December 30, 2024 • 25 mins
Did 2024 feel like a year of growth and challenges? In this episode of Beyond Bold, Kyla Bolden reflects on the five biggest lessons she learned this year—and how you can apply them to make 2025 your most transformative year yet.
✨ Here’s what you’ll learn:
- How to ditch a scarcity mindset and embrace abundance for true success.
- The secret to living in “the gain” instead of “the gap” for sustained happiness.
- Why reframing setbacks can unlock positivity and resilience.
- Four simple agreements to live a balanced, grounded life.
- A powerful trick to infuse gratitude into your daily routine.
Kyla gets candid about her personal experiences, from overextending herself in business to rethinking her goals and rediscovering the power of gratitude. With stories, practical tips, and inspiration, this episode is the perfect way to set the tone for 2025.
🎧 Tune in, take notes, and get ready to embrace boldness like never before!
Have Questions? Send then in for our AMA section
Thanks for tuning in to Beyond Bold! Stay connected:
Follow our blog to stay connected and get early access to podcast info: https://kylabolden.substack.com/
- Follow Kyla:
- Instagram: @kylabolden and @beyondboldpod
- TikTok: @kylabolden
Stay bold, stay fearless. See you in the next episode!
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:05):
Hi everyone, it's Kyla Bolden and welcome back to
the Beyond Bold podcast.
Thank you so much for joiningme here today again and, if
you're new, welcome.
I wanted to give just a littleoverview about what Beyond Bold
is, just for those who don'tknow it, but I am a CEO and the
founder of a tech startup.
I've run my company for eightyears and on Beyond Bold, we
(00:27):
talk about all things on how tolive a bold life on your own
terms.
Whether you are a CEO, afounder, somebody who wants to
start their own business orsomebody that really just wants
to craft their own career intheir life, this is the perfect
podcast for you, and today weare going to talk about all of
the lessons that I learned as abusiness owner and just as like
(00:49):
a 28 year old girl who is goingthrough life and trying to do
their best and in hopes thatit'll help you have a better
2025.
I am super excited for the newyear.
I feel like, if you're anythinglike me, 2024 was a good year,
but it was a really long yearand it was a lot of changes that
(01:11):
happened, especially if you'rein North America like we went
through an election and thenglobally, with AI becoming more
commercialized, changed a lot ofthings in business, and I think
this year was a lot of beingflexible, responding to changes,
but also a lot of learning too,and I learned so much.
(01:31):
And when thinking about what todo for this episode, I was
first thinking about doing agoal setting episode, because I
love to goal set, but I actuallythink I'm going to do that
after the first quarter goal set, but I actually think I'm going
to do that after the firstquarter, and I wanted to do an
episode that was more focused onwhat I learned and what I'm
trying to take into 2024, orrather 2025.
(01:54):
Sorry, it always takes me alittle while to get used to the
new year, and this was inspiredby a few books that I read in
December.
So I read the Gap in the Gameby Daniel Sullivan and the Four
Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, andI'm somebody who reads a lot of
self-development books.
Trust me, I read them, I listento them, and it's very rare
that I find a book that I'm like, oh my gosh, like this blew my
(02:18):
mind, I did not know this right,and I'm not saying that I know
everything, but if you'reanything like me and I'm sure
you've had this experience.
You typically read a self-helpbook and you're like yeah, I
knew this, okay, I'm going tostart doing it now.
Like now I have more reasons todo that.
Like I think we all have a goodidea, naturally, how to live a
good, productive life, and theproblem is is that we don't
(02:39):
always do it.
But, specifically, the book theGap and the Gain taught me
something so new and it reallychanged my perspective on goal
setting and happiness, so I'mreally excited to talk to you
guys about that.
I also learned a lot when itcame to business and prospecting
, and I wanna talk to you guysabout that.
And then I wanna talk to youguys about what I learned in the
(03:01):
book the Four Agreements, andthis really sums up everything,
or rather the most importantthings I learned in the book the
Four Agreements, and thisreally sums up everything, or
rather the most important thingsI learned this year, and I'm
hoping that you guys could takesome of these things that I
learned into your new year tohave the best 2025 yet.
So, without further ado, let'sget into the four lessons I
learned in 2024 that I reallybelieve that if you guys take
too hard, you are going to beable to level up in your
(03:24):
business, in your personal lifeand just in your entire life in
general.
Okay, so the first lesson Ilearned is the importance of
having an abundance mindset and,more so, the importance of
making sure you do not have ascarcity mindset and being
really honest with yourselfabout if you do have a scarcity
(03:45):
mindset.
So, because if you would haveasked me six months ago, kyla,
do you have an abundance mindset?
I was upset a hundred percent.
In a lot of ways, I thinkthat's true.
I do very much have abundancemindset and what I think and
like what I think is possiblefor me and all of those things.
But I know this in myday-to-day life.
I was really showing that in alot of ways, I had a scarcity
(04:08):
mindset, and when I was finallyhonest with myself, that's when
a lot of things change.
So, yeah, one of the biggestlessons I learned in 2024 was
recognizing how much my scarcitymindset was holding me back,
and this is not justprofessionally, but personally
too.
I realized I was overextendingmyself in so many ways, and I
(04:29):
noticed this because I was nothonoring my boundaries at all,
and when you notice that youhave boundaries and you're
consistently breaking them.
Oftentimes scarcity is thecause of that and it was
affecting everything my sleep,my workouts, my overall balance,
my work, everything.
So, for example, I know howimportant rest is to me and I'm
(04:52):
sure it's important to all ofyou guys too, and I was always
somebody that worked really hardand you know I used to be
really, really good about mysleep.
But in the last couple of yearsI haven't been that good and,
honestly, the second half ofthis year I found myself pulling
multiple all-nighters everysingle week.
No joke, like most weeks, Iwould pull two all-nighters on
(05:17):
average, sometimes even three,definitely one every single week
, and I was often staying up anddoing these multiple O-Liders
and going above and beyond forclients, often doing more than
they paid for, even X.
Because when I really thoughtabout it and, like you know,
looked inward, I was afraid ofmissing out on the next
(05:39):
opportunity.
I thought to myself, like whatif there's no more clients?
Like no more clients come,which is silly, because they
always come or, um, what if,like, I missed out on this
opportunity?
And uh, here's the thing,opportunities always come.
But that was the scarcitymindset talking to me.
Um, and I was oftentimesfinding myself like giving
(06:01):
bigger discounts that I neededto, and that was a boundary that
I really didn't like how much.
I crossed that boundary thisyear and the same thing showed
up in my personal life.
I found myself pouring intofriendships or people that
weren't reciprocating the sameenergy back that I wanted, and
(06:21):
it was like in fear of losingthose connections.
Because I live in Toronto mostof the time and if you live in
Toronto, it's very, very commonA lot of people say that Toronto
is a hard place to meet people,make new friends and things
like that.
So I felt like I was holdingonto connections that I didn't
need to hold on so tightly.
And now I know this is all dueto my scarcity mindset that I
(06:45):
had.
So what I learned is havingabundance mindset is really
really key.
It's about trusting thatthere's always more out there,
more clients, more friendships,more opportunities, and that you
don't have to sacrifice yourwell-being or your values to
make it happen.
When I started like letting goof that fear of oh my gosh, like
(07:05):
what if, like, this persondoesn't show up, or what if this
client isn't happy, or what ifit takes me longer to get this,
or etc.
Etc.
I really was able to lean moreinto abundance and I not only
feel better, but I startedattracting the right
opportunities and people into mylife.
And it's a learning lesson, Ithink.
As humans, we are wired to likelook for the danger, and that's
(07:27):
why it's so easy to develop ascarcity mindset.
You find yourself notrespecting your boundaries, ask
yourself why, and a lot of timesthat's due to your scarcity
mindset.
And so then what you do is youlook at that scarcity, think
about is it true?
And a lot of times you knowthere's no validity of you
believing in a scarcity mindset,like this world is truly
(07:50):
abundant.
So when you get down to thecrux of it, you realize it's
false.
And just reminding yourselfokay, how can I switch this
mindset, this opportunity, false?
And just reminding yourselfokay, how can I switch this
mindset, this opportunity, thissituation I'm into, to look at
it from abundance perspective.
So, yeah, that was the firstlesson I learned Like, always
make sure you're havingabundance mindset in everything,
and scarcity is really reallyliterally poison it.
(08:13):
Avoid it in any sense.
So the second lesson that Ilearned was the importance of
always living your life throughthe gain perspective rather than
the gap, and this is from abook that I read by Daniel
Sullivan called the Gap in theGain, and this book really,
really did change my thinkingand really helped me understand
(08:34):
myself better.
So the Gap in the the gain isall about the fact that
oftentimes, high achievers livein the gap, which is where they
think they should be, and it'simportant to live in the gain,
which is all that you'veaccomplished, all that you've
done.
Looking at all that you'veachieved in the last 30 days, 90
days a year, and looking backat all what you gained and
(08:55):
seeing your progress, and why alot of high achievers oftentimes
live in the gap is because weset our goals as ideals rather
than tangible goals that arenecessary to get from point A to
point B.
I'll give you a classic example.
I used to be an athlete I stillam an athlete, I would say, but
I used to run track and I ran itat a really high level.
(09:17):
I won states, nationalchampionships, et cetera, and so
when I would make my goals forthe seasons, my goal would never
be to win states.
My goal would be win states,get a personal best and break a
school record.
So when I won states, it didn'tfeel like a success because I'm
like I didn't get a personalbest and I didn't break a school
(09:39):
record, and that is somethingthat we do as high achievers all
the time, and it sets yourselfup for failure, honestly.
So it's really important tolook at when you're goal setting
, thinking about, like, is thisideal or is this actually like a
goal that gets me from point Ato point B and is something that
(10:01):
is not something that willhappen in a perfect, perfect
world, because really, at theend of the day, when you're
running the race, the goal is towin the race.
You know and like, yes, youwant the personal best, yes, you
want to break a record, butlike, those things are just like
added bonuses and it puts toomuch pressure on yourself and it
makes you feel like, whenyou've actually achieved winning
(10:23):
the race, that you didn'tactually reach your goals.
And I think you know I wanted togive the race example because
that's something that I found,that I did since I was a kid and
it shows up in my life now, butit really shows up in our lives
in so many different ways, butit really shows up in our lives
in so many different ways.
And so one of the things I'msaying really committed to is
staying in the game, which iswhen you look back 30 days, 90
(10:46):
days a year, and say, okay, whatis all the things that I've
accomplished?
How far have I come?
So even if, like you say, like,your goal is to make, like you
know, let's say your goal was tomake $200,000, right, and you
made $180,000, you don't go oh,I didn't make $200,000.
(11:06):
You say I made $180,000, right,like.
That is living in the game andto put yourself in a like a
positive mindset, and it alsomakes it a lot easier for you to
achieve your goals because youare recognizing that you are
progressing.
So living in the game issomething that I'm really
committed to.
It really opened my eyes as towhy I'm often not proud of
(11:29):
myself as much as I should beand like why, even this year,
I've accomplished so much and itdidn't feel like I accomplished
a lot and it's because my goalswere really ideals and I was
consistently living in the gapof like okay, I did this, but
like, honestly, I could be doingso much more.
Right, and that is a way foryou to be honestly, internally,
(11:51):
not proud of yourself and happy.
So that is something thatreally just like changed my
thinking, because I've alwayswondered I've achieved so much,
but why don't I sometimes feellike I've achieved a lot?
And it's because I live in thegap a lot of times.
So I'm really, really focusedon making sure I live in that
(12:12):
gain that you always live in.
The gain is at the end of theday, write down three wins for
that day.
Just do it in your planner.
At the end of the month, writedown all the wins you've had in
the month and like how much youprogressed.
And at the end of each quarter,do that the same way and like
really just try to focus on howfar you've come and don't worry
(12:34):
about as much of the things thatyou haven't achieved.
You are a high achiever anyway.
You're going to achieve highthings.
Like you don't have to worryabout the fact that you're
complacent, because chances are,if you listen to this podcast,
you're not somebody who isn't ahard worker and you're not
somebody who is complacent,right.
But I really truly believe, andlike science has showed this,
(12:55):
like read Daniel Savo in hisbooks.
He is amazing.
Looking at your progress willhelp you get to where you want,
to be quicker and make youhappier, right?
So, um, yeah, that is thesecond lesson I learned always
making sure you're in the gainrather than the gap.
Okay, so the third lesson Ilearned this year is that you
(13:17):
are in charge of your memoriesand it is your duty to view them
through a positive perspective.
So this actually came from abook that I read last year, and
it was a book by Joe Dispenza,but basically he talks about how
50% of our memories are false.
Like us, as humans, do a reallypoor job of memorizing and
(13:37):
remembering how things happenright, and because of that, why
not view everything through apositive perspective than a
negative perspective?
Like your brain really does notknow the difference.
This is why and I'm not sure ifthis happened to you before,
but it's happened to me Isometimes remember things that
literally did not happen to meas a kid.
Or my mom always tells me thisstory about how she, I think,
(14:00):
remembers going to a circus as achild, but actually her brother
went to the circus and hermemory is actually of her
brother telling her about theAll of that.
To say, we do not rememberthings very well, so why not
remember it from a positiveperspective rather than a
negative perspective, and howyou do that is actually through
viewing any challenge thatyou're going through as a
(14:22):
learning lesson.
I think it's easy, especially asan entrepreneur, when you like
have like bad meetings or youhave bad quarters or you just
have like have these like reallytough experience.
I mean like a lot of it camefrom raising capital for me, but
, like I think any person thatbuilds their own business has
gone through like a lot ofhardship sometimes, and as an
(14:43):
entrepreneur, it's really easyto just be like OK, like on to
the next thing, like I got tokeep going.
Anyone really who is workinghard in their career.
Like they have a really awfulmeeting with a client and
they're like okay, like justgonna push it aside and move on
to the next, move on to the next.
And for a while I was like thattoo, but I wasn't really
dealing with those experiencesand they were just buried in my
(15:04):
brain as negative emotions andthey were affecting the way I
was moving about this world.
And the key is is to not justlike push things to the side.
Is to not just like push thingsto the side is to look at your
past and think, okay, how couldthis be a positive.
What is the learning lessonLike?
How could I look at thisdifferently?
And once you figure it out howto frame that thing in a
(15:24):
positive light, then you canmove on and that is really the
way you make progress, ratherthan just like pushing these
experiences to the side.
You really need to look at yourexperiences and think okay, I'm
in charge of my memories.
How can I frame this as apositive experience?
And really honestly, I think oneof the truest things about life
is like give anything enoughtime you're thankful for it
(15:45):
happening, even the things thatyou cried about, the things that
you really wanted to get butdidn't get.
Like give it enough time andlike you would be thankful that
it didn't show up in your life,because one of the things that I
believe is that if it's not forme, I don't want it, and like I
get everything that is for meright.
So really, that is one of thekey lessons I learned this year
(16:06):
making sure that you look atevery experience that you have
had in the past and not justpush it aside.
Make sure that you are lookingat the experience as a positive
experience in some way.
Find the positive, becausethat's going to allow you to
move on from things a lotquicker and it's ultimately just
going to, like make you buildyour winner's story in your mind
(16:28):
, which is so important forachieving big things.
You can't look at your past andbe like that happened and that
wasn't fair, and this happenedand that hurt me, like that's
just going to drag you down toomuch.
So, in order to build yourwinter stories, take charge of
your memories and know thateverything that happened in the
past was a positive, because itgot you to the point that you
are now.
So that is the third lesson Ilearned.
(16:51):
Okay, and now the fourth lessonI learned was really a set of
lessons I learned from this bookcalled the Four Ingredients by
Miguel Ruiz.
It was a really good book,mostly because it was really
simple.
Again, like, this book wasn'tmind blowing, like the gap in
the game.
This book really taught methings I already knew, but I
thought it was just a reallyeasy way to go about life and
(17:13):
like things to remember, and ifI remember these four things
consistently, I'm gonna be a lothappier than I already am now,
and so I wanted to tell you guysabout it.
So I'm just gonna read you thefour agreements.
And so the first one and likethese are ways to live your life
is be impeccable with yourwords, which means don't say
anything that you don't wannacome true.
Don't gossip.
(17:36):
Like in the Bible says life anddeath is in the power of the
tongue.
Like it's really important notto say things out loud that are
negative.
Don't talk about yourself inways that you wouldn't talk
about somebody else.
Like be kind to yourself anduse your words as something that
have power.
So every time you speak, makesure you're speaking life rather
(17:56):
than death.
The second one is don't takeanything personally.
I love this one becausesometimes, like rather, you're
driving and someone gets roadrage with you and it really
hurts your spirit, or you're ina business call and somebody's
really off-handed to you or acustomer's really rude to you.
In a lot of ways it's reallyeasy to take things personally,
(18:18):
especially if you're anentrepreneur or somebody driving
hard in their career.
Oftentimes you face situationsand have conversations in which
people could be like reallyawful right, but realize like,
don't take anything personally.
That is really about somethingelse that's going on in your
life.
Especially if you don't knowthe person, chances are them
getting mad at you has nothingto do with you.
So don't take anythingpersonally.
The third one is don't makeassumptions.
(18:39):
This is really important.
We all know the old sayingassuming is making an ass out of
you and me.
It's really really true.
If somebody hasn't told youthey feel this way, don't assume
they do right.
Don't assume people are mad atyou and people aren't mad at you
.
Don't assume somebody knowswhat you're thinking if you
haven't told them right.
I think not assuming is superimportant to have healthy
(19:03):
relationships and just alsobeing happy.
I think we've all been insituations where we thought
somebody has been mad at us andthey haven't.
But like, you've built it up inyour head right?
So never assume.
And then the fourth one isalways do your best.
Now, a lot of us do thesethings naturally often, but like
, I think, having a reminder ofmaking sure to live your life by
these four agreements, it'sjust like a really easy way to
(19:25):
just like level up your liferight.
So the four agreements was agreat book.
I don't necessarily think youneed to read it, to be honest,
but these four rules which is beimpeccable with your words
don't take anything personally,don't make assumptions and
always do your best.
They're just four ways to liveyour life really, really well.
Okay, so I know I said I wasgoing to do four learning
(19:46):
lessons of 2024, but I honestlyhave a fifth one that I have to
share, and it's about gratitude.
I am somebody that practicesgratitude a lot and I'm always
looking for new ways to be ableto infuse gratitude more in my
life, and I think oftentimes,when life gets challenging, it
is kind of hard to like find thehappiness in certain situations
(20:09):
, right, like, sometimes thesituation just sucks.
But I actually learned this tipfrom the book the Gap and the
Gain, and it's the easiest wayto like make yourself be happy
and grateful for the life youhave and for the things that you
have when you are complaining,is to imagine yourself without
that thing.
For instance, towards the endof the year, I got a pinched
(20:32):
nerve in my leg, which wasreally just not fun, and I'm
somebody that loves to do a lotof running and it was hard and I
felt myself complaining aboutit a lot.
And the way to stop complainingrather than like be like, oh,
I'm grateful for the pinchednerve in your leg you could say
okay, like imagine your lifewithout your leg, and that will
stop your complainingimmediately.
(20:53):
And you could use this in somany different ways throughout
your life.
So let's say you're complainingabout a family member.
Imagine your life without thatfamily member.
You're complaining about acustomer.
Imagine your life without yourcustomer.
Like, at the end of the day,you want the money, so, like
imagine your life without thatmoney.
You're complaining about yourjob.
Imagine your life without a job.
Right, it's a really easy wayto like nip complaining right in
(21:14):
the bud before you go down thespiral of like whoa, it's me and
my life sucks and such and such.
And it's an easy way to notlike lie to yourself.
Sometimes I find it hard when,like something negative happens
and you like have to find likegratitude in it, and oftentimes
you will find the gratitude astime passes.
But a really easy way to justlike stop yourself from like
(21:35):
going down that negativity hillis just be like okay, what if I
didn't have X?
That's a lot worse.
And keep it pushing.
Like, okay, imagine yourselfwithout a car, you know.
So that is a really, reallysimple way to live a life with
more gratitude and happiness.
So that is a quick tip that,like I really think everyone
should implement into theirlives.
(21:55):
So those are the five biggestlessons that I learned in 2024
that I'm going to be taking into2025.
I have a really good feelingabout this upcoming year.
I'm really excited to takethese lessons I learned and
really be able to transform mylife even more for the better in
the upcoming years.
(22:16):
So just to go over what wetalked about scarcity is poison.
Make sure that you do not havea scarcity mindset and be honest
with yourself.
If you do have a scarcitymindset and oftentimes if you
find yourself like neglectingyour boundaries or letting go of
your boundaries, that istypically because of a scarcity
mindset.
So that was the first lesson.
(22:37):
The second lesson is alwayslive in the gain rather than the
gap.
So the gap is where you thinkyou could be, where you should
be, and the gain is all thethings that you've achieved, all
the ways that you progress.
So live your life through theeyes of the gain and then also
within that is making sure thatyour goals are not ideal, set
like real, tangible, necessarygoals rather than like ideal
(23:00):
goals.
And side note, that is nottelling yourself to not think
big, but it's really just makingsure that when you do achieve
that goal, it's not tarnishedbecause you only thought that
you could achieve it in thatexact way, and if you don't
achieve it in that exact way,and if you don't achieve it in
that exact way, it's a failure.
The third one is making surethat you view all your past
(23:21):
through a positive perspective.
Like I said, humans remember50% of things wrong and it's
really up to you, it is yourduty as a positive, balanced,
healthy, successful person, tolook at your past in a positive
light and then also, within that, making sure that when you go
through difficult situations,you don't just push it aside.
(23:42):
You actually examine thatsituation and look for the
lesson in it, look to see howyou can find the positive in it,
which is the lesson, and thenyou're able to actually move on
and let go.
The fourth lessons were fromthe four agreements, which were
be impeccable with your words.
Don't take anything personally,never assume and always do your
best.
Those are things that I think alot of us already do, but
(24:05):
having them distilled into thosefour rules, those four
agreements, it's just a reallyeasy thing to remember on a
daily basis.
And the fifth thing was allaround gratitude, the easy way
to stop complaining is thinkingabout your life without that
thing.
Gratitude is everything, andthe more gratitude you have in
life, the more successful youwill be.
So those are the five mostimportant things I learned this
(24:26):
year.
I am hoping and praying thatthis year is all that you
imagined and more, and I hopeyou guys have an amazing 2025.
And lastly, before I go, pleasemake sure to subscribe to this
podcast wherever you arelistening to it, whether it's on
YouTube, subscribe.
If you're on Apple Podcasts orSpotify, please follow it and
download.
(24:47):
It helps.
So so much and leave a comment.
Give it five stars and tell mewhat you'd like me to speak
about next.
Like I said, have an amazingnew year.
I'm praying that this new yearis the best ever, and thanks for
listening.
Hi everyone, it's Kyla Bolden and welcome back to
the Beyond Bold podcast.
Thank you so much for joiningme here today again and, if
you're new, welcome.
I wanted to give just a littleoverview about what Beyond Bold
is, just for those who don'tknow it, but I am a CEO and the
founder of a tech startup.
I've run my company for eightyears and on Beyond Bold, we
(00:27):
talk about all things on how tolive a bold life on your own
terms.
Whether you are a CEO, afounder, somebody who wants to
start their own business orsomebody that really just wants
to craft their own career intheir life, this is the perfect
podcast for you, and today weare going to talk about all of
the lessons that I learned as abusiness owner and just as like
(00:49):
a 28 year old girl who is goingthrough life and trying to do
their best and in hopes thatit'll help you have a better
2025.
I am super excited for the newyear.
I feel like, if you're anythinglike me, 2024 was a good year,
but it was a really long yearand it was a lot of changes that
(01:11):
happened, especially if you'rein North America like we went
through an election and thenglobally, with AI becoming more
commercialized, changed a lot ofthings in business, and I think
this year was a lot of beingflexible, responding to changes,
but also a lot of learning too,and I learned so much.
(01:31):
And when thinking about what todo for this episode, I was
first thinking about doing agoal setting episode, because I
love to goal set, but I actuallythink I'm going to do that
after the first quarter goal set, but I actually think I'm going
to do that after the firstquarter, and I wanted to do an
episode that was more focused onwhat I learned and what I'm
trying to take into 2024, orrather 2025.
(01:54):
Sorry, it always takes me alittle while to get used to the
new year, and this was inspiredby a few books that I read in
December.
So I read the Gap in the Gameby Daniel Sullivan and the Four
Agreements by Miguel Ruiz, andI'm somebody who reads a lot of
self-development books.
Trust me, I read them, I listento them, and it's very rare
that I find a book that I'm like, oh my gosh, like this blew my
(02:18):
mind, I did not know this right,and I'm not saying that I know
everything, but if you'reanything like me and I'm sure
you've had this experience.
You typically read a self-helpbook and you're like yeah, I
knew this, okay, I'm going tostart doing it now.
Like now I have more reasons todo that.
Like I think we all have a goodidea, naturally, how to live a
good, productive life, and theproblem is is that we don't
(02:39):
always do it.
But, specifically, the book theGap and the Gain taught me
something so new and it reallychanged my perspective on goal
setting and happiness, so I'mreally excited to talk to you
guys about that.
I also learned a lot when itcame to business and prospecting
, and I wanna talk to you guysabout that.
And then I wanna talk to youguys about what I learned in the
(03:01):
book the Four Agreements, andthis really sums up everything,
or rather the most importantthings I learned in the book the
Four Agreements, and thisreally sums up everything, or
rather the most important thingsI learned this year, and I'm
hoping that you guys could takesome of these things that I
learned into your new year tohave the best 2025 yet.
So, without further ado, let'sget into the four lessons I
learned in 2024 that I reallybelieve that if you guys take
too hard, you are going to beable to level up in your
(03:24):
business, in your personal lifeand just in your entire life in
general.
Okay, so the first lesson Ilearned is the importance of
having an abundance mindset and,more so, the importance of
making sure you do not have ascarcity mindset and being
really honest with yourselfabout if you do have a scarcity
(03:45):
mindset.
So, because if you would haveasked me six months ago, kyla,
do you have an abundance mindset?
I was upset a hundred percent.
In a lot of ways, I thinkthat's true.
I do very much have abundancemindset and what I think and
like what I think is possiblefor me and all of those things.
But I know this in myday-to-day life.
I was really showing that in alot of ways, I had a scarcity
(04:08):
mindset, and when I was finallyhonest with myself, that's when
a lot of things change.
So, yeah, one of the biggestlessons I learned in 2024 was
recognizing how much my scarcitymindset was holding me back,
and this is not justprofessionally, but personally
too.
I realized I was overextendingmyself in so many ways, and I
(04:29):
noticed this because I was nothonoring my boundaries at all,
and when you notice that youhave boundaries and you're
consistently breaking them.
Oftentimes scarcity is thecause of that and it was
affecting everything my sleep,my workouts, my overall balance,
my work, everything.
So, for example, I know howimportant rest is to me and I'm
(04:52):
sure it's important to all ofyou guys too, and I was always
somebody that worked really hardand you know I used to be
really, really good about mysleep.
But in the last couple of yearsI haven't been that good and,
honestly, the second half ofthis year I found myself pulling
multiple all-nighters everysingle week.
No joke, like most weeks, Iwould pull two all-nighters on
(05:17):
average, sometimes even three,definitely one every single week
, and I was often staying up anddoing these multiple O-Liders
and going above and beyond forclients, often doing more than
they paid for, even X.
Because when I really thoughtabout it and, like you know,
looked inward, I was afraid ofmissing out on the next
(05:39):
opportunity.
I thought to myself, like whatif there's no more clients?
Like no more clients come,which is silly, because they
always come or, um, what if,like, I missed out on this
opportunity?
And uh, here's the thing,opportunities always come.
But that was the scarcitymindset talking to me.
Um, and I was oftentimesfinding myself like giving
(06:01):
bigger discounts that I neededto, and that was a boundary that
I really didn't like how much.
I crossed that boundary thisyear and the same thing showed
up in my personal life.
I found myself pouring intofriendships or people that
weren't reciprocating the sameenergy back that I wanted, and
(06:21):
it was like in fear of losingthose connections.
Because I live in Toronto mostof the time and if you live in
Toronto, it's very, very commonA lot of people say that Toronto
is a hard place to meet people,make new friends and things
like that.
So I felt like I was holdingonto connections that I didn't
need to hold on so tightly.
And now I know this is all dueto my scarcity mindset that I
(06:45):
had.
So what I learned is havingabundance mindset is really
really key.
It's about trusting thatthere's always more out there,
more clients, more friendships,more opportunities, and that you
don't have to sacrifice yourwell-being or your values to
make it happen.
When I started like letting goof that fear of oh my gosh, like
(07:05):
what if, like, this persondoesn't show up, or what if this
client isn't happy, or what ifit takes me longer to get this,
or etc.
Etc.
I really was able to lean moreinto abundance and I not only
feel better, but I startedattracting the right
opportunities and people into mylife.
And it's a learning lesson, Ithink.
As humans, we are wired to likelook for the danger, and that's
(07:27):
why it's so easy to develop ascarcity mindset.
You find yourself notrespecting your boundaries, ask
yourself why, and a lot of timesthat's due to your scarcity
mindset.
And so then what you do is youlook at that scarcity, think
about is it true?
And a lot of times you knowthere's no validity of you
believing in a scarcity mindset,like this world is truly
(07:50):
abundant.
So when you get down to thecrux of it, you realize it's
false.
And just reminding yourselfokay, how can I switch this
mindset, this opportunity, false?
And just reminding yourselfokay, how can I switch this
mindset, this opportunity, thissituation I'm into, to look at
it from abundance perspective.
So, yeah, that was the firstlesson I learned Like, always
make sure you're havingabundance mindset in everything,
and scarcity is really reallyliterally poison it.
(08:13):
Avoid it in any sense.
So the second lesson that Ilearned was the importance of
always living your life throughthe gain perspective rather than
the gap, and this is from abook that I read by Daniel
Sullivan called the Gap in theGain, and this book really,
really did change my thinkingand really helped me understand
(08:34):
myself better.
So the Gap in the the gain isall about the fact that
oftentimes, high achievers livein the gap, which is where they
think they should be, and it'simportant to live in the gain,
which is all that you'veaccomplished, all that you've
done.
Looking at all that you'veachieved in the last 30 days, 90
days a year, and looking backat all what you gained and
(08:55):
seeing your progress, and why alot of high achievers oftentimes
live in the gap is because weset our goals as ideals rather
than tangible goals that arenecessary to get from point A to
point B.
I'll give you a classic example.
I used to be an athlete I stillam an athlete, I would say, but
I used to run track and I ran itat a really high level.
(09:17):
I won states, nationalchampionships, et cetera, and so
when I would make my goals forthe seasons, my goal would never
be to win states.
My goal would be win states,get a personal best and break a
school record.
So when I won states, it didn'tfeel like a success because I'm
like I didn't get a personalbest and I didn't break a school
(09:39):
record, and that is somethingthat we do as high achievers all
the time, and it sets yourselfup for failure, honestly.
So it's really important tolook at when you're goal setting
, thinking about, like, is thisideal or is this actually like a
goal that gets me from point Ato point B and is something that
(10:01):
is not something that willhappen in a perfect, perfect
world, because really, at theend of the day, when you're
running the race, the goal is towin the race.
You know and like, yes, youwant the personal best, yes, you
want to break a record, butlike, those things are just like
added bonuses and it puts toomuch pressure on yourself and it
makes you feel like, whenyou've actually achieved winning
(10:23):
the race, that you didn'tactually reach your goals.
And I think you know I wanted togive the race example because
that's something that I found,that I did since I was a kid and
it shows up in my life now, butit really shows up in our lives
in so many different ways, butit really shows up in our lives
in so many different ways.
And so one of the things I'msaying really committed to is
staying in the game, which iswhen you look back 30 days, 90
(10:46):
days a year, and say, okay, whatis all the things that I've
accomplished?
How far have I come?
So even if, like you say, like,your goal is to make, like you
know, let's say your goal was tomake $200,000, right, and you
made $180,000, you don't go oh,I didn't make $200,000.
(11:06):
You say I made $180,000, right,like.
That is living in the game andto put yourself in a like a
positive mindset, and it alsomakes it a lot easier for you to
achieve your goals because youare recognizing that you are
progressing.
So living in the game issomething that I'm really
committed to.
It really opened my eyes as towhy I'm often not proud of
(11:29):
myself as much as I should beand like why, even this year,
I've accomplished so much and itdidn't feel like I accomplished
a lot and it's because my goalswere really ideals and I was
consistently living in the gapof like okay, I did this, but
like, honestly, I could be doingso much more.
Right, and that is a way foryou to be honestly, internally,
(11:51):
not proud of yourself and happy.
So that is something thatreally just like changed my
thinking, because I've alwayswondered I've achieved so much,
but why don't I sometimes feellike I've achieved a lot?
And it's because I live in thegap a lot of times.
So I'm really, really focusedon making sure I live in that
(12:12):
gain that you always live in.
The gain is at the end of theday, write down three wins for
that day.
Just do it in your planner.
At the end of the month, writedown all the wins you've had in
the month and like how much youprogressed.
And at the end of each quarter,do that the same way and like
really just try to focus on howfar you've come and don't worry
(12:34):
about as much of the things thatyou haven't achieved.
You are a high achiever anyway.
You're going to achieve highthings.
Like you don't have to worryabout the fact that you're
complacent, because chances are,if you listen to this podcast,
you're not somebody who isn't ahard worker and you're not
somebody who is complacent,right.
But I really truly believe, andlike science has showed this,
(12:55):
like read Daniel Savo in hisbooks.
He is amazing.
Looking at your progress willhelp you get to where you want,
to be quicker and make youhappier, right?
So, um, yeah, that is thesecond lesson I learned always
making sure you're in the gainrather than the gap.
Okay, so the third lesson Ilearned this year is that you
(13:17):
are in charge of your memoriesand it is your duty to view them
through a positive perspective.
So this actually came from abook that I read last year, and
it was a book by Joe Dispenza,but basically he talks about how
50% of our memories are false.
Like us, as humans, do a reallypoor job of memorizing and
(13:37):
remembering how things happenright, and because of that, why
not view everything through apositive perspective than a
negative perspective?
Like your brain really does notknow the difference.
This is why and I'm not sure ifthis happened to you before,
but it's happened to me Isometimes remember things that
literally did not happen to meas a kid.
Or my mom always tells me thisstory about how she, I think,
(14:00):
remembers going to a circus as achild, but actually her brother
went to the circus and hermemory is actually of her
brother telling her about theAll of that.
To say, we do not rememberthings very well, so why not
remember it from a positiveperspective rather than a
negative perspective, and howyou do that is actually through
viewing any challenge thatyou're going through as a
(14:22):
learning lesson.
I think it's easy, especially asan entrepreneur, when you like
have like bad meetings or youhave bad quarters or you just
have like have these like reallytough experience.
I mean like a lot of it camefrom raising capital for me, but
, like I think any person thatbuilds their own business has
gone through like a lot ofhardship sometimes, and as an
(14:43):
entrepreneur, it's really easyto just be like OK, like on to
the next thing, like I got tokeep going.
Anyone really who is workinghard in their career.
Like they have a really awfulmeeting with a client and
they're like okay, like justgonna push it aside and move on
to the next, move on to the next.
And for a while I was like thattoo, but I wasn't really
dealing with those experiencesand they were just buried in my
(15:04):
brain as negative emotions andthey were affecting the way I
was moving about this world.
And the key is is to not justlike push things to the side.
Is to not just like push thingsto the side is to look at your
past and think, okay, how couldthis be a positive.
What is the learning lessonLike?
How could I look at thisdifferently?
And once you figure it out howto frame that thing in a
(15:24):
positive light, then you canmove on and that is really the
way you make progress, ratherthan just like pushing these
experiences to the side.
You really need to look at yourexperiences and think okay, I'm
in charge of my memories.
How can I frame this as apositive experience?
And really honestly, I think oneof the truest things about life
is like give anything enoughtime you're thankful for it
(15:45):
happening, even the things thatyou cried about, the things that
you really wanted to get butdidn't get.
Like give it enough time andlike you would be thankful that
it didn't show up in your life,because one of the things that I
believe is that if it's not forme, I don't want it, and like I
get everything that is for meright.
So really, that is one of thekey lessons I learned this year
(16:06):
making sure that you look atevery experience that you have
had in the past and not justpush it aside.
Make sure that you are lookingat the experience as a positive
experience in some way.
Find the positive, becausethat's going to allow you to
move on from things a lotquicker and it's ultimately just
going to, like make you buildyour winner's story in your mind
(16:28):
, which is so important forachieving big things.
You can't look at your past andbe like that happened and that
wasn't fair, and this happenedand that hurt me, like that's
just going to drag you down toomuch.
So, in order to build yourwinter stories, take charge of
your memories and know thateverything that happened in the
past was a positive, because itgot you to the point that you
are now.
So that is the third lesson Ilearned.
(16:51):
Okay, and now the fourth lessonI learned was really a set of
lessons I learned from this bookcalled the Four Ingredients by
Miguel Ruiz.
It was a really good book,mostly because it was really
simple.
Again, like, this book wasn'tmind blowing, like the gap in
the game.
This book really taught methings I already knew, but I
thought it was just a reallyeasy way to go about life and
(17:13):
like things to remember, and ifI remember these four things
consistently, I'm gonna be a lothappier than I already am now,
and so I wanted to tell you guysabout it.
So I'm just gonna read you thefour agreements.
And so the first one and likethese are ways to live your life
is be impeccable with yourwords, which means don't say
anything that you don't wannacome true.
Don't gossip.
(17:36):
Like in the Bible says life anddeath is in the power of the
tongue.
Like it's really important notto say things out loud that are
negative.
Don't talk about yourself inways that you wouldn't talk
about somebody else.
Like be kind to yourself anduse your words as something that
have power.
So every time you speak, makesure you're speaking life rather
(17:56):
than death.
The second one is don't takeanything personally.
I love this one becausesometimes, like rather, you're
driving and someone gets roadrage with you and it really
hurts your spirit, or you're ina business call and somebody's
really off-handed to you or acustomer's really rude to you.
In a lot of ways it's reallyeasy to take things personally,
(18:18):
especially if you're anentrepreneur or somebody driving
hard in their career.
Oftentimes you face situationsand have conversations in which
people could be like reallyawful right, but realize like,
don't take anything personally.
That is really about somethingelse that's going on in your
life.
Especially if you don't knowthe person, chances are them
getting mad at you has nothingto do with you.
So don't take anythingpersonally.
The third one is don't makeassumptions.
(18:39):
This is really important.
We all know the old sayingassuming is making an ass out of
you and me.
It's really really true.
If somebody hasn't told youthey feel this way, don't assume
they do right.
Don't assume people are mad atyou and people aren't mad at you
.
Don't assume somebody knowswhat you're thinking if you
haven't told them right.
I think not assuming is superimportant to have healthy
(19:03):
relationships and just alsobeing happy.
I think we've all been insituations where we thought
somebody has been mad at us andthey haven't.
But like, you've built it up inyour head right?
So never assume.
And then the fourth one isalways do your best.
Now, a lot of us do thesethings naturally often, but like
, I think, having a reminder ofmaking sure to live your life by
these four agreements, it'sjust like a really easy way to
(19:25):
just like level up your liferight.
So the four agreements was agreat book.
I don't necessarily think youneed to read it, to be honest,
but these four rules which is beimpeccable with your words
don't take anything personally,don't make assumptions and
always do your best.
They're just four ways to liveyour life really, really well.
Okay, so I know I said I wasgoing to do four learning
(19:46):
lessons of 2024, but I honestlyhave a fifth one that I have to
share, and it's about gratitude.
I am somebody that practicesgratitude a lot and I'm always
looking for new ways to be ableto infuse gratitude more in my
life, and I think oftentimes,when life gets challenging, it
is kind of hard to like find thehappiness in certain situations
(20:09):
, right, like, sometimes thesituation just sucks.
But I actually learned this tipfrom the book the Gap and the
Gain, and it's the easiest wayto like make yourself be happy
and grateful for the life youhave and for the things that you
have when you are complaining,is to imagine yourself without
that thing.
For instance, towards the endof the year, I got a pinched
(20:32):
nerve in my leg, which wasreally just not fun, and I'm
somebody that loves to do a lotof running and it was hard and I
felt myself complaining aboutit a lot.
And the way to stop complainingrather than like be like, oh,
I'm grateful for the pinchednerve in your leg you could say
okay, like imagine your lifewithout your leg, and that will
stop your complainingimmediately.
(20:53):
And you could use this in somany different ways throughout
your life.
So let's say you're complainingabout a family member.
Imagine your life without thatfamily member.
You're complaining about acustomer.
Imagine your life without yourcustomer.
Like, at the end of the day,you want the money, so, like
imagine your life without thatmoney.
You're complaining about yourjob.
Imagine your life without a job.
Right, it's a really easy wayto like nip complaining right in
(21:14):
the bud before you go down thespiral of like whoa, it's me and
my life sucks and such and such.
And it's an easy way to notlike lie to yourself.
Sometimes I find it hard when,like something negative happens
and you like have to find likegratitude in it, and oftentimes
you will find the gratitude astime passes.
But a really easy way to justlike stop yourself from like
(21:35):
going down that negativity hillis just be like okay, what if I
didn't have X?
That's a lot worse.
And keep it pushing.
Like, okay, imagine yourselfwithout a car, you know.
So that is a really, reallysimple way to live a life with
more gratitude and happiness.
So that is a quick tip that,like I really think everyone
should implement into theirlives.
(21:55):
So those are the five biggestlessons that I learned in 2024
that I'm going to be taking into2025.
I have a really good feelingabout this upcoming year.
I'm really excited to takethese lessons I learned and
really be able to transform mylife even more for the better in
the upcoming years.
(22:16):
So just to go over what wetalked about scarcity is poison.
Make sure that you do not havea scarcity mindset and be honest
with yourself.
If you do have a scarcitymindset and oftentimes if you
find yourself like neglectingyour boundaries or letting go of
your boundaries, that istypically because of a scarcity
mindset.
So that was the first lesson.
(22:37):
The second lesson is alwayslive in the gain rather than the
gap.
So the gap is where you thinkyou could be, where you should
be, and the gain is all thethings that you've achieved, all
the ways that you progress.
So live your life through theeyes of the gain and then also
within that is making sure thatyour goals are not ideal, set
like real, tangible, necessarygoals rather than like ideal
(23:00):
goals.
And side note, that is nottelling yourself to not think
big, but it's really just makingsure that when you do achieve
that goal, it's not tarnishedbecause you only thought that
you could achieve it in thatexact way, and if you don't
achieve it in that exact way,and if you don't achieve it in
that exact way, it's a failure.
The third one is making surethat you view all your past
(23:21):
through a positive perspective.
Like I said, humans remember50% of things wrong and it's
really up to you, it is yourduty as a positive, balanced,
healthy, successful person, tolook at your past in a positive
light and then also, within that, making sure that when you go
through difficult situations,you don't just push it aside.
(23:42):
You actually examine thatsituation and look for the
lesson in it, look to see howyou can find the positive in it,
which is the lesson, and thenyou're able to actually move on
and let go.
The fourth lessons were fromthe four agreements, which were
be impeccable with your words.
Don't take anything personally,never assume and always do your
best.
Those are things that I think alot of us already do, but
(24:05):
having them distilled into thosefour rules, those four
agreements, it's just a reallyeasy thing to remember on a
daily basis.
And the fifth thing was allaround gratitude, the easy way
to stop complaining is thinkingabout your life without that
thing.
Gratitude is everything, andthe more gratitude you have in
life, the more successful youwill be.
So those are the five mostimportant things I learned this
(24:26):
year.
I am hoping and praying thatthis year is all that you
imagined and more, and I hopeyou guys have an amazing 2025.
And lastly, before I go, pleasemake sure to subscribe to this
podcast wherever you arelistening to it, whether it's on
YouTube, subscribe.
If you're on Apple Podcasts orSpotify, please follow it and
download.
(24:47):
It helps.
So so much and leave a comment.
Give it five stars and tell mewhat you'd like me to speak
about next.
Like I said, have an amazingnew year.
I'm praying that this new yearis the best ever, and thanks for
listening.
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