Steve's journey from the depths of addiction to becoming a beacon of hope for others defies all expectations. After a decade-long battle with cocaine addiction that culminated in a near-fatal overdose in 2003, he found himself wrapped in a blanket on his floor for three days before being discovered by family members. Doctors grimly informed his loved ones that any longer would have meant planning a funeral.
During his recovery, fate intervened when he met Tonya at a doctor's office in Taylorsville. Though she compassionately helped him seek medical care for lingering effects from his overdose, their relationship would face devastating challenges. Still in addiction's grip, Steve betrayed Tonya's trust by emptying her bank account, forcing her to relocate to Georgia to heal from the betrayal.
The turning point came unexpectedly two years later when Tonya reached out simply to check if Steve was still alive. That single conversation sparked a profound realization that it was time to break free from drugs. Within six weeks of her return to North Carolina, they married – a decision Steve calls second only to giving his life to Christ thirteen years ago.
Their spiritual journey took an unexpected turn when they felt called to mission work after hearing a missionary speak at their church. This calling eventually manifested in an opportunity much closer to home – the directorship of the Hope Center in Maiden, North Carolina, a faith-based recovery program for men struggling with addiction.
Today, Steve leads a structured, Christ-centered recovery program that boasts a remarkable 61% success rate, far exceeding the national average of 18% for rehabilitation centers. The program focuses not just on sobriety but on restoring lives and rebuilding family relationships through spiritual guidance, vocational training, and accountability. Most remarkably, about 80% of Hope Centers nationwide are now run by program graduates who found purpose through their own recovery journey.
Have you witnessed how faith can transform even the most broken lives? Join us for this powerful conversation about addiction, forgiveness, and how one couple's redemption story is creating ripples of hope throughout their community and beyond.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:01):
Hi and welcome back to the Beyond Existing podcast.
With me today are a couple I'mexcited to introduce.
What a wonderful testimony thatthey have to share.
Tonya and I worked together atRiverbend and we only worked
together for about a year beforeI retired, but we used to talk
daily and it's just funny howyou think you know somebody and
(00:24):
you really don't.
And you'll see what I mean whenwe get into this episode.
And Steve, he's the director ofthe Hope Center in Maiden,
north Carolina.
Before we get started, I wantto share a Facebook post that
Steve shared with Tonya andyou'll see the reason why I
(00:46):
asked them to come on today.
His post reads 20 years sober.
Addiction is a disease that hastouched everyone in some way,
whether personally or throughfamily and friends.
As the Hope Center in Maidenprepares to host its first gala,
I want to take a moment toshare what your support means.
(01:08):
20 years ago, I made thelife-changing decision to get
clean after a 10-year battlewith addiction.
My struggle began in highschool and continued through my
20s.
I hurt my parents and familyemotionally and financially.
At 21, I lost my job workingfor my mom due to failed drug
(01:28):
tests.
After a series of short-termjobs.
I was given the opportunity towork for my dad.
He taught me a lot, but despitehis and my mom's support, I
still wasn't ready to give up myaddiction.
In 2003, I overdosed.
I was found in my rented roomthree days later by my dad and
brother.
I was wrapped in a blanket onthe floor.
(01:51):
I spent three days in ICU andthe doctor told my family that
if it had been any longer, theywould have been preparing for my
funeral.
I was left with a tingling inmy arm that wouldn't go away,
the lingering result of theoverdose.
After recovering and going backto work, the first customer I
(02:12):
visited was a doctor's office inTaylorsville.
There I met my wife, tanya.
She helped me get immediatemedical care for the tingling in
my arm caused by the overdose,specifically where the blanket
had been tightly wrapped aroundme.
We began dating, but I wasn'tready to change.
In a moment of desperation, Istole everything from her bank
(02:34):
account.
Tonya had no choice but toleave, moving with her family to
Georgia to heal from thebetrayal.
Despite my near-death experience, I continued down the path of
addiction.
But two years later, tonyareached out to me out of the
blue, simply asking if I wasstill alive.
It was that conversation thatfinally made me realize it was
(02:59):
time to let go of drugs.
She moved back to NorthCarolina and six weeks later we
were married.
Marrying her was the secondbest decision of my life.
The best decision came 13 yearsago, when I gave my life to
Jesus and was baptized shortlythereafter.
We've attended the same churchever since.
(03:19):
About 10 years ago, amissionary from the IPHC
preached at Living Word Church.
At the end of the service hespoke about people being called
into missions.
As I drove home with Tonya, Iknew that we were the ones being
called.
We never imagined it would leadus to serve in Maiden, north
Carolina.
(03:40):
I am so thankful for God's graceand mercy and the love, support
and forgiveness of my family.
Today I am the director of HopeCenter.
Ministries made in campus afaith-based recovery house where
I help men struggling withaddiction.
Recovery programs like the HopeCenter focus on restoring lives
and restoring families.
My two oldest children didn'tget the best version of me.
(04:04):
How could they when I was deepin addiction.
Restoring my relationshipwithin them has been a work in
progress over the years.
That's why facilities like theHope Center are so crucial.
Here, men not only learn torestore their lives, but they
also rebuild their relationshipswith their families, all
(04:26):
through the guidance of Christ.
To provide this ministry tothose battling addiction, we
host an annual gala to raiseawareness and funds for each
Hope Center location.
The Maiden Gala will be held onSeptember 9th at the Providence
Cotton Mill.
Please prayerfully considersupporting this important cause.
(04:47):
Had a program like the HopeCenter been available to me, I
could have possibly gottencleaner sooner and spared my
family some of the pain I caused.
Thank you for yourconsideration and for being part
of the journey to restorationand healing.
Should you feel led to helpthis great cause, please reach
out to me or click this linkwwwhopecmcom.
(05:11):
Forward slash gala and click.
Made in North Carolina.
So, steve, best decision youever made, huh Best decision
Best decision, Best decision yes, I would agree.
So you went from nearly dyingoverdosing in 2003, to being the
(05:32):
director of a men's recoverycenter and sharing Jesus.
Do you mind sharing a littleabout how this addiction even
began?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Well, I have two older brothers.
One is still fighting addictionand he kind of set me down that
road.
I hate to say that, but he kindof set me down that road and it
just kind of just spiraled forprobably the next 10 years.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Mm-hmm, do you mind sharing what was your drug of
choice?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
So I was addicted to cocaine.
Of course it started withmarijuana and then kind of went
down the road, pretty much triedeverything.
But I would say cocaine wasprobably the last.
Probably the last eight yearswas all cocaine.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, Wow.
So so you overdosed in 2003.
How long did it take you torecover from that overdose?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Well, I mean, I hate to say this, but I'm still
body-wise.
It's, I don't think it's evergoing to fully recover, but it
took.
It probably took a couple ofyears to fully fully recover.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh, wow, okay, so you worked with your dad.
Can you explain the occupation,what you were doing at the time
you met Tonya?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So we were in communications, we did voice and
data wiring.
We actually maintained theoutside clinics for the hospital
, that we did their telephonesystem and kept them up and
running.
So of course that's where I metTanya.
She was the office manager inTaylorsville.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Okay, all right.
So Tanya when you met him?
Love at first sight?
Steve is nodding his head.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yes, I don't know.
He's obviously nice looking,but he was definitely you could
tell that he was very sick orrecovering.
I mean he's very thin.
But it was just talking to himimmediately.
I just felt just an instantconnection of just liking him,
(07:57):
feeling the need to help him out.
So, was it love at first sight?
I would say probably.
I mean, it just was like assoon as I met him I knew I just
wanted him to be part of my life.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, what about you, steve?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh, of course.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Of course, good answer, exactly All right.
Tonya, you said somethingthat's so interesting to me.
You felt that the Holy Spiritspoke to you when you guys met.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I do.
I have people come in and outof the office all the time and.
I would never go through thelengths that I did to make sure
he got in with a doctor to makesure that he was able to pay for
it because he did not havehealth insurance.
(08:52):
I did stuff that I would neverdo.
I don't know that I necessarilyrecognized it as the Holy
Spirit right then, but now thatI look back I think you know
that was the Holy Spirit sayingyou need to help him and you
need to make sure that he'staken care of and so.
(09:14):
But yeah, I would have neverdone that before.
I mean he knows me and evenafter, like being married for
almost 20 years, that's notsomething I would typically do.
I'd love to help people, butnot to the extreme that I helped
him.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, so that first month y'all were together were
you pretty much inseparable.
Yeah except for working.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah, when I would work and he would work, we would
just not see each other duringthe day, but the evening hours
we would go out and dinner andspend it at the house.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
At least for a little bit.
For a little bit, it didn'tlast very long.
No, that addiction just cameright back.
Yeah, it was at first, yes, andthen it was maybe once every
couple of days, and then itwould be a week at a time.
Of course, at the end it wasvery rare.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yeah, yeah, all right .
So what happened at the end ofthat first month Tonya?
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Well, I went to the store to I don't know if it was
gas or what I was getting and Itook out my debit card and it
was declined and I thought, well, why in the world would that be
declined?
I just got paid and I just keptthinking to myself something's
off.
And I went home this was beforeyou had your mobile apps and
(10:48):
all that and I called the bankand, sure enough, I was in the
negatives already and I had justgotten paid and I just could
not figure it out.
And then I couldn't find.
No, I couldn't find.
I did have my debit card, buthe had had it, because I think
he went to get gas or pick upsomething for me, and I guess it
(11:10):
was in that timeframe that hewent to.
Did you go to the ATM?
Is that he went to the ATM?
and cleaned me out, uh-huh, sooh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
And then you said something did he steal your ring
too?
I?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
had a ring.
Um, he doesn't remember that,but I do just remember hiding it
because I just I wanted totrust him but I wasn't gonna say
anything.
And sure enough, I went afterall of that transpired.
I went looking and it wasn'tthere.
(11:45):
And I don't know who.
I know I put it there, so Idon't know anybody else who
would have taken that.
But he says he doesn't rememberthat.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
No, you don't really.
I mean.
What people don't understand isyou can think you had something
, but an addict's going to findit yeah yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
So steve um what was going through your mind as you
were pulling uh money from heraccount uh, it was always that
next high that next high it'sreally you're not thinking about
who you're hurting what youhave going on.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
It's the only thing in your mind is is where can I
get it?
Um, it's not really who you canget it from, it's just how can
you get it?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
how can you get it?
Yeah, yeah, so tanya um.
So after he wiped you out, youobviously I mean, were you
living by yourself at the time?
Yeah, so you obviously couldn'tmake ends meet.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
No, and I just, it wasn't too long ago, I had just
graduated from college and youknow, you're, you're struggling,
you know by yourself, and so I,just I, I didn't.
I felt hopeless and helpless atthe same time.
And so I called my parents and,of course, come on, come on
(13:08):
home.
And that's what I did and justthought, okay, this will be good
to put some space between usanyway.
So that's when I moved.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
So, so, when you moved back, you were totally
heartbroken and devastated.
Yes, what did you like?
How did you handle it?
What, what were you praying?
I?
Speaker 3 (13:38):
in the beginning I was very angry and I just did.
I couldn't understand how Iwent so much out of my way to
help him and at the time I knewnothing about addiction.
So now I see and look at it, Iget it and I really genuinely
don't think he meant to hurt me.
(13:59):
It's your typical addict justlooking for the next high.
So after I moved there Istarted working, I tried to kind
of find friends, go out, and Iwould say probably the next six
months transpired before Istarted to pray.
I didn't want to go out just ondates with people.
(14:24):
I was looking to date to marryand I just wasn't finding that.
And so that's when I probablystarted to pray for the Lord to,
you know, send me who you wantme to be with and you know, let
me be open to who you want me tospend my life with.
And that's when I just startedpraying that I probably prayed
(14:47):
it for about, I don't know,probably the next four or five
months, Because was it about ayear?
I think it was about a yearwhen we kind of started talking
again.
But that was my prayer JustLord, send me somebody good,
somebody that can treat me good,and just somebody that I can
trust.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Basically, yeah Well, how did y'all reconnect?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
After praying, and praying, and praying, he was
just always on my heart and mindand I was wrestling with that
because I was like Lord, you'renot going to send me the guy who
just totally crushed me.
This is just not going tohappen.
So I just felt like I need tojust see if he's even alive.
And that's what he posted onhis Facebook.
(15:33):
I literally thought in my mindhe surely can't be alive if he's
done that and went back todrugs.
So I called his place ofemployment and he was still on
the voice recording and so Isaid, well, let me make sure his
phone number is still the same.
So when I hit it, I think itgave your option for his cell
(15:55):
phone, which it was.
So after I did that I don't knowif it was the same day or maybe
the next day I said, well, I'mgoing to call him.
It was the same day or maybethe next day.
I said, well, I'm going to callhim.
And so that's when I blockedthe number because I thought,
well, if he doesn't want to talkto me, I'll just know he's okay
.
And if, because even to thisday he is not going to answer a
(16:16):
blocked call, and neither wouldI and I literally blocked it and
I would say just a couple ofrings.
He answered the phone.
I literally blocked it.
And I would say just a couple ofrings.
He answered the phone and I waslike Steve and he was like, yes
, he was actually on a baseballfield, so we didn't get to talk
very long.
(16:37):
He was coaching his son'slittle league team and he said I
will call you back, I promise.
And I was like okay, whatever.
And sure enough, I guess afterwas it after the game or when
you got home?
Do you know if it was when Igot home?
When he got home he called meand that kind of started just
(16:58):
the conversation and I didn'treally bring up what he did.
I just didn't.
I knew that I either had toforgive him or this was never
going to even work as afriendship.
So we really never talked aboutit.
I just wanted I said I was justmaking sure you're okay and
still alive and we went on tojust like small talking, like
(17:22):
what you've been up to and stufflike that so.
But we did not address that'sfine.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
We did not address what was happening.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
So when did you stop abusing drugs steve?
Um, I'm gonna say what about2006?
At the end, about 2007, 205?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
yeah, okay, was it was it after the phone call?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
No, it was probably a month later, maybe yeah so
after I called, you yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Okay, all right.
We were talking time to timeand so I don't know what
triggered him to stop.
But we would talk about everyday or so Not big long
conversations initially, butjust checking on each other and
(18:33):
making sure that we were okay,was it after that?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, it was kind of that decision, well I mean it's
time to be done.
Of that decision, well I meanit's time to be done, um, kind
of getting a little old and youknow being sick and just
fighting that all the time beingbroke constantly.
It was.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I just just up in the blue, said I'm done yeah, I
never go back up yeah, so likewhen you're addicted, do you
have these voices in your head?
You feel like that are tellingyou, like trying to keep you
addicted, um I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I don't know if I would say that.
I would say, um, it's just thatrush, um, you always want to
just continue that rush.
Yeah, um, me, it was always theupper, so I wanted to go, go,
go all the time.
It's how I am now, but it'sjust a cleaner version of it.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, right Now, tonya.
I think it's interesting.
I just love what you told meabout forgiving Steve, how you
said if Jesus could forgive, yes.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
And I knew that early on and I think maybe, like I
said, we never really discussedit.
The longer we've been marriedwe might discuss it.
I might ask him a question,especially now with him dealing
with residents at the HopeCenter.
I might ask him, like how doesthat work or what do you think,
kind of like what you just did.
(20:10):
And so I knew and my parentswere very instrumental in
teaching me this that you haveto forgive people and I just
knew that in all that I've everdone and all my shortcomings in
life, if Jesus could forgive me,I could forgive him for this
and that's just what I've alwayskind of had my mindset in doing
(20:33):
so and I think I did okay.
I don't think I really everheld it over your head or
anything.
I knew I had to forgive andobviously you don't, Right.
I just knew that if I was goingto make a go of this
relationship, I had to be strongin saying that I'm going to
forgive him.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah so and.
I did.
That's wonderful, because whatdo we women do when we get in a
fight?
Yes, bring up the past.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yes, I don't ever remember holding that over his
head.
Again, it has to be a God thingbecause, like you said, women
are going to bring that up ifyou get into a fight or anything
.
And I just knew that.
I just couldn't do that.
It just wasn't, it wasn't meantfor us to do that.
(21:22):
We needed to forgive and moveon.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, steve, you invited Tonya tomove back to North Carolina,
correct?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I did.
I was in the process of buyinga house and I think I just
bought it and I said just listen, just move back up here.
I said this time this is myhouse, so you don't have to
worry about anything.
So yeah, we talked about it forI know we didn't talk about it
long and she said okay.
(21:54):
So I jumped in the pickup truckand drove to Georgia and picked
her up.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Oh my God.
Well, what was your firstthought?
Tonya?
Again, I don't know.
I just I really didn't know him.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Well, what was your first thought, tonya?
Again, I don't know.
I just I really didn't know him.
Again, if you think of thetimeline, we, you know together
for about a month.
In that month's time weprobably were together for about
two weeks, and then it wassporadic, and then, of course,
he did what he did, and then wedidn't talk for a very long time
(22:27):
and then I don't know, it'sjust like I said, it was just
something I was like okay, if Imean, what did I have to lose?
Yeah, and I feel I felt likethe Lord was answering my prayer
, and so I really didn't.
It wasn't even about justtrusting him.
I had had to trust the Lord tooand make sure, because every
(22:48):
time I prayed it was him who wasalways just brought up, or on
my mind or something related tohim.
So I guess I just stepped outliterally on a big step of faith
and just said, ok, let's do itokay, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
One thing I want to know when God would put him on
your mind or on your heart,would you pray for him?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Yeah, I was just genuinely worried about him.
I saw in two weeks that I wouldsay that he was a clean version
of him.
I saw a guy that I just thoughtwas really awesome, with the
big heart, a good father.
I just saw like everything thatI would want in a husband and
(23:37):
so, yeah, I would pray and just,you know, lord, be with him,
help him with this.
And at the time I didn't know,I hadn't spoken to him, so I
didn't know what he was doingwith his life.
So the only thing I know I canremember my dad telling me one
day because I think I opened upto my parents and said what was
(23:58):
going on and he said well, tanya, you just have to pray for him.
He said you don't have to tellhim that you're praying for him.
He said you don't talk behindpeople's backs, but you
certainly pray behind people'sbacks and you just have to let
them know.
And I'll never forget that.
And so that's just yeah.
And so I just kind of said,okay, that's what I'll do.
(24:20):
And that's when I just finally,after doing that for a while,
finally just said I'm going tocall.
But I'll never forget thatstatement, my dad told me he's
like don't talk behind people'sbacks, yes, but it's okay to
pray behind their backs.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Yeah, so you move to North Carolina, move in with
Steve, and then what?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And then I just said you know what, steve, if I'm
praying about this and I wantthis to be a godly relationship,
I said we got to get marriedand I said, and it's got to be
soon.
And so he was like, ok, so likewe took a Wednesday afternoon
off half day and went and gotmarried and then just went back
(25:08):
to work the next day.
We went to the courthouse so,and everybody thought I can
remember sitting at his mom'shouse for Thanksgiving and they
I remember hearing somebody sayis that Steve's girlfriend?
And his mom said no, his wifehis wife.
(25:29):
And I just remember thinking,okay, but I mean, it was just, I
guess, so sudden, so quick.
But I knew that I wanted to tobe with him.
So I ask him all the time didyou really know you wanted to be
with me?
And he always tells me yes, butI don't know that he did, or
(25:49):
just just I plead the faith,just not knowing each other that
well, I always question.
But he didn't hesitate to getmarried at all.
He was like okay, okay, oh.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
So how old were your boys at the time?
So my son was.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Twelve, no, no, no, no, he's about ten.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Okay, ten, and then the other one would have been
eight.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Okay, and that went well too.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, that transition .
You know, her and my daughter,the oldest daughter, they really
I think got along at first andthen she kind of hit her teenage
years and they kind of not gotalong.
But I think now they do.
But yeah, and of course my son,he loved her to death so but no
(26:47):
, that wasn't.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
It wasn't difficult to.
I wouldn't say we.
I guess we blended a familywith not with children initially
, but just marrying him and thekids coming was not not a
difficult thing at all.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Yeah, so you guys were married for a year before
you decided to try for your ownchildren?
Yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
I did that because I mean I was obviously I was 30 at
that or pushing 30.
And you know, in my I, my clockis ticking.
So I didn't.
I mean, ideally I guess weshould have waited maybe a
little bit longer, but I'm gladwe didn't, because then we would
(27:34):
have the situations that we ranthrough, health wise, maybe
would have been too late and soyeah.
So I thought, well, it's a year, let's start to try and see
what happens.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah, yeah, I was 32 when I had mine.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yeah, I mean I was 31 and 32 ultimately.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah.
That was old.
And you're like me.
You're the older parent Aroundthe kids.
My son will be 30 this year andour baby like me.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
You're the older parent Around the kids.
Your son will be 30 this yearand our baby is 17.
So you know it was just.
But I honestly didn't eventhink I ever wanted children.
But when I saw him with hiskids and I was like I I, he's
the fantastic father, so I knewthat I needed, we needed, to
(28:24):
have at least one more child.
He, although, was finished,he'll tell you he was fine with
not having any more children.
That is a true statement.
I don't know exactly how hefelt.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Glad it didn't work out that way, but that wasn't
your statement.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yes, he was like I'm fine with what I have.
Tanya, I'm like, well, I don'thave any, I don't have any, I
want a baby, exactly Exactly Now.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Getting there was the hard part.
Can you explain what you guyswent through?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
what you guys went through.
Well, initially we wereobviously trying to have a baby.
A year has went by, nothing hastranspired.
So I worked with a greatChristian doctor and he set me
up let's go to fertility, let'sdo all this stuff and figure out
what's going on.
So I went and it was a localfertility doctor.
(29:29):
It was, and we just startedwith like tests and there was a
history side Peniogram, I thinkis what you call it.
There's an abbreviation theyuse, but it's basically where
they put dye into your fallopiantubes.
Well, I had two failed ones andthat was painful.
And after it was failed he justsaid I don't know what to tell
(29:55):
you and in terms of fertility,until we go in to see what's
going on inside.
So that's when we started toplan just a surgery to see if I
had.
He was thinking endometriosis.
He was thinking several thingsbut he said I really can't
speculate until I can see what'sgoing on.
(30:17):
And in the meantime the greatChristian doctor had a patient
or a friend that he knew and shewas pregnant and wasn't really
sure what to do.
She was not married, she knewthat, she was not in a place to
keep a baby, she wasn't terriblyyoung, but she just knew this
(30:41):
was not a good decision.
So she told the doctor that ifhe could find a good Christian
family she would potentiallythink about adoption.
And so I was like, wow, that'sgreat.
And it went on and on and onand we never heard anything.
(31:02):
So we were real excited and Itold Steve, and then we didn't
hear anything for months, notuntil about right before she was
due.
And then she called me, or hecalled me and said she's willing
to give the baby up foradoption.
And that is we had how much?
A month, maybe six weeks.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
We did everything in three weeks.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Yeah, that's what I was going to ask was how long
did y'all had to prepare?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
And it usually takes a lot longer than that.
But the doctor that I workedfor, he and his wife had five
biological children and they hadadopted six, so they were like
experts in it and so Wait, holdon.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
They had five biological, and then they
adopted six children.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Six children, so they knew a thing or two about
adoption.
Yeah, and honestly I didn'treally.
We didn't have to do anythingbut just call.
When his wife told us you needto call this lawyer, Call for
this.
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Puppy, can you explain what's going on with the
dog?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
We have a little puppy, I think she's about what
is she?
16, 17 weeks old now and shewas napping and so calm and I
was like, oh, this will be great, We'll do the podcast and
she'll be chill.
And now the puppy has just comeout in her.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
So when you hear like little dog barks throughout the
episode, that's their littlegolden doodle.
Yeah, little squeak toysepisode.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
That's their little golden doodle yeah, little
squeak toys, and her name ishope so.
But she has all of a suddenjust come to life like but we
love dogs in this podcast I'm soglad because she is definitely
um, you know, she keeps comingup here trying to get in our
laps and what's going on.
Yeah, so that's what's going onif you hear squeaky toys, barks
(33:08):
or just craziness.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yes, All right, so you get hooked up with the
lawyer and the social workersand before we knew it, she came
a couple weeks early.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
three weeks early, so within like three weeks, so
within a month that we got thephone call that she was born and
we needed to come pick her upfrom the hospital yeah yeah yeah
, it just happened so quickly.
We did not even have clothingbecause you know we were
anticipating other two or threeweeks, a minimum.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yep, and so we had to rush to go and get stuff that
we needed.
We picked up a car seat on theway to the hospital, yes, and of
course we bought all pinkcolored stuff because, you know,
basically I was told that Iprobably, for whatever reason,
would never have a babynaturally.
(34:08):
So I was like, well, we'll justbuy everything pink and that's
what we did, that's what we did.
Yeah.
And then, obviously, when wegot her and we brought her home,
we had a small little threebedroom house and you've heard
the age ranges.
I didn't want to put a newbornin the bedroom with an eight or
(34:31):
nine-year-old.
I just didn't think that wasfair for her to have to share a
room with a baby.
So we started to say, hey, weprobably need to buy a little
bigger house and start lookingfor a bigger house.
And we were in Hickory and Ijust felt just miserable I know
I was short with him and it wasnot what I wanted to be and I
(34:54):
remember him looking at me andsaying I think you're pregnant,
or maybe he even said you'repregnant and I was like, come on
, no, no way.
And so, yep, we had athree-month-old and I found out
that I was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Actually I was far along.
I was not like just a couple ofweeks.
I was probably close to nine,10 weeks pregnant.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, and I think it wasactually came out as we were
looking for a bigger threebedroom house to oh great, now
we got to look for a fourbedroom house, yep, so it was
just.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
It was just so surreal and I just remember
having those two little.
We were all to talk at thedoctor's office because we came
in there for our visit with thethree-month-old baby, and they
were all because they knew thatI was in there not too long ago
for fertility issues.
And then here I am with apositive test and a newborn
(36:02):
basically still, orthree-month-old basically.
So what's their age difference.
They are 10 weeks, 10 monthsand three weeks apart.
We usually just say 11 months,but they are the same age for
five weeks.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Same age for five weeks.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
For five weeks yep, and it's so funny because people
will say, say, are they twins?
When they were little?
I'm like no, especially if itwas during that five week period
.
They would say, um, so how oldare they?
And I might say, oh well, she'sfive.
And how old is she?
She's five.
And they were like, wait aminute, he's gonna step away for
(36:38):
just a second.
Um, he's got an urgent phonecall, but I'll keep talking with
you and okay, all right so wecan come back to it.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So you were telling me that you guys did not go to
church during this time, did not?
Speaker 3 (36:54):
no, he um.
I was raised in the church andum, so I never knew not having
you know the Bible, the Lordpart of our life.
But he was not.
He had not um been.
He went to church.
Obviously it was usually likethose Christmas Eve, easter
(37:14):
services on, when most peoplewould come, but he um had never
been.
And to me it was very importantthat if we were having children
, I wanted them to be in achurch, and so I said I'm going
to go whether you go or not, butI would like for you to go, and
that's kind of where I left it,that's where we were, and so
(37:37):
the children shall lead you back.
Yes, indeed, and so I startedlooking around, particularly for
children's ministries, becauseI wanted for not only his older
kids but for our kids to makesure that they had children and
youth ministry in there.
And so he at first didn't actlike he really wanted to go.
(38:00):
So I was raised in aPentecostal church.
If you've not been in aPentecostal church then that's
probably not going to be yourfirst choice to go.
It's a shock, yeah, but it'swhat I knew, it's what I felt
comfortable with, and I feltlike, if I was going to have to
(38:21):
go to church by myself, I wantto go to a church that I'm
familiar with and comfortablewith.
So I found one in Maiden, soLiving Word Church, and I never
went by myself.
The first time I said let's go,we went, and we went every time
after that and that was I don'tknow a couple.
A couple times we went and youknow he just sat and went kind
(38:43):
of through the motions and I canremember sitting.
One day and for whatever reason, he went down to the altar and
I didn't know what was going on.
I kind of let him.
I didn't want to push him,obviously, because if there's
somebody who's not Christian.
You don't want to beoverwhelming, you don't want to
push them.
And I just remember him goingup there, the preacher praying
(39:04):
with him, and as he was walkingback, that's when the pastor
announced welcome, our newbrother in Christ, steve.
So he had gotten saved andnothing.
It wasn't anything about metelling him to go down there, it
was all on him.
And so ever since then we'vewent to church at the same
church and he got baptized.
(39:26):
It wasn't long after, not longafter he got saved, that he got
baptized.
And then we've just been to thesame church ever since.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So, steve, you didn't talkabout any of this to Tonya
before.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
No, it was kind of um out of the blue, you know it.
Just it was weighing on myheart.
Um, you know, we, we didn't goto church a whole lot, except
for maybe a Christmas serviceand that's it, and I don't know
it.
Just something told me it'stime and you need to go up there
and I did, and literally it wasthe best decision I ever made.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah, yeah.
So what did you think when youfirst stepped into a Pentecostal
church?
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Honestly, I was scared going in.
I was more scared going out.
It was shocking.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah, definitely a shocking experience.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
And it didn't help that one of the churchgoers he
didn't do it on the first day,but like after we had went a
couple of times he said well,now that you've been here a
couple of times, I think it'sprobably okay for us to bring
out the snakes packet of gummyworms.
Oh, that's funny and I thinkthat kind of relaxed yeah yeah,
(40:51):
exactly, yeah exactly it'sdefinitely um different.
It's an emotional church.
It um, but I like that.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Feeling the emotion.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
And that's when I told him that you know, just go
with me, I don't think you'll be, you know, disappointed, and I
honestly have never invitedsomebody who's not been
disappointed, Definitely, maybea little taken back by some
things, but um, he never oncesaid Tonya, I don't want to go
to that church, or.
I don't want to go back there.
It was once we started going.
(41:26):
That's the only place we'veever been.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Yeah, it's definitely not a church you're going to
fall asleep at.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
That's for sure.
It's perfect.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
So, Steve, how do you compare trying to fight your
addiction before giving yourlife to Christ versus after
giving your life to Christ?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Um, I think after you , kind of after you give your
life, you have meaning behindwhat your decisions are.
Um, you know, everything thatwe do now is for his glory and
not for our glory.
So it's not that addictionwhere it was, everything was for
me, me, me, me, me.
Now it's what can I do to showGod's glory to everybody else?
(42:10):
And that's what we try to liveby every day.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
And I definitely saw an instant change in him Once he
got saved.
It's just for the positive.
Obviously it was just adifferent.
Steve was already really good,but then when he got saved he
was like great, it was just awonderful guy to have around.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Tell us about the missionary and the calling that
you felt.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
If I remember correctly, it was probably so.
We were pre-warned about themissionary that was coming and
it was shocking, I mean just theway he spoke and kind of what
he put out.
I think he was from, I can'tremember, I think he was serving
(43:09):
in like Spain.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
So in Spain, is where he was when he came to visit,
and he's one of the missionariesthat our church supports.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yeah, so it was just kind of that, you know and this
has only happened probably acouple of times that it's like
when somebody speaks and wealways say it's God talking to
you, is it feels like it's adirect communications, like
literally sitting right in frontof you and it is who he is
talking to, and it was kind ofone of those things.
(43:41):
Well, of course, you know, I'mnot, we were Christians and
thing, but still was not likefully in church, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
But hadn't experienced that.
He was still a very youngChristian.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yes, who wouldn't?
Speaker 3 (43:58):
experience this.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
And that was probably really the first experience
with the Holy Spirit justtalking to me and course I
didn't say anything because I'mlike, oh, this is no, this ain't
right.
We got a caller and I don'tknow.
It was one of those, tony, Ithink he was talking to us.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
I said I agree, because I felt it too.
It was like, wow, it wasdefinitely the Holy Spirit
saying he's talking about youguys.
You guys are the ones that aregoing to be the missionaries in
this church right now.
So we were like, well, what dowe do?
Speaker 2 (44:33):
now we were excited.
We're like where are we going,when are we going?
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Exactly yeah, because when you think missionary, you
think going to another continent, another country.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Indeed.
So I was like, well, the kidsare at a good age for this.
They were still earlyelementary.
I was like this will be okay.
And so we talked to the pastorand his wife and kind of told us
what we needed to do to kind ofprepare for this.
But then, I think, you startedtaking classes, I did, he
(45:04):
started taking classes throughour conference.
They're based just outside ofGreensboro.
And then, like you said earlier, life just happened.
We got busy, we obviously knewabout this, but life just
happened with two young kidsgoing back to school, myself to
(45:28):
go to become a teacher, and wejust never really thought really
.
I mean, it was always in theback of our mind but we never
really said anything more aboutit, thing more about it.
And so that's kind of where wewere.
We knew that we had thiscalling, but we didn't know when
(45:49):
or where we would do this andthat kind of led to the Hope
Center.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
It did.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Yes, so how long has it been?
Three years ago, Three years.
Three years ago, the churchmentioned that they wanted to
sponsor a hope center in Maidenor because it's right there on
the Catawba-Lincoln line iswhere our church is, right there
outside of Maiden, and theywere looking to place one either
(46:15):
in Maiden area or in LincolnCounty or Lincolnton area,
lincoln County or Lincoln, um,uh, lincolnton area.
So as soon as and we had neverheard of this, but as soon as
they started talking andstarting the fundraising
component of it, um, we, uh,steve, like, I think in the
middle of church, did you nottext the preacher or pastor?
(46:37):
I didn't.
On that one I didn't, but wedefinitely our ears perked up
and I think it has something todo with how and he brought it
into the sermon about how peopleare going to treat.
We're going to have an exampleof how God is, how we are to
love people and treat people inthe next couple of years when
(47:00):
the Hope Center is open.
And so that immediately is, youknow, obviously passionate.
We're both passionate aboutthat, and so that's when we both
knew, gosh, this is a greatopportunity and we didn't really
think about it for us at thetime, we were just excited that
the church was going to do this?
Speaker 1 (47:20):
Did your church know anything about your past at all?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Some of them did.
You know, it's kind of one ofthose you don't want to be
judged, so you have to keep itto yourself.
Our pastor knew and ourassociate pastor knew.
I did give my testimony to ouryouth a couple of years before
that, so they knew.
(47:44):
But you know the church-wise,they did not and I honestly,
until I just made that Facebookpost, I think a lot of them had
no clue either.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Because it's just not something that's kind of we try
to bring it up in conversations.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
Oh, I know I was going to say say you were so
brave to put that out there likeyou did and to be able to be
willing to come on here and letit be broadcast yeah, it's been
a roller coaster here in thelast last little bit I'm sure it
has good stuff.
Yeah, yep.
(48:21):
So how did you um get involvedwith the Hope Center?
How did all that work out?
Well it's funny.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
After they got approved to be a sponsor in
church they were in the processof trying to find a house to do
it in.
Our pastor says you know, he'spreaching.
And when he got done he saidyou know, hey, listen, we've got
(48:51):
everything approved.
The Hope Center is looking fora director and a recovery pastor
for the House of Maiden.
And it was again that holyspirit talking to me.
And that's the time thatliterally I was texting him
during service saying I'm inlike what do I need to do?
um, and it's funny.
And then, kind of he, he textedme back and said, hey, go in
(49:15):
here and do an application.
So I actually pulled it up andstopped and I said, tanyaanya,
I'm not going to get this.
This is kind of I'm not this,this job's not for me.
And so she told me to call him,and actually called our pastor
and talked to him and he waslike listen, you can't live in
(49:37):
doubt.
He said this is your calling,you need to do this.
And we did, did, and it was a.
It was a very long process, umit it literally went for about a
year, um, through multipleinterviews, um, and then finally
getting the word saying you gotthe job, but we can't hire you.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Um, because we still had zoning stuff we had to go
through, um, they still had towait on closing the house.
So it was.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
It was almost out, close to a year, it was almost a
year and I remember him umtexting me and say I got the job
, and I think my response waspraise the Lord or something.
And then he responds back withbut I can't be hired right now.
So, and I understood I meanit's a nonprofit organization,
obviously, so they're in theprocess of trying to finalize
(50:36):
the house.
They're in the process ofgetting all cause.
There's a lot and they also hadto rezone it, which took a
little bit.
There was not a lot of people, Idon't think, understood what
the purpose of the house was inMaiden, and so there was a lot
of people against it and theremay be one or two people still
against it.
But I think, overwhelmingly,when the church showed up to the
(51:00):
zoning meeting or to thecouncil meeting, birch showed up
to the zoning meeting or to thecouncil meeting, it was amazing
how they said I didn't gobecause I didn't want to be like
a protective wife and kind ofget upset.
But Steve said you tell, likehow, like what was the
atmosphere there.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
You have to get zoning approved and then you
have to do an open forum for thecommunity with everybody around
the house and then once thatgets approved through the
council, then it goes to thezoning board, then it goes to
city council for their approval.
Well, of course, city councilis they bring everybody in from
(51:42):
the town of Maiden and I'll behonest with you, it was about
80-20, 80 in support and 20 justwanted nothing to do with it,
including a pastor.
Believe it or not, a pastorlives close to it and said I
think this is a great idea, thetown of Maiden absolutely needs
(52:03):
this, but it's too close towhere.
And said I think this is agreat idea.
We, the town of Maiden,absolutely needs this, but it's
too close to where I live.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
And, um, there was a police officer there and she was
, you know, completely againstit, but I will say the town of
Maiden, their board, it was aunanimous, a unanimous decision
to approve it.
So it was unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (52:26):
Yeah, I think people like you know, just sharing his
testimony, like people didn'tknow what he's been through, and
I don't think people realizehow many people in life have
been affected by drug addictionor alcohol addiction.
They don't realize that andthat's what you, I think, said
(52:49):
overwhelmingly.
Everybody in support was likeI've dealt with this with a
family member, I had a friendpass away and it was just
overwhelming to how much theysaid this is definitely needed
and so, yeah, so it was approved.
It was.
And we thought, okay, we'regoing to get a, he's going to
get a paycheck now, because, oh,we didn't.
(53:11):
He lost his job in February andwe were like it's okay, You're
going to get this job.
And I don't think he finallywas actually hired on until
April, mid-April.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Mid-April.
Speaker 3 (53:24):
Mid-April.
So we went from the first ofApril to mid-April and I again
was not upset or worried becauseI knew he had a job and I knew
that the Lord would take care ofus when you're obedient and you
pay your tithes.
And it was I'm not going to sayit was the easiest we didn't
(53:46):
get to live our, but we didnothing, we didn't go without.
We did not went extra we cutback a lot.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
We weren't going to let it affect especially our
kids and stuff like that.
You know we didn't eat outquite as much.
Probably didn't eat filet,instead we just had a ribeye or
nothing else.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
We had chopped sirloin yeah.
Speaker 3 (54:13):
We had a hamburger, but yeah, I mean it was
definitely something that wenever.
Every bill was paid, everythingwas taken care of, but we did.
We did feel I personally feltbad because I said that we would
take Paige on a senior trip.
And I don't think I think sheknew because I mean, we
(54:41):
obviously had the money to live,but we did not have the money
to take her on a cruise orsomething like that.
But I felt like she understood,I didn't, and I thought it was
very mature of her to do that,and so that was the one thing
that if I was upset aboutanything is that I said I would
take her on a senior trip.
You know that the whole familyor her friend or somebody could
(55:01):
go with, and we didn't get to dothat.
But she didn't ever sayanything about it.
And I think she understandsthat what we were doing was
something for the Lord and thatI will definitely take her on a
senior trip some other time, butright then it just wasn't going
to happen.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
And we finally did get the house purchased, um, and
then it still came in.
I don't even know why we Iguess we had to wait for Catawba
County to kind of give us ofhow many guys we can have
actually in the house.
So I spent two months there,every day.
(55:43):
We painted the whole house fromtop to bottom.
It was a huge task.
My parents were actually my momwas there almost every day with
me painting and my dad whenhe's not playing golf, of course
, he was over there helped pay.
So it it kept, of course, mymind um off of waiting for that
(56:06):
job, because it was always okay,it's gonna be the first of next
month or it's gonna be in twoweeks, but they just couldn't
say for definite because we, wewere just in that waiting period
, um for everything to comethrough.
So we actually may May 5th, weopened the doors.
We actually got our firstresidence in on May the 4th,
(56:29):
which we kind of weren'tsupposed to do, but we did.
They didn't, the guy didn'tstay in the house, but he was
our first resident.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
He stayed with the admissions coordinator in the
area.
Speaker 3 (56:45):
Oh, okay, Technically the first resident with a day
early, but then everybody elsecame on.
Speaker 2 (56:54):
the fifth which was our open house, which is so
funny because it was our churchopen house.
So we actually had residentscoming in from other centers
that were what we call our seedresidents.
So they were our first ones.
They had already been anywherefrom 30 to 45 days in the
(57:15):
program, so they were coming inalready knowing how it's
supposed to run and that way itkind of got us used to them and
got our house in order.
Yeah, which is a big part ofwhat the Hope Center is is
having that structure in place.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
Yeah, so can you just tell us, just describe to us,
what the Hope Center is and kindof the schedule, what these
guys go through from day to day?
Speaker 2 (57:44):
So our day starts off .
At 4.45 in the morning is theirwake-up time.
They have roll call at 4.55.
So roll call, everybody has tobe there.
Speaker 1 (58:00):
Oh, that's an early morning start.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
So they eat breakfast at 5.00 AM.
They eat together.
So our house is we, our house,we are a family, so we all eat
together every meal, um, andthen so they get done eating,
they do their chores, um, theydo their dishes and everything
clean up.
Then we go into praise andworship.
(58:26):
Every morning they usually dothree or four songs of praise
and worship, Then they go intotheir chores.
So our guys that are at thehouse right now we have probably
six that are in the house fulltime the other ones go to work.
Well, they go to do vocationaltraining.
(58:48):
So the other ones do all theirchores.
They clean the house from topto bottom Every single day mop,
they clean the whole house.
After that they do their bookwork.
So their book work would beBible studies, book work.
(59:08):
So their book work would beBible studies, stuff like that.
12 o'clock they eat lunch, oneo'clock they go into what we
call their soaps and all that isis their, their counseling,
with our recovery pastor doingall that till about three
o'clock.
At three o'clock we kind oftend to lighten up a little bit.
The guys get home, we eatdinner at five.
(59:30):
The ones that are in training,um, on Mondays they go to
celebrate recovery every Monday.
Um Tuesdays is pretty much thesame, but after three o'clock
they have a free day.
Um Wednesday nights they go tochurch.
Thursday nights are free night.
(59:50):
Friday night we do familysupport.
So you know we can, thefamilies can come in.
They do.
You know, just talk aboutbringing the families back
together what we can do, andthen, if they can't we do, we do
it on Zoom so all the familiescan log in when they get done.
The residents can have kind oflike a one-on-one time with them
(01:00:14):
, their family, which is reallynice for them.
Especially we have some thatyou know are from.
We have a guy from Hawaii, soof course he doesn't have any
contact with his family.
So that was his only time, soof course he doesn't have any
contact with his family.
So that was his only time.
And then Saturday morning wehave house church every Saturday
morning and then, of course,church on Sunday.
(01:00:38):
You know our house runs inphases.
So our first 30 days is what wecall our first phase.
First phase they don't leavethe house unless it's for
Celebrate, recovery church or ifwe're doing community service.
Either or not, they're thereall the time.
Our second phasers are afterthat 30 days.
(01:01:00):
We try to find them vocationaltraining.
So they go out, they work a 40hour work week, um, and then
they have the option of if theydon't get in any trouble, they
follow all the rules.
Then they can actually go on asunday pass as long as the
family comes to church.
So the only way they can goanywhere that we have to see
(01:01:23):
their family, um, their familyhas to go through a class saying
you know, this is our rules andstuff, that you have to abide
by these rules if you want themto go.
So they do that.
They usually leave right afterchurch and then come back by
five o'clock.
And then our third phase is kindof it lightens up.
They can actually get their ownjobs, jobs, they get their own
(01:01:48):
paychecks, they get, you know,they can have a car, they can
have a cell phone, um, and theirrules would be they just have
to be in an hour before curfew,um, and then they're still under
the same rules, as they stillhave to buy, buy random drug,
drug tests, and that all thetime.
And we do our random drug tests, we try to do them.
(01:02:12):
We have to do them within 30days.
I don't really like to go 30days, I don't like people to
know when we're going to do it,because our job is to keep these
guys clean and help them withtheir sobriety.
So I tend to mix ours up.
So you know, some people mighthave one one day and two days
later I might give them anotherone.
Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Just because I don't want them to.
Well, what would happen if theydid test positive?
So if somebody snuck some in?
Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
So if they test positive, they are automatically
removed from the program.
So we and when we say that they, we do not allow them to walk
off our property we physicallyput them in a car and we take
them either back to their familyor even a homeless shelter or
(01:03:02):
something like that.
But yeah, we've never, we don'tlet anybody walk off our
property.
Speaker 3 (01:03:06):
I think that was a big concern with the citizens
that were.
Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
That's understandable , yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
And I get that as a mother.
I understand that, but I thinkthat's really good.
They never can leave bythemselves, obviously.
So if there is an issue, oreven if one I think he's had one
that just said I can't do thisand it's not a matter of OK, see
, they took them, I think,somewhere in Caldwell County.
(01:03:34):
I mean they, they took themthere and dropped them off, and
and that was volunteer,voluntarily.
Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Yeah, he just voluntarily.
Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
Yeah.
He was like I just don't thinkthis is for me.
Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Yeah.
So how does?
How do they even get into yourprogram?
Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
So they have to go through an application process
and then once our admissionsteam gets their application,
then they go in and do aninterview of them and you know,
applications could be whilethey're incarcerated it could be
somebody off the streets justtrying to find a place to get
clean.
So once they get through thatpart of the interview, then our
(01:04:15):
program costs $700.
It's a one-year program, whichis unbelievable.
That that's all they charge forsomebody to come in for a year.
It is yeah, and the funny partis if they complete the program
they get their $700 back.
So they literally can come infor free.
(01:04:37):
And of course we don't turnanybody away.
We have scholarships andsponsorships that could help
people out.
But yeah, they come to us, weget to interview them when they
get to the house and if we feelthat they're going to be a good
fit for our house, then we willaccept them into the program.
Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
And, I think, can you send them to other locations if
you're either full and we havelocations around us.
Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
We have some in mount airy galax, virginia, roanoke,
virginia um dunn, north carolinaand goldsboro north carolina so
we have enough around us thatwe can pack them up in a car and
drive them you know, two hoursto another center yeah,
especially if you have residentsnot getting along.
(01:05:28):
And we've had one.
We've had one that just wasn't.
He was there for about 30 days.
It just wasn't a good fit forhim and we ended up moving him
to another center and now he isjust excelling in the program
and he's one of the leaders inthat house.
So it's just sometimes you'vegot personalities that just
don't go well together.
Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
Right, they don't click.
Yeah, yeah, we understand thatteaching middle school, don't we
Tonya?
Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
And as educators, I think that's what I love about
the program is they are, firstand foremost, they're teaching
you about Jesus, and then theyare teaching you how to restore
your relationships with yourfamilies and friends, and then
they're teaching you how to geta job and to keep a job, and
(01:06:20):
then they are teaching you howto become responsible with your
money and be a good steward withthat money.
And I think that's the neatestthing is that it's not just
we're going to get you clean fora year and then you're on your
way.
And then you're on your own.
They do give you, I feel, theskills necessary to remain sober
(01:06:45):
, and that's what I like aboutit is that they are teaching you
these things, and I love to seethe transformation of just the
ones that are.
You just see them with the lovethat they have for the Lord and
how they come in just defeated.
And now, after they've beenthere a couple of months, you
can see that they are, you know,worshiping in church, which
(01:07:09):
we've never seen.
You know, like you know, duringpraise and worship they might
even be singing is a big deal.
But then, when you raise yourhand and worship the Lord, we're
like wow, this is an amazingtransformation that we get to
witness, and not only us butalso all of the other church
members are seeing this happenright before our eyes, and I
(01:07:29):
think that's what's the neatestthing about it is that it is
just all done and we just giveall the glory to God, because it
doesn't matter if Steve wasthere, or the recovery pastor,
or our church pastor.
This is with their help.
The Lord is just transformingthese people's lives, and I just
think that's the neatest thing.
Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
And we run our house.
Our house is very structured.
It is your bed's made.
Every day.
It is very strict rules because, being an addict, your whole
life you haven't followed rulesand you've made your own rules
and we're teaching you how tofollow the rules and know and
(01:08:12):
when you leave this program, youknow exactly what you should be
doing and not just doingwhatever you want to do because,
honestly, we had a residenthere lately that he just he
wanted to do whatever he wantedto do and we had the
conversation listen, that's whatgot you in this spot you're in
now.
You want to do it your way.
So let's do it God's way andlet's do it.
(01:08:34):
You know the way, the way we'resupposed to do it, and he's
another one, he's just excelledfrom it.
But yeah, they just you got toget that mindset out of doing
everything your way.
Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
Your way.
Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
You have to do it God's way, because your way is
not right.
Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Your way is what got you into this.
Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Clearly something wasn't working there, so let's
try.
And in my thought process, whatdo you have to lose?
I mean the ones that were not,you know, Christian.
I think there's been a coupleof salvations, and right, there
is a win in itself If you've had.
(01:09:15):
I don't know how many peoplesaved just in the short few
months.
That's worth it, right, becausethat is ultimately what we're
called to do is bring people toChrist, and so that is just.
It's so neat, when there is one, that that in baptisms they had
a baptism service.
Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
We had six residents out of our first.
I think we were at 12.
Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
So half of our residents got baptized on the
same day and that wasunbelievable.
Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
That's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
Yeah, it was so exciting, Especially when you're
going to stand up and proclaimhey, I'm a Christian, I'm going
to follow Christ, and especiallyjust thinking, you know, just
even two months ago, what werethey doing with their lives, and
now they're like to me, likeSteve, it's the greatest thing
ever to give your life to Christand to just give everything to
(01:10:04):
Him and don't worry about it andstuff.
So I'm so proud of those guys.
I'm so proud of them and I thinkthat is.
What's really neat is that weget to do this ministry together
.
So I'm there, whether it'shelping them learn how to cook
with a larger portion size.
(01:10:24):
Or I think we patched up aguy's pants.
He was going to throw them awayand my daughter and I were like
, don't throw those away, we cansew them up or put a patch in
it.
And he was like, oh okay, also,if they need like allergy
medicine, I kind of am oldenough to be most of their moms
it's about 50-50.
(01:10:45):
And so they come to me like Ineed some allergy medicine.
I just feel so bad.
And Steve was like you'll befine and I'm like I'll get you
some allergy medicine.
Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
Mama Tanya yeah, that's what they call me Mama
Tanya.
Speaker 3 (01:10:59):
I think that's what's so neat about it is we get to
do the ministry together, ourgirls obviously Paige is off at
school now, but they have spentseveral days and just any
opportunity that we have to bethere with the guys they go and
you think about it.
I mean they've given up theirlife for a year and some of them
(01:11:21):
see a family member regularlythat comes to church and some of
them I've not seen any familycome and I don't know if it's a
distance thing or if it's amoney thing or if it's maybe
their family isn't healed fromthe hurt.
It's just, and I am a firmbeliever that they will come
(01:11:41):
around.
But and that's when we say okay, that's why our family's there.
So we're kind of their littleadopted sisters and I'm the mom
of the house and Steve's parentsare there all the time and they
call her in, because we allknow what it feels like.
We've all been either affectedby it in Steve's case, an actual
(01:12:12):
addict or us, as loved ones,have been.
You know, we've experienced it.
So I think it's exciting.
Speaker 1 (01:12:19):
Yeah, I think so.
So how do you support theseguys once they graduate the
program?
Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
well, that's the hard part.
Um, you know, the hardest thingwith with them is is not not
trying to let them go back towhere they came from.
Um, we are, we are big on, hey,let's keep you around here, but
you know, and a lot of timesthat's just they're just going
(01:12:49):
to go back home.
Yeah, so on the side that weare trying to figure out a way
to do a graduation house, somaybe do a house that we can the
graduates come in and it givesthem maybe another year to to
(01:13:09):
live in a house, share it withother graduates, kind of keeps,
kind of balancing your money.
Have an accountability partnerthere with you, but then
following the same drug testrules and all that, but it gives
them a space of their own thatthey have to.
They'll pay rent on and theyhave to keep it up, but that way
(01:13:31):
we can keep a close eye on themand we can also be there if
they need us.
Yeah, but yeah the hardestthing is just you see a lot of
people just relapse them becausethey go back home.
Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
Right, right yeah.
Where it started and those badinfluences.
And yeah, I'm sorry, go aheadTonya.
Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
The hope is, with their vocational training, which
eventually becomes their job,obviously that they are able to
financially support themselvesif they choose to live around
here, and that's why weobviously rent is not cheap
anymore, I mean, it's insane.
So that is what I think we'rekind of praying for now is to
(01:14:19):
maybe have this home eventually,so that they don't feel the
need to go home right away, sothat they can, you know,
hopefully be proud of themselvesand the progress they've made
and then, if they do want to gohome eventually, they have a
little bit more time in betweenwhat they've done previously.
Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
Yeah, you mentioned a guy from Hawaii, so I guess
y'all have guys from all walksof life.
Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
So I guess y'all have guys from all walks of life, we
do.
The guy from Hawaii actuallywas a D1 football player.
Ended up going.
He hurt his shoulder.
Was supposed to go in thesecond round of the NFL draft.
Ended up falling out of thedraft because he had injury to
his shoulder.
(01:15:09):
Ended up being on the practicesquad for a year and a half, had
to let him go and then that'swhen he fell into his addiction
of alcohol, but he actuallycompleted the program in Hawaii,
so we have a campus there,ended up relapsing and kind of
(01:15:32):
said I want to go back and ouradmissions guy from north
carolina was actually in hawaiitrying to help out up there and
said, hey, listen, you want toget clean, get on a plane, let's
go.
And they flew and he was.
He was here for a couple ofdays and then he was in our
center.
He was actually our firstresident, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:15:50):
And then come like usually they're around this area
but it could be anywhere in theUnited States that they need
help and I think I have a lot ofrespect for the guys who may be
from this area, but no, this isnot the house for them.
So they'll say I want to be apart of this program, but is
(01:16:12):
there one that you can takebecause I just cannot be around
this area?
So I think that happenedrecently.
You took one.
It was to Virginia.
He said I want to be in theprogram but I don't know that
being this close to home is thisclose.
So he had enough sense to say Ineed to go elsewhere, but it's
still within driving distance ofhis family.
(01:16:33):
But then again, if somebodywants to get far away, I mean,
obviously there is how manylocations was it 57 in the?
Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
United States.
Speaker 3 (01:16:41):
So we can find a place for them if there's a bed
open there.
Speaker 1 (01:16:46):
So when I was on the website, is it Oklahoma,
somewhere that has a man's home,but then there's also a women's
house as well.
Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
Correct.
Yeah, we do, men and women.
It's actually I think it's inthe works right now that they
would like to start.
We're going to try to start one, a women's hope center in
Lincoln.
Yeah, so it'll be sponsored byour same church, but would be a
(01:17:20):
woman's house.
Speaker 3 (01:17:21):
And I think that total number of campuses include
some women.
I can't remember how many arewomen and men, but it does
include the total right.
Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
Male and female homes .
Speaker 3 (01:17:32):
And that's important as well, because when they were
talking to town councils and oneof the people and our pastor
mentioned it that he was veryadamant.
Well, this is a great thing forthe men, but you can't forget
the women as well.
There's a great need for womenhouses like this as well.
Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
It was actually somebody in a local police
department that said it.
Speaker 3 (01:17:59):
Yeah, we need a women's house.
So I think, they were prayingabout it and they feel pretty
led that they're going tosponsor a woman's house as well.
Speaker 1 (01:18:07):
Oh, that's great to hear.
So you said you have 57worldwide.
Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
No, that's just United States.
Speaker 1 (01:18:15):
Oh, that's just the United States.
Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
And then I think we have quite a few outside of the
United States.
Speaker 3 (01:18:23):
There's one in Thailand for women that they
just opened.
And that one is supported bythe government.
The government was big evenwith the faith-based program.
They were astonished with thestatistics and all that.
So the government said, hey,let's see what you can do.
Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
And then in Belize, hey, let's see what you can do.
And then in Belize.
That's amazing because there'sso much like communism in those
Southeast Asian countries.
Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
Yes, and so they've got that one.
Belize just opened one, and I'mtrying to think of some other
countries, but you would besurprised where they're at.
Actually, it's definitely theLord for them to put in these
Christian-based recovery centers, but they just have such a huge
(01:19:14):
problem, particularly withwomen in Thailand, that they
wanted to give this a oh yeah.
So it'll be interesting to seethe statistics on that I was
wrong.
Speaker 2 (01:19:24):
It's 51.
In the United States 57 total.
Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
Okay, okay, so you mentioned the rate.
What are the figures?
Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
for recovery.
So the national average is 18%.
The Hope Center's average is16% 18%.
Speaker 1 (01:19:44):
For who?
Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Graduation rate Okay, yeah, centers, uh, average is
18 percent.
For who?
Graduation rate okay, yeah.
So, um, the rate of it'sprobably, I don't know 70, 30, I
think, men's to women's house.
So does that answer yourquestion?
Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
I think he got ahead of himself there.
Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
I was just so.
I was trying to figure out,like you know, for the recovery
rate, what is the percentage ofthose?
Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
Yeah, we're at a 61% graduation rate 61% graduation
rate Okay, and those that are18% are those that don't and
those that are 18% are thosethat don't.
Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
That is the national average for your regular
rehabilitation centers.
Okay, Now granted that could bea 30-day program.
That could be a 60-day programCould be a year-long program?
Yeah, so 61%.
And the big thing about HopeCenter is probably about 80% of
the Hope Centers are now ran byguys who have been through the
(01:20:49):
program, so they'll graduate,then they turn around and train
and eventually, within two yearshave their own center.
Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
Wow, okay, yeah, that gives purpose.
I think that's probably what alot of them are lacking, don't
you think?
Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
Absolutely, and we've got quite a few that say,
listen, I'm graduating.
They laugh.
They always say, man, we'recoming for your job.
Speaker 3 (01:21:18):
Y'all keep saying that, but I think you're right.
I think at some point drug useand I'm not, I've never used
drugs, so I can't say this but Igather there's some point in
their life where they have a lowself-esteem and like Steve will
even tell you well, he told youI didn't think I was qualified
for this job, he just didn'tthink he could do it, and it
(01:21:40):
just the encouragement of thepastor and myself and that's
what these guys need as well.
So, and I like how they can doan internship once they finish
the program and then they can goto a paid apprenticeship before
and this all along is trainingpurposes and then they can have
their own center, I mean, withina couple of years.
(01:22:04):
These guys have a great purposein life and so, yeah, I think
that's what they lack.
Speaker 1 (01:22:11):
Yes, so that's wonderful.
So 61% success rate for astrong, faith-based, structured
environment Absolutely Wow, wow,absolutely Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:22:34):
So what happens if there's a relapse?
So if they do relapse they,depending on who the house is
nine times out of 10, we willrestart them in the program.
You know, we're definitely notgoing to say you know, okay, you
relapse, we're not ever goingto take it back, because that's
(01:22:57):
how are we going to be.
We're going to be forgiven byGod, but yet we're not going to
forgive somebody for relapsing.
No, we're going to, we're goingto bring it back, but we're
probably going to put them intoa different center, a different
atmosphere, probably furtheraway.
So we can try to keep that,Because we know their faith is
there.
They just made a bad decision.
We're just going to move themaway where they can be a little
(01:23:20):
bit further away from where theygot in trouble.
Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
Yeah, yeah.
So, going back to theirschedule, what's some of the
downtime activities that y'allhave on those rest days?
So?
Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
they, it's so funny they.
We actually have a ping pongtable, we have a pool table, we
have corn hole, you know, ofcourse they can watch TV
Basketball Basketball goal.
It's a.
We just put in some horse.
Of course they can watch TVBasketball Basketball goal.
We just put in some horseshoepit.
(01:23:54):
They always have something todo.
We have a weight room in ourgarage.
They have plenty to keep thembusy.
Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
Yeah, I think it's interesting.
On, like some Saturdays, theyhave a family Saturday.
I want to make sure.
Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
So, out of four Saturdays, we have a family
Saturday, which means all thefamily can come in.
We'll do a cookout, We'll dosomething where you know we've
put out a slip and slide and ablow up something fun.
One Saturday we'll do atournament day, so we'll play
(01:24:36):
darts, We'll have a darttournament, have a pool
tournament, have a cornholetournament, and the winners of
them we give them a $20 giftcard.
And then our third Saturday isusually our rest day.
They can get up, eat breakfast,do their house, church and then
(01:24:56):
they can just relax the rest ofthe day.
They can go back to bed if theywant to.
You'd be amazed if guys get upearly at 4.45, they get an off
day.
You're probably not going tosee them a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:25:08):
I hope so we're going to burn that Saturday up yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:25:12):
Catch up on their sleeping.
Speaker 1 (01:25:14):
Yeah, I was going to say catch up on the lost sleep.
Speaker 2 (01:25:16):
Yes, and then the last Saturday is we try to do
like a paid rec, so we'll go and.
Speaker 3 (01:25:24):
We've went to the Hickory Meadows Speedway.
Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
They've been bowling, so we try to do something fun.
You know as hot as it is rightnow.
Our guys are going to the pool.
This Saturday, one of ourchurch members opened up his
pool and said hey, bring, bringyour families over and let's
just have a pool day Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (01:25:46):
Yeah, wonderful.
Speaker 2 (01:25:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
Okay, so last thing I want to talk about is this gala
event.
Can you tell the audience aboutthis?
Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
So this is our first ever gala.
It is literally.
It's going to be a night toremember.
Yeah, it's at the ProvidenceMill in Maiden, an absolute
beautiful facility, and we havestrung together a team that has
(01:26:21):
really just made this eventspectacular.
Yeah, it's going to it's goingto be something special.
Yeah, and it's our.
It's what we really we try tolive off for a year.
You know it helps us keep thehouse up and running.
You know repairs and stuff.
(01:26:42):
You know you think you gotright.
Now we're at 16, we're gettingready to go to 34.
You know that's a whole lot ofwear and tear on the house that
is.
Speaker 1 (01:26:51):
So you got 16 men living there and you're getting
ready to expand it to 34 men asour septic gets done to 34.
Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
Okay, we're in a construction zone right now,
redoing the basement.
Yeah, so know it'll be a greatfood.
The smoke pit out of Corneliusis going to cater our food.
What's it?
Cornelius or Concord?
Maybe Concord, I'm not sure,but absolutely amazing.
(01:27:21):
You know we've got audio videos, so we'll have testimonies from
a graduate of the program whois now actually an intern, and
then a couple of our residentsare going to do their testimony.
You know, one is a former Well,some of a former, I guess he
(01:27:48):
was in the Army.
Speaker 3 (01:27:49):
Oh yeah, he's a veteran.
Speaker 2 (01:27:50):
Yeah.
And then we've got one who justgot out of prison after 10
years in prison.
So they're going to do theirtestimonies and they're
absolutely just unbelievable,literally emotional testimonies.
And then we'll have someauction stuff.
(01:28:11):
We've got a silent auction.
We'll have a live auction.
We have Eric Church VIP tickets.
We have six tickets to a UNCfootball game.
We have a trip to Montana.
One of our Hope Center houseshas Airbnb in Montana, so we're
(01:28:35):
going to auction that off.
Speaker 3 (01:28:39):
Baskets for the silent auction.
It's going to be a really neatway to donate to the cause, to
help the house stay open andhelp these guys.
And so we're excited.
It's the first one.
We're a little nervous becausewe really don't have anything to
go by.
(01:28:59):
But the church is amazing.
They put the committee together.
We meet about once a week andevery day, every time we meet,
there's just more exciting newsthat they've got this many
sponsorships and they've gotthis and we're going to have
this going on.
And usually I'd like to say,they get about a year to plan
(01:29:22):
this and by the time this is allsaid and done, we will have
have had a total of maybe sixweeks something like that six
weeks to plan this event and I,like I said, it's going to be a
spec, a spectacular event.
it's a gatsby kind of theme.
Um, it's going to have like theold hollywood type, hollywood
(01:29:44):
type decor come in your best orcome just however you feel led
to come, but if you want to wearI mean I always say somebody is
always looking for a goodopportunity to dress up and have
good food, so well, it's reallygoing to be a neat thing.
Speaker 1 (01:30:01):
Yeah, yeah.
So what?
How do we order tickets?
Speaker 2 (01:30:05):
Yeah, so what?
How do we order tickets?
So the easiest way is you go toit's hopecmcom backslash gala
and then just go under themaiden, the maiden link, and you
can buy your tickets right offof there.
There's $65 a ticket or you canbuy a whole table which seats
(01:30:29):
eight, for 500.
Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:30:31):
And it is worth.
It's going to be worth everypenny.
Speaker 1 (01:30:36):
And that's September 9th.
September 9th, Okay.
Well, I appreciate you guysbeing willing to come on here
and share your testimony.
Speaker 3 (01:30:48):
Well, thank you for having us.
I know when you reached out tous I thought, well, I would love
to do that, but it's really histestimony to tell, and he
didn't hesitate.
So I'm so glad that he'swilling to share what he's
overcome and what God's done inhis life.
Speaker 1 (01:31:09):
So thank you for having us.
Thank you very much, yes.
Hi and welcome back to the Beyond Existing podcast.
With me today are a couple I'mexcited to introduce.
What a wonderful testimony thatthey have to share.
Tonya and I worked together atRiverbend and we only worked
together for about a year beforeI retired, but we used to talk
daily and it's just funny howyou think you know somebody and
(00:24):
you really don't.
And you'll see what I mean whenwe get into this episode.
And Steve, he's the director ofthe Hope Center in Maiden,
north Carolina.
Before we get started, I wantto share a Facebook post that
Steve shared with Tonya andyou'll see the reason why I
(00:46):
asked them to come on today.
His post reads 20 years sober.
Addiction is a disease that hastouched everyone in some way,
whether personally or throughfamily and friends.
As the Hope Center in Maidenprepares to host its first gala,
I want to take a moment toshare what your support means.
(01:08):
20 years ago, I made thelife-changing decision to get
clean after a 10-year battlewith addiction.
My struggle began in highschool and continued through my
20s.
I hurt my parents and familyemotionally and financially.
At 21, I lost my job workingfor my mom due to failed drug
(01:28):
tests.
After a series of short-termjobs.
I was given the opportunity towork for my dad.
He taught me a lot, but despitehis and my mom's support, I
still wasn't ready to give up myaddiction.
In 2003, I overdosed.
I was found in my rented roomthree days later by my dad and
brother.
I was wrapped in a blanket onthe floor.
(01:51):
I spent three days in ICU andthe doctor told my family that
if it had been any longer, theywould have been preparing for my
funeral.
I was left with a tingling inmy arm that wouldn't go away,
the lingering result of theoverdose.
After recovering and going backto work, the first customer I
(02:12):
visited was a doctor's office inTaylorsville.
There I met my wife, tanya.
She helped me get immediatemedical care for the tingling in
my arm caused by the overdose,specifically where the blanket
had been tightly wrapped aroundme.
We began dating, but I wasn'tready to change.
In a moment of desperation, Istole everything from her bank
(02:34):
account.
Tonya had no choice but toleave, moving with her family to
Georgia to heal from thebetrayal.
Despite my near-death experience, I continued down the path of
addiction.
But two years later, tonyareached out to me out of the
blue, simply asking if I wasstill alive.
It was that conversation thatfinally made me realize it was
(02:59):
time to let go of drugs.
She moved back to NorthCarolina and six weeks later we
were married.
Marrying her was the secondbest decision of my life.
The best decision came 13 yearsago, when I gave my life to
Jesus and was baptized shortlythereafter.
We've attended the same churchever since.
(03:19):
About 10 years ago, amissionary from the IPHC
preached at Living Word Church.
At the end of the service hespoke about people being called
into missions.
As I drove home with Tonya, Iknew that we were the ones being
called.
We never imagined it would leadus to serve in Maiden, north
Carolina.
(03:40):
I am so thankful for God's graceand mercy and the love, support
and forgiveness of my family.
Today I am the director of HopeCenter.
Ministries made in campus afaith-based recovery house where
I help men struggling withaddiction.
Recovery programs like the HopeCenter focus on restoring lives
and restoring families.
My two oldest children didn'tget the best version of me.
(04:04):
How could they when I was deepin addiction.
Restoring my relationshipwithin them has been a work in
progress over the years.
That's why facilities like theHope Center are so crucial.
Here, men not only learn torestore their lives, but they
also rebuild their relationshipswith their families, all
(04:26):
through the guidance of Christ.
To provide this ministry tothose battling addiction, we
host an annual gala to raiseawareness and funds for each
Hope Center location.
The Maiden Gala will be held onSeptember 9th at the Providence
Cotton Mill.
Please prayerfully considersupporting this important cause.
(04:47):
Had a program like the HopeCenter been available to me, I
could have possibly gottencleaner sooner and spared my
family some of the pain I caused.
Thank you for yourconsideration and for being part
of the journey to restorationand healing.
Should you feel led to helpthis great cause, please reach
out to me or click this linkwwwhopecmcom.
(05:11):
Forward slash gala and click.
Made in North Carolina.
So, steve, best decision youever made, huh Best decision
Best decision, Best decision yes, I would agree.
So you went from nearly dyingoverdosing in 2003, to being the
(05:32):
director of a men's recoverycenter and sharing Jesus.
Do you mind sharing a littleabout how this addiction even
began?
Speaker 2 (05:45):
Well, I have two older brothers.
One is still fighting addictionand he kind of set me down that
road.
I hate to say that, but he kindof set me down that road and it
just kind of just spiraled forprobably the next 10 years.
Speaker 1 (06:01):
Mm-hmm, do you mind sharing what was your drug of
choice?
Speaker 2 (06:08):
So I was addicted to cocaine.
Of course it started withmarijuana and then kind of went
down the road, pretty much triedeverything.
But I would say cocaine wasprobably the last.
Probably the last eight yearswas all cocaine.
Speaker 1 (06:25):
Yeah, Wow.
So so you overdosed in 2003.
How long did it take you torecover from that overdose?
Speaker 2 (06:37):
Well, I mean, I hate to say this, but I'm still
body-wise.
It's, I don't think it's evergoing to fully recover, but it
took.
It probably took a couple ofyears to fully fully recover.
Speaker 1 (06:51):
Oh, wow, okay, so you worked with your dad.
Can you explain the occupation,what you were doing at the time
you met Tonya?
Speaker 2 (07:00):
So we were in communications, we did voice and
data wiring.
We actually maintained theoutside clinics for the hospital
, that we did their telephonesystem and kept them up and
running.
So of course that's where I metTanya.
She was the office manager inTaylorsville.
Speaker 1 (07:21):
Okay, all right.
So Tanya when you met him?
Love at first sight?
Steve is nodding his head.
Speaker 3 (07:31):
Yes, I don't know.
He's obviously nice looking,but he was definitely you could
tell that he was very sick orrecovering.
I mean he's very thin.
But it was just talking to himimmediately.
I just felt just an instantconnection of just liking him,
(07:57):
feeling the need to help him out.
So, was it love at first sight?
I would say probably.
I mean, it just was like assoon as I met him I knew I just
wanted him to be part of my life.
Speaker 1 (08:09):
Yeah, what about you, steve?
Speaker 2 (08:11):
Oh, of course.
Speaker 1 (08:12):
Of course, good answer, exactly All right.
Tonya, you said somethingthat's so interesting to me.
You felt that the Holy Spiritspoke to you when you guys met.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I do.
I have people come in and outof the office all the time and.
I would never go through thelengths that I did to make sure
he got in with a doctor to makesure that he was able to pay for
it because he did not havehealth insurance.
(08:52):
I did stuff that I would neverdo.
I don't know that I necessarilyrecognized it as the Holy
Spirit right then, but now thatI look back I think you know
that was the Holy Spirit sayingyou need to help him and you
need to make sure that he'staken care of and so.
(09:14):
But yeah, I would have neverdone that before.
I mean he knows me and evenafter, like being married for
almost 20 years, that's notsomething I would typically do.
I'd love to help people, butnot to the extreme that I helped
him.
Speaker 1 (09:30):
Yeah, so that first month y'all were together were
you pretty much inseparable.
Yeah except for working.
Speaker 3 (09:40):
Yeah, when I would work and he would work, we would
just not see each other duringthe day, but the evening hours
we would go out and dinner andspend it at the house.
Speaker 2 (09:53):
At least for a little bit.
For a little bit, it didn'tlast very long.
No, that addiction just cameright back.
Yeah, it was at first, yes, andthen it was maybe once every
couple of days, and then itwould be a week at a time.
Of course, at the end it wasvery rare.
Speaker 1 (10:16):
Yeah, yeah, all right .
So what happened at the end ofthat first month Tonya?
Speaker 3 (10:24):
Well, I went to the store to I don't know if it was
gas or what I was getting and Itook out my debit card and it
was declined and I thought, well, why in the world would that be
declined?
I just got paid and I just keptthinking to myself something's
off.
And I went home this was beforeyou had your mobile apps and
(10:48):
all that and I called the bankand, sure enough, I was in the
negatives already and I had justgotten paid and I just could
not figure it out.
And then I couldn't find.
No, I couldn't find.
I did have my debit card, buthe had had it, because I think
he went to get gas or pick upsomething for me, and I guess it
(11:10):
was in that timeframe that hewent to.
Did you go to the ATM?
Is that he went to the ATM?
and cleaned me out, uh-huh, sooh my goodness.
Speaker 1 (11:21):
And then you said something did he steal your ring
too?
I?
Speaker 3 (11:25):
had a ring.
Um, he doesn't remember that,but I do just remember hiding it
because I just I wanted totrust him but I wasn't gonna say
anything.
And sure enough, I went afterall of that transpired.
I went looking and it wasn'tthere.
(11:45):
And I don't know who.
I know I put it there, so Idon't know anybody else who
would have taken that.
But he says he doesn't rememberthat.
Speaker 2 (11:54):
No, you don't really.
I mean.
What people don't understand isyou can think you had something
, but an addict's going to findit yeah yeah, yep.
Speaker 1 (12:07):
So steve um what was going through your mind as you
were pulling uh money from heraccount uh, it was always that
next high that next high it'sreally you're not thinking about
who you're hurting what youhave going on.
Speaker 2 (12:23):
It's the only thing in your mind is is where can I
get it?
Um, it's not really who you canget it from, it's just how can
you get it?
Speaker 1 (12:30):
how can you get it?
Yeah, yeah, so tanya um.
So after he wiped you out, youobviously I mean, were you
living by yourself at the time?
Yeah, so you obviously couldn'tmake ends meet.
Speaker 3 (12:46):
No, and I just, it wasn't too long ago, I had just
graduated from college and youknow, you're, you're struggling,
you know by yourself, and so I,just I, I didn't.
I felt hopeless and helpless atthe same time.
And so I called my parents and,of course, come on, come on
(13:08):
home.
And that's what I did and justthought, okay, this will be good
to put some space between usanyway.
So that's when I moved.
Speaker 1 (13:23):
So, so, when you moved back, you were totally
heartbroken and devastated.
Yes, what did you like?
How did you handle it?
What, what were you praying?
I?
Speaker 3 (13:38):
in the beginning I was very angry and I just did.
I couldn't understand how Iwent so much out of my way to
help him and at the time I knewnothing about addiction.
So now I see and look at it, Iget it and I really genuinely
don't think he meant to hurt me.
(13:59):
It's your typical addict justlooking for the next high.
So after I moved there Istarted working, I tried to kind
of find friends, go out, and Iwould say probably the next six
months transpired before Istarted to pray.
I didn't want to go out just ondates with people.
(14:24):
I was looking to date to marryand I just wasn't finding that.
And so that's when I probablystarted to pray for the Lord to,
you know, send me who you wantme to be with and you know, let
me be open to who you want me tospend my life with.
And that's when I just startedpraying that I probably prayed
(14:47):
it for about, I don't know,probably the next four or five
months, Because was it about ayear?
I think it was about a yearwhen we kind of started talking
again.
But that was my prayer JustLord, send me somebody good,
somebody that can treat me good,and just somebody that I can
trust.
Speaker 1 (15:06):
Basically, yeah Well, how did y'all reconnect?
Speaker 3 (15:11):
After praying, and praying, and praying, he was
just always on my heart and mindand I was wrestling with that
because I was like Lord, you'renot going to send me the guy who
just totally crushed me.
This is just not going tohappen.
So I just felt like I need tojust see if he's even alive.
And that's what he posted onhis Facebook.
(15:33):
I literally thought in my mindhe surely can't be alive if he's
done that and went back todrugs.
So I called his place ofemployment and he was still on
the voice recording and so Isaid, well, let me make sure his
phone number is still the same.
So when I hit it, I think itgave your option for his cell
(15:55):
phone, which it was.
So after I did that I don't knowif it was the same day or maybe
the next day I said, well, I'mgoing to call him.
It was the same day or maybethe next day.
I said, well, I'm going to callhim.
And so that's when I blockedthe number because I thought,
well, if he doesn't want to talkto me, I'll just know he's okay
.
And if, because even to thisday he is not going to answer a
(16:16):
blocked call, and neither wouldI and I literally blocked it and
I would say just a couple ofrings.
He answered the phone.
I literally blocked it.
And I would say just a couple ofrings.
He answered the phone and I waslike Steve and he was like, yes
, he was actually on a baseballfield, so we didn't get to talk
very long.
(16:37):
He was coaching his son'slittle league team and he said I
will call you back, I promise.
And I was like okay, whatever.
And sure enough, I guess afterwas it after the game or when
you got home?
Do you know if it was when Igot home?
When he got home he called meand that kind of started just
(16:58):
the conversation and I didn'treally bring up what he did.
I just didn't.
I knew that I either had toforgive him or this was never
going to even work as afriendship.
So we really never talked aboutit.
I just wanted I said I was justmaking sure you're okay and
still alive and we went on tojust like small talking, like
(17:22):
what you've been up to and stufflike that so.
But we did not address that'sfine.
Speaker 1 (17:31):
We did not address what was happening.
Speaker 2 (17:50):
So when did you stop abusing drugs steve?
Um, I'm gonna say what about2006?
At the end, about 2007, 205?
Speaker 1 (17:59):
yeah, okay, was it was it after the phone call?
Speaker 2 (18:03):
No, it was probably a month later, maybe yeah so
after I called, you yeah.
Speaker 3 (18:10):
Okay, all right.
We were talking time to timeand so I don't know what
triggered him to stop.
But we would talk about everyday or so Not big long
conversations initially, butjust checking on each other and
(18:33):
making sure that we were okay,was it after that?
Speaker 2 (18:39):
Yeah, it was kind of that decision, well I mean it's
time to be done.
Of that decision, well I meanit's time to be done, um, kind
of getting a little old and youknow being sick and just
fighting that all the time beingbroke constantly.
It was.
Speaker 1 (18:52):
I just just up in the blue, said I'm done yeah, I
never go back up yeah, so likewhen you're addicted, do you
have these voices in your head?
You feel like that are tellingyou, like trying to keep you
addicted, um I don't know.
Speaker 2 (19:12):
I don't know if I would say that.
I would say, um, it's just thatrush, um, you always want to
just continue that rush.
Yeah, um, me, it was always theupper, so I wanted to go, go,
go all the time.
It's how I am now, but it'sjust a cleaner version of it.
Speaker 1 (19:32):
Yeah, right Now, tonya.
I think it's interesting.
I just love what you told meabout forgiving Steve, how you
said if Jesus could forgive, yes.
Speaker 3 (19:48):
And I knew that early on and I think maybe, like I
said, we never really discussedit.
The longer we've been marriedwe might discuss it.
I might ask him a question,especially now with him dealing
with residents at the HopeCenter.
I might ask him, like how doesthat work or what do you think,
kind of like what you just did.
(20:10):
And so I knew and my parentswere very instrumental in
teaching me this that you haveto forgive people and I just
knew that in all that I've everdone and all my shortcomings in
life, if Jesus could forgive me,I could forgive him for this
and that's just what I've alwayskind of had my mindset in doing
(20:33):
so and I think I did okay.
I don't think I really everheld it over your head or
anything.
I knew I had to forgive andobviously you don't, Right.
I just knew that if I was goingto make a go of this
relationship, I had to be strongin saying that I'm going to
forgive him.
Speaker 1 (20:53):
Yeah so and.
I did.
That's wonderful, because whatdo we women do when we get in a
fight?
Yes, bring up the past.
Speaker 3 (21:02):
Yes, I don't ever remember holding that over his
head.
Again, it has to be a God thingbecause, like you said, women
are going to bring that up ifyou get into a fight or anything
.
And I just knew that.
I just couldn't do that.
It just wasn't, it wasn't meantfor us to do that.
(21:22):
We needed to forgive and moveon.
Speaker 1 (21:24):
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So, steve, you invited Tonya tomove back to North Carolina,
correct?
Speaker 2 (21:31):
I did.
I was in the process of buyinga house and I think I just
bought it and I said just listen, just move back up here.
I said this time this is myhouse, so you don't have to
worry about anything.
So yeah, we talked about it forI know we didn't talk about it
long and she said okay.
(21:54):
So I jumped in the pickup truckand drove to Georgia and picked
her up.
Speaker 1 (21:59):
Oh my God.
Well, what was your firstthought?
Tonya?
Again, I don't know.
I just I really didn't know him.
Speaker 3 (22:03):
Well, what was your first thought, tonya?
Again, I don't know.
I just I really didn't know him.
Again, if you think of thetimeline, we, you know together
for about a month.
In that month's time weprobably were together for about
two weeks, and then it wassporadic, and then, of course,
he did what he did, and then wedidn't talk for a very long time
(22:27):
and then I don't know, it'sjust like I said, it was just
something I was like okay, if Imean, what did I have to lose?
Yeah, and I feel I felt likethe Lord was answering my prayer
, and so I really didn't.
It wasn't even about justtrusting him.
I had had to trust the Lord tooand make sure, because every
(22:48):
time I prayed it was him who wasalways just brought up, or on
my mind or something related tohim.
So I guess I just stepped outliterally on a big step of faith
and just said, ok, let's do itokay, let's do it.
Speaker 1 (23:04):
One thing I want to know when God would put him on
your mind or on your heart,would you pray for him?
Speaker 3 (23:13):
Yeah, I was just genuinely worried about him.
I saw in two weeks that I wouldsay that he was a clean version
of him.
I saw a guy that I just thoughtwas really awesome, with the
big heart, a good father.
I just saw like everything thatI would want in a husband and
(23:37):
so, yeah, I would pray and just,you know, lord, be with him,
help him with this.
And at the time I didn't know,I hadn't spoken to him, so I
didn't know what he was doingwith his life.
So the only thing I know I canremember my dad telling me one
day because I think I opened upto my parents and said what was
(23:58):
going on and he said well, tanya, you just have to pray for him.
He said you don't have to tellhim that you're praying for him.
He said you don't talk behindpeople's backs, but you
certainly pray behind people'sbacks and you just have to let
them know.
And I'll never forget that.
And so that's just yeah.
And so I just kind of said,okay, that's what I'll do.
(24:20):
And that's when I just finally,after doing that for a while,
finally just said I'm going tocall.
But I'll never forget thatstatement, my dad told me he's
like don't talk behind people'sbacks, yes, but it's okay to
pray behind their backs.
Speaker 1 (24:40):
Yeah, so you move to North Carolina, move in with
Steve, and then what?
Speaker 3 (24:48):
And then I just said you know what, steve, if I'm
praying about this and I wantthis to be a godly relationship,
I said we got to get marriedand I said, and it's got to be
soon.
And so he was like, ok, so likewe took a Wednesday afternoon
off half day and went and gotmarried and then just went back
(25:08):
to work the next day.
We went to the courthouse so,and everybody thought I can
remember sitting at his mom'shouse for Thanksgiving and they
I remember hearing somebody sayis that Steve's girlfriend?
And his mom said no, his wifehis wife.
(25:29):
And I just remember thinking,okay, but I mean, it was just, I
guess, so sudden, so quick.
But I knew that I wanted to tobe with him.
So I ask him all the time didyou really know you wanted to be
with me?
And he always tells me yes, butI don't know that he did, or
(25:49):
just just I plead the faith,just not knowing each other that
well, I always question.
But he didn't hesitate to getmarried at all.
He was like okay, okay, oh.
Speaker 2 (26:09):
So how old were your boys at the time?
So my son was.
Speaker 3 (26:12):
Twelve, no, no, no, no, he's about ten.
Speaker 2 (26:14):
Okay, ten, and then the other one would have been
eight.
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1 (26:18):
Okay, and that went well too.
Speaker 2 (26:21):
Yeah, that transition .
You know, her and my daughter,the oldest daughter, they really
I think got along at first andthen she kind of hit her teenage
years and they kind of not gotalong.
But I think now they do.
But yeah, and of course my son,he loved her to death so but no
(26:47):
, that wasn't.
Speaker 3 (26:48):
It wasn't difficult to.
I wouldn't say we.
I guess we blended a familywith not with children initially
, but just marrying him and thekids coming was not not a
difficult thing at all.
Speaker 1 (27:04):
Yeah, so you guys were married for a year before
you decided to try for your ownchildren?
Yeah, and.
Speaker 3 (27:14):
I did that because I mean I was obviously I was 30 at
that or pushing 30.
And you know, in my I, my clockis ticking.
So I didn't.
I mean, ideally I guess weshould have waited maybe a
little bit longer, but I'm gladwe didn't, because then we would
(27:34):
have the situations that we ranthrough, health wise, maybe
would have been too late and soyeah.
So I thought, well, it's a year, let's start to try and see
what happens.
Speaker 1 (27:46):
Yeah, yeah, I was 32 when I had mine.
Speaker 3 (27:49):
Yeah, I mean I was 31 and 32 ultimately.
Speaker 1 (27:54):
Yeah.
That was old.
And you're like me.
You're the older parent Aroundthe kids.
My son will be 30 this year andour baby like me.
Speaker 3 (28:01):
You're the older parent Around the kids.
Your son will be 30 this yearand our baby is 17.
So you know it was just.
But I honestly didn't eventhink I ever wanted children.
But when I saw him with hiskids and I was like I I, he's
the fantastic father, so I knewthat I needed, we needed, to
(28:24):
have at least one more child.
He, although, was finished,he'll tell you he was fine with
not having any more children.
That is a true statement.
I don't know exactly how hefelt.
Speaker 2 (28:40):
Glad it didn't work out that way, but that wasn't
your statement.
Speaker 3 (28:43):
Yes, he was like I'm fine with what I have.
Tanya, I'm like, well, I don'thave any, I don't have any, I
want a baby, exactly Exactly Now.
Speaker 1 (28:54):
Getting there was the hard part.
Can you explain what you guyswent through?
Speaker 3 (29:06):
what you guys went through.
Well, initially we wereobviously trying to have a baby.
A year has went by, nothing hastranspired.
So I worked with a greatChristian doctor and he set me
up let's go to fertility, let'sdo all this stuff and figure out
what's going on.
So I went and it was a localfertility doctor.
(29:29):
It was, and we just startedwith like tests and there was a
history side Peniogram, I thinkis what you call it.
There's an abbreviation theyuse, but it's basically where
they put dye into your fallopiantubes.
Well, I had two failed ones andthat was painful.
And after it was failed he justsaid I don't know what to tell
(29:55):
you and in terms of fertility,until we go in to see what's
going on inside.
So that's when we started toplan just a surgery to see if I
had.
He was thinking endometriosis.
He was thinking several thingsbut he said I really can't
speculate until I can see what'sgoing on.
(30:17):
And in the meantime the greatChristian doctor had a patient
or a friend that he knew and shewas pregnant and wasn't really
sure what to do.
She was not married, she knewthat, she was not in a place to
keep a baby, she wasn't terriblyyoung, but she just knew this
(30:41):
was not a good decision.
So she told the doctor that ifhe could find a good Christian
family she would potentiallythink about adoption.
And so I was like, wow, that'sgreat.
And it went on and on and onand we never heard anything.
(31:02):
So we were real excited and Itold Steve, and then we didn't
hear anything for months, notuntil about right before she was
due.
And then she called me, or hecalled me and said she's willing
to give the baby up foradoption.
And that is we had how much?
A month, maybe six weeks.
Speaker 2 (31:24):
We did everything in three weeks.
Speaker 1 (31:26):
Yeah, that's what I was going to ask was how long
did y'all had to prepare?
Speaker 3 (31:30):
And it usually takes a lot longer than that.
But the doctor that I workedfor, he and his wife had five
biological children and they hadadopted six, so they were like
experts in it and so Wait, holdon.
Speaker 1 (31:47):
They had five biological, and then they
adopted six children.
Speaker 3 (31:52):
Six children, so they knew a thing or two about
adoption.
Yeah, and honestly I didn'treally.
We didn't have to do anythingbut just call.
When his wife told us you needto call this lawyer, Call for
this.
I'm so sorry.
Speaker 1 (32:14):
Puppy, can you explain what's going on with the
dog?
Speaker 3 (32:17):
We have a little puppy, I think she's about what
is she?
16, 17 weeks old now and shewas napping and so calm and I
was like, oh, this will be great, We'll do the podcast and
she'll be chill.
And now the puppy has just comeout in her.
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (32:35):
So when you hear like little dog barks throughout the
episode, that's their littlegolden doodle.
Yeah, little squeak toysepisode.
Speaker 3 (32:44):
That's their little golden doodle yeah, little
squeak toys, and her name ishope so.
But she has all of a suddenjust come to life like but we
love dogs in this podcast I'm soglad because she is definitely
um, you know, she keeps comingup here trying to get in our
laps and what's going on.
Yeah, so that's what's going onif you hear squeaky toys, barks
(33:08):
or just craziness.
Speaker 1 (33:10):
Yes, All right, so you get hooked up with the
lawyer and the social workersand before we knew it, she came
a couple weeks early.
Speaker 3 (33:24):
three weeks early, so within like three weeks, so
within a month that we got thephone call that she was born and
we needed to come pick her upfrom the hospital yeah yeah yeah
, it just happened so quickly.
We did not even have clothingbecause you know we were
anticipating other two or threeweeks, a minimum.
Speaker 1 (33:46):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (33:47):
Yep, and so we had to rush to go and get stuff that
we needed.
We picked up a car seat on theway to the hospital, yes, and of
course we bought all pinkcolored stuff because, you know,
basically I was told that Iprobably, for whatever reason,
would never have a babynaturally.
(34:08):
So I was like, well, we'll justbuy everything pink and that's
what we did, that's what we did.
Yeah.
And then, obviously, when wegot her and we brought her home,
we had a small little threebedroom house and you've heard
the age ranges.
I didn't want to put a newbornin the bedroom with an eight or
(34:31):
nine-year-old.
I just didn't think that wasfair for her to have to share a
room with a baby.
So we started to say, hey, weprobably need to buy a little
bigger house and start lookingfor a bigger house.
And we were in Hickory and Ijust felt just miserable I know
I was short with him and it wasnot what I wanted to be and I
(34:54):
remember him looking at me andsaying I think you're pregnant,
or maybe he even said you'repregnant and I was like, come on
, no, no way.
And so, yep, we had athree-month-old and I found out
that I was pregnant.
Speaker 1 (35:11):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (35:13):
Actually I was far along.
I was not like just a couple ofweeks.
I was probably close to nine,10 weeks pregnant.
Speaker 2 (35:23):
Oh my gosh.
Yes, and I think it wasactually came out as we were
looking for a bigger threebedroom house to oh great, now
we got to look for a fourbedroom house, yep, so it was
just.
Speaker 3 (35:39):
It was just so surreal and I just remember
having those two little.
We were all to talk at thedoctor's office because we came
in there for our visit with thethree-month-old baby, and they
were all because they knew thatI was in there not too long ago
for fertility issues.
And then here I am with apositive test and a newborn
(36:02):
basically still, orthree-month-old basically.
So what's their age difference.
They are 10 weeks, 10 monthsand three weeks apart.
We usually just say 11 months,but they are the same age for
five weeks.
Speaker 1 (36:15):
Same age for five weeks.
Speaker 3 (36:17):
For five weeks yep, and it's so funny because people
will say, say, are they twins?
When they were little?
I'm like no, especially if itwas during that five week period
.
They would say, um, so how oldare they?
And I might say, oh well, she'sfive.
And how old is she?
She's five.
And they were like, wait aminute, he's gonna step away for
(36:38):
just a second.
Um, he's got an urgent phonecall, but I'll keep talking with
you and okay, all right so wecan come back to it.
Speaker 1 (36:48):
So you were telling me that you guys did not go to
church during this time, did not?
Speaker 3 (36:54):
no, he um.
I was raised in the church andum, so I never knew not having
you know the Bible, the Lordpart of our life.
But he was not.
He had not um been.
He went to church.
Obviously it was usually likethose Christmas Eve, easter
(37:14):
services on, when most peoplewould come, but he um had never
been.
And to me it was very importantthat if we were having children
, I wanted them to be in achurch, and so I said I'm going
to go whether you go or not, butI would like for you to go, and
that's kind of where I left it,that's where we were, and so
(37:37):
the children shall lead you back.
Yes, indeed, and so I startedlooking around, particularly for
children's ministries, becauseI wanted for not only his older
kids but for our kids to makesure that they had children and
youth ministry in there.
And so he at first didn't actlike he really wanted to go.
(38:00):
So I was raised in aPentecostal church.
If you've not been in aPentecostal church then that's
probably not going to be yourfirst choice to go.
It's a shock, yeah, but it'swhat I knew, it's what I felt
comfortable with, and I feltlike, if I was going to have to
(38:21):
go to church by myself, I wantto go to a church that I'm
familiar with and comfortablewith.
So I found one in Maiden, soLiving Word Church, and I never
went by myself.
The first time I said let's go,we went, and we went every time
after that and that was I don'tknow a couple.
A couple times we went and youknow he just sat and went kind
(38:43):
of through the motions and I canremember sitting.
One day and for whatever reason, he went down to the altar and
I didn't know what was going on.
I kind of let him.
I didn't want to push him,obviously, because if there's
somebody who's not Christian.
You don't want to beoverwhelming, you don't want to
push them.
And I just remember him goingup there, the preacher praying
(39:04):
with him, and as he was walkingback, that's when the pastor
announced welcome, our newbrother in Christ, steve.
So he had gotten saved andnothing.
It wasn't anything about metelling him to go down there, it
was all on him.
And so ever since then we'vewent to church at the same
church and he got baptized.
(39:26):
It wasn't long after, not longafter he got saved, that he got
baptized.
And then we've just been to thesame church ever since.
Speaker 1 (39:39):
Yeah, yeah, okay.
So, steve, you didn't talkabout any of this to Tonya
before.
Speaker 2 (39:46):
No, it was kind of um out of the blue, you know it.
Just it was weighing on myheart.
Um, you know, we, we didn't goto church a whole lot, except
for maybe a Christmas serviceand that's it, and I don't know
it.
Just something told me it'stime and you need to go up there
and I did, and literally it wasthe best decision I ever made.
Speaker 1 (40:07):
Yeah, yeah.
So what did you think when youfirst stepped into a Pentecostal
church?
Speaker 2 (40:13):
Honestly, I was scared going in.
I was more scared going out.
It was shocking.
Speaker 1 (40:25):
Yeah, definitely a shocking experience.
Speaker 3 (40:27):
And it didn't help that one of the churchgoers he
didn't do it on the first day,but like after we had went a
couple of times he said well,now that you've been here a
couple of times, I think it'sprobably okay for us to bring
out the snakes packet of gummyworms.
Oh, that's funny and I thinkthat kind of relaxed yeah yeah,
(40:51):
exactly, yeah exactly it'sdefinitely um different.
It's an emotional church.
It um, but I like that.
I love it.
Speaker 1 (41:03):
Feeling the emotion.
Speaker 3 (41:04):
And that's when I told him that you know, just go
with me, I don't think you'll be, you know, disappointed, and I
honestly have never invitedsomebody who's not been
disappointed, Definitely, maybea little taken back by some
things, but um, he never oncesaid Tonya, I don't want to go
to that church, or.
I don't want to go back there.
It was once we started going.
(41:26):
That's the only place we'veever been.
Speaker 2 (41:28):
Yeah, it's definitely not a church you're going to
fall asleep at.
Speaker 3 (41:30):
That's for sure.
It's perfect.
Speaker 1 (41:36):
So, Steve, how do you compare trying to fight your
addiction before giving yourlife to Christ versus after
giving your life to Christ?
Speaker 2 (41:47):
Um, I think after you , kind of after you give your
life, you have meaning behindwhat your decisions are.
Um, you know, everything thatwe do now is for his glory and
not for our glory.
So it's not that addictionwhere it was, everything was for
me, me, me, me, me.
Now it's what can I do to showGod's glory to everybody else?
(42:10):
And that's what we try to liveby every day.
Speaker 3 (42:16):
And I definitely saw an instant change in him Once he
got saved.
It's just for the positive.
Obviously it was just adifferent.
Steve was already really good,but then when he got saved he
was like great, it was just awonderful guy to have around.
Speaker 1 (42:42):
Tell us about the missionary and the calling that
you felt.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
If I remember correctly, it was probably so.
We were pre-warned about themissionary that was coming and
it was shocking, I mean just theway he spoke and kind of what
he put out.
I think he was from, I can'tremember, I think he was serving
(43:09):
in like Spain.
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (43:11):
So in Spain, is where he was when he came to visit,
and he's one of the missionariesthat our church supports.
Speaker 1 (43:19):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (43:20):
Yeah, so it was just kind of that, you know and this
has only happened probably acouple of times that it's like
when somebody speaks and wealways say it's God talking to
you, is it feels like it's adirect communications, like
literally sitting right in frontof you and it is who he is
talking to, and it was kind ofone of those things.
(43:41):
Well, of course, you know, I'mnot, we were Christians and
thing, but still was not likefully in church, you know.
Speaker 3 (43:53):
But hadn't experienced that.
He was still a very youngChristian.
Speaker 2 (43:57):
Yes, who wouldn't?
Speaker 3 (43:58):
experience this.
Speaker 2 (43:59):
And that was probably really the first experience
with the Holy Spirit justtalking to me and course I
didn't say anything because I'mlike, oh, this is no, this ain't
right.
We got a caller and I don'tknow.
It was one of those, tony, Ithink he was talking to us.
Speaker 3 (44:14):
I said I agree, because I felt it too.
It was like, wow, it wasdefinitely the Holy Spirit
saying he's talking about youguys.
You guys are the ones that aregoing to be the missionaries in
this church right now.
So we were like, well, what dowe do?
Speaker 2 (44:33):
now we were excited.
We're like where are we going,when are we going?
Speaker 1 (44:36):
Exactly yeah, because when you think missionary, you
think going to another continent, another country.
Speaker 3 (44:43):
Indeed.
So I was like, well, the kidsare at a good age for this.
They were still earlyelementary.
I was like this will be okay.
And so we talked to the pastorand his wife and kind of told us
what we needed to do to kind ofprepare for this.
But then, I think, you startedtaking classes, I did, he
(45:04):
started taking classes throughour conference.
They're based just outside ofGreensboro.
And then, like you said earlier, life just happened.
We got busy, we obviously knewabout this, but life just
happened with two young kidsgoing back to school, myself to
(45:28):
go to become a teacher, and wejust never really thought really
.
I mean, it was always in theback of our mind but we never
really said anything more aboutit, thing more about it.
And so that's kind of where wewere.
We knew that we had thiscalling, but we didn't know when
(45:49):
or where we would do this andthat kind of led to the Hope
Center.
Speaker 2 (45:54):
It did.
Speaker 3 (45:55):
Yes, so how long has it been?
Three years ago, Three years.
Three years ago, the churchmentioned that they wanted to
sponsor a hope center in Maidenor because it's right there on
the Catawba-Lincoln line iswhere our church is, right there
outside of Maiden, and theywere looking to place one either
(46:15):
in Maiden area or in LincolnCounty or Lincolnton area,
lincoln County or Lincoln, um,uh, lincolnton area.
So as soon as and we had neverheard of this, but as soon as
they started talking andstarting the fundraising
component of it, um, we, uh,steve, like, I think in the
middle of church, did you nottext the preacher or pastor?
(46:37):
I didn't.
On that one I didn't, but wedefinitely our ears perked up
and I think it has something todo with how and he brought it
into the sermon about how peopleare going to treat.
We're going to have an exampleof how God is, how we are to
love people and treat people inthe next couple of years when
(47:00):
the Hope Center is open.
And so that immediately is, youknow, obviously passionate.
We're both passionate aboutthat, and so that's when we both
knew, gosh, this is a greatopportunity and we didn't really
think about it for us at thetime, we were just excited that
the church was going to do this?
Speaker 1 (47:20):
Did your church know anything about your past at all?
Speaker 2 (47:24):
Some of them did.
You know, it's kind of one ofthose you don't want to be
judged, so you have to keep itto yourself.
Our pastor knew and ourassociate pastor knew.
I did give my testimony to ouryouth a couple of years before
that, so they knew.
(47:44):
But you know the church-wise,they did not and I honestly,
until I just made that Facebookpost, I think a lot of them had
no clue either.
Speaker 1 (47:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (47:55):
Because it's just not something that's kind of we try
to bring it up in conversations.
Speaker 1 (48:00):
Oh, I know I was going to say say you were so
brave to put that out there likeyou did and to be able to be
willing to come on here and letit be broadcast yeah, it's been
a roller coaster here in thelast last little bit I'm sure it
has good stuff.
Yeah, yep.
(48:21):
So how did you um get involvedwith the Hope Center?
How did all that work out?
Well it's funny.
Speaker 2 (48:30):
After they got approved to be a sponsor in
church they were in the processof trying to find a house to do
it in.
Our pastor says you know, he'spreaching.
And when he got done he saidyou know, hey, listen, we've got
(48:51):
everything approved.
The Hope Center is looking fora director and a recovery pastor
for the House of Maiden.
And it was again that holyspirit talking to me.
And that's the time thatliterally I was texting him
during service saying I'm inlike what do I need to do?
um, and it's funny.
And then, kind of he, he textedme back and said, hey, go in
(49:15):
here and do an application.
So I actually pulled it up andstopped and I said, tanyaanya,
I'm not going to get this.
This is kind of I'm not this,this job's not for me.
And so she told me to call him,and actually called our pastor
and talked to him and he waslike listen, you can't live in
(49:37):
doubt.
He said this is your calling,you need to do this.
And we did, did, and it was a.
It was a very long process, umit it literally went for about a
year, um, through multipleinterviews, um, and then finally
getting the word saying you gotthe job, but we can't hire you.
Speaker 3 (50:00):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (50:02):
Um, because we still had zoning stuff we had to go
through, um, they still had towait on closing the house.
So it was.
Speaker 3 (50:12):
It was almost out, close to a year, it was almost a
year and I remember him umtexting me and say I got the job
, and I think my response waspraise the Lord or something.
And then he responds back withbut I can't be hired right now.
So, and I understood I meanit's a nonprofit organization,
obviously, so they're in theprocess of trying to finalize
(50:36):
the house.
They're in the process ofgetting all cause.
There's a lot and they also hadto rezone it, which took a
little bit.
There was not a lot of people, Idon't think, understood what
the purpose of the house was inMaiden, and so there was a lot
of people against it and theremay be one or two people still
against it.
But I think, overwhelmingly,when the church showed up to the
(51:00):
zoning meeting or to thecouncil meeting, birch showed up
to the zoning meeting or to thecouncil meeting, it was amazing
how they said I didn't gobecause I didn't want to be like
a protective wife and kind ofget upset.
But Steve said you tell, likehow, like what was the
atmosphere there.
Speaker 2 (51:17):
You have to get zoning approved and then you
have to do an open forum for thecommunity with everybody around
the house and then once thatgets approved through the
council, then it goes to thezoning board, then it goes to
city council for their approval.
Well, of course, city councilis they bring everybody in from
(51:42):
the town of Maiden and I'll behonest with you, it was about
80-20, 80 in support and 20 justwanted nothing to do with it,
including a pastor.
Believe it or not, a pastorlives close to it and said I
think this is a great idea, thetown of Maiden absolutely needs
(52:03):
this, but it's too close towhere.
And said I think this is agreat idea.
We, the town of Maiden,absolutely needs this, but it's
too close to where I live.
Speaker 1 (52:07):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (52:08):
And, um, there was a police officer there and she was
, you know, completely againstit, but I will say the town of
Maiden, their board, it was aunanimous, a unanimous decision
to approve it.
So it was unbelievable.
Speaker 3 (52:26):
Yeah, I think people like you know, just sharing his
testimony, like people didn'tknow what he's been through, and
I don't think people realizehow many people in life have
been affected by drug addictionor alcohol addiction.
They don't realize that andthat's what you, I think, said
(52:49):
overwhelmingly.
Everybody in support was likeI've dealt with this with a
family member, I had a friendpass away and it was just
overwhelming to how much theysaid this is definitely needed
and so, yeah, so it was approved.
It was.
And we thought, okay, we'regoing to get a, he's going to
get a paycheck now, because, oh,we didn't.
(53:11):
He lost his job in February andwe were like it's okay, You're
going to get this job.
And I don't think he finallywas actually hired on until
April, mid-April.
Speaker 2 (53:23):
Mid-April.
Speaker 3 (53:24):
Mid-April.
So we went from the first ofApril to mid-April and I again
was not upset or worried becauseI knew he had a job and I knew
that the Lord would take care ofus when you're obedient and you
pay your tithes.
And it was I'm not going to sayit was the easiest we didn't
(53:46):
get to live our, but we didnothing, we didn't go without.
We did not went extra we cutback a lot.
Speaker 2 (53:55):
We weren't going to let it affect especially our
kids and stuff like that.
You know we didn't eat outquite as much.
Probably didn't eat filet,instead we just had a ribeye or
nothing else.
Speaker 1 (54:10):
We had chopped sirloin yeah.
Speaker 3 (54:13):
We had a hamburger, but yeah, I mean it was
definitely something that wenever.
Every bill was paid, everythingwas taken care of, but we did.
We did feel I personally feltbad because I said that we would
take Paige on a senior trip.
And I don't think I think sheknew because I mean, we
(54:41):
obviously had the money to live,but we did not have the money
to take her on a cruise orsomething like that.
But I felt like she understood,I didn't, and I thought it was
very mature of her to do that,and so that was the one thing
that if I was upset aboutanything is that I said I would
take her on a senior trip.
You know that the whole familyor her friend or somebody could
(55:01):
go with, and we didn't get to dothat.
But she didn't ever sayanything about it.
And I think she understandsthat what we were doing was
something for the Lord and thatI will definitely take her on a
senior trip some other time, butright then it just wasn't going
to happen.
Speaker 1 (55:20):
Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2 (55:23):
And we finally did get the house purchased, um, and
then it still came in.
I don't even know why we Iguess we had to wait for Catawba
County to kind of give us ofhow many guys we can have
actually in the house.
So I spent two months there,every day.
(55:43):
We painted the whole house fromtop to bottom.
It was a huge task.
My parents were actually my momwas there almost every day with
me painting and my dad whenhe's not playing golf, of course
, he was over there helped pay.
So it it kept, of course, mymind um off of waiting for that
(56:06):
job, because it was always okay,it's gonna be the first of next
month or it's gonna be in twoweeks, but they just couldn't
say for definite because we, wewere just in that waiting period
, um for everything to comethrough.
So we actually may May 5th, weopened the doors.
We actually got our firstresidence in on May the 4th,
(56:29):
which we kind of weren'tsupposed to do, but we did.
They didn't, the guy didn'tstay in the house, but he was
our first resident.
Speaker 1 (56:40):
He stayed with the admissions coordinator in the
area.
Speaker 3 (56:45):
Oh, okay, Technically the first resident with a day
early, but then everybody elsecame on.
Speaker 2 (56:54):
the fifth which was our open house, which is so
funny because it was our churchopen house.
So we actually had residentscoming in from other centers
that were what we call our seedresidents.
So they were our first ones.
They had already been anywherefrom 30 to 45 days in the
(57:15):
program, so they were coming inalready knowing how it's
supposed to run and that way itkind of got us used to them and
got our house in order.
Yeah, which is a big part ofwhat the Hope Center is is
having that structure in place.
Speaker 1 (57:32):
Yeah, so can you just tell us, just describe to us,
what the Hope Center is and kindof the schedule, what these
guys go through from day to day?
Speaker 2 (57:44):
So our day starts off .
At 4.45 in the morning is theirwake-up time.
They have roll call at 4.55.
So roll call, everybody has tobe there.
Speaker 1 (58:00):
Oh, that's an early morning start.
Speaker 2 (58:05):
So they eat breakfast at 5.00 AM.
They eat together.
So our house is we, our house,we are a family, so we all eat
together every meal, um, andthen so they get done eating,
they do their chores, um, theydo their dishes and everything
clean up.
Then we go into praise andworship.
(58:26):
Every morning they usually dothree or four songs of praise
and worship, Then they go intotheir chores.
So our guys that are at thehouse right now we have probably
six that are in the house fulltime the other ones go to work.
Well, they go to do vocationaltraining.
(58:48):
So the other ones do all theirchores.
They clean the house from topto bottom Every single day mop,
they clean the whole house.
After that they do their bookwork.
So their book work would beBible studies, book work.
(59:08):
So their book work would beBible studies, stuff like that.
12 o'clock they eat lunch, oneo'clock they go into what we
call their soaps and all that isis their, their counseling,
with our recovery pastor doingall that till about three
o'clock.
At three o'clock we kind oftend to lighten up a little bit.
The guys get home, we eatdinner at five.
(59:30):
The ones that are in training,um, on Mondays they go to
celebrate recovery every Monday.
Um Tuesdays is pretty much thesame, but after three o'clock
they have a free day.
Um Wednesday nights they go tochurch.
Thursday nights are free night.
(59:50):
Friday night we do familysupport.
So you know we can, thefamilies can come in.
They do.
You know, just talk aboutbringing the families back
together what we can do, andthen, if they can't we do, we do
it on Zoom so all the familiescan log in when they get done.
The residents can have kind oflike a one-on-one time with them
(01:00:14):
, their family, which is reallynice for them.
Especially we have some thatyou know are from.
We have a guy from Hawaii, soof course he doesn't have any
contact with his family.
So that was his only time, soof course he doesn't have any
contact with his family.
So that was his only time.
And then Saturday morning wehave house church every Saturday
morning and then, of course,church on Sunday.
(01:00:38):
You know our house runs inphases.
So our first 30 days is what wecall our first phase.
First phase they don't leavethe house unless it's for
Celebrate, recovery church or ifwe're doing community service.
Either or not, they're thereall the time.
Our second phasers are afterthat 30 days.
(01:01:00):
We try to find them vocationaltraining.
So they go out, they work a 40hour work week, um, and then
they have the option of if theydon't get in any trouble, they
follow all the rules.
Then they can actually go on asunday pass as long as the
family comes to church.
So the only way they can goanywhere that we have to see
(01:01:23):
their family, um, their familyhas to go through a class saying
you know, this is our rules andstuff, that you have to abide
by these rules if you want themto go.
So they do that.
They usually leave right afterchurch and then come back by
five o'clock.
And then our third phase is kindof it lightens up.
They can actually get their ownjobs, jobs, they get their own
(01:01:48):
paychecks, they get, you know,they can have a car, they can
have a cell phone, um, and theirrules would be they just have
to be in an hour before curfew,um, and then they're still under
the same rules, as they stillhave to buy, buy random drug,
drug tests, and that all thetime.
And we do our random drug tests, we try to do them.
(01:02:12):
We have to do them within 30days.
I don't really like to go 30days, I don't like people to
know when we're going to do it,because our job is to keep these
guys clean and help them withtheir sobriety.
So I tend to mix ours up.
So you know, some people mighthave one one day and two days
later I might give them anotherone.
Speaker 1 (01:02:31):
Just because I don't want them to.
Well, what would happen if theydid test positive?
So if somebody snuck some in?
Speaker 2 (01:02:38):
So if they test positive, they are automatically
removed from the program.
So we and when we say that they, we do not allow them to walk
off our property we physicallyput them in a car and we take
them either back to their familyor even a homeless shelter or
(01:03:02):
something like that.
But yeah, we've never, we don'tlet anybody walk off our
property.
Speaker 3 (01:03:06):
I think that was a big concern with the citizens
that were.
Speaker 1 (01:03:10):
That's understandable , yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:03:12):
And I get that as a mother.
I understand that, but I thinkthat's really good.
They never can leave bythemselves, obviously.
So if there is an issue, oreven if one I think he's had one
that just said I can't do thisand it's not a matter of OK, see
, they took them, I think,somewhere in Caldwell County.
(01:03:34):
I mean they, they took themthere and dropped them off, and
and that was volunteer,voluntarily.
Speaker 2 (01:03:40):
Yeah, he just voluntarily.
Speaker 3 (01:03:41):
Yeah.
He was like I just don't thinkthis is for me.
Speaker 1 (01:03:44):
Yeah.
So how does?
How do they even get into yourprogram?
Speaker 2 (01:03:48):
So they have to go through an application process
and then once our admissionsteam gets their application,
then they go in and do aninterview of them and you know,
applications could be whilethey're incarcerated it could be
somebody off the streets justtrying to find a place to get
clean.
So once they get through thatpart of the interview, then our
(01:04:15):
program costs $700.
It's a one-year program, whichis unbelievable.
That that's all they charge forsomebody to come in for a year.
It is yeah, and the funny partis if they complete the program
they get their $700 back.
So they literally can come infor free.
(01:04:37):
And of course we don't turnanybody away.
We have scholarships andsponsorships that could help
people out.
But yeah, they come to us, weget to interview them when they
get to the house and if we feelthat they're going to be a good
fit for our house, then we willaccept them into the program.
Speaker 3 (01:05:00):
And, I think, can you send them to other locations if
you're either full and we havelocations around us.
Speaker 2 (01:05:08):
We have some in mount airy galax, virginia, roanoke,
virginia um dunn, north carolinaand goldsboro north carolina so
we have enough around us thatwe can pack them up in a car and
drive them you know, two hoursto another center yeah,
especially if you have residentsnot getting along.
(01:05:28):
And we've had one.
We've had one that just wasn't.
He was there for about 30 days.
It just wasn't a good fit forhim and we ended up moving him
to another center and now he isjust excelling in the program
and he's one of the leaders inthat house.
So it's just sometimes you'vegot personalities that just
don't go well together.
Speaker 1 (01:05:51):
Right, they don't click.
Yeah, yeah, we understand thatteaching middle school, don't we
Tonya?
Speaker 3 (01:05:57):
And as educators, I think that's what I love about
the program is they are, firstand foremost, they're teaching
you about Jesus, and then theyare teaching you how to restore
your relationships with yourfamilies and friends, and then
they're teaching you how to geta job and to keep a job, and
(01:06:20):
then they are teaching you howto become responsible with your
money and be a good steward withthat money.
And I think that's the neatestthing is that it's not just
we're going to get you clean fora year and then you're on your
way.
And then you're on your own.
They do give you, I feel, theskills necessary to remain sober
(01:06:45):
, and that's what I like aboutit is that they are teaching you
these things, and I love to seethe transformation of just the
ones that are.
You just see them with the lovethat they have for the Lord and
how they come in just defeated.
And now, after they've beenthere a couple of months, you
can see that they are, you know,worshiping in church, which
(01:07:09):
we've never seen.
You know, like you know, duringpraise and worship they might
even be singing is a big deal.
But then, when you raise yourhand and worship the Lord, we're
like wow, this is an amazingtransformation that we get to
witness, and not only us butalso all of the other church
members are seeing this happenright before our eyes, and I
(01:07:29):
think that's what's the neatestthing about it is that it is
just all done and we just giveall the glory to God, because it
doesn't matter if Steve wasthere, or the recovery pastor,
or our church pastor.
This is with their help.
The Lord is just transformingthese people's lives, and I just
think that's the neatest thing.
Speaker 2 (01:07:51):
And we run our house.
Our house is very structured.
It is your bed's made.
Every day.
It is very strict rules because, being an addict, your whole
life you haven't followed rulesand you've made your own rules
and we're teaching you how tofollow the rules and know and
(01:08:12):
when you leave this program, youknow exactly what you should be
doing and not just doingwhatever you want to do because,
honestly, we had a residenthere lately that he just he
wanted to do whatever he wantedto do and we had the
conversation listen, that's whatgot you in this spot you're in
now.
You want to do it your way.
So let's do it God's way andlet's do it.
(01:08:34):
You know the way, the way we'resupposed to do it, and he's
another one, he's just excelledfrom it.
But yeah, they just you got toget that mindset out of doing
everything your way.
Speaker 1 (01:08:46):
Your way.
Speaker 2 (01:08:47):
You have to do it God's way, because your way is
not right.
Speaker 1 (01:08:51):
Your way is what got you into this.
Speaker 3 (01:08:54):
Clearly something wasn't working there, so let's
try.
And in my thought process, whatdo you have to lose?
I mean the ones that were not,you know, Christian.
I think there's been a coupleof salvations, and right, there
is a win in itself If you've had.
(01:09:15):
I don't know how many peoplesaved just in the short few
months.
That's worth it, right, becausethat is ultimately what we're
called to do is bring people toChrist, and so that is just.
It's so neat, when there is one, that that in baptisms they had
a baptism service.
Speaker 2 (01:09:32):
We had six residents out of our first.
I think we were at 12.
Speaker 3 (01:09:36):
Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:09:36):
So half of our residents got baptized on the
same day and that wasunbelievable.
Speaker 1 (01:09:42):
That's wonderful.
Speaker 3 (01:09:43):
Yeah, it was so exciting, Especially when you're
going to stand up and proclaimhey, I'm a Christian, I'm going
to follow Christ, and especiallyjust thinking, you know, just
even two months ago, what werethey doing with their lives, and
now they're like to me, likeSteve, it's the greatest thing
ever to give your life to Christand to just give everything to
(01:10:04):
Him and don't worry about it andstuff.
So I'm so proud of those guys.
I'm so proud of them and I thinkthat is.
What's really neat is that weget to do this ministry together
.
So I'm there, whether it'shelping them learn how to cook
with a larger portion size.
(01:10:24):
Or I think we patched up aguy's pants.
He was going to throw them awayand my daughter and I were like
, don't throw those away, we cansew them up or put a patch in
it.
And he was like, oh okay, also,if they need like allergy
medicine, I kind of am oldenough to be most of their moms
it's about 50-50.
(01:10:45):
And so they come to me like Ineed some allergy medicine.
I just feel so bad.
And Steve was like you'll befine and I'm like I'll get you
some allergy medicine.
Speaker 1 (01:10:54):
Mama Tanya yeah, that's what they call me Mama
Tanya.
Speaker 3 (01:10:59):
I think that's what's so neat about it is we get to
do the ministry together, ourgirls obviously Paige is off at
school now, but they have spentseveral days and just any
opportunity that we have to bethere with the guys they go and
you think about it.
I mean they've given up theirlife for a year and some of them
(01:11:21):
see a family member regularlythat comes to church and some of
them I've not seen any familycome and I don't know if it's a
distance thing or if it's amoney thing or if it's maybe
their family isn't healed fromthe hurt.
It's just, and I am a firmbeliever that they will come
(01:11:41):
around.
But and that's when we say okay, that's why our family's there.
So we're kind of their littleadopted sisters and I'm the mom
of the house and Steve's parentsare there all the time and they
call her in, because we allknow what it feels like.
We've all been either affectedby it in Steve's case, an actual
(01:12:12):
addict or us, as loved ones,have been.
You know, we've experienced it.
So I think it's exciting.
Speaker 1 (01:12:19):
Yeah, I think so.
So how do you support theseguys once they graduate the
program?
Speaker 2 (01:12:27):
well, that's the hard part.
Um, you know, the hardest thingwith with them is is not not
trying to let them go back towhere they came from.
Um, we are, we are big on, hey,let's keep you around here, but
you know, and a lot of timesthat's just they're just going
(01:12:49):
to go back home.
Yeah, so on the side that weare trying to figure out a way
to do a graduation house, somaybe do a house that we can the
graduates come in and it givesthem maybe another year to to
(01:13:09):
live in a house, share it withother graduates, kind of keeps,
kind of balancing your money.
Have an accountability partnerthere with you, but then
following the same drug testrules and all that, but it gives
them a space of their own thatthey have to.
They'll pay rent on and theyhave to keep it up, but that way
(01:13:31):
we can keep a close eye on themand we can also be there if
they need us.
Yeah, but yeah the hardestthing is just you see a lot of
people just relapse them becausethey go back home.
Speaker 1 (01:13:47):
Right, right yeah.
Where it started and those badinfluences.
And yeah, I'm sorry, go aheadTonya.
Speaker 3 (01:13:58):
The hope is, with their vocational training, which
eventually becomes their job,obviously that they are able to
financially support themselvesif they choose to live around
here, and that's why weobviously rent is not cheap
anymore, I mean, it's insane.
So that is what I think we'rekind of praying for now is to
(01:14:19):
maybe have this home eventually,so that they don't feel the
need to go home right away, sothat they can, you know,
hopefully be proud of themselvesand the progress they've made
and then, if they do want to gohome eventually, they have a
little bit more time in betweenwhat they've done previously.
Speaker 1 (01:14:38):
Yeah, you mentioned a guy from Hawaii, so I guess
y'all have guys from all walksof life.
Speaker 2 (01:14:46):
So I guess y'all have guys from all walks of life, we
do.
The guy from Hawaii actuallywas a D1 football player.
Ended up going.
He hurt his shoulder.
Was supposed to go in thesecond round of the NFL draft.
Ended up falling out of thedraft because he had injury to
his shoulder.
(01:15:09):
Ended up being on the practicesquad for a year and a half, had
to let him go and then that'swhen he fell into his addiction
of alcohol, but he actuallycompleted the program in Hawaii,
so we have a campus there,ended up relapsing and kind of
(01:15:32):
said I want to go back and ouradmissions guy from north
carolina was actually in hawaiitrying to help out up there and
said, hey, listen, you want toget clean, get on a plane, let's
go.
And they flew and he was.
He was here for a couple ofdays and then he was in our
center.
He was actually our firstresident, yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:15:50):
And then come like usually they're around this area
but it could be anywhere in theUnited States that they need
help and I think I have a lot ofrespect for the guys who may be
from this area, but no, this isnot the house for them.
So they'll say I want to be apart of this program, but is
(01:16:12):
there one that you can takebecause I just cannot be around
this area?
So I think that happenedrecently.
You took one.
It was to Virginia.
He said I want to be in theprogram but I don't know that
being this close to home is thisclose.
So he had enough sense to say Ineed to go elsewhere, but it's
still within driving distance ofhis family.
(01:16:33):
But then again, if somebodywants to get far away, I mean,
obviously there is how manylocations was it 57 in the?
Speaker 2 (01:16:41):
United States.
Speaker 3 (01:16:41):
So we can find a place for them if there's a bed
open there.
Speaker 1 (01:16:46):
So when I was on the website, is it Oklahoma,
somewhere that has a man's home,but then there's also a women's
house as well.
Speaker 2 (01:17:00):
Correct.
Yeah, we do, men and women.
It's actually I think it's inthe works right now that they
would like to start.
We're going to try to start one, a women's hope center in
Lincoln.
Yeah, so it'll be sponsored byour same church, but would be a
(01:17:20):
woman's house.
Speaker 3 (01:17:21):
And I think that total number of campuses include
some women.
I can't remember how many arewomen and men, but it does
include the total right.
Speaker 2 (01:17:30):
Male and female homes .
Speaker 3 (01:17:32):
And that's important as well, because when they were
talking to town councils and oneof the people and our pastor
mentioned it that he was veryadamant.
Well, this is a great thing forthe men, but you can't forget
the women as well.
There's a great need for womenhouses like this as well.
Speaker 2 (01:17:53):
It was actually somebody in a local police
department that said it.
Speaker 3 (01:17:59):
Yeah, we need a women's house.
So I think, they were prayingabout it and they feel pretty
led that they're going tosponsor a woman's house as well.
Speaker 1 (01:18:07):
Oh, that's great to hear.
So you said you have 57worldwide.
Speaker 2 (01:18:13):
No, that's just United States.
Speaker 1 (01:18:15):
Oh, that's just the United States.
Speaker 2 (01:18:18):
And then I think we have quite a few outside of the
United States.
Speaker 3 (01:18:23):
There's one in Thailand for women that they
just opened.
And that one is supported bythe government.
The government was big evenwith the faith-based program.
They were astonished with thestatistics and all that.
So the government said, hey,let's see what you can do.
Speaker 1 (01:18:44):
And then in Belize, hey, let's see what you can do.
And then in Belize.
That's amazing because there'sso much like communism in those
Southeast Asian countries.
Speaker 3 (01:18:52):
Yes, and so they've got that one.
Belize just opened one, and I'mtrying to think of some other
countries, but you would besurprised where they're at.
Actually, it's definitely theLord for them to put in these
Christian-based recovery centers, but they just have such a huge
(01:19:14):
problem, particularly withwomen in Thailand, that they
wanted to give this a oh yeah.
So it'll be interesting to seethe statistics on that I was
wrong.
Speaker 2 (01:19:24):
It's 51.
In the United States 57 total.
Speaker 1 (01:19:27):
Okay, okay, so you mentioned the rate.
What are the figures?
Speaker 2 (01:19:37):
for recovery.
So the national average is 18%.
The Hope Center's average is16% 18%.
Speaker 1 (01:19:44):
For who?
Speaker 2 (01:19:45):
Graduation rate Okay, yeah, centers, uh, average is
18 percent.
For who?
Graduation rate okay, yeah.
So, um, the rate of it'sprobably, I don't know 70, 30, I
think, men's to women's house.
So does that answer yourquestion?
Speaker 3 (01:20:02):
I think he got ahead of himself there.
Speaker 2 (01:20:15):
I was just so.
I was trying to figure out,like you know, for the recovery
rate, what is the percentage ofthose?
Speaker 1 (01:20:17):
Yeah, we're at a 61% graduation rate 61% graduation
rate Okay, and those that are18% are those that don't and
those that are 18% are thosethat don't.
Speaker 2 (01:20:28):
That is the national average for your regular
rehabilitation centers.
Okay, Now granted that could bea 30-day program.
That could be a 60-day programCould be a year-long program?
Yeah, so 61%.
And the big thing about HopeCenter is probably about 80% of
the Hope Centers are now ran byguys who have been through the
(01:20:49):
program, so they'll graduate,then they turn around and train
and eventually, within two yearshave their own center.
Speaker 1 (01:21:00):
Wow, okay, yeah, that gives purpose.
I think that's probably what alot of them are lacking, don't
you think?
Speaker 2 (01:21:07):
Absolutely, and we've got quite a few that say,
listen, I'm graduating.
They laugh.
They always say, man, we'recoming for your job.
Speaker 3 (01:21:18):
Y'all keep saying that, but I think you're right.
I think at some point drug useand I'm not, I've never used
drugs, so I can't say this but Igather there's some point in
their life where they have a lowself-esteem and like Steve will
even tell you well, he told youI didn't think I was qualified
for this job, he just didn'tthink he could do it, and it
(01:21:40):
just the encouragement of thepastor and myself and that's
what these guys need as well.
So, and I like how they can doan internship once they finish
the program and then they can goto a paid apprenticeship before
and this all along is trainingpurposes and then they can have
their own center, I mean, withina couple of years.
(01:22:04):
These guys have a great purposein life and so, yeah, I think
that's what they lack.
Speaker 1 (01:22:11):
Yes, so that's wonderful.
So 61% success rate for astrong, faith-based, structured
environment Absolutely Wow, wow,absolutely Wow.
Speaker 2 (01:22:34):
So what happens if there's a relapse?
So if they do relapse they,depending on who the house is
nine times out of 10, we willrestart them in the program.
You know, we're definitely notgoing to say you know, okay, you
relapse, we're not ever goingto take it back, because that's
(01:22:57):
how are we going to be.
We're going to be forgiven byGod, but yet we're not going to
forgive somebody for relapsing.
No, we're going to, we're goingto bring it back, but we're
probably going to put them intoa different center, a different
atmosphere, probably furtheraway.
So we can try to keep that,Because we know their faith is
there.
They just made a bad decision.
We're just going to move themaway where they can be a little
(01:23:20):
bit further away from where theygot in trouble.
Speaker 1 (01:23:23):
Yeah, yeah.
So, going back to theirschedule, what's some of the
downtime activities that y'allhave on those rest days?
So?
Speaker 2 (01:23:32):
they, it's so funny they.
We actually have a ping pongtable, we have a pool table, we
have corn hole, you know, ofcourse they can watch TV
Basketball Basketball goal.
It's a.
We just put in some horse.
Of course they can watch TVBasketball Basketball goal.
We just put in some horseshoepit.
(01:23:54):
They always have something todo.
We have a weight room in ourgarage.
They have plenty to keep thembusy.
Speaker 3 (01:24:04):
Yeah, I think it's interesting.
On, like some Saturdays, theyhave a family Saturday.
I want to make sure.
Speaker 2 (01:24:15):
So, out of four Saturdays, we have a family
Saturday, which means all thefamily can come in.
We'll do a cookout, We'll dosomething where you know we've
put out a slip and slide and ablow up something fun.
One Saturday we'll do atournament day, so we'll play
(01:24:36):
darts, We'll have a darttournament, have a pool
tournament, have a cornholetournament, and the winners of
them we give them a $20 giftcard.
And then our third Saturday isusually our rest day.
They can get up, eat breakfast,do their house, church and then
(01:24:56):
they can just relax the rest ofthe day.
They can go back to bed if theywant to.
You'd be amazed if guys get upearly at 4.45, they get an off
day.
You're probably not going tosee them a lot.
Speaker 1 (01:25:08):
I hope so we're going to burn that Saturday up yeah.
Speaker 3 (01:25:12):
Catch up on their sleeping.
Speaker 1 (01:25:14):
Yeah, I was going to say catch up on the lost sleep.
Speaker 2 (01:25:16):
Yes, and then the last Saturday is we try to do
like a paid rec, so we'll go and.
Speaker 3 (01:25:24):
We've went to the Hickory Meadows Speedway.
Speaker 2 (01:25:28):
They've been bowling, so we try to do something fun.
You know as hot as it is rightnow.
Our guys are going to the pool.
This Saturday, one of ourchurch members opened up his
pool and said hey, bring, bringyour families over and let's
just have a pool day Wonderful.
Speaker 1 (01:25:46):
Yeah, wonderful.
Speaker 2 (01:25:48):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (01:25:48):
Okay, so last thing I want to talk about is this gala
event.
Can you tell the audience aboutthis?
Speaker 2 (01:25:57):
So this is our first ever gala.
It is literally.
It's going to be a night toremember.
Yeah, it's at the ProvidenceMill in Maiden, an absolute
beautiful facility, and we havestrung together a team that has
(01:26:21):
really just made this eventspectacular.
Yeah, it's going to it's goingto be something special.
Yeah, and it's our.
It's what we really we try tolive off for a year.
You know it helps us keep thehouse up and running.
You know repairs and stuff.
(01:26:42):
You know you think you gotright.
Now we're at 16, we're gettingready to go to 34.
You know that's a whole lot ofwear and tear on the house that
is.
Speaker 1 (01:26:51):
So you got 16 men living there and you're getting
ready to expand it to 34 men asour septic gets done to 34.
Speaker 2 (01:26:58):
Okay, we're in a construction zone right now,
redoing the basement.
Yeah, so know it'll be a greatfood.
The smoke pit out of Corneliusis going to cater our food.
What's it?
Cornelius or Concord?
Maybe Concord, I'm not sure,but absolutely amazing.
(01:27:21):
You know we've got audio videos, so we'll have testimonies from
a graduate of the program whois now actually an intern, and
then a couple of our residentsare going to do their testimony.
You know, one is a former Well,some of a former, I guess he
(01:27:48):
was in the Army.
Speaker 3 (01:27:49):
Oh yeah, he's a veteran.
Speaker 2 (01:27:50):
Yeah.
And then we've got one who justgot out of prison after 10
years in prison.
So they're going to do theirtestimonies and they're
absolutely just unbelievable,literally emotional testimonies.
And then we'll have someauction stuff.
(01:28:11):
We've got a silent auction.
We'll have a live auction.
We have Eric Church VIP tickets.
We have six tickets to a UNCfootball game.
We have a trip to Montana.
One of our Hope Center houseshas Airbnb in Montana, so we're
(01:28:35):
going to auction that off.
Speaker 3 (01:28:39):
Baskets for the silent auction.
It's going to be a really neatway to donate to the cause, to
help the house stay open andhelp these guys.
And so we're excited.
It's the first one.
We're a little nervous becausewe really don't have anything to
go by.
(01:28:59):
But the church is amazing.
They put the committee together.
We meet about once a week andevery day, every time we meet,
there's just more exciting newsthat they've got this many
sponsorships and they've gotthis and we're going to have
this going on.
And usually I'd like to say,they get about a year to plan
(01:29:22):
this and by the time this is allsaid and done, we will have
have had a total of maybe sixweeks something like that six
weeks to plan this event and I,like I said, it's going to be a
spec, a spectacular event.
it's a gatsby kind of theme.
Um, it's going to have like theold hollywood type, hollywood
(01:29:44):
type decor come in your best orcome just however you feel led
to come, but if you want to wearI mean I always say somebody is
always looking for a goodopportunity to dress up and have
good food, so well, it's reallygoing to be a neat thing.
Speaker 1 (01:30:01):
Yeah, yeah.
So what?
How do we order tickets?
Speaker 2 (01:30:05):
Yeah, so what?
How do we order tickets?
So the easiest way is you go toit's hopecmcom backslash gala
and then just go under themaiden, the maiden link, and you
can buy your tickets right offof there.
There's $65 a ticket or you canbuy a whole table which seats
(01:30:29):
eight, for 500.
Speaker 1 (01:30:31):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:30:31):
And it is worth.
It's going to be worth everypenny.
Speaker 1 (01:30:36):
And that's September 9th.
September 9th, Okay.
Well, I appreciate you guysbeing willing to come on here
and share your testimony.
Speaker 3 (01:30:48):
Well, thank you for having us.
I know when you reached out tous I thought, well, I would love
to do that, but it's really histestimony to tell, and he
didn't hesitate.
So I'm so glad that he'swilling to share what he's
overcome and what God's done inhis life.
Speaker 1 (01:31:09):
So thank you for having us.
Thank you very much, yes.
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