Break the Cycle with Bethany Dotson

When a client recently shared she lost her job of 22 years - it was a huge win - even though it initially sent her in a panic.

Ellen knew 20 years ago, the office she worked for had dysfunctional practices - but convinced her self it was better to stay on board . After all, it wasn't ALL bad.

The same pattern played out in her marriage.

She walked down the aisle knowing in her heart it was a mistake...but stayed. In...

For high-achieving women who leave a narcissistic relationship - the quiet and peace can feel both welcome...and daunting.

Many women on their post-narcissistic healing journey report feeling isolated.

But there's a different kind of isolation that not many people speak about. The kind where you've:

- Achieved more success than ever after leaving...

- In many ways, love your alone time...

- Have a successful caree...

You left your narcissistic Ex, doubled down on your career, and created the success story everyone admires.

So why does your achievement feel like another empty relationship?

In today's episode of Break the Cycle, I'm diving deep on why high achieving women who leave narcissistic Ex's - often burnout in their careers or feel hollow after rebuilding a successful life.

After-all, the greatest achievement isn...

"I'm actually fine being alone."

"If I got to the end of my life and died alone - it wouldn't be that bad"

"Eh, I want a relationship - but I kind a don't"

In this episode we dive into the common belief system of being "fine alone" that many high-achieving women adopt after exiting challenging relationships.

I explore how this mindset is often rooted in past disappointments...

For single, successful women dating again after leaving a narcissistic spouse...

It's happened again.

You called things off with another "almost relationship" before it could really begin.

On one hand, you're proud of yourself for not settling.

Maybe, you've decided (once again) you need to do a little more work on yourself before inviting someone into you life...

But on the other hand, you've walked aw...

You did everything right after your divorce.

Therapy? Check.

Career success? Absolutely.

Self-improvement? You've got certificates to prove it.

You're the queen of 'focusing on yourself' and 'doing the work.'

But here's what no one's talking about:

Why do you still feel stuck?

Why does anxiety still run your life?

Why does dating feel like a minefield, and why does peace feel just out of reach...

"Why do I keep getting men who aren't very enlightened?"

"The men I meet, haven't done ANY work on themselves."

When you're a strong, successful woman who's survived a bitter divorce , betrayal or heartbreak...

And you've spent many months or years working on yourself:

-Therapy

-EMDR

-New accomplishments in your career

-Running clubs

-Book clubs

-Girls weekends in Sedona

-Costa Rica retreat with...

It's not a trauma bond.

It's not the "time" you wasted.

It's often the woman you become after leaving.

Building a successful career.

Curating the perfect, peaceful life.

But hiding behind a mask of workaholism, people pleasing, dating more unavailable men...and feeling stuck.

Even though "stuck" isn't the face you show to the world.

If you're here - or have been here longer than you...

Why is that the first person many high achieving women fall for post-divorce... is an emotionally unavailable or commitment-phobic type who gives her more breadcrumbs?

Why does she continue to find herself in dating situations that leave her wanting more...

When she's thriving in her career...

Has explored herself and healed in therapy after her divorce...

Has taken time off dating...

Has done ALL. THE. RIGHT. THINGS.

Deep down, she kno...

When Katie made the hard decision to do a trial separation from her husband for a year...It devastated her. Deep down, she knew it was the right thing to do. As the years rolled on in her marriage, it was more and more apparent that they had starkly different values...and were drifting further apart. They'd hired an exceptional couples coach to guide them through the process. And over the next 12 months...She felt a rollercoaster o...

You know that pit in your stomach when someone fits all your criteria on paper, but by the 4th date, something feels - off?

Or that anxiety spike when a genuinely nice guy wants to plan a future...And suddenly you're silently picking him apart and finding all the reasons he's not right? Or maybe you're exhausted from: • Overanalyzing every dating profile • Creating elaborate "must-have" lists • Dismissing ...

You've built the home you always dreamed of during your marriage (but never truly had).

No more walking on eggshells.

No more emotional manipulation.

No more chaos.

So why does So why does Sunday brunch with your kids feel like it's missing something?

Why does their careful way of telling you about Dad's new partner feel like a knife twist?

And why, despite your executive title and that master bathroom re...

When single?

You're driven, rocking it in your career, your health and excited about the vision of your life.

But when you fall in love?

It's always with partners who lack your level of ambition, who haven't done any work on themselves, who make you the problem...

And who "leave" you repeatedly in some way.

That could be cheating, emotionally shutting down...or leaving you for an addiction.

WHY? ...

The 2AM googling: "Am I being ghosted?"
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The incessant replaying of convos over and over again.
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Checking your phone 90 times during a workday.
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Maybe they're just busy??
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​If you've been in the dating pool long enough, you've likely experienced ghosting.
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What can make this even more painful, is doing everything right this time.
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You set boundaries.
You took it slo...

You held onto your marriage for dear life.

You might have even walked down the aisle secretly knowing it was a mistake...but too afraid to let someone down.

You're educated. You have a wonderful career.

And you rebuilt really well after your divorce...

For the most part, life is GOOD.

Except your dating life.

There's a pattern of either:

A) Avoiding it entirely

B) Dating people who don't have time for you, use you or who lack your s...

Remember her? The version of you before your Ex?

The one who laughed easily, trusted freely, and dove into life head-first?

I know you've tried everything to find her again - therapy, healing workshops, maybe even the spiritual retreats.

But here's the truth that changed everything for me: We're not meant to go backwards.

In today's episode, I'm sharing why chasing your "old self" might be the very thing k...

You've ticked all the boxes since leaving an emotionally abusive Ex:

1. Many months of therapy and EMDR? ✅

2. Focusing on your career and your kids ✅

3. Taking up new hobbies and reconnecting with old friends ✅

4. Even dating again...✅

But the few attempts you've had have been complete disappointments...

...And have soured your already shaky opinions about dating later in life.

You're go to statement? I don't have enough time for this!...

Your standards aren't too high.

You're (mostly) at peace with your Ex spouse.

You've had countless therapy sessions.

You've dove headlong into your career, racking up CEUs, additional responsibilities...and for the most part are doing REALLY WELL in this part of life.

But when it comes to your love life?

Partners who don't want anything "serious", friends with benefits, ghosting, people not on your level or who lack your level of motiv...

Still find yourself Googling narcissism at 2AM, even though it's been many months or YEARS...

And a part of you knows "you should be over this by now?"

You're successful, respected in your field, and everyone says how "strong" you are for rebuilding your life.

Your kids see your strength...

Yet in quiet moments, you still catch yourself wondering about his new relationship or feeling like an imposter in...