"I Fired Hospice (Kind Of) and My Oncologist Called Me Nuts." Sandy Shares her Near-Death, Faith-Filled Cancer Journey.

In the words of Sandy, God gets the glory, we share the story.  Listen as  Sandy shares her unfiltered journey from a 26-hour ER wait and a lymphoma diagnosis to months of failed chemo, hospice care, a second baptism, and a scan with no evidence of disease. The through line is time—how faith reshapes minutes, choices, and what we hold onto when nothing else stands still.

• background in rural nursing and Louisville, Georgia roots
• what follicular lymphoma is and how it erodes immunity
• early symptoms, misreads, and the sepsis scare
• insurance denial tied to COVID vaccination and treatment access
• failed chemo, brutal side effects, and daily losses
• choosing to stop treatment and finding unexpected peace
• hospice as structure, not surrender, amid unrelenting pain
• family reconciliation and shared remission with her brother
• baptism, overnight relief, and a clean PET scan
• a skeptical oncologist’s perspective changed by outcomes
• the clock vision and “While in the Waiting” message
• practical encouragement for patients to keep faith and reorder priorities

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Episode Transcript

SPEAKER_01 (00:34):
I would like to introduce Sandy.
Sandy hells from the great cityof Louisville, Georgia.
And a little fact aboutLouisville, Georgia, is it's
actually Georgia's firstofficial capital.
Not Savannah, as most peoplethink.
Savannah was the capital duringthe colonial times, but after

(00:54):
the American Revolution, um,Louisville was the first capital
of Georgia, um, under the UnitedStates.
And it was capital from 1796 to1806.
Uh, Sandy, if you got any extrahistory you'd like to add about
Louisville?

SPEAKER_00 (01:12):
No, if you've never been, you should come because
our courthouse is beautiful.

SPEAKER_01 (01:17):
Yeah, I was reading that it was built in uh 1906.
Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 (01:22):
And they've been doing right, and they've been
doing a little work on it, andso they it it's really like the
original jail is still there andthey've redone it and all it I
mean, you should just come.
I mean, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:37):
Yeah, and then um I was reading there's an American
Revolution Cemetery there thatyou can visit as well.
That's right.
Sandy worked as a nurse.
Sandy, you're still a nurse,right?
I am.
Okay, so what kind of nurse wereyou for the longest time?
Like geriatric.
Geriatric yeah, rural healthcare.

(02:01):
In September of 2021, Sandy wasdiagnosed with follicular
lymphoma, double B cell cancer.
Uh Sandy, can you explainexactly what that cancer is?

SPEAKER_00 (02:17):
So um a lot of people when they hear follicular
lymphoma, they're like, oh, I Iknow what that is, you know,
that's uh blood cancer.
Well, and I and I actuallythought that.
But when I was given thatdiagnosis, I started doing a lot
of research, got on a lot ofwebinars, actually joined the uh

(02:42):
Leukemia Lymphoma Society, andyou know, got a lot of resources
from them.
But what it is, is it is it is ablood cancer, but it affects
your immunity, so it affectsyour lymph nodes.
It it causes you to basically towipe out your immunity, you have

(03:05):
nothing.
A lot of times it transformsinto other cancers.
It is one of the cancers thatwill transform into a more
aggressive form of cancer.
A lot of times it for somereason it goes to the lungs.
And as you'll hear, I mean, youknow, mine it it didn't go to

(03:28):
the lungs, it went other places.

SPEAKER_01 (03:30):
So my goodness.
So before you were diagnosed,what did you think was wrong
with you?
Like what were some of thethings you were noticing?

SPEAKER_00 (03:38):
So I noticed that I was tired.
Like I but I worked a lot, Iworked long hours, I traveled.
Um, and so I thought that it wasjust from working so much.
Um, and I kept thinking, if Ican just make it to my vacation,
if I can just make it to myvacation.
And I noticed probably aboutthree weeks before I was

(04:03):
diagnosed that I could not bendmy left leg.
Uh in my growing area, it wassore.
And then I started noticing thatthere was like big, huge knots.
I just kept thinking, I as anurse, I thought that my lymph
noduct was stocked up.

(04:24):
And so I was like, maybe I justneed some antibiotics.
So I said, well, I'm gonna rideit out.
And so I tried to ride it out.
Uh matter of fact, uh a fewnights before I ended up giving
in to go to the hospital, uh,some friends was over for
supper, and I my dining roomtable at that time was high top

(04:46):
chairs, and I told them Icouldn't sit in them because I
could not even get up in thatchair, but I couldn't stand for
my leg to be bent and thepressure on it.
If I could stretch my leg out,it was a little bit tolerable.
But if it was bent, I could nottolerate the pain.
But other than that, and Inoticed that I was having severe

(05:09):
night sweats at night.
I would wake up and my bedlinens would be soaked.
It got to the point where we hadto sleep with the ceiling fan on
high and the floor fan, um, astanding floor fan on high
blowing right on me to even beable to sleep some.
Um, so I knew something wasgoing on, but as a nurse, you

(05:33):
you don't want to reach out forhelp.
You you think that it'll pass.
Would you say nurses are some ofthe worst patients?
Yes, they are.
I hear that all the time.
Doctors and nurses are the worstpatients.
And and I and you know, lookingback on it when I was going
through my journey and andthinking back, you know, you

(05:54):
always hindsight 2020.
Well, what if I'd have gone on?
You know, would things have notprogressed like they did?
Or would my treatment would nothave been as long?
But I I still say everythinghappens the way it should happen
because it is God's plan.

SPEAKER_01 (06:15):
Right.
So you were getting ready for uhwork one morning and you got
that dreaded phone call.
Can you explain kind of likethat conversation and then what
occurred over the next few days?

SPEAKER_00 (06:29):
So I finally gave in.
I went I went to uh an emergencyroom.
It was still during the wholeCOVID pandemic, and me and my
husband actually laid my head inhis lap, my feet were in a
wheelchair, and we sat in awaiting in a waiting room at an

(06:50):
ER for 26 hours um waiting to beseen.
Finally, it got seen.
They gave me some medicine, theydid a CT scan, and they said
they could see that there wasseveral swollen lymph nodes, and
it looked like maybe one of themwas abscessed.
They wanted me to go home andtake the antibiotics and then
follow up with primary care.

(07:13):
I did that in three or fourdays.
I was so sick, I literally couldnot move.
And so I ended up going to oneof my friends that was actually
my GYN doctor, calling her, andshe told my husband to bring me
on over, so did, and she saidthat I was septic.
So they admitted me to thehospital the next day.

(07:34):
I had a surgeon to come in, andso he was like, You're gonna
have to have emergency surgery.
So I did, move forward, had thesurgery, I came home about seven
or it was either seven or ninedays later, about seven thirty
in the morning.
I was in the bathroom.
I I literally, it was like itwas five minutes ago.

(07:57):
I can still close my eyes andsee it.
I was brushing my teeth and Ihad my phone laying on the
counter and I looked down and itthen it had my friend that was
my GYN's name come up, and I waslike, why is she calling me at
7:30 in the morning?
So I answered it and she waslike, What are you doing?
And I said, getting ready forwork, and I said, Why are you

(08:18):
calling me at 7:30 in themorning?
And she said, Um, well, DaraBates wanted to call you, but
I'm calling you.
And she said, I just wanted tolet you know that we got your
pathology report back, and Ineed you to come to the office.
It came back, you have cancer.
I can remember turning aroundand letting the lid down on the

(08:42):
toilet and sitting down on thetoilet, and like I just I
couldn't even say anything, andshe was crying, and I was
crying, and so we ended up Isaid, Well, I'll okay, and so
she said, Come after lunch.
So I went, I said, okay, I'llcome after lunch.
So I went on and hung the phoneup, and I just sat there for a
little while.
And then I I remember coming outof the bathroom, and I remember

(09:04):
telling my husband, you know,that was Dr.
So and so, and she said, I havecancer.
And he's like, What?
Yeah, and I have to go today.
And so, anyway, so we went andshe got me right on into
oncology.
Uh, that day I actually sawsomebody, not the doctor she

(09:25):
wanted me to see, but I saw adifferent doctor.
I mean, like I can still, like Isaid, today, I can still think
back to that moment, and it'slike I'm reliving it all over
again.
It's that you hear people saythat numbing effect, it was a
numbing effect.
It was like, yeah, dreaming, isthis real?
I can't believe you had to sitsit 26 hours in the ER.

(09:49):
26 hours, and it was packed.
I mean, people were everywherewith masks, and uh I'll never
forget it because um it was aFriday night, and one of the
guys' kids from uh where we livegot hurt at the ball game
playing ball, and his mombrought him in after that when

(10:12):
they found out that you knowturned out and I had cancer.
She was like, Is that what wasgoing on with you that night?
And she was like, We justcouldn't wait any longer.
And I was like, Well, we waited26 hours.
I mean, it was just yeah, youknow, but I I I I was at the
point, I was at their mercy, youknow.
It didn't matter if it had been30 hours.

(10:33):
I mean, I I had to get some kindof help.

SPEAKER_01 (10:35):
I I was sick, but some kind of relief, yeah.
I just can't imagine, like, youknow, does your life like flash
before your eyes when you'retold when you're given that kind
of news?

SPEAKER_00 (10:48):
I don't say that my life flashed in front of my
eyes, but I can remember so manydays going through that first
couple of weeks afterwards,thinking like, and I'm gonna
share this, but I was thinkinglike I have wasted so much of my
life over nonsense, over stuffthat doesn't even matter the

(11:14):
name.
I I don't, you know, I don'tknow if I'm gonna make it
through the next month.
You know, why did I do that?
And I I can even remember havingthat conversation, you know,
with my husband.
Why, if I could turn back thehands of time, know what I know
now, things would be sodifferent.
And remember for probably threeor four weeks, I just kept

(11:36):
saying that and just thinking tomyself, what if I don't get that
next Christmas?
What if I don't get my child'snext birthday?
Just have a lot of what ifs.
It's like, where do you, it'salmost like you're at a and and
I just I described this one timeto somebody in a t when I gave

(11:56):
my testimony.
I said it was like I was at adead end road and there was a
wall.
I couldn't see over it, Icouldn't see around it, all I
could do was stare it straightin the face and and and just
hope and pray.
I mean, that's all I could do.
I mean That's all you had.
That's that's good insight.

(12:17):
I think about you know, so manytimes before that, before I got
diagnosed, how I would justcome, you know, come back from a
trip for work on Friday and Iwould be so tired.
And on Saturday and Sunday, allI wanted to do was rest and do
my laundry and get my groceryshopping done or whatever, pay

(12:37):
my bills or whatever.
And I would be like, you know,I'll go to church next Sunday.
You know, I but when that inthat moment, it's like I don't
have I might not even have nextSunday.
You know, I started really timebecame important to me.
Not just the next hour, it wasthe next minute.

SPEAKER_01 (13:00):
The next minute.

SPEAKER_00 (13:02):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (13:02):
Oh my.
Your doctor's coming up withyour plan, and you're gonna
start your treatments.
But can you share this crazyrequirement that can you share
with the audience what youshared with me about insurance
and covet?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (13:19):
So um, like I shared, everything from from
that day that I first sawoncology, it is like putting a
cassette tape in the cassetteplayer and hitting play and fast
forward at the same time.
I mean, that literally is how Ifelt because everything moved so

(13:39):
fast.
I had the appointment, they umscheduled me for a pet scan, um,
they scheduled me for bonemarrow biopsy, and then they
scheduled me for a portplacement.
And then all of this happenedwithin like a two-week span.
Everything was rocking along.

(14:00):
Uh, I finally did see theoncologist that I was supposed
to see.
She gave me the definitediagnosis and said, you know,
we've got a plan.
This is what we're gonna do.
You know, come back nextWednesday, Thursday.
I can't even remember, I thinkit was Wednesday, um, and you'll
get your uh chemo education, andthen we'll start, we'll go ahead

(14:22):
and do the treatment at the sametime.
So you since you live adistance, so I go that day to
get my chemo treatment, and whenI get in there, they're like,
um, there's a small problem, andI was like, what is it?
And when the doctor sent yournotes to insurance for them to
approve your chemo treatments,they sent back a denial for your

(14:48):
chemo due to you have not takenthe COVID vaccine.
And I said, I'm not taking theCOVID vaccine.
You don't I'm not taking it.
Yeah, I didn't take it and I'mnot gonna take it.
And they were like, Well, it's aproblem.
If you don't take the COVIDvaccine, they do not have to pay
for your chemo treatments.

(15:10):
Well, you know, like what's thenext option?
Well, there is no other option,you know.
It's either you get the COVIDvaccine and you can get your
treatments, and the insurancewill pay for it.
This is unbelievable.
Or you can pay your treatmentsout of pocket.
And I said, I don't have thatkind of money.
They had already gotten on thephone with this other hospital
that has an outpatient officedown the street and set up for

(15:34):
me to get the vaccine.
Went down, got the vaccine.
They told me that I would haveto get the next, but I had to
get both vaccines before to meetthe requirement.
But they didn't want to wait forme to get the second vaccine
before starting the treatment.

(15:54):
So if I agreed that I would getthe second vaccine, they would
go ahead and start thetreatment.
So they told me to come back.
I had to wait, it was either 48or 72 hours before I could start
my treatment.
And then I came back and gotstarted on my treatments.
And then a week after startingmy treatments, I went back and

(16:15):
got my next um COVID injection.
So yeah, I I was forced to getthe COVID vaccine.
I I didn't have a choice.
I mean, because I they werethose treatments were expensive,
and you know, and then it waslike in my mind I was thinking,
well, then they could say, well,we're not gonna pay for this
scan or that scan, and then weget into a big old mess.

(16:38):
And so I just went on and gotit.

SPEAKER_01 (16:40):
I don't I mean, I don't blame you.
There's no way you could haveafforded any of those
treatments.
Yeah, on your own.
So you started chemo inSeptember, and then January you
went in for your first test, isthat right?
I went in for a repeat Pan.
Yeah, yeah.

(17:01):
And you found out that the chemowas not working, right?

SPEAKER_00 (17:05):
That's right.
Which they already sort ofthought that because my lives
were not changing.
My my my numbers were notchanging.
So um when I had the PET scan,they told me that, you know,
nothing had changed.
And so they wanted to change upthe chemo regimen.
Well, when they changed up thechemo regimen, it required for

(17:28):
me to literally be there whenthe center opened at 8:30 and
they closed at 5.
And most of the time I was stillthere at 15 and 20 after 5,
getting taken off the treatment.
The one thing I I can say aboutthe chemo treatments, I I lost
all my dignity.

(17:49):
I I had none.
I mean, I'm sitting in a roomwith 50 to 60 people getting
chemo treatments and the firstcouple of treatments until they
figured out what worked for me.
I mean, I would be throwing upin trash cans and because barf
bags would not hold it.
So I had to throw up in trashcans.
Oh my gosh.
Yeah, in front of everybody.
Yeah, I mean, these people wouldjust be looking at me, you know,

(18:11):
like, and and and now I, youknow, think I think about it and
I'm like, they're over therethinking, probably, yeah, we've
done been down that road.
And so once they figured it outthough, you know, when I'd get
there, they'd uh go ahead andgive me something in my port for
nausea.
And then they would give mesomething and knock me out for

(18:32):
the first hour of my treat.
But it it was a toll on myfamily and my friends because
they had to take me, they had todrive me to my treatment, and
then they had to sit there whileI was going through the
treatment.
They were sitting in a straightchair, they didn't get to sit in
a reclining chair.
I mean, I I I'm thankful for myfamily and my friends during

(18:54):
that that time because I mean itwas not easy on them.
It was hard on me, but it wasn'teasy on them either.

SPEAKER_01 (19:01):
I want to repeat the length of your treatment.
So when you when they upped yourchemo, that you had to sit in
that chair and get the infusionfrom 8 30 until 5 15 or 5 20
after they were closing.
That's right.
After closing time.

SPEAKER_00 (19:19):
And I had the best chemo nurse.
Uh I had the same chemo nursethe whole time, except for when
she went out on maternity leave.
And we got to know each other ona I say on a friendship level.
Like I I got to know where shewas from, about her dynamics,

(19:40):
her family, you know.
She got to know about mine.
You know, when you're withsomebody that much, you develop
a bond.
A treatment nurse, you have tohave it in your heart.
Because I I think about it now,I think about how many people
were taking treatments when Iwas that they didn't make it,

(20:01):
you know.
They would you'd go and then afew months they wouldn't show
up, and I'd be like, Well, whathappened to so?
And they would be like, Theypassed on or whatever.
Um, and those people, you know,they get attached to to the
patients, and then they have togrieve them losing them.
And so a treatment nurse has tohave a heart.

SPEAKER_01 (20:22):
Oh, yeah.
I agree.
That's how I always feel abouthospice nurses, too.

SPEAKER_00 (20:28):
Yes.
Yes, I had a wonderful, awonderful hospice nurse.

SPEAKER_01 (20:33):
Well so we'll get into that in just a little bit.
Yeah, she definitely has aheart.
Yeah.
Um, so how many chemo infusionswould you say that you went
through?

SPEAKER_00 (20:47):
I think between the immunotherapy and the chemo
treatments, I I I was trying tofigure it up going through my
calendar and all my dates, but Iwant to say it's somewhere
between 50 and 62 treatmentsbetween chemo and immunotherapy.
Oh man.

(21:08):
And I mean, it it was like awell, I'll get into that.
I know you weren't gonna ask meprobably, but there, how how
sick.
I know people see on TV andpeople probably have had family
members to go through treatmentsand all of that, but I'm so
thankful for the treatments.

(21:29):
But the treatments in itself isso harsh on the mind and the
body, mentally and physically.

SPEAKER_01 (21:36):
Oh my goodness.
So, which one do you thinkworked better?
Could you tell the differencebetween the immunotherapy and
the chemotherapy?

SPEAKER_00 (21:45):
I think the chemotherapy worked better.
Um now it was it was harsher onmy body.
That is when I really starteddeveloping a lot of the issues.
The immunotherapy, at you know,when I finished my chemo and
they wanted me to go back to theimmunotherapy, and um when I

(22:08):
went back and my skins wereclear, um, but I said no, and
I'll still say today if it comesback, I I won't take another
treatment.
You won't chemo or chemo, I willnot.

SPEAKER_01 (22:23):
So, what were some of the side effects that you
started feeling?

SPEAKER_00 (22:28):
Well, I went from using a rollator walker to a
wheelchair.
I lost all feelings in my feetand lower legs from neuropathy,
from chemo-induced neuropathy.
I started developing um severeshortness of breath because I
was developing um retainingfluid on my heart, um,

(22:51):
congestive heart failure.
And somewhere around between the11th and the 15th treatment,
that's when they think it reallystarted.
But I started developing hearingloss.
I could not hear, more so out ofmy left ear than my right.
My vision was blurry.
I I just had no strength.

(23:12):
Then I started developing whereI was falling.
Uh, so I couldn't get up.
Um, I couldn't stand on my legs,they were so weak.
And my hands, my fingers, uh, Ideveloped trigger finger, and
all my fingers were drawing in,and I couldn't straighten them
out.
And I just have to pull themout, manually pull them back

(23:33):
out.
But my thumb, I could never getit to come back out, so they had
to end up doing surgery to tocut it to make it come back out.
And I I could go on and on.
I mean, like, even to this day,I still have so many lingering
side effects from the chemo.
And I want to add, even they'retaking the COVID vaccine.

(23:56):
I got COVID.
I had COVID, Christmas of 21,and Christmas of 22.
Christmas of 21, I had COVID sosevere.
And I know that I got it in theinfusion center because there
were patients there coughing,and but I had it so severe, I
could not literally even open myeyes.
I didn't even know it wasChristmas.

(24:17):
Um, it was like uh three or fouror five days after Christmas is
sort of when I started comingback to with it, but I was so
sick.
Having no immunity, you pick upeverything on top of all that I
had going on, then I had COVID.

SPEAKER_01 (24:33):
So oh my goodness.
When did you decide that youwere just done with everything?

SPEAKER_00 (24:43):
So in um the beginning of 23, I knew
something wasn't right, but Ididn't know what.
I was I was still going throughthe treatments, but I had
started having severe leg pain,like so severe I could not
sleep, worst pain ever.
And I was just constantly eatingTylenol and iviprofen.

(25:07):
Um, I was already on thegabapentin for the neuropathy.
They had tried me on anothermedicine, but it caused me to
have memory loss, short-timememory loss, so I had to stop
it.
But I knew something was notright.
I had sort of made up in mymind, like, I think I'm just
gonna stop the treatments.
We rocked on, and the oncologistwas like, Well, it's about time

(25:31):
for your repeat PET scan, andlet's get that done, and then
we'll go from there.
I went and had the PET scandone, and she called me and said
I needed to come to the office.
And I was like, Well, normallywe just, you know, you call me
over the phone with resultssince I lived so far.
And she was like, Well, I reallyneed you to come to the office.
Well, I knew as a nurse that'snot a good sign.

(25:53):
That day I prayed.
One of my friends took mebecause I could not drive.
Uh, somebody had to get me inthe car, get me out of the car,
put me in a wheelchair.
So one of my friends drove methat day to the oncology office.
And I remember when we pulledup, I just sat there in the car

(26:14):
and I closed my eyes and I juststarted praying.
And I said, God, whateverhappens, you're either gonna
heal me on this side or you'rethey're gonna heal me on the
other side.
So either way, I'm gonna win.
Right, yeah.
That's right.
Yeah, I said, either way, I'mgonna win.
So take me in this office with adifferent mindset.

(26:34):
I went in there, went in theroom, and uh she came in and so
she her normal thing, you know,she assessed me, how's things
going, blah, blah, blah.
And so she said, Well, got yourpet skin results, and you have
it has metastasized to yourthigh bone.

(26:55):
It appears to be a tumor in yourthigh bone on the same side
where they had removed the lymphnodes.
And so she was like, you know,we can try a different type of
regimen, we can do this, we can,you know, just different
options.
And I was I'm done.
And so she says, What do youmean?
And I said, I'm done.

(27:17):
If you've done everything youcan and you're grasping at
straws, then it is time.
It's it's me and Jesus.
You and Jesus.
I told her it's me and Jesus.
And she looked at me and shesaid, I think you're making a
mistake.
I said, No, I'm not making amistake.
I said, I have allowed man to dowhat man can do.

(27:42):
Now I'm gonna allow Jesus to dowhat he can do.
And I said, when I pulled uphere today, I told him, let me
go in here with a differentmindset, because either way, I'm
going to win.
He's either gonna heal me hereor he's gonna heal me when he
takes me home.
So either way, I'm going to bethe winner.

(28:05):
She was like, Well, I reallythink you're making a bad
mistake.
I I just, you know, and she justkept on and on.
And she was like, Well, howabout you go home and think
about it?
And I said, Okay, I'll go homeand think about it.
So I get up, they roll me out tothe front, my friend's sitting
in the waiting room.
She rolls me out to the car,checkout, and sweet little guy

(28:25):
at the checkout.
Every time he'd say, You gotthis, we're gonna beat this.
We're gonna, you know, he alwayswas trying to be positive.
Anyway, I went on past him andgot in the car, and I I just
remember if my friend was onhere, she probably would speak
too.
I remember that ride home.

(28:48):
I remember that ride home thatday and thinking this is not how
I imagine my life to be.
This is the way God planned it.
Yeah, and so I just startedtelling her, you know, I'm gonna
do so and so.

(29:09):
I I've got to do so and so, andI want to do so and so, and and
she was like, Okay, well, we'llmake it happen, we'll do
whatever.
And so I was like, I'm going tothe beach, I've got to go to the
beach.
It's like, I mean, the beach ismy happy place, it's always been
my happy place.
And so I said, I have to go tomy happy place, and so she said,

(29:33):
You want to go today?
I was like, No, we're not goingtoday.
I'm too exhausted.
We can't go today, we got toplan.
And so I just left it like that.
But I remember that ride home,and I remember looking out the
window thinking, I have trulyjust faced faith straight in the
face.

(29:54):
When I stepped out, I steppedout on faith.
But it was faith.
Yeah, but you know I I tellpeople when they say, Well, how
do how does that feel?
I don't want this to soundcrazy, but I literally felt
relieved that day.

(30:16):
I felt like I had literally beenrunning a marathon and I had
just crossed the finish line.
And this past Sunday, ourpastor, he did the last series
for the month of January, andthe title of the series was
Finishing the Race.
And it really, really took meback to that day when I went out

(30:39):
of that oncology office and theway I felt, and thinking, either
way, I'm gonna win.
But facing faith, when you trulysay, I'm stepping out on faith,
I'm I'm I'm I'm cutting ties andI'm stepping out on faith.
Most people would feel like, oh,I just feel like a ton of

(30:59):
bricks.
I'm I I I've dreaded this day orwhatever.
I didn't.
I felt relieved.
I felt like God was telling me,I've tried to show you and you
would not look.
You finally opened your eyes andyou have finally given it to me.
That's how I felt.

(31:20):
It was uh I have stepped out onfaith on a lot of situations,
but that day stepping out onfaith was totally different.

SPEAKER_01 (31:29):
Totally different.
So, how did your family feelabout your decision when you
told them you're done withchemotherapy?

SPEAKER_00 (31:38):
At first they were upset.
They said that I was beingselfish.
Them and my friends.
My friends, they were like,You've always been a fighter.
Why are you giving up now?
That's just selfish.
If you don't care aboutyourself, you know, like I heard
all everything.
And so finally, I mean, I justtold my family, I'm the one that

(32:01):
has battled it.
I'm the one that has gonethrough this, I'm the one that
has suffered so bad, been sosick, have had no life, I have
disrupted y'all's life,everybody's life.
It's time I can talk about itall day long, but it is time for
me to put the talk in action.
And I am truly stepping out onfaith and laying it at Jesus'

(32:23):
feet.
And they were fine with it.
After we had that conversationand I laid it out like that,
they were fine with it.
They were like, Well, you haveto make the decision.
And it was rough.

SPEAKER_01 (32:39):
I bet I mean, yeah, they just they didn't want to
lose you.

SPEAKER_00 (32:42):
Yeah, that's where that was coming from.
It it was, and and and knowingthat my children had lost their
father when my son was dead andmy daughter was five, and
knowing that here here here theygo again, you know, they're
gonna be they're gonna have tobury their mama.
I that played over and over inmy mind so many times, but I

(33:08):
cannot describe the feeling thateven though all that and my
friends saying I was giving upand you know, blah, blah, blah,
I still had the greatest peace.
I mean, it was like if Iwouldn't have been in so much
pain, I probably could haveslept like a newborn baby.

(33:30):
I mean, I'm just telling you, Iwas at such peace.
And all and and now looking backall that time, I mean, like
every day I was literallyworking myself up thinking, you
know, what's gonna happen next?
Is this treatment working?
It was always the what ifs, orwhat if it ain't working, or

(33:52):
what if it is working, and thenwhat's gonna be the next step?
Am I gonna have a normal life?
But after that day, it was likeno more questions.
It was like a piece.

SPEAKER_01 (34:02):
So that was in March of 2022?
2023.
Okay.
So when you stopped alltreatment, of course the cancer
didn't stop, your tumorscontinued to grow.
Is that correct?
Okay, and then um in May, youdecided that you were ready for

(34:22):
hospice.

SPEAKER_00 (34:24):
Well, again, that wasn't my decision.

SPEAKER_01 (34:28):
It wasn't your decision.

SPEAKER_00 (34:29):
My family was at wits in.
I mean, like it the pain, myfamily and friends was like,
something's gotta give.
I mean, like the pain was sobad.
I I can remember them trying toget me up to get me to the
bathroom, and I'd say just sitme in the floor, and I literally
would lay on the hardwood floor,and I literally would scream and

(34:50):
holler.
The pain was so severe, and Ididn't want to take any pain
medicine because I knew all theside effects of it.
And I was if I'm gonna step outon faith, I'm stepping out on
faith, and no, I'm not gonna dothat.
But then it got to be so bad atnight, I would have to take a
pain med a pain pill.
The day I would take Tylenol andibuprofen, and it was so

(35:12):
miserable.
Like I was miserable to thepoint where I couldn't eat, I
couldn't, uh I mean, I was justI wouldn't drink, I wouldn't do
anything.
So my family finally said,enough's enough, and so they
said, either you're gonna makethe decision or we're gonna make
the decision.
And we all made the decision.

(35:34):
Hospice came and talked, and Isaid, Give me, you know, till
tomorrow, and I'll make adecision tomorrow.
I did.
I made the decision the nextday, and they admitted me to
hospice, and they came with ahospital bed, but I didn't want
to go to the hospital bed.
I wanted to stay in my bed untilit got to the point where I

(35:54):
couldn't even lift my head oranything.
I was aspirating.
My oxygen sats were in thetoilet, so they were having to
put me on oxygen, and so thenthey moved me to the hospital
bed, and it was in the back ofmy house, in a room in the back
of my house, and it was dark.
There was a lamp there at thebedside, and you know, every day

(36:17):
from that day when I went tothat hospital bed, every day I I
mean I would be awake mostnights, but in the mornings I
would be looking over thewindow, the curtain and the the
blinds, looking for thatsunrise, looking for daylight.
And I would say, God, just letme see one more sunrise, let me

(36:39):
see one more daylight.
I I begged every day, and I did.
And and you know, and then Istarted really, I mean, when
you're at that point, you youhave all you have, it is just
you and Jesus.
It it truly is because yourfamily still has their life to
live, they're still going towork, they're still your

(37:00):
friends, they have their jobs,they have their life, they have
their family.
So it's just you and Jesus dayand night.
And I'm just telling you, theconversations I had, like I I I
would tell, I I can remembersaying, God, if you'll just get
me up out of this bed and giveme my help back, I promise you

(37:23):
my priorities will be different.
I I can remember saying that somany days, and I would say, you
know, you will be my number onepriority, my family will be
second, but most of all, I willshare what you have done for me.
And I I've just kept saying thatover every day.
Eventually it got to the pointwhere I mean I didn't know

(37:44):
daylight from dark, really.
I mean, I I didn't even knowwhat day it was.
I didn't even know you didn'teven know people were coming or
leaving, or they said I wassaying stuff and talking, and
and I my friends say now theytell me stories about me talking
to my granddaddy.
They never knew anything aboutit.

(38:04):
Even my husband didn't even knowanything about it, and they were
saying that I was talking to mygranddaddy about this porcelain
cat that he gave me when I was akid, like seeing it over again
and like telling him, you know,that that cat was so pretty,
that green and white cat, oh youknow, just they didn't even know

(38:24):
anything about it.
So they knew that I was talkingto him, you know, and and I know
as a nurse when when whenpatients start talking to family
members and loved ones that'sgone on, they say that they're
getting close.

SPEAKER_01 (38:40):
The end is near, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (38:41):
Yeah, that's right.

SPEAKER_01 (38:43):
Yeah.
Now while you were in you weretalking about painkillers and
stuff.
So while you were in hospice,did you allow them to give you
the high dosages of thepainkillers and those, you know,
those anti-anxiety drugs likeAdavan.
Did you allow any of that?
I did.

SPEAKER_00 (39:03):
I I did.
They had the regimen set up, andmy family and my friends would
give me my medicine, how theyhad it set up.
They were giving me painmedicine, but they were also
giving me methadone because theysaid something about the
receptors and it makes the painmedicine work longer or
something.
I don't know.
But the doses they were givingme was just astronomical.

(39:28):
I mean, like something you wouldgive a five or six hundred-pound
person.
And I before I really went likeout of it, I I can still
remember that pain.
I was still having that pain,even taking the medicine,
because I even made the commentto my husband, like, I'm not
taking any more of thatmedicine, it's not working, I'm

(39:48):
still in pain, you know.
And him getting me up at nightand setting me on a shower
chair, letting hot water run onmy legs, thinking that that was
going to help the pain.
I mean, so the pain medicinenever really took me out of
pain.
Make me go to sleep.
I mean, you know, and as thedays rocked on because I wasn't

(40:08):
eating, I mean, like it was tothe point that my family would
have to go over to the apartmentto heat up food to eat, or
either go out and eat, getsomething out and eat outside or
whatever.
I could not take the smell ofanything being heated up in the
microwave or anything.

(40:30):
It it just, I mean, it was likemy whole body was shutting down
and I was just so sick.
And and I I just I can stillthink about having that
conversation.
Like I, I mean, you know, theyhad a reclining chair like
really close to my hospital bed,and people would come and they
would sit in that, or either,you know, my family would sit

(40:52):
there.
That's where my husband slept atnight.
Um, but um, I can rememberwaking up and and looking over
there and saying it it's it'stime.
I mean, I can still remember myhusband saying, time for what?
And I kept saying, It's time,it's time, it's time.

(41:14):
I literally at that point I wasbegging.
I I literally was begging God,God, please turn this around.
Take me home or heal me.
I can't take it anymore.
You know, I I just I wasmiserable.
I literally was and in hospice,like I said, I had a wonderful
hospice nurse.
Oh my goodness.

(41:35):
My husband, you know, he wouldcall her or call the on-call and
she would call or she wouldcome.
And and before I got to thepoint where I really didn't even
know what was going on, I mean,I was a basket case because like
I was like, God, have I done theright thing?
You know, I kept replaying it inmy mind, going on hospice, or

(41:56):
should I have just let you justwork it out?
You know, I kept replaying that.
If I walked out on faith, thenwhy did I get hospice?
You know, and I just kept and Iwould have that conversation
with her, and she would be like,Well, sometimes God puts people
in places to help you, and he'sput us here to help you, and
that's what she just keptsaying.

(42:17):
And I would say, you know, Iknow that I'm I'm crazy, and I
know when you come, I'm crazy,you know, and she'd be like, No,
you're not, you know, and shejust had she sometime, and I
know she had her patient load,but she would just pull up a
chair and just sit there.
I mean, literally just sitthere, and sometimes it would be
in silence, and that's why I saypeople working in oncology and

(42:42):
hospice, they have to have aheart, they have to have a
different mindset because I meanyou get close to somebody and
then they're gone over and overand over.
But I mean, she was a blessingto us.
Yeah, so I am thankful forhospice.

(43:04):
Looking back on it now, at thattime I was questioning God.
I said I walked out on faith andI turned my back on the
oncologist, but yet here I havehospice.
Did I do the right thing?
But looking back on it now, Godused hospice as a vessel.
They were a vessel to help meweather the storm that he was

(43:26):
carrying me through.

SPEAKER_01 (43:27):
So, how did your family relationships change,
like particularly with yourbrother?

SPEAKER_00 (43:34):
My mama always would say, saying, no matter how bad
things get, something goodalways comes from bad.
That's what she would say to meall the time.
And I would be like, okay,whatever.
I literally got to see that.
Growing up, we had some familydynamics.

(43:55):
You know, my dad was analcoholic, and we didn't always
have the best life.
After 40-something years ofmarriage, and my parents
divorced, my dad could neverwrap his head around it, and
things happen.
Well, that sort of put a wedgebetween me and my brother, and I
only have one sibling, andthat's my brother.

(44:17):
And it put a wedge, and and Ihad some animosity because I was
like, you walked away and livedyour life.
Before I actually got diagnosedwith my cancer, I was praying,
you know, after my mom passedaway in 2020, actually today,
five years ago, I startedpraying, God, mend that

(44:42):
relationship with my brother.
Please put us back together.
And I kept praying it andpraying it and praying it.
My family, when we'd sit down,you know, and have prayer, I'd
always pray it.
And um, then when I got sick, II had a reclining chair by my
living room window, and myblinds would be open during the

(45:03):
day because my immune system wasso low, I would either have to
see people through video oreither they would come to the
window or whatever because theycouldn't come and visit for for
a while.
But I would watch my brotherturn come to the stop sign and
turn out by my house, and I'dpray.
And little did I know that Godwas working, He was working, He

(45:28):
was working on that situationwhile he was working on me.
Now, brother, as I was battlingmy cancer summer of uh 23, when
I went on hospice, my brothergot diagnosed with stage four
colon cancer.
Had 11-hour surgery, uh, and hadmetastasized to his liver.

(45:50):
And when they called me, afriend of mine called me and
told me I started praying.
I prayed so hard.
I said, God, if you gotta takeus, take me, don't take him.
Please take me, don't take him.
I said that over and over andover and over and over.

(46:13):
And the day he got out of thehospital from his colon surgery,
he had his wife to bring him by.
I I don't remember it, but myfamily tells me and they tell me
now.
But um they he had her sh he hadher to bring him by to see me.
And they said he stood over mybed and he said, You've always

(46:36):
been a fighter.
Now get up out that bed, becauseyour family needs you.
We need you, and you just needto get on up out that bed.
You quit laying in that bed andget out that bed.
And he said, they said he I hejust kept saying it over and
over, and he left.
And then he'd come back a coupleof more times, they said, to
visit and talk to me.

(46:58):
And and they would leave him inthe room with me and he would
talk to me.
Now I don't know what he said,that he he they said he would
talk to me.
When I came through my cancer, Iprayed.
I said, God, why are you givingme that Christmas or that

(47:18):
Thanksgiving?
Let me just share it with mybrother.
Well, this past Christmas wecelebrated Christmas together
for the first time since 2015.
Nine years back in January.
I know I gotta share this, justso people can see how there is

(47:38):
power in prayer.
Back in January of um 2024, ourchurch had a January sisterhood,
and the pastor's wife gave us apiece of paper, and she said, I
want you to write down the fivethings that you've you've been
praying about that you're gonnabe carrying into 2024 praying.

(48:04):
And on that list, I made a list,and on there I wrote to mend my
relationship with my brother, mysister-in-law, and my nephew.
Please just let us be together.
So this Christmas, when we hadum Christmas, I pulled that out

(48:25):
and I shared that with them.
Probably a few minutes after Ishared, my sister-in-law said,
uh, I need to share something.
We said, Okay.
And she said, You or Jeff,neither one know anything about
it.
And she said, I was praying.
She said, when you went onhospice, she said I started

(48:45):
praying.
Lord, please do not take herwithout mending their
relationship because it woulddevastate Jeff.
She said, and I was prayingconstantly.
She said, and one morning I wasgoing to work and I made it to
the end of our road.
And I stopped.
And I was praying.
It was just like God was in thecar with me.

(49:07):
He said, Why are you frettingand worrying?
Don't you know that I have gotcontrol of this?
I have brought you through thebirth of a two-pound baby.
I have brought you through yoursister's brain tumor, I have
brought you through taking careand seeing about your parents,
and I'm gonna bring you throughthis.

(49:28):
I am gonna answer your prayers.
I think maybe it was about twoor three weeks later, is when my
brother was diagnosed with coloncancer.
I don't know, but I feel like ifGod had not put me through what
he put me through and let meexperience that storm, and my
brother, he used those storms toput us back together.

(49:52):
And and I always believe that.
Yeah.
So how's his cancer?
He is actually in remission too.
He he is he is done with histreatments and he's still going
back and forth to Emery with hisliver, but it's just a small
little spot, but he he's inremission too.

(50:15):
To be able to celebrateholidays, be able to talk on the
phone and talk about where wewere and where we're at today.
I mean, I give it's nothing todo with me nor him, but it was
the power of prayer because wewere all praying the same
prayer, and nobody even knew wewere saying the prayer, same

(50:35):
prayer, praying for the samethings.
Number one, but number two, Imean, God, I I tell everybody,
it's nothing to do with me.
Yeah, I stepped out on faith.
I did, but God gets the glory.
No matter what, he gets theglory because he did the work.
I just weathered the storm, hedid the work.

SPEAKER_01 (50:56):
Now, he keep talking about prayer.
So your prayer life is youdefinitely spend a lot of time
in prayer.
During this time of prayer, youhad a very strong impression uh
to be rebaptized.
Can you just go through that andlike the length, the great
lengths that you took in orderto be baptized or re-baptized?

SPEAKER_00 (51:21):
In June, I knew that's when I I told my husband,
I said, you know, it's time, andI knew, you know, it was getting
worse.
And I told him, I said, youknow, I've I I've been baptized,
but I've not always lived thebest life.
I've never I have I I'm asinner, and I need to be saved.

(51:47):
And he said, Well, I don't knowhow we're gonna do that.
And I said, Well, you callPastor Tom, he'll make it
happen.
He called our pastor, and I meanat this point I'm on hospice,
I'm on oxygen, I'm in awheelchair.
I I mean Your bones are brittle.
Yes, and they and they'resaying, Don't you don't need to

(52:09):
fall, you you don't sit downhard, you don't blah blah blah.
And so his I said, call him,he'll make it happen.
Well, he made it happen.
It was in a cattle trough infront of the cross at our
church.
They literally picked me up outof the wheelchair, took the

(52:30):
oxygen mask off my face.
One of our associate pastor andsome of my family was in that
trough.
They lowered me down in thewater, the pastor baptized me,
they picked me right back up,put me back in the wheelchair,
put the oxygen back on me, androlled me to the car.
Because it was summer, it washot, and I already couldn't
breathe, and it was just I wasso weak, and I was in so much

(52:54):
pain.
That morning, the pain was sobad, I cried all the way to
church.
I cried.
Pain was so bad.
But I I I got baptized and socame home, you know, I was out
of it most of the day sleeping,and I can remember the next
morning waking up in a panic.
I was like, something's wrong.

(53:15):
And my husband was like, What doyou mean?
And I said, Something's wrong.
I have no pain.
And he was like, What?
I said, is that's not good.
I said, I know as a nurse, youget better before you pass.
Right, it's a big rally.
Yeah, I said, This must be mybetter.
I said, You need to calleverybody, they need to come.

(53:38):
This is my better.
And he was like, What are youtalking about?
Like he thought the medicine,and I was talking out of my head
because they said I would talkout of my head sometimes.
And I said, No, I have no pain.
None.
I I'm taking off the oxygen.
I mean, like I took off theoxygen, I can breathe.
I said, I want to see if I canwalk.

(54:00):
Help me get up.
Well, my muscles are so weak.
They were atrophied.
Hospital bed.
Yeah.
So I could not stand.
Like I could stand, but they hadto hold me under my arms.
But I just can't remember likeit was no pain.
And he called the hospice nurse.
They were I we'll be right onover there.

(54:21):
I mean, I really think theythought the same thing too.
And so I was like, Yo, it's amiracle, it's a miracle, you
know.
Like, I can just and um give mea minute.
You're fine.
You're fine, Sandy.
You're fine.
I remember saying I knoweverybody's at work, but when

(54:42):
they get off work, they need tocome.
They gotta come.
I gotta I gotta talk to them.
Well, by that evening, I mean,like I was asleep, so I don't
think anybody came that evening.
Well, that night I slept finethe next day.
I had no pain.
By the third day, I said, I wantto get back in my bed.

(55:04):
I want to get back in my housebed.
One of my friends had bought mea wedge pillow, so they put the
wedge pillow in the bed and putme back in the regular house
bed.
Hospice kept coming every day,and by the end of the week, I
I'm better.
I called the oncologist and Iwas like, look, I am like, need

(55:25):
to have a scan.
I I am better and something'sgoing on, I don't know what it
is.
And so she was like, Well, it'snot, it's not time for you to
have a scan, it's you gotta waitso and so, so and so.
So I had to end up waiting, Ithink it was about three weeks
or four before I could have thescan.
But in that meantime, my pastoron the radio and at church who

(55:50):
tells the story about she firedhospice.
I don't like that word.
So I'll say, please don't saythat, because I didn't.
And I'm telling you, they theywere the best.
I did call them up and tell themI didn't need them anymore.
And so they were like, Are yousure?
And I'm like, I'm positive, andthey're like, Well, wait another

(56:11):
day or two, and then we'll comeby with the paperwork.
Well, nobody ever came, andnobody ever came.
And so I called them up and Iwas like, Look, I want you to
come with the paperwork, I won'tbe taken off hospice, and so
they came and so I said, Well,when are y'all gonna get the
bed, the oxygen, the wheelchair,blah, blah, blah.
They said, Why don't you keep itabout another month or two and

(56:33):
then we'll come back and get it?
Because they had the impressionlike that either I was going to
pass, this was the better, and Iwas gonna pass, and I was gonna
need the hospital bed, orsomething was gonna happen.
So they wanted me to keep itall.
Well, every time I would go intothat room and I saw that

(56:55):
hospital bed, it was like likePTSD, traumatic.
Like it just so I was wantednothing to do with it.
No, and I told my husband, Isaid it's gotta go.
Um, I called hospice and theysaid they would call them to
pick it up.
When nobody ever came, nobodyever came.
So I got the number off the sideof the oxygen and called the

(57:16):
company and said, Can y'allplease come pick this stuff up?
And literally, me and my husbandhelped get the stuff out and
load it in the van.
I mean, like I couldn't pick uphardly anything, but like I
could give them something, oryou know, they came and got
their stuff.
And so then three or four weekslater I went and had my pet

(57:37):
scan.
Now you demanded a pet scanthough, right?
I did, I did, because she was II don't I don't want to say she
was upset because it was like,you know, you didn't listen to
anything I said, and you know,but she wasn't I mean, because
we had such a greatrelationship, but I did go have

(57:58):
the pet scan and she set me upan appointment to come back for
the results.
So I went back for the results.
She literally that day, she toldme I was, you know, there was no
signs of cancer, nothing.
She said that the day you walkedout of here and you you said
that whole it's me and Jesus andI'm walking out on faith.

(58:20):
She said, I said, she is nuts.
She is nuts.
What is she doing?
And you know, I I I just did nothave a relationship with God
like that.
I I just, you know, and I'mthinking, she's gone off the
rocker, you know, just and shesaid, but seeing this, watching

(58:43):
you that day, seeing all that,and now this, she said, it has
truly showed me.
She said 30 something, I think36 years, I think is what she
said.
She had been an oncologist.
She was like, This has showedme.
This has showed me that whatfaith truly is.

(59:06):
And she said, I thank you.
She said, I truly thank you.
She said, because I didn't Ididn't have that type of
relationship with God.

SPEAKER_01 (59:15):
So she believed in God, she just it just wasn't a
strong relationship.

SPEAKER_00 (59:22):
That's right.
That's right.
And all I could say that day toher was, I'm still winning the
race.
I I I laugh about it now, but atthat time I wasn't, I was
crying.
I was crying so hard, and Icouldn't hardly get the words
out.
And she said, What are you what?

(59:42):
And I said, I'm winning therace.
And she said, What are youtalking about?
And I said, the race.
I said, when I left here thatday and I explained to her that
whole thing of what I I told Godin the car.
And I said, Guess what?
I I'm winning the race.
I said, I'm still in the raceand I'm still winning.

(01:00:03):
And and now even when I go backfor my follow-ups, it's just,
you know, she said, you justamaze me.
And I said, it's not me, it'sGod.
You know, every time I say it'snot me, it's God.
People in the medical field,nurse practitioners and doctors
and PAs, they say, you know,normally your story does not end

(01:00:25):
the way it ended.
No.
And I'm like, yeah, I I I knowthat.
And you know, I I I struggledbecause there was a person in
our church that was battlingcancer.
She passed away.
So many times I have said, God,why did you leave me and take

(01:00:47):
her?
I know her family looks at meand probably says that.
I I don't know, you know, peoplesay, well, he wasn't finished,
he's not finished with you, orhe had something else for you to
do, or or whatever.
I don't know how they say it tome.
But I just try to, every day, II try to, I think back to 21.
You know, people always say,Don't look in the rear view

(01:01:10):
mirror, look in the windshield,don't look in the back glass.
But sometimes if you do not lookin that rear view mirror or you
don't look in that back glass,you sort of forget.
And and I know I I don't want tosay take for granted, because by
no means do I ever, butsometimes I have to look in that

(01:01:30):
rear view mirror to get thatglimpse of just how bad that
valley was.
So now when I'm going throughvalleys, I think most people it
probably would take them out.
But me, it's like it could beworse.
I I've been through worse.

(01:01:50):
You've been through worse.

unknown (01:01:52):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:01:53):
You've been through about as bad as it gets.
Exactly.
And I always tell people, youknow, it you can always look
around and someone has it worsethan you do.
And I'm sure there is peoplethat have gone through cancer
battles that was a whole lotworse than mine, you know, and
and and people have asked me whydo you think God healed you?

(01:02:17):
I I don't know.
I don't have that answer, butone day I will because he'll
tell me.
But what I can tell you, he usedthat to refocus my vision.
Because like I said in thebeginning, I would say, I got
laundry to do, I'm tired, Idon't want to go to church this

(01:02:40):
Sunday.
I took going to church in arelationship with God for
granted.
I truly did.
But going through that cancerbattle, I learned when there is
nobody else, when there isnothing else, you still got God.
He never leaves you and He neverforsakes you.

(01:03:02):
I I wish people could see aglimpse or experience a glimpse
and they would make God andchurch a priority.
Because if I had not gonethrough that journey, I probably
would have never made it apriority till it was too late.
But God gave me the opportunity,and I took that opportunity and

(01:03:25):
I let him change me from theinside out.
He took away things that I nolonger needed, things that I
thought I needed, I didn't nolonger need, and he showed me
what was truly important.
And I what I say every day,family.
Never take your family forgranted.

SPEAKER_01 (01:03:45):
So, what's your response to naysayers who might
say something like, Oh, yourcancer just went into remission?
I hear that all the time.
I was gonna ask, have you everencountered that?

SPEAKER_00 (01:04:00):
I I do, I hear it all the time.
Ooh, that the cancer you have,it's not curable.
So it's just going intoremission and it's gonna come
back, and then what you're gonnasay?
Well, my response to them isevery day I claim I'm healed,
and I claim that I'm gonna stayhealed.
But if the day comes and that itcomes back, and that's how the

(01:04:25):
good Lord has it planned, andI'm gonna tell you what I tell
them.
I'll ride the waves, I'll gowith the motion, I'll I'll go
through the storm, I'll be rightthere.
I mean, until he takes me home.
But I I I like I said in thebeginning, I I will not take
another chemo treatment.
I I just will ride it out.

(01:04:47):
And will I go on hospice?
I can't say yay or no, but butpeople do say that all the time.
You know your that cancer is notcurable, it just goes in
remission, and well, you knowwhat?
Every time you get in your car,you ru you're taking a risk of
having an accident too.

SPEAKER_01 (01:05:07):
Yeah, yeah.
But even if like it just thetiming of it though, you know,
like people say, Oh, it went toremission.
I think of you got baptized atthe day the morning after you
felt the healing.

SPEAKER_00 (01:05:22):
I mean, you know, that's God.
And there's no other way, youknow.
People was like, Well, can youjust tell me like how did you
know that that was God?
You know, I've had people ask methat question, and then my
response is, well, who else wasit?
I mean, you talking about fromAugust of 21 till July of 23, I

(01:05:52):
had weathered the storm, thishorrific storm, to all of a
sudden I was baptized and when Iwake up, I'm healed.
I mean, there's only one personthat could have done it.
I mean and I and you know, andwhen I was saying earlier, like

(01:06:12):
I asked God so many times, whydid you heal me, but you took,
you know, the person in mychurch.
I really, truly think it'sbecause I I I went out on faith.
I truly gave it to him.
I I took it out of man's handsand I put it in his hands.

(01:06:32):
I I really, truly think that iswhy he healed me.
I think he he tried for so longfor me to get it to give it to
him and I wouldn't.
But when I did, he used thattime because before I got
diagnosed with cancer, I waspraying.

(01:06:54):
When I would pray, I'd say, God,please help me with my patience.
And I know the old old peoplesay, do not pray.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:02):
Do not, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:03):
I know I did.
Oh, you get all kinds of trials.
I did.
I I prayed for patients and Iprayed for him to take the toast
of coca away from me.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:14):
And he did for a short.
And he did, yeah, he did.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:20):
But yes, I do have people say that all the time.
That I've had them ask me, whatare you gonna do when it comes
back?
It's not.
I'm claiming it's not comingback.
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:31):
And if it does, you know where you're going.
So exactly.

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:35):
I'm still winning the race.

SPEAKER_01 (01:07:36):
I mean Yeah, you're still winning.
So I feel like a themethroughout this whole interview
has been time.
And you were telling me that youreceived a vision.
Can you can you explain theclock?

SPEAKER_00 (01:07:52):
I can.
In March of 24, I got asked tospeak at a um a ladies' meeting.
They asked me what was going tobe the title of my speech, and I
said, you know, let me pray onit.
So I have like a 31-mile,32-mile drive to work every day.
So in the mornings, my prayertime is on the way to work.

(01:08:16):
I pray, I talk to God, I sing, Iworship.
On the way to work, I waspraying, God, give me what you
want me to share, please.
So after a couple of days, heshowed me when I'd be praying
and I'd see this storm.
The the rain literally were wasblowing sideways, not straight

(01:08:37):
up and down.
It was like sideways, and it wasdark, really dark.
And so I was like, okay, well,God wants me to talk about
storms and maybe, you know, talkabout the storms in my life and
how storms.
And so I was like, okay, well,that's what I'm gonna speak on.
So I had started, you know,working on my speech, and the

(01:08:58):
Thursday before the Sunday, Iwas supposed to give my speech,
was going to work, and thatmorning when I started praying,
I could see this this a clock asbig as my house.
It was huge, it was the biggestclock I'd ever seen.
Like big things.
Yes, it it was huge.

(01:09:20):
I mean, it was probably as bigas several cars put together.
But it had no numbers.
It it was just a white clock,white face, white clock, black
arrows on it.
The hands, hands, yes, with nonumbers.
So it's like, okay, God, whatwhat is this?

(01:09:41):
You know, so that was on like aWednesday or Thursday and
Friday.
I saw the same thing.
Saturday.
So I was like, okay, well, am Isupposed to change my message?
Because I mean, I'm down to thewire.
So that Saturday morning when Igot up, I started praying.
God, if if this is the messageyou want you want me to share,

(01:10:03):
give it to me.
Well, that Sunday I gave mymessage, and the title of my
message was While in theWaiting.
And I talked about how we're allin the waiting for something.
We're waiting for a healingmiracle, we're we're waiting for
the birth of a child or agrandchild, we're waiting for uh

(01:10:25):
to get married, we're waitingfor your child to graduate high
school or college or whatever.
We're all waiting on something.
But while we're in that waiting,what are we doing with our time
while we're in the waiting?
And so I talked about that.
While we're in the waiting, weshould still be praising and

(01:10:46):
praying and worshiping God.
You know, while we're in thewaiting, what does God expect
from us?
I mean, and my speech was wasall about while in the waiting.
And I talked about the clock,you know, how he had given me
that vision.
And I didn't even, I did notrealize when I was given that

(01:11:08):
speech the impact.
It had so many people come up tome days later saying how much it
meant to them and how they sataround and thought about some of
the things I said because Italked about how, you know, when
you're in the waiting, how youwhen you're praying, your
prayers are different.

(01:11:29):
Because a lot of times we homein on that one thing, that
healing miracle, that that birthof that child or whatever.
But at that time, we should bepraying in general for
everything, not just forwhatever we're we're needing at
that time.
So I didn't realize it in Marchwhen I gave that uh message at

(01:11:54):
the women's thing that God hadme give that message to prepare
me for what I would be waitingon, because I'm in the waiting
now for another miracle.
I'm waiting for my for God tobring my child home.
So in that I'm in that waitingright now, you know, and people

(01:12:14):
approach me all the time.
I don't know how you do it.
You know, you're how do you goand not see your child, you
know, or not hold your child, ornot hear your child, or
whatever.
How do you make it?
And it it is simple.
You know, I tell them, I make itby the grace of God because I
have laid it at his feet, justlike I did with my cancer

(01:12:37):
battle, and he healed me, and Iknow he's working on this
situation.
Everybody's always waiting onsomething.
You know, I hear people say allthe time, I'll be glad when
Friday gets here.
Everybody's waiting onsomething.
But it's just what do we do withthat time while we're waiting?
Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 (01:12:55):
Yeah, that's a good point.
I know, so my mind, I've beentrying to think, just I can't
get that off my mind, what youwere telling me about the clock,
no face to it.
And something that came to mymind too was the verse that
talks about how we don't knowthe day or the hour.

(01:13:16):
And uh and that's what you facedthrough your cancer journey.
You didn't know from one, likeyou said, from one hour to the
next.

SPEAKER_00 (01:13:23):
Yeah, I mean, it got to the point where, you know, I
thought about the minute,especially right there in the
beginning.
Like, you know, you uh whensomething like that hit, when
you when you get that kind ofnews, it's like you want to do
everything that you have wantedto do your whole life, but you
only have an hour, or you onlyhave one day, or you know, you

(01:13:47):
start thinking, and and thenthat's how I was.
I was thinking about, okay, Iwant to do this, I want to do
this, I want to do this, do Ihave enough time?
Do I, you know, so yeah, I I dothink I think that God showed me
that clock, one, I think, tomake me think back to that day
when I was saying, I want to dothis, I want to do this, but I

(01:14:09):
think also so that I will sharewith somebody and they will
understand how precious time is.
Family.
I mean, he showed me over andover how precious family is.

SPEAKER_01 (01:14:23):
So before we finish, there's um one thing I would I
want you to I want to get youropinion on.
What message do you want toleave people who are battling
cancer or any kind ofdebilitating illness?

SPEAKER_00 (01:14:38):
Keep the faith.
Even when you don't even see thelight at the end of the tunnel,
keep the faith.
Cry out to God.
But most of all, just remember,I mean, no matter what, if you
have a relationship with God,truly have a relationship, you
give your life to the Lord andyou have a relationship with
Him, no matter if you you'rehealed here or either healed

(01:15:05):
there, either way, you you willgain.
You will have everything togain.
And I I just if if people don'thave a relationship with God,
they can call me.
I'll I I promise you.
And and you know, and and andand I know people that are

(01:15:25):
battling cancer, it's like theirmind is so focused on that
battle right then and there.
They they're not thinking aboutthe overall picture.
But I mean, because I've I'vebeen there, but at the end of
the day, that clock is the handson that clock is going to ring.

(01:15:47):
Every day's ticking.
And you may think you have, youknow, I I've got I uh in a week,
I'm on I'm gonna dedicate mylife to the Lord in a week.
I'm gonna, you know, putting atime limit on it.
And we shouldn't.
So if they don't have arelationship with God, like I
said, they can call me.

(01:16:08):
If not, I reach out to somebody,a pastor or a family member or
somebody.
That's one of the the mostimportant things.

SPEAKER_01 (01:16:20):
I appreciate you sharing your story and opening
up to us.
I know it's such an emotionaltopic, and yeah.
And I deeply appreciate it, andI know there's so many out there
that just appreciate your storytoo, and the impact that you've
got on others.
And it's so refreshing to seethat you're using this time that

(01:16:45):
God gave you to spread his loveto others that you know don't
really know his love.
Or so I mean, like even thosewho know his love, but they
still need that encouragement.
That's right.

SPEAKER_00 (01:16:57):
That's right.
And that's what I wish.
I mean, I I I I am back at workand I do work every day.
And I do use my ministry duringwork and I share with patients,
and I have patients sometimesthat come in and they'll say,
tell me that story one moretime.
Now you got that.
I mean, they just want to, andthey set up all these
goosebumps, you know.

(01:17:18):
But I I wish I had time to go tothe treatment center where I was
at and actually just sit downand share with people.
That to me, if I make it toretirement, that's what I'm
gonna do.
That's how I'm gonna spend mydays.
Yeah.
That I do.
I I share, you know, because Imade that promise to God, if he

(01:17:40):
brought me through, that everyday I would share what he had
done for me.
And I do.
When somebody asks me to speakor go somewhere, I I go.
You know, you make good on thatpromise.
That's right.
That's right.
Because you never know.
I mean, they uh that person maynot be battling cancer, but they

(01:18:01):
may be battling addiction orthey may be battling whatever,
you know, and sometimes it'ssin.
You know, I I say all the time,people may look like they have
it all together because I'm surepeople thought that about me,
but they're really struggling onthe inside, and sometimes
hearing somebody else's storymakes the difference.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:21):
It does.

SPEAKER_00 (01:18:22):
Well, thank you for asking me to speak.
I mean, uh, I think that thispodcast is amazing.
I mean, I thank you.
I do.
I think that it is going.
I mean, God is using you andthis podcast as a vessel to help
people.
Um, you know, because we are in2025 in technology.

(01:18:44):
A lot of times people won't pickup a Bible, but they'll pick up
their phone.

SPEAKER_01 (01:18:50):
Right.
Yeah, that's right.
You are correct.
Well, Sandy, thank you verymuch, and I look forward to us
talking again.
Yes, ma'am.