May 29, 2025 • 12 mins
Aubrey Marcus just tried to re-label polyamory as “radical monogamy”… and the spiritual internet ERUPTED.
In this reaction I unpack why the re-brand feels so gross to so many people and what it reveals about power, influence, and spiritual narcissism.
If you loved or hated this video drop a thoughtful comment—unlike the AM podcast, the chat is wide open.
#aubreymarcus #reaction #polyamory #spirituality #spiritualbypassing
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Timestamps:
00:17 Spiritual Marketing Gone Wrong
02:07 Who Told Him This Was A Good Idea?!
05:09 Power Dynamics in Relationships
07:41 Navigating Relationship Dynamics
09:36 Personal Growth Through Challenges
11:45 Conclusion and Call for Feedback
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Hey, I’m Ian Vogel—host of Alternate Timelines. My journey started on a small farm in the midwest, where I always felt a little out of place. After years of skepticism and even a stint as an atheist, a near-death experience changed my perspective on everything. Since then, I’ve explored plant medicine, past life memories, and the mysteries of consciousness. Now, I’m sharing those experiences to help others navigate their own awakening. Through real stories, deep conversations, and wild explorations of the unknown, we’re building a community where it’s okay to question reality. You’re not alone in the unknown. 👽✨
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Aubrey Marcus has managed to setthe online spiritual community
on fire with the release of hisrecent podcast.
Now, this is an incredibly deepand nuanced topic, and I believe
that there are still a couple ofaspects and angles that people
haven't really looked at inregards to this whole situation.
My initial surface levelperception of this whole fiasco
(00:21):
is that this is a marketingscheme gone wrong.
Now, Aubrey Marcus is anincredible business person.
As an entrepreneur, as asalesperson, and as a marketer.
He's done really well forhimself.
It really feels like he's tryingto rebrand polyamory as this new
thing that it's just not, whatis it?
(00:41):
Radical monogamy is not a thing.
It just doesn't exist.
It really feels like he's tryingto sell us Coke Zero and tell us
that it's much better for usthan regular Coca-Cola because
it doesn't have sugar in it,which is absolutely not the
case.
I think a lot of people whofollow him and who are watching
the situation almost feeloffended, it's like, this is
(01:02):
blatant.
You can't just do this.
This isn't a real thing.
We're not gonna buy thisproduct.
And again, like this to me feelslike a marketing flop, like a
complete marketing disaster.
It's almost as if he's trying toapply something he learned in
his business acumen to thespiritual space, and it's just
not connecting.
(01:22):
When it comes to polyamory andhaving open relationships and
multiple lovers, it's all good.
Do your thing.
Let your freak flag fly.
As long as everybody in thissituation is a consenting adult,
go for it.
And don't try to dress it up inspiritual jargon and word salad
(01:42):
to make it seem like it'ssomething it's not.
Just own what you're doing andlet that be it.
Going back to the frame ofmarketing, nobody is buying this
product called radical monogamy.
Where did that even come from?
It sounds like he's gettingadvice from one of the teenage
mutant Ninja Turtles on how tomarket this thing.
(02:03):
It just feels weird and prettymuch everybody has seen through
it.
Now there's a really interestingquestion that I haven't heard
anyone ask, and that is.
Is there nobody around him thatis giving him objective
feedback?
It's like, how does he get tothe point where he puts out this
podcast very confidently saying,oh, we invented this new thing,
this is an evolution of therelationship and love without
(02:27):
somebody telling him like, thisjust isn't it, this isn't real,
what you're saying.
This is just a differentiteration of a situation that
we've seen play out over andover again.
When people in the spiritualcommunity, often men get to the
position of having influence andnotoriety, people start to flock
to them.
(02:48):
People are attracted to thatstatus and eventually they
surround themselves with yespeople, and they stop receiving
objective feedback from thosearound them.
Their inner circle becomesfilled with yes men and yes
women.
There are many well-documentedinstances of people who find
themselves in this situation,often men, and it does not turn
(03:12):
out well.
This is not a new thing thatwe're observing.
I believe that the intenseresponse that this podcast has
elicited in many people is atestament to the fact that we're
moving into a new energy.
What Aubrey is doing is amanifestation of an old
paradigm, a top down,hierarchical, masculine driven,
(03:34):
patriarchical approach tospirituality.
Now that shows up in our bankingsystem, that shows up in our
governmental system.
Now it that sort of energy isnot solely manifest in the
spiritual community.
We're seeing it in all areas ofour society and the planet is
(03:55):
moving into a new phase.
A new consciousness is emergingin humanity and on planet Earth,
and this new energy just is notgoing to tolerate this sort of
behavior and this sort ofspiritual narcissism and ego
dressed up as spiritual pursuitanymore.
(04:15):
Like that's, it's done.
This is an example of peoplerecognizing that old pattern and
saying, no, I'm done with this.
I'm not gonna participate andI'm not gonna stay quiet about
it.
I can speak up about this andnot only can I speak up about
this.
I should speak up about this.
This is something that I'mobserving that doesn't jive with
reality and is not moving us inthe direction of a more open and
(04:39):
honest and inclusive society.
In watching the responses tothis podcast, there was
something that came up over andover and over again that I felt
like a lot of people were justmissing the mark with, and I
would love to hear yourperspective.
This is an open conversation.
Unlike the Aubrey Marcuspodcast, I'm not gonna shut down
the comment section to this, soplease leave feedback and I'd
(05:02):
love to hear other people'sperspective on the idea of the
power dynamic of thisrelationship.
in the majority of the responsesthat I watched.
People continuously brought upand pointed out the fact that
there is a power dynamic in therelationship between Aubrey
Marcus and the two women thathe's associated with And that
kinda struck me as odd after Isat with it for a while in the
(05:25):
context of their relationship,which is what this podcast is
about.
How does he have any specificsort of power over them?
From what I understand and whatI observed, everybody has
entered into this relationshipconsenting, they're all adults.
I think Alana is 29 years oldand she's the youngest, so
(05:46):
everybody in this situation isthere because of their own free
will.
They're choosing to be there.
So how exactly i s the fact thatAubrey Marcus, yes, he does have
influence, he does have plentyof money.
He does have status in society,how exactly is he using that
power to force either or any ofthese women to stay in that
(06:08):
situation?
From my perspective, they couldleave whenever they wanted.
They're not prisoners to thiswhole fiasco.
They could walk out the door andbe gone the next day if they
wanted to.
The problem that I have with thepower dynamic conversation in
regards to this contextspecifically.
(06:28):
Is that it almost presupposesthat the women are in a
disadvantageous situation orthat they are inherently
disempowered just because Aubreyhas influence.
I'm certainly not saying that apower dynamic doesn't exist, or
that there are power dynamics inrelationships that aren't
potentially harmful insituations.
(06:50):
But in this situation,everybody's consenting, nobody's
being held here against theirwill, and the women that are
with Aubrey know full well thathe's a public figure and that
these sort of things are likelygonna end up on a podcast.
This isn't the first time, andI'm sure it won't be the last
time the conversation ofpolyamory is had on the Aubrey
Marcus podcast.
(07:11):
I saw quite a few responseswhere people seem to put a lot
of emphasis on the powerdynamic.
Again, if the women are free toleave whenever they want.
What power does he have overthem?
Yeah.
There are relationship dynamics,but the words that we use are
important.
They mean something and callinga relationship dynamic a power
(07:31):
dynamic gives it a certainovertone.
It almost makes it feel likesomething sinister or something
that we need to be aware of orlook out for.
Every relationship in our liveshas some sort of dynamic.
You could call it a powerdynamic, but it's something we
all have to deal with.
Parents and children have acertain dynamic.
(07:53):
Is that a power dynamic?
People in relationships,committed relationships.
Even when you go into arestaurant, there is a
relationship dynamic between theperson sitting at the booth and
the server.
Those aren't inherently bad.
This is a part of life.
This is a part of being a human,is learning how to navigate
(08:13):
these different interpersonalsorts of communications and
situations we find ourselves in.
There are some really importantlessons that we have to learn in
our life, and we can only learnthose through different
relationship dynamics.
So framing a power dynamic assomething that's inherently
problematic.
(08:33):
I don't think that that's the,the appropriate way to look at
this.
I just don't see that we allhave to learn where our
boundaries are and you, younever really know what you're
not comfortable with until youexperience somebody stepping
beyond your boundary or youexperience a relationship
dynamic that you're notcomfortable with.
That's how we learn and grow andtrying to present this as like,
(08:59):
this is something that Aubrey isimposing or he is being
manipulative.
Who knows, like maybe he is and,and I think clearly based on the
fact that he's trying to presentthis as something that's not the
polyamory, there's an aspect ofsubtle manipulation or overt
manipulation in that yes.
(09:20):
And we all need to learn how todeal with manipulative people,
and we can't do it by watchingYouTube videos or getting advice
from somebody who is in arelationship with a narcissist.
These are situations that wehave to learn from in our own
lives.
When I look back at my own life,I see situations where I was in
some challenging relationshipdynamics with people.
(09:43):
You might even call it a powerdynamic where I was in the
position where I didn't have asmuch power as somebody else.
And I learned a lot from thosesituations and looking back on
it, I'm grateful for thosepeople who were manipulative or
gaslighting or narcissistic orwhatever they were doing because
without those experiences, Iwouldn't be where I am now.
(10:04):
I wouldn't be who I am today.
I wouldn't have the perspectivethat I have on the world, and I
wouldn't be able to navigate mycurrent relationships the way
that I can.
Now, I'm not saying this tocondone bad behavior or
manipulation or gaslighting oranything like that.
I'm simply pointing out the factthat there's a lot that can be
potentially gained from being inthese sorts of relationship
(10:27):
dynamics.
Yes, it's gonna be somethingthat's challenging to work
through in the moment, and ifone of my good friends was in a
situation like that that wasdisplayed in that podcast, I
would probably have a sit downwith them and just wanna see
where they were at and wheretheir heads were at.
And it's totally up to them.
I'm never going to assume thatthey're being victimized by a
(10:50):
situation, I guess for me.
That's just not part of mybelief system.
I believe that every situationin our lives is presented to us
by God to help improve us andhelp us learn and help us be
better versions of ourself.
And that isn't always gonna looklike a fun loving Instagram,
(11:11):
like what you see on Instagramas far as relationships that's
gonna require challenges andpain, and figuring out where
your boundaries are.
And you can't figure out whereyour boundaries are and when
it's time to leave until yourboundaries are crossed and you
really sit with yourself andsay, what do I value?
So there's a lot of potentialthings and experience and
(11:32):
knowledge that can be gainedfrom the kind of a relationship
dynamic that those guys are in.
And you know, they had so muchas admit it and talk about that
in the podcast, like this is acatalyst for their growth.
And I am really grateful forAubrey and Valana and Alana for
having this conversation andplaying this part, being the
(11:53):
catalyst for this bigger,larger, and broader conversation
about relationship and truth andreality.
This has been really eyeopeningand I've heard so many deep and
really impactful conversationscome out of this.
So I always try to look atthings from a positive
(12:13):
perspective.
I.
I believe that everybody who'sinvolved with this situation is
going to learn something reallyprofound from it.
I know I have, and if you'rewatching this, you probably have
as well.
Please leave a comment below.
I'd love to hear people'sreaction to this and your
thoughts on the situation as awhole.
Aubrey Marcus has managed to setthe online spiritual community
on fire with the release of hisrecent podcast.
Now, this is an incredibly deepand nuanced topic, and I believe
that there are still a couple ofaspects and angles that people
haven't really looked at inregards to this whole situation.
My initial surface levelperception of this whole fiasco
(00:21):
is that this is a marketingscheme gone wrong.
Now, Aubrey Marcus is anincredible business person.
As an entrepreneur, as asalesperson, and as a marketer.
He's done really well forhimself.
It really feels like he's tryingto rebrand polyamory as this new
thing that it's just not, whatis it?
(00:41):
Radical monogamy is not a thing.
It just doesn't exist.
It really feels like he's tryingto sell us Coke Zero and tell us
that it's much better for usthan regular Coca-Cola because
it doesn't have sugar in it,which is absolutely not the
case.
I think a lot of people whofollow him and who are watching
the situation almost feeloffended, it's like, this is
(01:02):
blatant.
You can't just do this.
This isn't a real thing.
We're not gonna buy thisproduct.
And again, like this to me feelslike a marketing flop, like a
complete marketing disaster.
It's almost as if he's trying toapply something he learned in
his business acumen to thespiritual space, and it's just
not connecting.
(01:22):
When it comes to polyamory andhaving open relationships and
multiple lovers, it's all good.
Do your thing.
Let your freak flag fly.
As long as everybody in thissituation is a consenting adult,
go for it.
And don't try to dress it up inspiritual jargon and word salad
(01:42):
to make it seem like it'ssomething it's not.
Just own what you're doing andlet that be it.
Going back to the frame ofmarketing, nobody is buying this
product called radical monogamy.
Where did that even come from?
It sounds like he's gettingadvice from one of the teenage
mutant Ninja Turtles on how tomarket this thing.
(02:03):
It just feels weird and prettymuch everybody has seen through
it.
Now there's a really interestingquestion that I haven't heard
anyone ask, and that is.
Is there nobody around him thatis giving him objective
feedback?
It's like, how does he get tothe point where he puts out this
podcast very confidently saying,oh, we invented this new thing,
this is an evolution of therelationship and love without
(02:27):
somebody telling him like, thisjust isn't it, this isn't real,
what you're saying.
This is just a differentiteration of a situation that
we've seen play out over andover again.
When people in the spiritualcommunity, often men get to the
position of having influence andnotoriety, people start to flock
to them.
(02:48):
People are attracted to thatstatus and eventually they
surround themselves with yespeople, and they stop receiving
objective feedback from thosearound them.
Their inner circle becomesfilled with yes men and yes
women.
There are many well-documentedinstances of people who find
themselves in this situation,often men, and it does not turn
(03:12):
out well.
This is not a new thing thatwe're observing.
I believe that the intenseresponse that this podcast has
elicited in many people is atestament to the fact that we're
moving into a new energy.
What Aubrey is doing is amanifestation of an old
paradigm, a top down,hierarchical, masculine driven,
(03:34):
patriarchical approach tospirituality.
Now that shows up in our bankingsystem, that shows up in our
governmental system.
Now it that sort of energy isnot solely manifest in the
spiritual community.
We're seeing it in all areas ofour society and the planet is
(03:55):
moving into a new phase.
A new consciousness is emergingin humanity and on planet Earth,
and this new energy just is notgoing to tolerate this sort of
behavior and this sort ofspiritual narcissism and ego
dressed up as spiritual pursuitanymore.
(04:15):
Like that's, it's done.
This is an example of peoplerecognizing that old pattern and
saying, no, I'm done with this.
I'm not gonna participate andI'm not gonna stay quiet about
it.
I can speak up about this andnot only can I speak up about
this.
I should speak up about this.
This is something that I'mobserving that doesn't jive with
reality and is not moving us inthe direction of a more open and
(04:39):
honest and inclusive society.
In watching the responses tothis podcast, there was
something that came up over andover and over again that I felt
like a lot of people were justmissing the mark with, and I
would love to hear yourperspective.
This is an open conversation.
Unlike the Aubrey Marcuspodcast, I'm not gonna shut down
the comment section to this, soplease leave feedback and I'd
(05:02):
love to hear other people'sperspective on the idea of the
power dynamic of thisrelationship.
in the majority of the responsesthat I watched.
People continuously brought upand pointed out the fact that
there is a power dynamic in therelationship between Aubrey
Marcus and the two women thathe's associated with And that
kinda struck me as odd after Isat with it for a while in the
(05:25):
context of their relationship,which is what this podcast is
about.
How does he have any specificsort of power over them?
From what I understand and whatI observed, everybody has
entered into this relationshipconsenting, they're all adults.
I think Alana is 29 years oldand she's the youngest, so
(05:46):
everybody in this situation isthere because of their own free
will.
They're choosing to be there.
So how exactly i s the fact thatAubrey Marcus, yes, he does have
influence, he does have plentyof money.
He does have status in society,how exactly is he using that
power to force either or any ofthese women to stay in that
(06:08):
situation?
From my perspective, they couldleave whenever they wanted.
They're not prisoners to thiswhole fiasco.
They could walk out the door andbe gone the next day if they
wanted to.
The problem that I have with thepower dynamic conversation in
regards to this contextspecifically.
(06:28):
Is that it almost presupposesthat the women are in a
disadvantageous situation orthat they are inherently
disempowered just because Aubreyhas influence.
I'm certainly not saying that apower dynamic doesn't exist, or
that there are power dynamics inrelationships that aren't
potentially harmful insituations.
(06:50):
But in this situation,everybody's consenting, nobody's
being held here against theirwill, and the women that are
with Aubrey know full well thathe's a public figure and that
these sort of things are likelygonna end up on a podcast.
This isn't the first time, andI'm sure it won't be the last
time the conversation ofpolyamory is had on the Aubrey
Marcus podcast.
(07:11):
I saw quite a few responseswhere people seem to put a lot
of emphasis on the powerdynamic.
Again, if the women are free toleave whenever they want.
What power does he have overthem?
Yeah.
There are relationship dynamics,but the words that we use are
important.
They mean something and callinga relationship dynamic a power
(07:31):
dynamic gives it a certainovertone.
It almost makes it feel likesomething sinister or something
that we need to be aware of orlook out for.
Every relationship in our liveshas some sort of dynamic.
You could call it a powerdynamic, but it's something we
all have to deal with.
Parents and children have acertain dynamic.
(07:53):
Is that a power dynamic?
People in relationships,committed relationships.
Even when you go into arestaurant, there is a
relationship dynamic between theperson sitting at the booth and
the server.
Those aren't inherently bad.
This is a part of life.
This is a part of being a human,is learning how to navigate
(08:13):
these different interpersonalsorts of communications and
situations we find ourselves in.
There are some really importantlessons that we have to learn in
our life, and we can only learnthose through different
relationship dynamics.
So framing a power dynamic assomething that's inherently
problematic.
(08:33):
I don't think that that's the,the appropriate way to look at
this.
I just don't see that we allhave to learn where our
boundaries are and you, younever really know what you're
not comfortable with until youexperience somebody stepping
beyond your boundary or youexperience a relationship
dynamic that you're notcomfortable with.
That's how we learn and grow andtrying to present this as like,
(08:59):
this is something that Aubrey isimposing or he is being
manipulative.
Who knows, like maybe he is and,and I think clearly based on the
fact that he's trying to presentthis as something that's not the
polyamory, there's an aspect ofsubtle manipulation or overt
manipulation in that yes.
(09:20):
And we all need to learn how todeal with manipulative people,
and we can't do it by watchingYouTube videos or getting advice
from somebody who is in arelationship with a narcissist.
These are situations that wehave to learn from in our own
lives.
When I look back at my own life,I see situations where I was in
some challenging relationshipdynamics with people.
(09:43):
You might even call it a powerdynamic where I was in the
position where I didn't have asmuch power as somebody else.
And I learned a lot from thosesituations and looking back on
it, I'm grateful for thosepeople who were manipulative or
gaslighting or narcissistic orwhatever they were doing because
without those experiences, Iwouldn't be where I am now.
(10:04):
I wouldn't be who I am today.
I wouldn't have the perspectivethat I have on the world, and I
wouldn't be able to navigate mycurrent relationships the way
that I can.
Now, I'm not saying this tocondone bad behavior or
manipulation or gaslighting oranything like that.
I'm simply pointing out the factthat there's a lot that can be
potentially gained from being inthese sorts of relationship
(10:27):
dynamics.
Yes, it's gonna be somethingthat's challenging to work
through in the moment, and ifone of my good friends was in a
situation like that that wasdisplayed in that podcast, I
would probably have a sit downwith them and just wanna see
where they were at and wheretheir heads were at.
And it's totally up to them.
I'm never going to assume thatthey're being victimized by a
(10:50):
situation, I guess for me.
That's just not part of mybelief system.
I believe that every situationin our lives is presented to us
by God to help improve us andhelp us learn and help us be
better versions of ourself.
And that isn't always gonna looklike a fun loving Instagram,
(11:11):
like what you see on Instagramas far as relationships that's
gonna require challenges andpain, and figuring out where
your boundaries are.
And you can't figure out whereyour boundaries are and when
it's time to leave until yourboundaries are crossed and you
really sit with yourself andsay, what do I value?
So there's a lot of potentialthings and experience and
(11:32):
knowledge that can be gainedfrom the kind of a relationship
dynamic that those guys are in.
And you know, they had so muchas admit it and talk about that
in the podcast, like this is acatalyst for their growth.
And I am really grateful forAubrey and Valana and Alana for
having this conversation andplaying this part, being the
(11:53):
catalyst for this bigger,larger, and broader conversation
about relationship and truth andreality.
This has been really eyeopeningand I've heard so many deep and
really impactful conversationscome out of this.
So I always try to look atthings from a positive
(12:13):
perspective.
I.
I believe that everybody who'sinvolved with this situation is
going to learn something reallyprofound from it.
I know I have, and if you'rewatching this, you probably have
as well.
Please leave a comment below.
I'd love to hear people'sreaction to this and your
thoughts on the situation as awhole.
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