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Speaker 1 (00:01):
Section fourteen of Black Experience in America eighteenth through twentieth century.
This is a LibriVox recording. All LibriVox recordings are in
the public domain. For more information or to volunteer, please
visit LibriVox dot org. Lawin and jaw by Zora Neil
Hurston recording by Tara Theory, Black Experience in America eighteenth
(00:25):
through twentieth century by various Section fourteen. Lawing Enjoying by
Zora Neil Hurston from three plays Lawing and Jawing forty
yards Whiffing, author Zora Neil Hurston. Release date November twenty ninth,
two thousand five, Project Gutenberg Ebook one seven one eight
(00:46):
seven time present place, Waycross, Georgia. Scene, Judge dun Fummy's
court persons, Judge Dunfummy, Officer Simpson and another Jemima Flapcakes,
Cliff Cullins, John Barnes, two lawyers, a clerk, a pretty
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girl and her escort. Setting usual courtroom arrangement, except that
there is a large red arrow pointing off stage left,
marked to jail action at rise. Everybody is in place
except the judge. Suddenly the clerk looks off stage right
and motions for everybody to rise, enter the judge. He
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wears a black cap and gown and has his gavel
in his hand. The two policemen walk behind him, holding
up his gown. He mounts the bench and glares all
about him before he seats himself. There is a pretty
girl in the front row left, and he takes a
good look at her, smiles, frowns at her escort. He
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motions the police to leave him and take their places
with the spectators, and he then raps vigorously with his
gavel for order, judge. Here here court is set. My
hona is on the bench. You moufi folks set up.
He glares at the boy with the pretty girl. All right,
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mister whistlebrushes, just keep up that jawing now and see
how much time I'll give you. Boy, I wasn't talking
your honor, judge, Well, quit looking so moufey. To clerk
call the first case, and I warn each and all
that my honor is in bad humor this mornin'. I'd
give a canary bird twenty years for pecking at an elephant.
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To clerk. Bring 'em on, clerk reading Cliff Mullins charged
with assault upon his wife with a weapon and disturbing
the peace. As Cliff is led to the bar by
the officer, the judge glares ferociously at the prisoner. His
wife all bandages, limps up to the bar at the
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same time. Judge, so use one of these hard boiled
wife beaters. Huh, just a mean old woman, Jesse. If
I don't lay a hearing on you, God's a gopher.
Now what made you cut such a caper Cliff, Judge.
I didn't go hunt her Saturday night. I was down
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on Dearborn Street in Buffet Flat, Buffet Flat, Ah, at
Emma Hale's house. Oh yes, go on, well points thumbred wife.
She come down here and claim I took her money.
And she claimed I was spending it on Emma Cliff's wife.
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And that's just what he was doing to Judge Cliff.
She's telling a great big old George a lie. Judge.
I wasn't spending no money of hern woman. Yes he was, Judge.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
There wasn't no money for him to get but mine.
He he ain't hit a look of work since God
been to making know what he loved. When I worry
him about working, say, he wouldn't take a job with
the careless love lumber company, putting out what make you
do me like you do?
Speaker 1 (04:14):
Do do? Judge? So you goes for a sweep back,
do you? Cliff? Nah, Sir, Judge, I'd be glad to
work if I could find a job. Judge, how long
you been out of work? Cliff? Seventeen years? Judge, seventeen years.
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To woman, you've been taking care of this man for
seventeen years. Woman, Nah, but he'd been so.
Speaker 2 (04:42):
Mean to me, it seems like seventeen years, Judge.
Speaker 1 (04:46):
Now tell me just where he hurt you. Judge, tell
you the truth. I'm hurt all over, rubs her buttocks.
Speaker 2 (04:56):
Fact is, I'm cut.
Speaker 1 (04:58):
Did you get cut in the fracas? Feeling the back
of her left thigh below her buttocks.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Not in the fracas, Judge, just blow it.
Speaker 1 (05:08):
She starts to show the judge where she has been cut.
He motions to stop her. Stop to officer Simpson, grab him,
put him into shade. Cliff, Judge, I'm unguilty. I ain't
laid the weight of my hand on her. A malice.
You got me cused of murder an I ain't harmed
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a child, Judge, Lemme ask you somethin didn't you know
that all the women in this town belongs to me.
Beat my women. An, I'll stuff you in jail ninety years,
Take em away. Cliff has led off to jail. Judge
looks angrily at the boy who is holding hands with
the pretty girl. You runs me hot An, I'm just
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dyin to sit on your case. What you in here for? Boy?
Nothin' Judge, Well, what's you doin in my court? You
gait a faced rascal. Boy. My girl wanted to see
what was going on, so I brought her in. Judge,
Oh yeah, smiles that girl. She was using good sense
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to come see what I'm doin. But how come you
come in here? You goin to have a hard time
getting out. Boy, I ain't done a thing. I ain't
never done nothing. I'm just as clean as a fish.
And he been bathing all his life. Judge, you ain't
done nothing. Huh, Well, then U's guilty of vacancy. Grab him,
Simpson and search him. An if you got any concealed weapons,
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I'm goin to give him lifetime an eight years more.
The officer seizes the boy and frisks him. All he
finds is a new deck of cards. The Judge looks
at them in triumph. Uh huh, I knowed it. One
of these skin game jelly beans, robbin' hard workin men
out they money boy, Judge, I ain't used them at all.
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See they brand new Judge. Well, then use charge with
total concealed cards and attempt to gamble ten years at
hard labor. Put him in the dark, Simpson, and throw
the key away. He looks at the girl in beams.
Don't you worry about how you're going to get home.
You're going to be took home right because I'm going
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to take you myself. Bring on the next one, clerk.
Clerk Jemima Flapjacks charged with illegal possession and sale of
alcoholic liquors. She is a fat, black, belligerent looking woman.
Judge looks coldly at her. Judge, Well, you heard what
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he said. Is you guilty or unguilty? And I'm telling
you right now that you come up before me, it's
just like yous and church. You better have a strong
determination and you better tell a good experience. Jemima arms
a kimbo. Yes, that's sold it, and I'll sell it again,
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snaps fingers and shakes hips. How does all boo selling
mama talk. Judge, Yes, five thousand dollars and ten years
in jail, snaps fingers and shakes hips. How does all
heavy fine and papa talk. She is led away, shouting
and weeping. Clerk. The otis blunt, charged with stealing a mule.
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Lawyer rises and comes forward with the prisoner. Lawyer, you
can't convict this man. I'm here to represent him. Judge,
Your mouth might spout like a coffee pot, but I
got a lawyer that can be yours. A gaest to
eaten looks admiring a girl. How about you in my
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dictionary and mingling my alphabets. Lawyer. Well, I can try,
can't I? Judge? Oh yeah, you can try. But I
can see you right now where he's going to get
all the time got god ever made that ain't been
used already from now on, go ahead and spread your
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lungs all over Georgie. But he's going to jail. Mules
must be respected. Lawyer striking a pose at the bar,
your honor looks at the pretty girl, ladies and gentlemen. Judge,
never mind bout that lady. You talk your chat to me, Lawyer.
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This is a clear case of syllogism. Again, I say syllogism.
My client is innocent because it was a dark night.
When they say he stole the mule, and that's against
all laws of syllogism, Judge looks impressed and laughs. Judge,
that old fool do know something about law lawyer? When
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George Washington was pleading the case of Marbury versus Madison,
what did he say? What did he say? Scintillate, scintillate
globule orific fame? When I fathom thy nature's specific loftily
poised in either capacious, strongly resembling a gem carbonaceous. What
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did Abraham Lincoln say about mule stealing? When Torred Phoebet
refuses his presence and ceases to lamp with fierce incandescence,
then you illumine the region's supernal scintillate, scintillate, semper nocturnal syllogism. Again,
I say syllogism. He takes his seat amid applause. Judge,
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man u's a plead and fool. You knows your rules
and by laws, other lawyer, Let me show my glory,
Let me spread my habeas corpus. Judge, tain no use
this lawyer done convinced me other lawyer. But let me
parade my material. Judge, parade your material anywhere you wants
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to accept. And before me, this little girl wants to
go home, and I'm going with her and enjoy it.
At consequences. Courts adjourned curtain end of Section fourteen. Recording
by TARITHII, New York City