August 19, 2025 • 42 mins
What if your advocacy work could become the book that shifts the conversation?
Allison talks with Meg Stone about transforming advocacy into authorship that drives real change. Meg shares how she turned decades of violence prevention work into a book that calls out false safety advice and redefines empowerment.
If you’ve ever wondered how to turn your mission into a message that moves readers and gets publishers to pay attention, this is your roadmap.
In this episode, Allison and Meg discuss:
- 04:20 — Why Meg’s first book pitch failed - and why that mattered
- 12:30 — The surprising power of advocacy-based self-defense
- 21:00 — How her agent helped her find the right book to write
- 29:50 — The myth of “playing it safe” and how it limits women
- 44:10 — Meg’s daily visibility habit that actually works
Meg Stone is Executive Director of IMPACT Boston and the debut author of The Cost of Fear: Why Most Safety Advice Is Sexist and How We Can Stop Gender-Based Violence.
Resources Mentioned:
- Meg Stone org: megstone.org
- Impact Boston: impactboston.org
- Meg’s LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/meg-stone-5a24a970/
- Meg’s Book: https://bookshop.org/a/55773/9780807016220
- Publisher: Beacon Press: https://www.beacon.org/
- Book Reco: The Fall of Roe: The Rise of a New America: https://bookshop.org/a/55773/9781250881397
- Connect with the host: allison@lanelit.com
- Book a Call: https://calendly.com/allisonlanelit/chat-allison
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Meg (00:00):
One of the things I learned through all of the failures, all
of the wrong terms, all of thebooks that didn't work is that
there is a unique intersectionof what I want to say and what
people need to hear that I couldnot find until the cost of fear.
Allison (00:55):
Welcome back to the Author's Edge.
I am your host, Allison Lane,and I'm here for you because I
know how hard it is to writeyour book and then get your book
into the world and then tolaunch your book and continue
talking about what your bookwhile you're living your life.
Too often, experts who are doingtheir expertise for their living
(01:22):
wish that they had time to writetheir book or that they could
bottle all of their knowledgeinto a book.
And that is hard.
But today, we're talking to MegStone who has done this and is
bettering the universe for itbecause too often the safety
(01:43):
advice women get, keeps usplaying small.
The generally, safety advicekeeps everyone playing small.
Tells us to smile, stay quiet,stay home.
But Meg has been dedicated tochallenging that.
She is the executive director ofImpact Boston and has trained
(02:07):
thousands of people with realworld evidence-based safety and
abuse prevention.
And now, her debut book, which Iwill hold up because it's
awesome, The Cost of Fear, she'scalling out myths that pass for
safety advice and offeringsomething so much more valuable
(02:28):
and powerful in their place.
So, whether you're stepping intoyour role as an author or you're
trying to figure out how to getyour message out into the world
even before you think maybe Ishould write a book about it, or
you are raising people and in aworld that doesn't always feel
(02:51):
safe.
This conversation will shift howyou think about all of that with
confidence and courage and realprotection.
So, let's get into it.
Meg, thanks so much for beinghere.
I'm really happy that I got tosee you at a recent book event
(03:12):
because the discussion thathappens is so much more powerful
having read the book.
Thank you.
And your ability to help makeall of this advice and safety
precaution actually personal andpractical is what we need.
(03:36):
Let's start with this.
Can you talk through yourjourney to becoming an author
because this is your debut andit's not like you don't have a
full time job that is demanding.
Right?
Sure.
You've done what a lot of peoplewant to do.
Like you dumped your noggin,like all the knowledge into a
(04:00):
book that is helping.
Meg (04:02):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for that.
And I have done it.
It is not easy, but it isprobably one of the most
important things that I havedone in my life.
And I want everyone who isorganizing around immigrant
justice or social change in anyarea.
(04:24):
If you have a book in you, itcan be done.
So, that's my little, uhwhatever.
My brief moment as amotivational speaker, which will
now happen.
But for me, I first knew that Iwanted to write a book about 20
years ago.
I was in a writing class and theteacher gave us a prompt.
(04:48):
He gave us a deck of cards andtold us to build a house of
cards.
And as soon as mine went up, itfell.
And suddenly, I started writingabout the two years I spent
working the night shift in adomestic violence shelter.
And everything about thatexperience of building something
(05:10):
and watching the smallest littleexternal pressure collapse it,
really broke my heart and brokeme open and motivated me.
So, I have been writing I'vepublished some short pieces.
I have several ill-fated booksalong the way.
(05:30):
I have been writing for most ofmy adult life.
And as I have been writing, Ihave been running Impact Boston,
a nonprofit organization thatgives people practical skills to
prevent and interrupt violence.
And being a nonprofit executivedirector is for me, the best job
(05:51):
I could ever have but any personI describe it to, even the staff
that work at Impact, absolutelythink it sounds like the worst
job ever.
But what I love about it is howmany times a day I have to shift
gears.
So, there was a day a coupleweeks ago where in the morning,
(06:12):
I was working with women inscience to support them in
developing self-advocacy skillsfor being in a male dominated
space.
Then in the afternoon, we wereworking with immigrant rights
advocates around developing theskills to deescalate encounters
(06:32):
with police who are trying to dothings that are not, they're not
authorized legally to do.
And then, I hopped the subwayback to my office and I reviewed
our financials and our auditdocuments.
And that is just like a day inthe life.
And what I love about thoseshifts is that they really help
(06:54):
me look at the work from anumber of perspectives.
And not just leave a number ofperspectives out there in the
world, actually integrate them,make one cohesive meaning out of
them and move them forward.
And my book, I am honored andgrateful that I was able to find
(07:14):
Leila Campoli as an agent.
I came out of her slush pile.
I loved a book by one of herother clients.
And when that author thanked heragent in the acknowledgement
section, I reached out and Isaid, I love this book by your
client.
What you're interested inmatches my idea?
(07:35):
Can we talk?
And Liela actually, the originalidea I had for a book is so
radically different than thisbook that I've decided that
Liela is the best person in theworld.
And then, I was even luckier toland at Beacon Press.
And what I love about BeaconPress is that they have a
(07:57):
mission as a publisher, they areabout publishing books that
advance social justice.
And they also have a reallyskilled sales and marketing team
because they understand thatthese ideas need to not be
marginalized.
And these ideas need to enterthe public conversation the way
(08:19):
any other well performing bookdoes.
So, for me on the practicalside, I saw a lot of 5:30 AM and
a lot of 6:00 AM while I waswriting.
I have a very close relationshipwith caffeine.
But on a more serious note,starting my day, reading
(08:40):
research, distilling what Iknow, analyzing how we got to
this place where peopleassociate.
Following rigid rules with beingsafer really helped me do the
work better.
Do the violence prevention workbetter, do the safety skill
(09:02):
building better, communicatebetter, connect better.
Because thinking about studentsand thinking about readers has a
lot of really importantoverlaps.
So, I think every writer hastheir perfect gel pen and their
perfect notebook, and I am.
Allison (09:19):
Oh my gosh.
I really do.
I went looking for my perfectgel pen before we hopped on.
It's true.
Meg (09:25):
Oh my gosh.
I have gel pens that are thebody of the pen is translucent,
so I can see the ink decrease.
And that makes me feel like I'mwriting and accomplishing
something.
I'm sure the listeners of thispodcast already have their own
favorite pen and don't need meto go on about this forever.
But I think what I would say toanybody who is doing the work
(09:50):
that the current moment demandsis if you can build in some time
for that very disciplined, veryrigorous, and also very
pragmatic thought.
Then, not only can you engage inthe glamorous work of publishing
(10:12):
a book but also the work getscrisper, the work gets clearer,
the work gets more focused, andfrankly, we all need that.
Allison (10:24):
That was amazing.
We're going to unpack a fewthings.
When you said yes, you saw a lotof 5:30 this morning.
I was up at five becauseinsomnia is fun.
But I was so grateful for itbecause I read a book this
morning before 8:30, an entirebook.
Because I speed read because mymother was an English teacher.
(10:45):
She's taught me to read when Iwas four.
So then, you just move on tospeed reading.
And I couldn't put it down.
And I was like, oh, so good.
Okay, so let me get back to diginto everything you just shared.
So, you have this idea for abook and you find I'm assuming a
(11:07):
list of agents that you thoughtmight fit.
And did you pitch them all inone fell swoop?
How and what did you pitch themwith, like a full proposal or an
idea?
Take us through that.
Meg (11:23):
I pitched a completely different idea that ended its
life as a Huffington Post piecein 2020.
But after the 2016 election, Ibecame deeply curious about
women abuse survivors who votedfor Trump.
And what motivated them and whattheir concerns were, their
(11:46):
hopes, their fears, and whatresonated with them about Trump.
It didn't work as a book, butwhat I was able to distill in
the article.
And frankly, like the fact thatI wrote this four years ago
makes me want to hit my headagainst a wall.
(12:06):
But there is a way that weunderstand the voting behavior
of every type of demographicgroup you could think of.
Divorced moms, millennials whodon't own property.
Parents who are over 50 and livein the suburbs.
(12:27):
But there is no, and believe meI asked a lot of people, there's
no evidence, there's nounderstanding of the way a lived
experience of abuse and traumaaffects people's sense of safety
and security and how very harsh,very simplistic rhetoric can
(12:50):
resonate with people who have alife history of feeling deeply
unsafe.
And if we don't understand howtrauma impacts our politics, we
will all be doing the thingsthat the trauma therapists try
to heal us from in the publicconversation.
(13:14):
So, that was what I was able toget at with my failed book idea.
And any reasonable agent wouldhave said, you know what, Meg?
Let's part ways after two roundsof unsuccessful submission.
But Liela is an incrediblygenerous and incredibly
committed person.
(13:34):
So she basically sent me back tothe drawing board.
And what I realized about beingan executive director and an
author is that the point ofbeing an author is to get to
talk about and write about theissues I am most passionate
(13:55):
about.
And political division is veryinteresting to me, but it is not
the issue I'm most passionateabout.
So, the more I thought aboutwhat really moved me in that
writing process.
And it wasn't just writing likeI traveled to North Carolina and
(14:16):
upstate New York andPennsylvania, and I went to
diners.
I went to a women's gunconvention in Texas where I
drove past billboards of all ofthe billboards in the area were
either gun sales, pro-life, orChristianity.
(14:37):
And I realized that I was notgetting outside of my own world
and my own reality.
And those lessons were veryhumbling and very motivating.
But what I love about the waythat Liela navigated what
happened after the book didn'tsell is she really helped me get
(14:59):
myself on a new course.
And a new course took a coupleyears.
And I published a lot of shortpieces.
I pitched and got rejected froma lot of short pieces.
And it really helped meunderstand what was important to
me that wasn't resonating withothers and what was important to
(15:22):
me that was resonating withothers.
I was one of those writers whocould make a pretty sentence out
of anything, but I didn't havethe bigger picture of what I was
saying or the central argument.
So thankfully, I have a friendnamed Molly Singer who runs the
consulting firm, dexteritymanagement.
(15:42):
And she is a nonprofitgeneralist in a way that I am so
entrenched in one issue that Icouldn't like move 10 degrees
over in the violence preventionworld.
But what I loved about Molly isshe sat with me with flip charts
(16:02):
and markers.
And she kept persistently askingme the question, what are you
saying?
In so many more creative waysthan I just asked it, and in
ways that actually yieldedfruitful answers.
So, for a two and a half monthperiod, I didn't write a single
(16:23):
pretty sentence that I edited4,000 times before I liked it.
I just wrote an outline thatfollowed a central argument
through a logical progression.
And so, when I finally diddevelop my book proposal, the
book that was published and thechapter outlines and the sample
(16:47):
chapter that was submitted toBeacon are almost identical.
So, I really knew, I mean, ittook 20 years, two years, or
four years depending on, or 50years depending on when you
start the clock.
But what was so helpful wasfiguring out what I am
(17:13):
passionate about most connectswith the people that it matters
most to connect to.
And how to not just connect, butto connect in a way that
motivates people to move furtherinto working for personal and
social change.
Allison (17:34):
Wow.
Okay.
So, you went on this journey,your agent helped redirect you,
and you stuck with her, and youguys have a rapport.
And now, your book is out in theworld and it's tremendous.
And it gives you the power toopen doors as well to be in
(17:57):
places that you weren't before.
And then, have deeperconversations.
I mean, I could have talk to Iknow you and have known you for
months now.
But I could have sat and talkedto you for hours or just
listened to you talk for hoursbecause everything you're saying
was so fascinating and personal.
When you are out and about inyou're meeting people, what's
(18:21):
one big change you're seeingwhen you're talking about
violence prevention orempowerment self-defense
especially with people who don'talready know you.
Meg (18:34):
Yeah.
And at the bookstore event thatyou saw a lot of the people, I
think more than not, the peoplewho attended just happened to be
in the store and came over whichwas delightful and amazing.
I think I've always lovedbookstores and I've always loved
independent bookstores.
(18:55):
And I have gone to so manyauthor events and just like
that, like to be the personleading the author event is just
such a dream come true.
It's so amazing.
And I think what I'm seeingparticularly in this moment, in
the unique reality that is 2025is people are understanding that
(19:23):
individual agency or individualresistance and systemic
broad-based change are not inopposition, are not opposites.
They are both part of the samework.
So, yes, we have to change laws.
Yes, we have to change policies.
(19:45):
Yes, we have to change media andsocial norms.
And we have done a lot of thatwork and public opinion has
shifted a lot more than theactual prevalence of sexual
violence.
So, what we do to change thingsin public and what we do to
(20:06):
change things in private areboth part of the same work, even
though it is different work.
Particularly, with gender-basedviolence or sexual assault.
Most of this harm is caused whenwe are alone with someone we
thought we could trust, or atleast someone we thought would
(20:27):
not deeply hurt us andtraumatize us.
So, part of the preventionstrategy needs to live in our
bodies.
I have my own body with meeverywhere I go.
And it is very important toeducate people to intervene if
someone else is at risk.
(20:48):
It is very important to workwith young people to make sure
everybody understands consent.
And none of those efforts couldever be a hundred percent
effective.
So, we also need a strategy thatgives us the tools to interrupt
the harm in the moment.
(21:09):
And again, like the researchshows that feminist, or
empowerment self-defense is veryeffective.
And even very effective programsnothing is ever a hundred
percent effective.
So, what I've realized is thatthere seems to be because so
many more people are feelingfearful for their bodily safety
(21:32):
right now, that there is so muchmore hunger for practical
actionable skills, but alsoskills that further the broader
change.
So, a lot of personal safetyadvice or even self-defense
(21:53):
classes are like in a footballfield away from any facts.
One of the largest police ledself-defense programs in their
student manual, they tell womento get thicker curtains so that
nobody can see them changingclothes.
And when I took the training, Iasked what I thought was a very
(22:17):
simple question.
I said, is there a lot ofevidence that violent crimes
begin with someone seeingsomeone through the window?
And that should not be like agotcha question, but the person
who's leading the training waslike, eh, we're not going to get
into all of that.
And what I found is that a lotof primarily men, primarily
(22:39):
folks in positions be theymilitary or law enforcement, or
martial arts primarily inpositions where the expectation
is you do what the authorityfigure says because they're the
authority figure.
A lot of those folks have begunpedaling safety advice to women.
(23:00):
That is completely, evidencepoor that has no evidence to
show that it works.
Everything from don't wear aponytail, an attacker could grab
it, to don't park near a whitevan because otherwise you'll get
pulled into trafficking, toalways take the elevator because
attackers hide out instairwells.
(23:24):
Yep.
And even with the most sincereintentions.
This type of advice becomes aform of coercive control.
Like I got my start in adomestic violence crisis center.
And what we learned when wefirst started the work was that
while the public imagination isof very severe physical violence
(23:47):
and women cowering in corners,what actually is the environment
in which that abuse is possibleis one in which the abusive
person tells somebody what to doand what not to do and tries to
control their every action.
(24:07):
And it breaks my heart when Irealize how similar those types
of coercive control strategiesare to a lot of the personal
safety advice that is out there.
Never ever take the stairs ornever you know, any number of
things.
(24:27):
And like, I had to roll my eyesbecause there's a bunch of
European cardiologists that areshowing that climbing stairs is
really good for heart health andyou only have to climb like five
flights a day to get thecardiovascular benefit So, in
that particular situation, withno evidence that there is any
great amount of crimes either instairs or elevators, the
(24:52):
prevailing safety advice istelling us to do something
that's bad for our health.
Or that at the very least, thatremoves us from something that
is good for our health.
So, that is I wanted people tounderstand that it is not
compliance that makes us safer,but resistance, critical
(25:14):
thinking, self-advocacy andchoice.
So, I don't tell my studentswhat to do.
I give them options of what theycould do.
Good information about the realepidemic of violence.
Not the law and order.
You know, Show of the week.
Allison (25:33):
Not the hide.
Make sure you have an escort.
Right.
You make your life smaller.
Right.
Turn off the lights when you gointo your apartment.
Essentially, it's your fault, ifyou get caught.
Meg (25:46):
Yes.
If you're a woman living aloneUse your initial, not your name
on your mailbox.
Yeah.
Put a pair of men's old boots onyour doorstep so you look like
you live with a man.
The NRA went as far as to directwomen to, this is a direct quote
from refuse to be a victim.
(26:07):
If someone comes to the doorasking for the man of the house,
tell them that the man of thehouse is busy and can't be
interrupted, do not tell themthat you're home alone.
Allison (26:18):
Unfortunate, but Yes.
I've heard all of that.
Now, the flip side is like,
Meg (26:26):
you're a woman being harmed in the United States is probably
the man of the house who isharming you.
Just as an aside, sorry.
To be continued.
Allison (26:33):
Yeah.
And then the flip side is whatwe want for our kids is to grow
up and have a healthyrelationship which we're not
teaching them how we're teachingthem.
Don't be alone with a boy as amom of a two teens, a boy to
girl.
What you want is for them togrow up and have healthy
(26:53):
relationships, which alsoincludes a healthy sex life, and
there's no talk of that.
It's really just make yourselfsmaller.
But not even the environmentthat's okay to have your first
kiss.
Right.
My first kiss was behind theroller skating rink and it was
(27:13):
slushy, it was gross.
Meg (27:15):
If you talk about quality sex education and the person you
were kissing did too, you mighthave had a great first kiss.
Because sex and relationshipsare skills like anything else.
And we don't expect teenagers tomagically do well on math tests.
We put them in math classes andteach them stuff.
(27:39):
And then when we teach them,they can do it.
So, a lot of what impact Bostondoes and a lot of what the
research shows is that the mosteffective self-defense classes
include elements of healthyrelationships and healthy
sexuality.
So, it's not just don't be alonewith a boy because some girls
(28:03):
don't date boys.
Let's be real.
Allison (28:04):
Don't be alone with anyone.
Meg (28:06):
Right.
But it's say what you want andwhat you need and pay attention
to how the person responds.
And say what you like and whatyou don't like, and pay
attention to whether that personis invested in the relationship
being as good for you as it isfor them.
(28:27):
And the red flag, the oppositebeing if you say what you want,
and what you need, or what youdon't want.
And the other person acts likethat didn't happen.
That is a red flag.
Not that they're wearingdisheveled clothes, not that
they jumped out of bushes.
And that way you don't have torestrict your life and you don't
(28:49):
have to treat, you know, anentire gender or an entire class
of people.
There were threat to you becauseyou have the skills to discern
what people are doing inresponse to you advocating for
yourself.
And then, make decisions to theextent that you can, that serve
(29:12):
you.
Or for example, if you're insome of the folks I interviewed
were teaching self-defense tojanitorial workers who worked
the night shift in corporatebuildings.
And a lot of those folks arevery fearful about losing their
jobs, losing their incomes, sothe self-advocacy skills had to
(29:32):
make sense in that context.
Some of the folks I interviewedare PhD scientists working in
drug companies who arenavigating peer pressure to
become drunk from malecolleagues who do not feel
vulnerable when they're drunkthe way they do.
Resistance skills andself-advocacy skills have to fit
(29:56):
your context and have to betaught as a strategy you can use
to navigate an unfair world andnot as a thing you do wrong and
therefore you are attacked.
Allison (30:12):
Well, i'm just going to let that sit there because that
was super powerful.
Thank you for that.
I'm going to pivot now becauseyou're an author, but you're
also an avid reader.
And I would kick myself in theshins if I didn't ask you for a
book recommendation, what areyou reading now that you love?
Meg (30:34):
So, I have a problem with vacation reading in that I
sometimes don't read fun bookson vacation.
So a book that I'm reading thatis very important to me right
now is the fall of Roe, the Riseof a New America by Elizabeth
Diaz and Lisa Lerer.
(30:57):
These are two really smart,really thorough journalists who
have presented this verycompelling investigation of what
happened in the 10 years beforethe Dobbs decision hit the
Supreme Court that overturnedRoe v Wade.
(31:18):
And what I love about the bookis that it helps me think
through okay, how can I reverseengineer that?
How can I use strategies to helpadvocate the causes that I care
(31:38):
about.
And okay, like we went to alittle cabin in a beautiful
small town and I sat outside,overlooking the farmland and the
rolling hills.
And while normal people wouldread like this awesome novel,
I'm sitting there likeunderlining passages in the fall
of row.
And it still felt like avacation.
(32:00):
But it's just been thoughtprovoking to see the political
changes that are happening inour world, whether we agree with
them or whether we don't as theresult of methodical strategic
work.
And like what the differentfactions were how they
disagreed, what they brought tothe table, what worked, what
(32:25):
didn't.
What they abandoned What theykept.
So, it doesn't you know,political changes that I
disagree with are not feeling asmuch like a force of nature.
And are now feeling like anengineerable and reverse
engineerable reality.
Allison (32:40):
Yeah.
When someone points out to youof let me show you how this
happened.
Yeah.
It was, this was not anaccident.
It was not just a groundswell.
No.
It was a strategy that we areall manipulated and we didn't
see the people in the back goinglike, now this is the move.
(33:01):
Yep.
Okay.
Before we call this podcastcomplete, what's one tip you
want to leave the authors outthere authors with who are
trying to stay visible, gettheir work out there, whether
they're have a book or they wantto have a book, what's one thing
(33:25):
they could do today?
Meg (33:27):
I am a big fan of methodical persistence.
I may not be the Flash Pointsocial media queen of the world,
but I have done something to getmy book out there almost every
day since it was published andmany of the days before it was
published.
(33:48):
And sometimes it works,sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes I think it didn'twork.
And then two months later, Ihear back from the person that I
thought, never read my email.
And one thing that I have beenso grateful for is that all of
the relationships and all of thecollaborations that I have built
(34:09):
over my 30 plus years working toprevent violence and abuse have
really come back to help me interms of getting the book out
there.
There are empowerment,self-defense, domestic violence,
sexual assault, survivoradvocacy colleagues and
(34:30):
collaborators that have workedwith me to get the word out
about the cost of fear.
We just heard from a PlannedParenthood organizer.
Who reached out to us becauseshe read my book and I was like,
oh, cool, let's talk.
So, I think just the promotionof my book starts from the heart
(34:53):
and from the fire under me aboutwhat all of the ideas and all of
the messages in this book meanto me.
So, if I lean into the heart ofwhy I am doing this and the
urgency of it and the importanceof it, then I don't feel like
I'm selling you another maxiskirt that's going to
(35:16):
disintegrate in the wash.
I feel like I am moving the workforward and I only know what a
maxi skirt is because I watchedProject Runway.
Just for the record.
In the Tim Gunn era, I lovedProject Runway.
Allison (35:32):
So, what was the term you used the consistent
redundancy, no?
Meg (35:36):
Methodical, consistent, just like impact Boston has
grown, not because big fancygrants fell from the sky, but
because I just kept meeting withpeople who were interested in
(35:57):
what we did, but reallystruggled with it and really
weren't sold.
Or who were sold, but couldn'tfigure out how to fund a
program.
So, just that consistent,methodical present work is what
has served me as an author.
Also, indie bookstores that havea good events program have just
(36:24):
been such a joy to work with.
Allison (36:27):
Yeah.
Shout out to Porter Square Booksand.
Meg (36:28):
Porter Square books.
And the other thing, we candouble shout them out.
The other thing that PorterSquare books did that was so
special was they didn't justhave me come and read, they do
an event.
They do it, I don't know,monthly, quarterly some
iteration where they donate aportion of book sales during the
(36:51):
two hours surrounding the eventto an organization.
So, Porter Square Books isgenerously offering very
concrete support to impactBoston in addition to hosting a
book talk.
And what I just want toacknowledge is since November of
2024, our waiting lists havebeen larger than our classes,
(37:16):
and we have had to add extraclasses to reach people who are
feeling very acute fear and veryacute concern about their or
other people's safety.
And many of the folks that wereach can't afford very much.
And so, it's just beenincredibly wonderful and I'm
(37:39):
incredibly honored to work withPorter Square Books and so many
others.
And yeah, It is such a.
Allison (37:45):
Big shout out to Porter Square books in Cambridge.
They're like many indie bookstores dug in and committed to
their community and to authors.
So, we love the Indies for sure.
Meg Stone, thank you forspending this time with us and
thank you listening on yourdrive to work as people actually
(38:07):
go back to work and wondering,will I ever get a chance to
write the book, I know I'm meantto write?
Yes.
Yes, you will.
There is always a way, and thatis not blind optimism.
Meg (38:22):
One of the things I learned through all of the failures, all
of the wrong terms, all of thebooks that didn't work is that
there is a unique intersectionof what I want to say and what
people need to hear that I couldnot find until the cost of fear.
(38:49):
And when I was not finding it,the projects were not working.
And when I did find it and I hada lot of help and a lot of
support, then I wrote the bookthat I needed to write because
we write in a journal forourselves, we write for
publication for a connectionbetween ourselves and others.
(39:14):
And like the impact staff teachin the healthy relationships
classes, a healthy relationshipbenefits both people.
Allison (39:22):
You've given us so much to think about and for you
driving to work, now thateveryone's back actually
commuting except for me in mybasement.
I appreciate you and you'rethinking, will I ever get to
write the book i'm meant towrite?
Yes, of course you will, becauseyou can, not because of some
(39:46):
lightning strike, but becauseMeg says,'consistent, repetitive
steps, actions forward.' Andthere's always a way, there is
always a way to make it happen.
It's not if now then I guessI'll give up on that.
(40:07):
No, it's, there's always a way.
Please, if you are ready or youthink I might be ready, book a
call.
It's a free consult.
Send me an email,allison@lanelit.com, or go to my
website and grab time on withme.
(40:28):
I have time every single week,and I would love to talk to you
about your message and gettingit into the world.
Meg, You are a force and I soappreciate you being here.
Meg (40:40):
You are a force and there's a lot of really ridiculous
algorithm things that will popup in your feed, but skip all of
those and go to Allison'sclasses because she makes it
clear.
She makes it actionable.
It is based on what actuallyworks and like good safety
(41:02):
advice.
It's not one size fits all.
It's about what works for eachperson.
So, thank you.
As Allison says, book a call,maybe you believe that, but as a
participant in Allison's amazingtrainings, I will say book a
call.
One of the things I learned through all of the failures, all
of the wrong terms, all of thebooks that didn't work is that
there is a unique intersectionof what I want to say and what
people need to hear that I couldnot find until the cost of fear.
Allison (00:55):
Welcome back to the Author's Edge.
I am your host, Allison Lane,and I'm here for you because I
know how hard it is to writeyour book and then get your book
into the world and then tolaunch your book and continue
talking about what your bookwhile you're living your life.
Too often, experts who are doingtheir expertise for their living
(01:22):
wish that they had time to writetheir book or that they could
bottle all of their knowledgeinto a book.
And that is hard.
But today, we're talking to MegStone who has done this and is
bettering the universe for itbecause too often the safety
(01:43):
advice women get, keeps usplaying small.
The generally, safety advicekeeps everyone playing small.
Tells us to smile, stay quiet,stay home.
But Meg has been dedicated tochallenging that.
She is the executive director ofImpact Boston and has trained
(02:07):
thousands of people with realworld evidence-based safety and
abuse prevention.
And now, her debut book, which Iwill hold up because it's
awesome, The Cost of Fear, she'scalling out myths that pass for
safety advice and offeringsomething so much more valuable
(02:28):
and powerful in their place.
So, whether you're stepping intoyour role as an author or you're
trying to figure out how to getyour message out into the world
even before you think maybe Ishould write a book about it, or
you are raising people and in aworld that doesn't always feel
(02:51):
safe.
This conversation will shift howyou think about all of that with
confidence and courage and realprotection.
So, let's get into it.
Meg, thanks so much for beinghere.
I'm really happy that I got tosee you at a recent book event
(03:12):
because the discussion thathappens is so much more powerful
having read the book.
Thank you.
And your ability to help makeall of this advice and safety
precaution actually personal andpractical is what we need.
(03:36):
Let's start with this.
Can you talk through yourjourney to becoming an author
because this is your debut andit's not like you don't have a
full time job that is demanding.
Right?
Sure.
You've done what a lot of peoplewant to do.
Like you dumped your noggin,like all the knowledge into a
(04:00):
book that is helping.
Meg (04:02):
Thank you.
Thank you so much for that.
And I have done it.
It is not easy, but it isprobably one of the most
important things that I havedone in my life.
And I want everyone who isorganizing around immigrant
justice or social change in anyarea.
(04:24):
If you have a book in you, itcan be done.
So, that's my little, uhwhatever.
My brief moment as amotivational speaker, which will
now happen.
But for me, I first knew that Iwanted to write a book about 20
years ago.
I was in a writing class and theteacher gave us a prompt.
(04:48):
He gave us a deck of cards andtold us to build a house of
cards.
And as soon as mine went up, itfell.
And suddenly, I started writingabout the two years I spent
working the night shift in adomestic violence shelter.
And everything about thatexperience of building something
(05:10):
and watching the smallest littleexternal pressure collapse it,
really broke my heart and brokeme open and motivated me.
So, I have been writing I'vepublished some short pieces.
I have several ill-fated booksalong the way.
(05:30):
I have been writing for most ofmy adult life.
And as I have been writing, Ihave been running Impact Boston,
a nonprofit organization thatgives people practical skills to
prevent and interrupt violence.
And being a nonprofit executivedirector is for me, the best job
(05:51):
I could ever have but any personI describe it to, even the staff
that work at Impact, absolutelythink it sounds like the worst
job ever.
But what I love about it is howmany times a day I have to shift
gears.
So, there was a day a coupleweeks ago where in the morning,
(06:12):
I was working with women inscience to support them in
developing self-advocacy skillsfor being in a male dominated
space.
Then in the afternoon, we wereworking with immigrant rights
advocates around developing theskills to deescalate encounters
(06:32):
with police who are trying to dothings that are not, they're not
authorized legally to do.
And then, I hopped the subwayback to my office and I reviewed
our financials and our auditdocuments.
And that is just like a day inthe life.
And what I love about thoseshifts is that they really help
(06:54):
me look at the work from anumber of perspectives.
And not just leave a number ofperspectives out there in the
world, actually integrate them,make one cohesive meaning out of
them and move them forward.
And my book, I am honored andgrateful that I was able to find
(07:14):
Leila Campoli as an agent.
I came out of her slush pile.
I loved a book by one of herother clients.
And when that author thanked heragent in the acknowledgement
section, I reached out and Isaid, I love this book by your
client.
What you're interested inmatches my idea?
(07:35):
Can we talk?
And Liela actually, the originalidea I had for a book is so
radically different than thisbook that I've decided that
Liela is the best person in theworld.
And then, I was even luckier toland at Beacon Press.
And what I love about BeaconPress is that they have a
(07:57):
mission as a publisher, they areabout publishing books that
advance social justice.
And they also have a reallyskilled sales and marketing team
because they understand thatthese ideas need to not be
marginalized.
And these ideas need to enterthe public conversation the way
(08:19):
any other well performing bookdoes.
So, for me on the practicalside, I saw a lot of 5:30 AM and
a lot of 6:00 AM while I waswriting.
I have a very close relationshipwith caffeine.
But on a more serious note,starting my day, reading
(08:40):
research, distilling what Iknow, analyzing how we got to
this place where peopleassociate.
Following rigid rules with beingsafer really helped me do the
work better.
Do the violence prevention workbetter, do the safety skill
(09:02):
building better, communicatebetter, connect better.
Because thinking about studentsand thinking about readers has a
lot of really importantoverlaps.
So, I think every writer hastheir perfect gel pen and their
perfect notebook, and I am.
Allison (09:19):
Oh my gosh.
I really do.
I went looking for my perfectgel pen before we hopped on.
It's true.
Meg (09:25):
Oh my gosh.
I have gel pens that are thebody of the pen is translucent,
so I can see the ink decrease.
And that makes me feel like I'mwriting and accomplishing
something.
I'm sure the listeners of thispodcast already have their own
favorite pen and don't need meto go on about this forever.
But I think what I would say toanybody who is doing the work
(09:50):
that the current moment demandsis if you can build in some time
for that very disciplined, veryrigorous, and also very
pragmatic thought.
Then, not only can you engage inthe glamorous work of publishing
(10:12):
a book but also the work getscrisper, the work gets clearer,
the work gets more focused, andfrankly, we all need that.
Allison (10:24):
That was amazing.
We're going to unpack a fewthings.
When you said yes, you saw a lotof 5:30 this morning.
I was up at five becauseinsomnia is fun.
But I was so grateful for itbecause I read a book this
morning before 8:30, an entirebook.
Because I speed read because mymother was an English teacher.
(10:45):
She's taught me to read when Iwas four.
So then, you just move on tospeed reading.
And I couldn't put it down.
And I was like, oh, so good.
Okay, so let me get back to diginto everything you just shared.
So, you have this idea for abook and you find I'm assuming a
(11:07):
list of agents that you thoughtmight fit.
And did you pitch them all inone fell swoop?
How and what did you pitch themwith, like a full proposal or an
idea?
Take us through that.
Meg (11:23):
I pitched a completely different idea that ended its
life as a Huffington Post piecein 2020.
But after the 2016 election, Ibecame deeply curious about
women abuse survivors who votedfor Trump.
And what motivated them and whattheir concerns were, their
(11:46):
hopes, their fears, and whatresonated with them about Trump.
It didn't work as a book, butwhat I was able to distill in
the article.
And frankly, like the fact thatI wrote this four years ago
makes me want to hit my headagainst a wall.
(12:06):
But there is a way that weunderstand the voting behavior
of every type of demographicgroup you could think of.
Divorced moms, millennials whodon't own property.
Parents who are over 50 and livein the suburbs.
(12:27):
But there is no, and believe meI asked a lot of people, there's
no evidence, there's nounderstanding of the way a lived
experience of abuse and traumaaffects people's sense of safety
and security and how very harsh,very simplistic rhetoric can
(12:50):
resonate with people who have alife history of feeling deeply
unsafe.
And if we don't understand howtrauma impacts our politics, we
will all be doing the thingsthat the trauma therapists try
to heal us from in the publicconversation.
(13:14):
So, that was what I was able toget at with my failed book idea.
And any reasonable agent wouldhave said, you know what, Meg?
Let's part ways after two roundsof unsuccessful submission.
But Liela is an incrediblygenerous and incredibly
committed person.
(13:34):
So she basically sent me back tothe drawing board.
And what I realized about beingan executive director and an
author is that the point ofbeing an author is to get to
talk about and write about theissues I am most passionate
(13:55):
about.
And political division is veryinteresting to me, but it is not
the issue I'm most passionateabout.
So, the more I thought aboutwhat really moved me in that
writing process.
And it wasn't just writing likeI traveled to North Carolina and
(14:16):
upstate New York andPennsylvania, and I went to
diners.
I went to a women's gunconvention in Texas where I
drove past billboards of all ofthe billboards in the area were
either gun sales, pro-life, orChristianity.
(14:37):
And I realized that I was notgetting outside of my own world
and my own reality.
And those lessons were veryhumbling and very motivating.
But what I love about the waythat Liela navigated what
happened after the book didn'tsell is she really helped me get
(14:59):
myself on a new course.
And a new course took a coupleyears.
And I published a lot of shortpieces.
I pitched and got rejected froma lot of short pieces.
And it really helped meunderstand what was important to
me that wasn't resonating withothers and what was important to
(15:22):
me that was resonating withothers.
I was one of those writers whocould make a pretty sentence out
of anything, but I didn't havethe bigger picture of what I was
saying or the central argument.
So thankfully, I have a friendnamed Molly Singer who runs the
consulting firm, dexteritymanagement.
(15:42):
And she is a nonprofitgeneralist in a way that I am so
entrenched in one issue that Icouldn't like move 10 degrees
over in the violence preventionworld.
But what I loved about Molly isshe sat with me with flip charts
(16:02):
and markers.
And she kept persistently askingme the question, what are you
saying?
In so many more creative waysthan I just asked it, and in
ways that actually yieldedfruitful answers.
So, for a two and a half monthperiod, I didn't write a single
(16:23):
pretty sentence that I edited4,000 times before I liked it.
I just wrote an outline thatfollowed a central argument
through a logical progression.
And so, when I finally diddevelop my book proposal, the
book that was published and thechapter outlines and the sample
(16:47):
chapter that was submitted toBeacon are almost identical.
So, I really knew, I mean, ittook 20 years, two years, or
four years depending on, or 50years depending on when you
start the clock.
But what was so helpful wasfiguring out what I am
(17:13):
passionate about most connectswith the people that it matters
most to connect to.
And how to not just connect, butto connect in a way that
motivates people to move furtherinto working for personal and
social change.
Allison (17:34):
Wow.
Okay.
So, you went on this journey,your agent helped redirect you,
and you stuck with her, and youguys have a rapport.
And now, your book is out in theworld and it's tremendous.
And it gives you the power toopen doors as well to be in
(17:57):
places that you weren't before.
And then, have deeperconversations.
I mean, I could have talk to Iknow you and have known you for
months now.
But I could have sat and talkedto you for hours or just
listened to you talk for hoursbecause everything you're saying
was so fascinating and personal.
When you are out and about inyou're meeting people, what's
(18:21):
one big change you're seeingwhen you're talking about
violence prevention orempowerment self-defense
especially with people who don'talready know you.
Meg (18:34):
Yeah.
And at the bookstore event thatyou saw a lot of the people, I
think more than not, the peoplewho attended just happened to be
in the store and came over whichwas delightful and amazing.
I think I've always lovedbookstores and I've always loved
independent bookstores.
(18:55):
And I have gone to so manyauthor events and just like
that, like to be the personleading the author event is just
such a dream come true.
It's so amazing.
And I think what I'm seeingparticularly in this moment, in
the unique reality that is 2025is people are understanding that
(19:23):
individual agency or individualresistance and systemic
broad-based change are not inopposition, are not opposites.
They are both part of the samework.
So, yes, we have to change laws.
Yes, we have to change policies.
(19:45):
Yes, we have to change media andsocial norms.
And we have done a lot of thatwork and public opinion has
shifted a lot more than theactual prevalence of sexual
violence.
So, what we do to change thingsin public and what we do to
(20:06):
change things in private areboth part of the same work, even
though it is different work.
Particularly, with gender-basedviolence or sexual assault.
Most of this harm is caused whenwe are alone with someone we
thought we could trust, or atleast someone we thought would
(20:27):
not deeply hurt us andtraumatize us.
So, part of the preventionstrategy needs to live in our
bodies.
I have my own body with meeverywhere I go.
And it is very important toeducate people to intervene if
someone else is at risk.
(20:48):
It is very important to workwith young people to make sure
everybody understands consent.
And none of those efforts couldever be a hundred percent
effective.
So, we also need a strategy thatgives us the tools to interrupt
the harm in the moment.
(21:09):
And again, like the researchshows that feminist, or
empowerment self-defense is veryeffective.
And even very effective programsnothing is ever a hundred
percent effective.
So, what I've realized is thatthere seems to be because so
many more people are feelingfearful for their bodily safety
(21:32):
right now, that there is so muchmore hunger for practical
actionable skills, but alsoskills that further the broader
change.
So, a lot of personal safetyadvice or even self-defense
(21:53):
classes are like in a footballfield away from any facts.
One of the largest police ledself-defense programs in their
student manual, they tell womento get thicker curtains so that
nobody can see them changingclothes.
And when I took the training, Iasked what I thought was a very
(22:17):
simple question.
I said, is there a lot ofevidence that violent crimes
begin with someone seeingsomeone through the window?
And that should not be like agotcha question, but the person
who's leading the training waslike, eh, we're not going to get
into all of that.
And what I found is that a lotof primarily men, primarily
(22:39):
folks in positions be theymilitary or law enforcement, or
martial arts primarily inpositions where the expectation
is you do what the authorityfigure says because they're the
authority figure.
A lot of those folks have begunpedaling safety advice to women.
(23:00):
That is completely, evidencepoor that has no evidence to
show that it works.
Everything from don't wear aponytail, an attacker could grab
it, to don't park near a whitevan because otherwise you'll get
pulled into trafficking, toalways take the elevator because
attackers hide out instairwells.
(23:24):
Yep.
And even with the most sincereintentions.
This type of advice becomes aform of coercive control.
Like I got my start in adomestic violence crisis center.
And what we learned when wefirst started the work was that
while the public imagination isof very severe physical violence
(23:47):
and women cowering in corners,what actually is the environment
in which that abuse is possibleis one in which the abusive
person tells somebody what to doand what not to do and tries to
control their every action.
(24:07):
And it breaks my heart when Irealize how similar those types
of coercive control strategiesare to a lot of the personal
safety advice that is out there.
Never ever take the stairs ornever you know, any number of
things.
(24:27):
And like, I had to roll my eyesbecause there's a bunch of
European cardiologists that areshowing that climbing stairs is
really good for heart health andyou only have to climb like five
flights a day to get thecardiovascular benefit So, in
that particular situation, withno evidence that there is any
great amount of crimes either instairs or elevators, the
(24:52):
prevailing safety advice istelling us to do something
that's bad for our health.
Or that at the very least, thatremoves us from something that
is good for our health.
So, that is I wanted people tounderstand that it is not
compliance that makes us safer,but resistance, critical
(25:14):
thinking, self-advocacy andchoice.
So, I don't tell my studentswhat to do.
I give them options of what theycould do.
Good information about the realepidemic of violence.
Not the law and order.
You know, Show of the week.
Allison (25:33):
Not the hide.
Make sure you have an escort.
Right.
You make your life smaller.
Right.
Turn off the lights when you gointo your apartment.
Essentially, it's your fault, ifyou get caught.
Meg (25:46):
Yes.
If you're a woman living aloneUse your initial, not your name
on your mailbox.
Yeah.
Put a pair of men's old boots onyour doorstep so you look like
you live with a man.
The NRA went as far as to directwomen to, this is a direct quote
from refuse to be a victim.
(26:07):
If someone comes to the doorasking for the man of the house,
tell them that the man of thehouse is busy and can't be
interrupted, do not tell themthat you're home alone.
Allison (26:18):
Unfortunate, but Yes.
I've heard all of that.
Now, the flip side is like,
Meg (26:26):
you're a woman being harmed in the United States is probably
the man of the house who isharming you.
Just as an aside, sorry.
To be continued.
Allison (26:33):
Yeah.
And then the flip side is whatwe want for our kids is to grow
up and have a healthyrelationship which we're not
teaching them how we're teachingthem.
Don't be alone with a boy as amom of a two teens, a boy to
girl.
What you want is for them togrow up and have healthy
(26:53):
relationships, which alsoincludes a healthy sex life, and
there's no talk of that.
It's really just make yourselfsmaller.
But not even the environmentthat's okay to have your first
kiss.
Right.
My first kiss was behind theroller skating rink and it was
(27:13):
slushy, it was gross.
Meg (27:15):
If you talk about quality sex education and the person you
were kissing did too, you mighthave had a great first kiss.
Because sex and relationshipsare skills like anything else.
And we don't expect teenagers tomagically do well on math tests.
We put them in math classes andteach them stuff.
(27:39):
And then when we teach them,they can do it.
So, a lot of what impact Bostondoes and a lot of what the
research shows is that the mosteffective self-defense classes
include elements of healthyrelationships and healthy
sexuality.
So, it's not just don't be alonewith a boy because some girls
(28:03):
don't date boys.
Let's be real.
Allison (28:04):
Don't be alone with anyone.
Meg (28:06):
Right.
But it's say what you want andwhat you need and pay attention
to how the person responds.
And say what you like and whatyou don't like, and pay
attention to whether that personis invested in the relationship
being as good for you as it isfor them.
(28:27):
And the red flag, the oppositebeing if you say what you want,
and what you need, or what youdon't want.
And the other person acts likethat didn't happen.
That is a red flag.
Not that they're wearingdisheveled clothes, not that
they jumped out of bushes.
And that way you don't have torestrict your life and you don't
(28:49):
have to treat, you know, anentire gender or an entire class
of people.
There were threat to you becauseyou have the skills to discern
what people are doing inresponse to you advocating for
yourself.
And then, make decisions to theextent that you can, that serve
(29:12):
you.
Or for example, if you're insome of the folks I interviewed
were teaching self-defense tojanitorial workers who worked
the night shift in corporatebuildings.
And a lot of those folks arevery fearful about losing their
jobs, losing their incomes, sothe self-advocacy skills had to
(29:32):
make sense in that context.
Some of the folks I interviewedare PhD scientists working in
drug companies who arenavigating peer pressure to
become drunk from malecolleagues who do not feel
vulnerable when they're drunkthe way they do.
Resistance skills andself-advocacy skills have to fit
(29:56):
your context and have to betaught as a strategy you can use
to navigate an unfair world andnot as a thing you do wrong and
therefore you are attacked.
Allison (30:12):
Well, i'm just going to let that sit there because that
was super powerful.
Thank you for that.
I'm going to pivot now becauseyou're an author, but you're
also an avid reader.
And I would kick myself in theshins if I didn't ask you for a
book recommendation, what areyou reading now that you love?
Meg (30:34):
So, I have a problem with vacation reading in that I
sometimes don't read fun bookson vacation.
So a book that I'm reading thatis very important to me right
now is the fall of Roe, the Riseof a New America by Elizabeth
Diaz and Lisa Lerer.
(30:57):
These are two really smart,really thorough journalists who
have presented this verycompelling investigation of what
happened in the 10 years beforethe Dobbs decision hit the
Supreme Court that overturnedRoe v Wade.
(31:18):
And what I love about the bookis that it helps me think
through okay, how can I reverseengineer that?
How can I use strategies to helpadvocate the causes that I care
(31:38):
about.
And okay, like we went to alittle cabin in a beautiful
small town and I sat outside,overlooking the farmland and the
rolling hills.
And while normal people wouldread like this awesome novel,
I'm sitting there likeunderlining passages in the fall
of row.
And it still felt like avacation.
(32:00):
But it's just been thoughtprovoking to see the political
changes that are happening inour world, whether we agree with
them or whether we don't as theresult of methodical strategic
work.
And like what the differentfactions were how they
disagreed, what they brought tothe table, what worked, what
(32:25):
didn't.
What they abandoned What theykept.
So, it doesn't you know,political changes that I
disagree with are not feeling asmuch like a force of nature.
And are now feeling like anengineerable and reverse
engineerable reality.
Allison (32:40):
Yeah.
When someone points out to youof let me show you how this
happened.
Yeah.
It was, this was not anaccident.
It was not just a groundswell.
No.
It was a strategy that we areall manipulated and we didn't
see the people in the back goinglike, now this is the move.
(33:01):
Yep.
Okay.
Before we call this podcastcomplete, what's one tip you
want to leave the authors outthere authors with who are
trying to stay visible, gettheir work out there, whether
they're have a book or they wantto have a book, what's one thing
(33:25):
they could do today?
Meg (33:27):
I am a big fan of methodical persistence.
I may not be the Flash Pointsocial media queen of the world,
but I have done something to getmy book out there almost every
day since it was published andmany of the days before it was
published.
(33:48):
And sometimes it works,sometimes it doesn't.
Sometimes I think it didn'twork.
And then two months later, Ihear back from the person that I
thought, never read my email.
And one thing that I have beenso grateful for is that all of
the relationships and all of thecollaborations that I have built
(34:09):
over my 30 plus years working toprevent violence and abuse have
really come back to help me interms of getting the book out
there.
There are empowerment,self-defense, domestic violence,
sexual assault, survivoradvocacy colleagues and
(34:30):
collaborators that have workedwith me to get the word out
about the cost of fear.
We just heard from a PlannedParenthood organizer.
Who reached out to us becauseshe read my book and I was like,
oh, cool, let's talk.
So, I think just the promotionof my book starts from the heart
(34:53):
and from the fire under me aboutwhat all of the ideas and all of
the messages in this book meanto me.
So, if I lean into the heart ofwhy I am doing this and the
urgency of it and the importanceof it, then I don't feel like
I'm selling you another maxiskirt that's going to
(35:16):
disintegrate in the wash.
I feel like I am moving the workforward and I only know what a
maxi skirt is because I watchedProject Runway.
Just for the record.
In the Tim Gunn era, I lovedProject Runway.
Allison (35:32):
So, what was the term you used the consistent
redundancy, no?
Meg (35:36):
Methodical, consistent, just like impact Boston has
grown, not because big fancygrants fell from the sky, but
because I just kept meeting withpeople who were interested in
(35:57):
what we did, but reallystruggled with it and really
weren't sold.
Or who were sold, but couldn'tfigure out how to fund a
program.
So, just that consistent,methodical present work is what
has served me as an author.
Also, indie bookstores that havea good events program have just
(36:24):
been such a joy to work with.
Allison (36:27):
Yeah.
Shout out to Porter Square Booksand.
Meg (36:28):
Porter Square books.
And the other thing, we candouble shout them out.
The other thing that PorterSquare books did that was so
special was they didn't justhave me come and read, they do
an event.
They do it, I don't know,monthly, quarterly some
iteration where they donate aportion of book sales during the
(36:51):
two hours surrounding the eventto an organization.
So, Porter Square Books isgenerously offering very
concrete support to impactBoston in addition to hosting a
book talk.
And what I just want toacknowledge is since November of
2024, our waiting lists havebeen larger than our classes,
(37:16):
and we have had to add extraclasses to reach people who are
feeling very acute fear and veryacute concern about their or
other people's safety.
And many of the folks that wereach can't afford very much.
And so, it's just beenincredibly wonderful and I'm
(37:39):
incredibly honored to work withPorter Square Books and so many
others.
And yeah, It is such a.
Allison (37:45):
Big shout out to Porter Square books in Cambridge.
They're like many indie bookstores dug in and committed to
their community and to authors.
So, we love the Indies for sure.
Meg Stone, thank you forspending this time with us and
thank you listening on yourdrive to work as people actually
(38:07):
go back to work and wondering,will I ever get a chance to
write the book, I know I'm meantto write?
Yes.
Yes, you will.
There is always a way, and thatis not blind optimism.
Meg (38:22):
One of the things I learned through all of the failures, all
of the wrong terms, all of thebooks that didn't work is that
there is a unique intersectionof what I want to say and what
people need to hear that I couldnot find until the cost of fear.
(38:49):
And when I was not finding it,the projects were not working.
And when I did find it and I hada lot of help and a lot of
support, then I wrote the bookthat I needed to write because
we write in a journal forourselves, we write for
publication for a connectionbetween ourselves and others.
(39:14):
And like the impact staff teachin the healthy relationships
classes, a healthy relationshipbenefits both people.
Allison (39:22):
You've given us so much to think about and for you
driving to work, now thateveryone's back actually
commuting except for me in mybasement.
I appreciate you and you'rethinking, will I ever get to
write the book i'm meant towrite?
Yes, of course you will, becauseyou can, not because of some
(39:46):
lightning strike, but becauseMeg says,'consistent, repetitive
steps, actions forward.' Andthere's always a way, there is
always a way to make it happen.
It's not if now then I guessI'll give up on that.
(40:07):
No, it's, there's always a way.
Please, if you are ready or youthink I might be ready, book a
call.
It's a free consult.
Send me an email,allison@lanelit.com, or go to my
website and grab time on withme.
(40:28):
I have time every single week,and I would love to talk to you
about your message and gettingit into the world.
Meg, You are a force and I soappreciate you being here.
Meg (40:40):
You are a force and there's a lot of really ridiculous
algorithm things that will popup in your feed, but skip all of
those and go to Allison'sclasses because she makes it
clear.
She makes it actionable.
It is based on what actuallyworks and like good safety
(41:02):
advice.
It's not one size fits all.
It's about what works for eachperson.
So, thank you.
As Allison says, book a call,maybe you believe that, but as a
participant in Allison's amazingtrainings, I will say book a
call.
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