E45: I Cannot Not Do This (ft. Dave Roncolato) - Real Men, Real Conversations

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This week’s episode of Aspire features a deeply reflective conversation with retired Allegheny College professor and longtime Bonner Program mentor Dr. Dave Roncolato. He joins host Alex Prout and student host Gabriel Viscogliosi to explore what it truly means to grow into a whole, authentic man in a culture that often narrows masculinity to roles like “warrior,” “athlete,” or “breadwinner.” Drawing on his upbringing, campus ministry, and decades of work with Bonner service scholars, Dave shares how following his inner voice, even when it meant defying expectations, led him to a life rooted in meaningful relationships.

Dave discusses how sports and militarized ideals can teach boys to disconnect from their bodies and emotions, and why unlearning that conditioning is essential for building healthier expressions of masculinity. He reflects on teaching himself to cry as an adult, helping his father sit with his mother’s grief at the end of her life, and how pain and vulnerability can become sources of empathy and healing.

The episode also explores the idea of discovering the work you “cannot not do.” Dave and Alex challenge listeners to know their deepest self so they can build authentic relationships that sustain commitment and inspire change.