent season now?
That's changed?
What's your opinion about that?
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I think it's a different world.
The culture has changed sodrastically.
It's a very selfish culture.
It's a culture that says me andmine and what I want to do, and
that's not the way ofmotherhood.
A mother gives, a mothersupplies, a mother cares for,
(17:19):
and all the new language ofsociety today is counter to that
, you know.
And so our children really arecrying out for mothers.
I mean, you know, we alwayswere saying you know, they're
crying out for fathers, but nowit's gotten so bad, they're
crying out for mothers.
When a mother is not there, youknow, we're in bad shape, you
(17:43):
know.
And so children today arelooking for the heart of the
mother.
And the heart of the mother isone that cares for, protects,
feeds um, there's so many thingsthat that mother does that the
children today are missing.
And it's because and a lot oftimes I think that's happening
because a lot of people haven'treally processed one, what
(18:07):
motherhood is?
Two, why are they a mother?
And I think many of them havebecome mothers and really hadn't
given any thought, you know.
And so now you know, it's gotthis kind of an afterthought,
even though you can recover, youknow, if it was unexpected, but
because of the selfish nature.
In society today, people stillaren't thinking about the
(18:29):
children, you know people stillaren't thinking about the
children.
Greg Jones (18:35):
You know that's good so, and we know that.
You know life is tough, I know,I'm sure.
Obviously motherhood at timesis tough.
You know what are the thingsthat keep you going prayer oh,
y'all, all three said that yessir but that, yes, that's what
we learned.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
My great grandmother.
I used to watch her pray, youknow, over her adult children.
Things would be going on, andthe only way that I knew stuff
was going on, I'd walk in thehouse and I would smell cinnamon
, and she would be.
She put some on the stove andshe'd be singing and praying.
(19:13):
And I began to recognize thispattern and know that something
was going on.
And a lot of times as a kidwatching, you know, as I was she
died when I was 14.
And so I got to watch that fora lot of years and begin to pick
up on the pattern.
And there was things that wasthat was troubling her heart,
(19:34):
and so she would be praying andI would hear, you know, talking
under her breath, but she waspraying, you know, and she'd be
singing, but she'd be in therestirring around in that kitchen
cooking, but she'd be praying,and then her daughter, my
grandmother, as Gina has alreadysaid pray about it.
She would tell my children I'mpraying for you.
I woke up with you on my mindthis morning, so I'm praying for
(19:57):
you.
You know, that's what we heard,and so it's become our way that
we learned it, we watched it.
Now we're doing it.
Greg Jones (20:08):
That's good, wow, okay, how do you define
resilience In your own life?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Well, I say it like this we fall down, but we get up
.
When you fall down, you gottaget back up.
You know, when you get back up,that's showing that resilience
and recognizing that it's okayto fall, but staying down is not
okay.
It's just not okay.
(20:42):
We got to get back up.
Too much has happened before usthat people went through and I
don't feel like we got the rightto stay down when we watched
everything that they that ourancestors went through.
Greg Jones (20:56):
Yeah, that's good, I was just.
You know we we've all watchedroots, I'm sure a thousand times
, a hundred times, and I waswatching and it's just amazing,
you know, and the depiction ofyou know back then.
But then thinking about slaveryand then thinking about you know
how black folk fought in thewar and their own communities,
(21:19):
and then you think about youknow, we live here in the great
state of Oklahoma just theatrocities that took place here
in our own state and sundowntowns and all this kind of stuff
, sundown towns and all thiskind of stuff.
And it's just interesting to mehow, when we think about
resilience, it's it's, it's just, it's very, very, very, very
interesting.
Eric, what about you?
Is there some?
(21:39):
There are some spiritual orcultural practices that have
helped you stay grounded?
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Just really is just faith and prayer.
You know, as you continue togrow and grow in the word and
have a deeper relationship withGod, at some point, when you,
you know, you face adversitiesand challenges, you still have
(22:05):
to put to practice what youbelieve.
And so that, to me, is when wetalked about resilience, it's
putting to practice what Ibelieve, because I put my trust
in God.
I'm going to put it intopractice, I'm going to, you know
, have faith, you know, in, inwhatever it is that I'm doing,
but I'm going to, and that faithis going to manifest because
(22:26):
I'm going to move, I'm not goingto be debilitated, I'm going to
(22:57):
walk it out, it's not going tochange.
So just trusting God andputting it into action.
Greg Jones (23:01):
We've talked a little bit about your
great-grandmother, grandmother,bigger mama.
Talk about your mom a littlebit.
What comes to mind when?
Speaker 3 (23:16):
the enforcer for me.
You know she was the one thatum is, the one that kept us
balanced.
You know you would say we gotout of line.
She was the one that um had theroad to her and and I think
that's me but she has a bigheart and if you didn't know
(23:36):
that about her, all you wouldsee is that rough edge of her,
if you didn't really look downor to see that soft side of her.
But she was the one that reallyput it in lame words for us
perspective, like looking at itdifferently, not coming well,
like the grandmothers, big mamawas real soft with us.
(23:56):
We're gonna pray about you'renot gonna do this.
I don't think I ever got awhooping by, did y'all?
no no, okay, and not.
We didn't get many by mama, Idon't.
I don't recall that there, butyou know just the tone and
letting us know.
She always let us know we, whenwe was out of line and didn't
have to say much.
I can remember and they stilltalk about it at her church, st
(24:17):
John is that when she would bein the choir stand and we'd be
back there acting up in the backand they said who was she
looking at?
But it calmed us all down.
We all knew Somebody knew wewas out of line, and it wasn't
just us, it was the other kidstoo.
Knew we better straighten up.
And that was just from a lookway up in the choir stand.
(24:50):
What else she was a rock.
Um, she get it done.
Um, you know, through thick andthin she kept pushing, you know
her.
Her going into the reserves andstuff like that was because she
was like I'm going to get thisdone for my girls, you know.
And now, as a result of that,you know it took care of us
along the way.
But as a result, now it'staking care of her.
But she did it.
(25:11):
She did it for us initially,you know, making sure that she
could provide, you know, and somy mom was a rock.
She was a rock, yeah.
Greg Jones (25:23):
Anything to add there, Erica?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
One of the things that I can, I would I remember,
is that she was involved.
I remember, I think during thattime when we were growing up, a
lot of activities came fromchurch.
We didn't go, you know, out.
There wasn't a lot of auxiliaryorganizations or teams that
they have you know now, so a lotof things just came from the
(25:48):
church.
If you play basketball or somekind of a sport, you would be in
school and it would be, youknow, be a part of school.
So she was just a great support.
She was, I think, our GirlScout.
I was a Brownie and, excuse me,girl Scout troop, you know,
leaders, I mean, she was just,she was involved and she was.
(26:13):
Another thing that I will say isshe was, she was hardworking
and she was a single mom, butshe had support.
Yes, but I would like topreface that in saying it's
difficult.
Regardless of whether or notyou have support or not, it's a
difficult job and you know, mamaworked for the state and back
(26:37):
then she, you know you got paidonce a month.
So the discipline was high.
You know, on the list, when Ithink about how do you manage
what you manage with the littlethat you had, and I also just
remember pride.
You know pride in you knowyourself.
(26:58):
You know presenting yourself acertain way.
There was no way, you know, wewere going to go out with
bonnets on our heads nowadaysand rollers.
You know it was just adifferent time.
But being able to presentyourselves appropriately, that
came from mama and a grandmother, you know as well.
(27:19):
But those are some of thethings that I think about when I
think about her, and she isstill living.
I know we're talking aboutthese things in past tense, but
she has dementia, and so Iwanted to say that.
Greg Jones (27:33):
Which I was where I was going was, I think, is
admirable, now that yourtestimony of your a lot of your
years in your life was he didthings to prepare a way for you
and create a discipline and allthese things, and now you all
have the opportunity to takecare of her, which I think is
fantastic.
I mean it's admirable.
(27:54):
Yes, which I think is fantastic.
I mean it's admirable and I Ican't speak for it, but I feel
like what I know, doing thatwith the same level of dignity
and respect and making sureshe's taken care of, and some of
(28:14):
the same kinds of things thatwe've been talking about already
.
That's been instilling you.
Now you have the same thing tobe able to surround her with.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yes.
Greg Jones (28:37):
Which I think is very, very much.
Each of you have children, uhgrandchildren.
Like Erica, we don't havegrandchildren yet, but it feels
like we have bonus grandchildren, bonus dogs and everything else
going on.
But, um, but the, the, the, theI'm trying to get at.
There's this.
There's something about um,caring for the children and the
grandchildren and, at some point, great grandchildren.
Now, what is the thing that?
(28:58):
What's the hope that you wantthem to most remember about you?
So imagine, imagine, likeyou're thinking about your mom
and the time you get to spendwith her and what she's done,
and your grandmother and yourgreat grandmother like I think
generations ahead and what she'sdone, and your grandmother and
great grandmother like I thinkgenerations ahead, and and
(29:18):
there's I mean, I even havepodcasts then but, but they get
a chance to think about you whatis it that you hope that your
children and grandchildren willremember most about you?
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Well, for me, I I want them to know that this
granny had a love for her peopleand a love for family, and that
the family came from the peopleyou know, and there's something
special about us, and so I wantthem to know that about me.
(29:55):
When, when they talk aboutblack history, they say, that's,
that's BB, that's, that was mygrandmother.
I want them to say that aboutme.
Greg Jones (30:07):
How about you, Gina?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Family.
I'm really big on family andtry to the importance of it and
how much we need them.
Even when we disagree, we stillneed our family Church.
How important it is tofoundation because that's where
it started for us, with mygrandbaby starting out early
(30:33):
being involved in the church andthen, when the times is going
to get tough and rough, but whenyou have that foundation, you
know how to go back and get whatyou need.
Greg Jones (30:46):
so, family and a great foundation that's good,
and then erica any lessons orwisdoms that you hope to pass on
the next generation.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I think I'm learning this later in life, but I hope,
well, I hope that they rememberthat I had joy, that there was
joy, a presence of joy andlaughter about me that they
appreciated.
And family you know family aswell, family, and you know my
faith.
And just remembering that I putthose things, you know that we
(31:35):
put those things first.
Greg Jones (31:38):
That's good, so I'll kind of.
There's a couple of otherquestions.
Now I'm starting to reflect alittle bit and think about kind
of advice.
What do you cause I?
I pray that there are mothersthat are listening to the
podcast and you know what'spodcast and what's at least one
thing and there may be severalthings, but what's at least one
(31:59):
thing that mothers should hearbut rarely get told.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
I don't know that I hear people saying it so much
outside of a, you know, a churchcircle, but I think young
mothers in particular need to betold that you are more than
capable to raise your childrenand lean on God to help you to
(32:28):
raise.
Don't feel like you got to.
You know you got to have allthe answers.
You got to do all this.
Let God help you raise yourkids, because we want to raise
our children with good character.
We want to raise them, you know, to be good people and you by
yourself can't do that.
You need to lean on God to helpyou to raise your kids.
Greg Jones (32:50):
Would you add anything to that, Gina?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
They were proud of you.
They don't get to hear thatmuch.
Everybody's so busy trying tocorrect them and tell them what
they're not doing right and I'mguilty, you know, I don't say it
a lot, but I'm very proud ofmine.
But as parents sometimes weforget to encourage.
(33:14):
So just tell them that you'reproud of them.
You're doing good, becauseeverybody's motherhood, the way
they raised, is totallydifferent.
I can't expect you to do thesame way.
We come from the same householdbut we all three raised
differently.
Just tell them that you'reproud of them.
Greg Jones (33:31):
Yeah, anything you would add to that, erica?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Yeah, Anything you would add to that, erica, I
(33:55):
would just, you know, reassurethem that you know they're
fearfully and wonderfully madein the.
Don't try to to be OK with the,the speed of your growth, don't
you know?
Look outside of yourself orlook at someone else to
determine how fast or how slowyou know or what path you should
be going.
That you know, you trust God,you know and he'll, he'll reveal
(34:17):
, he will reveal it to you.
And one of the other thingsthat I've learned is you know
the word of God talks about we.
You know we make many plans,but it's the Lord's that prevail
.
And so I would say, continue toget in practice with laying your
plans before the Lord andtrusting that he's going to
(34:39):
reveal what you should do andwhat you shouldn't do, because
and it doesn't necessarily meanthat what you're thinking about
doing is something that's badyou know there's something that
is negative.
It could be great things, couldbe wonderful things, but it may
not be in the season that Godis desiring for you right now.
(34:59):
So, being able to lay yourplans down and trust that, if
you give them to him and hegives you direction, that, um,
it's where you need to be, andso I would.
That's what I would wish forthem, or say to them.
Greg Jones (35:17):
I think that's wonderful.
So let's begin to kind of wrapup.
I mean, as you, as you alsoreflect.
I mean, does there any one ofyou have, like you know, if your
life was a book or a song andyou're thinking about motherhood
, what, what, what would thetitle be?
Or what would be the verse,what comes to mind?
Speaker 3 (35:39):
The first thing I thought about it was a song, and
it's by Nina Simone.
I don't know all the words, butit's that everything must
change.
Nothing stays the same.
There's some other words, tina.
Do you know the rest of it?
Everything must change, changenothing and no one goes
(36:02):
unchanged.
Greg Jones (36:04):
The young becomes the old yes.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
I thought about the same song oh my god, I cannot
believe she said that that Imean we cannot just stay stuck.
Yeah, you know where we are,you know, and so there are
seasons that may be plentiful,there may be seasons that are
lack, but you have to be able tobe willing to go into the
(36:33):
season.
That's one of the huge thingsthat I have learned for myself
and I believe that that has, um,it's helped me adjust really
fast.
Um, when change, when changehas to come, just be all in,
just go ahead and dive in.
Don't be the person that youknow sticks your toe in the
(36:55):
water and it's cold, and youtake it out and you just kind of
keep testing it, you know, andthinking about what you're going
to do, and then you talkyourself out of it, and then you
sit on the side, you know, andthen years pass by and then you
finally, you know, decide to dowhat you were supposed to do in
the season that you weresupposed to do, and so now
(37:16):
you're trying to do somethingthat is not even in the season
now that you should be doing,and so I would say, just jump in
, be all in.
If God is directing you to bethat way, just go get wet, go
immerse yourself in it.
You're not going to know allthe answers, but God is going to
(37:37):
order your steps and he's goingto direct you and he never puts
you out somewhere that he isnot going to protect you.
Keep you safe.
Greg Jones (37:52):
Anything else, book or title that Think on your mind
, Gina.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
I'm really mad at them because they sung and they
know I can't sing.
No, but seriously, I would sayfor me as a book I would say
hard on the outside but soft inthe middle.
Hard on the outside, soft inthe middle.
So soft on the inside.
So you know, because sometimes,as she said, getting stuck, um,
(38:19):
that you forget, because ofthat hardness, you just want to
say I'm gonna stay here, I'm notready, not listening, and um,
probably for me that's been mybiggest challenge is that in my
walk with god is not listening,I ain't ready for that there, I
don't want to do that there.
So, missing out onopportunities because seasons,
(38:44):
because you want to do it onyour own instead of doing it
when it was told to you or whenit was your season.
So I thank my sisters for thatthere too, because they not
being judgmental, becausesometimes we can just tell you
you should have did that.
You know, he was told.
You know, because we speak andwe talk to each other, but it's
kind of like when you ready, ithas to be your choice when you
ready.
So that would be my titlethat's good.
Greg Jones (39:08):
I mean this and I want you to think, if you have
any last thoughts, I want you tothink about this, but I do want
to just say, like there'sadmiration for not not only the
mothers, that you are the women.
You are the mothers,grandmothers, aunties, the all
of that.
Because I just think about, um,as you describe family, what it
takes in a community, commonunity, where people come
(39:29):
together, uh, that havedifferent approaches to things,
that see things, but you seethings a different way, you see
things, you discipline adifferent way, but all of it is
to lift up and to encourage, andthe importance of having
mothers like you are invaluablein a community.
So my admiration to you is wesit here in the middle of
(39:52):
Oklahoma City and we think arewe really making a difference?
And I just want you to knowthat you are making a difference
.
Your spears, your churches,your family, your block, your
neighbors, the people you'vecome in contact with, but, most
importantly, those kids, niecesand nephews and grandkids and
all those.
(40:12):
It makes a difference and it'sadmirable to be where we are in
the season that we are, the yearof 2025 that we are.
I mean we think about you, knowwhat's going on in our economy
and around us.
It don't look good, but God hasput something and he's
instilled something in each oneof you that you have to give.
(40:33):
And I think it's also as I, asyou're reflecting on those
little things that you remember.
You know it's the nextgeneration and next generation
after that will remember thosethings that were instilled in
their hearts so that maybe theycan just run a little further,
they can go a little longer,they can endure a little bit
more because of the things thatyou've actually endured.
And there's something thatthey're watching, whether they
(40:56):
say it or not, I think has adistinct effect on the way they
live, and I think we're startingto see that Some of your kids
where they're going, whatthey're doing, how they want to
give back, how they want toparticipate in various things in
the family I think stems from alot of the examples that you've
left for them.
(41:17):
So be encouraged today.
I hope people that arelistening to this are also
encouraged, and that's thereason why we're doing this.
You know it's a podcast is apodcast, but it's digitized.
They ain't going nowhere, andso somebody somewhere might
listen to this and be encouragedby three sisters that made a
distinct decision not only tolove one another, but also be
(41:37):
who God has called them to be.
So I think that is prettyawesome.
All right, any last commentsthat you think about.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Anything else that before we wrap it up, comes to
mind.
Well, I love my children, mygrandchildren, my nieces and
nephews and all bonus kids thatthat I've had the opportunity to
work with over the years andwill continue to work with, and
hope that something that I'vedone, you know, helps them to,
helps them to live their livesin a better way.
Greg Jones (42:11):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Just be encouraged, simple, just be encouraged
that's it, simple.
Greg Jones (42:18):
Just be encouraged.
Well, thank you, tina, gina,erica, now I don't have to
promise this, but we'd love tohave you on sometime in the near
future so you're always welcometo come on.
Whoa, whoa everything mustchange.
Thank you for joining us onthree keys for your journey.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
We'll be back with you next time thanks for joining
three keys for your Tune in.
Next time for another episode,thank you.
Are you ready to unlock your potential?
Tune in to Three Keys for yourJourney podcast, where business
owners share invaluable insightsand empowering strategies to
guide you towards success.
Based in Oklahoma City, ourhost, Greg T Jones, will inspire
and motivate you every week.
Get ready to join ourconversation as we build
(00:36):
community together.
Greg Jones (00:40):
All right, my host, greg Jones, for your three keys
for your journey.
We have a special, a specialspecial Mother's Day event.
Gwen's Girls that's what we'retalking to.
Gwen's Girls Tina, gina andErica, erica being the youngest,
who's my wife?
And then we have these other twothat three years apart, that
(01:01):
right yes okay, three yearsapart and, um, I got a special
edition today, so we're gonnaget a chance to really think
about some oral history, somebackground motherhood journey,
resilience and strength, andjust kind of have them share,
from their own words, somethings about, um, mother's day
and some advice and all thatgood stuff.
(01:23):
So let's go, let's get started.
I mean, okay, when y'all thinkabout mother's Day, I know kind
of, as I came into the family,you know, I thought about your
grandparents and particularlyMother's Day, bigger Mama, which
would be your mother's mother,right, yes.
So tell me a little bit who is.
(01:43):
Who is Bigger Mama?
Speaker 3 (01:45):
Well, I'll start.
I gave her that name, big Mama,because I had so many other
grandparents and grandmothersand they already had a different
name, so to keep it separate, Icame up with the name Big Mama,
even though she was not a bigperson.
I called her Big Mama becausein my young mind she was the
(02:07):
bigger mother than my own mother, and so it stuck obviously, and
we use that name veryaffectionately today.
Greg Jones (02:16):
What I thought was also interesting.
Then her then husband wascalled Bigger Daddy.
Speaker 3 (02:21):
Yes.
Greg Jones (02:21):
So it's Bigger Mama and Bigger Daddy?
Yes, Was it for the same reason?
I mean it just kind of workedso yeah, bigger Mama and Bigger
Daddy.
Yes, so it was Bigger Mama andBigger Daddy, yes, was it for
the same reason?
I mean?
Speaker 3 (02:26):
it just kind of worked yeah.
Greg Jones (02:28):
Bigger Mama and Bigger Daddy.
Okay, gina, what was your,what's some of your memories of
Bigger Mama, bigger Daddy,particularly Bigger Mama, since
his mother's day?
Speaker 3 (02:37):
Bigger Mama, best friend, that was my ace, if you
would say, but I knew she was mygrandmother.
But the relationship we had wasdifferent.
I knew I felt super comfortable, comfortable always going to
talk to her, and the look shewould give me when I would go
into my mode like Gina prayabout, gina, pray about it.
(03:00):
And that was just the closenessthat we had that's good.
Greg Jones (03:06):
Yeah, that's good.
I got another thought, but letme go to erica first.
What was some of your thoughtsabout big mama?
Speaker 3 (03:13):
I would say big mama was one of the just the
cornerstones of our family.
She was one of the pillars inour family and I remember just
the cooking, the you know raisinpies, sweet potato pies, just
um her love in a pot that shewould um just share, you know
(03:36):
share.
And so I um remember that Um,and I also remember that she was
just a serving person, one ofthe things I remember.
She was always prepared Ifsomeone came and visited her.
I mean she could just, you know, come up with a meal, you know
(03:59):
something to you know to shareand to give, and so that's a
little bit of what I remember.
Greg Jones (04:08):
As you think about traditions and values.
Obviously, one of the questionsthat I'd asked was name some of
the women in your life thathave shaped your life, and
obviously she was, uh, a bigpart of that and one of those.
What and you meant you startedtalking about that, erica, but
just in general, for any of youlike was some of the traditions
and values that that you got achance to participate in, and it
(04:32):
may not just be specific to BigMama, but what are some things
that just come to your mind?
Speaker 3 (04:40):
We used to.
Of course, you know we would goto my grandmother's house
holidays, and even as childrenwe went there just about every
day because of just the way ourroutine was.
But before we would go to herhouse, we would go to her
mother's house, and so familybecame very key to us.
(05:02):
It was a part of our lives.
We didn't know anythingdifferently.
So when we would get out ofschool we would go to my
great-grandmother's house and mygreat-grandfather was alive too
, but we always referred to itas her house because of the love
and the involvement andeverything that she did.
It kind of centered around her,and so we would go down there,
(05:23):
and so after we would leavethere, my mom pick us up, we go
to my grandmother's house, hermother's house, and so for us
the legacy of mothers was reallybig, and so we had some big
shoes to walk in because wewatched what they did in our
lives.
And so for us it became aboutoh, they've gone on, now it's,
(05:48):
it's our turn, you know.
And so we we recognize that andwe didn't see it then so much
as we do now.
Greg Jones (05:55):
It feels like to.
I remember, uh, you tell meyour thoughts.
There were traditions like umwere there certain days of the
week like y'all would go.
I mean like it feels like therewere.
There were these things thatwould just happen, not just on
holidays but like during theweek.
What were some of thosetraditions?
Speaker 3 (06:17):
well, one of the things that I think about is, um
, the way we celebrated family.
You know, grandma and papa had12 kids.
Two died at, you know, veryyoung, but out of the 10, they
had a lot.
They ended up with a lot of youknow grandchildren, and then,
of course, we were greats, andso the family always came around
(06:40):
and met down there at theirhouse, and so we knew, at
certain certain points in theyear, you could expect that the
family was going to be downthere, you know.
And so after a while, you haveso many people there that half
of us had to be outside becauseit was just too many of us for
that little house, you know, andwe knew the family just
(07:02):
automatically surrounded thathome, that family it was.
It was just interestingwatching the clans, you know,
come down there their 10 kidsand then they bring their kids
and then, after a while, theirkids started having kids.
And then, before long, it wastoo many of us, you know, but it
(07:23):
was something about this homehere is is everything stops here
and starts here, and so we umwe.
We knew that you didn't havethat option.
We're there.
Greg Jones (07:38):
That's good, yeah, so Gina tell me, I mean, I know
in some of our latter years likethere was a Sunday routine,
like every Sunday I went tochurch together.
Speaker 3 (07:45):
Yes, what was that?
Greg Jones (07:46):
like.
Speaker 3 (07:47):
I enjoyed it.
Good question it's.
Just hanging out with her andjust being in her presence was a
blessing for me.
She taught me a lot.
I learned a lot.
I'm the kind of one that's whyI come that family is so
important to me.
Traditions is important to me,because that's what I got from
(08:10):
her.
Moving around, with her goingin, we always made sure she
checked on everybody and so youknow, that's just kind of some
of the things I picked on ischecking up on everybody, trying
to make sure everything is okay, and you never knew if
something was going on with her.
You know, so it was.
It was just kind of the thingand I, and sometimes I see
(08:31):
myself like, oh, how did mygrandmother do this?
This is cause I I kinda don'tbuild myself, I try to be her,
but I, I I value so much of whatshe done and instilled in me
that I tried to keep it going asfar as it led, even telling my
daughter, my granddaughter youknow, this is what we do.
Family's important.
Greg Jones (08:50):
You know you have to know about your family because
this is all you have is yourfamily, which is that kind of
how you're, because you have asaying right or you post a
saying all the time.
Is that where that came from?
Speaker 3 (09:00):
that's where it came from what is that saying?
Greg Jones (09:03):
family first love minds okay, eric, how about you?
What?
What comes to your mind as itthinks about traditions and
values, as it relates to yourmom or your grandmother?
Speaker 3 (09:16):
I think one of the things that I think about is
just serving.
I think about when we weregrowing up, there were I don't
know what the correct word is,but there were family
partnerships, what the correctword is but they were family
(09:37):
partnerships.
You never felt like there waslack, because someone you know,
someone, was always filling inthe gaps.
And so I, you know, Iappreciate that.
I just thankful for you knowjust even her serving attitude
and just how she lived life, andI think that's a huge part of
(09:58):
me and why I like to serve.
I think being in the backgroundis, to me, the most humbling
thing, because when you serveothers, I think it's just good
for the heart, it keeps youhumble and it helps you to
(10:19):
remain grounded that you neverstart to look so high, you know,
of yourself than you should,and so that's some of the things
that I think about.
Greg Jones (10:33):
That's awesome.
So now, now all three of youhave are mothers yourself.
So I'd love to just kind ofpick your brain and I guess,
erica, I'll ask you thisquestion.
You know how did, how did youfeel when you first became a
mother?
Speaker 3 (10:45):
Ooh, ooh.
I was thankful.
Um, we went through, you know alittle, you know some, some
trials during that time.
I don't want to go too muchinto it because it's a long
story, but you know we had to gothrough a process to have, you
(11:05):
know, have children and um, justI think, when I think about
that process and everything thatwe had to go through, and you
know you put so much faith inwhat man could do, but with God
it always through that process,it always came back to I still
(11:43):
have to trust God.
I still have to lean on himbecause he's the only one that
can provide that.
The doctors could do all theycan do, but yet I still have to
trust God because God gives theyes and he gives the no, and so
just going through all of thatand just the support from you, I
think that was encouraging toofor our marriage.
So when we had our first child,I was elated.
(12:08):
Yes, I was elated.
I was thankful that I had anopportunity to be on that
journey.
Greg Jones (12:17):
Which is interesting because it was right before
Mother's Day, if I don'tremember right.
That's another fond memorybecause, then I remember Nate
and Tina.
There was a tornado and, ohLord, that's a whole nother
story.
I do remember all that.
Oh Lord, that's a whole notherstory.
I do remember all that.
Speaker 3 (12:39):
Tina, what was one of the most joyful memories you
had of you and your childrenwhen they were young, I think,
recognizing their interests andgiftings, just seeing the little
people that they were becomingin front of me.
It was just cool watching thatand then recognizing how do I
help them develop.
(13:00):
That I've always kind of beeninto this development thing, you
know, and I didn't know it.
You know and recognize it untilI reflect back and I think I've
always done it.
I did it with my own children.
I remember when, when they wentto kindergarten, I wasn't sad,
I was excited.
A lot of women, you know, theycry and they talk about my check
(13:21):
, my baby's going to school.
I was like I want to see howthey're going to do, I want to
see how, if they, if what we'vetaught them, if they're going to
make it, you know, and so I wasexcited about that.
But I was just really loving tosee and I still watch my kids,
loving to see how they develop.
Greg Jones (13:45):
That's good.
So y'all think about it.
Anybody can take this questionhow has motherhood changed?
I mean, you talk about, you,talk about you, talk about your
mom, your grandmother,great-grandmother, like when you
think about now, 2025, how hasmotherhood changed?
In what ways has it changed?
Sound like there's so muchcenter around family and getting
(14:09):
together and, you know, fillingin the gaps, and you know there
was this even as you startedhaving children yourself, and
you know how has it changed?
Speaker 3 (14:21):
I think it's not as honorable as it was, you know,
in the past.
In the past, I think, there isa period of time where people,
people, cared more about youknow how much they can succeed,
(14:42):
how far they can succeed, andyou know what are some of the
phrases.
You know the getting the bagand all of these.
You know other statements thatpeople make in this day and age,
and children are the last youknow they're not the first thing
that they think of, and so Ialso think that it's important.
(15:07):
I mean family is important.
I think as an individual, youchoose whether or not you want
to have children or not, but ifyou do, you have to understand
that there is a legacy that youknow, a legacy that you are
leaving which is, you know,important, and then what you do
right now has an effect on many,many years and generations
(15:28):
after you leave this earth, andso I don't know for sure if it's
really valued like it wasbefore.
I agree, for me, I think,teaching, being in the school
system, you just see how kidsdon't value family anymore.
(15:49):
We was taught to value yourfamily, your parents, the adults
, and it's kind of like noweverything else is important.
The world has taken over whereI don't have time for this here,
but I make time for everythingelse, but what I need to make
time for and I say family,that's what I think is just the
(16:13):
value of it and the way we lookat it.
The respect level has changedjust with the world changing,
technology coming in.
And it's tough for me becauseyou know you have to move and
change with the world, but youhave to know that you're not of
the world and I think that'skind of some things that didn't
happen.
We forget.
Yeah, things have changed.
(16:34):
This is this, but you're not apart of this world.
You still have other people.
You still need this help.
People feel we can do it all onour own now we don't need help
anymore.
Um, that's just my, my opinion.
Greg Jones (16:46):
That's good.
Tina, you always talk aboutseasons.
Do you think it's just adifferent season now?
That's changed?
What's your opinion about that?
Speaker 3 (16:55):
I think it's a different world.
The culture has changed sodrastically.
It's a very selfish culture.
It's a culture that says me andmine and what I want to do, and
that's not the way ofmotherhood.
A mother gives, a mothersupplies, a mother cares for,
(17:19):
and all the new language ofsociety today is counter to that
, you know.
And so our children really arecrying out for mothers.
I mean, you know, we alwayswere saying you know, they're
crying out for fathers, but nowit's gotten so bad, they're
crying out for mothers.
When a mother is not there, youknow, we're in bad shape, you
(17:43):
know.
And so children today arelooking for the heart of the
mother.
And the heart of the mother isone that cares for, protects,
feeds um, there's so many thingsthat that mother does that the
children today are missing.
And it's because and a lot oftimes I think that's happening
because a lot of people haven'treally processed one, what
(18:07):
motherhood is?
Two, why are they a mother?
And I think many of them havebecome mothers and really hadn't
given any thought, you know.
And so now you know, it's gotthis kind of an afterthought,
even though you can recover, youknow, if it was unexpected, but
because of the selfish nature.
In society today, people stillaren't thinking about the
(18:29):
children, you know people stillaren't thinking about the
children.
Greg Jones (18:35):
You know that's good so, and we know that.
You know life is tough, I know,I'm sure.
Obviously motherhood at timesis tough.
You know what are the thingsthat keep you going prayer oh,
y'all, all three said that yessir but that, yes, that's what
we learned.
Speaker 3 (18:53):
My great grandmother.
I used to watch her pray, youknow, over her adult children.
Things would be going on, andthe only way that I knew stuff
was going on, I'd walk in thehouse and I would smell cinnamon
, and she would be.
She put some on the stove andshe'd be singing and praying.
(19:13):
And I began to recognize thispattern and know that something
was going on.
And a lot of times as a kidwatching, you know, as I was she
died when I was 14.
And so I got to watch that fora lot of years and begin to pick
up on the pattern.
And there was things that wasthat was troubling her heart,
(19:34):
and so she would be praying andI would hear, you know, talking
under her breath, but she waspraying, you know, and she'd be
singing, but she'd be in therestirring around in that kitchen
cooking, but she'd be praying,and then her daughter, my
grandmother, as Gina has alreadysaid pray about it.
She would tell my children I'mpraying for you.
I woke up with you on my mindthis morning, so I'm praying for
(19:57):
you.
You know, that's what we heard,and so it's become our way that
we learned it, we watched it.
Now we're doing it.
Greg Jones (20:08):
That's good, wow, okay, how do you define
resilience In your own life?
Speaker 3 (20:20):
Well, I say it like this we fall down, but we get up
.
When you fall down, you gottaget back up.
You know, when you get back up,that's showing that resilience
and recognizing that it's okayto fall, but staying down is not
okay.
It's just not okay.
(20:42):
We got to get back up.
Too much has happened before usthat people went through and I
don't feel like we got the rightto stay down when we watched
everything that they that ourancestors went through.
Greg Jones (20:56):
Yeah, that's good, I was just.
You know we we've all watchedroots, I'm sure a thousand times
, a hundred times, and I waswatching and it's just amazing,
you know, and the depiction ofyou know back then.
But then thinking about slaveryand then thinking about you know
how black folk fought in thewar and their own communities,
(21:19):
and then you think about youknow, we live here in the great
state of Oklahoma just theatrocities that took place here
in our own state and sundowntowns and all this kind of stuff
, sundown towns and all thiskind of stuff.
And it's just interesting to mehow, when we think about
resilience, it's it's, it's just, it's very, very, very, very
interesting.
Eric, what about you?
Is there some?
(21:39):
There are some spiritual orcultural practices that have
helped you stay grounded?
Speaker 3 (21:45):
Just really is just faith and prayer.
You know, as you continue togrow and grow in the word and
have a deeper relationship withGod, at some point, when you,
you know, you face adversitiesand challenges, you still have
(22:05):
to put to practice what youbelieve.
And so that, to me, is when wetalked about resilience, it's
putting to practice what Ibelieve, because I put my trust
in God.
I'm going to put it intopractice, I'm going to, you know
, have faith, you know, in, inwhatever it is that I'm doing,
but I'm going to, and that faithis going to manifest because
(22:26):
I'm going to move, I'm not goingto be debilitated, I'm going to
(22:57):
walk it out, it's not going tochange.
So just trusting God andputting it into action.
Greg Jones (23:01):
We've talked a little bit about your
great-grandmother, grandmother,bigger mama.
Talk about your mom a littlebit.
What comes to mind when?
Speaker 3 (23:16):
the enforcer for me.
You know she was the one thatum is, the one that kept us
balanced.
You know you would say we gotout of line.
She was the one that um had theroad to her and and I think
that's me but she has a bigheart and if you didn't know
(23:36):
that about her, all you wouldsee is that rough edge of her,
if you didn't really look downor to see that soft side of her.
But she was the one that reallyput it in lame words for us
perspective, like looking at itdifferently, not coming well,
like the grandmothers, big mamawas real soft with us.
(23:56):
We're gonna pray about you'renot gonna do this.
I don't think I ever got awhooping by, did y'all?
no no, okay, and not.
We didn't get many by mama, Idon't.
I don't recall that there, butyou know just the tone and
letting us know.
She always let us know we, whenwe was out of line and didn't
have to say much.
I can remember and they stilltalk about it at her church, st
(24:17):
John is that when she would bein the choir stand and we'd be
back there acting up in the backand they said who was she
looking at?
But it calmed us all down.
We all knew Somebody knew wewas out of line, and it wasn't
just us, it was the other kidstoo.
Knew we better straighten up.
And that was just from a lookway up in the choir stand.
(24:50):
What else she was a rock.
Um, she get it done.
Um, you know, through thick andthin she kept pushing, you know
her.
Her going into the reserves andstuff like that was because she
was like I'm going to get thisdone for my girls, you know.
And now, as a result of that,you know it took care of us
along the way.
But as a result, now it'staking care of her.
But she did it.
(25:11):
She did it for us initially,you know, making sure that she
could provide, you know, and somy mom was a rock.
She was a rock, yeah.
Greg Jones (25:23):
Anything to add there, Erica?
Speaker 3 (25:25):
One of the things that I can, I would I remember,
is that she was involved.
I remember, I think during thattime when we were growing up, a
lot of activities came fromchurch.
We didn't go, you know, out.
There wasn't a lot of auxiliaryorganizations or teams that
they have you know now, so a lotof things just came from the
(25:48):
church.
If you play basketball or somekind of a sport, you would be in
school and it would be, youknow, be a part of school.
So she was just a great support.
She was, I think, our GirlScout.
I was a Brownie and, excuse me,girl Scout troop, you know,
leaders, I mean, she was just,she was involved and she was.
(26:13):
Another thing that I will say isshe was, she was hardworking
and she was a single mom, butshe had support.
Yes, but I would like topreface that in saying it's
difficult.
Regardless of whether or notyou have support or not, it's a
difficult job and you know, mamaworked for the state and back
(26:37):
then she, you know you got paidonce a month.
So the discipline was high.
You know, on the list, when Ithink about how do you manage
what you manage with the littlethat you had, and I also just
remember pride.
You know pride in you knowyourself.
(26:58):
You know presenting yourself acertain way.
There was no way, you know, wewere going to go out with
bonnets on our heads nowadaysand rollers.
You know it was just adifferent time.
But being able to presentyourselves appropriately, that
came from mama and a grandmother, you know as well.
(27:19):
But those are some of thethings that I think about when I
think about her, and she isstill living.
I know we're talking aboutthese things in past tense, but
she has dementia, and so Iwanted to say that.
Greg Jones (27:33):
Which I was where I was going was, I think, is
admirable, now that yourtestimony of your a lot of your
years in your life was he didthings to prepare a way for you
and create a discipline and allthese things, and now you all
have the opportunity to takecare of her, which I think is
fantastic.
I mean it's admirable.
(27:54):
Yes, which I think is fantastic.
I mean it's admirable and I Ican't speak for it, but I feel
like what I know, doing thatwith the same level of dignity
and respect and making sureshe's taken care of, and some of
(28:14):
the same kinds of things thatwe've been talking about already
.
That's been instilling you.
Now you have the same thing tobe able to surround her with.
Speaker 3 (28:22):
Yes.
Greg Jones (28:37):
Which I think is very, very much.
Each of you have children, uhgrandchildren.
Like Erica, we don't havegrandchildren yet, but it feels
like we have bonus grandchildren, bonus dogs and everything else
going on.
But, um, but the, the, the, theI'm trying to get at.
There's this.
There's something about um,caring for the children and the
grandchildren and, at some point, great grandchildren.
Now, what is the thing that?
(28:58):
What's the hope that you wantthem to most remember about you?
So imagine, imagine, likeyou're thinking about your mom
and the time you get to spendwith her and what she's done,
and your grandmother and yourgreat grandmother like I think
generations ahead and what she'sdone, and your grandmother and
great grandmother like I thinkgenerations ahead, and and
(29:18):
there's I mean, I even havepodcasts then but, but they get
a chance to think about you whatis it that you hope that your
children and grandchildren willremember most about you?
Speaker 3 (29:30):
Well, for me, I I want them to know that this
granny had a love for her peopleand a love for family, and that
the family came from the peopleyou know, and there's something
special about us, and so I wantthem to know that about me.
(29:55):
When, when they talk aboutblack history, they say, that's,
that's BB, that's, that was mygrandmother.
I want them to say that aboutme.
Greg Jones (30:07):
How about you, Gina?
Speaker 3 (30:10):
Family.
I'm really big on family andtry to the importance of it and
how much we need them.
Even when we disagree, we stillneed our family Church.
How important it is tofoundation because that's where
it started for us, with mygrandbaby starting out early
(30:33):
being involved in the church andthen, when the times is going
to get tough and rough, but whenyou have that foundation, you
know how to go back and get whatyou need.
Greg Jones (30:46):
so, family and a great foundation that's good,
and then erica any lessons orwisdoms that you hope to pass on
the next generation.
Speaker 3 (31:11):
I think I'm learning this later in life, but I hope,
well, I hope that they rememberthat I had joy, that there was
joy, a presence of joy andlaughter about me that they
appreciated.
And family you know family aswell, family, and you know my
faith.
And just remembering that I putthose things, you know that we
(31:35):
put those things first.
Greg Jones (31:38):
That's good, so I'll kind of.
There's a couple of otherquestions.
Now I'm starting to reflect alittle bit and think about kind
of advice.
What do you cause I?
I pray that there are mothersthat are listening to the
podcast and you know what'spodcast and what's at least one
thing and there may be severalthings, but what's at least one
(31:59):
thing that mothers should hearbut rarely get told.
Speaker 3 (32:07):
I don't know that I hear people saying it so much
outside of a, you know, a churchcircle, but I think young
mothers in particular need to betold that you are more than
capable to raise your childrenand lean on God to help you to
(32:28):
raise.
Don't feel like you got to.
You know you got to have allthe answers.
You got to do all this.
Let God help you raise yourkids, because we want to raise
our children with good character.
We want to raise them, you know, to be good people and you by
yourself can't do that.
You need to lean on God to helpyou to raise your kids.
Greg Jones (32:50):
Would you add anything to that, Gina?
Speaker 3 (32:53):
They were proud of you.
They don't get to hear thatmuch.
Everybody's so busy trying tocorrect them and tell them what
they're not doing right and I'mguilty, you know, I don't say it
a lot, but I'm very proud ofmine.
But as parents sometimes weforget to encourage.
(33:14):
So just tell them that you'reproud of them.
You're doing good, becauseeverybody's motherhood, the way
they raised, is totallydifferent.
I can't expect you to do thesame way.
We come from the same householdbut we all three raised
differently.
Just tell them that you'reproud of them.
Greg Jones (33:31):
Yeah, anything you would add to that, erica?
Speaker 3 (33:34):
Yeah, Anything you would add to that, erica, I
(33:55):
would just, you know, reassurethem that you know they're
fearfully and wonderfully madein the.
Don't try to to be OK with the,the speed of your growth, don't
you know?
Look outside of yourself orlook at someone else to
determine how fast or how slowyou know or what path you should
be going.
That you know, you trust God,you know and he'll, he'll reveal
(34:17):
, he will reveal it to you.
And one of the other thingsthat I've learned is you know
the word of God talks about we.
You know we make many plans,but it's the Lord's that prevail
.
And so I would say, continue toget in practice with laying your
plans before the Lord andtrusting that he's going to
(34:39):
reveal what you should do andwhat you shouldn't do, because
and it doesn't necessarily meanthat what you're thinking about
doing is something that's badyou know there's something that
is negative.
It could be great things, couldbe wonderful things, but it may
not be in the season that Godis desiring for you right now.
(34:59):
So, being able to lay yourplans down and trust that, if
you give them to him and hegives you direction, that, um,
it's where you need to be, andso I would.
That's what I would wish forthem, or say to them.
Greg Jones (35:17):
I think that's wonderful.
So let's begin to kind of wrapup.
I mean, as you, as you alsoreflect.
I mean, does there any one ofyou have, like you know, if your
life was a book or a song andyou're thinking about motherhood
, what, what, what would thetitle be?
Or what would be the verse,what comes to mind?
Speaker 3 (35:39):
The first thing I thought about it was a song, and
it's by Nina Simone.
I don't know all the words, butit's that everything must
change.
Nothing stays the same.
There's some other words, tina.
Do you know the rest of it?
Everything must change, changenothing and no one goes
(36:02):
unchanged.
Greg Jones (36:04):
The young becomes the old yes.
Speaker 3 (36:08):
I thought about the same song oh my god, I cannot
believe she said that that Imean we cannot just stay stuck.
Yeah, you know where we are,you know, and so there are
seasons that may be plentiful,there may be seasons that are
lack, but you have to be able tobe willing to go into the
(36:33):
season.
That's one of the huge thingsthat I have learned for myself
and I believe that that has, um,it's helped me adjust really
fast.
Um, when change, when changehas to come, just be all in,
just go ahead and dive in.
Don't be the person that youknow sticks your toe in the
(36:55):
water and it's cold, and youtake it out and you just kind of
keep testing it, you know, andthinking about what you're going
to do, and then you talkyourself out of it, and then you
sit on the side, you know, andthen years pass by and then you
finally, you know, decide to dowhat you were supposed to do in
the season that you weresupposed to do, and so now
(37:16):
you're trying to do somethingthat is not even in the season
now that you should be doing,and so I would say, just jump in
, be all in.
If God is directing you to bethat way, just go get wet, go
immerse yourself in it.
You're not going to know allthe answers, but God is going to
(37:37):
order your steps and he's goingto direct you and he never puts
you out somewhere that he isnot going to protect you.
Keep you safe.
Greg Jones (37:52):
Anything else, book or title that Think on your mind
, Gina.
Speaker 3 (37:57):
I'm really mad at them because they sung and they
know I can't sing.
No, but seriously, I would sayfor me as a book I would say
hard on the outside but soft inthe middle.
Hard on the outside, soft inthe middle.
So soft on the inside.
So you know, because sometimes,as she said, getting stuck, um,
(38:19):
that you forget, because ofthat hardness, you just want to
say I'm gonna stay here, I'm notready, not listening, and um,
probably for me that's been mybiggest challenge is that in my
walk with god is not listening,I ain't ready for that there, I
don't want to do that there.
So, missing out onopportunities because seasons,
(38:44):
because you want to do it onyour own instead of doing it
when it was told to you or whenit was your season.
So I thank my sisters for thatthere too, because they not
being judgmental, becausesometimes we can just tell you
you should have did that.
You know, he was told.
You know, because we speak andwe talk to each other, but it's
kind of like when you ready, ithas to be your choice when you
ready.
So that would be my titlethat's good.
Greg Jones (39:08):
I mean this and I want you to think, if you have
any last thoughts, I want you tothink about this, but I do want
to just say, like there'sadmiration for not not only the
mothers, that you are the women.
You are the mothers,grandmothers, aunties, the all
of that.
Because I just think about, um,as you describe family, what it
takes in a community, commonunity, where people come
(39:29):
together, uh, that havedifferent approaches to things,
that see things, but you seethings a different way, you see
things, you discipline adifferent way, but all of it is
to lift up and to encourage, andthe importance of having
mothers like you are invaluablein a community.
So my admiration to you is wesit here in the middle of
(39:52):
Oklahoma City and we think arewe really making a difference?
And I just want you to knowthat you are making a difference
.
Your spears, your churches,your family, your block, your
neighbors, the people you'vecome in contact with, but, most
importantly, those kids, niecesand nephews and grandkids and
all those.
(40:12):
It makes a difference and it'sadmirable to be where we are in
the season that we are, the yearof 2025 that we are.
I mean we think about you, knowwhat's going on in our economy
and around us.
It don't look good, but God hasput something and he's
instilled something in each oneof you that you have to give.
(40:33):
And I think it's also as I, asyou're reflecting on those
little things that you remember.
You know it's the nextgeneration and next generation
after that will remember thosethings that were instilled in
their hearts so that maybe theycan just run a little further,
they can go a little longer,they can endure a little bit
more because of the things thatyou've actually endured.
And there's something thatthey're watching, whether they
(40:56):
say it or not, I think has adistinct effect on the way they
live, and I think we're startingto see that Some of your kids
where they're going, whatthey're doing, how they want to
give back, how they want toparticipate in various things in
the family I think stems from alot of the examples that you've
left for them.
(41:17):
So be encouraged today.
I hope people that arelistening to this are also
encouraged, and that's thereason why we're doing this.
You know it's a podcast is apodcast, but it's digitized.
They ain't going nowhere, andso somebody somewhere might
listen to this and be encouragedby three sisters that made a
distinct decision not only tolove one another, but also be
(41:37):
who God has called them to be.
So I think that is prettyawesome.
All right, any last commentsthat you think about.
Speaker 3 (41:49):
Anything else that before we wrap it up, comes to
mind.
Well, I love my children, mygrandchildren, my nieces and
nephews and all bonus kids thatthat I've had the opportunity to
work with over the years andwill continue to work with, and
hope that something that I'vedone, you know, helps them to,
helps them to live their livesin a better way.
Greg Jones (42:11):
That's awesome.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
Just be encouraged, simple, just be encouraged
that's it, simple.
Greg Jones (42:18):
Just be encouraged.
Well, thank you, tina, gina,erica, now I don't have to
promise this, but we'd love tohave you on sometime in the near
future so you're always welcometo come on.
Whoa, whoa everything mustchange.
Thank you for joining us onthree keys for your journey.
Speaker 1 (42:39):
We'll be back with you next time thanks for joining
three keys for your Tune in.
Next time for another episode,thank you.
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