May 17, 2025 • 59 mins
Crashouts & Confessionals (Call Her Daddy Made Me Do It)
Jake’s out with a scooter injury, Gracie’s out saving the world (as always), and in steps my soulmate bestie Tia for a chaotic and healing little episode you didn’t know you needed.
We kick things off with our favorite Nashville recs before diving headfirst into mini crashouts, emotional rebrands (goodbye, situationships — hello, fake boyfriends), and the art of not tolerating disrespect.
We also ask the real questions: How do you know if someone actually likes you? And share some cringe but real stories of when they definitely didn’t.
Plus… confessions. About old friendships. About past relationships. About our own toxic moments. But this is your sign that healing is hot, and we’ve grown.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:01):
We're rolling. We're rolling the tapes now.
The last time you need to put the mic, like right here.
No, I know, but that's what Gracie said the last time.
And then we couldn't even use the footage because we couldn't
hear her. Hello.
Oh my God. See, that's a huge difference.
Hi, Tia. Hi my name is Tia.
Thanks for having me on the bimbo blonde.
(00:24):
Podcast. Everyone keeps calling it the
Bimbo Blonde podcast, and it's because I rebranded once after
launching. What is it called?
Bimbo banter. Bimbo banter.
Yeah, but there's a lot of confusion around that.
And I'll take either. It's fine as long as you just
recognize it's bimbos. So same thing.
(00:45):
I love the word bimbos. Me too, clearly.
But yeah, let's address the elephant not in the room with
us. And that's that.
We have a guest already. I guess I'm the guest.
Welcome. Thanks everyone.
Thank. You.
Well, OK, we have to talk about Jake, at least for the people so
(01:08):
they know he's alive, if you don't already know.
He's alive. I think he got hit on a scooter,
I don't know. You tell him so funny, so funny.
Yeah, Jake had a scooter accident, which it is a good
topic to talk about in Nashvillebecause the scooters are just
running rampant. That's crazy because I feel like
they're running rampant rampant in GR so.
(01:30):
Oh, really? Yes, I love a scooter.
OK, I have also said before thatI want to go ride a scooter just
for fun, not downtown because I know that's infamous for having
wrecks and stuff. I would never want to take super
busy, that's crazy, but that's not so.
Boys listening every time I see a boy on a scooter it doesn't do
(01:53):
anything for you anyway so it's just stop.
That's crazy, I actually haven'tseen anyone really riding.
The scooter, every time I see someone, specifically a man,
it's because they're here visiting and it's a flock of
them on scooters. And I'm like, what made you
think that that was? I don't mind it just because I
(02:15):
love a scooter. I love anything.
I want to say me too electric but I've not rode a scooter
before, but that's because I I don't want to do it downtown.
I want to like go to a park. Yeah.
Like even just around where you live, it would be fun.
Yeah. Yeah.
And the bikes are fun. I did that in Chicago.
(02:38):
Wait, an electric bike? Yeah, an.
Electric bike, that is a move. Like when I went to Charleston,
people were riding them on the beach and that's so smart
because you still get to ride it, but like not put in the
effort, like in the sand and stuff.
Yeah. Wait, were they on the sand?
Yeah. So they had to be like tires?
(02:58):
Are they normal? I don't know.
I don't know how that works. Yeah, I don't know.
Either. That was definitely a thing.
I saw all the people doing that.Charleston's.
I want to go there so bad. Well, you watch Southern Charm.
I. Watch Southern Charm.
Are they in Charleston? They're in Charleston.
I love it. Well, that's true because Craig
has the pillow shop, yes. That's I went the base, yeah.
(03:21):
Now they have one in Nashville. Yeah, we went to that together.
And we didn't stay. People were passing out on the
street because it was hot. Oh yeah, the fire truck came and
we were looking in the window though.
We were like, he looked good. He did look good.
He looked and I've never thoughtthat he was super attractive.
Same but in person I know. We're just so immune to
(03:43):
celebrities and good looking people because of social media.
So you just like and then that'swhere hate comes from and all
the negative comments and criticism.
But then you get humbled really fast when you see them in person
'cause you're like, they're really attractive compared to
all, all the uglies. Well, I'm sorry, but I think
(04:03):
it's also just a Nashville thingor maybe a Tennessee thing, but
they don't know what they're doing here.
There's whole ugly. Oh, the boys.
The boys are so ugly here. Yeah.
Far and few between where you'reseeing someone that's like.
No, I know they're so scary hereand I don't know what that is
either because. It's like they're not groomed.
(04:23):
I don't know. I didn't get the one on a date
with a short king like a week ago and honestly I like a tall
man. Yeah, there's just something
like, oh, you can throw me around.
You're so strong and bigger thanme.
Yeah, there's this man at work. He is like 7, not 7.
Two. That's way too tall.
Scary tall. He's like 6364.
(04:45):
I don't know. I love in love.
Just with the height and his smile.
Wait, is this the one that you kind of were around this weekend
or no? No, this is a new one because I
had to come up with a whole new crush.
She's leaving work crush. Actually, I'll no, I don't.
I have to have a work crush or what am I going for?
I just can't do it. Yeah, I've never had a work
(05:07):
crush. Ever.
I have to make one up like if they're I will find one I will.
Find one. Yeah.
I'm kind of glad though. But I will say, if they wanted
me to come into the office everyday of the week and they wanted
me to look more presentable, hire some good looking people, I
don't know. Yeah.
Because the way I show up to work sometimes no.
(05:29):
Yeah, I would show up to work. No, I do the things I wear and
the way I look. Sometimes I look at myself and
I'm like, oh, I went in public like this.
That's crazy. I But you wore heels to work.
I never wore heels to work. Yeah, that's true.
Well, if I didn't have to, I wouldn't.
Well, no one's ever told me I have to.
Yeah, I. Don't have to, office clothes
(05:51):
are just so hard because I don'twant to feel like, I don't know,
unprofessional. But then, like in typical
professional clothes, I feel so ugly in general.
So I guess actually I've never had a real corporate job, so I
probably would be wearing heels.Like you actually work downtown
and have like a real job. Well, I don't.
(06:11):
You act like you never. Well, yeah, I guess your job
before the last one, even thoughyour last job was office job,
one before that was not an office job.
No, I think the closest thing would be Lee and Burch.
And I did look cute, but that was.
Clothing fun. No.
Yeah. See, my last corporatey job
before this one, like, we had business casual, but it was
(06:37):
dress for your day. Like you could wear jeans and
sneakers if you wanted to. So that that to me is harder
than just setting a uniform. Yeah, I wear corporate versus
wear like business casual. Business casual is so many
things and. That's true.
Some people would wear like they're just normal clothes
because they're just, they're just, they always dress
(06:59):
appropriate. I guess I couldn't wear my
normal. Clothes to work.
I am something to say. OK one time this girl at work
she got called out for wearing her uggs to work and so she wore
heels every day since and then so like it's so funny.
So she would literally wear heels but like not you.
Her hair and makeup in one day Courtney was like no makeup, no
(07:20):
hair but heels are on and it wasso funny.
Because like, you're wearing thewhole.
The whole thing but like your hair and makeup isn't done and
it just doesn't match whatsoever.
Like. You could have put on a sneaker,
you could have put on a little mule, and she has the cutest
stamp. Edelman mules so you don't need
to wear a heel every day, babe. I mean she really ran with
(07:41):
proving her point though, so respected.
That is true, That is true. But.
I kind of did that on accident one time.
I had some like not uggs they were just some boot looking
slippers for sure and someone was definitely talking ish about
me. This is at my old job because I
wore like slippers to wear. I was like OK none of you guys
dress up though. So like This is why we need some
guidelines. Or were they like they had some?
(08:03):
Hard bottoms, OK, they were just.
But did they like look cute withthe elf?
I thought so. I was wearing like a teddy type
sweater with. Jeans like.
Fine, they all get matched. Yeah, it's just.
Cuz they were like Teddy. Cuz that's the same exact thing
that happened to me. I wore mine out of the house.
But they didn't get it. They.
Didn't get it and was like this is cute with the outfit you
(08:25):
don't understand. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, they just don't get it.
Where have you been recently andwhat do you like in Nashville
right now? I love Benji's bagels right now.
OK, I've been there, attempted twice and the line has been so
long every time that I've left no I've.
Left well that the line is long for clearly a reason.
(08:47):
Yeah, but each time has been like when I was not well.
That makes sense. I probably actually I will stick
it out. I will stick it out for some
food. I'm a fat back to a tea.
But you guys Bengies bagels go on a weekday.
You you work from home. Like you can make it there on a
weekday random time of the day. There was no line.
(09:09):
Did you get coffee too? Do they have?
Coffee. Yes we do.
When I try a new place I get my same order.
Iced tea, almond milk, honey. Iced tea, Sorry.
Iced latte. Oh, OK.
Iced latte with almond milk, honey, cinnamon, caramel.
That's what I got. And then the bagel I got though
(09:29):
was so good because I got a cheddar, jalapeno bagel,
scallion, cream cheese, bacon, egg, bacon, egg and cheese.
Scallion scare me. I'm not picky either, I swear.
Love Mexican these days? Yeah, I could eat that for every
meal. Breakfast too.
Those are my two favorite foods is like Mexican and breakfast.
(09:49):
I'm not really a Big Breakfast girl because I don't love eggs,
but have you been liking in Nashville?
Well it's funny you say that because the last time on the pod
I was talking about Super Rica or Superica.
However, the people are saying it these days.
It's Super Rica. Thank you.
Thank you. If you listen to the last one,
then you'll get it. But we were talking about it
because again, my two favorite foods, Mexican and breakfast.
(10:12):
So I was like, put them together.
I didn't even know they had brunch.
Me neither until recently, but yeah, me and Tia went to brunch
at Superica on Sunday and I wantto say it lived up to my dreams.
But the pancake was amazing. It was really, really good.
(10:32):
I just think we had a bad service day, but it was also
Mother's Day so cut them some slack.
Barcelona wine bar. I'm not loving it lately because
I haven't been in a while, but that's hands down my favorite
restaurant in Nashville. Favorite restaurant?
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, that's very interesting.
(10:52):
It's OK, I like it, but it's not.
It's OK vibes, ambiance fun variety like drinks and I just
especially for a date. I haven't been on a date there.
Yeah, that's. True, but.
Like that way he's not like ordering for you.
(11:12):
I wouldn't mind that. Depending on like how it's done.
Yeah, don't pick an entree for me.
But like, if you're no. But if someone's like ordering
for the table moment, like that's literally perfect.
Yeah, because I don't want to use my brain.
Don't ask me what I want. Yeah, I just, everyone's always
talking about how fun it is and I've they ever, I never really
see the people pouring the wine down grow that often and like
(11:35):
the dancing on the tables or something.
I don't. Know guys?
Apparently they pour wine down here.
And I've only seen that. Like twice place too.
I've never seen it actually. It was so my favorite place.
We did do that for Cindy's birthday, but I will.
That's so fun. No, the ambience is really nice.
It is a Yeah. Nice.
Place. It is a good place.
Yeah. You were asking me about the
topic of today and one of my things was mini crash outs.
(12:02):
I don't know if people are talking about this or not but
I'm trying to be in my peaceful non stress era and be a better
person alone I guess but I'm coping through a mini crash out.
I think we all like have heard about crashing out and how I
(12:23):
coped earlier this week is I wasvery stressed and wound up and
then I just like let myself crash the fuck out and get out
of my system. What does that look like for
you? We don't.
Need to go into those details. Everyone wants to know the
details. I don't know, just like yell a
little bit, I don't know, slam things around and curse under
(12:44):
your breath. Under the breath, OK.
I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to make it sound like
more fueling than it is. At times things catch up to me
and then I'm not in a good mood so.
But then I feel so guilty for being upset.
Yeah, but why? Because I want to be in a good
food. Yeah, I want to be a peaceful
(13:05):
person. So when I feel myself.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense for you.
But I feel like you're the type of person where you put on
something where, but it's like you just need to let out.
Like no one gives a fuck. Yeah, but you give a fuck.
But I'm telling you, no one gives a fuck.
Yeah, I guess I do do that with my friends too.
Like I'm not really talking about how I really feel because
(13:27):
I'm trying to be positive. But like no offense but people
can read shit and like tell so it's like but.
That's The thing is I think I'm like hiding it well.
Yeah, but it's OK, But I also think I'm intrudive, so maybe
other people aren't. That's also true.
It's like, I feel like maybe some that's for anybody.
(13:48):
If you don't know someone well, you can't tell if they're
stressed or yeah, how they feel.But yeah, I get so surprised
when someone calls me out. I'm like, wait, you could tell.
Yeah, but I think people are more intuitive than they think,
and they do. Know so true because I can also
read other people very well or like sense like if they're upset
I crashed out and then afterwards I was like I'm better
(14:08):
now good. I kind of, that's kind of crazy.
Oh yeah, I'm better now. But that's how I, no, I'm
accepting it. So I'm like let's like maybe
brand that and like make it a cute thing or something.
That way I don't have to feel bad.
I can just like be stressed, crash the fuck out for like 5
minutes and then just accept it and be like, OK, I'm still
peaceful. I just had to get it out of my
(14:29):
system. Yeah, it's a mini crash out.
A mini crash out. Yeah, well, how are your crash
outs? What do they look like?
I are they mine? I think I just go through dark
brooding moments by myself but. Huh.
Your crash out is not mini at all.
I think you have a crash out arc.
(14:50):
Yeah, I just go inward completely and hibernate.
That's what I do. But The funny thing is, it's not
dramatic. I just sometimes I need to just
be alone but it sounds terrible but I in so many different
(15:11):
readings and just my chart alonesay you are the type of person
you need to be like sit alone and sometimes it will be wait.
What's your moon? I'm a Libra moon.
But see, I'm Libra, I think I have a Libra moon.
Do you have a Libra moon? I can't.
Remember. Yeah, I do.
But I also I have like. A and I'm a Virgo rising.
(15:35):
I don't. Know Virgo's my favorite sign,
everyone. Everybody says that.
I love Virgos, I really do love a Virgo.
Yeah, that's such a thing. I don't know.
Yeah. Do you guys like Virgos?
Let us know. Yeah.
But yeah, I go just through it and I just need to be alone and
not talk to people for sure. Maybe, I mean, I think that just
(15:57):
like looks a little different for me because I it's the same
thought process at least, but I just am not good at it.
Yeah, because and that's OK. I think I go through that in
many waves through the day or every other day, sometimes even
with social media. I'm, like, blowing up my story
all day every day one day or then like the next.
(16:18):
I'm deleting everything. Like, I don't want anyone to
know what I'm doing. I'm just like, that was so
embarrassing. Yeah.
And it's just a constant wave. I do have many crash outs like
that where I will delete Snapchat or Instagram for like a
fucking day and I'm like, that was literally so stupid.
You'd obviously want to see what's going on.
(16:40):
Be fucking for real. I do that too though.
It's like, Oh my God. And like, then I'll be like,
this is the last time I'm ever doing that.
So childish. But it's less about me and I
just feel like bogged down by other people's perceptions and
like energy and stuff. I'm like, I just want to turn it
all off. Yeah, you said perceptions.
(17:01):
I feel like you hear a lot of people think I could never give
a fuck like in. Some ways I do, but clearly, but
in other ways I really don't. I don't know, it just depends.
I think I care less about like an individual person versus like
an overall perception of like what I'm putting out.
(17:21):
Yeah, but I don't. Yeah.
But I feel and I think that it connects with you not showing
what's going on. Yeah, it's like, no.
One gives a fuck. Just 100 like 110 everyone 100
and 1010% be your fucking center.
Is this is like part of my arc right now?
My personal arc, that's not shadow work, but like I kind of
(17:43):
been, I kind of know that I'm doing that also.
It is a shadow work I feel. It is.
That's very true. Like go on.
But I've been learning about this because Libra moon it your
moon in general is who you are inside and like your inner world
versus your sun is what the restof the world sees.
(18:04):
So my Aries is like very can be out there and bubbly and social
whatever fiery. But then like my I have such
like a deep inner world and I'm not always showing like my
millions of thoughts that are going on.
So then I do crash out sometimesand I'm like, OK, I got to turn
it all off because that's not like how I feel right now.
Yeah. So yeah, not to go All Star
(18:28):
signee, but if you get me and Tia together, we're going to do.
That I do love astrology. Yeah, me too.
It's so and. Tarot cards.
Guys we're which is I'm not, I don't think, Tia.
I don't, I don't know if I am, but I do think I have certain
gifts. I don't know.
(18:49):
But I also just, I don't know. I could.
I couldn't. I'm trying to.
You could. Yeah, you could pick, I feel
like whether you wanted to. Pursue it more or like really go
more. And yeah, because I also, I
always, I've always said I was 1010% Cupid in the past life.
And my Co worker, he would always be sick and I would
(19:12):
always know like, oh, Colin's not coming in today.
And he finally like when I was going to leave, he was like,
yeah, I wasn't actually sick. I was love sick.
And I'm like, Oh my God, that's crazy.
Like I just, I just know. Tia.
Says something. Watch out, that's how I feel.
Also another thing, like I feel like I have this like I don't
know if it's a thing of jinxing myself.
(19:35):
Remember I go Emmy's not moving until she gets a job.
Like 2 days later she is announcing she has a job.
I'm like, wait that. Can you do that for me?
I like. Money.
All the at the time, like I literally will say something
just so something else happens because I have the power of
Jinx. I swear to God I don't know what
it is. I like to understand what's
(19:56):
happening all the time and even like with other.
People, I think that's like the Libra thing because I do too.
Like I need to know everything. I want to know everything.
And I'm trying to like figure out like, why are you really
like that? Or like I need to know?
That's the thing, people hate onit so much and they don't even
give it a chance. But like what astrology?
Yeah, just. Like oh I don't trust anyone
that doesn't believe in astrology.
(20:17):
I don't trust any like I don't think you have to know
everything or like. Not that, but if you don't even
try to like want to believe or like think, it could be real.
Then you're weird. Yeah.
Then we feel the same. Because if you're open minded or
you don't care, I would rather you not care then like be
against it. Yeah, I don't be like, oh, it's
just not right or like not believing in God's also crazy me
(20:39):
like be open minded like just towrite it off like.
That's like people that are atheists.
Like I don't I truly don't care what religion you are or what
you believe in, but to just write yourself off as an atheist
and believe in nothing, that to me rubs just rubs me the wrong
way. It's not even offensive against
my own faith and beliefs, but it's just like.
Something. Yeah, I believe in something.
(21:00):
Even if it is only astrology, atleast you have something going
on. Something, I don't know, my
neighbors like that. That's when I lost my crash.
I said, Oh my God, you believe in nothing.
That's weird. And especially if I want to talk
about it, I mean, not to try to make this all about boys, but if
their first reaction is like, even on like online, they're
(21:20):
like, oh, if you're an astrologygirl, like, blah, blah, blah.
OK guys, I'm not in my room withthe crystal ball, even though I
wish I had one. That'd be so cool.
I'm kidding. What is the next topic?
I'm scared. OK, I can't make this whole
thing about dating so now we'll talk about the dating The next
(21:43):
little chicken scratch I had wasfake boyfriends.
We're doing a lot of rebranding.We're we're business women today
on this pod because rebranding the crash out to be cute and
mini and yeah, OK, and now to rebranding like a situation
ship. Yeah, because that's the same
(22:05):
thing with hot girl summer. I think I've said that before of
I hate the connotation. It just needs to rebrand.
So I said So what? Flirty fun?
Like flirty fun is cute. I love flirting.
Fun and just shows that you're down to do things, but like
doesn't mean you're going to be a.
(22:25):
Whore or it doesn't. It doesn't give like Cheeto das
I'm. Celibate these days.
Help. I don't know.
Take that out. No, I like actually want to be
celibate I think. But I love a date and I love
flirting and I. Like the idea of a date?
Yeah, I love an idea. I went to the virgin rooftops
for a day. Oh, how on brand the Virgin
(22:47):
rooftops. Yeah, but I did fuck him that
night. Oh, so you're starting over?
I'm starting over. It did it because I hadn't in a
while and I couldn't remember the last time I had had done it.
And I just wanted to know the date was this.
This was like a week ago or a two weeks.
Oh, like a week. Yeah, like last week.
(23:07):
I think I'm wearing his chain right now.
What talk? About not jinxing, yeah.
What do you mean? Is it like a voodoo doll?
Oh no, I just wanted to take a picture of me wearing it, but I
do. Like it?
Does he know you have it? Yeah, I sent it to him.
Obviously, that's why I took a picture.
OK, but I was. Gonna say that's what he gets
(23:28):
for having a girl on the. Was it your first date?
It was our first date. Yeah, I was gonna say that's on
him for that. He didn't know if you steal or.
Not Oh no, I don't steal. That's.
I I'm not saying you do, I'm just saying that's what boys get
for not being more responsible and keeping it in their pants.
I think he left it on purpose. Oh.
(23:50):
He was trying to be Cinderella. I think he was trying to be
Cinderella because he was. So he loves you?
Well, no, but. He wants to see you again.
He does. He did.
He was like, I'm going to be in your neighborhood tonight, but
I'm not going to see him. Will you see him again?
Well, I got to give him his necklace back.
Yeah. So I will see him again.
I mean, you don't have to. I don't have to, but I'm going
(24:12):
to give his necklace back. Yeah, she's not a thief, guys.
Yeah, we're getting off topic. I have to get back to the fake
boyfriends. Oh, what was the fake?
Boyfriend OK, OK, OK. I really like this idea because
same thing with situation ships.We're rebranding here.
I think it's totally fine to date and want to hang out with
(24:33):
somebody and have a connection and whatever because you
shouldn't burn bridges either. But I'm not defending myself
here guys, I'm just saying. The difference is for it, it
works when people they they're not catching the motherfucking
feelings. No, no, no, I'm not talking
(24:54):
about feelings at all because I think you can like, like your
fake boyfriend. You should like whoever you're
hanging out with. I'm saying the difference is the
respect and the dynamic because like I have friends that and
I've done this in the past too. If I'm giving an example about
something, I'm not Miss Angel orPerfect, OK, I've done it.
(25:15):
I'm not giving advice blindly orwhatever.
OK, now I've got that out of theway.
Like I've had a situation beforewhere it was like super toxic
and like maybe I liked him at one point more, he liked me at
one point more, but like it was just like not healthy and not
respectful. And I feel that way with some of
(25:38):
my girlfriends is they have thisflirty fun thing and maybe it's
not even someone they talk to onthe daily, but like see every
once in a while. But the guy is just so
disrespectful. And I'm like, see, I can support
you going back to somebody or like, occasionally having a
little sleepover with a boy. Yeah, if they're respectful.
(26:03):
And like, I think that's what a fake boyfriend is like, you
know, one of my previous fake boyfriends I can't get too, too
clear about. But I will say if I had a
sleepover, he took me to breakfast and drove me home in
(26:24):
the morning. That is nice.
That's a fake boyfriend and whenI would leave he would say OK
text me and be like of course bye.
And then I wouldn't text him. Oh, and but like, that's just
like how it was. Yeah, and you're fine with that?
Yeah. And I think anybody like some
people might be like, oh, that'sa situation ship.
(26:46):
And I'm like, but it's it's really not.
Yeah, I would call that the people you're like, well, I
guess see you're not ever going to date.
Yeah, it's a very thin line. And no, I wouldn't date him and
he wouldn't date me clearly. Like, I feel like, you know,
within a month's time, less thanthat.
But yeah, I think I think stuff like that is OK, Like it's
(27:07):
healthy. And I think it's healthy.
It's like if you were in public.I mean, I would so call people
you're dating. Yeah, I guess that's what I'm
saying. It's a fake boyfriend.
Yeah, cuz in public someone might think your boyfriend
girlfriend and that's how it should be.
It shouldn't be some toxic situation ship where he's like
sneaking you out the door and like texting you terrible things
(27:28):
and making you cry and all that kind of stuff.
Those types of men we need to bully.
Yeah, sorry, that is the behavior I just like won't put
up with from my friends like at that point that because like I'm
not trying to be a hypocrite when I'm like OK, I'm going to
go see this boy that doesn't want to date me, but like.
Everyone be strong. Yeah.
(27:48):
And I would just like to be clear, I haven't done that in a
long, long time. Good job.
Thank you. Thank you.
I already knew you were going tohave topics.
Yeah, I do. The first one is about identity.
Identity. It started because there's a
trend right now with the butterfly effect.
(28:10):
Have you seen all those? I've seen them all but like it's
because they were all doing themwrong.
Yeah, they were. They were, but it started with
that for me because me and Ashlyn had this conversation in
San Diego because we were walking the beach.
It was a beautiful sunset and we're like all sappy and stuff.
And we're like, it's so crazy that we're here right now.
(28:31):
And one of those. And then I just kind of started
going down the trail of like howme and Ashlyn even met and like.
Is that a butterfly effect? I I mean, and just everything
leading up to it, yeah, just me moving to Nashville and the
things that had to happen to getme there and like how I even got
connected to that friend group. So, yeah, we were having one of
(28:53):
those moments. And it's just crazy to think
about how everything leading up to where you are right now on
purpose. When I am having a sad time or
I'm stressed about what the heckI'm doing, I'm just like, OK
well I've clearly felt this way in the past and I'm always
grateful for the way it turns out regardless.
(29:16):
Because even if it's bad things,I learned something through it
and became better. Everything happens for a reason.
Yeah, What's your craziest butterfly effect?
I think moving here was the mostbutterfly effect as I was
working at Lee and Burch and my friend just so happened to come
(29:40):
in to Lee and Burch that day. Her flight got delayed.
And the second I saw her becauseshe's going to come into
Nashville, and the second I saw her as like, oh, I know I'm
going to be going to Nashville with her.
She ended up coming to my house and then I went with her to
Nashville. And that's How I Met Max.
And then I got my job because hewas like, oh, what are you
(30:03):
doing? Like blah, blah, blah.
And I moved to Nashville. Yeah.
So I feel like that's. A flight getting delayed?
That's pretty butterfly. I feel like that's the most
butterfly effect for me. Like we're in similar but
different spots right now in a place where we want growth and
change. I don't think it's a bad thing
to say what you want out loud, but unless you're like, you're
(30:26):
one of us to like to keep things.
I am, yeah. I am.
Yeah. I don't like to talk about my
hopes and dreams. But maybe.
I I believe in evil eye though. That's true, so maybe I should.
OK, that's going back to me freaking out about my social
media sometimes and just be likeOK, I need to turn my location
off. I need to be private on
everything. I don't want anyone to know what
(30:47):
I'm doing because I just feel like I get like the perception
is like judgement but. People are going to be judging.
No, I know that's The thing is like I always snap out of it and
then I'm like back to being likeposting too much, oversharing,
whatever. I'm just like psychoanalyzing
myself right now. I mean that's social media.
(31:07):
One O 1 is you post what you want people to believe and see
versus like what you're actuallydoing or going through.
So I think sometimes what I put out there is not how I actually
feel inside. So then I freak out about it or,
like, stressed. And I'm just like, OK, I'm not
proud of that. Or like, yeah, I don't know.
Like I had one of the twins tellme one time.
(31:29):
Yeah. It was one of the first times I
think someone, like, really humbled me in this aspect
because it wasn't a weird transition period of me, like,
going back and forth from Nashville to home.
When I first moved, he called meout and he was just.
Like one of the twins, yeah. OK, Do you have the kid thing?
Yeah. What are they doing?
And we just talked about everything.
(31:50):
So I felt like he really knew meas a person and too much.
And he said to me, I just feel like who?
Like, what you post on social media isn't like you at all.
He's like, yeah. He's like, if I looked at your
social media, I would know. Not like, nothing like I would
completely misjudge you. Not like that I was posting
(32:12):
anything bad necessarily, but just that I wasn't coming
through authentically. I do judge but like I know I
don't know them so it's like I wouldn't.
What do you mean you judge? Oh, I'm Judge, I'm AI mean.
I think Oliver goes judge. Sorry, I would.
Not think I'm judgmental at all.Though you're you don't judge at
all. No.
(32:32):
Oh, I judge hard or, but I don'tcare at the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that judgment's not the right
word. But we just know every single
thing. Or like what you could be doing
better or some shit like that. Like they also just want you to
be your best. Oh, OK.
Yeah, yeah, no, I do want that for people, Yeah.
But I don't think that, see, I'mnot just outspoken enough to
(32:55):
ever come like come off like andjust say yeah, yeah.
If someone generally came to me and asked, sure.
But I feel like people, if they really want better, they'll do
better because you can tell people all day advice and give
them ideas and they're not goingto do it.
Yeah. Sometimes it takes just the
right person, but it normally isjust like you thing like you
(33:16):
need to want to be better for yourself I.
Don't know. See now I'm thinking about this.
The only people that I feel likeI'm 110% like, super honest and
harsh with is my family. And then like my best friend
Kyle, like we go at each other'sthroats sometimes, but it's just
because I know we can do better.So when you say it like that,
(33:40):
yeah, I can be judgmental and weget in tips all the time, but
it's because we're so blatantly honest with each other and I'm
just like, oh, that's stupid. My parents with threat and to
send me to public school. Oh my God, leave me be.
I don't want. To get that threat to and then
it really is the best thing in my life.
So yeah. Thank God they well, thank God
they didn't send me, but thank God they sent you.
(34:02):
No, thank God they sent me. Oh my God, if my parents didn't
send me to public school I'd probably be off in a church
right now wearing this shirt like no lie.
That would be crazy. I really am dying to tour the
nunnery right by my house. That's what we should do.
No, that gives me creepy vibes. I wonder if they have good food
(34:25):
in there. I feel like they have a private
shed. What do you need?
Do nuns live like that? I don't know.
I don't know they're. Supposed to be like humble and.
But they could, I mean whenever we went to retreats we had AI
mean not like a chef like a cook.
So like I'm assuming they would have a private?
Shop in every Catholic Church. Are there nuns?
(34:46):
I mean, yeah. I mean, they belong to a
diocese, I'm pretty sure. And they're not always at like
church, but we have them teachers at our school.
It's so interesting. But they definitely are at every
diocese, I'm sure, doing their little work, I don't know,
(35:08):
volunteering. I don't like, you know you
don't. Volunteer with them one day.
Could you imagine that'd be so fun?
I need to go to the nunnery, that is for damn sure I'm going
to go. Roll up there and see me.
I could see that they would loveyou.
I don't know what it is. Every type of group of people
love me and I know the Internet probably won't, but I don't
(35:28):
know. What it Why would you say that?
I don't know, I just feel like Iam too abrasive, weird and
crazy. Loves that.
I don't know. I feel like in general you
would. No, no, that's not true.
I think if anything, like in person, maybe no, that's a lie.
Maybe it isn't. I don't think it's the Internet
(35:50):
as a whole. I think it's maybe just niches,
I don't know. Yeah, different niches.
I mean, we have to be on the right side of TikTok for me,
baby. But I don't know, people love me
and I get baffled by it all the time when I meet them and people
when when I talk to people in person, they just like fall in
love. And I'm like, Oh my God, like I
don't. I'm just standing here.
(36:10):
See, I don't know, OK, I don't ever.
I don't get that reaction. I think really I'm really good
at first impressions, I think. And then after that, I'm
definitely, people are either like a fan or they're not.
And I don't know why or like what pans out from that, but
that's always happened to me. Really.
Yeah, In the first college I went to, I had this conversation
(36:32):
today with somebody. I was like, I was such a
controversial person because they're going to this person I
talked to today is going to a wedding that like is from that
college. And I was like, well, if you
want to be liked and have a goodnight, do not bring up me as a
conversation piece or like, like, Oh yeah, I know her like.
That's crazy. I was like, well, I it was read
(36:55):
the room and the environment, but like that college was
Christian, private and like super strict and I got in
trouble very early on and so I was just labeled like a bad kid
and so not in. College.
Yeah, in college. Wait, So what?
I'm pretty sure we've had this. Why did you go to this college
again? My.
Parents said that they would payfor it.
(37:16):
Oh my God. Oh my God.
I lasted 2 years and then I was like I can't do this anymore.
So when you transferred, did they pay for that?
They definitely helped me but like oh.
So do you have student loans? No, no, no, like they, they paid
for tuition, which is like your school, sure, but like when I
(37:37):
was not living on campus and hadrent and had to pay food and
like all literally every other expense that like I would have
had paid if I stayed at the other school.
Yeah, it's still, I worked like 2 jobs.
Good job. But yeah, just because I had the
reputation of being in trouble. I think that that was very
situational though. So this is an example.
(37:59):
But yeah, I feel like if you asked anybody, it would be 5050.
I think people would either be like, oh, I love her, or it
would be like. Yeah, well, now I guess.
I don't know. I feel like most people are
like, oh, she's funny. Like she's cool.
What? We have all the same friends
ish. Yeah, but I wouldn't even that
bigger group, I don't talk to anybody so.
(38:20):
Me. I talk to them, but they don't
talk to me. I've given up.
Yeah, I think they're nice, but.Choose people that choose you
guys. Exactly.
Yeah, I guess so much now. It's not really like you're not
(38:40):
in a sword here school for the general population to decide,
but that's true. I will say I've never met
someone that I disliked or like,found out that they disliked me
and then in turn been like upsetabout it because I'm like, yeah,
I dislike you too. So, well, that's good.
The feeling's mutual. I think.
(39:01):
I guess I mean more like just random people.
Yeah, I don't know. But I don't know either now.
I don't know if people like me or not.
Fuck, I thought. So I I think people like you.
I do too. But I'm like but I do have
fields fan ever so. I just think I'm.
Just like you're weird. I call people weird all the
(39:21):
time. I just think I'm just neutral.
Like I'm just here. Like I think that's how I also
see myself. Like I'm just here.
I'm nothing that crazy. Like I'm just neutral in this
storyline. Have you ever had like falling
outs with people though? That's the thing I did with one
person, one person ever. And I feel like that's a good
thing. Like falling outs are not for.
(39:42):
I've had so many. Fall outs, like girl, I don't
know how, like just sit down. I'm just sitting here.
OK, like not to not to play the victim, but I was the victim in
every single fallout. No, no, no.
OK, OK, OK. There are two off the top of my
(40:03):
head that I take full responsibility.
For at least you took some taking responsibility.
For I do because OK I had a girlbest friend in college and I
just went through a string of friendships in college trying to
figure myself out. I guess where like they just,
(40:24):
they just wanted to sleep with every person that I ever cared
about. And I don't know why that was a
theme, but I could knock it awayfrom it.
And even after college, I don't know what the, it must be like
West Tennessee, like it's a cesspool over there.
And yeah, so I kept going through that over and over
(40:45):
again. But I did have a really good
girl best friend like made junior of college.
What happened to her? So that's what I'm taking
responsibility porn he's like. So we we had like a little group
at the beginning, like of that summer going into junior year,
(41:05):
and then it fell apart because one of the girls slept with the
boy that I was talking to. And so it was a big drama, like
shit show, as you can imagine. And so she was like with me when
I found out. And so she at the time arguably
was closer to the other girl, but she was with me when like
(41:29):
the whole thing blew up. And then she's also just such a
kind good person that she was just like, you know, her
conscience. She would never be like besties
with that person because something similar happened to
her to like her long term boyfriend, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, we got super close after that.
We had to stick together becausewe were like bye bye from that
group. We were discarded.
(41:52):
And yeah, so she was great. And she like was such a good
friend to me. Like I get super stressed and
overwhelmed as we know that thenthat was a thing in college too.
And I talked about organizing onhere the last time and my living
space is a direct reflection of my mind and my mental space.
(42:13):
So in college one time I like had told her I was just so
overwhelmed and I was just like,everything's a mess like blah,
blah, blah. Like I just can't think
straight, whatever. And I came home from working
super late one time and she had like a gift basket on my bed and
like cleaned my entire space andorganized.
My closet I would never. No, I know she was such a.
(42:35):
Good person. Such a good person, but yeah, I
ruined that in hindsight. And what did you do?
I didn't do anything to her. She's like, why do we always
have to like be around other people?
Why do we have to like be in themix?
Essentially you're. Like be in the.
Mix go out and I would just dragher like I was on the go
constantly and I would just likeshe was my sidekick.
(42:57):
I'd just be like let's go, let'sgo, let's go.
And she was just, I kind of wore.
Her Where does she live now? Back in West Tennessee, yeah,
we've definitely we talked sincethen.
Like like the final fight was after her birthday, sadly, like
I so sad. Yeah, the final fight was after
her birthday. She got upset at me for
(43:19):
something. I feel like you're not
remembering a lot of things. We want the juicy details.
Down. She was very sensitive about
boys. There was a boy.
Of course there was a boy involved.
OK and there was this one boy that she went to high school
with at her birthday party and where we flirting, Yes, but like
she never got pissed. No, she wasn't pissed about
that's the thing. It wasn't about him.
(43:41):
It was just the fact that I was at her birthday flirting with a
boy. Wait, her birthday Flirting
with. No, she just knew him.
Her birthday. Yes, it was her birthday and she
was mad that like I was having this flirty thing at her
birthday but that's why I was upset back at her is because I
was like why are we fighting about this like sorry that I was
(44:01):
at your 21st like flirting with a boy anyways, so.
This was What grade is this like?
Junior year, Yeah, this is junior year.
I just, like, never really followed up.
And then we just did, like, did not speak for months, no issues.
We're just like, different people doing different things.
And I mean, she's literally, I think, married now.
(44:22):
They love getting married young.Yeah, they do in the South, but
yeah, that was probably the one situation where I'm like, okay,
that was a falling out with somebody I was really close to.
And. I could have probably done more
to also resolve it, but I didn'tso.
Yeah. That one is sad and then the
second one I'm fine now guys, I promise.
(44:43):
But for years I was like damn, Ifumble.
I did him like really wrong I. Do I know?
Him no, no, no, this is in college like call her daddy era
like I was just like life is just being so evil to these boys
(45:04):
and I think the thing was like. When was it because of the call
her daddy? I dated a boy for like 5 years
and. Was you say you were just wild
enough? Yeah, pretty much.
And I also was pretty fucking ugly growing up, so I was a cute
kid. I was a cute kid.
But once they turned 12, it was downhill from there.
Yeah. So I met this one boy and he was
(45:27):
total sweetheart. Whatever.
But the thing was when I like normally you meet a nice boy,
you're just like sick of them orlike can run all over them
because they just are too obsessed with you.
This one was kind of different because like we just had a
strong friendship off the bat. Like he had a boat and he was
just super fun and that helped also, not the boat.
(45:50):
I know, I know. But I think I was just like, so
caught up. I was so caught up in this world
of like, oh, he's super sweet. Like we get along so well.
We do fun things all the time. Yeah.
And so I just like, he was also younger than me, so ran very
separate circles. And so I how?
Much younger, 2 years. I don't know what it is about
(46:12):
someone younger that's so. Weird, now I don't think I could
ever talk to anyone younger thanme.
It was so nice. Like all the good things were
there for me in that situation and that's why I beat myself up
so long after the fact is because he literally like
overheard me on the phone one night doing what?
(46:37):
Calling a boy. You were sleeping, having a
sleepover, and you call another boy.
OK. And you thought he wouldn't
hear? OK, so you paint the picture.
I was staying at his lake house.I'm confessing.
I know this is all so bad. I would never do this now.
(46:58):
I think I was in the bathroom. What were you saying on the
phone? Not good things, clearly,
because it was clearly with a boy that called me at the lake
house. I had been drinking all day so I
was in the bathroom and. Was this like a loving call?
A fighting call? Like what was it?
Was just a little chatty. Were you sex?
Did you get the back? There no, no.
(47:20):
I love sexting. No, Honest.
Yeah, I don't remember the context of the call, but he
never said anything to me about it.
He didn't even barge in or anything.
No, no, I'm telling you, he's calm.
This boy was. Oh, yeah.
Angel. Angel of a person.
And like, even, like, the next day, I was leaving and, like, so
(47:41):
nice to me that that's so embarrassing to know.
Like, looking back that he knew I was in the bathroom talking to
a boy. Yeah, that makes me feel
terrible. Well, you were young.
I was cheating in middle school so.
But that's the thing, I was not cheating on him because we were
not boyfriend and girlfriend. But he did make it very obvious
(48:03):
that he wanted to be my boyfriend.
Yeah, So I drove away that morning feeling so giddy about
the weekend. No, that I just had no, I go to
work. He, he's literally had they told
me before I left. He's like, text me when you get
to work, like blah, blah, blah. He.
Was acting normal. Oh, so normal.
(48:24):
And I text him when I get to work and it's like a few hours
and I don't hear from him. Yeah.
And I just proceeded to continuenot to hear from him.
And I was like, freaking out at that point because I was like,
what the heck? Like a few days went by and I
think I ended up sending him a message ending it.
(48:45):
Yeah, I ended it technically. Yeah.
And at this time, guys, I don't think anyone realizes I was in
denial that I like this boy. Like we had separate, very
separate lives, obviously, but like.
It was a good thing. Too.
Yeah, yeah. We only talked for like maybe a
month or so, but yeah, it was only like a month, but it was
(49:07):
like this. Seemed so much longer.
No, no, no. That's what I'm saying.
It was not serious the night that I ended it, though.
I was sobbing, I was in the bathtub sobbing and I just
remember that so vividly. And I was just like mad at
myself at that point because I was just like, why am I so upset
by this? Like I should not be this upset.
(49:28):
Long, Long story short, this girl that like, basically
introduced me to him chatting one day and I think, like, he
came up in conversation and she told me like, yeah, he found he
heard you on the phone that night.
And I was, and I didn't know formonths.
(49:48):
Yeah. I was like, I was like, wait,
what? And she's the one who told me
that. So he never even confronted me.
Like he let me end it with him. No, revenge is revenge.
Like be a good person and you'llalways come out on top.
A. 1000. Percent being toxic is not worth
it. None of the games are worth it
(50:10):
because like that situation, like taught me something like I
was being the bad person. But like, I grew so much from
that situation and learned so much about like, respecting
yourself and like, you can stillbe kind to someone even if
they're not kind to you. Yeah, good job.
Me after I just revealed the worst.
(50:33):
Things. I don't think it was that crazy
though. My defense, I'm talking about
all the bad things I did, but incollege it was so toxic.
It was so toxic, like the thingsthat men put me through.
Was it? Crazy.
Yeah, it was crazy getting in crazy fights and they're serial
cheaters. Like I'm telling you, I could
(50:54):
like leave their house and they would have a girl over and like
the few hours I was gone, that happened to me.
So like first college I went to,we would have something called J
Term. And so that was like once
Christmas break started, you wouldn't technically go back to
school until like the end of January, if not beginning of
February because yeah, you take like a mini college course in
(51:18):
the span of 3-4 weeks. And so some people would be back
on campus early and it was usually literally like one or
two classes. There was, I think there was a
limit, I don't know, but I just hated not having access to my
dorm or like my own space because they would take your
keys over winter break and sucks.
Yeah. So I would always take AJ term
(51:39):
class because like I didn't wantto stay at home for like 2
months. Damn.
I wanted to run around. I wanted to.
Run around that. Yeah.
Oh, I did not like school that much.
Well, I I took volleyball. Oh yeah.
Oh, you took volleyball as of course.
Yeah, and it. Counts as like AP.
Credit. Wait, PE?
(52:00):
Why do you need PE? At that school we needed.
PE not it still being in the high school.
I swear to God, I swear to God. Wait, that's so funny.
But I would totally take volleyball.
Last semester at that school andI started talking to a boy that
went to the college I transferred to.
So it was like an hour away. And so and I only had this
(52:22):
class, keep in mind, like every other day.
So I think it was like volleyball, yeah.
Every other day, not actually like I couldn't play every other
day, but I feel like it's a lot.It's not like a because it's an
advanced. No, I think it.
And when I say that, I think it was like a Tuesday, Thursday, or
it was a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I can't remember.
They are every other day but like I feel like PE was like
once a week so but like obviously.
(52:43):
Yeah, and it's like a fast trackclub, so.
Like what were the tests in fucking volleyball?
I don't know. And like show up like I think
there might have been a paper test over the rules.
I don't remember. Really were there like there was
no like many tournaments and like a tournament 1 you like
extra? I think the last day of class
(53:05):
there might have been like an actual game where we.
Can wait. You weren't playing games like
every day. No, it was that it was a tech.
Like a technical class. Oh fuck that, I need a
competition. Anyways, it doesn't matter.
It really doesn't, but fuck. I went to this class like twice
a week and so every other day ofthe week I was an hour away in
(53:27):
Martin, TN seeing this. Boy, no.
And this is where your first problem was this.
Is where my first problem? And keep in mind me skipping
away, going to my stupid volleyball class, okay?
Driving back in the span of being in class and driving back
(53:47):
that night, this man was with a whole other girl.
And how did you find this out? One of his friends, one of they
rat it. Oh yeah, they.
They told me it's giving a Southern charm, yeah.
No so the way I found out was sodrama too.
It was his girl best friend at the time.
Oh, this keeps getting. So is this like you're a
sophomore? This is my junior year.
(54:08):
No, Yeah, yeah, Sophomore year. Sophomore year, because it's
right before I transferred. So I came up early one weekend,
obviously like to see him, but like me and her, we're going to
go get dinner, get drinks, whatever and then meet up with
everybody. She told me not only like that
one circumstance, but apparentlythere were a few.
(54:30):
So I'm like fuming obviously. And now I'm like an hour away
and like a drink or two. And so I'm like, and so her
whole thing was like, I'll just stay with her and like, we could
still have our weekend. And she was just like, if you
don't want to talk to him, like whatever, I'm like, well, it's
not going to talk to him. Even though the whole time I was
(54:50):
like, please see him out. Please see.
Him out, I would have crashed. Out last message to him was
like, after he texted me again, was just like, yeah, I think
we're better off as friends. They don't have a problem with
you. I know, you know, I know.
There's no point in fighting about it.
Yeah. It is what it is.
The the plot twist is that same girl called me a few months
(55:11):
later while I was in the libraryand was like, do you have time
to talk? And I was like, yeah, yeah.
Proceeded to tell me that she was now dating the boy.
Why did she call you to? Tell me that she was dating the
boy that she told me was like cheating on me.
Yeah, and why would she call youto tell me?
Because we were friends after that.
Oh, I was just like when she told me that.
(55:32):
I was just like, yeah, OK, OK. That's why I got so immune to
like, people, like girls just like doing me so wrong and stuff
because I was just like, well, Iexpected that.
Like this is not my first go around.
Yeah, that's crazy. I never dealt with that.
Yeah, no, it's so bad I don't trust anything.
(55:53):
Something in your birth chart? No, it is.
Thank you. Full circle, full circle moment
here. What's the placement?
I don't know about the placement.
It's got to be. I don't know what house it is,
but. I haven't written down somewhere
the common themes that I'm supposed to grow from.
Yeah, is being chosen and betrayal.
(56:14):
And I'm like, well, yeah, I've done my fair fucking share of
that, so thank you. I've learned been betrayed a
lot. Yeah, I'm sorry, girl.
It's. OK, but no, I have grown and
healed from it in some ways. I need to work on my trust in
other people now. I think all people are good or
have good intentions for me, butthen that's how I do get burnt a
(56:34):
lot of the time. Yeah, don't assume anything.
Yeah, so especially like with boys and stuff, I always, it
didn't help though when you're living a life like I was like if
I'm in the bathroom calling another boy, why would I assume
that he's doing right by me? You know, you're kind of
projecting. So especially being in that
environment. So now I have done a ton of work
(56:56):
and like I would never in my life to do that.
Like that's just not who I am. But I know that because you have
to put in effort to build that kind of track record with
yourself and never cheated in a relationship.
But yeah, I just think of myselfmore highly now.
And I just now I'm trying to twist that and think like, if I
(57:19):
can do that and I expect that ofmyself, then I expect that of
you too. Boys just are.
They're bored these days and they need to get better, be
better, yeah, But they're the good ones are definitely out
there. There's somewhere.
They are. No, they are.
Don't. Don't fall for the potential.
Don't do it. If he doesn't buy you flowers
when you're dating, what makes you think he's going to do that
(57:40):
when you're like years into a relationship?
Don't be bad about it. Don't, because he's not going to
do it. I don't really care to get
flowers like that. I do let the whole world fucking
know. I want the fucking flowers.
If they like, if they have a good aesthetic, then yes.
Like I don't want an ugly ass flower bouquet.
Like don't put it in there, I should.
Know that about you. Yes, but like I did have, I did
(58:03):
date one guy and he would do thebouquets or whatever.
And it's not their fault that they don't have a good eye like,
you know. But there's things like
florists. That is true.
That is very true. I've been getting into the
(58:24):
flowers lately, so I probably would want to bouquet.
I just want like pretty expensive ones.
Obviously I don't want somethingfrom nasty Kroger.
I'm. So sorry, I don't think the
Kroger flowers. I just like to know that you
thought of me. I don't want the Kroger Klout
flowers at all. At all.
But there's this guy on TikTok that shows men how to make them.
(58:46):
So you just go to Trader Joe's and make them yourself.
So cute, so cute. I don't think I have any closing
thoughts. Just don't be fucking stupid and
get it together everyone. It's crazy out here.
Have self respect, it's the theme.
Is that the theme of the day? Learn about your astrology
(59:06):
chart. Learn about honestly, it's not
even learn about your I mean that, but also learn about
yourself. Learn about yourself.
Get to know you, be you for you.Yeah, just always be yourself no
matter fucking what. Who cares what people think?
Unless it's you're like crazy, then maybe take the V back in.
(59:27):
But it's fine. Just be yourself like no one
gives. Oh crap, I run.
For you because you're judgmental.
OK, Thanks, guys. Bye.
Give us five stars. Love you.
Love you.
We're rolling. We're rolling the tapes now.
The last time you need to put the mic, like right here.
No, I know, but that's what Gracie said the last time.
And then we couldn't even use the footage because we couldn't
hear her. Hello.
Oh my God. See, that's a huge difference.
Hi, Tia. Hi my name is Tia.
Thanks for having me on the bimbo blonde.
(00:24):
Podcast. Everyone keeps calling it the
Bimbo Blonde podcast, and it's because I rebranded once after
launching. What is it called?
Bimbo banter. Bimbo banter.
Yeah, but there's a lot of confusion around that.
And I'll take either. It's fine as long as you just
recognize it's bimbos. So same thing.
(00:45):
I love the word bimbos. Me too, clearly.
But yeah, let's address the elephant not in the room with
us. And that's that.
We have a guest already. I guess I'm the guest.
Welcome. Thanks everyone.
Thank. You.
Well, OK, we have to talk about Jake, at least for the people so
(01:08):
they know he's alive, if you don't already know.
He's alive. I think he got hit on a scooter,
I don't know. You tell him so funny, so funny.
Yeah, Jake had a scooter accident, which it is a good
topic to talk about in Nashvillebecause the scooters are just
running rampant. That's crazy because I feel like
they're running rampant rampant in GR so.
(01:30):
Oh, really? Yes, I love a scooter.
OK, I have also said before thatI want to go ride a scooter just
for fun, not downtown because I know that's infamous for having
wrecks and stuff. I would never want to take super
busy, that's crazy, but that's not so.
Boys listening every time I see a boy on a scooter it doesn't do
(01:53):
anything for you anyway so it's just stop.
That's crazy, I actually haven'tseen anyone really riding.
The scooter, every time I see someone, specifically a man,
it's because they're here visiting and it's a flock of
them on scooters. And I'm like, what made you
think that that was? I don't mind it just because I
(02:15):
love a scooter. I love anything.
I want to say me too electric but I've not rode a scooter
before, but that's because I I don't want to do it downtown.
I want to like go to a park. Yeah.
Like even just around where you live, it would be fun.
Yeah. Yeah.
And the bikes are fun. I did that in Chicago.
(02:38):
Wait, an electric bike? Yeah, an.
Electric bike, that is a move. Like when I went to Charleston,
people were riding them on the beach and that's so smart
because you still get to ride it, but like not put in the
effort, like in the sand and stuff.
Yeah. Wait, were they on the sand?
Yeah. So they had to be like tires?
(02:58):
Are they normal? I don't know.
I don't know how that works. Yeah, I don't know.
Either. That was definitely a thing.
I saw all the people doing that.Charleston's.
I want to go there so bad. Well, you watch Southern Charm.
I. Watch Southern Charm.
Are they in Charleston? They're in Charleston.
I love it. Well, that's true because Craig
has the pillow shop, yes. That's I went the base, yeah.
(03:21):
Now they have one in Nashville. Yeah, we went to that together.
And we didn't stay. People were passing out on the
street because it was hot. Oh yeah, the fire truck came and
we were looking in the window though.
We were like, he looked good. He did look good.
He looked and I've never thoughtthat he was super attractive.
Same but in person I know. We're just so immune to
(03:43):
celebrities and good looking people because of social media.
So you just like and then that'swhere hate comes from and all
the negative comments and criticism.
But then you get humbled really fast when you see them in person
'cause you're like, they're really attractive compared to
all, all the uglies. Well, I'm sorry, but I think
(04:03):
it's also just a Nashville thingor maybe a Tennessee thing, but
they don't know what they're doing here.
There's whole ugly. Oh, the boys.
The boys are so ugly here. Yeah.
Far and few between where you'reseeing someone that's like.
No, I know they're so scary hereand I don't know what that is
either because. It's like they're not groomed.
(04:23):
I don't know. I didn't get the one on a date
with a short king like a week ago and honestly I like a tall
man. Yeah, there's just something
like, oh, you can throw me around.
You're so strong and bigger thanme.
Yeah, there's this man at work. He is like 7, not 7.
Two. That's way too tall.
Scary tall. He's like 6364.
(04:45):
I don't know. I love in love.
Just with the height and his smile.
Wait, is this the one that you kind of were around this weekend
or no? No, this is a new one because I
had to come up with a whole new crush.
She's leaving work crush. Actually, I'll no, I don't.
I have to have a work crush or what am I going for?
I just can't do it. Yeah, I've never had a work
(05:07):
crush. Ever.
I have to make one up like if they're I will find one I will.
Find one. Yeah.
I'm kind of glad though. But I will say, if they wanted
me to come into the office everyday of the week and they wanted
me to look more presentable, hire some good looking people, I
don't know. Yeah.
Because the way I show up to work sometimes no.
(05:29):
Yeah, I would show up to work. No, I do the things I wear and
the way I look. Sometimes I look at myself and
I'm like, oh, I went in public like this.
That's crazy. I But you wore heels to work.
I never wore heels to work. Yeah, that's true.
Well, if I didn't have to, I wouldn't.
Well, no one's ever told me I have to.
Yeah, I. Don't have to, office clothes
(05:51):
are just so hard because I don'twant to feel like, I don't know,
unprofessional. But then, like in typical
professional clothes, I feel so ugly in general.
So I guess actually I've never had a real corporate job, so I
probably would be wearing heels.Like you actually work downtown
and have like a real job. Well, I don't.
(06:11):
You act like you never. Well, yeah, I guess your job
before the last one, even thoughyour last job was office job,
one before that was not an office job.
No, I think the closest thing would be Lee and Burch.
And I did look cute, but that was.
Clothing fun. No.
Yeah. See, my last corporatey job
before this one, like, we had business casual, but it was
(06:37):
dress for your day. Like you could wear jeans and
sneakers if you wanted to. So that that to me is harder
than just setting a uniform. Yeah, I wear corporate versus
wear like business casual. Business casual is so many
things and. That's true.
Some people would wear like they're just normal clothes
because they're just, they're just, they always dress
(06:59):
appropriate. I guess I couldn't wear my
normal. Clothes to work.
I am something to say. OK one time this girl at work
she got called out for wearing her uggs to work and so she wore
heels every day since and then so like it's so funny.
So she would literally wear heels but like not you.
Her hair and makeup in one day Courtney was like no makeup, no
(07:20):
hair but heels are on and it wasso funny.
Because like, you're wearing thewhole.
The whole thing but like your hair and makeup isn't done and
it just doesn't match whatsoever.
Like. You could have put on a sneaker,
you could have put on a little mule, and she has the cutest
stamp. Edelman mules so you don't need
to wear a heel every day, babe. I mean she really ran with
(07:41):
proving her point though, so respected.
That is true, That is true. But.
I kind of did that on accident one time.
I had some like not uggs they were just some boot looking
slippers for sure and someone was definitely talking ish about
me. This is at my old job because I
wore like slippers to wear. I was like OK none of you guys
dress up though. So like This is why we need some
guidelines. Or were they like they had some?
(08:03):
Hard bottoms, OK, they were just.
But did they like look cute withthe elf?
I thought so. I was wearing like a teddy type
sweater with. Jeans like.
Fine, they all get matched. Yeah, it's just.
Cuz they were like Teddy. Cuz that's the same exact thing
that happened to me. I wore mine out of the house.
But they didn't get it. They.
Didn't get it and was like this is cute with the outfit you
(08:25):
don't understand. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, they just don't get it.
Where have you been recently andwhat do you like in Nashville
right now? I love Benji's bagels right now.
OK, I've been there, attempted twice and the line has been so
long every time that I've left no I've.
Left well that the line is long for clearly a reason.
(08:47):
Yeah, but each time has been like when I was not well.
That makes sense. I probably actually I will stick
it out. I will stick it out for some
food. I'm a fat back to a tea.
But you guys Bengies bagels go on a weekday.
You you work from home. Like you can make it there on a
weekday random time of the day. There was no line.
(09:09):
Did you get coffee too? Do they have?
Coffee. Yes we do.
When I try a new place I get my same order.
Iced tea, almond milk, honey. Iced tea, Sorry.
Iced latte. Oh, OK.
Iced latte with almond milk, honey, cinnamon, caramel.
That's what I got. And then the bagel I got though
(09:29):
was so good because I got a cheddar, jalapeno bagel,
scallion, cream cheese, bacon, egg, bacon, egg and cheese.
Scallion scare me. I'm not picky either, I swear.
Love Mexican these days? Yeah, I could eat that for every
meal. Breakfast too.
Those are my two favorite foods is like Mexican and breakfast.
(09:49):
I'm not really a Big Breakfast girl because I don't love eggs,
but have you been liking in Nashville?
Well it's funny you say that because the last time on the pod
I was talking about Super Rica or Superica.
However, the people are saying it these days.
It's Super Rica. Thank you.
Thank you. If you listen to the last one,
then you'll get it. But we were talking about it
because again, my two favorite foods, Mexican and breakfast.
(10:12):
So I was like, put them together.
I didn't even know they had brunch.
Me neither until recently, but yeah, me and Tia went to brunch
at Superica on Sunday and I wantto say it lived up to my dreams.
But the pancake was amazing. It was really, really good.
(10:32):
I just think we had a bad service day, but it was also
Mother's Day so cut them some slack.
Barcelona wine bar. I'm not loving it lately because
I haven't been in a while, but that's hands down my favorite
restaurant in Nashville. Favorite restaurant?
Yeah, absolutely. Oh, that's very interesting.
(10:52):
It's OK, I like it, but it's not.
It's OK vibes, ambiance fun variety like drinks and I just
especially for a date. I haven't been on a date there.
Yeah, that's. True, but.
Like that way he's not like ordering for you.
(11:12):
I wouldn't mind that. Depending on like how it's done.
Yeah, don't pick an entree for me.
But like, if you're no. But if someone's like ordering
for the table moment, like that's literally perfect.
Yeah, because I don't want to use my brain.
Don't ask me what I want. Yeah, I just, everyone's always
talking about how fun it is and I've they ever, I never really
see the people pouring the wine down grow that often and like
(11:35):
the dancing on the tables or something.
I don't. Know guys?
Apparently they pour wine down here.
And I've only seen that. Like twice place too.
I've never seen it actually. It was so my favorite place.
We did do that for Cindy's birthday, but I will.
That's so fun. No, the ambience is really nice.
It is a Yeah. Nice.
Place. It is a good place.
Yeah. You were asking me about the
topic of today and one of my things was mini crash outs.
(12:02):
I don't know if people are talking about this or not but
I'm trying to be in my peaceful non stress era and be a better
person alone I guess but I'm coping through a mini crash out.
I think we all like have heard about crashing out and how I
(12:23):
coped earlier this week is I wasvery stressed and wound up and
then I just like let myself crash the fuck out and get out
of my system. What does that look like for
you? We don't.
Need to go into those details. Everyone wants to know the
details. I don't know, just like yell a
little bit, I don't know, slam things around and curse under
(12:44):
your breath. Under the breath, OK.
I don't know, maybe I'm just trying to make it sound like
more fueling than it is. At times things catch up to me
and then I'm not in a good mood so.
But then I feel so guilty for being upset.
Yeah, but why? Because I want to be in a good
food. Yeah, I want to be a peaceful
(13:05):
person. So when I feel myself.
Yeah, that makes a lot of sense for you.
But I feel like you're the type of person where you put on
something where, but it's like you just need to let out.
Like no one gives a fuck. Yeah, but you give a fuck.
But I'm telling you, no one gives a fuck.
Yeah, I guess I do do that with my friends too.
Like I'm not really talking about how I really feel because
(13:27):
I'm trying to be positive. But like no offense but people
can read shit and like tell so it's like but.
That's The thing is I think I'm like hiding it well.
Yeah, but it's OK, But I also think I'm intrudive, so maybe
other people aren't. That's also true.
It's like, I feel like maybe some that's for anybody.
(13:48):
If you don't know someone well, you can't tell if they're
stressed or yeah, how they feel.But yeah, I get so surprised
when someone calls me out. I'm like, wait, you could tell.
Yeah, but I think people are more intuitive than they think,
and they do. Know so true because I can also
read other people very well or like sense like if they're upset
I crashed out and then afterwards I was like I'm better
(14:08):
now good. I kind of, that's kind of crazy.
Oh yeah, I'm better now. But that's how I, no, I'm
accepting it. So I'm like let's like maybe
brand that and like make it a cute thing or something.
That way I don't have to feel bad.
I can just like be stressed, crash the fuck out for like 5
minutes and then just accept it and be like, OK, I'm still
peaceful. I just had to get it out of my
(14:29):
system. Yeah, it's a mini crash out.
A mini crash out. Yeah, well, how are your crash
outs? What do they look like?
I are they mine? I think I just go through dark
brooding moments by myself but. Huh.
Your crash out is not mini at all.
I think you have a crash out arc.
(14:50):
Yeah, I just go inward completely and hibernate.
That's what I do. But The funny thing is, it's not
dramatic. I just sometimes I need to just
be alone but it sounds terrible but I in so many different
(15:11):
readings and just my chart alonesay you are the type of person
you need to be like sit alone and sometimes it will be wait.
What's your moon? I'm a Libra moon.
But see, I'm Libra, I think I have a Libra moon.
Do you have a Libra moon? I can't.
Remember. Yeah, I do.
But I also I have like. A and I'm a Virgo rising.
(15:35):
I don't. Know Virgo's my favorite sign,
everyone. Everybody says that.
I love Virgos, I really do love a Virgo.
Yeah, that's such a thing. I don't know.
Yeah. Do you guys like Virgos?
Let us know. Yeah.
But yeah, I go just through it and I just need to be alone and
not talk to people for sure. Maybe, I mean, I think that just
(15:57):
like looks a little different for me because I it's the same
thought process at least, but I just am not good at it.
Yeah, because and that's OK. I think I go through that in
many waves through the day or every other day, sometimes even
with social media. I'm, like, blowing up my story
all day every day one day or then like the next.
(16:18):
I'm deleting everything. Like, I don't want anyone to
know what I'm doing. I'm just like, that was so
embarrassing. Yeah.
And it's just a constant wave. I do have many crash outs like
that where I will delete Snapchat or Instagram for like a
fucking day and I'm like, that was literally so stupid.
You'd obviously want to see what's going on.
(16:40):
Be fucking for real. I do that too though.
It's like, Oh my God. And like, then I'll be like,
this is the last time I'm ever doing that.
So childish. But it's less about me and I
just feel like bogged down by other people's perceptions and
like energy and stuff. I'm like, I just want to turn it
all off. Yeah, you said perceptions.
(17:01):
I feel like you hear a lot of people think I could never give
a fuck like in. Some ways I do, but clearly, but
in other ways I really don't. I don't know, it just depends.
I think I care less about like an individual person versus like
an overall perception of like what I'm putting out.
(17:21):
Yeah, but I don't. Yeah.
But I feel and I think that it connects with you not showing
what's going on. Yeah, it's like, no.
One gives a fuck. Just 100 like 110 everyone 100
and 1010% be your fucking center.
Is this is like part of my arc right now?
My personal arc, that's not shadow work, but like I kind of
(17:43):
been, I kind of know that I'm doing that also.
It is a shadow work I feel. It is.
That's very true. Like go on.
But I've been learning about this because Libra moon it your
moon in general is who you are inside and like your inner world
versus your sun is what the restof the world sees.
(18:04):
So my Aries is like very can be out there and bubbly and social
whatever fiery. But then like my I have such
like a deep inner world and I'm not always showing like my
millions of thoughts that are going on.
So then I do crash out sometimesand I'm like, OK, I got to turn
it all off because that's not like how I feel right now.
Yeah. So yeah, not to go All Star
(18:28):
signee, but if you get me and Tia together, we're going to do.
That I do love astrology. Yeah, me too.
It's so and. Tarot cards.
Guys we're which is I'm not, I don't think, Tia.
I don't, I don't know if I am, but I do think I have certain
gifts. I don't know.
(18:49):
But I also just, I don't know. I could.
I couldn't. I'm trying to.
You could. Yeah, you could pick, I feel
like whether you wanted to. Pursue it more or like really go
more. And yeah, because I also, I
always, I've always said I was 1010% Cupid in the past life.
And my Co worker, he would always be sick and I would
(19:12):
always know like, oh, Colin's not coming in today.
And he finally like when I was going to leave, he was like,
yeah, I wasn't actually sick. I was love sick.
And I'm like, Oh my God, that's crazy.
Like I just, I just know. Tia.
Says something. Watch out, that's how I feel.
Also another thing, like I feel like I have this like I don't
know if it's a thing of jinxing myself.
(19:35):
Remember I go Emmy's not moving until she gets a job.
Like 2 days later she is announcing she has a job.
I'm like, wait that. Can you do that for me?
I like. Money.
All the at the time, like I literally will say something
just so something else happens because I have the power of
Jinx. I swear to God I don't know what
it is. I like to understand what's
(19:56):
happening all the time and even like with other.
People, I think that's like the Libra thing because I do too.
Like I need to know everything. I want to know everything.
And I'm trying to like figure out like, why are you really
like that? Or like I need to know?
That's the thing, people hate onit so much and they don't even
give it a chance. But like what astrology?
Yeah, just. Like oh I don't trust anyone
that doesn't believe in astrology.
(20:17):
I don't trust any like I don't think you have to know
everything or like. Not that, but if you don't even
try to like want to believe or like think, it could be real.
Then you're weird. Yeah.
Then we feel the same. Because if you're open minded or
you don't care, I would rather you not care then like be
against it. Yeah, I don't be like, oh, it's
just not right or like not believing in God's also crazy me
(20:39):
like be open minded like just towrite it off like.
That's like people that are atheists.
Like I don't I truly don't care what religion you are or what
you believe in, but to just write yourself off as an atheist
and believe in nothing, that to me rubs just rubs me the wrong
way. It's not even offensive against
my own faith and beliefs, but it's just like.
Something. Yeah, I believe in something.
(21:00):
Even if it is only astrology, atleast you have something going
on. Something, I don't know, my
neighbors like that. That's when I lost my crash.
I said, Oh my God, you believe in nothing.
That's weird. And especially if I want to talk
about it, I mean, not to try to make this all about boys, but if
their first reaction is like, even on like online, they're
(21:20):
like, oh, if you're an astrologygirl, like, blah, blah, blah.
OK guys, I'm not in my room withthe crystal ball, even though I
wish I had one. That'd be so cool.
I'm kidding. What is the next topic?
I'm scared. OK, I can't make this whole
thing about dating so now we'll talk about the dating The next
(21:43):
little chicken scratch I had wasfake boyfriends.
We're doing a lot of rebranding.We're we're business women today
on this pod because rebranding the crash out to be cute and
mini and yeah, OK, and now to rebranding like a situation
ship. Yeah, because that's the same
(22:05):
thing with hot girl summer. I think I've said that before of
I hate the connotation. It just needs to rebrand.
So I said So what? Flirty fun?
Like flirty fun is cute. I love flirting.
Fun and just shows that you're down to do things, but like
doesn't mean you're going to be a.
(22:25):
Whore or it doesn't. It doesn't give like Cheeto das
I'm. Celibate these days.
Help. I don't know.
Take that out. No, I like actually want to be
celibate I think. But I love a date and I love
flirting and I. Like the idea of a date?
Yeah, I love an idea. I went to the virgin rooftops
for a day. Oh, how on brand the Virgin
(22:47):
rooftops. Yeah, but I did fuck him that
night. Oh, so you're starting over?
I'm starting over. It did it because I hadn't in a
while and I couldn't remember the last time I had had done it.
And I just wanted to know the date was this.
This was like a week ago or a two weeks.
Oh, like a week. Yeah, like last week.
(23:07):
I think I'm wearing his chain right now.
What talk? About not jinxing, yeah.
What do you mean? Is it like a voodoo doll?
Oh no, I just wanted to take a picture of me wearing it, but I
do. Like it?
Does he know you have it? Yeah, I sent it to him.
Obviously, that's why I took a picture.
OK, but I was. Gonna say that's what he gets
(23:28):
for having a girl on the. Was it your first date?
It was our first date. Yeah, I was gonna say that's on
him for that. He didn't know if you steal or.
Not Oh no, I don't steal. That's.
I I'm not saying you do, I'm just saying that's what boys get
for not being more responsible and keeping it in their pants.
I think he left it on purpose. Oh.
(23:50):
He was trying to be Cinderella. I think he was trying to be
Cinderella because he was. So he loves you?
Well, no, but. He wants to see you again.
He does. He did.
He was like, I'm going to be in your neighborhood tonight, but
I'm not going to see him. Will you see him again?
Well, I got to give him his necklace back.
Yeah. So I will see him again.
I mean, you don't have to. I don't have to, but I'm going
(24:12):
to give his necklace back. Yeah, she's not a thief, guys.
Yeah, we're getting off topic. I have to get back to the fake
boyfriends. Oh, what was the fake?
Boyfriend OK, OK, OK. I really like this idea because
same thing with situation ships.We're rebranding here.
I think it's totally fine to date and want to hang out with
(24:33):
somebody and have a connection and whatever because you
shouldn't burn bridges either. But I'm not defending myself
here guys, I'm just saying. The difference is for it, it
works when people they they're not catching the motherfucking
feelings. No, no, no, I'm not talking
(24:54):
about feelings at all because I think you can like, like your
fake boyfriend. You should like whoever you're
hanging out with. I'm saying the difference is the
respect and the dynamic because like I have friends that and
I've done this in the past too. If I'm giving an example about
something, I'm not Miss Angel orPerfect, OK, I've done it.
(25:15):
I'm not giving advice blindly orwhatever.
OK, now I've got that out of theway.
Like I've had a situation beforewhere it was like super toxic
and like maybe I liked him at one point more, he liked me at
one point more, but like it was just like not healthy and not
respectful. And I feel that way with some of
(25:38):
my girlfriends is they have thisflirty fun thing and maybe it's
not even someone they talk to onthe daily, but like see every
once in a while. But the guy is just so
disrespectful. And I'm like, see, I can support
you going back to somebody or like, occasionally having a
little sleepover with a boy. Yeah, if they're respectful.
(26:03):
And like, I think that's what a fake boyfriend is like, you
know, one of my previous fake boyfriends I can't get too, too
clear about. But I will say if I had a
sleepover, he took me to breakfast and drove me home in
(26:24):
the morning. That is nice.
That's a fake boyfriend and whenI would leave he would say OK
text me and be like of course bye.
And then I wouldn't text him. Oh, and but like, that's just
like how it was. Yeah, and you're fine with that?
Yeah. And I think anybody like some
people might be like, oh, that'sa situation ship.
(26:46):
And I'm like, but it's it's really not.
Yeah, I would call that the people you're like, well, I
guess see you're not ever going to date.
Yeah, it's a very thin line. And no, I wouldn't date him and
he wouldn't date me clearly. Like, I feel like, you know,
within a month's time, less thanthat.
But yeah, I think I think stuff like that is OK, Like it's
(27:07):
healthy. And I think it's healthy.
It's like if you were in public.I mean, I would so call people
you're dating. Yeah, I guess that's what I'm
saying. It's a fake boyfriend.
Yeah, cuz in public someone might think your boyfriend
girlfriend and that's how it should be.
It shouldn't be some toxic situation ship where he's like
sneaking you out the door and like texting you terrible things
(27:28):
and making you cry and all that kind of stuff.
Those types of men we need to bully.
Yeah, sorry, that is the behavior I just like won't put
up with from my friends like at that point that because like I'm
not trying to be a hypocrite when I'm like OK, I'm going to
go see this boy that doesn't want to date me, but like.
Everyone be strong. Yeah.
(27:48):
And I would just like to be clear, I haven't done that in a
long, long time. Good job.
Thank you. Thank you.
I already knew you were going tohave topics.
Yeah, I do. The first one is about identity.
Identity. It started because there's a
trend right now with the butterfly effect.
(28:10):
Have you seen all those? I've seen them all but like it's
because they were all doing themwrong.
Yeah, they were. They were, but it started with
that for me because me and Ashlyn had this conversation in
San Diego because we were walking the beach.
It was a beautiful sunset and we're like all sappy and stuff.
And we're like, it's so crazy that we're here right now.
(28:31):
And one of those. And then I just kind of started
going down the trail of like howme and Ashlyn even met and like.
Is that a butterfly effect? I I mean, and just everything
leading up to it, yeah, just me moving to Nashville and the
things that had to happen to getme there and like how I even got
connected to that friend group. So, yeah, we were having one of
(28:53):
those moments. And it's just crazy to think
about how everything leading up to where you are right now on
purpose. When I am having a sad time or
I'm stressed about what the heckI'm doing, I'm just like, OK
well I've clearly felt this way in the past and I'm always
grateful for the way it turns out regardless.
(29:16):
Because even if it's bad things,I learned something through it
and became better. Everything happens for a reason.
Yeah, What's your craziest butterfly effect?
I think moving here was the mostbutterfly effect as I was
working at Lee and Burch and my friend just so happened to come
(29:40):
in to Lee and Burch that day. Her flight got delayed.
And the second I saw her becauseshe's going to come into
Nashville, and the second I saw her as like, oh, I know I'm
going to be going to Nashville with her.
She ended up coming to my house and then I went with her to
Nashville. And that's How I Met Max.
And then I got my job because hewas like, oh, what are you
(30:03):
doing? Like blah, blah, blah.
And I moved to Nashville. Yeah.
So I feel like that's. A flight getting delayed?
That's pretty butterfly. I feel like that's the most
butterfly effect for me. Like we're in similar but
different spots right now in a place where we want growth and
change. I don't think it's a bad thing
to say what you want out loud, but unless you're like, you're
(30:26):
one of us to like to keep things.
I am, yeah. I am.
Yeah. I don't like to talk about my
hopes and dreams. But maybe.
I I believe in evil eye though. That's true, so maybe I should.
OK, that's going back to me freaking out about my social
media sometimes and just be likeOK, I need to turn my location
off. I need to be private on
everything. I don't want anyone to know what
(30:47):
I'm doing because I just feel like I get like the perception
is like judgement but. People are going to be judging.
No, I know that's The thing is like I always snap out of it and
then I'm like back to being likeposting too much, oversharing,
whatever. I'm just like psychoanalyzing
myself right now. I mean that's social media.
(31:07):
One O 1 is you post what you want people to believe and see
versus like what you're actuallydoing or going through.
So I think sometimes what I put out there is not how I actually
feel inside. So then I freak out about it or,
like, stressed. And I'm just like, OK, I'm not
proud of that. Or like, yeah, I don't know.
Like I had one of the twins tellme one time.
(31:29):
Yeah. It was one of the first times I
think someone, like, really humbled me in this aspect
because it wasn't a weird transition period of me, like,
going back and forth from Nashville to home.
When I first moved, he called meout and he was just.
Like one of the twins, yeah. OK, Do you have the kid thing?
Yeah. What are they doing?
And we just talked about everything.
(31:50):
So I felt like he really knew meas a person and too much.
And he said to me, I just feel like who?
Like, what you post on social media isn't like you at all.
He's like, yeah. He's like, if I looked at your
social media, I would know. Not like, nothing like I would
completely misjudge you. Not like that I was posting
(32:12):
anything bad necessarily, but just that I wasn't coming
through authentically. I do judge but like I know I
don't know them so it's like I wouldn't.
What do you mean you judge? Oh, I'm Judge, I'm AI mean.
I think Oliver goes judge. Sorry, I would.
Not think I'm judgmental at all.Though you're you don't judge at
all. No.
(32:32):
Oh, I judge hard or, but I don'tcare at the end of the day.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. If that judgment's not the right
word. But we just know every single
thing. Or like what you could be doing
better or some shit like that. Like they also just want you to
be your best. Oh, OK.
Yeah, yeah, no, I do want that for people, Yeah.
But I don't think that, see, I'mnot just outspoken enough to
(32:55):
ever come like come off like andjust say yeah, yeah.
If someone generally came to me and asked, sure.
But I feel like people, if they really want better, they'll do
better because you can tell people all day advice and give
them ideas and they're not goingto do it.
Yeah. Sometimes it takes just the
right person, but it normally isjust like you thing like you
(33:16):
need to want to be better for yourself I.
Don't know. See now I'm thinking about this.
The only people that I feel likeI'm 110% like, super honest and
harsh with is my family. And then like my best friend
Kyle, like we go at each other'sthroats sometimes, but it's just
because I know we can do better.So when you say it like that,
(33:40):
yeah, I can be judgmental and weget in tips all the time, but
it's because we're so blatantly honest with each other and I'm
just like, oh, that's stupid. My parents with threat and to
send me to public school. Oh my God, leave me be.
I don't want. To get that threat to and then
it really is the best thing in my life.
So yeah. Thank God they well, thank God
they didn't send me, but thank God they sent you.
(34:02):
No, thank God they sent me. Oh my God, if my parents didn't
send me to public school I'd probably be off in a church
right now wearing this shirt like no lie.
That would be crazy. I really am dying to tour the
nunnery right by my house. That's what we should do.
No, that gives me creepy vibes. I wonder if they have good food
(34:25):
in there. I feel like they have a private
shed. What do you need?
Do nuns live like that? I don't know.
I don't know they're. Supposed to be like humble and.
But they could, I mean whenever we went to retreats we had AI
mean not like a chef like a cook.
So like I'm assuming they would have a private?
Shop in every Catholic Church. Are there nuns?
(34:46):
I mean, yeah. I mean, they belong to a
diocese, I'm pretty sure. And they're not always at like
church, but we have them teachers at our school.
It's so interesting. But they definitely are at every
diocese, I'm sure, doing their little work, I don't know,
(35:08):
volunteering. I don't like, you know you
don't. Volunteer with them one day.
Could you imagine that'd be so fun?
I need to go to the nunnery, that is for damn sure I'm going
to go. Roll up there and see me.
I could see that they would loveyou.
I don't know what it is. Every type of group of people
love me and I know the Internet probably won't, but I don't
(35:28):
know. What it Why would you say that?
I don't know, I just feel like Iam too abrasive, weird and
crazy. Loves that.
I don't know. I feel like in general you
would. No, no, that's not true.
I think if anything, like in person, maybe no, that's a lie.
Maybe it isn't. I don't think it's the Internet
(35:50):
as a whole. I think it's maybe just niches,
I don't know. Yeah, different niches.
I mean, we have to be on the right side of TikTok for me,
baby. But I don't know, people love me
and I get baffled by it all the time when I meet them and people
when when I talk to people in person, they just like fall in
love. And I'm like, Oh my God, like I
don't. I'm just standing here.
(36:10):
See, I don't know, OK, I don't ever.
I don't get that reaction. I think really I'm really good
at first impressions, I think. And then after that, I'm
definitely, people are either like a fan or they're not.
And I don't know why or like what pans out from that, but
that's always happened to me. Really.
Yeah, In the first college I went to, I had this conversation
(36:32):
today with somebody. I was like, I was such a
controversial person because they're going to this person I
talked to today is going to a wedding that like is from that
college. And I was like, well, if you
want to be liked and have a goodnight, do not bring up me as a
conversation piece or like, like, Oh yeah, I know her like.
That's crazy. I was like, well, I it was read
(36:55):
the room and the environment, but like that college was
Christian, private and like super strict and I got in
trouble very early on and so I was just labeled like a bad kid
and so not in. College.
Yeah, in college. Wait, So what?
I'm pretty sure we've had this. Why did you go to this college
again? My.
Parents said that they would payfor it.
(37:16):
Oh my God. Oh my God.
I lasted 2 years and then I was like I can't do this anymore.
So when you transferred, did they pay for that?
They definitely helped me but like oh.
So do you have student loans? No, no, no, like they, they paid
for tuition, which is like your school, sure, but like when I
(37:37):
was not living on campus and hadrent and had to pay food and
like all literally every other expense that like I would have
had paid if I stayed at the other school.
Yeah, it's still, I worked like 2 jobs.
Good job. But yeah, just because I had the
reputation of being in trouble. I think that that was very
situational though. So this is an example.
(37:59):
But yeah, I feel like if you asked anybody, it would be 5050.
I think people would either be like, oh, I love her, or it
would be like. Yeah, well, now I guess.
I don't know. I feel like most people are
like, oh, she's funny. Like she's cool.
What? We have all the same friends
ish. Yeah, but I wouldn't even that
bigger group, I don't talk to anybody so.
(38:20):
Me. I talk to them, but they don't
talk to me. I've given up.
Yeah, I think they're nice, but.Choose people that choose you
guys. Exactly.
Yeah, I guess so much now. It's not really like you're not
(38:40):
in a sword here school for the general population to decide,
but that's true. I will say I've never met
someone that I disliked or like,found out that they disliked me
and then in turn been like upsetabout it because I'm like, yeah,
I dislike you too. So, well, that's good.
The feeling's mutual. I think.
(39:01):
I guess I mean more like just random people.
Yeah, I don't know. But I don't know either now.
I don't know if people like me or not.
Fuck, I thought. So I I think people like you.
I do too. But I'm like but I do have
fields fan ever so. I just think I'm.
Just like you're weird. I call people weird all the
(39:21):
time. I just think I'm just neutral.
Like I'm just here. Like I think that's how I also
see myself. Like I'm just here.
I'm nothing that crazy. Like I'm just neutral in this
storyline. Have you ever had like falling
outs with people though? That's the thing I did with one
person, one person ever. And I feel like that's a good
thing. Like falling outs are not for.
(39:42):
I've had so many. Fall outs, like girl, I don't
know how, like just sit down. I'm just sitting here.
OK, like not to not to play the victim, but I was the victim in
every single fallout. No, no, no.
OK, OK, OK. There are two off the top of my
(40:03):
head that I take full responsibility.
For at least you took some taking responsibility.
For I do because OK I had a girlbest friend in college and I
just went through a string of friendships in college trying to
figure myself out. I guess where like they just,
(40:24):
they just wanted to sleep with every person that I ever cared
about. And I don't know why that was a
theme, but I could knock it awayfrom it.
And even after college, I don't know what the, it must be like
West Tennessee, like it's a cesspool over there.
And yeah, so I kept going through that over and over
(40:45):
again. But I did have a really good
girl best friend like made junior of college.
What happened to her? So that's what I'm taking
responsibility porn he's like. So we we had like a little group
at the beginning, like of that summer going into junior year,
(41:05):
and then it fell apart because one of the girls slept with the
boy that I was talking to. And so it was a big drama, like
shit show, as you can imagine. And so she was like with me when
I found out. And so she at the time arguably
was closer to the other girl, but she was with me when like
(41:29):
the whole thing blew up. And then she's also just such a
kind good person that she was just like, you know, her
conscience. She would never be like besties
with that person because something similar happened to
her to like her long term boyfriend, blah, blah, blah.
Yeah, we got super close after that.
We had to stick together becausewe were like bye bye from that
group. We were discarded.
(41:52):
And yeah, so she was great. And she like was such a good
friend to me. Like I get super stressed and
overwhelmed as we know that thenthat was a thing in college too.
And I talked about organizing onhere the last time and my living
space is a direct reflection of my mind and my mental space.
(42:13):
So in college one time I like had told her I was just so
overwhelmed and I was just like,everything's a mess like blah,
blah, blah. Like I just can't think
straight, whatever. And I came home from working
super late one time and she had like a gift basket on my bed and
like cleaned my entire space andorganized.
My closet I would never. No, I know she was such a.
(42:35):
Good person. Such a good person, but yeah, I
ruined that in hindsight. And what did you do?
I didn't do anything to her. She's like, why do we always
have to like be around other people?
Why do we have to like be in themix?
Essentially you're. Like be in the.
Mix go out and I would just dragher like I was on the go
constantly and I would just likeshe was my sidekick.
(42:57):
I'd just be like let's go, let'sgo, let's go.
And she was just, I kind of wore.
Her Where does she live now? Back in West Tennessee, yeah,
we've definitely we talked sincethen.
Like like the final fight was after her birthday, sadly, like
I so sad. Yeah, the final fight was after
her birthday. She got upset at me for
(43:19):
something. I feel like you're not
remembering a lot of things. We want the juicy details.
Down. She was very sensitive about
boys. There was a boy.
Of course there was a boy involved.
OK and there was this one boy that she went to high school
with at her birthday party and where we flirting, Yes, but like
she never got pissed. No, she wasn't pissed about
that's the thing. It wasn't about him.
(43:41):
It was just the fact that I was at her birthday flirting with a
boy. Wait, her birthday Flirting
with. No, she just knew him.
Her birthday. Yes, it was her birthday and she
was mad that like I was having this flirty thing at her
birthday but that's why I was upset back at her is because I
was like why are we fighting about this like sorry that I was
(44:01):
at your 21st like flirting with a boy anyways, so.
This was What grade is this like?
Junior year, Yeah, this is junior year.
I just, like, never really followed up.
And then we just did, like, did not speak for months, no issues.
We're just like, different people doing different things.
And I mean, she's literally, I think, married now.
(44:22):
They love getting married young.Yeah, they do in the South, but
yeah, that was probably the one situation where I'm like, okay,
that was a falling out with somebody I was really close to.
And. I could have probably done more
to also resolve it, but I didn'tso.
Yeah. That one is sad and then the
second one I'm fine now guys, I promise.
(44:43):
But for years I was like damn, Ifumble.
I did him like really wrong I. Do I know?
Him no, no, no, this is in college like call her daddy era
like I was just like life is just being so evil to these boys
(45:04):
and I think the thing was like. When was it because of the call
her daddy? I dated a boy for like 5 years
and. Was you say you were just wild
enough? Yeah, pretty much.
And I also was pretty fucking ugly growing up, so I was a cute
kid. I was a cute kid.
But once they turned 12, it was downhill from there.
Yeah. So I met this one boy and he was
(45:27):
total sweetheart. Whatever.
But the thing was when I like normally you meet a nice boy,
you're just like sick of them orlike can run all over them
because they just are too obsessed with you.
This one was kind of different because like we just had a
strong friendship off the bat. Like he had a boat and he was
just super fun and that helped also, not the boat.
(45:50):
I know, I know. But I think I was just like, so
caught up. I was so caught up in this world
of like, oh, he's super sweet. Like we get along so well.
We do fun things all the time. Yeah.
And so I just like, he was also younger than me, so ran very
separate circles. And so I how?
Much younger, 2 years. I don't know what it is about
(46:12):
someone younger that's so. Weird, now I don't think I could
ever talk to anyone younger thanme.
It was so nice. Like all the good things were
there for me in that situation and that's why I beat myself up
so long after the fact is because he literally like
overheard me on the phone one night doing what?
(46:37):
Calling a boy. You were sleeping, having a
sleepover, and you call another boy.
OK. And you thought he wouldn't
hear? OK, so you paint the picture.
I was staying at his lake house.I'm confessing.
I know this is all so bad. I would never do this now.
(46:58):
I think I was in the bathroom. What were you saying on the
phone? Not good things, clearly,
because it was clearly with a boy that called me at the lake
house. I had been drinking all day so I
was in the bathroom and. Was this like a loving call?
A fighting call? Like what was it?
Was just a little chatty. Were you sex?
Did you get the back? There no, no.
(47:20):
I love sexting. No, Honest.
Yeah, I don't remember the context of the call, but he
never said anything to me about it.
He didn't even barge in or anything.
No, no, I'm telling you, he's calm.
This boy was. Oh, yeah.
Angel. Angel of a person.
And like, even, like, the next day, I was leaving and, like, so
(47:41):
nice to me that that's so embarrassing to know.
Like, looking back that he knew I was in the bathroom talking to
a boy. Yeah, that makes me feel
terrible. Well, you were young.
I was cheating in middle school so.
But that's the thing, I was not cheating on him because we were
not boyfriend and girlfriend. But he did make it very obvious
(48:03):
that he wanted to be my boyfriend.
Yeah, So I drove away that morning feeling so giddy about
the weekend. No, that I just had no, I go to
work. He, he's literally had they told
me before I left. He's like, text me when you get
to work, like blah, blah, blah. He.
Was acting normal. Oh, so normal.
(48:24):
And I text him when I get to work and it's like a few hours
and I don't hear from him. Yeah.
And I just proceeded to continuenot to hear from him.
And I was like, freaking out at that point because I was like,
what the heck? Like a few days went by and I
think I ended up sending him a message ending it.
(48:45):
Yeah, I ended it technically. Yeah.
And at this time, guys, I don't think anyone realizes I was in
denial that I like this boy. Like we had separate, very
separate lives, obviously, but like.
It was a good thing. Too.
Yeah, yeah. We only talked for like maybe a
month or so, but yeah, it was only like a month, but it was
(49:07):
like this. Seemed so much longer.
No, no, no. That's what I'm saying.
It was not serious the night that I ended it, though.
I was sobbing, I was in the bathtub sobbing and I just
remember that so vividly. And I was just like mad at
myself at that point because I was just like, why am I so upset
by this? Like I should not be this upset.
(49:28):
Long, Long story short, this girl that like, basically
introduced me to him chatting one day and I think, like, he
came up in conversation and she told me like, yeah, he found he
heard you on the phone that night.
And I was, and I didn't know formonths.
(49:48):
Yeah. I was like, I was like, wait,
what? And she's the one who told me
that. So he never even confronted me.
Like he let me end it with him. No, revenge is revenge.
Like be a good person and you'llalways come out on top.
A. 1000. Percent being toxic is not worth
it. None of the games are worth it
(50:10):
because like that situation, like taught me something like I
was being the bad person. But like, I grew so much from
that situation and learned so much about like, respecting
yourself and like, you can stillbe kind to someone even if
they're not kind to you. Yeah, good job.
Me after I just revealed the worst.
(50:33):
Things. I don't think it was that crazy
though. My defense, I'm talking about
all the bad things I did, but incollege it was so toxic.
It was so toxic, like the thingsthat men put me through.
Was it? Crazy.
Yeah, it was crazy getting in crazy fights and they're serial
cheaters. Like I'm telling you, I could
(50:54):
like leave their house and they would have a girl over and like
the few hours I was gone, that happened to me.
So like first college I went to,we would have something called J
Term. And so that was like once
Christmas break started, you wouldn't technically go back to
school until like the end of January, if not beginning of
February because yeah, you take like a mini college course in
(51:18):
the span of 3-4 weeks. And so some people would be back
on campus early and it was usually literally like one or
two classes. There was, I think there was a
limit, I don't know, but I just hated not having access to my
dorm or like my own space because they would take your
keys over winter break and sucks.
Yeah. So I would always take AJ term
(51:39):
class because like I didn't wantto stay at home for like 2
months. Damn.
I wanted to run around. I wanted to.
Run around that. Yeah.
Oh, I did not like school that much.
Well, I I took volleyball. Oh yeah.
Oh, you took volleyball as of course.
Yeah, and it. Counts as like AP.
Credit. Wait, PE?
(52:00):
Why do you need PE? At that school we needed.
PE not it still being in the high school.
I swear to God, I swear to God. Wait, that's so funny.
But I would totally take volleyball.
Last semester at that school andI started talking to a boy that
went to the college I transferred to.
So it was like an hour away. And so and I only had this
(52:22):
class, keep in mind, like every other day.
So I think it was like volleyball, yeah.
Every other day, not actually like I couldn't play every other
day, but I feel like it's a lot.It's not like a because it's an
advanced. No, I think it.
And when I say that, I think it was like a Tuesday, Thursday, or
it was a Monday, Wednesday, Friday, I can't remember.
They are every other day but like I feel like PE was like
once a week so but like obviously.
(52:43):
Yeah, and it's like a fast trackclub, so.
Like what were the tests in fucking volleyball?
I don't know. And like show up like I think
there might have been a paper test over the rules.
I don't remember. Really were there like there was
no like many tournaments and like a tournament 1 you like
extra? I think the last day of class
(53:05):
there might have been like an actual game where we.
Can wait. You weren't playing games like
every day. No, it was that it was a tech.
Like a technical class. Oh fuck that, I need a
competition. Anyways, it doesn't matter.
It really doesn't, but fuck. I went to this class like twice
a week and so every other day ofthe week I was an hour away in
(53:27):
Martin, TN seeing this. Boy, no.
And this is where your first problem was this.
Is where my first problem? And keep in mind me skipping
away, going to my stupid volleyball class, okay?
Driving back in the span of being in class and driving back
(53:47):
that night, this man was with a whole other girl.
And how did you find this out? One of his friends, one of they
rat it. Oh yeah, they.
They told me it's giving a Southern charm, yeah.
No so the way I found out was sodrama too.
It was his girl best friend at the time.
Oh, this keeps getting. So is this like you're a
sophomore? This is my junior year.
(54:08):
No, Yeah, yeah, Sophomore year. Sophomore year, because it's
right before I transferred. So I came up early one weekend,
obviously like to see him, but like me and her, we're going to
go get dinner, get drinks, whatever and then meet up with
everybody. She told me not only like that
one circumstance, but apparentlythere were a few.
(54:30):
So I'm like fuming obviously. And now I'm like an hour away
and like a drink or two. And so I'm like, and so her
whole thing was like, I'll just stay with her and like, we could
still have our weekend. And she was just like, if you
don't want to talk to him, like whatever, I'm like, well, it's
not going to talk to him. Even though the whole time I was
(54:50):
like, please see him out. Please see.
Him out, I would have crashed. Out last message to him was
like, after he texted me again, was just like, yeah, I think
we're better off as friends. They don't have a problem with
you. I know, you know, I know.
There's no point in fighting about it.
Yeah. It is what it is.
The the plot twist is that same girl called me a few months
(55:11):
later while I was in the libraryand was like, do you have time
to talk? And I was like, yeah, yeah.
Proceeded to tell me that she was now dating the boy.
Why did she call you to? Tell me that she was dating the
boy that she told me was like cheating on me.
Yeah, and why would she call youto tell me?
Because we were friends after that.
Oh, I was just like when she told me that.
(55:32):
I was just like, yeah, OK, OK. That's why I got so immune to
like, people, like girls just like doing me so wrong and stuff
because I was just like, well, Iexpected that.
Like this is not my first go around.
Yeah, that's crazy. I never dealt with that.
Yeah, no, it's so bad I don't trust anything.
(55:53):
Something in your birth chart? No, it is.
Thank you. Full circle, full circle moment
here. What's the placement?
I don't know about the placement.
It's got to be. I don't know what house it is,
but. I haven't written down somewhere
the common themes that I'm supposed to grow from.
Yeah, is being chosen and betrayal.
(56:14):
And I'm like, well, yeah, I've done my fair fucking share of
that, so thank you. I've learned been betrayed a
lot. Yeah, I'm sorry, girl.
It's. OK, but no, I have grown and
healed from it in some ways. I need to work on my trust in
other people now. I think all people are good or
have good intentions for me, butthen that's how I do get burnt a
(56:34):
lot of the time. Yeah, don't assume anything.
Yeah, so especially like with boys and stuff, I always, it
didn't help though when you're living a life like I was like if
I'm in the bathroom calling another boy, why would I assume
that he's doing right by me? You know, you're kind of
projecting. So especially being in that
environment. So now I have done a ton of work
(56:56):
and like I would never in my life to do that.
Like that's just not who I am. But I know that because you have
to put in effort to build that kind of track record with
yourself and never cheated in a relationship.
But yeah, I just think of myselfmore highly now.
And I just now I'm trying to twist that and think like, if I
(57:19):
can do that and I expect that ofmyself, then I expect that of
you too. Boys just are.
They're bored these days and they need to get better, be
better, yeah, But they're the good ones are definitely out
there. There's somewhere.
They are. No, they are.
Don't. Don't fall for the potential.
Don't do it. If he doesn't buy you flowers
when you're dating, what makes you think he's going to do that
(57:40):
when you're like years into a relationship?
Don't be bad about it. Don't, because he's not going to
do it. I don't really care to get
flowers like that. I do let the whole world fucking
know. I want the fucking flowers.
If they like, if they have a good aesthetic, then yes.
Like I don't want an ugly ass flower bouquet.
Like don't put it in there, I should.
Know that about you. Yes, but like I did have, I did
(58:03):
date one guy and he would do thebouquets or whatever.
And it's not their fault that they don't have a good eye like,
you know. But there's things like
florists. That is true.
That is very true. I've been getting into the
(58:24):
flowers lately, so I probably would want to bouquet.
I just want like pretty expensive ones.
Obviously I don't want somethingfrom nasty Kroger.
I'm. So sorry, I don't think the
Kroger flowers. I just like to know that you
thought of me. I don't want the Kroger Klout
flowers at all. At all.
But there's this guy on TikTok that shows men how to make them.
(58:46):
So you just go to Trader Joe's and make them yourself.
So cute, so cute. I don't think I have any closing
thoughts. Just don't be fucking stupid and
get it together everyone. It's crazy out here.
Have self respect, it's the theme.
Is that the theme of the day? Learn about your astrology
(59:06):
chart. Learn about honestly, it's not
even learn about your I mean that, but also learn about
yourself. Learn about yourself.
Get to know you, be you for you.Yeah, just always be yourself no
matter fucking what. Who cares what people think?
Unless it's you're like crazy, then maybe take the V back in.
(59:27):
But it's fine. Just be yourself like no one
gives. Oh crap, I run.
For you because you're judgmental.
OK, Thanks, guys. Bye.
Give us five stars. Love you.
Love you.
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