Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:00):
Welcome y'all, and welcome back to All Things Family of
the podcast, where we dive into real life joys and
challenges of family life, from raising kids and navigating the
teenage years to keeping your marriage strong and heading the
ups and downs with in laws and extended family. While
we're covering it all, we'll share tips, stories, and a
(00:22):
little humor to help you connect, communicate, and create a
family life that feels good even when it gets a
little messy. Family isn't always easy, but it's always worth
it and we're here to figure it out together. Let's
jump in, so let's talk a little teenage communication. Teenagers,
like all humans, are masters of nonverbal communication, a silent
(00:46):
language often far more revealing than their spoken words. Misinterpreting
these nonverbal clues can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and the
dreaded feeling of being utterly clueless about what your teenager
is really thinking or feeling. Think about it. How often
have you had a conversation where the words said one thing,
(01:09):
but the tone of the voice, the body language, or
the facial expression spoke volumes more or something completely different.
For teenagers, this discrepancy is amplified the hormonal rollercoaster, the
intense pressure to fit in the struggle for independence. All
(01:30):
of this spine's expression and subtle shifts and posture, fleeting glances,
and carefully controlled vocal inflections. Learning to read these nonverbal
signals is crucial to effective communication. So let's start with
the infamous eye roll. I have a child that has
(01:51):
I think invented the eye roll. It's amazing. I think
she started when she was like three, and now she's
a master of it now that she's seventeen. To an adult,
it can feel like a blatant act of disrespect, a
passive aggressive way of saying I'm not listening, I don't
(02:13):
care what the heck you have to say. While that
interpretation might sometimes be accurate, it's really the whole story,
and I roll might signify boredom, frustration, disagreement, or even sarcasm,
depending on the context. The key is to look beyond
the immediate reaction instead of launching into a lecture. Asking gentle,
(02:38):
so you try asking general questions. Is something bothering you?
Can you tell me what's making you roll your eyes?
I mean, why the hell you rolling your eyes? I mean,
that's what I want to say. So you shouldn't do
what I just said, but you know so. This opens
a dialogue, allowing you to under understand the underlying emotion
(03:01):
driving the nonverbal cueue of the eye roll. Slumped posture
is another common nonverbal signal. It often indicates boredom, disengagement,
or even depression. A teenager slumped in a chair staring
blankly at their phone isn't necessarily define you. They might
be overwhelmed, stressed, or simply needing some space. Avoid the
(03:25):
temptation to interrupt or interpret the slumped posture as defiance. Instead,
use the approach. Approach the situation with empathy. Ask open
ended questions, how's your day, Ben? Is there anything that
you want to talk about? Do you need some time
(03:46):
to yourself? Sometimes a simple act of acknowledging their feelings
can make all the difference. Facial expressions are another powerful
tool in the teenage communication arsenal. A subtle fraw, a
fleeting smile, a clenched jaw all can reveal volumes about
the inner world, their inner world. Learning to recognize these
(04:10):
subtle changes can help you gauge their emotional state and
respond accordingly. If you notice your teenager's face clouding, over
during a conversation, she no, what mine does that sometimes?
And I'm fifty eight years old. Don't dismiss, Instead pause
(04:30):
and gently inquire, is there something wrong? Is this conversation
making you uncomfortable? Am I boring you to the point
of tears? Through that one in? Showing genuine concern and
willingness to listen goes a long way and building trust
and encouraging open communication. Tone of voice is equally important.
(04:53):
The same words can convey vastly different meanings depending on
how they're spoken. Sharp clipped tone suggest anger or frustration,
while the flat, monotone voice might indicate sadness, apathy, or
a little withdrawal. And I'm not talking withdrawal to alcohol.
(05:14):
Please pay close attention to the nuances in your teenager's voice.
If they respond to your question in a curt dismissive tone,
don't take it too personally. Instead trying to understand the
emotion behind it. You might ask your voice send them
to a little upset? Is there something I can help with?
This approach shows that you're not just hearing the words,
(05:37):
You're listening to the underlying emotions. So beyond these specific example,
there's a broader principle to play. Observe the pattern of
nonverbal cues. A single eye roll might be insignificant, but
repeated eye rolls, combined with slump posture and dimissive tone
suggests a more significant issue that needs to be addressed.
(05:58):
Pay attention to the context as well a teenager. A
teenager's behavior might be different at home versus with friends,
or before a big test versus during a relaxed weekend.
Understanding the context helps us interpret nonverbal cues accurately. Furthermore,
consider your own nonverbal communication. Teenagers are incredibly perceptive, often
(06:23):
picking up on subtle cues you might not even realize
you're sending. A harsh tone, a dismissive wave of the hand,
or a tense posture can shut down the communication before
even begins. Be mindful of your own body language and
strive for an open, approachable demeanor. Maintain eye contact, use
a calm and even tone of voice, and offer a
(06:46):
relaxed and receptive posture. It's worth remembering that teenagers are
still developing their emotional regulation skills. They might not always
be able to articulate their feelings effectively, resorting instead to
nonverbal communication. Understanding this developmental aspect is crucial to approaching
(07:09):
their behavior with patience and empathy, So avoid jumping to
conclusions or making assumptions. Instead, create a safe space where
they can feel comfortable expressing themselves, both verbally and nonverbally.
Learning to speak fluent teenager isn't just about understanding slang
and jargon. It's also about mastering the art of nonverbal communication.
(07:34):
By paying attention to the subtle cues, the eye rolls,
the slump postures, the changing tones of voice, you can
gain valuable insights into your teenager's inner world. This understanding
can lead to a more effective communication, stronger relationships, and
a deeper connection between parent and child. It's not about
(07:54):
becoming a mind reader, but about developing a heightened awareness
and sense to the nuances of teenage communication, a communication
that frequently speaks louder through silence than through the spoken words. Remember,
consistent observation, combined with empathetic questions, is far more effective
(08:17):
than judgment and assumption in deciphering the complex messages teenagers
convey nonverbally. This involves actively listening, not just hearing. This
means giving your full attention to making eye contact and
providing non verbal cues that show you're engaged, such as
nodding or leaning in. It also means creating a safe
(08:38):
space for your teenager to express themselves without fear of
judgment or criticism. Let them know that you're there to listen,
even if you don't always understand. Remember, consistent observation, combined
with empathetic questioning, is far more effective than judgment and
assumptions and deciphering the complex messages that teenagers convey, So
(09:03):
this empathetic approach often unlocks a flood of information that
a direct interrogation never could. I think that's pretty good advice.
We like that. Finally, consider your own nonverbal communication. Mirror
neurons in our brains help us unconsciously mimic the body
language of others, fostering empathy and connection. Try subtly mirroring
(09:28):
your teenager's posture or facial expressions without being overly obvious,
of course, because they can pick up on anything. So
to build a rapport and show that you're truly listening,
a calm, open posture on your part encourages your teenager
to do the same. Mastering the art of nonverbal communication
(09:49):
with teenagers isn't a quick fix. It's an ongoing process
of observation, learning, and empathy, but the rewards are significant,
stronger relationships, increase trust, and a deeper understanding of the
fascinating and often perplexing world of your teenager. It's a
journey of mutual understanding where both parent and teenager can
(10:11):
learn to communicate more effectively, bridging the gap between generations
through a shared language, both spoken and unspoken. The key
is not just to understand the words, but to truly
see them, to understand the silent story their bodies and
emotions are telling, and in doing so you can unlock
a deeper connection, strengthening the parent childbond and what in
(10:36):
words alone can never achieve. So next time we're going
to dive. We're staying on our series of teenagers, so
we're going to look at recognizing passive aggressive communication next time,
which is of course always interesting. You know, don't don't
(11:03):
don't be too hard on your teenager with an eye roll.
Try to be kind and understanding and see if you
can get to the to the cause of it, because
it may not be what you think, and it may
not be the disrespect that you think that it is.
So I'll be honest with you, I'm gonna try that
with my teenager and we're going to see what happens
(11:25):
with that. So I'll report back next time. In one
last little tidbit, if you guys are enjoying these podcasts
on family, I know we jump around a little bit
from different stories, but I think they're all nice and
they're all from the heart and there's things that we've
been through. But if you like them, would you share
them with some of your friends and maybe they could
come on board and listen to some with us. And
you know, we're always looking for feedback, so feel free
(11:47):
to shoot us an email let us know what you think.
We have thick skin. It's okay, we have families. We
got thick skin. Anyway, can't wait to talk to you
guys next week and we'll talk some more family. We
maybe do a little family Perseverance, which is a gut
wrencher for us. We had to take a week off
from that one. So anyway, y'all have a great day
(12:08):
and a great week, and we'll see you next time.
God bless
Welcome y'all, and welcome back to All Things Family of
the podcast, where we dive into real life joys and
challenges of family life, from raising kids and navigating the
teenage years to keeping your marriage strong and heading the
ups and downs with in laws and extended family. While
we're covering it all, we'll share tips, stories, and a
(00:22):
little humor to help you connect, communicate, and create a
family life that feels good even when it gets a
little messy. Family isn't always easy, but it's always worth
it and we're here to figure it out together. Let's
jump in, so let's talk a little teenage communication. Teenagers,
like all humans, are masters of nonverbal communication, a silent
(00:46):
language often far more revealing than their spoken words. Misinterpreting
these nonverbal clues can lead to misunderstandings, conflict, and the
dreaded feeling of being utterly clueless about what your teenager
is really thinking or feeling. Think about it. How often
have you had a conversation where the words said one thing,
(01:09):
but the tone of the voice, the body language, or
the facial expression spoke volumes more or something completely different.
For teenagers, this discrepancy is amplified the hormonal rollercoaster, the
intense pressure to fit in the struggle for independence. All
(01:30):
of this spine's expression and subtle shifts and posture, fleeting glances,
and carefully controlled vocal inflections. Learning to read these nonverbal
signals is crucial to effective communication. So let's start with
the infamous eye roll. I have a child that has
(01:51):
I think invented the eye roll. It's amazing. I think
she started when she was like three, and now she's
a master of it now that she's seventeen. To an adult,
it can feel like a blatant act of disrespect, a
passive aggressive way of saying I'm not listening, I don't
(02:13):
care what the heck you have to say. While that
interpretation might sometimes be accurate, it's really the whole story,
and I roll might signify boredom, frustration, disagreement, or even sarcasm,
depending on the context. The key is to look beyond
the immediate reaction instead of launching into a lecture. Asking gentle,
(02:38):
so you try asking general questions. Is something bothering you?
Can you tell me what's making you roll your eyes?
I mean, why the hell you rolling your eyes? I mean,
that's what I want to say. So you shouldn't do
what I just said, but you know so. This opens
a dialogue, allowing you to under understand the underlying emotion
(03:01):
driving the nonverbal cueue of the eye roll. Slumped posture
is another common nonverbal signal. It often indicates boredom, disengagement,
or even depression. A teenager slumped in a chair staring
blankly at their phone isn't necessarily define you. They might
be overwhelmed, stressed, or simply needing some space. Avoid the
(03:25):
temptation to interrupt or interpret the slumped posture as defiance. Instead,
use the approach. Approach the situation with empathy. Ask open
ended questions, how's your day, Ben? Is there anything that
you want to talk about? Do you need some time
(03:46):
to yourself? Sometimes a simple act of acknowledging their feelings
can make all the difference. Facial expressions are another powerful
tool in the teenage communication arsenal. A subtle fraw, a
fleeting smile, a clenched jaw all can reveal volumes about
the inner world, their inner world. Learning to recognize these
(04:10):
subtle changes can help you gauge their emotional state and
respond accordingly. If you notice your teenager's face clouding, over
during a conversation, she no, what mine does that sometimes?
And I'm fifty eight years old. Don't dismiss, Instead pause
(04:30):
and gently inquire, is there something wrong? Is this conversation
making you uncomfortable? Am I boring you to the point
of tears? Through that one in? Showing genuine concern and
willingness to listen goes a long way and building trust
and encouraging open communication. Tone of voice is equally important.
(04:53):
The same words can convey vastly different meanings depending on
how they're spoken. Sharp clipped tone suggest anger or frustration,
while the flat, monotone voice might indicate sadness, apathy, or
a little withdrawal. And I'm not talking withdrawal to alcohol.
(05:14):
Please pay close attention to the nuances in your teenager's voice.
If they respond to your question in a curt dismissive tone,
don't take it too personally. Instead trying to understand the
emotion behind it. You might ask your voice send them
to a little upset? Is there something I can help with?
This approach shows that you're not just hearing the words,
(05:37):
You're listening to the underlying emotions. So beyond these specific example,
there's a broader principle to play. Observe the pattern of
nonverbal cues. A single eye roll might be insignificant, but
repeated eye rolls, combined with slump posture and dimissive tone
suggests a more significant issue that needs to be addressed.
(05:58):
Pay attention to the context as well a teenager. A
teenager's behavior might be different at home versus with friends,
or before a big test versus during a relaxed weekend.
Understanding the context helps us interpret nonverbal cues accurately. Furthermore,
consider your own nonverbal communication. Teenagers are incredibly perceptive, often
(06:23):
picking up on subtle cues you might not even realize
you're sending. A harsh tone, a dismissive wave of the hand,
or a tense posture can shut down the communication before
even begins. Be mindful of your own body language and
strive for an open, approachable demeanor. Maintain eye contact, use
a calm and even tone of voice, and offer a
(06:46):
relaxed and receptive posture. It's worth remembering that teenagers are
still developing their emotional regulation skills. They might not always
be able to articulate their feelings effectively, resorting instead to
nonverbal communication. Understanding this developmental aspect is crucial to approaching
(07:09):
their behavior with patience and empathy, So avoid jumping to
conclusions or making assumptions. Instead, create a safe space where
they can feel comfortable expressing themselves, both verbally and nonverbally.
Learning to speak fluent teenager isn't just about understanding slang
and jargon. It's also about mastering the art of nonverbal communication.
(07:34):
By paying attention to the subtle cues, the eye rolls,
the slump postures, the changing tones of voice, you can
gain valuable insights into your teenager's inner world. This understanding
can lead to a more effective communication, stronger relationships, and
a deeper connection between parent and child. It's not about
(07:54):
becoming a mind reader, but about developing a heightened awareness
and sense to the nuances of teenage communication, a communication
that frequently speaks louder through silence than through the spoken words. Remember,
consistent observation, combined with empathetic questions, is far more effective
(08:17):
than judgment and assumption in deciphering the complex messages teenagers
convey nonverbally. This involves actively listening, not just hearing. This
means giving your full attention to making eye contact and
providing non verbal cues that show you're engaged, such as
nodding or leaning in. It also means creating a safe
(08:38):
space for your teenager to express themselves without fear of
judgment or criticism. Let them know that you're there to listen,
even if you don't always understand. Remember, consistent observation, combined
with empathetic questioning, is far more effective than judgment and
assumptions and deciphering the complex messages that teenagers convey, So
(09:03):
this empathetic approach often unlocks a flood of information that
a direct interrogation never could. I think that's pretty good advice.
We like that. Finally, consider your own nonverbal communication. Mirror
neurons in our brains help us unconsciously mimic the body
language of others, fostering empathy and connection. Try subtly mirroring
(09:28):
your teenager's posture or facial expressions without being overly obvious,
of course, because they can pick up on anything. So
to build a rapport and show that you're truly listening,
a calm, open posture on your part encourages your teenager
to do the same. Mastering the art of nonverbal communication
(09:49):
with teenagers isn't a quick fix. It's an ongoing process
of observation, learning, and empathy, but the rewards are significant,
stronger relationships, increase trust, and a deeper understanding of the
fascinating and often perplexing world of your teenager. It's a
journey of mutual understanding where both parent and teenager can
(10:11):
learn to communicate more effectively, bridging the gap between generations
through a shared language, both spoken and unspoken. The key
is not just to understand the words, but to truly
see them, to understand the silent story their bodies and
emotions are telling, and in doing so you can unlock
a deeper connection, strengthening the parent childbond and what in
(10:36):
words alone can never achieve. So next time we're going
to dive. We're staying on our series of teenagers, so
we're going to look at recognizing passive aggressive communication next time,
which is of course always interesting. You know, don't don't
(11:03):
don't be too hard on your teenager with an eye roll.
Try to be kind and understanding and see if you
can get to the to the cause of it, because
it may not be what you think, and it may
not be the disrespect that you think that it is.
So I'll be honest with you, I'm gonna try that
with my teenager and we're going to see what happens
(11:25):
with that. So I'll report back next time. In one
last little tidbit, if you guys are enjoying these podcasts
on family, I know we jump around a little bit
from different stories, but I think they're all nice and
they're all from the heart and there's things that we've
been through. But if you like them, would you share
them with some of your friends and maybe they could
come on board and listen to some with us. And
you know, we're always looking for feedback, so feel free
(11:47):
to shoot us an email let us know what you think.
We have thick skin. It's okay, we have families. We
got thick skin. Anyway, can't wait to talk to you
guys next week and we'll talk some more family. We
maybe do a little family Perseverance, which is a gut
wrencher for us. We had to take a week off
from that one. So anyway, y'all have a great day
(12:08):
and a great week, and we'll see you next time.
God bless
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