May 2, 2025 • 29 mins
A comedic variety show featuring rapid-fire monologues, sketches, and musical performances, delivering topical humor and celebrity guests.
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Episode Transcript
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Speaker 1 (00:00):
Or the safety of your smile. Use testident twice a day,
see your dentist twice a year. Tonight from his hometown Cleveland, Ohio,
we bring you the Pestident show, Darling, Bob Hope, thank you,
(00:36):
well fed relatives. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Bob back in his home down of Cleveland,
Hope telling you folks in Ohio to use pepsident. Your
(00:59):
teeth will never ruck Warren, You'll always be able to
chew alignment. After you start dating, you'll soon be married.
It'll be a good alliance because there won't be any
Tiffin and I hope you see their point. That's all loco.
(01:27):
But this is my hometown. Well here I am in
my hometown, Cleveland. Cleveland is all decorated for the Sesqui Centennial.
Nice way of cleaning your teeth, Yes, sir, there are
signs everywhere saying one hundred and fifty years old. I'm
still trying to catch the guy who put them all
under my pictures. We had a wonderful plane trip in
(01:48):
here on the constellation, the Constellation that Buck Rodgers' dream
come true. We claimed across in the Stratusphere in factory
so high w CPOs flue escort for us all the
way to Kansas day the water trip over the rockies.
The steward to serve lunch. I said, why pepperman sticks
for lunch. He said, that's celery. Your nose is bleeding.
(02:17):
And once I looked out of the window and I
saw a guy pulling by in midair. I said, hey,
what are you doing out there without a parachute? And
he said, I don't need one. I'm rayma land. But
I had a wonderful trip. I didn't feel a thing
until we landed at Cleveland, and the steward has helped
me out from under my seat. When we flew in
over the city and I saw Cleveland, lump came in
(02:38):
my thought. It was that apple. I tried to swallow
over albuquer, but I want to sell it that Consolation
has got every accommodation. In fact, when you're ready for breakfast,
you stick your hand out the window and an eagle
lays a fresh egg in it. The pilot kept saying
the plane was as comfortable as your living room, and
he was right. Although I did feel sorry for the
saxophone player who opened the door and stepped out after
the milk. And when we arrived here at Cleveland, what
(03:11):
crowds at the airport. The police had the ropes stuff,
but I demanded a trial first. Why but I love
this old time at Cleveland. Somehow, even the wind off
the lake doesn't seem as cold as it used to be.
Of course, I've got underwear now. I've got a brother
(03:32):
here in the whtel meat business. He had trouble with shortages,
but he's getting plenty of meat now. The Cleveland Indians
are selling Marlaroe ball players, and a fist speaker's listening.
I'm only kidding. A good portion of my family still
lives no high. I got a brother doing fine down
(03:52):
a tent, and another one doing five at Columbus IM.
When I left Cleveland ten years ago, my father said,
I go a long way. In fact, he nail the
door of the box car shut just to make sure.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Well.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I lived in the neighborhood here where the people were
poor than church mice, and you know church mice used
to be awfully poor, And so Crosby made going my way.
I liked that personally, and I went back and paid
the visits in my old schoolroom and sat in my
old ass and there was the same old ink, well,
(04:27):
the same old books, and the same old shaving kids.
They're very proud of me out of Sparamont School. In fact,
on my old ass is a bronze Plaquta, said Bob Hope,
slept hair War time restrictions are ending. Now the toothpaste
(04:59):
you bought it it is here. It's a new, better
than ever Pepsident toothpaste with twice as much gerium. This
new Pepsident has a wonderfully refreshing taste, a cleaner, brighter
taste that means cleaner, brighter teeth. This new Pepsident with
twice as much aerium cleans teeth better, cleans better between teeth,
(05:19):
makes your breath cleaner, fresher. Two. You've never had a
finer toothpaste, and never an introductory value like this lie.
Now you can get two tubes a new post war
Pepsident or only twenty nine percent, Yes, two twenty five
cent twos a fifty cent value or only twenty nine cents.
Get this new Petsident. Compare it with any toothpaste you've
(05:41):
used before. Compare its taste, Compare results. See how quickly,
how safely This new pepsident with twice as much aerium
removes the film that makes your teeth look dull. See
how new pepsident cleans teeth better, cleans better between teeth two.
See how fresh it makes your whole mouth feel. Compare
(06:02):
it now during the sensational introductory offers get to twenty
five cent twos of new improved fasidence or only twenty
nine cents a fifty cent value for only twenty nine cents.
Don't delay. Here comes Hinny out of far Or. You
(06:28):
won't be satisfied until you're break my heart. You're never
satisfy until the tear drops. I'll try to shower.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
You with love, che but all I'll ever get from.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Nagging and dragging.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
My part is dagging the way you toss my heart
around you, Clint.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I'll bet you wouldn't like him if.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I do the same. You're only happy, charn Or, my
dreams are far.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You won't be satisfied until you break my mom.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You're only happy telling all my dreams about why you
won't be satisfied until you brain.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
My Y's sir. That was you won't be satisfied, sung
by Skinny, and it's the only singer in radio can
(08:14):
make one lung sound like none. Edgar step In, what
did you think of that fast flight in from Los
Angeles on the Consolation this morning? And we came in
so fast I didn't even have time to take a break. Well,
that didn't make any difference. The day wasn't your day
to breed anyway, or.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But it's almost unbelievable, Skinny that the Consolation could bring
us some Los Angeles here in eleven hours and forty minutes.
Oh but it didn't take eleven hours and forty minutes,
did it? Oh? Yeah, seven hours from California to Cleveland
and four hours through traffic from the airports to the
Carter Hotel. You did it in the bus iwas in anyways, Hey,
(08:57):
how did you like your accommodations on the Constellation coming in? Well?
Not bad, but I was a little cramped. Cramped. You
shouldn't have been. I thought you'd be very comfortable in there. Yeah,
but those golf clubs take up a lot of room
in the bag too. And understand it, I took the
putter off, by the way, scam say, while we're in Cleveland,
(09:20):
I'd like to show you the street I was born
on street. What's the matter? Could you put a hospital? Well,
in those days they had long traffic signals. But you know, Sam,
you know they even named the street after me here
(09:42):
in Cleveland. So they named the street after me in
North Carolina too, I know, but mine's not a dead end.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Man.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
How can you stand there with your hat off and
say that? How can you said with your hat off?
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Well, got mob for quiet sky?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Well, Francis lank.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Love at her.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Hello FRANSI say you, Lester?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
What did you say? I could hello Lesters?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Less it never let you look at my family album again. Well, Francis,
Kinny and I were just talking about the trip on
the consolation. Wasn't it wonderful?
Speaker 5 (10:29):
I thought so?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
But surely you didn't have much fun.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Pouting all the way.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Well you'd have potted too.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Oh, Bob, the planet couldn't open the winter just so
you could hold your paper windmill out.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
See, Bob, I meant to ask you.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Were your books glad to see you? Not particularly Francis.
They were just as happy getting it through the mail.
I send the big two every week.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Well, I got a great til getting off the plane
at the airport, seeing Major Burr and seeing all those
people out there. Well, I imagine tovids. Weren't you carrying
it a little too far?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Gunning up and kissing that one man?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Why you wouldn't understand, Francis, You didn't have a draft
for it? No? Really, no, really, he was the mayor.
It wasn't it nice for him to get into the
keys of the city.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Yes, he thought, he said, he thought that would be best.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You thought that would be best?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
After you laugh last time.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
It was so much trouble digging those hairpins out of all.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
The lot.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
That shouldn't have been me. I'm a paper cliff man.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Where it must have been interesting looking up the old
landmarks you used to know.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes, too bad, so many of them are married.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
By the way.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
By the way, Francis, where are you saying.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Oh, I'm stopping at the Carda hotel.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Ball Really well, I'm stopping at the Carda too, I know.
But they gave me a room. Oh what do I care?
The Janet is a pretty good jin rummy player. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, it's a real pleasure now to bring
you a friend of mine, a former golf partner in
one of the outstanding political figures of our state of Ohio.
(12:13):
The governor is Excellency Frank J. Lausche He coming. Thanks Bob,
and thank you Democrats, Welcome to the Pabstida Show. Governor,
(12:39):
thank you, Bob. And I could only say, it's a
pleasure for me to appear with one of America's most
talented personalities. No wonder this guy's governor. Oh you didn't
have to say that, Governor. I know, Bob, but in
my business of voters a vote, Governor, you must really
(13:06):
be popular here. I even saw a Republican applauding.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I'm amazed.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I'm amazed you saw a Republican applaud It wasn't exactly applauding.
He was plicking two bricker buttons together. The Governor, I'll
tell you it was really decent to you to consent
to appear in our program. It's all right, Bob. I
don't run for re election until next fall, and by
that time the public might forget you. Bring a writer
(13:37):
up from Columbus, Ddica. By the way, Governor, don't you
think that you could find me some sort of a
political job. You know, radio is pretty shaky, and you
never know when the sponsor is liable to turn the
power off. You know, well right at the moment, Bob,
I don't mean anything, big governor, just a little something
in the day coach of the official gravy train, sort
(14:01):
of a small pig's knuckle in the old park barrel. Princess,
How about me going to banquets with him sneering back
at the Republicans? Bob, please, you have the wrong idea
entirely in Ohio we always play ball with the Republican
You play ball with the Republicans. Yes, of course, we
make sure they don't stick in too much time up
at back. But Bob, you haven't lived in Cleveland for
(14:31):
ten years, have you? No? I haven't. And you've made
pretty good money now, don't you? Well? Not bad? What
about it? Well, Bob, I have a lot of influence,
but I regret to say after this year, I'll have
to stop your relief kids. Well, summer's coming, and I
(14:52):
can always reopen my frozen custard booth at Duplid Beach. Anyway,
go tell me confidentially, is that rumor true that you
have ambitions to get to the White House? Why, Bob,
how did a rumor like that ever? Scott? Last week
a piano teacher was seen sneaking in your back door. Bob.
(15:23):
I guess you've been pretty busy since you arrived here,
haven't you. Yes, I haven't even had time to see
my old home. Oh I'm sorry about that, Bob, But
I guess they haven't told you told me about what
our recent slum clearance program. You can always go to
(15:46):
my country home in Warrensville.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
It's all.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Tell me by local riviera. Bob. Are you going to
be here for the National Golf Open at Canda? Oh? No,
you you can't rope me into a game after that
last game we played. Oh I see, you're just jealous
because I won. Oh no, wonder you can't beat a governor.
What do you mean by that? Well, when I made
that hole in run, the police commissioner ran over, shoved
the machine gun in my face and said, what a
(16:13):
wonderful shot the governor just made. Now let's see what
you can do. That's more than I can stand. I
give up. Well, Bob, I want to thank you sincerely
(16:34):
for bringing your show back here to Cleveland, and to
add another word of thanks for the many things you've
done to improve the city of Cleveland. Oh well, that's
very sweet, Governor, But wait a minute, what improvement did
I make I left Cleveland in nineteen twenty eight. Well,
that doesn't leave much for me to say. You asked
the question and answer the truth.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Yes, John, the neighborhood team, that's all that it was.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
But what.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
People was like combabs great Bay with costume.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Hello.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Because you were at the time with me, it was
just a ride.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
On a plane.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
That's all that it was.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
But all what it seemed to be.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
He was like coutry to the story. No astros because
you were on the same with me.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Say, and when I get through time it was small
than just the same.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
For me, it was the problem.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Go father day say had.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Well for me.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
He was the wedding.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
And June that that it was.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
What it seemed to do. It was rill up. Were
there want.
Speaker 5 (19:01):
Love?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
You said, yes, I do.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Let it model indeed.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Talat Yes, with wartime restrictions ending. The new toothpaste you
wanted is here. It's the better than ever new Pepsident
toothpaste with a cleaner, brighter taste That means cleaner brighter teeth.
This wonderfully refreshing new Peptidon contains twice as much ariium,
(19:59):
the exclusive flensing ingredients that only Pepsident can give you.
You've never had a finer toothpaste and never an introductory
value like this. Live Now you can get two tubes
of new post War President or only twenty nine cents. Yes,
two twenty five cent tubes a fifty cent value or
only twenty nine cents. Get it. Compare it with any
(20:21):
toothpaste you've used before. See how quickly, how safely this
new Pepsident with twice as much aerium removes the film
that makes your teeth look dull. See how it cleans
teeth better, cleans better between teeth, makes your breath cleaner,
fresher too. Compare it now. While you can get two
(20:42):
twenty five cent tubes of new Pepsident toothpaste for only
twenty nine cents, this introductory offer is limited, so acts
it once, Ladies and gentlemen, an honoring Cleveland fescucent ten.
We had planned to give you a Botany play lets tonight,
(21:02):
but upon arriving here and learning that Cessica Centennial is
not a flower, Bob decided to change at the last minute.
Though we will now present some episodes from the early
life of Bob hope or nature strikes back. We take
you back to the night of May twenty third, nineteen eleven.
(21:25):
The stork is winging its way through the sky above Cleveland,
Dard that's off cold. When Papa Hope comes home from work,
he peaks a little Robert lying in his crib and says, happily,
what you know, a short fish? A little Robert showed
(21:50):
early signs of becoming a child prodigy. Was really a
surprise to his parents, and without warning he already his
first word, da da. Isn't that wonderful?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Father?
Speaker 5 (22:00):
And just think he's only fourteen?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Find me At the age of sixteen, Bob Hope teams
up with another kid and goes in the boat. Bill,
tell me, mister bones, what's the count? What's the cow?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
You hurt me?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
What's the cow? That's the horse that's going buller? And
Bob grew up and went out to Hollywood to win
fame and fortune, but he never forgot his folks. Each
week he sends them a box of apples, which they
sell in the corner of Prospect and Ontario. And now
we find Bob's parents in Cleveland, Ohio, living in the
(22:37):
little house that Bob built for them. The rain will
soon stops. Moll keep treading water.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I ain't understanding, Paul.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
The rus never leave the poor house up there yesterday
and forgot to screw the cap on us. Yeah, I
sure wish we'ld get a letter from our son Robert
went for Paul.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
There's never anything in him but writing.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
You know what our son Robert's doing out in Hollywood?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Now, same old thing. I guess.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
Oh really that's odd. I heard he got a job
by the time he took your exercise.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Ain't it, Paul?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, I guess so. Ma. Here goes. Okay, Now for
the toes in the other foot, Paul, the.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
Mortgagees do today.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
If our son Robert.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Don't get here with the ten thousand dollars, we'll lose
the old homestead.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
What of it, maf we get kicked out. All we
got to do is go around any apartment building and
run an apartment.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Man's right, Paul.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
There's lots of vacant places around.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah. See that was fun. Mo. Now this time you
light up and bow the smoke in my face. Don't
you worry? Ma, our son Robert will get here with
the money. Hell a hey, hell a hey, And all. Hey, hey,
(24:01):
it must be a part of nine. There's a horse
on the phone. Helloa, are you the banker? Right?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Kay?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Van swarringe in Colonna Railroads consolidated vans adalgamated also better
sold at midnight out of the high level braid. Well, listen, Colonna,
my son sent me a check last week that should
have covered it. How much was his check for? I
(24:31):
can't tell. You can't tell. Oh, it hasn't stopped bouncing yet,
you know, professor, for a banker, you sound a little jerky. Well,
I'm chilli, I hope. I spent all day in the
frigid air. What are you doing in the frigid air
figuring out frozen assets? It's no use trading. Get the
mortgage money and have it your house tonight. I'll be
there at six with the hot needles and firing squad.
(24:52):
You're really money mad, glad you see, Hope. I I
want all the things I never had as a child, wine,
women and a mink string for my Helonna. Tell me,
how can you be so tight? Easy? Hope? Every morning?
Now I'm on my readings. Hell, we haven't got the
(25:15):
money to pay the mortgage.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
To us and non bunny about him. Hanging is a
man right here in the bank now explaining why he
can't pay his mortgage, and he isn't the least bit
nervous about him. Of course he's that is a bit.
But now we'll Bob Hope Junior arrive in time to
stay the family homestead. We'll Professor Colone's must patch get
back from the dry cleaners before Wednesdy. We'll a sponsor
(25:40):
put up with this kind of a program much longer
he's tuned in, and try and find out we're not
taking to the cabin of a speedy constellation. Bob Hope
is forward anxiously talking to the pilot. Are you sure
(26:02):
we're gonna make a pilot? I've got to get there
for the mortgage. We got enough gas, enough gas. We've
been out a gas since Chicago. I had a gas
since your cargo. What have we been flying on? Have
a mind that just keep talking? What's that? I won't
have enough gas to land? You better bail out. Okay,
(26:23):
I've got the parachute on. Don't forget to jump count
to ten, then pull a rip call. Okay, here I go.
Geronimo one two three.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Eight nine ten.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Here here's my house right over hair skin. You can
do these things in radio while go in in Surprise mall.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
When algy sakes god son Robert come home with a
mortgage money?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
The mortgage money? What mortgage money? Hey more, I got money.
Let me back in Donia just in time. Banker Colonna's
foreclosing the mortgage. We can't pay, right. If I can't
pay the mortgage, then I'll have to take your daughter
with me. Colona, there are no girls in the family,
(27:27):
and put me down this nice Colonna, where's your heart?
Don't you know that the quality of mercy is not strange?
That the quality of mercy is not strain? What do
you say to that? And she's pretty lumpy, doesn't it? Listen?
We shouldn't be discussing this in front of the old folks.
We'll go over to your office. Where is it over
(27:48):
an asta Ulu? But I don't know if you're I'm Colonna.
We're gonna pull this kind of stuff and take best tomorrow.
Three huh, Colonna, Why aren't you a sporting man about
this mortage? Well, Joel for the mortgage, all right? So
better here I'll be working with West Calton where is
that yes? All right, fine, I'll just take this forty
(28:10):
five revolver and you, you lucky man, take this bow
and arrow. Sounds like a pair arrangements. Ready, ready, I'll come, three, one,
two three. Didn't know I was a Cleveland, Indian.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
All tanks, Gabe.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I'm being asked to share in this great, big affair
from post to coast. No better host than the American Legionnaire.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
And we thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Thanks to Governor Frank J. Laushey and all you Clevelanders
for being with us tonight. You were wonderful, Governor, you
were great. Really. Also, i'd like to say thanks again
the Captain Pat Gallup, chief of Operations for tw and
that wonderful crew for making our trip in the Lockheed
Constellation is so delightful. Excuse me, Bob. A man whose
name has long been identified with aiding humanity, mister Basil O'Connor,
(29:07):
the national chairman of the American Red Cross, is waiting
in Washington. Say a few words, mister Basil O'Connor. This
is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company,
Or the safety of your smile. Use testident twice a day,
see your dentist twice a year. Tonight from his hometown Cleveland, Ohio,
we bring you the Pestident show, Darling, Bob Hope, thank you,
(00:36):
well fed relatives. How do you do, ladies and gentlemen.
This is Bob back in his home down of Cleveland,
Hope telling you folks in Ohio to use pepsident. Your
(00:59):
teeth will never ruck Warren, You'll always be able to
chew alignment. After you start dating, you'll soon be married.
It'll be a good alliance because there won't be any
Tiffin and I hope you see their point. That's all loco.
(01:27):
But this is my hometown. Well here I am in
my hometown, Cleveland. Cleveland is all decorated for the Sesqui Centennial.
Nice way of cleaning your teeth, Yes, sir, there are
signs everywhere saying one hundred and fifty years old. I'm
still trying to catch the guy who put them all
under my pictures. We had a wonderful plane trip in
(01:48):
here on the constellation, the Constellation that Buck Rodgers' dream
come true. We claimed across in the Stratusphere in factory
so high w CPOs flue escort for us all the
way to Kansas day the water trip over the rockies.
The steward to serve lunch. I said, why pepperman sticks
for lunch. He said, that's celery. Your nose is bleeding.
(02:17):
And once I looked out of the window and I
saw a guy pulling by in midair. I said, hey,
what are you doing out there without a parachute? And
he said, I don't need one. I'm rayma land. But
I had a wonderful trip. I didn't feel a thing
until we landed at Cleveland, and the steward has helped
me out from under my seat. When we flew in
over the city and I saw Cleveland, lump came in
(02:38):
my thought. It was that apple. I tried to swallow
over albuquer, but I want to sell it that Consolation
has got every accommodation. In fact, when you're ready for breakfast,
you stick your hand out the window and an eagle
lays a fresh egg in it. The pilot kept saying
the plane was as comfortable as your living room, and
he was right. Although I did feel sorry for the
saxophone player who opened the door and stepped out after
the milk. And when we arrived here at Cleveland, what
(03:11):
crowds at the airport. The police had the ropes stuff,
but I demanded a trial first. Why but I love
this old time at Cleveland. Somehow, even the wind off
the lake doesn't seem as cold as it used to be.
Of course, I've got underwear now. I've got a brother
(03:32):
here in the whtel meat business. He had trouble with shortages,
but he's getting plenty of meat now. The Cleveland Indians
are selling Marlaroe ball players, and a fist speaker's listening.
I'm only kidding. A good portion of my family still
lives no high. I got a brother doing fine down
(03:52):
a tent, and another one doing five at Columbus IM.
When I left Cleveland ten years ago, my father said,
I go a long way. In fact, he nail the
door of the box car shut just to make sure.
Speaker 2 (04:05):
Well.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
I lived in the neighborhood here where the people were
poor than church mice, and you know church mice used
to be awfully poor, And so Crosby made going my way.
I liked that personally, and I went back and paid
the visits in my old schoolroom and sat in my
old ass and there was the same old ink, well,
(04:27):
the same old books, and the same old shaving kids.
They're very proud of me out of Sparamont School. In fact,
on my old ass is a bronze Plaquta, said Bob Hope,
slept hair War time restrictions are ending. Now the toothpaste
(04:59):
you bought it it is here. It's a new, better
than ever Pepsident toothpaste with twice as much gerium. This
new Pepsident has a wonderfully refreshing taste, a cleaner, brighter
taste that means cleaner, brighter teeth. This new Pepsident with
twice as much aerium cleans teeth better, cleans better between teeth,
(05:19):
makes your breath cleaner, fresher. Two. You've never had a
finer toothpaste, and never an introductory value like this lie.
Now you can get two tubes a new post war
Pepsident or only twenty nine percent, Yes, two twenty five
cent twos a fifty cent value or only twenty nine cents.
Get this new Petsident. Compare it with any toothpaste you've
(05:41):
used before. Compare its taste, Compare results. See how quickly,
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how new pepsident cleans teeth better, cleans better between teeth two.
See how fresh it makes your whole mouth feel. Compare
(06:02):
it now during the sensational introductory offers get to twenty
five cent twos of new improved fasidence or only twenty
nine cents a fifty cent value for only twenty nine cents.
Don't delay. Here comes Hinny out of far Or. You
(06:28):
won't be satisfied until you're break my heart. You're never
satisfy until the tear drops. I'll try to shower.
Speaker 2 (06:38):
You with love, che but all I'll ever get from.
Speaker 1 (06:44):
Nagging and dragging.
Speaker 2 (06:45):
My part is dagging the way you toss my heart
around you, Clint.
Speaker 1 (06:50):
I'll bet you wouldn't like him if.
Speaker 2 (06:53):
I do the same. You're only happy, charn Or, my
dreams are far.
Speaker 1 (07:00):
You won't be satisfied until you break my mom.
Speaker 2 (07:43):
You're only happy telling all my dreams about why you
won't be satisfied until you brain.
Speaker 1 (07:54):
My Y's sir. That was you won't be satisfied, sung
by Skinny, and it's the only singer in radio can
(08:14):
make one lung sound like none. Edgar step In, what
did you think of that fast flight in from Los
Angeles on the Consolation this morning? And we came in
so fast I didn't even have time to take a break. Well,
that didn't make any difference. The day wasn't your day
to breed anyway, or.
Speaker 3 (08:32):
You know.
Speaker 1 (08:32):
But it's almost unbelievable, Skinny that the Consolation could bring
us some Los Angeles here in eleven hours and forty minutes.
Oh but it didn't take eleven hours and forty minutes,
did it? Oh? Yeah, seven hours from California to Cleveland
and four hours through traffic from the airports to the
Carter Hotel. You did it in the bus iwas in anyways, Hey,
(08:57):
how did you like your accommodations on the Constellation coming in? Well?
Not bad, but I was a little cramped. Cramped. You
shouldn't have been. I thought you'd be very comfortable in there. Yeah,
but those golf clubs take up a lot of room
in the bag too. And understand it, I took the
putter off, by the way, scam say, while we're in Cleveland,
(09:20):
I'd like to show you the street I was born
on street. What's the matter? Could you put a hospital? Well,
in those days they had long traffic signals. But you know, Sam,
you know they even named the street after me here
(09:42):
in Cleveland. So they named the street after me in
North Carolina too, I know, but mine's not a dead end.
Speaker 3 (09:50):
Man.
Speaker 1 (09:50):
How can you stand there with your hat off and
say that? How can you said with your hat off?
Speaker 3 (09:59):
Well, got mob for quiet sky?
Speaker 1 (10:02):
Well, Francis lank.
Speaker 4 (10:03):
Love at her.
Speaker 5 (10:12):
Hello FRANSI say you, Lester?
Speaker 2 (10:17):
What did you say? I could hello Lesters?
Speaker 1 (10:20):
Less it never let you look at my family album again. Well, Francis,
Kinny and I were just talking about the trip on
the consolation. Wasn't it wonderful?
Speaker 5 (10:29):
I thought so?
Speaker 1 (10:30):
But surely you didn't have much fun.
Speaker 5 (10:31):
Pouting all the way.
Speaker 1 (10:32):
Well you'd have potted too.
Speaker 4 (10:34):
Oh, Bob, the planet couldn't open the winter just so
you could hold your paper windmill out.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
See, Bob, I meant to ask you.
Speaker 1 (10:47):
Were your books glad to see you? Not particularly Francis.
They were just as happy getting it through the mail.
I send the big two every week.
Speaker 2 (11:00):
You know.
Speaker 1 (11:03):
Well, I got a great til getting off the plane
at the airport, seeing Major Burr and seeing all those
people out there. Well, I imagine tovids. Weren't you carrying
it a little too far?
Speaker 2 (11:11):
Gunning up and kissing that one man?
Speaker 1 (11:12):
Why you wouldn't understand, Francis, You didn't have a draft
for it? No? Really, no, really, he was the mayor.
It wasn't it nice for him to get into the
keys of the city.
Speaker 4 (11:24):
Yes, he thought, he said, he thought that would be best.
Speaker 1 (11:26):
You thought that would be best?
Speaker 5 (11:29):
After you laugh last time.
Speaker 1 (11:30):
It was so much trouble digging those hairpins out of all.
Speaker 3 (11:32):
The lot.
Speaker 1 (11:37):
That shouldn't have been me. I'm a paper cliff man.
Speaker 4 (11:40):
Where it must have been interesting looking up the old
landmarks you used to know.
Speaker 1 (11:44):
Yes, too bad, so many of them are married.
Speaker 5 (11:47):
By the way.
Speaker 1 (11:49):
By the way, Francis, where are you saying.
Speaker 4 (11:51):
Oh, I'm stopping at the Carda hotel.
Speaker 1 (11:53):
Ball Really well, I'm stopping at the Carda too, I know.
But they gave me a room. Oh what do I care?
The Janet is a pretty good jin rummy player. And now,
ladies and gentlemen, it's a real pleasure now to bring
you a friend of mine, a former golf partner in
one of the outstanding political figures of our state of Ohio.
(12:13):
The governor is Excellency Frank J. Lausche He coming. Thanks Bob,
and thank you Democrats, Welcome to the Pabstida Show. Governor,
(12:39):
thank you, Bob. And I could only say, it's a
pleasure for me to appear with one of America's most
talented personalities. No wonder this guy's governor. Oh you didn't
have to say that, Governor. I know, Bob, but in
my business of voters a vote, Governor, you must really
(13:06):
be popular here. I even saw a Republican applauding.
Speaker 2 (13:09):
I'm amazed.
Speaker 1 (13:10):
I'm amazed you saw a Republican applaud It wasn't exactly applauding.
He was plicking two bricker buttons together. The Governor, I'll
tell you it was really decent to you to consent
to appear in our program. It's all right, Bob. I
don't run for re election until next fall, and by
that time the public might forget you. Bring a writer
(13:37):
up from Columbus, Ddica. By the way, Governor, don't you
think that you could find me some sort of a
political job. You know, radio is pretty shaky, and you
never know when the sponsor is liable to turn the
power off. You know, well right at the moment, Bob,
I don't mean anything, big governor, just a little something
in the day coach of the official gravy train, sort
(14:01):
of a small pig's knuckle in the old park barrel. Princess,
How about me going to banquets with him sneering back
at the Republicans? Bob, please, you have the wrong idea
entirely in Ohio we always play ball with the Republican
You play ball with the Republicans. Yes, of course, we
make sure they don't stick in too much time up
at back. But Bob, you haven't lived in Cleveland for
(14:31):
ten years, have you? No? I haven't. And you've made
pretty good money now, don't you? Well? Not bad? What
about it? Well, Bob, I have a lot of influence,
but I regret to say after this year, I'll have
to stop your relief kids. Well, summer's coming, and I
(14:52):
can always reopen my frozen custard booth at Duplid Beach. Anyway,
go tell me confidentially, is that rumor true that you
have ambitions to get to the White House? Why, Bob,
how did a rumor like that ever? Scott? Last week
a piano teacher was seen sneaking in your back door. Bob.
(15:23):
I guess you've been pretty busy since you arrived here,
haven't you. Yes, I haven't even had time to see
my old home. Oh I'm sorry about that, Bob, But
I guess they haven't told you told me about what
our recent slum clearance program. You can always go to
(15:46):
my country home in Warrensville.
Speaker 2 (15:47):
It's all.
Speaker 1 (15:52):
Tell me by local riviera. Bob. Are you going to
be here for the National Golf Open at Canda? Oh? No,
you you can't rope me into a game after that
last game we played. Oh I see, you're just jealous
because I won. Oh no, wonder you can't beat a governor.
What do you mean by that? Well, when I made
that hole in run, the police commissioner ran over, shoved
the machine gun in my face and said, what a
(16:13):
wonderful shot the governor just made. Now let's see what
you can do. That's more than I can stand. I
give up. Well, Bob, I want to thank you sincerely
(16:34):
for bringing your show back here to Cleveland, and to
add another word of thanks for the many things you've
done to improve the city of Cleveland. Oh well, that's
very sweet, Governor, But wait a minute, what improvement did
I make I left Cleveland in nineteen twenty eight. Well,
that doesn't leave much for me to say. You asked
the question and answer the truth.
Speaker 5 (16:52):
Yes, John, the neighborhood team, that's all that it was.
Speaker 2 (17:20):
But what.
Speaker 5 (17:26):
People was like combabs great Bay with costume.
Speaker 1 (17:32):
Hello.
Speaker 5 (17:34):
Because you were at the time with me, it was
just a ride.
Speaker 3 (17:43):
On a plane.
Speaker 5 (17:44):
That's all that it was.
Speaker 3 (17:48):
But all what it seemed to be.
Speaker 5 (17:55):
He was like coutry to the story. No astros because
you were on the same with me.
Speaker 3 (18:08):
Say, and when I get through time it was small
than just the same.
Speaker 5 (18:20):
For me, it was the problem.
Speaker 3 (18:26):
Go father day say had.
Speaker 2 (18:33):
Well for me.
Speaker 3 (18:38):
He was the wedding.
Speaker 1 (18:41):
And June that that it was.
Speaker 3 (18:49):
What it seemed to do. It was rill up. Were
there want.
Speaker 5 (19:01):
Love?
Speaker 3 (19:01):
You said, yes, I do.
Speaker 5 (19:08):
Let it model indeed.
Speaker 1 (19:38):
Talat Yes, with wartime restrictions ending. The new toothpaste you
wanted is here. It's the better than ever new Pepsident
toothpaste with a cleaner, brighter taste That means cleaner brighter teeth.
This wonderfully refreshing new Peptidon contains twice as much ariium,
(19:59):
the exclusive flensing ingredients that only Pepsident can give you.
You've never had a finer toothpaste and never an introductory
value like this. Live Now you can get two tubes
of new post War President or only twenty nine cents. Yes,
two twenty five cent tubes a fifty cent value or
only twenty nine cents. Get it. Compare it with any
(20:21):
toothpaste you've used before. See how quickly, how safely this
new Pepsident with twice as much aerium removes the film
that makes your teeth look dull. See how it cleans
teeth better, cleans better between teeth, makes your breath cleaner,
fresher too. Compare it now. While you can get two
(20:42):
twenty five cent tubes of new Pepsident toothpaste for only
twenty nine cents, this introductory offer is limited, so acts
it once, Ladies and gentlemen, an honoring Cleveland fescucent ten.
We had planned to give you a Botany play lets tonight,
(21:02):
but upon arriving here and learning that Cessica Centennial is
not a flower, Bob decided to change at the last minute.
Though we will now present some episodes from the early
life of Bob hope or nature strikes back. We take
you back to the night of May twenty third, nineteen eleven.
(21:25):
The stork is winging its way through the sky above Cleveland,
Dard that's off cold. When Papa Hope comes home from work,
he peaks a little Robert lying in his crib and says, happily,
what you know, a short fish? A little Robert showed
(21:50):
early signs of becoming a child prodigy. Was really a
surprise to his parents, and without warning he already his
first word, da da. Isn't that wonderful?
Speaker 2 (21:59):
Father?
Speaker 5 (22:00):
And just think he's only fourteen?
Speaker 1 (22:07):
Find me At the age of sixteen, Bob Hope teams
up with another kid and goes in the boat. Bill,
tell me, mister bones, what's the count? What's the cow?
Speaker 2 (22:14):
You hurt me?
Speaker 1 (22:14):
What's the cow? That's the horse that's going buller? And
Bob grew up and went out to Hollywood to win
fame and fortune, but he never forgot his folks. Each
week he sends them a box of apples, which they
sell in the corner of Prospect and Ontario. And now
we find Bob's parents in Cleveland, Ohio, living in the
(22:37):
little house that Bob built for them. The rain will
soon stops. Moll keep treading water.
Speaker 3 (22:44):
I ain't understanding, Paul.
Speaker 4 (22:45):
The rus never leave the poor house up there yesterday
and forgot to screw the cap on us. Yeah, I
sure wish we'ld get a letter from our son Robert
went for Paul.
Speaker 1 (22:55):
There's never anything in him but writing.
Speaker 5 (23:00):
You know what our son Robert's doing out in Hollywood?
Speaker 1 (23:03):
Now, same old thing. I guess.
Speaker 5 (23:04):
Oh really that's odd. I heard he got a job
by the time he took your exercise.
Speaker 3 (23:11):
Ain't it, Paul?
Speaker 1 (23:12):
Yeah, I guess so. Ma. Here goes. Okay, Now for
the toes in the other foot, Paul, the.
Speaker 5 (23:22):
Mortgagees do today.
Speaker 1 (23:23):
If our son Robert.
Speaker 4 (23:24):
Don't get here with the ten thousand dollars, we'll lose
the old homestead.
Speaker 1 (23:28):
What of it, maf we get kicked out. All we
got to do is go around any apartment building and
run an apartment.
Speaker 5 (23:32):
Yeah.
Speaker 1 (23:35):
Man's right, Paul.
Speaker 4 (23:36):
There's lots of vacant places around.
Speaker 1 (23:38):
Yeah. See that was fun. Mo. Now this time you
light up and bow the smoke in my face. Don't
you worry? Ma, our son Robert will get here with
the money. Hell a hey, hell a hey, And all. Hey, hey,
(24:01):
it must be a part of nine. There's a horse
on the phone. Helloa, are you the banker? Right?
Speaker 2 (24:10):
Kay?
Speaker 1 (24:10):
Van swarringe in Colonna Railroads consolidated vans adalgamated also better
sold at midnight out of the high level braid. Well, listen, Colonna,
my son sent me a check last week that should
have covered it. How much was his check for? I
(24:31):
can't tell. You can't tell. Oh, it hasn't stopped bouncing yet,
you know, professor, for a banker, you sound a little jerky. Well,
I'm chilli, I hope. I spent all day in the
frigid air. What are you doing in the frigid air
figuring out frozen assets? It's no use trading. Get the
mortgage money and have it your house tonight. I'll be
there at six with the hot needles and firing squad.
(24:52):
You're really money mad, glad you see, Hope. I I
want all the things I never had as a child, wine,
women and a mink string for my Helonna. Tell me,
how can you be so tight? Easy? Hope? Every morning?
Now I'm on my readings. Hell, we haven't got the
(25:15):
money to pay the mortgage.
Speaker 2 (25:16):
What are you going to do?
Speaker 1 (25:17):
To us and non bunny about him. Hanging is a
man right here in the bank now explaining why he
can't pay his mortgage, and he isn't the least bit
nervous about him. Of course he's that is a bit.
But now we'll Bob Hope Junior arrive in time to
stay the family homestead. We'll Professor Colone's must patch get
back from the dry cleaners before Wednesdy. We'll a sponsor
(25:40):
put up with this kind of a program much longer
he's tuned in, and try and find out we're not
taking to the cabin of a speedy constellation. Bob Hope
is forward anxiously talking to the pilot. Are you sure
(26:02):
we're gonna make a pilot? I've got to get there
for the mortgage. We got enough gas, enough gas. We've
been out a gas since Chicago. I had a gas
since your cargo. What have we been flying on? Have
a mind that just keep talking? What's that? I won't
have enough gas to land? You better bail out. Okay,
(26:23):
I've got the parachute on. Don't forget to jump count
to ten, then pull a rip call. Okay, here I go.
Geronimo one two three.
Speaker 4 (26:43):
Eight nine ten.
Speaker 1 (26:51):
Here here's my house right over hair skin. You can
do these things in radio while go in in Surprise mall.
Speaker 4 (27:02):
When algy sakes god son Robert come home with a
mortgage money?
Speaker 1 (27:06):
The mortgage money? What mortgage money? Hey more, I got money.
Let me back in Donia just in time. Banker Colonna's
foreclosing the mortgage. We can't pay, right. If I can't
pay the mortgage, then I'll have to take your daughter
with me. Colona, there are no girls in the family,
(27:27):
and put me down this nice Colonna, where's your heart?
Don't you know that the quality of mercy is not strange?
That the quality of mercy is not strain? What do
you say to that? And she's pretty lumpy, doesn't it? Listen?
We shouldn't be discussing this in front of the old folks.
We'll go over to your office. Where is it over
(27:48):
an asta Ulu? But I don't know if you're I'm Colonna.
We're gonna pull this kind of stuff and take best tomorrow.
Three huh, Colonna, Why aren't you a sporting man about
this mortage? Well, Joel for the mortgage, all right? So
better here I'll be working with West Calton where is
that yes? All right, fine, I'll just take this forty
(28:10):
five revolver and you, you lucky man, take this bow
and arrow. Sounds like a pair arrangements. Ready, ready, I'll come, three, one,
two three. Didn't know I was a Cleveland, Indian.
Speaker 3 (28:31):
All tanks, Gabe.
Speaker 1 (28:34):
I'm being asked to share in this great, big affair
from post to coast. No better host than the American Legionnaire.
Speaker 3 (28:42):
And we thank you so much.
Speaker 1 (28:45):
Thanks to Governor Frank J. Laushey and all you Clevelanders
for being with us tonight. You were wonderful, Governor, you
were great. Really. Also, i'd like to say thanks again
the Captain Pat Gallup, chief of Operations for tw and
that wonderful crew for making our trip in the Lockheed
Constellation is so delightful. Excuse me, Bob. A man whose
name has long been identified with aiding humanity, mister Basil O'Connor,
(29:07):
the national chairman of the American Red Cross, is waiting
in Washington. Say a few words, mister Basil O'Connor. This
is NBC, the National Broadcasting Company,
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