May 20, 2025 • 54 mins
Raw, unfiltered, and straight from an abandoned hospital in Chillicothe, Texas comes one of our most emotionally charged conversations yet. This episode strips away pretense as we navigate the complex terrain of grief, faith, and finding meaning after devastating loss.
Fresh from attending a funeral, we dive into the uncomfortable realities of how we process death differently. Zach courageously shares his ongoing journey through grief after losing his children, exposing the anger, spiritual questioning, and daily battles that persist long after others expect healing to have occurred. His candid admission—"I get angry at God"—despite being what he calls "a 100 percenter" in his faith, creates space for listeners wrestling with similar contradictions.
The conversation takes a turn toward the isolating aspects of profound grief, particularly how social interactions become complicated when well-meaning people don't know what to say. "Don't ask me how I've been," Zach suggests, highlighting the impossible choice between honesty that makes others uncomfortable or platitudes that feel dishonest to one's experience.
What truly sets this episode apart is the music. Throughout our discussion, Zach performs several soul-stirring songs including "Peace in the Valley" and "Amazing Grace," each triggering palpable shifts in the emotional atmosphere. These musical interludes demonstrate what words alone cannot express—the therapeutic power of artistic expression amid overwhelming pain.
Throughout it all runs a thread of genuine friendship and the understanding that healing isn't about returning to who we were before loss, but finding ways to carry our grief while still creating moments of meaning. As one poignant exchange reveals: "We don't want to be remembered, we just don't want to be forgotten." Listen, reflect, and perhaps find some comfort in knowing you're not alone in your darkest moments.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Zack (00:01):
And with those baby blue eyes and that smile that's mine.
This year, well, she turnedthree.
You better grab a hold ofsomething, oh something, rather,
hold you and don't ask aquestion if you can't take the
(00:23):
truth, cause it might be aquestion, and you can't take the
truth Because it might be areflection of you.
I said it might be a reflectionof you Coming to.
Bucky (00:38):
You live from the old, abandoned Chillicothe Hospital
in Chillicothe, texas, are werecording.
Zack (00:45):
Yeah, Okay so this is the B the.
E and the Z coming to you froman abandoned haunted hospital,
so we went to a funeral today.
Bucky (01:01):
Yeah.
Zack (01:02):
That was I know man, that was terrible.
Bucky (01:04):
I mean, it wasn't terrible.
No, I mean, I know, man, thatwas.
Zack (01:06):
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't terrible.
No, I mean, you know it wasyeah but uh, uh, man, the
funerals don't do me right, youknow if I'm not singing it one
day because I can sing it.
I can sing it anybody's, Idon't care hey sing it mine.
Bucky (01:21):
I will, if I'm right, we talked about that man, but.
But the thing is I want you atmine for sure.
Zack (01:27):
I can block myself, I can block it out.
Yeah, I mean, I just can do itwhen it's just music.
Bucky (01:33):
But if I have to sit there it's man, you can play a
whole concert at mine.
Zack (01:38):
Dude, you can play like four songs, I'll be all right.
You tell them my leg wasbouncing, boy, I'm telling you
right now I know, I know, I know, it was tough.
It ain't that man.
Bucky (01:50):
No, it is man yeah.
Zack (01:53):
But you know, it's like when they go, he was preceded in
death by, or he preceded indeath to, you know, talk about
all his kids and grandkids andall that shit and how he loved
his grandkids and all that stuff.
It's a great thing and he did.
Don't get me wrong, but I justget so mad, yeah, I mean, I get
(02:15):
mad, I get angry, I get angry atGod, I mean, but there's no
reason to be angry at God, Imean but there's no reason.
But I mean I get angry and I'vebeen letting it go.
I mean I mean you know Ishouldn't, it shouldn't be that
way.
But especially, you know I'm100 percent, I'm 100 percenter.
(02:38):
You know it is what it is.
I believe, I believe 100percent, so, but I'm still for
me to be somebody that can saythat I'm a hundred percent and
that I mean that's one of thequestions I'll ask you is do you
believe in god?
You know, when I first meet you, you know what I'm saying.
Uh, it's all about how manysouls you can bring to you know,
(02:59):
it's what we're here for.
But for me to be that way andthat to happen, man, it's like a
Still going to have a personalstruggle.
Earl (03:11):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Bucky (03:12):
Yeah, you can help somebody else easily but
yourself.
Zack (03:15):
It's always harder.
Earl (03:16):
Because you have that feeling of anger, jealousy, like
you say.
Those are human.
I mean it's a matter of well,kind of like not dealing with,
but not even like distractingand putting it out of your head.
Like you said, there's stillother ways.
Hey, that works for a while,don't it For a minute?
But I mean there's also otherthings to move on.
(03:37):
In a way, I mean none of thewords fit it.
You know I'm a firm believer.
Zack (03:42):
I'm a firm believer.
I'm a firm believer, so I mean,it's like you know that, how
you gonna let that, how yougonna do that, let that, allow
that to happen to me well, Ithink some people aren't even
gonna say that you know what Imean.
Earl (03:53):
Some people just gonna twist off and just let you know
what I mean you know.
Zack (03:56):
But what I'm saying, that's how I mean, that's me
right now, that's how I feel.
That's what I'm angry about.
Earl (04:01):
I'm angry about but you're coming back to that base.
Like you say you don't got that, you already know something
different.
Like you say it's just hard tofind that spot personally.
Well, I mean.
Zack (04:09):
I'm good if I'm talking about him, but it's just the
night I have time to sit there,have to be quiet and listen to.
Yeah, you know it's envy,jealousy, it's a bunch of things
.
You know it's anger, uh, andthat's my go-to in this, you
know it's not.
Yeah, anything that makes meeven cry, it makes me mad, you
know what I'm saying so.
(04:30):
Uh, it's just, it's a situationand I know I'm not the only
mother out there that's had aloss like that and feels like
they got the raw end of the dealand you know how could this
happen.
Yeah, but it is a I would notwish it on my worst enemy.
I mean, if we went into warwith somebody, I would not wish
(04:52):
that on my worst enemy.
There's no explaining, there'sno understanding the loss, the
pain, the anger there's, justyou can't explain it.
I mean there's no words for thedaily battle.
I mean it is a daily battle.
Earl (05:14):
Yeah, I mean, oh my God.
Well, it's a constant battle.
Zack (05:17):
I'm sure, and you know, I'm sure people get tired of it.
I don't talk about it muchreally, I just, but you know,
then you have people.
Earl (05:24):
Well, that's because you don't know what to expect from
people, huh.
Zack (05:27):
Oh yeah, some people like will look at you like you're
still upset about that.
You know, or you know, and I'ma.
I punch you right in your mouth.
Say what you're thinking.
You know, that's what I'm, justthey may not even be thinking
that.
You know.
But you know it's when peoplecome up to you and say, ask you,
ask you how you been, and butbefore you could even answer
they're already talking aboutsomething else or you know how
(05:49):
you been doing.
I said you know.
Well, you know I'm here andjust turn around and go.
Earl (05:54):
You know what I'm saying they trick quick to get away
once yeah, they didn't reallywant to ask me that you know, I
don't know.
Zack (06:00):
Well, I probably hey, that's just a normal thing to
say yeah.
Bucky (06:04):
When you see somebody like hey, what are you doing?
How are you doing, Earl?
And that you know.
Sometimes you don't want toknow, but you say that that's
just how we greet people.
Zack (06:11):
I can understand how you feel that shit, that you know
what I'm not.
I love everybody that asked meabout it, but you know the best
thing for people to stop doingis just don't ask me about it.
Yeah, don't ask me how I'vebeen.
Uh don't ask me, you know,because uh don't make me lie to
you.
Earl (06:30):
I mean I can lie to you right.
I know it's hard to say, ohgreat, wonderful, I'm doing fine
, or even anything, any of thefine.
Zack (06:36):
You don't ask me no questions.
I won't tell you no lies.
I mean, it's hard to be honest.
Yeah, shit, you know somepeople you got to act like
you're strong for so they don'tfall in a rabbit hole, true.
But uh, yeah, true, aggravationis just it's building up.
I guess it could still matterbetter right now, but uh, it's
(06:57):
uh.
You know, it'd probably help ifI talked to somebody about it
besides us but I'm not gonnahappen.
Bucky (07:03):
yeah, well, that's more than nothing.
Yeah you can.
I mean, it's a different thing,Well, there's different people
to talk to.
Zack (07:11):
I mean y'all are great.
I mean, because y'all say this,I mean I can't even imagine,
you know, and it's just youdon't want to.
You know, because you got toreally think about it, man.
Here, you got to really thinkabout it, man.
Here's my deal, here's mydilemma.
My dilemma is this that notonly did I lose both my children
, I lost my future, my, you know, because most people have kids
(07:36):
and their kids have kids.
You get to see your grandkidsand you get to raise your
grandkids better, you do youryour own kids and then you have
your kids that take care of you.
When you get old, I'm gonna beone of them.
That's an old corner, you know,and got shit because you know a
damn string going this way Iain't never gonna have any money
, uh.
So you know, you know what I'msaying and money.
Bucky (07:55):
I mean money about money, but it does help.
It does help, but the thing is,you gotta have something.
I know, so you know what I'msaying who's gonna who's?
Zack (08:03):
but think about it, man, I know.
So you know what I'm saying.
Who's going to?
But think about it, man.
My parents will be gone, youknow.
And then who am I supposed toexpect to?
Who's going to come check on mewhen maybe they ain't see me in
a couple of days?
Earl (08:15):
Yeah, yeah, well, I don't know, you don't know that too.
You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know that's anexpectation.
Zack (08:23):
But I mean as far as, Because when I get old y'all are
going to be older than me, soy'all are.
You know what I'm saying.
Earl (08:26):
You know what I mean?
I'm just kidding, but you knowwhat I mean.
Well, we never can believewhatever somebody tells our
future to be, in a way.
I mean, I'm not saying.
Zack (08:33):
I need to die young.
Well listen, but I need to, youknow I'm not saying that.
Earl (08:43):
Well, that's probably why you won't.
Bucky (08:43):
I'm not saying kill me.
Zack (08:45):
Exactly, but I'm saying that I don't want to.
If I live to be 65, I'm goingto be a mad Bleep.
That out.
Chris Love, I'm going to be mad.
I mean, people want to livelong lives when they have shit
to live for.
I suppose.
Bucky (09:03):
I mean that's yeah yeah yeah, and you can't.
Zack (09:04):
It is the truth, man.
When and when you really ain'tgot, you can have all the money
in the world if you ain't gotnobody to spend that shit with.
Yeah, you know it's.
It's just a, it's a, it's aterrible realization like see
what it's it's.
It's a terrible thing to have torealize that, hey, man,
everything that you know whenthey were, when my kids were
(09:26):
alive, it's.
I didn't think enough aboutwhat I was living for.
I was always music, or you know, or something.
You know what I'm saying livingfor another day but instead of
future.
In a way, you thought there wasa different future I mean, if I
could have, if I could have themback there, well them back.
Their lives would not even beclose to the same.
I mean it would be so, so muchdifferent.
(09:48):
So I mean I'll sing atanybody's funeral.
If I had a concert to go play,or somebody asked me to do, I
would do a funeral.
It's an honor, but I just can'thardly sit at home.
Earl (10:05):
Yeah Well, there's different kinds of funerals, too
Like.
Zack (10:09):
I said that wasn't a bad one.
Earl (10:10):
I mean, no, that's what I mean, Like I said, that's the
thing that bothered you, thoughhe did live a long life and he
had all these things, yeah hehad a great life, for whatever.
Bucky (10:25):
I ain't saying why there's different people.
He was blessed beyond hisBeyond measure.
Yeah, I mean he had.
I believe.
Earl (10:28):
Yeah, I think so in a lot of ways.
Yeah, because a lot of.
How many people?
Zack (10:31):
Married 60 years.
Oh, he's kind of suddensurprised.
That's the way to go.
Earl (10:40):
Fucking tomorrow 60,.
That was crazy.
Bucky (10:42):
That is crazy yeah, but that's you know.
But yeah, no, the way it passed.
Earl (10:44):
Yeah, as far as not looking at it coming at you for
five, ten years.
Zack (10:47):
I don't want that at all.
And being sick going downhill.
So I mean I try to find thingsto look forward to.
So you know, that's why I saidthat I don't want to be famous.
I want to write something or dosomething where everybody
remembers the girls for.
But the thing is, or I need tohave a purpose.
Bucky (11:10):
Oh, you got purpose, come on, no Well hey, I wrote this
down earlier.
Earl (11:15):
You can't just immediately know that Because there's
something I heard at that.
Bucky (11:18):
It's like we all, we don't want to be remembered.
We just don't want to beforgotten.
Zack (11:24):
That's exactly right.
Bucky (11:26):
You know, I remember me and Earl you was talking about
that Like, yeah, we don't wantto be remembered, we just don't
want to be forgotten.
And the same way we like to say, Zach, with your girls.
Earl (11:35):
Yeah.
Bucky (11:37):
You know you don't want them forgotten, because other
people you're never going toforget, because they're yours,
you're the closest, but otherpeople forget.
Oh shit, yeah, you know what Imean.
Earl (11:51):
Or you forget certain things.
Yeah, they just forget.
Zack (11:52):
Like, oh, that yeah, okay, so I have a defense mechanism
because even before, just fromloss okay or anything if
something that hurts me, I willblock that shit out, and so it
is.
It's a it's a self it's a selfdefense mode and so because if
(12:23):
it hurts you constantly, yourmind will start fucking looking
for ways to block that shit out.
So you start to lose a littlebit of things you know.
It's like you know exactly whatthey sounded like or smelled,
or you know.
So now it's been long enough.
Now that shit's just going toFading away.
(12:43):
Fading away, yep.
Bucky (12:46):
That's what happens over time with people thoughts,
memories and you know that'swhat I wrote.
I wrote that down like we don'tremember, we just don't want to
be forgotten.
So how do we, how do we do that?
How do we try to not beforgotten?
Zack (13:03):
well, I mean, it's why some people, some people want to
be stars, right.
Bucky (13:10):
That's how they want to be remembered.
They want to be so big, likewhen you say their name.
Zack (13:15):
Michael Jordan.
Bucky (13:16):
Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan, everybody knows.
Zack (13:19):
Michael Jordan, for sure, everybody, michael.
Bucky (13:22):
Jackson Michael.
Zack (13:23):
Jordan, yeah, so that's how some people want to do all
that to not be forgotten.
Bucky (13:24):
You know everybody, michael Jackson, michael Jordan,
yeah, I mean.
So that's how some people wantto do all that to not be
forgotten.
You know, look at.
Zack (13:29):
Babe Ruth.
You see what I'm saying.
She'll never be forgotten.
Bucky (13:33):
Or they want to do something that changes the world
.
But people here in ChillicotheTexas Chillicothe, texas are
going to be forgotten.
When they're gone, maybe theirfamily lives on, or part of
their family, like you gotten.
When they're gone, well, maybetheir family lives on or part of
their family, like you know,all our families are here, so
you know, when our parents aregone, are we going to be the
(13:54):
family that carries on and whatare we going to do here?
That's there's.
That's another thing, you seewhat I'm saying, that's another
thing that I get pissed off.
Zack (14:03):
You know what I'm saying and get mad about you know it's
just.
Yeah, I'll be.
You know that's just what it is.
Earl (14:10):
That's your head thinking about it, though that's a
fucking.
Zack (14:13):
Yeah.
Earl (14:13):
I mean that's hard to get away from, but no you can't get
away from it yeah, but youwouldn't have thought you'd be
in a situation like this.
You couldn't conceive thatbefore you couldn't conceive
that before.
Zack (14:23):
Oh no, you know what I mean.
But the thing is, you knowthat's not necessarily true
either, because I'm going totell you right now, I had a
dream about it.
I mean years before it happened.
It's like a fear.
There is a fear, yeah, butthere's a difference between
(14:47):
fear and you know there's aconstant fear and then there's a
uh.
Wake you up middle night dream.
Yeah, and my mom is my mom,isn't?
My mom used to wake me up inthe middle night and say
something's wrong with your dad,get dressed and wait for the
telephone call.
I mean, that is no shit.
So, uh, it's uh.
Uh.
You start thinking about shit.
You could have done differentAll sorts of shit you never stop
(15:08):
.
Earl (15:08):
Yeah, that's right.
I never thought there's no end,so here's the deal.
Zack (15:13):
No, I just need to just say all that shit.
I ain't trying to say that andshit or to get everybody to
listen to.
You know this old, sad Look atthis mother, listen to this
fucking cry baby.
Yeah, you know.
You know what I mean.
I ain't trying to be, andthat's the one thing you don't
want to be remembered for.
Oh, you walk in Because I canwalk in Walmart and people look
at you like damn.
(15:33):
Same way I would look at lostboth his kids.
I'd be like God damn it, don'tlook, don't, look, don't say
yeah, yeah ain't nothing like it.
Ain't nothing like it.
No, that's yeah.
I've been stuck.
(15:53):
I've been stuck right.
That's aggravating the shit outof me too well that's the word
ain't stuck.
Yeah, it's a place that you'restuck.
I'm trying.
I can't get away from writingsad shit or writing about that,
it's just.
Bucky (16:05):
But hey, me and Earl, okay.
So we thought about this, thefuneral, and it's like man, it
was tough and it would have beenway cooler if you was up there
playing them songs.
But hey what?
(16:26):
I always start thinking howabout we ask Zach to play them
when he comes tonight?
Because when you play songslike that, I feel like it does
change the mood.
I think it changes your mood.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, you knowwhat I mean.
Zack (16:45):
I really think, if you play that, are you still going
to be as mad?
I mean?
Bucky (16:49):
I don't know.
I don't know, I'm asking.
That's why I'm asking.
Zack (16:52):
I actually have a song that when I get mad I usually
and it's a hymn that I usuallyplay.
Bucky (17:03):
Yeah, so sometimes do you do.
I mean, you've got to findsomething that helps the
smallest amount, whether it be adrink, I mean.
I'm just saying a pill.
I mean, you know like we've gotto take vitamins, because you
know you drink as much as I do.
You've got to take vitamins.
That's what I'm saying.
(17:23):
Like we're deficient on somethings.
So in our old age we getdeficient in these certain
chemicals in our bodies and thenwe just go crashing down.
Zack (17:36):
You know, that amazing grace, my chains are gone, that
I do.
Bucky (17:41):
Yeah.
Zack (17:42):
You know I made that.
I took that song and made itthat well, we was talking about
that.
Bucky (17:47):
Your mom and dad did that too on a couple versions of
different songs back in the dayyeah, I was sitting in the.
Zack (17:55):
I was sitting in the shop with my brother, my brother
shane, and started playing.
Of course it's a littledifferent now than it was when I
did it well, you have to go,but uh yeah, it is a that's it's
powerful.
Bucky (18:11):
I mean, that is powerful yeah, and that's why I was like
I told her.
I said I'm asking to play it orsomething, something.
Because I mean like say, itdon't matter what kind of mood
you're in, I feel like it liftsyour spirits.
Well, it does.
I mean that's all it does,there's no way around it.
I mean, when you go to churchsometimes that's how you feel.
Zack (18:32):
Go to a P Diddy party.
Bucky (18:34):
Well, your spirits don't get lifted.
Zack (18:36):
You get taken down, spirits get pulled down.
Bucky (18:40):
You forget about them, spirits, because you don't see
nothing.
Earl (18:43):
Oh boy.
Bucky (18:44):
It's dark in there in the P Diddy party.
You might hear somebody, butyou'll never see nobody yeah you
don't know who it is back there, but somebody's back there.
Yeah, I'd be screaming.
Zack (18:57):
Who's back?
there.
Bucky (18:58):
Oh man, Get off from back there.
Zack (19:00):
You know how many people woke up from a P Diddy party and
said man, I had the worst dream.
I turned around and looked andrealized they're still there.
Bucky (19:05):
I had the worst dream.
You turn around and look andrealize they're still there.
Yeah, like damn it, that isjust what I imagined.
Oh goodness Boy, I'm glad Inever was one of them.
Zack (19:12):
Uh-uh Woo.
They wouldn't have to worryabout recording me, I would
record it myself.
This is my Uncle, jake, whichcould play anything what's his
favorite song is probably one ofmy favorite songs, for sure.
Bucky (19:27):
It's going to be everybody's favorite after you
play it.
That's nice.
Zack (19:42):
Well, I'm so tired and so weary.
But I must go along to the Lord.
He calls me away to where themorning's so bright and the lamb
is the light and the night isas fair as the day, the night is
(20:18):
as fair as the day and there'llbe peace in the valley for me
someday.
There'll be peace in thisvalley for me, lord.
I pray there'll be no sadness,no sorrows, no troubles.
I'll see There'll be peace inthis valley for me, where the
bear will be gentle and thewolves.
(20:41):
They'll be tame and the lionshall lay by the land, and the
lion shall lay by the lamb, andthen the beast from the wild Be
led by a child and I'll bechanged From this creature that
I am and there'll be peace inthe valley For me someday.
(21:09):
There'll be peace in thisvalley for me, lord, I pray
There'll be no sadness, nosorrows, no troubles.
I'll see, there'll be peace inthis valley for me.
There'll be no sadness, nosorrows, no troubles.
(21:35):
I'll see, cause there'll bepeace in this valley for me,
lord, for me Someday.
For me, lord, for me someday.
Earl (21:57):
You can play that one at my funeral too.
Bucky (21:59):
Yeah, damn right, that's a good one, wow.
Zack (22:02):
Yeah.
Bucky (22:04):
What a yes, sir.
That was pretty good.
Can't go wrong with music.
I did hear some feedbacks.
Every time you pick up thatguitar, it's like oh, on the
yeah Podcast.
Yeah, you know, music doesstuff to people.
Zack (22:26):
Might have to get away from.
This one Got to be too hard onit, too hot.
This one Got to be too hard onhim, too hot on him.
He said be too hard on him.
What, yeah, he took that 16-daypill.
Bucky (22:38):
Wait four hours you want to get on the stool.
What do you want?
Zack (22:41):
to do this will be hard.
I just don't need those.
Yeah, this is.
I have a.
I have a list of people thatare supposed to sing at their
funeral.
Bucky (22:53):
Just because this song right here no, I probably wanted
that mine then they want to doit too, though I don't even care
what mine do, that won't.
It won't matter, I'll be.
I liked it, make it work.
Zack (23:07):
It sounded good to me so the waves in grace, how sweet
(23:32):
the sound that saved a wretchlike me, like me, cause I once
(23:54):
Was lost.
But now.
Well, I'm found and I was blind.
But, now.
Well, I see.
It was grace that taught myheart to fear, to fear and grace
(24:28):
my fear relieved.
How precious did he get?
That grace appeared near him.
(24:49):
That grace appeared the hour Ifirst believed.
My chains are gone and I'vebeen set free.
(25:11):
My Lord, my Savior.
He's ransomed me Like a floodHis mercy, rains, unending love,
(25:41):
amazing grace.
And when we've been there tenthousand years, bright, shining
(26:08):
and the sun, there's no lessdays To sing God's praise.
Then, when we first Begone, asmy chains Are gone and I've been
(26:45):
Set free, lord, my and I'vebeen set free, lord, my Savior.
He's ransomed me Like a flood.
His mercy, rains, unending love, amazing grace.
(27:22):
And like a flood, his mercy andlight the floor.
His mercy reigns, unending love, amazing grace, amazing grace.
(27:55):
How sweet the sound.
Bucky (28:12):
Yeah, hell yeah, badass.
You can play that at my funeraltwice if you want.
I don't give a damn.
Yes, that's a good one.
Yes, sir, yep man, I feel that,oh yeah, gotta you got to.
Zack (28:33):
You don't feel that you ain't alive yeah, uh, don't ask
me how I've been hey, you should.
Bucky (28:39):
Uh, you got a song about that, don't you?
Maybe I'm trying to.
Zack (28:43):
I just can't, I can't do it oh, yeah, you have.
Bucky (28:45):
Yeah, you can't get it out, or what you can't get it
out.
Zack (28:47):
It's like being constipated.
You can't get that hey, I gotpills for that, oh well I've
been down, found the bottom ofeverybody in this town and it
feels like there ain't no moreangels around.
(29:14):
So you can ask me if you thinkyou wanna hear what I have to
say.
Just don't ask me how I feel.
And that's right back to thatold sad shit, you know.
Bucky (29:31):
Right.
Well, yeah, you're right.
Yeah, it ain't hard to getthere now.
Zack (29:37):
Y'all probably haven't even heard this song.
And this song, man, I'm tellingyou, right now this song.
I should sell this motherfucker.
Bucky (29:44):
Hey, you can sell it.
Sell it, bro.
Sell it, it might be coming younever know you never know.
Zack (30:00):
You need to stop right there.
You're not the the only one.
I felt that way, too.
You need to think about whatyou're gonna say, cause trust me
, baby words bruise too.
(30:21):
So why'd you have to go insane?
You wish you would've stayed,set my rain on fire.
That's falling on me right now.
(30:47):
That's falling on me right now.
You've got me burning with adesire, a desire to put you out,
cause you set my rain on fire.
You need to stop right there.
(31:13):
You're not the only one.
I felt that way, too.
Need to think about what you'regonna say, cause trust me, baby
words bruise too.
(31:33):
So why'd you have to go insane?
You wish you would've stayed.
It's like you set this rain onfire that's falling on me right
(31:57):
now.
You've got me burning with adesire, a desire to put you out,
cause you set my rain on fire.
Bucky (32:28):
Oh dude man.
Zack (32:29):
I wrote a song that was so sad, dude.
I changed the song up, dude,and wrote a song that I need to
put out on July 4th.
It's called Daddy's Go to War.
But the original song was sad,dude, I was too sad, I didn't
even want to do it.
Bucky (32:42):
Yeah, you had to.
Zack (32:50):
But you got to get right there.
Well, he got his own worst dayand it nearly broke his heart.
The sad thing is he knew theworst was yet to come.
So when he had to go home andtell his little girls that he's
(33:20):
got to go to a foreign land,it'll break his heart to see
them cry and it'll tear him upinside.
It's something he's got to do.
He hopes they understand,because daddy's going to war.
(33:41):
Daddy's going to war.
Then he thinks of how his dadDid two tours of Vietnam but he
(34:03):
never got to come back home.
But he knew he was a hero Causehe died for his country and God.
But he'll never forget theman's last words.
He said Sometimes you gottalose so you can win.
(34:26):
Stand up and be a man and fightfor those who can't defend
themselves.
Times you gotta lose so you canwin.
Times you gotta lose so you canwin.
Stand up and be a man and fightfor those who can't defend
(34:51):
themselves.
Sometimes you gotta give toreceive.
You see, this price of freedomain't free.
Something I've gotta do, don'tyou understand?
Your daddy's going to war.
(35:12):
Your daddy's going to war.
And before he boards the plane,well, he kisses them one last
time, wipes away their tears andsays please don't cry.
(35:33):
Sometimes you gotta lose so youcan win.
Stand up and be a man and fightfor those who can't defend
themselves.
Sometimes you gotta give toreceive.
You see, this price of freedomain't free.
(35:56):
There's something we've gottado.
Hope you understand, causedaddy's going to war, daddy's
going to war, your daddy's goingto war.
(36:20):
Sometimes you gotta give,sometimes you gotta give.
You gotta give, you gotta give.
Sometimes you gotta give toreceive.
You see, this price of freedomain't free.
It's something we've gotta do,please understand, cause daddy's
(36:45):
going to war and daddy's goingto war.
In the back of that motherfuckerI used to have, the solo was
(37:08):
Star Spangled Banner.
Oh yeah.
It's a whole lot better when youcan remember the whole thing at
one time.
Bucky (37:22):
Yeah, I like that one Like them.
All Got to give to receivesometimes, right?
Yep, no man, that shit put youin the mood, though I ain't
gonna lie.
It just kind of In the mood,not that kind of mood.
I didn't take a pill, I wasjust saying I wrote songs, man,
(37:45):
because I come home and gotnothing.
Zack (37:47):
She's mad as s*** that, so I wrote a song about her.
Bucky (37:50):
About her or, yeah, about the whole situation.
Earl (37:53):
Yeah.
Zack (37:54):
And then I wrote another song because she's mad as f***.
Bucky (37:57):
Sounds like you got a lot of them.
Zack (37:59):
Yeah, I come home at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning.
Bucky (38:02):
That sometimes will get you in trouble.
Zack (38:23):
You always find a way To put me in my place and I get mad
and say there's things thatdon't mean any way.
Just like the time I told you Idon't care if you stay, don't
care if you stay.
(38:43):
So, hey baby, let's not fighttonight.
Hey baby, we can make thisright.
Put down that old suitcase andlet me take you back to the
(39:08):
place where we first met and tothe time you can't forget let's
do more.
Hey baby, I said hey baby.
Hey baby, I said hey baby.
(39:34):
I know that our lives havechanged, but we can get back to
that place when we were youngand in love.
Nothing stood in our way.
Just like the time your old mansaid there ain't no downgrade.
(39:54):
Then we ran away.
So, hey baby, let's not fighttonight.
Hey baby, let's do them all.
(40:15):
Hey baby short version I saidhey baby.
(40:51):
P Diddy Party.
Bucky (40:52):
P Diddy Party.
Zack (40:57):
So if you want to think, y'all can write, help me out
with several songs, let's see, Ithink I'll hop a train and I'll
look back and maybe buy a planeticket to where you're at,
whatever it'll take, baby, justto get to you, cause there's
(41:39):
nothing but miles between us.
That ain't gonna stop me now.
That ain't gonna stop me now.
I even slap a kid off his truck.
I don't know.
I can't fucking think about this, I'll even ride with a serial
(41:59):
killer.
I thought about that when Isaid that truck.
Bucky (42:02):
That's pretty good I was.
Earl (42:06):
I was on my way to this killer guy.
Zack (42:08):
Oh, now with a, with a, with a pulled pork sandwich on
my mind, I'm coming across thislittle bitty old place right
past the Deku County line.
He said come on in.
My name is Bucky.
He tried to sell me a nut, abuck nut.
He said you know, I got a bucknut, I got a squirrel nut.
(42:29):
I got something squirrely inside.
Come on, charlie.
Squirrely buck nuts, come on in.
Earl (42:32):
I got buck nuts, I got like squirrely and so on.
Zack (42:33):
Come on, charlie, squirrely button nuts.
Earl (42:34):
Come on, nuts, squirrely button nuts.
Zack (42:35):
Come on in, I got button nuts for all sorts of people Got
squirrely button nuts, gotregular button nuts, got fucking
calf button nuts.
Bucky (42:44):
We just got nuts.
Zack (42:45):
Got nuts.
It's like a.
What is that old Amajcommercial?
Bucky (42:49):
Oh, come on, come on.
Earl (42:54):
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Zack (42:55):
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Bucky (42:57):
There you go.
Zack (42:57):
Sometimes you don't Bullshit.
Oh man, george got nuts.
I caught a ride with a serialkiller one time.
He said I take you to get agood place to eat.
Bucky (43:08):
Right past the DQ County line.
Earl (43:12):
I know it's going to be my last meal.
Serial killer, I took me one ofthem pills and I was part of a
county heart.
He said take this.
He said take this.
Zack (43:17):
I didn't know what you were talking about.
Bucky (43:19):
Take this pill and shove it.
Zack (43:22):
He said next thing I know I roofied myself.
Bucky (43:29):
Ended up at my own P Diddy party.
Zack (43:31):
Oh, I guess that's about it.
Bucky (43:34):
Ended up making my own P Diddy party.
Oh, good story about that shit.
Ended up making a.
Earl (43:39):
P Diddy party.
Did you know it was too late bythe time you knew it?
Zack (43:42):
Yeah, I said Margaret don't look, but it was too late.
He done run through the frozenfood, taking the croakers.
Yeah they call him the street.
Fast thing on two feet.
I remember you said that albumFucking over and over Bruce.
Stevens.
Hell yeah, he said, corey, howdid you get that Harley Up on
that high dive boy?
Harley up on high dive?
(44:03):
That's a Johnny Hendrix thingright there.
I can see Johnny HendrixPutting Harley on high dive.
Hey Me and Earl.
I love Johnny.
D Was my bud.
When I was a kid the mistakeswe made when we was kids.
Sometimes you only get to makeone of them.
Bucky (44:23):
Yeah, what'd I have you write down.
Earl (44:25):
Oh, you want me to write what down?
No, what I had you write downearlier, before Zach got here.
Bucky (44:28):
Remember, I told you to write down that no, no, no, no,
no, oh all that shit Much of itOne down.
Zack (44:34):
No, no, no, no no.
Oh, all that shit One day.
Bucky (44:37):
Gone.
Yep, that's what I wrote downthat earlier.
We don't know how much time wehave left.
Earl (44:47):
No, Talk about day minute to minute.
Bucky (44:50):
We might not make it tomorrow.
May not make it.
If you may not make it, if youwait, it's too late.
We talked about that.
If you wait, it's too late, Idon't know.
Zack (45:11):
I want you to know.
I thought I'd see you tonight,but you're too damn stubborn.
To see wrong from right.
(45:31):
So where did you go?
You've been here all of my life.
I guess it got too hot and youjust couldn't handle the fire.
But you're not the first toknow and you won't be the last.
(45:59):
There's a long list ofhas-beens Waiting down at the
pass.
So when you figure it out.
I'm not white trash.
(46:21):
They won't let you on thistrain that I'm on.
It'll be moving too fast.
It was 1992.
Well, I promised her the world.
(46:45):
She promised me the moon, butshe couldn't take in my life and
the drugs.
So she listened to the voices,packed her bags and headed back
(47:07):
home.
But she's not the first, youknow, and she won't be the last.
There's a long list ofhas-beens.
Waiting down at the pass.
(47:33):
So when you figure it out.
I'm not white trash.
They won't let you on thistrain that I'm on.
They'll be moving too fast.
Earl (47:54):
Brandon Ryder.
Brandon Ryder, well, you editeda verse moving too fast.
Zack (47:58):
Brandon Ryder.
Brandon Ryder, well, you addeda verse, you customized it.
It's the same thing I do withBrandon Ryder was a bad son of a
bitch.
Bucky (48:05):
Yeah, that's old.
He wasn't around all that long,right, that's when he was
younger.
Zack (48:10):
When I met him he was a fucking I'll tell you who else
is a douchebag dude, and that isoh, he's real popular.
He's still popular.
His parents are a lawyer, Justname somebody.
Bucky (48:24):
Donahue, yeah, casey.
Zack (48:26):
Donahue oh yeah, casey Donahue.
His band was, so I opened upfor him.
His band was, so I opened upfor him.
His band was so fucking cooldude.
Earl (48:34):
His dad was a lawyer and shit Both of them.
Yeah, what's Randy Rogers was?
Zack (48:38):
His dad was a preacher and his mom was a school teacher or
some shit.
Randy Rogers, bad motherfucker,yes.
Earl (48:42):
Yeah, but I mean that's what he's got some.
He was a.
His dad was a preacher dude.
He writes all that shit.
Hey, how many instruments doeshe play On the recordings?
He plays all that shit.
His live band is not even whathe records with he's got a
songwriting deal.
Where he has to, he plays thefiddle and all that shit he's
got to put out so many songs aweek Does he?
Zack (49:03):
Yeah, but he plays all them fucking instruments on the
bus because he opened up for himat this deal for the ranch Wade
Bowen.
Earl (49:13):
Wade Bowen.
Yeah, yeah, but no, randyRogers is like rats.
I mean all the different piecesof music for the different
instruments and shit.
Bucky (49:22):
Well, you know, it is basketball.
Bad time Drinking, yeah.
Earl (49:27):
That's when you drink all day 10.
Bucky (49:30):
From the start In the AMs .
Yeah, that funeral, funeralit's hard.
I know it was man.
Zack (49:37):
That's why I don't like going to any but I don't like
going to any of them, but no, Ijust want to go to mine.
That's about it.
The next one I want to go to ismine on the wall.
Earl (49:51):
I didn't want, I'd probably be two people, I don't
care.
Zack (49:54):
Yeah, I don't have to be that I mean I, I mean I would
care if I was still alive, butbeing that I'd be dead, I won't
care.
But uh, I'll be where I want tobe, but if, but if everybody
y'all know ain't there, I'mgonna be a mad son bitch if I
ever have to come back ony'all's bitch asses.
No, I just you know, then Ithink sometimes I think you know
my girls, my girls.
(50:14):
Did either one of y'all even goto the funeral?
Earl (50:16):
Yeah, oh, y'all did go.
Zack (50:17):
Yeah, I don't remember.
Bucky (50:19):
I ain't never seen so many, I had to stand up.
Zack (50:21):
I'd never seen so many people.
Bucky (50:23):
I was, me and Anthony.
Zack (50:23):
We were standing up by the door, you know, there was the
signing books.
Two complete signing books werecompletely full.
Earl (50:32):
Yeah, probably a lot of people didn't sign in.
Zack (50:36):
Yeah, and you know that gym that holds fire limits is
like 1,500.
Seating 1,500.
Yeah, it was way full.
It was like way more than that.
Yeah, you know, there waspeople there that I didn't ever
think would be there, andthere's people that weren't
there that I thought would havebeen there.
Bucky (50:54):
That's a funeral.
Yeah, like I say, some peoplecan't handle them.
Oh, that was terrible.
That's why some people are justlike hell.
No, yeah, yeah, that was man,that was.
I mean, drapes was pretty damnrough too, man, man.
Zack (51:15):
That's the only thing, that's the worse, you know what
I don't know.
Earl (51:19):
You don't want to see more than one casket.
No, anytime there's more thanone, yeah that's.
Bucky (51:23):
I mean, yeah, one is bad enough, you start adding numbers
bro.
That's so oh yeah, Hell yeahwhen he told me to hurry up
Today.
Zack (51:32):
No, at the funeral.
Bucky (51:33):
Oh.
Zack (51:34):
Because I pushed the caskets out.
Earl (51:35):
Not today.
Bucky (51:35):
I pushed the caskets out.
I think he passed away.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Zack (51:47):
And he told me for one thing, but still, it don't make
up for it yeah.
Saturday, I started drinkingabout 10 o'clock this morning
Went to a funeral with myfriends there.
My friends there Hit hard.
(52:10):
Knocked me down, so I.
Thought I'd hit it hard back.
Now I don't make Much senseWasting away again In an
abandoned hospital InChillicothe, Texas.
(52:31):
It's not Margaritaville.
Bucky (52:34):
But it's haunted.
Zack (52:35):
But it's haunted.
That makes up for it, don't ityeah?
If I get tired of being hauntedby these people, I'll just go
down to Luz Barbecue and eat abuck nut.
You really shouldn't have leftthat in that deal.
(52:55):
Dude, what you might not,Somebody listening to that
podcast is probably never goingto eat another buck nut again.
I thought about that afterbecause it was funny.
Bucky (53:03):
Yeah, I was okay with it.
Zack (53:05):
Because when I said, you know, you just sit back there
laughing your ass off every timesomebody orders one, I thought,
oh man, damn, they're going tobe looking.
Bucky (53:12):
Yeah, they're going to be listening.
Now they're going to be wantingthem more.
Yeah, hopefully, hopefully, Ihope I hope Some of them damn
buck nuts they talking about.
For some reason no femalesnever come in that movie.
(53:37):
It's probably that pill he took.
Tonight.
We're going to say goodbye forthe Be Easy podcast and we will
be talking to you soon, butuntil then, I'm Bucky, this is
Earl, I'm Zach.
Zack (53:45):
We are the Be Easy podcast and we will see you later.
And I had to take a step backCause, I swear I didn't
recognize my own face.
So I asked that man there in themirror, just how he ended up
(54:07):
this way and with the cry in hisvoice and the tear in his eyes.
I heard every word the man hadto say.
He said I lost my wife and Icouldn't stop getting high and
(54:30):
the lights caught up with me andwhen she left she took the only
thing that meant anything to me, and with those baby blue eyes
and that smile that's mine.
(54:53):
This year she turned three.
You better grab ahold ofsomething, for something grabs
ahold of you and don't ask aquestion If you can't take the
truth, cause I'm just areflection of you.
(55:14):
He said I'm just a reflectionof you.
Oh Lord, well, I could see thedesperation in his eyes.
(55:41):
Each deep breath it took forhim to breathe and every word he
said hit home with me.
I felt like a blind man couldnow see.
And then, the more I stared,the more I realized that the man
(56:05):
standing there in front of me,hell, he was just a reflection
of me.
I said just a reflection of me,me, you see, I lost my wife.
(56:30):
I couldn't stop getting highand the lights caught up with me
, and when she left she took theonly thing that meant anything
to me, and with those baby blueeyes and that smile that's mine.
(56:56):
This year she turned three.
You better grab a hold ofsomething close, something,
rather hold you.
I said it might be a reflectionof you.
(57:54):
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh
, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh, for
the first time in a long timetoday.
And I had to take a step backCause, I swear, I didn't
recognize my own fate.
And with those baby blue eyes and that smile that's mine.
This year, well, she turnedthree.
You better grab a hold ofsomething, oh something, rather,
hold you and don't ask aquestion if you can't take the
(00:23):
truth, cause it might be aquestion, and you can't take the
truth Because it might be areflection of you.
I said it might be a reflectionof you Coming to.
Bucky (00:38):
You live from the old, abandoned Chillicothe Hospital
in Chillicothe, texas, are werecording.
Zack (00:45):
Yeah, Okay so this is the B the.
E and the Z coming to you froman abandoned haunted hospital,
so we went to a funeral today.
Bucky (01:01):
Yeah.
Zack (01:02):
That was I know man, that was terrible.
Bucky (01:04):
I mean, it wasn't terrible.
No, I mean, I know, man, thatwas.
Zack (01:06):
Yeah, I mean, it wasn't terrible.
No, I mean, you know it wasyeah but uh, uh, man, the
funerals don't do me right, youknow if I'm not singing it one
day because I can sing it.
I can sing it anybody's, Idon't care hey sing it mine.
Bucky (01:21):
I will, if I'm right, we talked about that man, but.
But the thing is I want you atmine for sure.
Zack (01:27):
I can block myself, I can block it out.
Yeah, I mean, I just can do itwhen it's just music.
Bucky (01:33):
But if I have to sit there it's man, you can play a
whole concert at mine.
Zack (01:38):
Dude, you can play like four songs, I'll be all right.
You tell them my leg wasbouncing, boy, I'm telling you
right now I know, I know, I know, it was tough.
It ain't that man.
Bucky (01:50):
No, it is man yeah.
Zack (01:53):
But you know, it's like when they go, he was preceded in
death by, or he preceded indeath to, you know, talk about
all his kids and grandkids andall that shit and how he loved
his grandkids and all that stuff.
It's a great thing and he did.
Don't get me wrong, but I justget so mad, yeah, I mean, I get
(02:15):
mad, I get angry, I get angry atGod, I mean, but there's no
reason to be angry at God, Imean but there's no reason.
But I mean I get angry and I'vebeen letting it go.
I mean I mean you know Ishouldn't, it shouldn't be that
way.
But especially, you know I'm100 percent, I'm 100 percenter.
(02:38):
You know it is what it is.
I believe, I believe 100percent, so, but I'm still for
me to be somebody that can saythat I'm a hundred percent and
that I mean that's one of thequestions I'll ask you is do you
believe in god?
You know, when I first meet you, you know what I'm saying.
Uh, it's all about how manysouls you can bring to you know,
(02:59):
it's what we're here for.
But for me to be that way andthat to happen, man, it's like a
Still going to have a personalstruggle.
Earl (03:11):
Yeah, you know what I'm saying.
Bucky (03:12):
Yeah, you can help somebody else easily but
yourself.
Zack (03:15):
It's always harder.
Earl (03:16):
Because you have that feeling of anger, jealousy, like
you say.
Those are human.
I mean it's a matter of well,kind of like not dealing with,
but not even like distractingand putting it out of your head.
Like you said, there's stillother ways.
Hey, that works for a while,don't it For a minute?
But I mean there's also otherthings to move on.
(03:37):
In a way, I mean none of thewords fit it.
You know I'm a firm believer.
Zack (03:42):
I'm a firm believer.
I'm a firm believer, so I mean,it's like you know that, how
you gonna let that, how yougonna do that, let that, allow
that to happen to me well, Ithink some people aren't even
gonna say that you know what Imean.
Earl (03:53):
Some people just gonna twist off and just let you know
what I mean you know.
Zack (03:56):
But what I'm saying, that's how I mean, that's me
right now, that's how I feel.
That's what I'm angry about.
Earl (04:01):
I'm angry about but you're coming back to that base.
Like you say you don't got that, you already know something
different.
Like you say it's just hard tofind that spot personally.
Well, I mean.
Zack (04:09):
I'm good if I'm talking about him, but it's just the
night I have time to sit there,have to be quiet and listen to.
Yeah, you know it's envy,jealousy, it's a bunch of things
.
You know it's anger, uh, andthat's my go-to in this, you
know it's not.
Yeah, anything that makes meeven cry, it makes me mad, you
know what I'm saying so.
(04:30):
Uh, it's just, it's a situationand I know I'm not the only
mother out there that's had aloss like that and feels like
they got the raw end of the dealand you know how could this
happen.
Yeah, but it is a I would notwish it on my worst enemy.
I mean, if we went into warwith somebody, I would not wish
(04:52):
that on my worst enemy.
There's no explaining, there'sno understanding the loss, the
pain, the anger there's, justyou can't explain it.
I mean there's no words for thedaily battle.
I mean it is a daily battle.
Earl (05:14):
Yeah, I mean, oh my God.
Well, it's a constant battle.
Zack (05:17):
I'm sure, and you know, I'm sure people get tired of it.
I don't talk about it muchreally, I just, but you know,
then you have people.
Earl (05:24):
Well, that's because you don't know what to expect from
people, huh.
Zack (05:27):
Oh yeah, some people like will look at you like you're
still upset about that.
You know, or you know, and I'ma.
I punch you right in your mouth.
Say what you're thinking.
You know, that's what I'm, justthey may not even be thinking
that.
You know.
But you know it's when peoplecome up to you and say, ask you,
ask you how you been, and butbefore you could even answer
they're already talking aboutsomething else or you know how
(05:49):
you been doing.
I said you know.
Well, you know I'm here andjust turn around and go.
Earl (05:54):
You know what I'm saying they trick quick to get away
once yeah, they didn't reallywant to ask me that you know, I
don't know.
Zack (06:00):
Well, I probably hey, that's just a normal thing to
say yeah.
Bucky (06:04):
When you see somebody like hey, what are you doing?
How are you doing, Earl?
And that you know.
Sometimes you don't want toknow, but you say that that's
just how we greet people.
Zack (06:11):
I can understand how you feel that shit, that you know
what I'm not.
I love everybody that asked meabout it, but you know the best
thing for people to stop doingis just don't ask me about it.
Yeah, don't ask me how I'vebeen.
Uh don't ask me, you know,because uh don't make me lie to
you.
Earl (06:30):
I mean I can lie to you right.
I know it's hard to say, ohgreat, wonderful, I'm doing fine
, or even anything, any of thefine.
Zack (06:36):
You don't ask me no questions.
I won't tell you no lies.
I mean, it's hard to be honest.
Yeah, shit, you know somepeople you got to act like
you're strong for so they don'tfall in a rabbit hole, true.
But uh, yeah, true, aggravationis just it's building up.
I guess it could still matterbetter right now, but uh, it's
(06:57):
uh.
You know, it'd probably help ifI talked to somebody about it
besides us but I'm not gonnahappen.
Bucky (07:03):
yeah, well, that's more than nothing.
Yeah you can.
I mean, it's a different thing,Well, there's different people
to talk to.
Zack (07:11):
I mean y'all are great.
I mean, because y'all say this,I mean I can't even imagine,
you know, and it's just youdon't want to.
You know, because you got toreally think about it, man.
Here, you got to really thinkabout it, man.
Here's my deal, here's mydilemma.
My dilemma is this that notonly did I lose both my children
, I lost my future, my, you know, because most people have kids
(07:36):
and their kids have kids.
You get to see your grandkidsand you get to raise your
grandkids better, you do youryour own kids and then you have
your kids that take care of you.
When you get old, I'm gonna beone of them.
That's an old corner, you know,and got shit because you know a
damn string going this way Iain't never gonna have any money
, uh.
So you know, you know what I'msaying and money.
Bucky (07:55):
I mean money about money, but it does help.
It does help, but the thing is,you gotta have something.
I know, so you know what I'msaying who's gonna who's?
Zack (08:03):
but think about it, man, I know.
So you know what I'm saying.
Who's going to?
But think about it, man.
My parents will be gone, youknow.
And then who am I supposed toexpect to?
Who's going to come check on mewhen maybe they ain't see me in
a couple of days?
Earl (08:15):
Yeah, yeah, well, I don't know, you don't know that too.
You know what I'm saying.
Yeah, I know that's anexpectation.
Zack (08:23):
But I mean as far as, Because when I get old y'all are
going to be older than me, soy'all are.
You know what I'm saying.
Earl (08:26):
You know what I mean?
I'm just kidding, but you knowwhat I mean.
Well, we never can believewhatever somebody tells our
future to be, in a way.
I mean, I'm not saying.
Zack (08:33):
I need to die young.
Well listen, but I need to, youknow I'm not saying that.
Earl (08:43):
Well, that's probably why you won't.
Bucky (08:43):
I'm not saying kill me.
Zack (08:45):
Exactly, but I'm saying that I don't want to.
If I live to be 65, I'm goingto be a mad Bleep.
That out.
Chris Love, I'm going to be mad.
I mean, people want to livelong lives when they have shit
to live for.
I suppose.
Bucky (09:03):
I mean that's yeah yeah yeah, and you can't.
Zack (09:04):
It is the truth, man.
When and when you really ain'tgot, you can have all the money
in the world if you ain't gotnobody to spend that shit with.
Yeah, you know it's.
It's just a, it's a, it's aterrible realization like see
what it's it's.
It's a terrible thing to have torealize that, hey, man,
everything that you know whenthey were, when my kids were
(09:26):
alive, it's.
I didn't think enough aboutwhat I was living for.
I was always music, or you know, or something.
You know what I'm saying livingfor another day but instead of
future.
In a way, you thought there wasa different future I mean, if I
could have, if I could have themback there, well them back.
Their lives would not even beclose to the same.
I mean it would be so, so muchdifferent.
(09:48):
So I mean I'll sing atanybody's funeral.
If I had a concert to go play,or somebody asked me to do, I
would do a funeral.
It's an honor, but I just can'thardly sit at home.
Earl (10:05):
Yeah Well, there's different kinds of funerals, too
Like.
Zack (10:09):
I said that wasn't a bad one.
Earl (10:10):
I mean, no, that's what I mean, Like I said, that's the
thing that bothered you, thoughhe did live a long life and he
had all these things, yeah hehad a great life, for whatever.
Bucky (10:25):
I ain't saying why there's different people.
He was blessed beyond hisBeyond measure.
Yeah, I mean he had.
I believe.
Earl (10:28):
Yeah, I think so in a lot of ways.
Yeah, because a lot of.
How many people?
Zack (10:31):
Married 60 years.
Oh, he's kind of suddensurprised.
That's the way to go.
Earl (10:40):
Fucking tomorrow 60,.
That was crazy.
Bucky (10:42):
That is crazy yeah, but that's you know.
But yeah, no, the way it passed.
Earl (10:44):
Yeah, as far as not looking at it coming at you for
five, ten years.
Zack (10:47):
I don't want that at all.
And being sick going downhill.
So I mean I try to find thingsto look forward to.
So you know, that's why I saidthat I don't want to be famous.
I want to write something or dosomething where everybody
remembers the girls for.
But the thing is, or I need tohave a purpose.
Bucky (11:10):
Oh, you got purpose, come on, no Well hey, I wrote this
down earlier.
Earl (11:15):
You can't just immediately know that Because there's
something I heard at that.
Bucky (11:18):
It's like we all, we don't want to be remembered.
We just don't want to beforgotten.
Zack (11:24):
That's exactly right.
Bucky (11:26):
You know, I remember me and Earl you was talking about
that Like, yeah, we don't wantto be remembered, we just don't
want to be forgotten.
And the same way we like to say, Zach, with your girls.
Earl (11:35):
Yeah.
Bucky (11:37):
You know you don't want them forgotten, because other
people you're never going toforget, because they're yours,
you're the closest, but otherpeople forget.
Oh shit, yeah, you know what Imean.
Earl (11:51):
Or you forget certain things.
Yeah, they just forget.
Zack (11:52):
Like, oh, that yeah, okay, so I have a defense mechanism
because even before, just fromloss okay or anything if
something that hurts me, I willblock that shit out, and so it
is.
It's a it's a self it's a selfdefense mode and so because if
(12:23):
it hurts you constantly, yourmind will start fucking looking
for ways to block that shit out.
So you start to lose a littlebit of things you know.
It's like you know exactly whatthey sounded like or smelled,
or you know.
So now it's been long enough.
Now that shit's just going toFading away.
(12:43):
Fading away, yep.
Bucky (12:46):
That's what happens over time with people thoughts,
memories and you know that'swhat I wrote.
I wrote that down like we don'tremember, we just don't want to
be forgotten.
So how do we, how do we do that?
How do we try to not beforgotten?
Zack (13:03):
well, I mean, it's why some people, some people want to
be stars, right.
Bucky (13:10):
That's how they want to be remembered.
They want to be so big, likewhen you say their name.
Zack (13:15):
Michael Jordan.
Bucky (13:16):
Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan, everybody knows.
Zack (13:19):
Michael Jordan, for sure, everybody, michael.
Bucky (13:22):
Jackson Michael.
Zack (13:23):
Jordan, yeah, so that's how some people want to do all
that to not be forgotten.
Bucky (13:24):
You know everybody, michael Jackson, michael Jordan,
yeah, I mean.
So that's how some people wantto do all that to not be
forgotten.
You know, look at.
Zack (13:29):
Babe Ruth.
You see what I'm saying.
She'll never be forgotten.
Bucky (13:33):
Or they want to do something that changes the world
.
But people here in ChillicotheTexas Chillicothe, texas are
going to be forgotten.
When they're gone, maybe theirfamily lives on, or part of
their family, like you gotten.
When they're gone, well, maybetheir family lives on or part of
their family, like you know,all our families are here, so
you know, when our parents aregone, are we going to be the
(13:54):
family that carries on and whatare we going to do here?
That's there's.
That's another thing, you seewhat I'm saying, that's another
thing that I get pissed off.
Zack (14:03):
You know what I'm saying and get mad about you know it's
just.
Yeah, I'll be.
You know that's just what it is.
Earl (14:10):
That's your head thinking about it, though that's a
fucking.
Zack (14:13):
Yeah.
Earl (14:13):
I mean that's hard to get away from, but no you can't get
away from it yeah, but youwouldn't have thought you'd be
in a situation like this.
You couldn't conceive thatbefore you couldn't conceive
that before.
Zack (14:23):
Oh no, you know what I mean.
But the thing is, you knowthat's not necessarily true
either, because I'm going totell you right now, I had a
dream about it.
I mean years before it happened.
It's like a fear.
There is a fear, yeah, butthere's a difference between
(14:47):
fear and you know there's aconstant fear and then there's a
uh.
Wake you up middle night dream.
Yeah, and my mom is my mom,isn't?
My mom used to wake me up inthe middle night and say
something's wrong with your dad,get dressed and wait for the
telephone call.
I mean, that is no shit.
So, uh, it's uh.
Uh.
You start thinking about shit.
You could have done differentAll sorts of shit you never stop
(15:08):
.
Earl (15:08):
Yeah, that's right.
I never thought there's no end,so here's the deal.
Zack (15:13):
No, I just need to just say all that shit.
I ain't trying to say that andshit or to get everybody to
listen to.
You know this old, sad Look atthis mother, listen to this
fucking cry baby.
Yeah, you know.
You know what I mean.
I ain't trying to be, andthat's the one thing you don't
want to be remembered for.
Oh, you walk in Because I canwalk in Walmart and people look
at you like damn.
(15:33):
Same way I would look at lostboth his kids.
I'd be like God damn it, don'tlook, don't, look, don't say
yeah, yeah ain't nothing like it.
Ain't nothing like it.
No, that's yeah.
I've been stuck.
(15:53):
I've been stuck right.
That's aggravating the shit outof me too well that's the word
ain't stuck.
Yeah, it's a place that you'restuck.
I'm trying.
I can't get away from writingsad shit or writing about that,
it's just.
Bucky (16:05):
But hey, me and Earl, okay.
So we thought about this, thefuneral, and it's like man, it
was tough and it would have beenway cooler if you was up there
playing them songs.
But hey what?
(16:26):
I always start thinking howabout we ask Zach to play them
when he comes tonight?
Because when you play songslike that, I feel like it does
change the mood.
I think it changes your mood.
Yeah, I mean, I mean, you knowwhat I mean.
Zack (16:45):
I really think, if you play that, are you still going
to be as mad?
I mean?
Bucky (16:49):
I don't know.
I don't know, I'm asking.
That's why I'm asking.
Zack (16:52):
I actually have a song that when I get mad I usually
and it's a hymn that I usuallyplay.
Bucky (17:03):
Yeah, so sometimes do you do.
I mean, you've got to findsomething that helps the
smallest amount, whether it be adrink, I mean.
I'm just saying a pill.
I mean, you know like we've gotto take vitamins, because you
know you drink as much as I do.
You've got to take vitamins.
That's what I'm saying.
(17:23):
Like we're deficient on somethings.
So in our old age we getdeficient in these certain
chemicals in our bodies and thenwe just go crashing down.
Zack (17:36):
You know, that amazing grace, my chains are gone, that
I do.
Bucky (17:41):
Yeah.
Zack (17:42):
You know I made that.
I took that song and made itthat well, we was talking about
that.
Bucky (17:47):
Your mom and dad did that too on a couple versions of
different songs back in the dayyeah, I was sitting in the.
Zack (17:55):
I was sitting in the shop with my brother, my brother
shane, and started playing.
Of course it's a littledifferent now than it was when I
did it well, you have to go,but uh yeah, it is a that's it's
powerful.
Bucky (18:11):
I mean, that is powerful yeah, and that's why I was like
I told her.
I said I'm asking to play it orsomething, something.
Because I mean like say, itdon't matter what kind of mood
you're in, I feel like it liftsyour spirits.
Well, it does.
I mean that's all it does,there's no way around it.
I mean, when you go to churchsometimes that's how you feel.
Zack (18:32):
Go to a P Diddy party.
Bucky (18:34):
Well, your spirits don't get lifted.
Zack (18:36):
You get taken down, spirits get pulled down.
Bucky (18:40):
You forget about them, spirits, because you don't see
nothing.
Earl (18:43):
Oh boy.
Bucky (18:44):
It's dark in there in the P Diddy party.
You might hear somebody, butyou'll never see nobody yeah you
don't know who it is back there, but somebody's back there.
Yeah, I'd be screaming.
Zack (18:57):
Who's back?
there.
Bucky (18:58):
Oh man, Get off from back there.
Zack (19:00):
You know how many people woke up from a P Diddy party and
said man, I had the worst dream.
I turned around and looked andrealized they're still there.
Bucky (19:05):
I had the worst dream.
You turn around and look andrealize they're still there.
Yeah, like damn it, that isjust what I imagined.
Oh goodness Boy, I'm glad Inever was one of them.
Zack (19:12):
Uh-uh Woo.
They wouldn't have to worryabout recording me, I would
record it myself.
This is my Uncle, jake, whichcould play anything what's his
favorite song is probably one ofmy favorite songs, for sure.
Bucky (19:27):
It's going to be everybody's favorite after you
play it.
That's nice.
Zack (19:42):
Well, I'm so tired and so weary.
But I must go along to the Lord.
He calls me away to where themorning's so bright and the lamb
is the light and the night isas fair as the day, the night is
(20:18):
as fair as the day and there'llbe peace in the valley for me
someday.
There'll be peace in thisvalley for me, lord.
I pray there'll be no sadness,no sorrows, no troubles.
I'll see There'll be peace inthis valley for me, where the
bear will be gentle and thewolves.
(20:41):
They'll be tame and the lionshall lay by the land, and the
lion shall lay by the lamb, andthen the beast from the wild Be
led by a child and I'll bechanged From this creature that
I am and there'll be peace inthe valley For me someday.
(21:09):
There'll be peace in thisvalley for me, lord, I pray
There'll be no sadness, nosorrows, no troubles.
I'll see, there'll be peace inthis valley for me.
There'll be no sadness, nosorrows, no troubles.
(21:35):
I'll see, cause there'll bepeace in this valley for me,
lord, for me Someday.
For me, lord, for me someday.
Earl (21:57):
You can play that one at my funeral too.
Bucky (21:59):
Yeah, damn right, that's a good one, wow.
Zack (22:02):
Yeah.
Bucky (22:04):
What a yes, sir.
That was pretty good.
Can't go wrong with music.
I did hear some feedbacks.
Every time you pick up thatguitar, it's like oh, on the
yeah Podcast.
Yeah, you know, music doesstuff to people.
Zack (22:26):
Might have to get away from.
This one Got to be too hard onit, too hot.
This one Got to be too hard onhim, too hot on him.
He said be too hard on him.
What, yeah, he took that 16-daypill.
Bucky (22:38):
Wait four hours you want to get on the stool.
What do you want?
Zack (22:41):
to do this will be hard.
I just don't need those.
Yeah, this is.
I have a.
I have a list of people thatare supposed to sing at their
funeral.
Bucky (22:53):
Just because this song right here no, I probably wanted
that mine then they want to doit too, though I don't even care
what mine do, that won't.
It won't matter, I'll be.
I liked it, make it work.
Zack (23:07):
It sounded good to me so the waves in grace, how sweet
(23:32):
the sound that saved a wretchlike me, like me, cause I once
(23:54):
Was lost.
But now.
Well, I'm found and I was blind.
But, now.
Well, I see.
It was grace that taught myheart to fear, to fear and grace
(24:28):
my fear relieved.
How precious did he get?
That grace appeared near him.
(24:49):
That grace appeared the hour Ifirst believed.
My chains are gone and I'vebeen set free.
(25:11):
My Lord, my Savior.
He's ransomed me Like a floodHis mercy, rains, unending love,
(25:41):
amazing grace.
And when we've been there tenthousand years, bright, shining
(26:08):
and the sun, there's no lessdays To sing God's praise.
Then, when we first Begone, asmy chains Are gone and I've been
(26:45):
Set free, lord, my and I'vebeen set free, lord, my Savior.
He's ransomed me Like a flood.
His mercy, rains, unending love, amazing grace.
(27:22):
And like a flood, his mercy andlight the floor.
His mercy reigns, unending love, amazing grace, amazing grace.
(27:55):
How sweet the sound.
Bucky (28:12):
Yeah, hell yeah, badass.
You can play that at my funeraltwice if you want.
I don't give a damn.
Yes, that's a good one.
Yes, sir, yep man, I feel that,oh yeah, gotta you got to.
Zack (28:33):
You don't feel that you ain't alive yeah, uh, don't ask
me how I've been hey, you should.
Bucky (28:39):
Uh, you got a song about that, don't you?
Maybe I'm trying to.
Zack (28:43):
I just can't, I can't do it oh, yeah, you have.
Bucky (28:45):
Yeah, you can't get it out, or what you can't get it
out.
Zack (28:47):
It's like being constipated.
You can't get that hey, I gotpills for that, oh well I've
been down, found the bottom ofeverybody in this town and it
feels like there ain't no moreangels around.
(29:14):
So you can ask me if you thinkyou wanna hear what I have to
say.
Just don't ask me how I feel.
And that's right back to thatold sad shit, you know.
Bucky (29:31):
Right.
Well, yeah, you're right.
Yeah, it ain't hard to getthere now.
Zack (29:37):
Y'all probably haven't even heard this song.
And this song, man, I'm tellingyou, right now this song.
I should sell this motherfucker.
Bucky (29:44):
Hey, you can sell it.
Sell it, bro.
Sell it, it might be coming younever know you never know.
Zack (30:00):
You need to stop right there.
You're not the the only one.
I felt that way, too.
You need to think about whatyou're gonna say, cause trust me
, baby words bruise too.
(30:21):
So why'd you have to go insane?
You wish you would've stayed,set my rain on fire.
That's falling on me right now.
(30:47):
That's falling on me right now.
You've got me burning with adesire, a desire to put you out,
cause you set my rain on fire.
You need to stop right there.
(31:13):
You're not the only one.
I felt that way, too.
Need to think about what you'regonna say, cause trust me, baby
words bruise too.
(31:33):
So why'd you have to go insane?
You wish you would've stayed.
It's like you set this rain onfire that's falling on me right
(31:57):
now.
You've got me burning with adesire, a desire to put you out,
cause you set my rain on fire.
Bucky (32:28):
Oh dude man.
Zack (32:29):
I wrote a song that was so sad, dude.
I changed the song up, dude,and wrote a song that I need to
put out on July 4th.
It's called Daddy's Go to War.
But the original song was sad,dude, I was too sad, I didn't
even want to do it.
Bucky (32:42):
Yeah, you had to.
Zack (32:50):
But you got to get right there.
Well, he got his own worst dayand it nearly broke his heart.
The sad thing is he knew theworst was yet to come.
So when he had to go home andtell his little girls that he's
(33:20):
got to go to a foreign land,it'll break his heart to see
them cry and it'll tear him upinside.
It's something he's got to do.
He hopes they understand,because daddy's going to war.
(33:41):
Daddy's going to war.
Then he thinks of how his dadDid two tours of Vietnam but he
(34:03):
never got to come back home.
But he knew he was a hero Causehe died for his country and God.
But he'll never forget theman's last words.
He said Sometimes you gottalose so you can win.
(34:26):
Stand up and be a man and fightfor those who can't defend
themselves.
Times you gotta lose so you canwin.
Times you gotta lose so you canwin.
Stand up and be a man and fightfor those who can't defend
(34:51):
themselves.
Sometimes you gotta give toreceive.
You see, this price of freedomain't free.
Something I've gotta do, don'tyou understand?
Your daddy's going to war.
(35:12):
Your daddy's going to war.
And before he boards the plane,well, he kisses them one last
time, wipes away their tears andsays please don't cry.
(35:33):
Sometimes you gotta lose so youcan win.
Stand up and be a man and fightfor those who can't defend
themselves.
Sometimes you gotta give toreceive.
You see, this price of freedomain't free.
(35:56):
There's something we've gottado.
Hope you understand, causedaddy's going to war, daddy's
going to war, your daddy's goingto war.
(36:20):
Sometimes you gotta give,sometimes you gotta give.
You gotta give, you gotta give.
Sometimes you gotta give toreceive.
You see, this price of freedomain't free.
It's something we've gotta do,please understand, cause daddy's
(36:45):
going to war and daddy's goingto war.
In the back of that motherfuckerI used to have, the solo was
(37:08):
Star Spangled Banner.
Oh yeah.
It's a whole lot better when youcan remember the whole thing at
one time.
Bucky (37:22):
Yeah, I like that one Like them.
All Got to give to receivesometimes, right?
Yep, no man, that shit put youin the mood, though I ain't
gonna lie.
It just kind of In the mood,not that kind of mood.
I didn't take a pill, I wasjust saying I wrote songs, man,
(37:45):
because I come home and gotnothing.
Zack (37:47):
She's mad as s*** that, so I wrote a song about her.
Bucky (37:50):
About her or, yeah, about the whole situation.
Earl (37:53):
Yeah.
Zack (37:54):
And then I wrote another song because she's mad as f***.
Bucky (37:57):
Sounds like you got a lot of them.
Zack (37:59):
Yeah, I come home at 3 or 4 o'clock in the morning.
Bucky (38:02):
That sometimes will get you in trouble.
Zack (38:23):
You always find a way To put me in my place and I get mad
and say there's things thatdon't mean any way.
Just like the time I told you Idon't care if you stay, don't
care if you stay.
(38:43):
So, hey baby, let's not fighttonight.
Hey baby, we can make thisright.
Put down that old suitcase andlet me take you back to the
(39:08):
place where we first met and tothe time you can't forget let's
do more.
Hey baby, I said hey baby.
Hey baby, I said hey baby.
(39:34):
I know that our lives havechanged, but we can get back to
that place when we were youngand in love.
Nothing stood in our way.
Just like the time your old mansaid there ain't no downgrade.
(39:54):
Then we ran away.
So, hey baby, let's not fighttonight.
Hey baby, let's do them all.
(40:15):
Hey baby short version I saidhey baby.
(40:51):
P Diddy Party.
Bucky (40:52):
P Diddy Party.
Zack (40:57):
So if you want to think, y'all can write, help me out
with several songs, let's see, Ithink I'll hop a train and I'll
look back and maybe buy a planeticket to where you're at,
whatever it'll take, baby, justto get to you, cause there's
(41:39):
nothing but miles between us.
That ain't gonna stop me now.
That ain't gonna stop me now.
I even slap a kid off his truck.
I don't know.
I can't fucking think about this, I'll even ride with a serial
(41:59):
killer.
I thought about that when Isaid that truck.
Bucky (42:02):
That's pretty good I was.
Earl (42:06):
I was on my way to this killer guy.
Zack (42:08):
Oh, now with a, with a, with a pulled pork sandwich on
my mind, I'm coming across thislittle bitty old place right
past the Deku County line.
He said come on in.
My name is Bucky.
He tried to sell me a nut, abuck nut.
He said you know, I got a bucknut, I got a squirrel nut.
(42:29):
I got something squirrely inside.
Come on, charlie.
Squirrely buck nuts, come on in.
Earl (42:32):
I got buck nuts, I got like squirrely and so on.
Zack (42:33):
Come on, charlie, squirrely button nuts.
Earl (42:34):
Come on, nuts, squirrely button nuts.
Zack (42:35):
Come on in, I got button nuts for all sorts of people Got
squirrely button nuts, gotregular button nuts, got fucking
calf button nuts.
Bucky (42:44):
We just got nuts.
Zack (42:45):
Got nuts.
It's like a.
What is that old Amajcommercial?
Bucky (42:49):
Oh, come on, come on.
Earl (42:54):
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Zack (42:55):
Sometimes you feel like a nut.
Bucky (42:57):
There you go.
Zack (42:57):
Sometimes you don't Bullshit.
Oh man, george got nuts.
I caught a ride with a serialkiller one time.
He said I take you to get agood place to eat.
Bucky (43:08):
Right past the DQ County line.
Earl (43:12):
I know it's going to be my last meal.
Serial killer, I took me one ofthem pills and I was part of a
county heart.
He said take this.
He said take this.
Zack (43:17):
I didn't know what you were talking about.
Bucky (43:19):
Take this pill and shove it.
Zack (43:22):
He said next thing I know I roofied myself.
Bucky (43:29):
Ended up at my own P Diddy party.
Zack (43:31):
Oh, I guess that's about it.
Bucky (43:34):
Ended up making my own P Diddy party.
Oh, good story about that shit.
Ended up making a.
Earl (43:39):
P Diddy party.
Did you know it was too late bythe time you knew it?
Zack (43:42):
Yeah, I said Margaret don't look, but it was too late.
He done run through the frozenfood, taking the croakers.
Yeah they call him the street.
Fast thing on two feet.
I remember you said that albumFucking over and over Bruce.
Stevens.
Hell yeah, he said, corey, howdid you get that Harley Up on
that high dive boy?
Harley up on high dive?
(44:03):
That's a Johnny Hendrix thingright there.
I can see Johnny HendrixPutting Harley on high dive.
Hey Me and Earl.
I love Johnny.
D Was my bud.
When I was a kid the mistakeswe made when we was kids.
Sometimes you only get to makeone of them.
Bucky (44:23):
Yeah, what'd I have you write down.
Earl (44:25):
Oh, you want me to write what down?
No, what I had you write downearlier, before Zach got here.
Bucky (44:28):
Remember, I told you to write down that no, no, no, no,
no, oh all that shit Much of itOne down.
Zack (44:34):
No, no, no, no no.
Oh, all that shit One day.
Bucky (44:37):
Gone.
Yep, that's what I wrote downthat earlier.
We don't know how much time wehave left.
Earl (44:47):
No, Talk about day minute to minute.
Bucky (44:50):
We might not make it tomorrow.
May not make it.
If you may not make it, if youwait, it's too late.
We talked about that.
If you wait, it's too late, Idon't know.
Zack (45:11):
I want you to know.
I thought I'd see you tonight,but you're too damn stubborn.
To see wrong from right.
(45:31):
So where did you go?
You've been here all of my life.
I guess it got too hot and youjust couldn't handle the fire.
But you're not the first toknow and you won't be the last.
(45:59):
There's a long list ofhas-beens Waiting down at the
pass.
So when you figure it out.
I'm not white trash.
(46:21):
They won't let you on thistrain that I'm on.
It'll be moving too fast.
It was 1992.
Well, I promised her the world.
(46:45):
She promised me the moon, butshe couldn't take in my life and
the drugs.
So she listened to the voices,packed her bags and headed back
(47:07):
home.
But she's not the first, youknow, and she won't be the last.
There's a long list ofhas-beens.
Waiting down at the pass.
(47:33):
So when you figure it out.
I'm not white trash.
They won't let you on thistrain that I'm on.
They'll be moving too fast.
Earl (47:54):
Brandon Ryder.
Brandon Ryder, well, you editeda verse moving too fast.
Zack (47:58):
Brandon Ryder.
Brandon Ryder, well, you addeda verse, you customized it.
It's the same thing I do withBrandon Ryder was a bad son of a
bitch.
Bucky (48:05):
Yeah, that's old.
He wasn't around all that long,right, that's when he was
younger.
Zack (48:10):
When I met him he was a fucking I'll tell you who else
is a douchebag dude, and that isoh, he's real popular.
He's still popular.
His parents are a lawyer, Justname somebody.
Bucky (48:24):
Donahue, yeah, casey.
Zack (48:26):
Donahue oh yeah, casey Donahue.
His band was, so I opened upfor him.
His band was, so I opened upfor him.
His band was so fucking cooldude.
Earl (48:34):
His dad was a lawyer and shit Both of them.
Yeah, what's Randy Rogers was?
Zack (48:38):
His dad was a preacher and his mom was a school teacher or
some shit.
Randy Rogers, bad motherfucker,yes.
Earl (48:42):
Yeah, but I mean that's what he's got some.
He was a.
His dad was a preacher dude.
He writes all that shit.
Hey, how many instruments doeshe play On the recordings?
He plays all that shit.
His live band is not even whathe records with he's got a
songwriting deal.
Where he has to, he plays thefiddle and all that shit he's
got to put out so many songs aweek Does he?
Zack (49:03):
Yeah, but he plays all them fucking instruments on the
bus because he opened up for himat this deal for the ranch Wade
Bowen.
Earl (49:13):
Wade Bowen.
Yeah, yeah, but no, randyRogers is like rats.
I mean all the different piecesof music for the different
instruments and shit.
Bucky (49:22):
Well, you know, it is basketball.
Bad time Drinking, yeah.
Earl (49:27):
That's when you drink all day 10.
Bucky (49:30):
From the start In the AMs .
Yeah, that funeral, funeralit's hard.
I know it was man.
Zack (49:37):
That's why I don't like going to any but I don't like
going to any of them, but no, Ijust want to go to mine.
That's about it.
The next one I want to go to ismine on the wall.
Earl (49:51):
I didn't want, I'd probably be two people, I don't
care.
Zack (49:54):
Yeah, I don't have to be that I mean I, I mean I would
care if I was still alive, butbeing that I'd be dead, I won't
care.
But uh, I'll be where I want tobe, but if, but if everybody
y'all know ain't there, I'mgonna be a mad son bitch if I
ever have to come back ony'all's bitch asses.
No, I just you know, then Ithink sometimes I think you know
my girls, my girls.
(50:14):
Did either one of y'all even goto the funeral?
Earl (50:16):
Yeah, oh, y'all did go.
Zack (50:17):
Yeah, I don't remember.
Bucky (50:19):
I ain't never seen so many, I had to stand up.
Zack (50:21):
I'd never seen so many people.
Bucky (50:23):
I was, me and Anthony.
Zack (50:23):
We were standing up by the door, you know, there was the
signing books.
Two complete signing books werecompletely full.
Earl (50:32):
Yeah, probably a lot of people didn't sign in.
Zack (50:36):
Yeah, and you know that gym that holds fire limits is
like 1,500.
Seating 1,500.
Yeah, it was way full.
It was like way more than that.
Yeah, you know, there waspeople there that I didn't ever
think would be there, andthere's people that weren't
there that I thought would havebeen there.
Bucky (50:54):
That's a funeral.
Yeah, like I say, some peoplecan't handle them.
Oh, that was terrible.
That's why some people are justlike hell.
No, yeah, yeah, that was man,that was.
I mean, drapes was pretty damnrough too, man, man.
Zack (51:15):
That's the only thing, that's the worse, you know what
I don't know.
Earl (51:19):
You don't want to see more than one casket.
No, anytime there's more thanone, yeah that's.
Bucky (51:23):
I mean, yeah, one is bad enough, you start adding numbers
bro.
That's so oh yeah, Hell yeahwhen he told me to hurry up
Today.
Zack (51:32):
No, at the funeral.
Bucky (51:33):
Oh.
Zack (51:34):
Because I pushed the caskets out.
Earl (51:35):
Not today.
Bucky (51:35):
I pushed the caskets out.
I think he passed away.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Zack (51:47):
And he told me for one thing, but still, it don't make
up for it yeah.
Saturday, I started drinkingabout 10 o'clock this morning
Went to a funeral with myfriends there.
My friends there Hit hard.
(52:10):
Knocked me down, so I.
Thought I'd hit it hard back.
Now I don't make Much senseWasting away again In an
abandoned hospital InChillicothe, Texas.
(52:31):
It's not Margaritaville.
Bucky (52:34):
But it's haunted.
Zack (52:35):
But it's haunted.
That makes up for it, don't ityeah?
If I get tired of being hauntedby these people, I'll just go
down to Luz Barbecue and eat abuck nut.
You really shouldn't have leftthat in that deal.
(52:55):
Dude, what you might not,Somebody listening to that
podcast is probably never goingto eat another buck nut again.
I thought about that afterbecause it was funny.
Bucky (53:03):
Yeah, I was okay with it.
Zack (53:05):
Because when I said, you know, you just sit back there
laughing your ass off every timesomebody orders one, I thought,
oh man, damn, they're going tobe looking.
Bucky (53:12):
Yeah, they're going to be listening.
Now they're going to be wantingthem more.
Yeah, hopefully, hopefully, Ihope I hope Some of them damn
buck nuts they talking about.
For some reason no femalesnever come in that movie.
(53:37):
It's probably that pill he took.
Tonight.
We're going to say goodbye forthe Be Easy podcast and we will
be talking to you soon, butuntil then, I'm Bucky, this is
Earl, I'm Zach.
Zack (53:45):
We are the Be Easy podcast and we will see you later.
And I had to take a step backCause, I swear I didn't
recognize my own face.
So I asked that man there in themirror, just how he ended up
(54:07):
this way and with the cry in hisvoice and the tear in his eyes.
I heard every word the man hadto say.
He said I lost my wife and Icouldn't stop getting high and
(54:30):
the lights caught up with me andwhen she left she took the only
thing that meant anything to me, and with those baby blue eyes
and that smile that's mine.
(54:53):
This year she turned three.
You better grab ahold ofsomething, for something grabs
ahold of you and don't ask aquestion If you can't take the
truth, cause I'm just areflection of you.
(55:14):
He said I'm just a reflectionof you.
Oh Lord, well, I could see thedesperation in his eyes.
(55:41):
Each deep breath it took forhim to breathe and every word he
said hit home with me.
I felt like a blind man couldnow see.
And then, the more I stared,the more I realized that the man
(56:05):
standing there in front of me,hell, he was just a reflection
of me.
I said just a reflection of me,me, you see, I lost my wife.
(56:30):
I couldn't stop getting highand the lights caught up with me
, and when she left she took theonly thing that meant anything
to me, and with those baby blueeyes and that smile that's mine.
(56:56):
This year she turned three.
You better grab a hold ofsomething close, something,
rather hold you.
I said it might be a reflectionof you.
(57:54):
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh
, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh, oh,
oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh,oh, oh, oh, oh, oh oh oh, for
the first time in a long timetoday.
And I had to take a step backCause, I swear, I didn't
recognize my own fate.
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