July 17, 2025 • 44 mins
Five years ago, we thought we’d be living the dream by now — stable job, big paycheck, maybe a corner office. But here we are… still questioning everything. In this episode, we unpack what career looks and feels like in your 30s: the burnout, the “am I even good at this?” spiral, the impostor syndrome that won’t go away, and the reality that success isn’t always as shiny as we imagined.
If you’re wondering whether you’re behind, lost, or secretly crushing it… this one’s for you.
#30SomethingsPod #CareerInYour30s #QuarterLifeExtension #ModernWorkLife
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:08):
So apparently Clark didn't know we're doing a double episode
tonight. For our recording.
For our recording. And so he ate our chicken
leisurely and so slowly. He didn't know we were recording
something tonight. And so he, you know, speed
(00:28):
reading of our episode. And thank you, Clark.
So we actually just had like, a 5 minute break.
Yeah, after dinner. And we played a few songs.
And I just noted that a song is more memorable than a friend
recommends it, right? Yes, because there is an
associated memory for when and how.
Yeah. And although you've heard it and
(00:50):
then you take a listen to it again and I feel like why does
my friend like this? So I should really like.
Yeah. But also there are types of
songs that you already associatewith your friends like.
This is a. Very this person.
Sorry. It's a song, Clark Song.
Yeah, exactly correct. And so this is kind of heavy.
I feel like this episode. Yeah.
(01:12):
You know. Yeah, we're gonna be talking
about our careers. I actually when we had a debrief
earlier on this episode because you know, I forgot that we're
doing 2 episodes. Tonight.
Recording tonight, yeah. Recording this episode might get
me fired. Actually, he told me some trade
secrets that I am bound not to tell anyone because he'll be
(01:36):
surely fired for sure. Because I think there is a like
circumstance somewhere in the news.
Yes, we won't say. Yes, that's all I'm allowed to.
Say, all right, legally, becausemy lawyer is here.
Our episode is Career in Your 30s.
Is this what we signed up for, Bestie?
My God, this is such a loaded question.
(01:57):
I think. Yeah, considering that we've
grown up and studied in a schoolthe way we did.
Our. Habit, our habit.
Perfection is our goal. So I feel like career is 1
touchy topic for each one of us.Yeah, survivors.
(02:18):
Yeah, but going with the excellence is our habit.
Profession is our goal. Do you think you have carried
that mantra to your job right now?
Maybe before, but right now I'm like really chilling.
I can say 2025, I've been reallychilling at work, but because of
(02:38):
that, I'm also in an existentialcrisis right now in terms of
what do I really wanna do. But of course we're gonna get
into that in a little while. So I think to start, do you have
some many games for me right nowor again, No, no, nothing.
Let's just maybe introduce ourselves again and what we do
and how many years in industry. For as far as since it's career
(02:59):
day, so quick on your feet, Clark, that's why I really
admire you because you're so smart and quick on your feet.
OK? So should you start go OK?
My name is Clark. By the way, Please remember this
because this is gonna be useful in future episodes.
Why? Why?
I mean, the next episode is exciting and this is important.
(03:20):
OK? So introduce yourself again.
Again, my name is Clark. I'm 32 years old this recording.
I am a software engineer right now currently focusing on AI and
I've been on the industry for 11or 12.
Years, dude. Really.
Congratulations, dude. Seriously.
(03:41):
I'm so proud of you. You've been like a working man.
OK. Hi.
Good evening. I'm Clarissa.
To my friends, they call me Clan, but you can't call me that
yet. So I'm a practicing lawyer, I've
been one since 2018 and I love it.
(04:02):
But I feel like sometimes exhausting.
And we have me, Clark and I, we have different passions as well,
apart from our work, of course, one of which is this podcast.
So we're gonna talk about our careers.
So completely different backgrounds.
But here we. Are.
But here we are, and I think we diverge in one thing, this
(04:22):
mantra. We grew up with this mantra.
Excellence is our habit. Perfection is our goal.
So the question is, have we beenexcellent all our lives, Clark?
I would say yes. And no, yeah.
No, I think you wouldn't really say excellence is 100%.
There's always downtime, and I would consider my downtime as
part of my excellence. Oh, that's true.
I feel like I'm being too hard on myself when I say that we
(04:47):
haven't been excellent all the time.
But you're correct, down times are part of excellence.
Are we perfect though? And are we?
No, absolutely not. No, absolutely not.
I was gonna say that with the mantra that was instilled on us
since we were younger. Excellence is our habit.
Profession is our goal. We could actually just stop on
the first part. Excellence is our habit.
Yeah, like, we're excellent and we can make it a habit, but
(05:10):
profession is our goal. Where's the humanity in that?
That's. True.
Anyways, so we're going to talk about that.
I think First off, how's your career five years ago versus now
and did you expect to be here at30 something for?
My case, it wouldn't really be five years ago.
I would say two years in as a junior developer, it was like
(05:34):
the worst time in my career because I feel like it was two
years. And like when you started?
Yeah, yeah, OK. Automatic right now I.
Think I remember that. Oh my.
God. Yeah.
Yeah, almost every day is like overtime.
Was it dreadful? Horrible.
There was this one time, it was Mark's birthday, Our editor.
(05:55):
Yeah. And we were supposed to
celebrate the birthday. And I was stuck at work because
I had to fix a bug that was needed to be fixed by, like,
apparently that day. The world has to be saved.
Okay, I figure. Was my OT. 20. 2015.
Yeah, I felt like I was in the birth.
(06:15):
Probably because when you were school.
Okay, go ahead then, yeah. And then I was at work until
2:00 AM. Oh.
My God that sucks. 2:00 AM. I felt bad for my senior because
she was also forced to do the OTalong with me.
Yeah, we had to fix the bug. And just like, thank you for
doing the work, Clark, for staying 2:00 AM.
And it was so mad and pissed offthat I had to stay until 2:00
(06:39):
AM. I was like, no, miss, it was
just doing my job. You don't have to thank me.
Such a horrible person. Yeah.
But like, yeah, right now it was.
Also it was so nice of you to say that because yes it was your
job but you didn't have to do that at 2 AMI feel like.
Yeah, and you know what, after that, when I went to the party,
(07:00):
everyone was drunk. There's already stories to be
told and I'm there, just burnt out trying to spoil.
Everyone's. I remember this.
Oh my God. Oh my.
God. So again, again, going back to
the topic, it's not five years ago for me, but like maybe two
years in, which is like maybe, but.
It was in your 20s, right? Yeah, yeah.
Versus now versus now versus. Now like you, I kind of take a
(07:24):
chilled laid back approach approach to my job, especially
when I'm working from home. I feel like my downtime is my
downtime but I still do have boundaries when doing work from
home but just a chill more relaxed approach in my job.
How about you so? I think for me, literally five
(07:44):
years ago, yeah, I feel like I was doing a completely different
job. It was my first job after law
school and even before I passed the bar.
And until I passed the bar, it was a corporate job.
Not necessarily, but it was a big law firm.
Yes, it is. It's a big law firm in the
Philippines that has a Cebu office, the task, corporate
(08:06):
clients and big clients. And because of that, because it
was a small office, so there wasno middle management, just
really like the partner and thenthe associate, the junior
associates. And so like the burnout was
real. And then growing up with a
boomer parent who said that you know what, it's not for the
(08:27):
money, it's for the experience. You just really stay there, be
patient, and then just do your job because you're there to
absorb everything and like that.And so part of it was true.
I really learned a lot. Like one month felt like a year
from yeah, like I stayed there for almost 4 years.
So good for me, right? But good and bad for me because
(08:50):
it was really, I would say toxic.
Like I went there 8 AMI go home by 10:11.
I was like a robot. I have to go home, which is like
an hour or two hours away depending on traffic.
I just sleep and then wake up again.
I didn't have a life. But work wise I learned a lot.
(09:11):
Like, it was such a fast learning process for me in terms
of managing a law firm, appearing in court and even
writing. I feel like my writing really
developed at the time. But in terms of personal life,
maintaining my personal connections and mental health,
it was awful. Like, I do remember, yes.
Like I can't even plan a weekendwith you guys because, yeah, I
(09:33):
might be called to work. Yeah, because of deadlines.
And then and I feel like somehowit was partly because of this
job that I was awful to my family in the sense that I'm so
stressful. So I have a really short fuse
and I clap back at someone immediately, like my brother
when he jokes at me, I clap back.
(09:53):
And then even my previous partner was I think the first
victim or like the front liner and all of this because I had
short fuse. I was like very critical,
insulting and I. Do remember, like I was already
in Japan, so sometimes when I visit here every December, it
was hard. I could see the effect on you
(10:15):
because even if we're hanging out, yeah, you still have half
your foot on the. Job I know like I was calling my
call all. The time I.
Know. And then although of course the
pay was good because this is corporate.
So yeah, the pay was really goodand then the benefits were good
too. But is it worth it though?
That's like really the question,is it worth losing your
(10:37):
relationship with your family, your loved ones and your
friends? Well, I can say now it's not.
I was becoming a horrible person, given that I'm a brown
woman. I was so pale at that time.
I didn't get any sign. I was really ashy.
And then five years after, I'm now in government service and
actually I feel more relaxed andI'm mastering my work life
(11:02):
balance. But I also am happier these days
'cause I get to go home while the sun is still shining, the
sun is still there even though it's about to set.
And then I get to plan out things with my friends.
I get to see you more. But now the challenge is
complacency, as with government institutions, especially local
(11:23):
government, there's like, because it's just 8585, so you
become very complacent. So now my challenge is, and that
is the root of my existential crisis right now.
Is that it? Where am I going?
Like, OK, I have this job. People like adore me.
People revert me because I'm a lawyer.
But then what? Now, Like, where am I going?
(11:46):
Yeah, So I'm there on. This kind of thing as well in
our first episode about where everything is going.
Yes. And then because we're at a
certain age also, Bestie, you never really get over
questioning yourself. Like, am I good enough?
Or like, are all the praises andeverything correct?
(12:07):
Like, yeah, it's the age of the Buster.
Syndrome. But do you ever feel that when
you were in your 20s? Yeah.
Of course. And even up to now, it's always
going to be the ghost that's going to hunt you.
Yeah. And it's it just takes a
different form in the earlier parts of a career.
I think it would be applicable to both of us where we feel like
we've learned everything in school.
(12:29):
Like especially for you, you pass the bar and then starting
with your first job. Even me, for me, this is my
first time that's job so far. It's like, am I good enough?
Am I doing this? The right way, Did I learn
everything correctly? Those kinds of things.
And especially for you, I suppose since you are lawyers,
(12:50):
it's more about practice. So there's a wide area to range.
And As for? Me, which is very just logical.
It's all codes lights, but also you.
Have to be on track because technology that develops who.
Would have thought that would bean AI engineer right now, right?
Yes, so. Then it was always about did I
(13:11):
learn enough in college to actually show up for do I
deserve this pay? That kind of thing.
But now. But now, Oh my God.
I deserve more. Right, so there's this feeling
like I'm just gonna do what I'm paid to do.
Like you always told me that. Yeah.
My God, guys, we're paid this. We have to act that way.
(13:33):
Yes, we have to. Yeah.
So I'm quietly learning that now.
I mean, we don't have. Yes.
You don't have to burn yourself out for a job that treats you as
a replaceable person because honestly, and our jobs, we're
all replaceable. That's true.
Even my boss said I'm replaceable.
(13:53):
Clarissa, do you think? Now that we have this mindset,
we're just all better and dated.Well, not.
Necessarily, I don't know, maybewe are, but, you know, there are
much older or dated people, yeah, than we are.
And then look at us. I feel like it's kind of bleak
to think that, though. Yeah.
Like. Maybe we end up like them, yeah.
(14:15):
So question, you're an AI engineer right now.
You're a developer. I'm a lawyer.
Was this like part of the plan? Like, was this your original
idea? Like was this the one you put in
your intermediate pad when you were asked?
What's your dream career? OK, let's.
Let's unpack the stronger, OK? Let's go.
Let's do that. I never expected it.
(14:38):
I would be a software developer in the 1st place.
Yeah, because I don't think it was what I wanted for a course,
But what? Did you want in the first place?
To be a psych major, well. You are still.
But I don't know why like my parents have valid points.
Like OK you're going to be a psych major then what?
(15:00):
They're going to be HRHR not to put our HR friends the sitting
right now. It doesn't pay that well in the.
Philippines, but in other countries it does pay well,
maybe for like. Psychometry and psychiatrist,
Yes. Yes.
Yes, yes, it pays. Well, but in the Philippines,
it's mostly HR, that kind of thing, yeah.
That's true, depending on the companies as well, yeah.
(15:20):
And they were saying like IT, you have the skills and that's
the. Future, though, in the
Millennium, Yeah, especially. Back then there was like an IT
boom. So they were along with nurses,
yeah. After the nurses, so they were
really pushing that I do anything IT related.
I'm like, yeah, what the hell? I'm not paying for college.
You're paying for it, so might as well.
And I always knew that wherever you put me, I would survive.
(15:44):
And. You know, Betsy, I think this
was also fitting for you becauseyou're also very smart in math.
Like you're good at numbers. I know that like not to.
Toot my own horn, but I know my skills and my capabilities.
Wherever you put me, I would survive, I would thrive.
So I know that if even if I do something I don't want to do, I
(16:05):
would excel. Yeah.
Yeah. And I think this is something
that maybe my parents got right.Yes.
And. I'm not saying.
That my parents are horrible. I'm just saying that they they,
they were right about this. So you.
Think you're in a career that suits you well?
Yeah, I would say that and. Then you wouldn't have it any
other way. We don't know that.
(16:25):
I don't know. I don't know, I.
Wouldn't, I'm not 100% confidentthat I would say this because
I'm still kind of curious what would have been in another
world. But right now I'm, Oh my God,
no, please, I'm OK with where, where I am now, I suppose in
this world, really. That's good for you, bestie.
How about? You, you know.
I really. Don't know your hopes and dreams
(16:46):
when you were younger? Oh, really?
Well, honestly, I really didn't know because I just knew that I
wanted to be like, the moment I saw this Feng shui book, I
always wanted to be like an architect or something.
Yeah, that's. That's some sort of, yeah.
And then I think I had this bestfriend, Trixie.
Yeah, yeah, Trixie wanted to be a lawyer.
(17:10):
And so I, like, piggybacked on her dream.
I'm like, OK, I'm gonna be a lawyer to or an architect,
perhaps. And then going off, I think my
father was like a frustrated whatever, a statesman I guess.
And then my mom was abroad and Itold her mom, I want to be like
an architect or something. So you know what?
My dream for you and your dad's dream for you is to be a lawyer.
(17:32):
So I feel like OK, so like with my limited knowledge, I knew
that pre law courses would be like political science,
something like that. So I applied for both side and
architecture and then I got the architecture from the Lehman but
then my mom got sick so I can't be away.
(17:53):
So I took the one in Cebu, whichwas called Sai, and I just go
with the flow when it comes withto my academics.
Like it's not that I don't work hard.
Yeah, like whatever comes, whatever shoe drops, I just take
it because it's there. And I felt like, well, say it
was OK for me. It was fun.
It was easy for me actually. And then I went to law school
(18:16):
and while it was kind of difficult, the exams were
difficult, but it went easy. Also.
It was hard like all other things like school and work, but
I went through it with no problems at all, just to
breathe. Yeah, and.
Then the bar came, I actually enjoyed my review and then I
passed something like that. So I feel like even though it's
(18:39):
a path I really don't want to take, but it was presented to me
so easily. I think it's really meant for
me, the law thing, and I have come to love it, especially at
work, although it was stressful.But I see it now that my skills
are suited for this kind of job.Yeah, it suits you.
(19:00):
Well, yeah, I. Know so I still think of
architecture, home design. Yeah, you know me, that's the
drawing art. And so I'm quietly pursuing
that. So I guess that's it.
So is it my dream? Maybe because it's my parents
dream and my parents dream are part of my dreams?
(19:20):
I feel like it's a valid dream for me so I.
Guess it would be safe to say like younger us wouldn't have
expected us to be here. Yes, but we are content with
where we are. Oh I love.
It yes, yes. Moving forward, moving forward.
I think now that we've gone through the career path that we
did, like the junior to being seniors or where we are right
(19:45):
now. How do you fare on burnout
versus boundaries? So how do you balance burnout
and then boundaries actually? That's a very good way of
phrasing it, because as young ones in our 20s, I don't think
we didn't really know where our boundaries lie of.
Course like we were people pleasers exactly through and
(20:08):
through. So I guess.
Those two words should go and inhand with each other burnout and
boundaries. Because once you start setting
your own boundary, no, no, not your own, sacrificing your.
Boundaries, yeah. But once you know where those
boundaries lie, there is a smallchance of burnout because as
young Once again, you would takethe job until overtime. 2:00 AM
(20:31):
because you. Think OK, that's what I just you
think you have. You also think that's what you
deserve, but also you're trying to prove your worth.
You're trying to prove that you're not replaceable.
But again, as you mentioned earlier, everyone's replaceable
in a job, but also. Bestie, even though that was
difficult and that was also an instance that would lead to
burnout, but hard work or moments like that also define
(20:55):
you, I feel like. Yeah, I.
Mean and overtime. Once in a while would test your
character, but again, if there are no boundaries, there's a
tendency that you would be doingover time every day, like what
happened to you without going home at 10 every day, 2:00 AM,
Yeah, you know that kind of thing.
Guys, for our listeners that arein their 20s, yeah.
(21:18):
So I. Think it's also kind of relevant
right now because as millennials, we're between the
boomers and Gen. Z's, right?
And I've spoken to my mentor before and she said that
turnover rates are actually pretty high because people,
especially the Gen. Z's and even millennials, quit
their work so easily, especiallyfor minor inconvenience or if
(21:41):
they think that this job doesn'tsuit them or does not serve
their higher purpose. So what do you think about that?
You know what? There are things to be learned
from their generation. I am so amazed at how easy they
are able to immediately start setting the boundaries.
Like they know where they want in their career.
(22:01):
That's why it's easier for them to quit.
Actually, I do remember back in our 20s when some of our friends
would quit their jobs after likea few weeks or a few days.
Like, Are you sure? Are you OK?
But you know, looking back now, like, good for them, right?
I actually know like what I said.
About I'm also envious about people like that because I think
(22:22):
that's also brave, but also bestie.
There's also strength and bravery in staying, yes.
Yes, I was. I was going to get into this
point because working with Gen. Z, hear me out.
I feel like I'm going to talk a whole generation and I'm going
to probably be cancelled. But again, the resilience is not
there. Yeah.
(22:43):
Because staying at one job and experiencing the difficulties
and all the trials and tribulations, but also of
course, in return experiencing the triumph and accomplishment
builds character, yes, builds resiliency, patience.
But then of course, we have to balance it out when?
Yeah. Setting the boundaries right,
(23:04):
yeah, because there's. Always the saying of the go and
get stuff. So you know, experience the
going and stuff. And well, maybe this is going to
contradict what we said earlier about setting boundaries, but
how do you know that that is theextent of your boundary if you
don't push the boundary? That's right.
And then maybe push it and then know where's the limit.
Yeah. Know the limit, don't be very
(23:27):
complacent on but then. Again, it's always easier said
than done because you have to gothrough it.
Very valid. And so right now best you were
in our 30s. So objectively I guess we have
improved in our position, salaryand everything, but then there's
(23:49):
also inner peace and then work life balance.
So what do you feel like successshould be in your tender age of
20 and then your ripe age of 30?Yeah.
I actually don't know how do I measure success even then, even
now for a lot of people, they say it's when you reach the
(24:13):
certain amount of monthly pay orbeing able to feed a whole
family of how many X amount of heads, but that's not me.
So I don't know. But also factoring in your
equation in that as mentioned earlier about happiness, I
actually don't know where those things fit in.
Fit in. Or matter, but I feel like I
(24:37):
would say about like 6070% successful.
I would say I think work wise, Ifeel successful when I'm
learning. OK, So like I feel like if
there's room for me to learn in this position, then OK, because
I feel like you never really, I'm so weird, but I, I feel like
(25:00):
success is elusive. Like, OK, you feel successful
now, but then there's another step to that, right?
But I feel like success is always, there's a space for
learning, but at the same time comfort.
I feel like when you're comfortable, like you can spend
this much and not have to worry,you can sleep at night, like
(25:23):
comfortably. You have Peace of Mind.
And I guess it depends upon person to person.
So like, yeah, success can come with in different ways.
Like you go home 8:00 to 5:00 and you have time for your
family and hobbies. Yes.
Hobbies and then you also have like going up the ladder
corporate. Yeah, yeah, corporate.
Ladder or the institution and then that would be success too.
(25:46):
But right now in my 20s, I feel like that would be success for
me. Like being the boss, being like
having the salary, having this big house, They feel like
success for me now. I don't know how to describe it
yet, but I feel like I know the ingredients to what success
(26:06):
looks like for me. Then you can.
Ask if you already have the problem of your.
Ingredients. But yeah, I think comfort for me
is success. Like I'm comfortable, my family
is comfortable, and then I have Peace of Mind.
And of course it doesn't hurt that I have a big salary and big
paycheck. Oh my God, I feel.
(26:27):
Salary like I I feel like I really do deserve a lot more.
I mean, same besties, same. My God.
Like, we've been excellent our whole lives.
And yeah, hear us out. Yeah, yeah.
I mean. And with this inflation, Oh my
God. And you know.
Pay for a mortgage for this condo for like 5.
Years and your condo, by the way, this looks like success to
(26:50):
me. This is a pretty good condo.
Yeah, that's why. I think that's also something
you should factor in for successis to count your blessings,
count all the things that you are able to afford right now.
There might be days when you wake up and you're like, oh,
another work day. Oh, it's another Monday, blah,
blah, blah. And but it's also nice to be
able to check your progress. Like you know that saying
(27:14):
Malayupa Malayuna, Yes, that's. So I feel like always success
and career wise, it's always a continuing thing.
We're only halfway their besties, so we don't know.
Tired. We're always.
Tired. I think being tired is perpetual
In any I think in any aspect of life, we always get tired.
(27:37):
That's what I. Hate about the rat race though.
It's always gonna be chasing up to the next milestone and
whatever. Yeah, but I.
Don't think the rat race is justlimited to 8:00 to 5:00.
I mean, no, yeah, everything's arat race.
Yeah, like the. Whole life itself.
I would really sound realistic right now, which I actually am,
but yeah, it just gets tiring. So I have a.
(28:00):
Question, considering that, you know, we have different hobbies
as well and then we we have likeparked dreams in the back
burner. Do you think like at our age
30s, is it too late to pivot to another career perhaps?
Like what do you think and what can you advise to our listeners?
(28:20):
I don't think I'm the right person to say.
This. But like, there are a lot of
infographs about people startingtheir career figuring themselves
out at like 3542, whatever, 50, but in this economy in the
Philippines. Bra.
(28:41):
Get your shit together as early as possible.
That's true, and we're not whitepeople.
Most of the people on on those infographs that I've seen are
white. Yeah, So that's it.
Also, no, it's not very realistic as well because I hate
to say this, but people have theprivilege to choose to have
different choices. If you have money, yes, you have
(29:03):
the resources. Because when all you care is
survival, you don't really care for passion.
Yeah, You really don't care for other career choices.
But to survive, Yeah, To feed. Yourselves, yeah, so.
You also have to be sensitive and realistic as well.
So shout out to employers and the government as well.
(29:25):
Hello. Again, and also I'm always
amazed at how with my coworkers,we have about the same pay, but
then they're also feeding their family.
Like what do you mean you're feeding a whole family with this
salary and I'm just feeding myself and I can I cannot barely
afford myself. What do you mean?
But actually. Bestie, I've read some research
(29:48):
about this, that it's more economical to get married
because then you'll have double income but and then then just
like spiraling through it and then huh.
But you also have to feed 2 mouths and then you have to feed
like. But single people are really
expensive, I feel like because you have so many things to buy
because. There's.
(30:09):
I think that's also actually true because there's also no one
to check and balance, yes, your expenses, yeah, so.
That's where I'm at right now. Cuz you know me.
I'm kinda like a generous spender for myself.
Yeah. And right now I'm dating a
spendthrift guy. So like when I buy something
(30:31):
like he makes me think like, Areyou sure?
Like you want this? You still have this at home and
like that, Oh, that's too expensive.
Like so when I shop like I really go shopping spree, I go
alone or like OK, random. Aside very much far, not really
our. Topic Yeah, When was the last?
(30:51):
Time you bought shoes. You know, shoes are like our
thing, my God like. Last year, right, we bought like
1 shoe per month. I feel like yes, that's.
True. OK.
So just here. Wait wait wait aside.
No, because the big spends for me are actually the sneakers
(31:11):
because they're more expensive than my heels.
I just bought heels last month but I don't count them shoes but
like. Yeah, that's but I don't.
Count them. I don't count.
Slippers or whatever. Yeah, so.
I don't count my heels, but whenwe say sneakers, I haven't
bought any this year, but I'm buying this one.
That's my plan. The last time I bought footwear,
(31:34):
well, except, you know, indoor sleepers or whatever cuz they
don't count. Yeah, was last November.
Oh my. God, oh good for you.
Look at. Me.
Yeah, but I'm planning to buy one cuz I wanna like treat
myself with a pair of shoes cuz I live in my dad and my brother
and my brother cuz we're all single in the household.
My brother said you have lots ofshoes then what are you doing?
(31:58):
You only have one set of. That's it.
Yeah. OK.
So having talked about our career now and before, I guess
the natural question right now is where do we go from here?
Clark like. Basically we're raising myself
up here. So now yes.
Or do your dreams still hold or something like that?
(32:19):
OK, just a. Random anecdote, I was asked
this question during my interview for my first job and
my only job so far. Where do you see yourself?
Five years from now and then what?
Did you say honestly I wasn't taking the?
Interview seriously but guess I answered correctly cuz I got the
job by. The way.
They asked me where do you see yourself from now?
(32:40):
And then I answered probably backpacking around Southeast
Asia, like maybe in Thailand, Kabul.
Exactly. And that's what I did exactly 5
years from that interview. So I guess that joke became a
reality. But like, I wouldn't really say
I was joking, but I felt like that's what I wanted to do.
But now asking me where do I seemyself five years from now?
(33:01):
I actually don't know but as a joking but also not really
joking cuz that's how it worked for me so I am hoping it would
work again. For me this time.
I would probably be around Europe.
Me too. I mean, we might be together by
then. What?
Yeah, I wanna go there. We haven't been there.
Yeah, we haven't. Been I want to be Europe based
(33:23):
really. Yeah, like then I'm going to
have to visit you because how are we going to record our
podcast? Yeah, like.
That's what you did with me in Japan, so I think it's about to
happen. Eventually it will.
And I think the stars will alignfor us, yeah.
How about you for five years? From now, really, I don't know.
I think I'm gonna be a business owner by then.
(33:43):
I feel like it's gonna fly. Yeah, because we've.
Always been talking about business even.
Before maybe traveling to Europebecause I always want to go
there, or maybe United States. I want to go because my
relatives are Yeah, you have a closet in.
New York and then. Maybe that and then relationship
(34:03):
wise, well, we'll have to wait next episode for the.
Next few episodes, yes. OK.
So we've pretty much covered everything except for, I think,
the unspoken things. This would be the last big part
of our conversation. How do you fare with comparing
yourself to others in terms of career?
(34:25):
Yeah. This is actually a big thing.
Back then, in my early 20s, I got into this company which
didn't really pay well and also,by the way, doesn't still pay
well. Again, this might be the reason
why I might get fired, but like,here we are.
Actually, there's a deeper reason he might get fired, but
we won't say it yet, but. It really frustrated me that
(34:47):
most of my batch mates got into a job that paid more than my
job. And considering that back in
college they were the type of people who would copy my
answers, yes, and I would carry the whole team for the whole
project, that kind of thing. And they got jobs that are more
(35:10):
high paying than mine. It really frustrated me.
So then then I saw it as like competition.
And I would even say that now they could afford bigger, better
things than I can. But actually now and traveling.
Through Europe, yeah. Those kinds of things, I'm
actually happy for them. Right.
I think you get to that place. Yeah, eventually, yeah.
(35:34):
Yeah, and I would say that there's more journey to be had
at my end. I suppose I'm tired of the
character development, but I guess it is character.
Development for me, yeah, I haveto say the same thing for
myself, Bestie. I feel like, well, I really have
no complaints about my career. I feel like because as lawyers
(35:58):
our journey is unique, but then of course you get to compare
yourself, especially if your contemporaries have like big
houses or like businesses or like big high paying clients,
something like that. But then it puts you in
perspective because at the same time you have this big wonderful
life that you forget because of this and that.
(36:20):
And then you have qualities thatare also better than others.
And I feel like, correct, there's more journey to be had.
And there's like, you have a different timeline or pace that
you have to honor. And I think that's a big lesson
for us, especially in our 30s, where you're pressured to be at
(36:43):
some point, considering you're not playing anymore.
Like you're not playing. You're already in your 30s, so
you're supposed to be somewhere.Yeah, I get what you.
Mean, yeah. So just also.
An additional question, we have very different jobs especially
in the Philippines. I don't think my line of work
doesn't have much hazard associated with it.
(37:06):
But for you especially that you are a government employee, is
there like a hazard associated Ithink?
There is a hazard when it comes to the kind of problem, because
of course our job are both problem solving.
I feel like yeah, yeah, yeah. You solve codes, you solve bugs
(37:28):
and problems, but also I solve problems.
But these are problems of people.
Warm bodies, Yes, and that's right.
Might threaten. Yes, those might threaten
relationships, liberty, life andetcetera.
So I feel like that's my problemwith becoming a lawyer.
(37:49):
I feel like because I'm a generally person with a happy
disposition, very much you are. I feel like there's a
disillusionment in my end in terms of my job because it's not
very rosy. Like the basic gist of my job is
that we buy problems, we get paid for this much and even
people complain of how high our fees are and we even like give
(38:13):
them discounts. I don't charge much, but then it
feels like they own you because that you're taking on their
problems. And that problem is just one
problem of a certain person. That's the whole thing.
But that's just one of our problems that we're trying to
solve. Yeah.
So I feel like it also takes a very big toll on my mental
(38:36):
health because it doesn't stop at 8:00 to 5:00.
I bring them home with me. I bring them when I sleep.
I bring them to the shower when I wake up.
So how do you? Dissociate.
You know what? I'm I really am not good at
dissociating right now because Ijust really don't reply to
messages. I I put boundaries.
So when it's good on you, 5:00, I really put my Oh no.
(38:59):
So maybe 7:00 or 9:00 PM Sorry, I 79 PMI really don't accept
calls now. Yeah.
And if I don't know the number, I don't accept them.
That's also security purposes. But also weekends I don't work
very good. I just really choose my battles
now. But then then again, these
people feed me somehow. Yeah, because of their of their
(39:21):
roblems. But yeah, it constantly
challenges me. And sometimes I think if am I
doing enough for my clients and am I doing enough as a lawyer to
myself? Like there's a vision of a
lawyer in me. Like I want a lawyer that is
this and that. Am I still staying true to that?
(39:42):
So I guess that's a question that I'm also internalizing and
trying to answer right now in the season of my life.
Yeah, I get what? You mean because like, well, of
course my relatives are not going to be listening to this,
but like my aunt, it is a frequent kind of yours, yes.
And she? Would send me messages at
Saturday or Sunday. I sent Clara a message and she
hasn't replied. I'm like, yeah, because it's a
(40:04):
Saturday. I really.
Don't. I don't know.
It's OK. I really don't reply to people
now, right? So it's, yeah, sometimes it's a
holiday. Like, yeah, it's a.
Holiday. She's having the time of her
life practicing. That right now.
So I hope people understand thatI'm also just human too, yeah.
But again, as an attorney or a lawyer, who do you think you are
(40:28):
more similar to? Are you more Harvey Specter or
are you more analyst skating? Or let me add one more to the
mix because you're in the government.
I'll leave you hope. Honestly, I feel like I'm a
Harvey Specter. How do you think?
So yes, I know. I.
Think so I feel. Like the heart is there.
(40:48):
Like Harvey Specter and you're. Badass and awesome, yeah, but
in. Terms of, I think charisma in
the office right now. I'm kinda in Olivia Pope's
journey. Of course not.
No, no, not that part. But I feel like I am enjoying
(41:08):
the trust and confidence of my superior and that's all I'm
enjoying. OK, OK.
Not anything else, not the infidelity.
It's not that. Part Oh my God, no.
So I just want to make that clear, OK?
Another thing, maybe it's not a five years thing or probably a
10 years thing for us because there are tendency for older
(41:33):
people to become professors. Do you think it is in the cards
for you? Oh.
Yes, definitely. I love.
What do you want it to be? Earlier.
I think it will come sooner rather than later, but I'm still
looking for the perfect job for me in that area.
Yes, I applied for that position.
(41:55):
I was offered a full time job, which I can't because I don't
think it's I have like an 8 to 5, yeah.
But maybe you could do part time?
Maybe along with. Masters.
Like half masters half. So we'll see.
So how about? In the Academy, do you plan to
proceed like we talked about theStrain dinner?
Yeah. Maybe Masters.
(42:15):
And then I'm still thinking if it's within the Philippines or
outside. But then we also have to think
the logistics because I'm always, always worried about my
father because he's the only parent I have now.
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm also.
Like the one managing our business affairs at home.
Yeah. And our business.
So like that, we'll see. I really don't know, Bestie.
(42:37):
Like so many things are happening, yeah.
Yeah, you know what? I hear you, because I don't even
know what I'm gonna eat tomorrow.
So don't ask me what I'm gonna be in five years from now.
Yes, it's a difficult question, but it's also good to have.
Just things you like. Yeah, like a North Star guiding
light. Yeah, Yeah, exactly.
(42:58):
Wow, Look at us. Another episode down and I
didn't. Even prepare for this, I didn't.
Even prepare for this, Yeah. So what do you think, guys?
Where are you at in your career and what do you wanna change in
that aspect of you we wanna hearfrom?
You at least leave your commentsdown below on the Spotify
(43:18):
comments down below. And if you wanna have some
suggestions, comments about thisepisode and everything and
whatnot, it's down there. Or if you have some situational
questions you would like us to discuss in the podcast, you can
e-mail us at hello30somethings@gmail.com.
That's hello30somethings@gmail.com.
(43:41):
Yes. Perfect.
And of course, we now have our official ID with the username 30
somethings pod, 30 somethings pod as in POD up in Instagram.
And you can follow us there because we don't have followers
yet and we would love a good following of people.
(44:02):
And so again, what a wonderful episode this has been.
Lark Yeah, very. Cathartic and like a therapy
session. I hope it.
Feels the same for our. Listeners, because we're
unpacking trauma. Trauma, yes.
So thank you very much for listening guys, and again, see
you next episode. Bye.
Bye.
So apparently Clark didn't know we're doing a double episode
tonight. For our recording.
For our recording. And so he ate our chicken
leisurely and so slowly. He didn't know we were recording
something tonight. And so he, you know, speed
(00:28):
reading of our episode. And thank you, Clark.
So we actually just had like, a 5 minute break.
Yeah, after dinner. And we played a few songs.
And I just noted that a song is more memorable than a friend
recommends it, right? Yes, because there is an
associated memory for when and how.
Yeah. And although you've heard it and
(00:50):
then you take a listen to it again and I feel like why does
my friend like this? So I should really like.
Yeah. But also there are types of
songs that you already associatewith your friends like.
This is a. Very this person.
Sorry. It's a song, Clark Song.
Yeah, exactly correct. And so this is kind of heavy.
I feel like this episode. Yeah.
(01:12):
You know. Yeah, we're gonna be talking
about our careers. I actually when we had a debrief
earlier on this episode because you know, I forgot that we're
doing 2 episodes. Tonight.
Recording tonight, yeah. Recording this episode might get
me fired. Actually, he told me some trade
secrets that I am bound not to tell anyone because he'll be
(01:36):
surely fired for sure. Because I think there is a like
circumstance somewhere in the news.
Yes, we won't say. Yes, that's all I'm allowed to.
Say, all right, legally, becausemy lawyer is here.
Our episode is Career in Your 30s.
Is this what we signed up for, Bestie?
My God, this is such a loaded question.
(01:57):
I think. Yeah, considering that we've
grown up and studied in a schoolthe way we did.
Our. Habit, our habit.
Perfection is our goal. So I feel like career is 1
touchy topic for each one of us.Yeah, survivors.
(02:18):
Yeah, but going with the excellence is our habit.
Profession is our goal. Do you think you have carried
that mantra to your job right now?
Maybe before, but right now I'm like really chilling.
I can say 2025, I've been reallychilling at work, but because of
(02:38):
that, I'm also in an existentialcrisis right now in terms of
what do I really wanna do. But of course we're gonna get
into that in a little while. So I think to start, do you have
some many games for me right nowor again, No, no, nothing.
Let's just maybe introduce ourselves again and what we do
and how many years in industry. For as far as since it's career
(02:59):
day, so quick on your feet, Clark, that's why I really
admire you because you're so smart and quick on your feet.
OK? So should you start go OK?
My name is Clark. By the way, Please remember this
because this is gonna be useful in future episodes.
Why? Why?
I mean, the next episode is exciting and this is important.
(03:20):
OK? So introduce yourself again.
Again, my name is Clark. I'm 32 years old this recording.
I am a software engineer right now currently focusing on AI and
I've been on the industry for 11or 12.
Years, dude. Really.
Congratulations, dude. Seriously.
(03:41):
I'm so proud of you. You've been like a working man.
OK. Hi.
Good evening. I'm Clarissa.
To my friends, they call me Clan, but you can't call me that
yet. So I'm a practicing lawyer, I've
been one since 2018 and I love it.
(04:02):
But I feel like sometimes exhausting.
And we have me, Clark and I, we have different passions as well,
apart from our work, of course, one of which is this podcast.
So we're gonna talk about our careers.
So completely different backgrounds.
But here we. Are.
But here we are, and I think we diverge in one thing, this
(04:22):
mantra. We grew up with this mantra.
Excellence is our habit. Perfection is our goal.
So the question is, have we beenexcellent all our lives, Clark?
I would say yes. And no, yeah.
No, I think you wouldn't really say excellence is 100%.
There's always downtime, and I would consider my downtime as
part of my excellence. Oh, that's true.
I feel like I'm being too hard on myself when I say that we
(04:47):
haven't been excellent all the time.
But you're correct, down times are part of excellence.
Are we perfect though? And are we?
No, absolutely not. No, absolutely not.
I was gonna say that with the mantra that was instilled on us
since we were younger. Excellence is our habit.
Profession is our goal. We could actually just stop on
the first part. Excellence is our habit.
Yeah, like, we're excellent and we can make it a habit, but
(05:10):
profession is our goal. Where's the humanity in that?
That's. True.
Anyways, so we're going to talk about that.
I think First off, how's your career five years ago versus now
and did you expect to be here at30 something for?
My case, it wouldn't really be five years ago.
I would say two years in as a junior developer, it was like
(05:34):
the worst time in my career because I feel like it was two
years. And like when you started?
Yeah, yeah, OK. Automatic right now I.
Think I remember that. Oh my.
God. Yeah.
Yeah, almost every day is like overtime.
Was it dreadful? Horrible.
There was this one time, it was Mark's birthday, Our editor.
(05:55):
Yeah. And we were supposed to
celebrate the birthday. And I was stuck at work because
I had to fix a bug that was needed to be fixed by, like,
apparently that day. The world has to be saved.
Okay, I figure. Was my OT. 20. 2015.
Yeah, I felt like I was in the birth.
(06:15):
Probably because when you were school.
Okay, go ahead then, yeah. And then I was at work until
2:00 AM. Oh.
My God that sucks. 2:00 AM. I felt bad for my senior because
she was also forced to do the OTalong with me.
Yeah, we had to fix the bug. And just like, thank you for
doing the work, Clark, for staying 2:00 AM.
And it was so mad and pissed offthat I had to stay until 2:00
(06:39):
AM. I was like, no, miss, it was
just doing my job. You don't have to thank me.
Such a horrible person. Yeah.
But like, yeah, right now it was.
Also it was so nice of you to say that because yes it was your
job but you didn't have to do that at 2 AMI feel like.
Yeah, and you know what, after that, when I went to the party,
(07:00):
everyone was drunk. There's already stories to be
told and I'm there, just burnt out trying to spoil.
Everyone's. I remember this.
Oh my God. Oh my.
God. So again, again, going back to
the topic, it's not five years ago for me, but like maybe two
years in, which is like maybe, but.
It was in your 20s, right? Yeah, yeah.
Versus now versus now versus. Now like you, I kind of take a
(07:24):
chilled laid back approach approach to my job, especially
when I'm working from home. I feel like my downtime is my
downtime but I still do have boundaries when doing work from
home but just a chill more relaxed approach in my job.
How about you so? I think for me, literally five
(07:44):
years ago, yeah, I feel like I was doing a completely different
job. It was my first job after law
school and even before I passed the bar.
And until I passed the bar, it was a corporate job.
Not necessarily, but it was a big law firm.
Yes, it is. It's a big law firm in the
Philippines that has a Cebu office, the task, corporate
(08:06):
clients and big clients. And because of that, because it
was a small office, so there wasno middle management, just
really like the partner and thenthe associate, the junior
associates. And so like the burnout was
real. And then growing up with a
boomer parent who said that you know what, it's not for the
(08:27):
money, it's for the experience. You just really stay there, be
patient, and then just do your job because you're there to
absorb everything and like that.And so part of it was true.
I really learned a lot. Like one month felt like a year
from yeah, like I stayed there for almost 4 years.
So good for me, right? But good and bad for me because
(08:50):
it was really, I would say toxic.
Like I went there 8 AMI go home by 10:11.
I was like a robot. I have to go home, which is like
an hour or two hours away depending on traffic.
I just sleep and then wake up again.
I didn't have a life. But work wise I learned a lot.
(09:11):
Like, it was such a fast learning process for me in terms
of managing a law firm, appearing in court and even
writing. I feel like my writing really
developed at the time. But in terms of personal life,
maintaining my personal connections and mental health,
it was awful. Like, I do remember, yes.
Like I can't even plan a weekendwith you guys because, yeah, I
(09:33):
might be called to work. Yeah, because of deadlines.
And then and I feel like somehowit was partly because of this
job that I was awful to my family in the sense that I'm so
stressful. So I have a really short fuse
and I clap back at someone immediately, like my brother
when he jokes at me, I clap back.
(09:53):
And then even my previous partner was I think the first
victim or like the front liner and all of this because I had
short fuse. I was like very critical,
insulting and I. Do remember, like I was already
in Japan, so sometimes when I visit here every December, it
was hard. I could see the effect on you
(10:15):
because even if we're hanging out, yeah, you still have half
your foot on the. Job I know like I was calling my
call all. The time I.
Know. And then although of course the
pay was good because this is corporate.
So yeah, the pay was really goodand then the benefits were good
too. But is it worth it though?
That's like really the question,is it worth losing your
(10:37):
relationship with your family, your loved ones and your
friends? Well, I can say now it's not.
I was becoming a horrible person, given that I'm a brown
woman. I was so pale at that time.
I didn't get any sign. I was really ashy.
And then five years after, I'm now in government service and
actually I feel more relaxed andI'm mastering my work life
(11:02):
balance. But I also am happier these days
'cause I get to go home while the sun is still shining, the
sun is still there even though it's about to set.
And then I get to plan out things with my friends.
I get to see you more. But now the challenge is
complacency, as with government institutions, especially local
(11:23):
government, there's like, because it's just 8585, so you
become very complacent. So now my challenge is, and that
is the root of my existential crisis right now.
Is that it? Where am I going?
Like, OK, I have this job. People like adore me.
People revert me because I'm a lawyer.
But then what? Now, Like, where am I going?
(11:46):
Yeah, So I'm there on. This kind of thing as well in
our first episode about where everything is going.
Yes. And then because we're at a
certain age also, Bestie, you never really get over
questioning yourself. Like, am I good enough?
Or like, are all the praises andeverything correct?
(12:07):
Like, yeah, it's the age of the Buster.
Syndrome. But do you ever feel that when
you were in your 20s? Yeah.
Of course. And even up to now, it's always
going to be the ghost that's going to hunt you.
Yeah. And it's it just takes a
different form in the earlier parts of a career.
I think it would be applicable to both of us where we feel like
we've learned everything in school.
(12:29):
Like especially for you, you pass the bar and then starting
with your first job. Even me, for me, this is my
first time that's job so far. It's like, am I good enough?
Am I doing this? The right way, Did I learn
everything correctly? Those kinds of things.
And especially for you, I suppose since you are lawyers,
(12:50):
it's more about practice. So there's a wide area to range.
And As for? Me, which is very just logical.
It's all codes lights, but also you.
Have to be on track because technology that develops who.
Would have thought that would bean AI engineer right now, right?
Yes, so. Then it was always about did I
(13:11):
learn enough in college to actually show up for do I
deserve this pay? That kind of thing.
But now. But now, Oh my God.
I deserve more. Right, so there's this feeling
like I'm just gonna do what I'm paid to do.
Like you always told me that. Yeah.
My God, guys, we're paid this. We have to act that way.
(13:33):
Yes, we have to. Yeah.
So I'm quietly learning that now.
I mean, we don't have. Yes.
You don't have to burn yourself out for a job that treats you as
a replaceable person because honestly, and our jobs, we're
all replaceable. That's true.
Even my boss said I'm replaceable.
(13:53):
Clarissa, do you think? Now that we have this mindset,
we're just all better and dated.Well, not.
Necessarily, I don't know, maybewe are, but, you know, there are
much older or dated people, yeah, than we are.
And then look at us. I feel like it's kind of bleak
to think that, though. Yeah.
Like. Maybe we end up like them, yeah.
(14:15):
So question, you're an AI engineer right now.
You're a developer. I'm a lawyer.
Was this like part of the plan? Like, was this your original
idea? Like was this the one you put in
your intermediate pad when you were asked?
What's your dream career? OK, let's.
Let's unpack the stronger, OK? Let's go.
Let's do that. I never expected it.
(14:38):
I would be a software developer in the 1st place.
Yeah, because I don't think it was what I wanted for a course,
But what? Did you want in the first place?
To be a psych major, well. You are still.
But I don't know why like my parents have valid points.
Like OK you're going to be a psych major then what?
(15:00):
They're going to be HRHR not to put our HR friends the sitting
right now. It doesn't pay that well in the.
Philippines, but in other countries it does pay well,
maybe for like. Psychometry and psychiatrist,
Yes. Yes.
Yes, yes, it pays. Well, but in the Philippines,
it's mostly HR, that kind of thing, yeah.
That's true, depending on the companies as well, yeah.
(15:20):
And they were saying like IT, you have the skills and that's
the. Future, though, in the
Millennium, Yeah, especially. Back then there was like an IT
boom. So they were along with nurses,
yeah. After the nurses, so they were
really pushing that I do anything IT related.
I'm like, yeah, what the hell? I'm not paying for college.
You're paying for it, so might as well.
And I always knew that wherever you put me, I would survive.
(15:44):
And. You know, Betsy, I think this
was also fitting for you becauseyou're also very smart in math.
Like you're good at numbers. I know that like not to.
Toot my own horn, but I know my skills and my capabilities.
Wherever you put me, I would survive, I would thrive.
So I know that if even if I do something I don't want to do, I
(16:05):
would excel. Yeah.
Yeah. And I think this is something
that maybe my parents got right.Yes.
And. I'm not saying.
That my parents are horrible. I'm just saying that they they,
they were right about this. So you.
Think you're in a career that suits you well?
Yeah, I would say that and. Then you wouldn't have it any
other way. We don't know that.
(16:25):
I don't know. I don't know, I.
Wouldn't, I'm not 100% confidentthat I would say this because
I'm still kind of curious what would have been in another
world. But right now I'm, Oh my God,
no, please, I'm OK with where, where I am now, I suppose in
this world, really. That's good for you, bestie.
How about? You, you know.
I really. Don't know your hopes and dreams
(16:46):
when you were younger? Oh, really?
Well, honestly, I really didn't know because I just knew that I
wanted to be like, the moment I saw this Feng shui book, I
always wanted to be like an architect or something.
Yeah, that's. That's some sort of, yeah.
And then I think I had this bestfriend, Trixie.
Yeah, yeah, Trixie wanted to be a lawyer.
(17:10):
And so I, like, piggybacked on her dream.
I'm like, OK, I'm gonna be a lawyer to or an architect,
perhaps. And then going off, I think my
father was like a frustrated whatever, a statesman I guess.
And then my mom was abroad and Itold her mom, I want to be like
an architect or something. So you know what?
My dream for you and your dad's dream for you is to be a lawyer.
(17:32):
So I feel like OK, so like with my limited knowledge, I knew
that pre law courses would be like political science,
something like that. So I applied for both side and
architecture and then I got the architecture from the Lehman but
then my mom got sick so I can't be away.
(17:53):
So I took the one in Cebu, whichwas called Sai, and I just go
with the flow when it comes withto my academics.
Like it's not that I don't work hard.
Yeah, like whatever comes, whatever shoe drops, I just take
it because it's there. And I felt like, well, say it
was OK for me. It was fun.
It was easy for me actually. And then I went to law school
(18:16):
and while it was kind of difficult, the exams were
difficult, but it went easy. Also.
It was hard like all other things like school and work, but
I went through it with no problems at all, just to
breathe. Yeah, and.
Then the bar came, I actually enjoyed my review and then I
passed something like that. So I feel like even though it's
(18:39):
a path I really don't want to take, but it was presented to me
so easily. I think it's really meant for
me, the law thing, and I have come to love it, especially at
work, although it was stressful.But I see it now that my skills
are suited for this kind of job.Yeah, it suits you.
(19:00):
Well, yeah, I. Know so I still think of
architecture, home design. Yeah, you know me, that's the
drawing art. And so I'm quietly pursuing
that. So I guess that's it.
So is it my dream? Maybe because it's my parents
dream and my parents dream are part of my dreams?
(19:20):
I feel like it's a valid dream for me so I.
Guess it would be safe to say like younger us wouldn't have
expected us to be here. Yes, but we are content with
where we are. Oh I love.
It yes, yes. Moving forward, moving forward.
I think now that we've gone through the career path that we
did, like the junior to being seniors or where we are right
(19:45):
now. How do you fare on burnout
versus boundaries? So how do you balance burnout
and then boundaries actually? That's a very good way of
phrasing it, because as young ones in our 20s, I don't think
we didn't really know where our boundaries lie of.
Course like we were people pleasers exactly through and
(20:08):
through. So I guess.
Those two words should go and inhand with each other burnout and
boundaries. Because once you start setting
your own boundary, no, no, not your own, sacrificing your.
Boundaries, yeah. But once you know where those
boundaries lie, there is a smallchance of burnout because as
young Once again, you would takethe job until overtime. 2:00 AM
(20:31):
because you. Think OK, that's what I just you
think you have. You also think that's what you
deserve, but also you're trying to prove your worth.
You're trying to prove that you're not replaceable.
But again, as you mentioned earlier, everyone's replaceable
in a job, but also. Bestie, even though that was
difficult and that was also an instance that would lead to
burnout, but hard work or moments like that also define
(20:55):
you, I feel like. Yeah, I.
Mean and overtime. Once in a while would test your
character, but again, if there are no boundaries, there's a
tendency that you would be doingover time every day, like what
happened to you without going home at 10 every day, 2:00 AM,
Yeah, you know that kind of thing.
Guys, for our listeners that arein their 20s, yeah.
(21:18):
So I. Think it's also kind of relevant
right now because as millennials, we're between the
boomers and Gen. Z's, right?
And I've spoken to my mentor before and she said that
turnover rates are actually pretty high because people,
especially the Gen. Z's and even millennials, quit
their work so easily, especiallyfor minor inconvenience or if
(21:41):
they think that this job doesn'tsuit them or does not serve
their higher purpose. So what do you think about that?
You know what? There are things to be learned
from their generation. I am so amazed at how easy they
are able to immediately start setting the boundaries.
Like they know where they want in their career.
(22:01):
That's why it's easier for them to quit.
Actually, I do remember back in our 20s when some of our friends
would quit their jobs after likea few weeks or a few days.
Like, Are you sure? Are you OK?
But you know, looking back now, like, good for them, right?
I actually know like what I said.
About I'm also envious about people like that because I think
(22:22):
that's also brave, but also bestie.
There's also strength and bravery in staying, yes.
Yes, I was. I was going to get into this
point because working with Gen. Z, hear me out.
I feel like I'm going to talk a whole generation and I'm going
to probably be cancelled. But again, the resilience is not
there. Yeah.
(22:43):
Because staying at one job and experiencing the difficulties
and all the trials and tribulations, but also of
course, in return experiencing the triumph and accomplishment
builds character, yes, builds resiliency, patience.
But then of course, we have to balance it out when?
Yeah. Setting the boundaries right,
(23:04):
yeah, because there's. Always the saying of the go and
get stuff. So you know, experience the
going and stuff. And well, maybe this is going to
contradict what we said earlier about setting boundaries, but
how do you know that that is theextent of your boundary if you
don't push the boundary? That's right.
And then maybe push it and then know where's the limit.
Yeah. Know the limit, don't be very
(23:27):
complacent on but then. Again, it's always easier said
than done because you have to gothrough it.
Very valid. And so right now best you were
in our 30s. So objectively I guess we have
improved in our position, salaryand everything, but then there's
(23:49):
also inner peace and then work life balance.
So what do you feel like successshould be in your tender age of
20 and then your ripe age of 30?Yeah.
I actually don't know how do I measure success even then, even
now for a lot of people, they say it's when you reach the
(24:13):
certain amount of monthly pay orbeing able to feed a whole
family of how many X amount of heads, but that's not me.
So I don't know. But also factoring in your
equation in that as mentioned earlier about happiness, I
actually don't know where those things fit in.
Fit in. Or matter, but I feel like I
(24:37):
would say about like 6070% successful.
I would say I think work wise, Ifeel successful when I'm
learning. OK, So like I feel like if
there's room for me to learn in this position, then OK, because
I feel like you never really, I'm so weird, but I, I feel like
(25:00):
success is elusive. Like, OK, you feel successful
now, but then there's another step to that, right?
But I feel like success is always, there's a space for
learning, but at the same time comfort.
I feel like when you're comfortable, like you can spend
this much and not have to worry,you can sleep at night, like
(25:23):
comfortably. You have Peace of Mind.
And I guess it depends upon person to person.
So like, yeah, success can come with in different ways.
Like you go home 8:00 to 5:00 and you have time for your
family and hobbies. Yes.
Hobbies and then you also have like going up the ladder
corporate. Yeah, yeah, corporate.
Ladder or the institution and then that would be success too.
(25:46):
But right now in my 20s, I feel like that would be success for
me. Like being the boss, being like
having the salary, having this big house, They feel like
success for me now. I don't know how to describe it
yet, but I feel like I know the ingredients to what success
(26:06):
looks like for me. Then you can.
Ask if you already have the problem of your.
Ingredients. But yeah, I think comfort for me
is success. Like I'm comfortable, my family
is comfortable, and then I have Peace of Mind.
And of course it doesn't hurt that I have a big salary and big
paycheck. Oh my God, I feel.
(26:27):
Salary like I I feel like I really do deserve a lot more.
I mean, same besties, same. My God.
Like, we've been excellent our whole lives.
And yeah, hear us out. Yeah, yeah.
I mean. And with this inflation, Oh my
God. And you know.
Pay for a mortgage for this condo for like 5.
Years and your condo, by the way, this looks like success to
(26:50):
me. This is a pretty good condo.
Yeah, that's why. I think that's also something
you should factor in for successis to count your blessings,
count all the things that you are able to afford right now.
There might be days when you wake up and you're like, oh,
another work day. Oh, it's another Monday, blah,
blah, blah. And but it's also nice to be
able to check your progress. Like you know that saying
(27:14):
Malayupa Malayuna, Yes, that's. So I feel like always success
and career wise, it's always a continuing thing.
We're only halfway their besties, so we don't know.
Tired. We're always.
Tired. I think being tired is perpetual
In any I think in any aspect of life, we always get tired.
(27:37):
That's what I. Hate about the rat race though.
It's always gonna be chasing up to the next milestone and
whatever. Yeah, but I.
Don't think the rat race is justlimited to 8:00 to 5:00.
I mean, no, yeah, everything's arat race.
Yeah, like the. Whole life itself.
I would really sound realistic right now, which I actually am,
but yeah, it just gets tiring. So I have a.
(28:00):
Question, considering that, you know, we have different hobbies
as well and then we we have likeparked dreams in the back
burner. Do you think like at our age
30s, is it too late to pivot to another career perhaps?
Like what do you think and what can you advise to our listeners?
(28:20):
I don't think I'm the right person to say.
This. But like, there are a lot of
infographs about people startingtheir career figuring themselves
out at like 3542, whatever, 50, but in this economy in the
Philippines. Bra.
(28:41):
Get your shit together as early as possible.
That's true, and we're not whitepeople.
Most of the people on on those infographs that I've seen are
white. Yeah, So that's it.
Also, no, it's not very realistic as well because I hate
to say this, but people have theprivilege to choose to have
different choices. If you have money, yes, you have
(29:03):
the resources. Because when all you care is
survival, you don't really care for passion.
Yeah, You really don't care for other career choices.
But to survive, Yeah, To feed. Yourselves, yeah, so.
You also have to be sensitive and realistic as well.
So shout out to employers and the government as well.
(29:25):
Hello. Again, and also I'm always
amazed at how with my coworkers,we have about the same pay, but
then they're also feeding their family.
Like what do you mean you're feeding a whole family with this
salary and I'm just feeding myself and I can I cannot barely
afford myself. What do you mean?
But actually. Bestie, I've read some research
(29:48):
about this, that it's more economical to get married
because then you'll have double income but and then then just
like spiraling through it and then huh.
But you also have to feed 2 mouths and then you have to feed
like. But single people are really
expensive, I feel like because you have so many things to buy
because. There's.
(30:09):
I think that's also actually true because there's also no one
to check and balance, yes, your expenses, yeah, so.
That's where I'm at right now. Cuz you know me.
I'm kinda like a generous spender for myself.
Yeah. And right now I'm dating a
spendthrift guy. So like when I buy something
(30:31):
like he makes me think like, Areyou sure?
Like you want this? You still have this at home and
like that, Oh, that's too expensive.
Like so when I shop like I really go shopping spree, I go
alone or like OK, random. Aside very much far, not really
our. Topic Yeah, When was the last?
(30:51):
Time you bought shoes. You know, shoes are like our
thing, my God like. Last year, right, we bought like
1 shoe per month. I feel like yes, that's.
True. OK.
So just here. Wait wait wait aside.
No, because the big spends for me are actually the sneakers
(31:11):
because they're more expensive than my heels.
I just bought heels last month but I don't count them shoes but
like. Yeah, that's but I don't.
Count them. I don't count.
Slippers or whatever. Yeah, so.
I don't count my heels, but whenwe say sneakers, I haven't
bought any this year, but I'm buying this one.
That's my plan. The last time I bought footwear,
(31:34):
well, except, you know, indoor sleepers or whatever cuz they
don't count. Yeah, was last November.
Oh my. God, oh good for you.
Look at. Me.
Yeah, but I'm planning to buy one cuz I wanna like treat
myself with a pair of shoes cuz I live in my dad and my brother
and my brother cuz we're all single in the household.
My brother said you have lots ofshoes then what are you doing?
(31:58):
You only have one set of. That's it.
Yeah. OK.
So having talked about our career now and before, I guess
the natural question right now is where do we go from here?
Clark like. Basically we're raising myself
up here. So now yes.
Or do your dreams still hold or something like that?
(32:19):
OK, just a. Random anecdote, I was asked
this question during my interview for my first job and
my only job so far. Where do you see yourself?
Five years from now and then what?
Did you say honestly I wasn't taking the?
Interview seriously but guess I answered correctly cuz I got the
job by. The way.
They asked me where do you see yourself from now?
(32:40):
And then I answered probably backpacking around Southeast
Asia, like maybe in Thailand, Kabul.
Exactly. And that's what I did exactly 5
years from that interview. So I guess that joke became a
reality. But like, I wouldn't really say
I was joking, but I felt like that's what I wanted to do.
But now asking me where do I seemyself five years from now?
(33:01):
I actually don't know but as a joking but also not really
joking cuz that's how it worked for me so I am hoping it would
work again. For me this time.
I would probably be around Europe.
Me too. I mean, we might be together by
then. What?
Yeah, I wanna go there. We haven't been there.
Yeah, we haven't. Been I want to be Europe based
(33:23):
really. Yeah, like then I'm going to
have to visit you because how are we going to record our
podcast? Yeah, like.
That's what you did with me in Japan, so I think it's about to
happen. Eventually it will.
And I think the stars will alignfor us, yeah.
How about you for five years? From now, really, I don't know.
I think I'm gonna be a business owner by then.
(33:43):
I feel like it's gonna fly. Yeah, because we've.
Always been talking about business even.
Before maybe traveling to Europebecause I always want to go
there, or maybe United States. I want to go because my
relatives are Yeah, you have a closet in.
New York and then. Maybe that and then relationship
(34:03):
wise, well, we'll have to wait next episode for the.
Next few episodes, yes. OK.
So we've pretty much covered everything except for, I think,
the unspoken things. This would be the last big part
of our conversation. How do you fare with comparing
yourself to others in terms of career?
(34:25):
Yeah. This is actually a big thing.
Back then, in my early 20s, I got into this company which
didn't really pay well and also,by the way, doesn't still pay
well. Again, this might be the reason
why I might get fired, but like,here we are.
Actually, there's a deeper reason he might get fired, but
we won't say it yet, but. It really frustrated me that
(34:47):
most of my batch mates got into a job that paid more than my
job. And considering that back in
college they were the type of people who would copy my
answers, yes, and I would carry the whole team for the whole
project, that kind of thing. And they got jobs that are more
(35:10):
high paying than mine. It really frustrated me.
So then then I saw it as like competition.
And I would even say that now they could afford bigger, better
things than I can. But actually now and traveling.
Through Europe, yeah. Those kinds of things, I'm
actually happy for them. Right.
I think you get to that place. Yeah, eventually, yeah.
(35:34):
Yeah, and I would say that there's more journey to be had
at my end. I suppose I'm tired of the
character development, but I guess it is character.
Development for me, yeah, I haveto say the same thing for
myself, Bestie. I feel like, well, I really have
no complaints about my career. I feel like because as lawyers
(35:58):
our journey is unique, but then of course you get to compare
yourself, especially if your contemporaries have like big
houses or like businesses or like big high paying clients,
something like that. But then it puts you in
perspective because at the same time you have this big wonderful
life that you forget because of this and that.
(36:20):
And then you have qualities thatare also better than others.
And I feel like, correct, there's more journey to be had.
And there's like, you have a different timeline or pace that
you have to honor. And I think that's a big lesson
for us, especially in our 30s, where you're pressured to be at
(36:43):
some point, considering you're not playing anymore.
Like you're not playing. You're already in your 30s, so
you're supposed to be somewhere.Yeah, I get what you.
Mean, yeah. So just also.
An additional question, we have very different jobs especially
in the Philippines. I don't think my line of work
doesn't have much hazard associated with it.
(37:06):
But for you especially that you are a government employee, is
there like a hazard associated Ithink?
There is a hazard when it comes to the kind of problem, because
of course our job are both problem solving.
I feel like yeah, yeah, yeah. You solve codes, you solve bugs
(37:28):
and problems, but also I solve problems.
But these are problems of people.
Warm bodies, Yes, and that's right.
Might threaten. Yes, those might threaten
relationships, liberty, life andetcetera.
So I feel like that's my problemwith becoming a lawyer.
(37:49):
I feel like because I'm a generally person with a happy
disposition, very much you are. I feel like there's a
disillusionment in my end in terms of my job because it's not
very rosy. Like the basic gist of my job is
that we buy problems, we get paid for this much and even
people complain of how high our fees are and we even like give
(38:13):
them discounts. I don't charge much, but then it
feels like they own you because that you're taking on their
problems. And that problem is just one
problem of a certain person. That's the whole thing.
But that's just one of our problems that we're trying to
solve. Yeah.
So I feel like it also takes a very big toll on my mental
(38:36):
health because it doesn't stop at 8:00 to 5:00.
I bring them home with me. I bring them when I sleep.
I bring them to the shower when I wake up.
So how do you? Dissociate.
You know what? I'm I really am not good at
dissociating right now because Ijust really don't reply to
messages. I I put boundaries.
So when it's good on you, 5:00, I really put my Oh no.
(38:59):
So maybe 7:00 or 9:00 PM Sorry, I 79 PMI really don't accept
calls now. Yeah.
And if I don't know the number, I don't accept them.
That's also security purposes. But also weekends I don't work
very good. I just really choose my battles
now. But then then again, these
people feed me somehow. Yeah, because of their of their
(39:21):
roblems. But yeah, it constantly
challenges me. And sometimes I think if am I
doing enough for my clients and am I doing enough as a lawyer to
myself? Like there's a vision of a
lawyer in me. Like I want a lawyer that is
this and that. Am I still staying true to that?
(39:42):
So I guess that's a question that I'm also internalizing and
trying to answer right now in the season of my life.
Yeah, I get what? You mean because like, well, of
course my relatives are not going to be listening to this,
but like my aunt, it is a frequent kind of yours, yes.
And she? Would send me messages at
Saturday or Sunday. I sent Clara a message and she
hasn't replied. I'm like, yeah, because it's a
(40:04):
Saturday. I really.
Don't. I don't know.
It's OK. I really don't reply to people
now, right? So it's, yeah, sometimes it's a
holiday. Like, yeah, it's a.
Holiday. She's having the time of her
life practicing. That right now.
So I hope people understand thatI'm also just human too, yeah.
But again, as an attorney or a lawyer, who do you think you are
(40:28):
more similar to? Are you more Harvey Specter or
are you more analyst skating? Or let me add one more to the
mix because you're in the government.
I'll leave you hope. Honestly, I feel like I'm a
Harvey Specter. How do you think?
So yes, I know. I.
Think so I feel. Like the heart is there.
(40:48):
Like Harvey Specter and you're. Badass and awesome, yeah, but
in. Terms of, I think charisma in
the office right now. I'm kinda in Olivia Pope's
journey. Of course not.
No, no, not that part. But I feel like I am enjoying
(41:08):
the trust and confidence of my superior and that's all I'm
enjoying. OK, OK.
Not anything else, not the infidelity.
It's not that. Part Oh my God, no.
So I just want to make that clear, OK?
Another thing, maybe it's not a five years thing or probably a
10 years thing for us because there are tendency for older
(41:33):
people to become professors. Do you think it is in the cards
for you? Oh.
Yes, definitely. I love.
What do you want it to be? Earlier.
I think it will come sooner rather than later, but I'm still
looking for the perfect job for me in that area.
Yes, I applied for that position.
(41:55):
I was offered a full time job, which I can't because I don't
think it's I have like an 8 to 5, yeah.
But maybe you could do part time?
Maybe along with. Masters.
Like half masters half. So we'll see.
So how about? In the Academy, do you plan to
proceed like we talked about theStrain dinner?
Yeah. Maybe Masters.
(42:15):
And then I'm still thinking if it's within the Philippines or
outside. But then we also have to think
the logistics because I'm always, always worried about my
father because he's the only parent I have now.
Yeah. Yeah, and I'm also.
Like the one managing our business affairs at home.
Yeah. And our business.
So like that, we'll see. I really don't know, Bestie.
(42:37):
Like so many things are happening, yeah.
Yeah, you know what? I hear you, because I don't even
know what I'm gonna eat tomorrow.
So don't ask me what I'm gonna be in five years from now.
Yes, it's a difficult question, but it's also good to have.
Just things you like. Yeah, like a North Star guiding
light. Yeah, Yeah, exactly.
(42:58):
Wow, Look at us. Another episode down and I
didn't. Even prepare for this, I didn't.
Even prepare for this, Yeah. So what do you think, guys?
Where are you at in your career and what do you wanna change in
that aspect of you we wanna hearfrom?
You at least leave your commentsdown below on the Spotify
(43:18):
comments down below. And if you wanna have some
suggestions, comments about thisepisode and everything and
whatnot, it's down there. Or if you have some situational
questions you would like us to discuss in the podcast, you can
e-mail us at hello30somethings@gmail.com.
That's hello30somethings@gmail.com.
(43:41):
Yes. Perfect.
And of course, we now have our official ID with the username 30
somethings pod, 30 somethings pod as in POD up in Instagram.
And you can follow us there because we don't have followers
yet and we would love a good following of people.
(44:02):
And so again, what a wonderful episode this has been.
Lark Yeah, very. Cathartic and like a therapy
session. I hope it.
Feels the same for our. Listeners, because we're
unpacking trauma. Trauma, yes.
So thank you very much for listening guys, and again, see
you next episode. Bye.
Bye.
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