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August 18, 2025 • 15 mins
Dive into a witty and captivating collection of short biographies featuring notable figures from 5000 BC to 1914. Edited by S. McGaughey, this unique work offers a humorous twist on history, reminding us that only those with verifiable evidence of their passing are included in Who Was Who. The editor humorously declares that press releases and paid entries are strictly forbidden, ensuring a delightful and authentic reading experience. Revel in the engaging narratives brought to life by our talented readers Sean McGaughey (Sections 1-12), Jim Mowatt (Sections 1-4), Alan Davis Drake (Sections 1-2), Laurie Anne Walden (Sections 3-12), and Sibella Denton (Sections 5-12).
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Episode Transcript

Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Section three c of Who Was Who? By Irwin L. Gordon.
This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
visit LibriVox dot org. Caesar Julius, school book writer, river

(00:25):
crosser and a great politician who was not born in Ireland,
entered Roman politics as the leader of the gang. Was
active in military affairs, became a fair general despite his
poor service training. Desired to write a book. Began by
taking an army and capturing Europe and England. He did

(00:47):
not waste his time with Scotland or Ireland. Caesar made
a river famous by crossing it and finally included Rome
in his history of victories. Became popular with the voter,
but had trouble with the Senate. Wrote books and paid
his debts. Was finally attacked by a few vested interest

(01:08):
senators and stabbed by a chum. The murderer was caught
but escaped the gallows. Caesar was honored with one of
the finest funeral orations ever delivered over a corpse. He
was also awarded a few triumphant arches publications, Omni's Gallia

(01:31):
A de Vista in Trey Parsis Ambition Rome Address Capital
Rome Clubs Gladiators. Vestal was also a member of the
Society for the Protection of Roman Ruins. Epitaph venni Vedi.

Speaker 2 (01:54):
Cain, one of our ancestors of whom we do not brag.

Speaker 3 (02:00):
Honorable Joseph G Late of the Speaker's Chair, House of Representatives, Washington,
u s. A for centuries, Cannon occupied the chair and
tenderly protected poor railroads and trusts from the unkind remarks
of congressmen who knew things and him was finally retired
from the chair by the Democrats and from Congress by
his constituents. Grave nineteen twelve election Heir Champ Clark Ambition

(02:27):
those good old trusty days once more, Address the far
Backwoods epitaph r I p.

Speaker 1 (02:36):
Canute, a king of England who proved the theory that
the ocean could waive at him.

Speaker 2 (02:43):
Carlos, a man who does not believe ahead is uneasy,
which wears a crown Ambition Royal Palace, Madrid Address, Northern Spain.

Speaker 3 (02:56):
Carmen celebrated Spanish flirt. She worked in the government tobacco
factory at Seville until a clever writer and a musician
rescued her, went on the stage, has appeared in most
of the cities throughout the world, made love to several singers,
and then been killed by a bull fighter after singing
her way through five acts.

Speaker 1 (03:15):
Carnegie Andrew or Andy or the Laird of Skibo, a
fine old American who went about giving away libraries, advice,
peace buildings, and advertising armor plate. When a young scotchman,
he scotched his three dollars a week and purchased the
Steel Trust. Later retired ambition Universal Peace with all Dreadnoughts.

(03:43):
Steel Trust Armored also a library in every town recreation
telling young men how to scorn the root of all fortunes.
Also receiving university degrees, address university commencement platforms New York

(04:03):
City and Scotland.

Speaker 2 (04:05):
Carta a doctor who wants everybody to have liver trouble.

Speaker 3 (04:09):
Caruso Enrico, millionaire opera singer who appeared in The Victor,
Talking Machine and New York City, always had a cold
or a sore throat, a condition which assisted materially in
filling the house. Like all his contemporaries, Caruso has been
sued for divorce and breach of promise, has lost his jewelry,
visited zoological gardens, sung for charity, given farewell concerts, and

(04:32):
done other things to help his newspaper and box office reputation.

Speaker 1 (04:37):
Castelline, Count Bonnie Di, a French gold prospector who was
successful for a time in the U s.

Speaker 2 (04:45):
Casta, one of Leda's twins, also invented an oil see pollocks.

Speaker 3 (04:52):
Castro Cipriano of Venezuela, first man to introduce American Irish
politics into South America. Acquired a fortune which was greatly
increased by a personal friendship with the American Asphalt Trust,
was revolutionized a few times, and finally escaped with the
mint and his life career. Dangerous ambition, subjects without guns

(05:16):
and a New York police force in his country. Recreation
taxes address question.

Speaker 1 (05:24):
Mark Chamberlain Joe A of England, a former Lloyd George
of the Treasury who had different ideas of taxation.

Speaker 2 (05:34):
Gyro ferryman never had a childhood, devoted life to his business.
Has navigated more people than all the Atlantic Liners combined.
Ambition a launch recreation none address the Styx.

Speaker 3 (05:53):
Chaucer first name unknown, an early experimenter in the English
language notorious as a bad speller. His best known work
is used as a student puzzle in leading universities and colleges. Ambition,
a typewriter and a dictionary.

Speaker 1 (06:10):
Chinaman John, a well known character in the u s
who washed clothes and made chop suey until he had
enough money to return to his native land, purchase a
few wives, and live in Opium.

Speaker 2 (06:24):
Churchill Winston wrote books for a living.

Speaker 3 (06:28):
Churchill Winston did not write books for a living.

Speaker 1 (06:32):
Cincinnatis of Rome, who left his plow to make his
share in politics, later inaugurated the back to the farm movement.

Speaker 2 (06:41):
Cinderella, the only scullion maid who had a small foot
and two sisters in society. Historians have questioned her claims
to fame, but they may easily be substantiated by millions
of children.

Speaker 3 (06:57):
Claus Santa poor Father.

Speaker 1 (07:00):
Cleopatra of Egypt, a queen who presented England with a
threadless needle, fell in love with some foreigners, was unsuccessful
in her love and naval affairs, and finally became a
mummy through the auspices of an adder. Ambition and Egyptian
Saint Patrick. Also royal lovers, recreation, barging with Anthony Epitaph Pyramid.

Speaker 2 (07:30):
Climbers t h E an American man and woman who
had money and ambition. Spent the early portion of their
lives gathering cash and the latter and spending it. Were
welcomed by many people, but never quite reached the top.
Both died trying to get there. Ambition an English nobleman

(07:51):
in the family recreation Paris, London and Switzerland address see
recreation hubs all with the exception of the ones they wanted.

Speaker 3 (08:04):
Call King a merry old monarch of the Kingdom of Childhood,
great smoker, and was fond of the ball recreation fiddlers.

Speaker 1 (08:14):
Coleman, a man whose invention has caused tears and throat burnings.

Speaker 2 (08:19):
Columbus Christopher Mappin larger skipper, said to have been born
in Genoa. Something made him believe the world was round.
He endeavored to secure money to prove his theory, but
nobody cared whether he was correct or not. Realizing there
was no capital or profit in his own country, he

(08:39):
took passage to Spain. There he inveigled Isabella into equipping
an expedition for him to discover America. She did, and
heeded Ambition to keep New York City in the family,
recreation deck, shuffle boards, dreaming address, Salvatore clubs, palace.

Speaker 3 (09:03):
Yachts company, tch a man and woman who invariably called
when we were taking a nap or dressing, charming conversationalists, recreation,
tea ambition, and invitation to dinner.

Speaker 1 (09:18):
Confucius, a Chinese preacher of note, lived some five hundred
years BC, and taught the Chinks the art of joss
making and how to do things backward. He was also
the founder of ancestor worship. This is still practiced in England,
but never in the United States or Australia. Recreation, fireworks, ambition,

(09:44):
a Chinese laundry in every city, epitaph, more majoram.

Speaker 2 (09:50):
Conqueror will the of Normandy wrote Hastings and ten sixty
six in all history books.

Speaker 3 (09:59):
Cook Ta h e Lord of the household, entered the
kitchen at a tender age, soon acquired considerable weight in
person and in the management of the house. When she departed,
there was weeping and wailing and waiting, diet usually large,
and everything of the best ambition. An American policeman or

(10:20):
Thomas Atkins recreations days off, address, the whole house.

Speaker 1 (10:26):
Cook Captain, a real explorer who discovered the Sandwich Islands
and who took the first Cook's tour around the world.

Speaker 2 (10:36):
Cook Doctor Frederick a an explorer who said he discovered
the North Pole, but nobody believed him.

Speaker 3 (10:44):
Sea Pierry Cook, Tom celebrated ticket seller, author of captivating
travel literature, and a tour arranger who guarantees to save
you money. Owns and operates the Nile and Mount Vesuvius Publications,
the com owned book books. Ambition those Americans who want
to see everything. Also first timers address any foreign city

(11:08):
equipped with tourists.

Speaker 1 (11:10):
Cook first name not known, son of the above, who
helps his father save money for the tourist. He is
called Feasts in Paris.

Speaker 2 (11:22):
Copperfield Dave, one of Dickens's friends who assisted him in
building a reputation.

Speaker 3 (11:28):
Corbett James j. Known as Gentleman Jim, one time champion
fighter of the world, and it has been for whom
everybody has a good word. Many persons wish he might
be the Corbett he used to be. Ambition, a white champion.

Speaker 1 (11:44):
Corelli Marie, an old maid authoress who wrote delightful love scenes.
She is said to have written some books which brought
her fame and royalty. Corelli does not approve of society
except her own. She remains acted with her typewriter at
Mason Croft, Stratford On, even only being seen by her

(12:05):
publishers and the editor. Publications see bookstores and railway stations,
recreation flowers clubs all anti suffragette. Editor's note, The editor
hopes to remove this name before the next edition. Its
insertion is entirely due to the machinations of book reviewers

(12:29):
who claim Miss Corelli's books have fallen into the waz class.
The editor never contradicts a book reviewer.

Speaker 2 (12:38):
Coxey General leader of the only non militant mmy in
the world which did not take up collections or give
away Christmas Dinners.

Speaker 3 (12:48):
Critic Dramatic, a notorious prevaricator who tells the world to
see all the shows and thus preserves the advertising column
for his employers.

Speaker 1 (12:59):
Creases an ancient John D. Rockefeller who became wealthy without
trusts the Supreme Court or the stock market.

Speaker 2 (13:07):
Croaker Dickkex, King of New York City, Born in Ireland
of Irish parents. From childhood he practiced the art of politics,
which resulted in his gaining the friendship of the New
York Police Force. Croker was elected. Croker was very poor,
later retired with Native Land with two Atlantic liners filled

(13:28):
with salary. Ambition an Irish president, Recreation, English Derbies, address
Ireland Club's one point one million New York Democratic.

Speaker 3 (13:41):
Cromwell Oliver a militant Presbyterian who entered politics and went
about England tearing down churches. He also assisted in putting
King Charles one out of his pleasure, ran things in
England on a reform Cromwell basis, and after his death
was honored by having his round head placed as a
decoration of Westminster Hall.

Speaker 1 (14:01):
Crusoe Robinson f r g s traveler and autobiographer visited
a sparsely settled island in the Pacific Ocean, talked to parrots,
found some footprints, rescued Friday, and returned to England to
become an author.

Speaker 2 (14:18):
Cupid Daniel a cute, little fat fellow who called on
everyone at least once. Born shortly after Adam, and is
still up to mischievous tricks. It was he who met kings,
fall in love with poor country girls, chauffeurs with their ladies,
and beggars with princesses. Cupid held all men and women

(14:38):
equal provided they were good, and he met the happiest
people on earth when they listened to his voice. He
witnessed several international engagements, but did not like them, as
the contestants gave him a black eye. He was also
responsible for mothers in law. Some roads he made very rough,
but Cupid was always a good guide. A time he

(15:00):
caused pain, but he said it was never his fault.
When Cupid stayed in a house, the sun was always shining.
You should be at home when he calls ambition, that sigh, recreation,
archery address. Perhaps you know clubs. None. He prefers the
fireside and moonlit at knights.

Speaker 3 (15:23):
Curie Madam one of the few women who got her
name in print without being a suffragette or an actress.

Speaker 1 (15:29):
Tzar see Russia. End of section three.
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