November 12, 2024 • 34 mins
Welcome to the Debut Episode of the Born Wild ADHD Podcast! Hosts Justine and Lisa bring you the real, unfiltered truth of ADHD life. From tech fails to unplanned tangents, this episode dives into the mess, humor, and lessons of living—and parenting—with ADHD.
Episode Highlights
Justine and Lisa kick off the Born Wild ADHD Podcast with a hilariously relatable tech fail—a record button that needs pressing twice, plus Bluetooth struggles and even a rogue mosquito. They dive into the amplified demands of ADHD life, from juggling work, kids, and relationships to tackling everyday chaos. Justine opens up about sharing the mental load with her husband, while single mom Lisa talks about setting boundaries to stay sane.
Reflecting on their own upbringings, they explore the generational impact of ADHD and how they’re learning to rethink their parenting. Lisa shares her journey of simplifying life and saying no to what doesn’t serve her, while Justine discusses the challenge of prioritizing her well-being without guilt. In work, they agree that ADHD shines in flexible environments, with Justine thriving in freelancing and Lisa finding relief in a supportive workplace.
They close by celebrating the power of owning the ADHD label—not as a limitation, but as a unique perspective. For Justine and Lisa, ADHD life can be a “shit show on wheels,” but it’s also filled with humor, growth, and resilience. They encourage listeners to embrace the brilliance within the mess and make the most of their ADHD strengths.
This episode was the real ADHD experience – tech fails, laughs, and all. The difference between chaos and thriving?
- A Coaching Mindset With a coaching mindset, mistakes become learning moments, not failures. It’s all about rolling with the punches and leaning into our strengths.
- Supportive Environments Matter ADHD shines brightest when we’re in spaces that support us, where we feel safe to be ourselves and build resilience.
Next Episode Preview Next time, we’ll cover the topic we planned for today. Plus, we have thoughts on Karen and her crew’s latest attempt to cancel Dave Grohl—don’t miss it!
Find Us & Join the Community
👉 Learn more about us at brnwld.com/podcast
👉 Pre-register for the upcoming BRNWLD membership at brnwld.com/register
👉 Follow us on socials: @brnwldADHD
Thanks for tuning in – stay wild, and see you next time!
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome to the Born Wild ADHD podcast.
(00:04):
I'm Justine and together with my partner in Chaos Lisa, we're here to get loud, have
a laugh, share some knowledge and keep it real about living with ADHD.
Welcome to Born Wild where we covered 20 topics in 5 weeks.
And don't say the actual thing that we did a week's worth of planning on, said no ADHD
person ever.
(00:25):
If you want the outcome of what we talked about, check into the next episode.
Or just, you know, download the fucking worksheet and we won't do it.
We've moved on with Corde now.
Yeah, we do have visuals if you want to do your own research.
But look, why don't we get on to what we actually planned to talk about?
This is going to be hilarious.
(00:47):
I love this already.
Just hope so good.
We didn't fucking record any of it.
Fuck my life.
Oh my god, Lisa.
I'm so loud.
But, classic.
Sorry I didn't say no, but you've got to click the fucking button twice.
Who does that?
Oh my god.
(01:07):
Fuck it.
You've got to click it again.
Let's fuck off.
I'm so sorry.
I'm going to have to join the library again.
That's alright.
We'll do it again.
Lisa, that was a practice run.
All right.
I adore you.
I'll let them.
We'll fucking double check the double.
I'm going to have to eat the whole fucking Snickers bars now.
(01:27):
I'll have some more.
I call it my pre-workout, but I'll be right.
Let's do it today so you're not angry.
I mean, this is probably the beginning to the podcast, isn't it?
It's me just going, I mean, fucking record it.
I mean, just love it.
It's just sticky.
It's the funniest shit ever.
And me just dying quietly inside.
(01:48):
I'm out in a damage control.
It's okay.
We're just recording against that.
It's fine.
Am I just going to, let's just do it again so we don't procrastinate and fucking get
it done.
Agreed.
Don't, don't even think it.
Don't be.
We'll laugh.
We'll fucking use this anyway and we'll do it again straight away.
Don't stress.
All right.
Well, welcome back to the Wildly ADHD podcast where we forget to record our shit.
(02:15):
We do the same session three times.
Yeah.
That was an interesting experience today and I am keen to talk about it for our next episode
because I just think it is ADHD traits in action and Monday did not go to plan today.
(02:43):
And like not bad bad, but it was this cumulative thing and I think it'd be really interesting
to unpack that.
The people listening because it's just, it's the real deal.
Yeah.
And I think this is new to both of us like the, or new into the routine or the work that
we're doing on top of our load without reassessing.
(03:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a whole, a whole topic.
Yeah.
It's a whole thing or fire.
Yeah.
I can't, that echo is going to suck me.
I can't hear it.
I can't hear it.
So what would it be?
So every time I'm on my tour, there's a delay on my vocal, your side.
So I'm wondering if you needed to jump into some headphones.
(03:26):
Have you got headphones?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have to go get, sorry.
I just think if, because I'm not going to be able to think straight.
No, I'm the same.
If I was hearing it, I couldn't think.
Hang on.
I've got to watch Lisa connect Bluetooth air potty things for the first time.
This will be amusing.
Do I leave them in the box?
No, you put them in your ears.
(03:48):
Love.
Do you mean to connect them?
I can't hear you.
You can't hear me.
What happened to your sound?
Put them in.
No.
Maybe you can.
Hang on.
We're trying to go in which ear.
I told you this will be exciting.
So they must connect automatically.
Hang on.
I've got to put them back in the box.
I know which ear is what.
Can you hear me?
(04:10):
Yes.
No.
How many ADHD girls have to do a podcast seamlessly?
Or how many tries?
Oh my God.
Yeah.
It's a bit, the volume's crappy and they're beeping at me.
But that's totally because I got to adjust something now.
Do I?
Yeah.
Is the echo gone?
(04:30):
Yes.
Thank the Lord, baby Jesus.
Oh, I know what the beeping is.
Here's a two ultra flash for me.
So you can actually control this shit with them.
Yeah, I've never used them before.
Yeah, I've just got to not touch them.
Okay.
Lisa wearing head fuckers.
All right.
Okay.
Take four.
Can we get one of those stuffy things that goes up to like a thousand fifteen hundred
(04:53):
or something?
Laperboard.
Take 29.
Yeah.
And now I've got it.
The skeet I'm in here that's going to give me the shit.
Oh, Lisa bit.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
Winning damage control for flies.
(05:15):
We guess lying in the room where fucked.
Okay.
Oh, dear.
But again, this is just like, I was losing my shit when my husband got home.
He walked in the door and I glared at him like Satan because honestly, the day has just
(05:38):
been a shit show and I just come back from the pet shop because the fucking fish that
I never wanted.
Watching algae growing everywhere and so after the day that I've had, then I've got
to kind of shift gear into that so that I have to live with killing the fucking fish.
(06:00):
Our gears are gone this week.
I'll trade you now, you fish for an epileptic dog.
Oh, I know, right?
Fun times.
It's just, it's for all the kind of organizing and planning.
It's when the things don't go to plan that it's hard and I didn't, I didn't used to feel
(06:23):
that I was not adaptable.
I think I'm quite good at winging it and I think you are too, but I don't, I can't
do it that way anymore.
I think we go where, but we notice, we notice the balls being picked everywhere now.
Like, I think I've always done it, but I don't know.
(06:44):
Yeah, I don't know.
I think some, well, it's, I think it's having to be the prefrontal cortex for children too,
isn't it?
And, you know, the engine room of the household and I mean, here I am fucking whining and
I've got a husband who I can, you know, scale that and you're single mumming it.
(07:06):
I don't know how you do that because that's just a whole next level of never getting a
break.
But I'm saying that I've also less, one person less to the package.
Like, I mean, you've got the comparison of before and after, right?
And I'm here in this going, you know, I don't want to, you know, throw my husband in the
(07:28):
dumpster with your shit computer, but there are moments where I like, would it be easier
to not have, because there's this constant desire to be able to outsource some of the
shit in my brain to someone else to worry about.
And I raise it and I get what seems like an acknowledgement of the request and then it
(07:49):
aligns, for example, with the fish.
I said, I need you to be that fish expert because I'm the ADHD child rearing expert.
I'm also the short order cook and I'm the only one that knows how to balance the chemicals
in the pool.
And, okay, he does the lawns and he's great with the laundry and I'm making it sound like
an asshole and he's not a complete one.
(08:10):
But there are these things like the pets and the kids and the birthday party that's happening
at the weekend that I'm forward planning for.
So that shit's all inside my head.
And I'm like, can you be the fish expert?
And he read the paperwork, but didn't do anything about a fish.
So it's just like, how do you, how do you get to outsource that stuff?
(08:35):
And I did see Elon Musk announced his robot army of autonomous robots.
He said, we'll be able to buy the groceries and clean the house and Brian, who needs a
husband, right?
You know, not to me.
He will try.
Yeah.
(08:56):
It's just that, that and we can get into this, but it's that primed for whatever is coming
our way that we've instinctively lived with three kid, but it just, it goes up a whole
level when you have kids, doesn't it?
Yeah.
And I think single mummy and that's what I've had to do is like really get realistic with
(09:18):
what I can manage.
Like it was just hard for ADHD brain because I'm like, yeah, yeah, I can manage everything
until like, but I burn out.
Yeah.
I really had to strip it back and just go, you know what, that's a no.
Like tonight page three something at me last minute, big meltdown like, why don't you go
into this, but I needed to pick her up.
(09:39):
And I was like, you know what, that's just a no.
Yeah.
Can't have all the things and all the right.
No fish.
Like I'm saying no to fish, no to extras.
I've killing all my plants cause like watering them even is too much of an extra job sometimes.
Like I started off trying to have the yard and the, the, and I just got to go this season
(10:02):
can't do that.
That's like really, really, I really look at that stuff now.
As best I can until I get a hyper focus and start having fun with something.
Right.
Well, maybe you can, maybe you can teach me that skill because I still try and do, I'm
better than I used to be, but I do still try and do all the things.
(10:28):
And I've relaxed my standards a lot from where they used to be, but I'm curious about whether
you've got like a system in your head about where the line in the sand is on that stuff.
It's my wellbeing now.
I, which I used to think was selfish and just suck it all up.
And it was all about the kids wellbeing until I realized that if I don't do my wellbeing,
(10:51):
their wellbeing goes to the toilet too.
Cause they got a mum that just can't function.
Right.
So my gauge is my wellbeing.
Like if I'm a mess and something's off now that I know at least my ADHD, I'm like, oh,
this is a sign.
What do I need to look at?
Cause this is just off.
Right.
It's fumbling.
And I'm just wondering cause with my kids, if I say yes to something one day and then
(11:15):
another day it's a no, that creates a real challenge to them.
How do you?
Yeah.
Cause if my boy has been really hard work, so I don't, I really think about my yeses.
And if it is a one off yes that I haven't thought through as a permanent routine, I tell, I,
I talk to him about it now, but I couldn't do that when he was eight.
(11:39):
But now he's like, I planted the seeds back then, but now I can say to him, okay, you
realize if we do this, this time, like even getting subway on a set day after an activity,
if I did it once, he'd want to expect that every time after that activity.
And if I wasn't prepared at that time to make it a full time routine and a thing, I actually
(12:03):
have to like check it.
Like I have to put it in there, like I'm program it into the data system.
Right.
Like I am eight.
We're doing this this week, but that doesn't mean you can nag me for it next week.
This isn't a set thing.
And that requires forward planning to be able to access that in the moment.
And that, I'd like that takes practice as a parent and a lot of fucking tantrums to
(12:30):
get to that point.
Oh, well, it hasn't been pretty girlfriend.
And try co-parenting as well when I used to do that.
Like, and then you got two sets of stuff.
Yeah.
It hasn't been pretty, but like I think I had to, it was part of my coping strategies
and I just had to do it over time and figure it out.
(12:51):
And yeah, cause I, it is just me.
It's all on me.
I had to.
Yeah.
But yeah, you do what you have to do.
And it's interesting that point on coping strategies, because I think that it's so easy
to fall into automatic responses to these challenges that come up, particularly when you're talking
about parenting kids before you know that there's ADHD in the mix and generally for a lot of
(13:17):
us, oh my God, just get over it.
Right.
That's what it looked like.
We're not getting, wait, deal with it.
Right.
And, and then, you know, it would just escalate and escalate or accumulate over time.
And then there'd be more maladaptive behaviors on top of maladaptive behaviors and then add
into that as a mom not knowing that you're dealing with ADHD.
(13:40):
I mean, it took me a while for the penny to drop for me.
And I thought I knew a reasonable about ADHD cause my brother was diagnosed as a kid and
I'm like, well, I know what that looks like, but each person's a different profile.
Yeah.
And that's the kicker that everyone, no one realizes that one.
(14:01):
Hey, that everyone.
And you know, I always explain it every one of us a hundred times.
Like I look at ADHD, ADHD like this, like those lines on a hospital thing.
And I reckon we're all at different peaks on both, like just a total blend of some people
have more spikes here, some have more spikes over here.
And I think that's where it gets complicated.
(14:24):
And that's where the man family dynamics are complicated to like juggling and prioritizing
what to where to put the fire out at what time to stop the other fire from when I made
the HD myself.
It's, yeah, it's, it's been really complex.
That's why I simplify.
I had to just strip it, strip it back, I think.
(14:45):
And I just kept stripping to filter through the noise and I don't know how I did it.
Yeah.
I think I've done a version, I did a version of that.
I'm not perfect either.
Like it's still.
I know, but I just trying to think about it because at the moment where I'm at right
(15:07):
now, I'm like, why can't I do less so that I've got the bandwidth for the things that
I really want to do.
And I can feel myself beating myself up about it at the moment, right?
Internally.
But I'm, as you were saying that I'm, you know, reminded of how our lives were.
(15:29):
That is nine now when he was five, four and a half, five.
We reduced our world a lot.
Like I wasn't working.
I was, my, my focus was on maintaining a routine and an equilibrium for them.
And my time when they were at school was really avoiding any noise so that I had the reserve
(15:58):
of patience and I appreciate, you know, not everyone has that luxury of not working full
time, but I just, you know, it was bad.
You know, he, he was, he was talking in a very heavy self-harming framing and that,
(16:27):
that was the choice I put him, him and my other son before myself at that point really.
Yeah.
And I think that's, I used to as well because yeah, there's a big difference in the age
because I remember sitting at that age and I remember him at nine, like every year it
changes with the, but what's always been there is the big passion and the big, like big words
(16:51):
and the big, and that's the thing like, I don't know about Hardy, but there's been big
words at me too that make you go, you know, you suck.
Right.
They say some big, big things and it's, yeah.
I mean, definitely I, I felt a heavy load of sailing and it was, it was, it was a lot
(17:13):
to unpack because it's, it kind of, my journey was not a failure to launch journey like it
is for some people, some people start, start and stop, start and stop, start and stop in
career or relationships or life and I mean ADHD people when I, when I say that and then
I found my thing and did it my own way and, and you know, achieved a fairly reasonable
(17:39):
degree of success as a creative director and living in London and having a really good
existence.
And I thought, well, I can do all of that shit, why can't I be a mom?
Like it, it felt like I'd achieved some pretty big shit like moving to London on my own and
building a career and a life and, you know, meeting my husband and like I always say,
(18:00):
the kids, they put all your coping mechanisms on a cart and they take that cart out bush
and they set it on fire.
That's what I mean.
And you got to like, and you just got to read, you've got to just redo it all and that's
so hard for us.
Like ADHD gets easy.
That's the thing when you nail the, you put things in place, like, you know, keep holes
(18:21):
shit and like we do all that over the, cause whatever annoys us, we put something in place
to counteract it.
Then when kids come, you can't do that fast enough with all their moods and all their stuff
and managing their ADHD and where's their shoes and fuck.
Right.
And I think I never thought of myself as a solitary person, but I, I look back now and
(18:43):
I can see how much time I took for myself where I, I, I wasn't talking to people because
I've got five fucking voices in my head on a good moment.
It's, it's too much.
They need their time to work the shit out.
Right.
(19:03):
Right.
And then, you know, doing those things like watching mind numbing shows, like after the
day that I've had and it just, it really felt like a, a rising, you know, fresher all afternoon
after I stared at my husband like Satan when he walked in.
I, I thought I have, I'm not going to be able to sit down and do this with you.
(19:25):
I'm going to be so dysregulated.
It's going to be, you know, I'm just not going to be able to access the words or have a conversation.
I'm just going to come on and unload on you, which I didn't want to do.
But now I'm probably doing it anyway.
And I plugged into an episode of Real Housewise and cooked the dinner and people were talking
(19:47):
to me and I'm going, and I had my ear, ear time.
In.
Yeah.
Cause I just couldn't, I just couldn't.
And actually it was, it really quietened the noise.
Yeah.
Brain says, stop, done.
I just wanted to quickly circle back and then we can move on.
But you know, you were talking about the lines of ASD, ADHD or neurodiversity broadly.
(20:13):
And I wanted to ask you as a practitioner how, well, A, how other prats perceive that
and B, how clients take that.
Cause I can imagine for some people it's a controversial thought or opinion.
People are scared of it.
(20:34):
They really are.
And I think because of the stereotype, they, cause I have to say sometimes, like obviously
I build good rapport with them before I bust stuff out.
People seem to take me okay.
But yeah, sometimes I'm like, I forget cause I'm in a good place with it.
And I just look at it different now, which is such a relief.
(20:55):
But yeah.
And I forget.
Like I, I used to, you know, you do.
People look at it like a dis.
I hate, I hate it being, you know, even in like data systems for work, it's disability
does my head in cause I just, you know, it can be, it can be crippling and feel like
it's disability when it's, when we're not supported and we're not heard and it's not
(21:17):
managed, it can be that way, but it, it doesn't have to be that way.
People, people underestimate it a lot.
What I see, um, cracks and people that have it, um, really underestimate it.
Underestimate it how?
So I think they think, um, I think they think that they can just, uh, like it's major depression
(21:42):
or anxiety or this like, or, you know, they go to the big things.
Cause when it's not managing your best of those, right, that mindset, it can get really
big and really crippling.
But then I've, I've walked them through it and seen the turnaround and how simple that
can be as well.
And that's blown me away.
Um, and I think cracks and everyone underestimate the, the person under the ADHD and ASD and
(22:10):
what we're capable of.
And, um, they under, they underestimate the power of language, negative and positive.
And for me, and I've seen it, like, I don't read this in text.
Like we do read it in textbooks, but I practiced it and seen it in so many big cases that I've
had that are, you know, pretty dire straight.
(22:35):
Um, yeah.
Some people do feel like it's a swear word.
Um, yeah.
And I think, I mean, I had this conversation not so long ago with an organizational team.
They were terrified of ascending anyone and yet, neurodiversity was in a broad disability
(22:59):
piece.
And they said, oh, you know, how do you, how do you feel about that?
And I said, well, I think it's really important that the individual, it has agency over self
identity, right?
For me personally, I don't see my ADHD and my kids ADHD as a disability.
(23:21):
And I have clients, you know, young people that come into my rooms who I don't see as
disabled cause the very word is, is kind of not able.
That's what it means.
And it, and it, you carry that with you and it, and it impacts your ability, I believe
(23:43):
cognitively to overcome certain challenges.
And I think mindset is a huge, yeah, the fear takes over.
Right.
Yeah.
The fear of it.
People get scared of it then when they feel like they can't control it and then you can't
get into supports and you can't get meds.
So people panic more and it's like this desperate.
No.
And I was, I was one of those when like, when Ben got diagnosed and then, and I got diagnosed
(24:08):
a bit after.
And then when I started flipping the script on it and chilling out in it and getting comfy
in it.
And I forget to like, I had a conversation with one of my best mates and I heard she
didn't like me using the label and I was like, yeah, but I need to use my label as an excuse
or a weakness.
That's your issue.
Not my thing.
Like for me, it's empowering.
(24:29):
I know what it is now and I'm, I've learnt to be really comfy in it and embrace it and
not fear it.
And now I can laugh when my arse is sticking out of the wheelie bin like, and I've lost
my keys and thought, that's where I'm at.
Like, but that's the difference.
Cause yeah.
And that's the difference.
Cause I remember a time where I would have had it stink and melt down at myself over
(24:50):
that, like lost it.
But these days I'm just like, good old ADHD.
Love it.
And I don't know the moment.
So it's frustrating.
It is.
But I think, I think that the ability to identify the way that we want to and use the language
that we want to use is really important.
(25:11):
So anybody who has neurodiversity or a disability or a difference or who is any kind of minority
group or any other human being, every human being on the planet.
Exactly.
And I think that's the opportunity to be treated fairly and kindly and you know, with empathy
(25:33):
and respect.
And I think it can be difficult when the perception is so narrow of what this thing
is.
And, and we touched on this before, but the, you know, the conditioning and the way I had
to, I was parenting my child was that automatic parenting, some of which I'd grown up with.
(25:55):
But as I, I don't, I'm feeling a sense of being out of control in this.
And I don't, I'm not, I'm aware of what I'm doing, but I can't control my frustration.
And to me, overwhelm comes out as anger.
And you know, same.
It's just so not understood really how it impacts us.
(26:18):
And I think it's, it's good to be able to have honest conversations.
And show it in action and acknowledge that even when in some domains we've got our shit
together in others or just in certain moments, like, you know, talking for an hour and a
half today and the record button decided to not work.
(26:42):
But that's what ADHD is like.
They can be, and this is what confuses people too, I think, in another area we underestimate
is like, we can be totally nailing life one second, like at work.
I could, well, you know what I did, you remember last week you said, how you doing?
I'm like, yeah, I'm actually really good.
And then I think it was like an hour later.
I don't know what happened.
Shit just hit the fan.
I don't know what happened.
(27:03):
I can't even remember now, but I think it was just the overwhelming tide and the things
just kept creeping up.
Well, they probably were.
And but I don't know.
No one asked me how it was and I was just getting on with it.
And then boom, like it can just really work.
And it gets crippling and it gets, you know, you do like you can cry in a heap and be all
(27:26):
that.
But yeah, like, and I'm lucky my workmates, I do have that safe space now where you're
not judged for stuff like that.
They know Lisa and I can, they know that all the good parts and they know the crippling
parts and I've never had that in a place.
I'm very lucky and it's such a good feeling to have no judgment.
(27:48):
And it does make me better in daily life and everyday life, not having, I'm really lucky.
I don't think I've got the comparison.
I think a lot of people don't.
Like I've been in the toxic places and the masking and I don't need to do that anymore.
And I'm so free now.
Well, I think it can be really hard to find environments like that without significant
(28:12):
self advocacy.
And I'm, you know, sitting here reflecting as you're saying that on my own career and
thinking, well, I wasn't able to necessarily find places like that.
I'm really lucky it's so rare.
Right.
And I was a freelancer and a consultant for the majority of my career precisely because
I learned early on that it doesn't work for me to be within, you know, certain control
(28:38):
dynamics or hierarchies because that sense of freedom is really important to me.
But the bit you were touching on is that safety piece.
Like you can't do great work if you feel like you can't be your whole self because some
days it is a shit show on wheels with, you know, streamers flying out the back.
(29:01):
Yeah.
And I've got a team and management that acknowledge I can do two hours.
I can do like three days worth of work in two hours.
And some days I probably don't do a lot, but it's like because they let me work in my
peaks and my areas of strength.
And I reckon my outcomes would be like still above Afrid.
(29:24):
Right.
And I think it's, I think that is incredible.
And I think I had my own version of that in the work that I did and I always felt in control
and, and safe, but that's because I was able to sit outside the org structure as a consultant.
(29:45):
And it's like, these are the hours that I work.
I'm not going to be involved in your internal politics.
And one of the things I've realized, and I've actually only just made that link now as I
was saying it, I know that emotional stuff in relationships is the stuff that really
does me in, in terms of those things take me longer to process.
(30:11):
I have to pause longer on those things.
Yeah.
Same.
Whereas other crises I can like, you know, I'm great with a, you know, a main arterial
sort of blood situation or a broken bone or those sort of things.
I'm, you know, those crises I'm great in, but like emotional crisis just completely
(30:37):
derail me and take me, yeah, take me time to work through and process.
Yeah.
I don't even remember what the point was that I was trying to make there.
I just wanted to.
Yeah.
I just wanted to.
I was trying to think too, where do we start and where are we finishing?
(30:57):
But why don't we get on to what we actually plan to talk about?
Said no ADHD person ever.
This is going to be.
I love this already.
Just so good.
Welcome to Bond World where we covered 20 topics in five weeks.
(31:19):
And don't say the actual thing that we did just we did a week's worth of planning on.
If you want the outcome on what we talked about, check into the next episode.
Yeah.
Or just, you know, download the fucking worksheet and we won't do it.
We've moved on with board now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We do have visuals if you want to do your own research.
(31:40):
Thanks so much for joining us for our first ever episode.
This could quite literally have been a failure to launch situation because so many of us
struggle when things don't go to plan.
But today you got to hear the real deal in action.
And really the moral of today's conversation is quite simple.
(32:01):
The difference between winning and something turning into a shit show on wheels is two
fold.
We embrace a coaching mindset and we also operate within a really supportive environment.
The coaching mindset allows us to use our mistakes as learning experiences rather than
failures.
But this only works if the environment is supportive enough to allow us to be our whole
(32:25):
selves.
And so we know that when we hit our ADHD sweet spot, that's when we're at our most brilliant.
But we have to roll with the punches a bit.
And every day we work on our mindset to embrace who we are and use our brilliant ADHD brains
to inspire people just like you to embrace yours.
(32:45):
But we also lift each other up when we need it most and to be able to function optimally,
we need to feel safe enough to make mistakes and that we see those mistakes not as failures
but as opportunities to learn.
I know for a lot of you listening, you'll be sitting there thinking great, you know,
(33:07):
how am I going to achieve that when I'm maybe stuck in a job that I don't love in an environment
that doesn't serve me.
But that's kind of the whole point here is that over time we're going to share with you
lots of strategies that we use as coaches to continue to do the work, to be able to show
up using our strengths and being our most authentic selves.
(33:29):
Because that is at the heart of all of it when we truly understand who we are and what
makes us tick and how our brains need to function within the context of ADHD, then
we're able to really harness the best of who we are and be productive and live fulfilling
lives.
So that's the whole point of the work that Lisa and I are doing here and we hope that
(33:53):
you join us for the long run.
So on that note, our next episode is the one that we did all the planning for that we intended
to record and share with you today so you'll get to enjoy that next time.
And really we've got a bone to pick with Karen and her skanky mate, so over there attempts
(34:13):
to cancel our buddy Dave Grohl over his recent missteps.
So tune in for that tasty little bite.
If you'd like to know more about us then feel free to stop by our website at brndwld.com
forward slash podcast and you can also pre-register for the Bourne Wild membership which is coming
soon.
(34:34):
Places will be limited so sign up and we'll save you a seat on the fun bus at brndwld.com
forward slash register or follow us on the socials at brndwld.com.
Thanks for stopping by, stay wild and we'll see you next time.
Welcome to the Born Wild ADHD podcast.
(00:04):
I'm Justine and together with my partner in Chaos Lisa, we're here to get loud, have
a laugh, share some knowledge and keep it real about living with ADHD.
Welcome to Born Wild where we covered 20 topics in 5 weeks.
And don't say the actual thing that we did a week's worth of planning on, said no ADHD
person ever.
(00:25):
If you want the outcome of what we talked about, check into the next episode.
Or just, you know, download the fucking worksheet and we won't do it.
We've moved on with Corde now.
Yeah, we do have visuals if you want to do your own research.
But look, why don't we get on to what we actually planned to talk about?
This is going to be hilarious.
(00:47):
I love this already.
Just hope so good.
We didn't fucking record any of it.
Fuck my life.
Oh my god, Lisa.
I'm so loud.
But, classic.
Sorry I didn't say no, but you've got to click the fucking button twice.
Who does that?
Oh my god.
(01:07):
Fuck it.
You've got to click it again.
Let's fuck off.
I'm so sorry.
I'm going to have to join the library again.
That's alright.
We'll do it again.
Lisa, that was a practice run.
All right.
I adore you.
I'll let them.
We'll fucking double check the double.
I'm going to have to eat the whole fucking Snickers bars now.
(01:27):
I'll have some more.
I call it my pre-workout, but I'll be right.
Let's do it today so you're not angry.
I mean, this is probably the beginning to the podcast, isn't it?
It's me just going, I mean, fucking record it.
I mean, just love it.
It's just sticky.
It's the funniest shit ever.
And me just dying quietly inside.
(01:48):
I'm out in a damage control.
It's okay.
We're just recording against that.
It's fine.
Am I just going to, let's just do it again so we don't procrastinate and fucking get
it done.
Agreed.
Don't, don't even think it.
Don't be.
We'll laugh.
We'll fucking use this anyway and we'll do it again straight away.
Don't stress.
All right.
Well, welcome back to the Wildly ADHD podcast where we forget to record our shit.
(02:15):
We do the same session three times.
Yeah.
That was an interesting experience today and I am keen to talk about it for our next episode
because I just think it is ADHD traits in action and Monday did not go to plan today.
(02:43):
And like not bad bad, but it was this cumulative thing and I think it'd be really interesting
to unpack that.
The people listening because it's just, it's the real deal.
Yeah.
And I think this is new to both of us like the, or new into the routine or the work that
we're doing on top of our load without reassessing.
(03:04):
Yeah.
Yeah.
That's a whole, a whole topic.
Yeah.
It's a whole thing or fire.
Yeah.
I can't, that echo is going to suck me.
I can't hear it.
I can't hear it.
So what would it be?
So every time I'm on my tour, there's a delay on my vocal, your side.
So I'm wondering if you needed to jump into some headphones.
(03:26):
Have you got headphones?
Yeah.
Yeah.
I have to go get, sorry.
I just think if, because I'm not going to be able to think straight.
No, I'm the same.
If I was hearing it, I couldn't think.
Hang on.
I've got to watch Lisa connect Bluetooth air potty things for the first time.
This will be amusing.
Do I leave them in the box?
No, you put them in your ears.
(03:48):
Love.
Do you mean to connect them?
I can't hear you.
You can't hear me.
What happened to your sound?
Put them in.
No.
Maybe you can.
Hang on.
We're trying to go in which ear.
I told you this will be exciting.
So they must connect automatically.
Hang on.
I've got to put them back in the box.
I know which ear is what.
Can you hear me?
(04:10):
Yes.
No.
How many ADHD girls have to do a podcast seamlessly?
Or how many tries?
Oh my God.
Yeah.
It's a bit, the volume's crappy and they're beeping at me.
But that's totally because I got to adjust something now.
Do I?
Yeah.
Is the echo gone?
(04:30):
Yes.
Thank the Lord, baby Jesus.
Oh, I know what the beeping is.
Here's a two ultra flash for me.
So you can actually control this shit with them.
Yeah, I've never used them before.
Yeah, I've just got to not touch them.
Okay.
Lisa wearing head fuckers.
All right.
Okay.
Take four.
Can we get one of those stuffy things that goes up to like a thousand fifteen hundred
(04:53):
or something?
Laperboard.
Take 29.
Yeah.
And now I've got it.
The skeet I'm in here that's going to give me the shit.
Oh, Lisa bit.
Oh, no.
Oh, shit.
Winning damage control for flies.
(05:15):
We guess lying in the room where fucked.
Okay.
Oh, dear.
But again, this is just like, I was losing my shit when my husband got home.
He walked in the door and I glared at him like Satan because honestly, the day has just
(05:38):
been a shit show and I just come back from the pet shop because the fucking fish that
I never wanted.
Watching algae growing everywhere and so after the day that I've had, then I've got
to kind of shift gear into that so that I have to live with killing the fucking fish.
(06:00):
Our gears are gone this week.
I'll trade you now, you fish for an epileptic dog.
Oh, I know, right?
Fun times.
It's just, it's for all the kind of organizing and planning.
It's when the things don't go to plan that it's hard and I didn't, I didn't used to feel
(06:23):
that I was not adaptable.
I think I'm quite good at winging it and I think you are too, but I don't, I can't
do it that way anymore.
I think we go where, but we notice, we notice the balls being picked everywhere now.
Like, I think I've always done it, but I don't know.
(06:44):
Yeah, I don't know.
I think some, well, it's, I think it's having to be the prefrontal cortex for children too,
isn't it?
And, you know, the engine room of the household and I mean, here I am fucking whining and
I've got a husband who I can, you know, scale that and you're single mumming it.
(07:06):
I don't know how you do that because that's just a whole next level of never getting a
break.
But I'm saying that I've also less, one person less to the package.
Like, I mean, you've got the comparison of before and after, right?
And I'm here in this going, you know, I don't want to, you know, throw my husband in the
(07:28):
dumpster with your shit computer, but there are moments where I like, would it be easier
to not have, because there's this constant desire to be able to outsource some of the
shit in my brain to someone else to worry about.
And I raise it and I get what seems like an acknowledgement of the request and then it
(07:49):
aligns, for example, with the fish.
I said, I need you to be that fish expert because I'm the ADHD child rearing expert.
I'm also the short order cook and I'm the only one that knows how to balance the chemicals
in the pool.
And, okay, he does the lawns and he's great with the laundry and I'm making it sound like
an asshole and he's not a complete one.
(08:10):
But there are these things like the pets and the kids and the birthday party that's happening
at the weekend that I'm forward planning for.
So that shit's all inside my head.
And I'm like, can you be the fish expert?
And he read the paperwork, but didn't do anything about a fish.
So it's just like, how do you, how do you get to outsource that stuff?
(08:35):
And I did see Elon Musk announced his robot army of autonomous robots.
He said, we'll be able to buy the groceries and clean the house and Brian, who needs a
husband, right?
You know, not to me.
He will try.
Yeah.
(08:56):
It's just that, that and we can get into this, but it's that primed for whatever is coming
our way that we've instinctively lived with three kid, but it just, it goes up a whole
level when you have kids, doesn't it?
Yeah.
And I think single mummy and that's what I've had to do is like really get realistic with
(09:18):
what I can manage.
Like it was just hard for ADHD brain because I'm like, yeah, yeah, I can manage everything
until like, but I burn out.
Yeah.
I really had to strip it back and just go, you know what, that's a no.
Like tonight page three something at me last minute, big meltdown like, why don't you go
into this, but I needed to pick her up.
(09:39):
And I was like, you know what, that's just a no.
Yeah.
Can't have all the things and all the right.
No fish.
Like I'm saying no to fish, no to extras.
I've killing all my plants cause like watering them even is too much of an extra job sometimes.
Like I started off trying to have the yard and the, the, and I just got to go this season
(10:02):
can't do that.
That's like really, really, I really look at that stuff now.
As best I can until I get a hyper focus and start having fun with something.
Right.
Well, maybe you can, maybe you can teach me that skill because I still try and do, I'm
better than I used to be, but I do still try and do all the things.
(10:28):
And I've relaxed my standards a lot from where they used to be, but I'm curious about whether
you've got like a system in your head about where the line in the sand is on that stuff.
It's my wellbeing now.
I, which I used to think was selfish and just suck it all up.
And it was all about the kids wellbeing until I realized that if I don't do my wellbeing,
(10:51):
their wellbeing goes to the toilet too.
Cause they got a mum that just can't function.
Right.
So my gauge is my wellbeing.
Like if I'm a mess and something's off now that I know at least my ADHD, I'm like, oh,
this is a sign.
What do I need to look at?
Cause this is just off.
Right.
It's fumbling.
And I'm just wondering cause with my kids, if I say yes to something one day and then
(11:15):
another day it's a no, that creates a real challenge to them.
How do you?
Yeah.
Cause if my boy has been really hard work, so I don't, I really think about my yeses.
And if it is a one off yes that I haven't thought through as a permanent routine, I tell, I,
I talk to him about it now, but I couldn't do that when he was eight.
(11:39):
But now he's like, I planted the seeds back then, but now I can say to him, okay, you
realize if we do this, this time, like even getting subway on a set day after an activity,
if I did it once, he'd want to expect that every time after that activity.
And if I wasn't prepared at that time to make it a full time routine and a thing, I actually
(12:03):
have to like check it.
Like I have to put it in there, like I'm program it into the data system.
Right.
Like I am eight.
We're doing this this week, but that doesn't mean you can nag me for it next week.
This isn't a set thing.
And that requires forward planning to be able to access that in the moment.
And that, I'd like that takes practice as a parent and a lot of fucking tantrums to
(12:30):
get to that point.
Oh, well, it hasn't been pretty girlfriend.
And try co-parenting as well when I used to do that.
Like, and then you got two sets of stuff.
Yeah.
It hasn't been pretty, but like I think I had to, it was part of my coping strategies
and I just had to do it over time and figure it out.
(12:51):
And yeah, cause I, it is just me.
It's all on me.
I had to.
Yeah.
But yeah, you do what you have to do.
And it's interesting that point on coping strategies, because I think that it's so easy
to fall into automatic responses to these challenges that come up, particularly when you're talking
about parenting kids before you know that there's ADHD in the mix and generally for a lot of
(13:17):
us, oh my God, just get over it.
Right.
That's what it looked like.
We're not getting, wait, deal with it.
Right.
And, and then, you know, it would just escalate and escalate or accumulate over time.
And then there'd be more maladaptive behaviors on top of maladaptive behaviors and then add
into that as a mom not knowing that you're dealing with ADHD.
(13:40):
I mean, it took me a while for the penny to drop for me.
And I thought I knew a reasonable about ADHD cause my brother was diagnosed as a kid and
I'm like, well, I know what that looks like, but each person's a different profile.
Yeah.
And that's the kicker that everyone, no one realizes that one.
(14:01):
Hey, that everyone.
And you know, I always explain it every one of us a hundred times.
Like I look at ADHD, ADHD like this, like those lines on a hospital thing.
And I reckon we're all at different peaks on both, like just a total blend of some people
have more spikes here, some have more spikes over here.
And I think that's where it gets complicated.
(14:24):
And that's where the man family dynamics are complicated to like juggling and prioritizing
what to where to put the fire out at what time to stop the other fire from when I made
the HD myself.
It's, yeah, it's, it's been really complex.
That's why I simplify.
I had to just strip it, strip it back, I think.
(14:45):
And I just kept stripping to filter through the noise and I don't know how I did it.
Yeah.
I think I've done a version, I did a version of that.
I'm not perfect either.
Like it's still.
I know, but I just trying to think about it because at the moment where I'm at right
(15:07):
now, I'm like, why can't I do less so that I've got the bandwidth for the things that
I really want to do.
And I can feel myself beating myself up about it at the moment, right?
Internally.
But I'm, as you were saying that I'm, you know, reminded of how our lives were.
(15:29):
That is nine now when he was five, four and a half, five.
We reduced our world a lot.
Like I wasn't working.
I was, my, my focus was on maintaining a routine and an equilibrium for them.
And my time when they were at school was really avoiding any noise so that I had the reserve
(15:58):
of patience and I appreciate, you know, not everyone has that luxury of not working full
time, but I just, you know, it was bad.
You know, he, he was, he was talking in a very heavy self-harming framing and that,
(16:27):
that was the choice I put him, him and my other son before myself at that point really.
Yeah.
And I think that's, I used to as well because yeah, there's a big difference in the age
because I remember sitting at that age and I remember him at nine, like every year it
changes with the, but what's always been there is the big passion and the big, like big words
(16:51):
and the big, and that's the thing like, I don't know about Hardy, but there's been big
words at me too that make you go, you know, you suck.
Right.
They say some big, big things and it's, yeah.
I mean, definitely I, I felt a heavy load of sailing and it was, it was, it was a lot
(17:13):
to unpack because it's, it kind of, my journey was not a failure to launch journey like it
is for some people, some people start, start and stop, start and stop, start and stop in
career or relationships or life and I mean ADHD people when I, when I say that and then
I found my thing and did it my own way and, and you know, achieved a fairly reasonable
(17:39):
degree of success as a creative director and living in London and having a really good
existence.
And I thought, well, I can do all of that shit, why can't I be a mom?
Like it, it felt like I'd achieved some pretty big shit like moving to London on my own and
building a career and a life and, you know, meeting my husband and like I always say,
(18:00):
the kids, they put all your coping mechanisms on a cart and they take that cart out bush
and they set it on fire.
That's what I mean.
And you got to like, and you just got to read, you've got to just redo it all and that's
so hard for us.
Like ADHD gets easy.
That's the thing when you nail the, you put things in place, like, you know, keep holes
(18:21):
shit and like we do all that over the, cause whatever annoys us, we put something in place
to counteract it.
Then when kids come, you can't do that fast enough with all their moods and all their stuff
and managing their ADHD and where's their shoes and fuck.
Right.
And I think I never thought of myself as a solitary person, but I, I look back now and
(18:43):
I can see how much time I took for myself where I, I, I wasn't talking to people because
I've got five fucking voices in my head on a good moment.
It's, it's too much.
They need their time to work the shit out.
Right.
(19:03):
Right.
And then, you know, doing those things like watching mind numbing shows, like after the
day that I've had and it just, it really felt like a, a rising, you know, fresher all afternoon
after I stared at my husband like Satan when he walked in.
I, I thought I have, I'm not going to be able to sit down and do this with you.
(19:25):
I'm going to be so dysregulated.
It's going to be, you know, I'm just not going to be able to access the words or have a conversation.
I'm just going to come on and unload on you, which I didn't want to do.
But now I'm probably doing it anyway.
And I plugged into an episode of Real Housewise and cooked the dinner and people were talking
(19:47):
to me and I'm going, and I had my ear, ear time.
In.
Yeah.
Cause I just couldn't, I just couldn't.
And actually it was, it really quietened the noise.
Yeah.
Brain says, stop, done.
I just wanted to quickly circle back and then we can move on.
But you know, you were talking about the lines of ASD, ADHD or neurodiversity broadly.
(20:13):
And I wanted to ask you as a practitioner how, well, A, how other prats perceive that
and B, how clients take that.
Cause I can imagine for some people it's a controversial thought or opinion.
People are scared of it.
(20:34):
They really are.
And I think because of the stereotype, they, cause I have to say sometimes, like obviously
I build good rapport with them before I bust stuff out.
People seem to take me okay.
But yeah, sometimes I'm like, I forget cause I'm in a good place with it.
And I just look at it different now, which is such a relief.
(20:55):
But yeah.
And I forget.
Like I, I used to, you know, you do.
People look at it like a dis.
I hate, I hate it being, you know, even in like data systems for work, it's disability
does my head in cause I just, you know, it can be, it can be crippling and feel like
it's disability when it's, when we're not supported and we're not heard and it's not
(21:17):
managed, it can be that way, but it, it doesn't have to be that way.
People, people underestimate it a lot.
What I see, um, cracks and people that have it, um, really underestimate it.
Underestimate it how?
So I think they think, um, I think they think that they can just, uh, like it's major depression
(21:42):
or anxiety or this like, or, you know, they go to the big things.
Cause when it's not managing your best of those, right, that mindset, it can get really
big and really crippling.
But then I've, I've walked them through it and seen the turnaround and how simple that
can be as well.
And that's blown me away.
Um, and I think cracks and everyone underestimate the, the person under the ADHD and ASD and
(22:10):
what we're capable of.
And, um, they under, they underestimate the power of language, negative and positive.
And for me, and I've seen it, like, I don't read this in text.
Like we do read it in textbooks, but I practiced it and seen it in so many big cases that I've
had that are, you know, pretty dire straight.
(22:35):
Um, yeah.
Some people do feel like it's a swear word.
Um, yeah.
And I think, I mean, I had this conversation not so long ago with an organizational team.
They were terrified of ascending anyone and yet, neurodiversity was in a broad disability
(22:59):
piece.
And they said, oh, you know, how do you, how do you feel about that?
And I said, well, I think it's really important that the individual, it has agency over self
identity, right?
For me personally, I don't see my ADHD and my kids ADHD as a disability.
(23:21):
And I have clients, you know, young people that come into my rooms who I don't see as
disabled cause the very word is, is kind of not able.
That's what it means.
And it, and it, you carry that with you and it, and it impacts your ability, I believe
(23:43):
cognitively to overcome certain challenges.
And I think mindset is a huge, yeah, the fear takes over.
Right.
Yeah.
The fear of it.
People get scared of it then when they feel like they can't control it and then you can't
get into supports and you can't get meds.
So people panic more and it's like this desperate.
No.
And I was, I was one of those when like, when Ben got diagnosed and then, and I got diagnosed
(24:08):
a bit after.
And then when I started flipping the script on it and chilling out in it and getting comfy
in it.
And I forget to like, I had a conversation with one of my best mates and I heard she
didn't like me using the label and I was like, yeah, but I need to use my label as an excuse
or a weakness.
That's your issue.
Not my thing.
Like for me, it's empowering.
(24:29):
I know what it is now and I'm, I've learnt to be really comfy in it and embrace it and
not fear it.
And now I can laugh when my arse is sticking out of the wheelie bin like, and I've lost
my keys and thought, that's where I'm at.
Like, but that's the difference.
Cause yeah.
And that's the difference.
Cause I remember a time where I would have had it stink and melt down at myself over
(24:50):
that, like lost it.
But these days I'm just like, good old ADHD.
Love it.
And I don't know the moment.
So it's frustrating.
It is.
But I think, I think that the ability to identify the way that we want to and use the language
that we want to use is really important.
(25:11):
So anybody who has neurodiversity or a disability or a difference or who is any kind of minority
group or any other human being, every human being on the planet.
Exactly.
And I think that's the opportunity to be treated fairly and kindly and you know, with empathy
(25:33):
and respect.
And I think it can be difficult when the perception is so narrow of what this thing
is.
And, and we touched on this before, but the, you know, the conditioning and the way I had
to, I was parenting my child was that automatic parenting, some of which I'd grown up with.
(25:55):
But as I, I don't, I'm feeling a sense of being out of control in this.
And I don't, I'm not, I'm aware of what I'm doing, but I can't control my frustration.
And to me, overwhelm comes out as anger.
And you know, same.
It's just so not understood really how it impacts us.
(26:18):
And I think it's, it's good to be able to have honest conversations.
And show it in action and acknowledge that even when in some domains we've got our shit
together in others or just in certain moments, like, you know, talking for an hour and a
half today and the record button decided to not work.
(26:42):
But that's what ADHD is like.
They can be, and this is what confuses people too, I think, in another area we underestimate
is like, we can be totally nailing life one second, like at work.
I could, well, you know what I did, you remember last week you said, how you doing?
I'm like, yeah, I'm actually really good.
And then I think it was like an hour later.
I don't know what happened.
Shit just hit the fan.
I don't know what happened.
(27:03):
I can't even remember now, but I think it was just the overwhelming tide and the things
just kept creeping up.
Well, they probably were.
And but I don't know.
No one asked me how it was and I was just getting on with it.
And then boom, like it can just really work.
And it gets crippling and it gets, you know, you do like you can cry in a heap and be all
(27:26):
that.
But yeah, like, and I'm lucky my workmates, I do have that safe space now where you're
not judged for stuff like that.
They know Lisa and I can, they know that all the good parts and they know the crippling
parts and I've never had that in a place.
I'm very lucky and it's such a good feeling to have no judgment.
(27:48):
And it does make me better in daily life and everyday life, not having, I'm really lucky.
I don't think I've got the comparison.
I think a lot of people don't.
Like I've been in the toxic places and the masking and I don't need to do that anymore.
And I'm so free now.
Well, I think it can be really hard to find environments like that without significant
(28:12):
self advocacy.
And I'm, you know, sitting here reflecting as you're saying that on my own career and
thinking, well, I wasn't able to necessarily find places like that.
I'm really lucky it's so rare.
Right.
And I was a freelancer and a consultant for the majority of my career precisely because
I learned early on that it doesn't work for me to be within, you know, certain control
(28:38):
dynamics or hierarchies because that sense of freedom is really important to me.
But the bit you were touching on is that safety piece.
Like you can't do great work if you feel like you can't be your whole self because some
days it is a shit show on wheels with, you know, streamers flying out the back.
(29:01):
Yeah.
And I've got a team and management that acknowledge I can do two hours.
I can do like three days worth of work in two hours.
And some days I probably don't do a lot, but it's like because they let me work in my
peaks and my areas of strength.
And I reckon my outcomes would be like still above Afrid.
(29:24):
Right.
And I think it's, I think that is incredible.
And I think I had my own version of that in the work that I did and I always felt in control
and, and safe, but that's because I was able to sit outside the org structure as a consultant.
(29:45):
And it's like, these are the hours that I work.
I'm not going to be involved in your internal politics.
And one of the things I've realized, and I've actually only just made that link now as I
was saying it, I know that emotional stuff in relationships is the stuff that really
does me in, in terms of those things take me longer to process.
(30:11):
I have to pause longer on those things.
Yeah.
Same.
Whereas other crises I can like, you know, I'm great with a, you know, a main arterial
sort of blood situation or a broken bone or those sort of things.
I'm, you know, those crises I'm great in, but like emotional crisis just completely
(30:37):
derail me and take me, yeah, take me time to work through and process.
Yeah.
I don't even remember what the point was that I was trying to make there.
I just wanted to.
Yeah.
I just wanted to.
I was trying to think too, where do we start and where are we finishing?
(30:57):
But why don't we get on to what we actually plan to talk about?
Said no ADHD person ever.
This is going to be.
I love this already.
Just so good.
Welcome to Bond World where we covered 20 topics in five weeks.
(31:19):
And don't say the actual thing that we did just we did a week's worth of planning on.
If you want the outcome on what we talked about, check into the next episode.
Yeah.
Or just, you know, download the fucking worksheet and we won't do it.
We've moved on with board now.
Yeah.
Yeah.
We do have visuals if you want to do your own research.
(31:40):
Thanks so much for joining us for our first ever episode.
This could quite literally have been a failure to launch situation because so many of us
struggle when things don't go to plan.
But today you got to hear the real deal in action.
And really the moral of today's conversation is quite simple.
(32:01):
The difference between winning and something turning into a shit show on wheels is two
fold.
We embrace a coaching mindset and we also operate within a really supportive environment.
The coaching mindset allows us to use our mistakes as learning experiences rather than
failures.
But this only works if the environment is supportive enough to allow us to be our whole
(32:25):
selves.
And so we know that when we hit our ADHD sweet spot, that's when we're at our most brilliant.
But we have to roll with the punches a bit.
And every day we work on our mindset to embrace who we are and use our brilliant ADHD brains
to inspire people just like you to embrace yours.
(32:45):
But we also lift each other up when we need it most and to be able to function optimally,
we need to feel safe enough to make mistakes and that we see those mistakes not as failures
but as opportunities to learn.
I know for a lot of you listening, you'll be sitting there thinking great, you know,
(33:07):
how am I going to achieve that when I'm maybe stuck in a job that I don't love in an environment
that doesn't serve me.
But that's kind of the whole point here is that over time we're going to share with you
lots of strategies that we use as coaches to continue to do the work, to be able to show
up using our strengths and being our most authentic selves.
(33:29):
Because that is at the heart of all of it when we truly understand who we are and what
makes us tick and how our brains need to function within the context of ADHD, then
we're able to really harness the best of who we are and be productive and live fulfilling
lives.
So that's the whole point of the work that Lisa and I are doing here and we hope that
(33:53):
you join us for the long run.
So on that note, our next episode is the one that we did all the planning for that we intended
to record and share with you today so you'll get to enjoy that next time.
And really we've got a bone to pick with Karen and her skanky mate, so over there attempts
(34:13):
to cancel our buddy Dave Grohl over his recent missteps.
So tune in for that tasty little bite.
If you'd like to know more about us then feel free to stop by our website at brndwld.com
forward slash podcast and you can also pre-register for the Bourne Wild membership which is coming
soon.
(34:34):
Places will be limited so sign up and we'll save you a seat on the fun bus at brndwld.com
forward slash register or follow us on the socials at brndwld.com.
Thanks for stopping by, stay wild and we'll see you next time.
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