Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma

What happens when what you learned about relationships doesn’t help you create the kind of connection you long for—and you’re left wondering: how do I do this differently? Ask Angela is a relationship advice column devoted to answering the questions that arise when you're navigating intimacy after trauma. Hosted by Angela Amias—therapist, writer, and founder of the Institute for Trauma-Informed Relationships—Ask Angela offers honest guidance with deep respect for where you’ve been. Each episode is based on a listener’s letter—raw, true, and deeply human. Angela’s advice weaves together the practical and the poetic, grounded in years of experience helping individuals and couples heal the patterns that keep them stuck. If you’ve ever felt like you’re too much or not enough—or you just can’t figure out why relationships feel so hard—this podcast is for you. Whether the question is about betrayal and trust, communication, emotional connection, or healing after heartbreak, Ask Angela is a space for learning how to untangle the past and build something new. Because love after trauma takes a different kind of wisdom—and you don’t have to figure it out alone.

Episodes

April 27, 2025 13 mins

Is it possible to heal old wounds and build a stronger relationship—even if both you and your partner have past trauma? What happens when one person is ready to grow, and the other is unsure?

In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener wondering whether it's possible for a struggling marriage to heal when both partners bring communication struggles and unhealed traum...

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What do you do when you want to grow closer—and your partner keeps putting you off? Can you improve your relationship when your partner isn’t willing to work on communication?

In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who feels stuck: she keeps trying to have real conversations with her partner, but he avoids every attempt, leaving her feeling unheard, frustrated, ...

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Why is it so hard to stay open when your partner brings up something that’s bothering them? Why do even small criticisms feel like attacks—and how do you change that pattern?

In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wants to learn how to stay present and listen when her partner shares concerns, instead of falling into automatic defensiveness.

Angela explores:

...
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    How do you grieve a relationship that wasn’t all bad—but wasn’t good for you either? How do you heal when your heart is broken not just by loss, but by the way you were treated?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who asks how to release the grief and hurt of being treated badly by someone she deeply cared for.

    Angela explores:

    • Why breakups after hurtful...
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    How do you stop sabotaging relationships when your trust issues keep getting in the way? Can you really learn to trust again after betrayal—or are you doomed to repeat the same painful patterns?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who is struggling with deep trust issues that continue to harm his relationships, even when he knows his fears aren’t based in rea...

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    How do you begin to love yourself when you were never properly nurtured? What does healing look like when you feel like you don’t even know who you are?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener struggling with complex trauma from childhood—and the painful realization that self-love feels almost impossible.

    Angela explores:

    • Why missing early nurturing makes it...
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    Why do people suddenly disappear after a deep connection—or after a conflict? Is it about you, or about their own fears?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who asks why men often ghost after intimacy or when tensions arise.

    Angela explores:

    • Why ghosting is often a fear-based response to vulnerability, not a personal rejection
    • How trauma histories can ma...
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    How do you trust again—especially yourself—after betrayal by someone you loved? How do you move forward when the person you thought you knew becomes someone you don't even recognize?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who is struggling to heal after discovering years of infidelity and emotional abuse in her long-term relationship.

    Angela explores:

    • Why r...
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    Is it possible to heal your heart while you're still stuck in a toxic relationship? Or do you have to get out before true healing can even begin?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who feels trapped—yearning to heal while still living with a partner who has caused deep emotional pain.

    Angela explores:

    • Why survival mode and healing mode cannot happen at ...
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    What can you do when your relationship feels like it’s slipping away—and you're just now realizing how much was broken? Can love be rebuilt after separation?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who is heartbroken over the possibility of losing his marriage. Now aware of communication issues he didn't fully understand before, he's asking how to become a better...

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    What happens when the people you love don’t get along—and you're stuck in the middle? How do you honor your partner's feelings without betraying your family, or yourself?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who feels torn between his wife and his family during stressful holiday visits. His wife struggles with feeling disrespected by his mother and sister, but...

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    Why is it so hard to move on from a toxic relationship, even when you know leaving was the right thing to do? And why does it feel like the person you left is still living rent-free in your mind?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who is struggling to move forward after an 11-year relationship with a vulnerable narcissist—even nine months after the breakup.

    ...

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    What makes a relationship truly healthy—and how do you recognize when it’s not? Is it about working harder, lowering your expectations, or something deeper?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wonders how to stop attracting unhealthy partners and build real connection.

    Angela explores:

    • Why you can’t “work harder” to make an unhealthy relationship hea...
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    Can you have a healthy relationship while still healing from trauma? What does healing actually look like when you’re trying to build something real and lasting with someone else?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who wonders if it's possible to move forward in love after surviving an abusive relationship.

    Angela explores:

    • Why trauma doesn’t just "disa...
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    What if a healthy relationship feels...boring? And what if that feeling is more about healing than about settling?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who worries that leaving behind the high-intensity rollercoaster of toxic relationships will mean giving up excitement and passion.

    Angela explores:

    • Why toxic relationships feel thrilling—and why healthy o...
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    Episode Title:
    Doing what brings me joy makes my partner uncomfortable

    Description:
    What do you do when your partner doesn't approve of something you lov...

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    Episode Title: How do I say I’m not ready to live together?

    Description: What do you do when your partner is ready to move in together—and you're not? How do you communicate your needs without causing harm, and what role does past trauma play in shaping your readiness for deeper commitment?

    In this episode of Ask Angela: Relationship Advice for Love After Trauma, Angela Amias responds to a listener who feels pressured to move in wi...

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