December 16, 2024 • 63 mins
Breaking Barriers: Beyond the Finish Line - Episode 005: Josh Chessman
In Episode 005 of “Breaking Barriers: Beyond the Finish Line,” hosts Lou Greco of Titan 6 Actual and Sarah Grippi-Snyder of 3GX Mental Performance Training sit down with special guest Josh Chessman.
In this episode, Josh Chessman talks about how he is a seasoned holistic health coach and human optimization expert with over 15 years of experience. He helps clients break barriers and achieve extraordinary results. As a top personal trainer in Canada, Josh redefines fitness by focusing on the entire human experience—mindset, body, and emotions.
From co-creating the world’s first sensory-deprived race to completing a 24-hour ultra-marathon, Josh thrives on challenges that push the limits of human potential. His diverse journey spans strongman competitions, CrossFit, Spartan Races, yoga, and more, underscoring his belief in constant growth and transformation.
Josh’s commitment to personal and professional excellence is driven by his role as a devoted father and his mission to inspire others to reimagine what's possible. Through his innovative approach, he empowers clients to optimize their lives and achieve iconic feats by integrating mindset, body, and emotional mastery.
This is Josh’s mission: to live ambitiously and guide others to do the same.
Join us as we break barriers and go behind the scenes and beyond the finish line with our next guest, Josh Chessman!
Website: joshchessman.com IG: www.instagram.com/joshchessman/
Tiktok: www.tiktok.com/@joshchessman
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/josh-chessman-5a97b322b/
Now available on Apple Podcast, Spotify, YouTube, and more. Stay tuned for upcoming episodes featuring incredible guests, practical tips, and light the fire within you!
Invest in yourself today by using the 3GX's "Mindset Mastery Training Guide", available on Amazon just for you: https://a.co/d/4PenqHh
Visit us online at Titan6Actual.com and 3GX.com and give us a follow as well on Instagram and Facebook.
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:00):
Welcome Titan Six Actual and 3GX mental performance.
(00:06):
Welcome you to Breaking Barriers Beyond the Finish Line.
I'm your co-host Lou Greco from Titan Six Actual and alongside me is the brilliant Sarah Grippi
Snyder from 3GX.
In this podcast we'll dive deep into the human spirit, resilience and the relentless pursuit
of excellence.
So whether you're an athlete and entrepreneur or simply someone seeking inspiration, this
(00:28):
show is for you.
We'll explore stories of triumph, setbacks and unwavering determination that propels
us forward.
As a retired Army Engineer Reservist, I've faced challenges on the battlefield and beyond
and now I want a mission to help you discover your heritage.
And I'm Sarah, also known as Coach Gripp, a mental performance coach.
(00:50):
Together we dive into the psychology of peak performance, mindset strategies and how to
overcome mental blocks.
Whether you're aiming for the podium or simply striving for personal growth, we've got you
covered.
Join us as we explore the intersection of physical and mental strength, share expert insights
and celebrate those who go beyond the finish line.
(01:11):
So grab your headphones, lace up your sneakers and let's break barriers together.
Remember it's not just about crossing the finish line, it's about what lies beyond.
Welcome to Breaking Barriers Beyond the Finish Line.
Stay tuned for upcoming episodes where we'll feature incredible guests, share practical
tips and ignite the fire within you.
(01:32):
All right, guys, we are here joined with Josh Chesman.
See, I say it wrong already, Josh Chesman.
It's like the roll of the tongue just ended up happening.
Anyways, I met Josh at, it was the 2022 world champion in Canada and I actually had a tent
(01:57):
up and I was showcasing what 3GX was about and I actually was racing and I came back
and that's when I met Josh.
He was like, holy crap, what is 3GX?
And that's how me and him got to meet.
So two years later, I told him I was going to create a podcast.
I got to meet Liu last year and now here we are.
(02:19):
And I want Josh to explain who you are, but he's a father, he's a coach, he's an entrepreneur
and he's just a fantastic guy.
So Josh, would you like to explain yourself a little bit more in detail for our listeners?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, I'm 35 and I have an almost five-year-old son.
(02:40):
I live in Victoria, BC.
So I've been in Canada my whole life essentially and my coaching career has morphed a lot.
Over the 14, 15 years I've been a coach, it started out as pretty simple cookie cutter
personal training and it's now morphed into offering gene testing, blood testing, getting
(03:04):
really into the crux and the ways to then optimize people's health, fitness, energy.
And I'm just in a lot of ways I'm like at the beginning of my career, which feels amazing.
Yeah, evolved a lot because when I first met you, what was your coaching more like whenever,
(03:25):
yeah, I was back in 2022?
Yeah, so I had just moved from Ontario to BC.
That was a really big move in my life.
I'll kind of get into the details of that.
So I was an established trainer in Peterborough, Ontario.
I worked my way up, I ended up getting the top personal trainer in Canada.
(03:47):
So I had like some pretty solid accolades, I was well known.
And then I ended up buying a gym with a friend of mine, which was actually a great idea.
It was really cool.
It was actually my first real step into the entrepreneurial space.
I can't really call myself as a trainer working for a corporation, not really an entrepreneur.
(04:08):
So that was like one of the first things I did that was majorly entrepreneurial.
Then when I got out here to Victoria, which was at the within the middle of COVID three
years ago now, I started in a new new province.
Like I knew I knew three people.
My two year old son at the time was one of those people.
(04:29):
So no one knew me, I had no relevance.
I had, I was starting over in a lot of ways in my life.
So how that took shape in my coaching was that I started to train those existing clients
that still wanted to work with me online and just started to build, you know, programs
(04:50):
and systems out so that I could still work with those folks that I really cared about.
And then also opened the opportunity up much like it did for a lot of people at the beginning
or through the middle of COVID, where all of a sudden online was much more of a possibility.
So my business went from being in person, one hour, one on one to this kind of plethora
(05:12):
of, of examples of what online coaching could look like.
And that was probably the biggest shift in person to then mainly online at that time.
Yeah.
And with that online type of practice.
Let's just explain the difference between the challenges and some of the benefits of
(05:34):
being able to work online.
Yeah.
So some of the benefits are that, I mean, timing is timing is much easier, right?
There's no travel to the, to the facility for whoever it is.
So right away there's, it's, you're saving some time, you know, you flip on your camera,
your computer's there, most people are working from a computer nowadays anyway.
(05:56):
So there's that ease.
The other benefit from a coaching standpoint is I can deliver content in different ways.
Right.
I'd like it much as you guys know, but my clients started, you know, I would, I would email them
certain things, right?
Attach things or I created, created like some online courses where they could then, they
(06:16):
could then view content via video that I had recorded.
So there were a lot more accessible tools and resources for those clients once I went
online.
And it really allowed me to differentiate.
So from the coach standpoint, it allowed me to differentiate what I was offering and
how I offered it.
(06:36):
And from the client standpoint, they, they see it as, okay, I'm getting a lot of value.
It looks a little different.
If I'm used to the one-on-one personal trainer in person, this looks a little different,
but I'm still getting a lot of value.
And I'd say the biggest shift or one of the downfalls to coaching online is, I mean, you
you're a good coach, Sarah.
(06:57):
So it's like, if we're coaching movement, we're definitely very limited to how good
the quality of the camera is on that side and the position of their body.
And like, there's a lot we can't do.
There's no tactile, there's no like an aesthetic queuing.
There's no like me spinning around to me and like, well, where's their pelvis?
Like what position?
So it is limiting in that nature.
(07:19):
And honestly, that hasn't been a big issue for me as it stands working mainly online
now because there's ways that we've been able to move around it and adjust to accommodate
their, their goals.
So you're touching on the physical side, but you're a human optimization coach, right?
(07:40):
That's your, your, is that your like official title?
You know what?
Human optimization coach.
I mean, I have that written down.
It usually begs the question of what the fuck is that?
So, so I mean, I am a health coach and how I'm like learning to phrase this for people.
I'm a health coach and I help people optimize their health, fitness and energy or their
(08:04):
health, fitness and mindset.
Right?
There's a pillar.
So I've heard, right.
I've heard you say it as more of like a holistic or a whole body approach.
And I love that.
I love that idea.
And it's one of the pillars for playing six actual.
So if, if the tactile side is a challenge, but you also haven't found that to be too
(08:29):
limiting.
And so if you're focusing a lot on the, the holistic person, how, how do you find that
as a, do you find challenges at all with how you deliver content that is focused more towards
and instead of physical, maybe it's a, you know, emotional or mindset driven content
(08:56):
or, or, or, you know, things that you're working through with clients.
Yeah.
That's a great question.
I'd say it doesn't feel very difficult to deliver that.
So there's this standpoint of well, being a coach, so there's this human interaction
and I'm trying my best to understand where this client is at.
And I'm trying my best to communicate well and interpret what they're saying and body
(09:18):
language, et cetera.
There's that whole just communicating and trying to like see each other and trying to
determine where this person's at.
But a lot of that type of content, whether it's like, whether it is mindset and I'm
hoping we can like get deeper on like, okay, what are they actually talking about mindset?
Like here's this word.
It's like, well, what am I doing?
What does that actually doing?
(09:39):
And as to answer this question, a lot of it can just be delivered in a conversation so
that sometimes that is as simple as a phone call.
Usually it is like a, you know, a web-based call zoom or whatever people are using.
And I find you can get a lot of the point across and I can also receive kind of the
where the client's at just, just from the conversation and video is better.
(10:03):
But yeah.
You can still catch on those, those, those body language cues, things that would be
lost if it was just a, if it was just a phone call.
So in that regard, you're right.
You know, COVID really didn't impact things other than it, you know, the positive positivity
of, all right, I don't have to travel.
(10:23):
So I have more time with a client.
Totally.
And for me, like I love taking notes and I love tracking things when I have clients.
So, and I didn't realize this at the time, but, you know, back eight years ago when I'm
with a client, I have my clipboard with my piece of paper, like I'm pretty limited.
I have to write everything down, right?
By pencil or pen, whether it's scheduling or programming or notes, but okay, it's versus
(10:48):
by doesn't feel good doing this or like whatever the thing is.
Whereas now, you know, I usually have, I'll have their, all their files open.
So then like during the conversation, I might be making a note, but then I can quickly go
back and like summarize it, give them the detail of it, present them with what we talked
about, adjust the program, adjust the habit formation, like whatever it is, it's just
(11:13):
easier to systematize things.
I think that's really the word I'm looking at here versus just everything being on paper.
Because like the truth is, I'm a really unorganized person, like for the most part, I'm like an
artist.
I'm just messy.
There's shit everywhere usually.
So when I have systems like that, I'm like, okay, good, I can just use this system.
(11:33):
Don't change it.
Don't adjust it.
Don't try to reinvent the wheel.
The system works.
Don't, yeah, it's not broken.
Touch anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's, that's been really helpful in that realm.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
And with those systems too, like that was definitely a learning experience.
Like you said, you, you learned that you were a little bit of a messy person and how do
(11:57):
you create a space for you to be able to give your best performance to your clients?
So I know that you just said like, what is, everyone talks about mindset and what does
that word mean?
Well, when we go through all these systems, like before you figured out this plan that
worked well for you, how did you get into this shift into this kind of challenge and
(12:21):
how did you deal with it whenever things got difficult?
Well, that's a cool question because I actually remember the moment that I shifted and it
was, it was an entrepreneur who told me, he said, it's not the people that are, you know,
it's not the people that have hit rock bottom or the people that are doing really well that
(12:42):
I'm worried about.
It's the people in the middle just coasting.
And I was like, holy fuck.
I was like, you know what?
I am coasting.
I'm feeling somewhat comfortable in my life.
You know, financially where I'm living with my relationships, et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera.
I was just okay.
And I think I pretty quickly realized that for me feeling okay, I was actually like, I
(13:09):
was not keeping up with the trend.
I was actually slipping backwards.
Yeah.
So I was, I was on a trajectory I couldn't even see.
Right.
It's like keeping up with inflation.
Like inflation's not level.
It's a chronic, you know, a constant up, you know, 3%, whatever it is depends, but like
(13:29):
I was, I was just maintaining like this, hitting the horizon, hitting the straight line across
and I was actually falling behind because I wasn't keeping up.
So that was the moment where I was like, I need to invest in business because I'm not
a good business person.
I don't have this.
I don't have the skill.
I, I co-owned a gym for four years.
I learned some things, but I don't know how to run a business.
(13:50):
Right.
So I invested in a business program.
I learned quite a bit from that.
And I started just to try things and that's pretty huge conversation because I was trying
so many things.
I was wearing like 15 hats all of a sudden.
I was like learning about social media marketing.
I was learning about email funnels.
(14:12):
I was learning about landing pages.
I was learning about funnels.
I was learning about programs to work out programs for actual programming for clients.
I was working on how to system, how to systematize habits, how to deliver meal plans, how to
track calories, how to take notes on mindset.
(14:32):
Like there was just like, there was so many.
So you have your, right.
You have your like your skill that you are well versed at and still learning and exploring.
But now on top of that, you have to learn this whole other business side of things that
had to be daunting.
Totally.
Super daunting.
(14:52):
How did that translate in terms of what you shared with your clients?
Was that something that, because I know you talked a lot about being vulnerable.
Is that something that you shared your vulnerability with your clients, you know, as it like reinforcement?
Yeah.
And partly, and it's dependent a little bit on the client.
(15:14):
So I do have some clients that are younger men that it's basically in like this coaching
mentor role.
So clients like that, where we do talk about business, I'll straight up be like, guys,
like, by the way, I don't have this fully figured out.
I'm giving you resources based on people I'm learning from.
But like, like I'm not going to teach you organization skills when I'm like, I don't
(15:36):
really have a good manage, you know, at the time, if I'm like, I don't, my shit's all
over the place.
So vulnerability is key, as you said.
And yeah, I always try to be vulnerable with clients.
So there's lots of examples of that.
But in terms of kind of the business and like wearing so many hats suddenly and like struggling
to be organized and struggling with like fucking payment processors and like the whole gambit.
(16:01):
Yeah.
And I think then the great thing was like as I'm sharing like, you know, hey, I'm gonna,
I'm wearing some new hats that I got to see how they fit.
People understand that.
Like my clients like, yeah, it makes sense.
Like, you know, get back to me later or take your time, like whatever it was.
Like I think people gave me some grace because it's, you know, it's obvious.
(16:24):
It's like, okay, you're going through something completely different.
Fair enough.
Showing that vulnerability, something that I was thinking about, have you ever seen
like, I forget what the TV show is, but it's fitness trainers that gain 40 pounds so they
can lose the weight with their clients.
And most of the time these fitness and trainers have always been fit their whole entire life.
(16:49):
So when they finally gain the 40 and try to lose it, they realize what their clients are
going through.
So the fact that you kind of can to match that vulnerability, like we're doing this together,
it's really powerful.
And I don't think a lot of people realize that like you can have all the knowledge,
but if you don't show people how you can like, hey, I'm also going to be experiencing these
(17:11):
things and we're going to work through these together.
Now it's like a collaboration compared to like, okay, I have a teacher and I just have
to listen to this person.
It feels less connected if it's like that.
So I really like the vulnerability piece that you give.
And with that, I was curious, since I know that you have your tattoo on your chest called
(17:32):
suffer, I mean, not called suffer, it is the word suffer.
Is that part of something that you share with your clients?
And like, what does that specifically mean anyways?
Yeah, so I had a client that interviewed me on a podcast a couple of years back and
and they were like, you know, this is like, this is the hardest working tattoo I've ever
(17:55):
seen because I was explaining like, they just got it right away.
They're like, I like that and I'll tell you why.
And it was in the realm of, you know, I understand that you're talking about discomfort as something
to embrace, you know, we're trying to, we have this couple of, there's a book, comfort
crisis.
It's, yeah, I could have written that essentially, I didn't, he wrote, he's a better writer,
(18:16):
but I was like, I read that.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's, yep, I, yep, I agree.
So they touched on the fact of like embracing discomfort, stretching the comfort zone, but
also stretching the, the, or I should say, changing the relationship we have with discomfort.
We're talking about the weather earlier, for instance, it's like so many fucking people
complain about the weather.
(18:36):
It's like, we're not even homeless, the people that are complaining.
Like I had to put a sweater on them.
Like, is that, is that something to complain about?
I have a sweater to put on and I feel fine.
Like, right.
So if it, it first started or I first realized that this was a powerful, we'll call it like
(18:58):
a mantra or something for me.
When I was training before I met you guys, you included Sarah, I was training for a 24
hour run and a friend of mine, we created this challenge.
We ended up training for this challenge that led us to run on true form runners.
(19:18):
So for those of us, for those of you guys listening that don't know what that is, it's
just a non motorized treadmill.
They have a bend like this.
They're 30% harder than treadmills.
You don't plug them in and we had a whole crew set it up so that it could actually be
a sensory deprived zone.
So it was a completely black box.
You weren't allowed headphones.
(19:38):
You weren't allowed to watch.
You're not wearing a heart rate monitor.
We had a tech team remove the monitor so we couldn't see our distance.
We couldn't see our time.
We didn't know our watts.
We didn't know any information.
There's no dial biometric data.
During the training for this, I started to realize that this is a lot about my, my relationship
(20:00):
with comfort, with discomfort, with doing hard things, with embracing hard things, with
complaining, with needing support, with figuring out how I react and respond in like adversity,
needing adversity to then experiment with how I am.
Because I think a lot of people, myself included, live pretty, pretty easy ish lives.
(20:27):
There's always things that we struggle with.
But again, like I have warm clothes.
I have a roof.
I have good food to eat.
I make some money.
I have good relationships.
I'm loved.
I'm cared for.
It's a pretty easy life for me.
So, so that I don't end up like a fucking soup sandwich, like softer than hell, I have
to create some adversity so that I can become something that's a little bit more resilient
(20:53):
or has a higher capacity.
And suffer is the reminder.
It's okay to do hard things.
Like it doesn't have to be good or bad.
It's just like, it's okay.
It's inevitable.
So it was hard.
So that, so you're, so I'm cold.
So I'm lonely.
So I'm angry.
It's like, it's okay.
(21:15):
Feel those things.
That's okay.
All I was going to say is I call that we're all domesticated.
We're, we don't know how to survive outside.
That's all I wanted to say.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
We're like the house cat.
We don't know where we get in the litter box.
We don't know where to shit.
We spin around for 40 seconds.
So that's it.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
(21:35):
It's like you said, our base level of needs are satisfied.
So to that degree, it's like everything that we tend to experience from a discomfort level.
It's not, it's usually not life threatening.
It's usually not earth shattering either.
Not to say that those things don't happen.
But on a day to day basis, it's a great reminder to realize that I guess it could always be
(22:01):
worse.
Yeah.
And I mean, it will, it will be worse.
Like for all of us, right?
And it's building that resilience, like you pointed out, you know, is, is crucial to not
only for you to have it, but for also for, for other people that may be relying on you,
that you have that resiliency.
(22:22):
Yeah.
100%.
And, and I will say like back to the, or the vulnerability conversation, like, I don't
have it all figured out.
And I'm not the kind of guy that just like can take, can take everything either.
Like, truthfully.
Like, I think if I didn't train, if I didn't work on this mindset stuff, I'd probably be
below average in a lot of ways.
(22:43):
I'd probably be the guy eating like egg McMuffins, like complaining about his life, like truthfully.
I'm not that far away from that.
And it's like the fact, I think the fact that I realize that I'm like, okay, you know what?
Like, I am more similar to more people than some people might think or than I think.
I'm like, I'm not that far away.
I'm not too many bad decisions away from being in a real tight, tight position.
(23:07):
So it's like, it's humbling in a sense.
It's very humbling.
So I mean, you, you mentioned that conversation that was kind of like the, the turning point.
So it's almost like you, you had this inside you and just really needed someone external
to, to speak it to life.
(23:28):
But you also received it really well.
Yeah.
So, so it begs the question, was there something already in place, a mentor, a friend, something
that would have kind of set the table for you to be able to receive it?
Because, you know, it said like, you know, the teacher presents itself once the student
(23:48):
is ready, right?
So you happen to be ready at that moment.
I'm sure there were a few things that, that, like I said, set the table for that.
And I'd love to explore that if, if you can pinpoint that journey.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll start with just describing kind of like what my, what my mental and physical
environment was like.
So I think some people can relate to this, but so I chose not to get vaccinated.
(24:14):
So right there, there's a lot of, lot of differences was going through a really challenging breakup
with my, my now X.
We have a great relationship now.
I want to say that.
And at the time it was terrible for both of us.
So we were living together, trying to find separate places.
(24:34):
We had just moved across the country away from our families and we had a, a one and
a half year old son.
So yeah, maybe like not, is that the best thing to do at the time?
She really wanted to move across and I wanted to see if I could be resilient enough to accommodate
that knowing that we weren't going to be together.
(24:55):
I knew that that's okay.
I wasn't holding onto that.
I, I use it as a challenge.
I say, can I leave everything in a lot of ways?
Can I leave everything even if it's, you know, or keeping distances out now or relationship
or pardon me, keeping relationships at that distance.
Can I, can I be okay with shifting across the country and kind of restarting?
As I said, with the training that my, my job changed, relationship changed, support changed.
(25:22):
So we had not being vaccinated, I wasn't allowed in gyms, started working out in the shitty,
shitty, shitty living or laundry room that I had with no windows.
It felt like a jail cell to be honest.
It was brutal for me.
It was brutal, good reminder, but brutal.
Basically just knew my son, you know, first, first time dad, a single dad at that point,
(25:45):
going through a hard relationship in kind of a shitty apartment.
And I think realizing that I didn't want to feel the, I didn't want to be in the same
position I was at that moment.
Like I didn't want to be there too long.
So I needed something to change.
(26:07):
So back to your question or back to your kind of statement, you're like, you know, you
heard that advice, the teacher presents itself when the students ready.
I think I was, I was in a lot of pain, like, quote unquote, like I didn't like the position
I was in.
I knew why I was in that position.
And I wanted to do what I could to, to progress out of that position.
(26:30):
And there was a lot of things I was trying to progress.
So the, the thing I, I did was I got back to like maintaining what I could, which was
like fitness.
So I said, control the controllables.
Yeah.
That's a, that's a very good way to say it.
The controllables.
So food, sleep, stress, wasn't doing a super good job with that.
(26:51):
I had a lot of challenges.
The one major decision I made, which was the first decision, the first time I ever made
this decision was joining a men's group.
And that has been paramount.
And the reason that came about was again, I was open to receiving, I knew I wasn't in
a great position.
(27:11):
I had my ex's friend came over one night.
This is like three weeks after moving here to Victoria.
And he's like, dude, you should join a men's group.
And I'm like, great.
I got, I like, this is my low point.
This is my new low point.
Great.
Let's, let's join them and see what happens.
Right.
Right.
Three years later been going every week.
(27:33):
I see a lot of support.
We get accountability.
I'm there to help the other men.
That's been like paramount.
So yeah, I think it's just like realizing internally, I was like, wow, this is hard
for me.
Like this is, this is really tough.
And I don't actually have to, I don't have to continue to deal with these things in the
(27:55):
same way.
I can become more resilient.
So I can just, I can be in it, become more resilient, get more support, be vulnerable,
ask for, ask for support.
And like, and in a lot of ways, like this is the adversity that I was looking for.
Like I created this adversity.
I put myself in this position to see, Hey, can I get to a point where I'm feeling good
again?
(28:16):
So it's interesting because, you know, I had, you know, a bunch of notes, things, high level
points like, Hey, this would be great talking points if we, if the conversation should lull.
But it's funny because things are just flowing in a way that I would have never imagined
because you're talking about how you hit this point and you're like, screw it, I asked for
(28:42):
this.
I wanted to build my resilience.
And you made a statement when I first got to meet you.
And it was like obstacles or really just opportunities.
So, you know, if more people could understand that, I think we'd all be better off for it.
Right.
And what could have been like an opportunity to spiral out of control even further.
(29:06):
Sure.
Instead of just saying, staying on the street, you know, you could have actually been on
a decline even though, you know, to your analogy, you know, if you are just maintaining, you
are declining, but it could have gotten much worse.
And instead of you had this mindset shift of time out, I asked for this, this is an
(29:26):
opportunity, not just an obstacle.
And I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a visceral feeling for me actually thinking about that.
Thinking about how I felt for most days, like how I felt in those moments was like, was
not very good.
So was that, was that something that you brought immediately to the men's group?
(29:49):
Like, hey, I'm in this.
Some people are very open from Jump Street.
Others, you know, they need, you know, to feel that level of comfort first.
Yeah.
And then where were you at?
And then what did you see as the biggest hurdle for most guys that were part of this group?
Well, I, again, I was, I was in a lot of like pain, right?
(30:10):
I was, as I've just said, so I went in and I was like, you know what, I don't know any
of these guys.
I don't owe them anything.
They don't owe me anything.
Why don't I just be fucking completely vulnerable and see what happens?
And so I went in and I explained, you know, got had whatever I had 20 minutes to say who
I was, what I'm going through, what, what brought me to men's work.
(30:32):
That's usually the question that you get asked when you join.
And it's like, okay, here we go.
And I said exactly, you know, what I said to you guys.
And it's like, okay, cool.
Yeah, you're welcome here.
It's like, great.
So the vulnerability was validated.
So we were like, all right, great.
Thank God.
(30:53):
Yeah.
And I took that leap and I think, I think, you know, another angle to this is like one
of the reasons I did that is because I wanted to, I wanted to feel different, but I wanted
to feel better and I knew that I could be a better version of myself.
(31:14):
So I had that belief of like, and I know there's a lot of people listening that that
feel that way, but I know there's a lot of people listening that don't feel that way,
that don't actually see that it's possible to feel better or to perceive themselves as
someone different or more, more grateful or more integrity or more disciplined or more
fit or more healthier, more, you know, business savvy, whatever the hell it is, a better parent,
(31:37):
maybe it's all those things.
I think for me, I just, I was like 100% I can be better and I, and I almost always
believe that about myself.
So that's usually not the issue is the self belief.
It's usually just like lunging myself or like catapulting myself into rooms like a new men's
group where I'm like, cool, here's where I'm at.
(31:58):
Like this is where I might be lacking.
This is what I'm pretty good at, but I'm here to be helped and then to help when I, when
I know how that happens.
Vulnerability is fucking magical.
When you're, when you're in the face of people, when you're in front of people that understand
what it is.
Right.
And you understand, have good intentions and also, you know, have the, the, the tools,
(32:23):
the skill set to actually help.
Otherwise it could be a train wreck.
So, you know, but, but, but, but thankfully it, it was an opportunity that, that was a
positive opportunity.
You took that leap.
It's just, I bring this up because, you know, I have friends and family members where they,
(32:46):
they have experienced like, I'm going to be, you know, I've witnessed them being vulnerable
to, to people that great intentions don't have skill set to address the needs that are
being brought to them, but also don't have the emotional intelligence to say, I don't
know the answer, but I'm going to help you find it.
(33:10):
And I think that's key is like people understanding like, okay, don't, don't just leave somebody
out, you know, you know, waiting in deep waters, just, you know, try and help them or help
them find the help that they need.
So 100%.
Yeah.
Vulnerability is key.
It is certainly key.
(33:30):
And we, as, you know, wanting to be positive members of society should also remember that
if someone is being vulnerable to us, we have an obligation to steer them if we can, or
find, help them find the help that they need.
Yeah.
I think that's a great message.
(33:50):
Yeah.
I wanted to add too, with just being able to be vulnerable.
I think another issue that people have with being vulnerable is the judgment from others.
I see it all the time where people will purposely not do behaviors they want because maybe somebody's
watching, I'm not going to do it right.
It's going to be silly.
(34:11):
And I think pairing the vulnerability of allowing you to be yourself and having a quote, unquote,
judgment-free zone, those two are challenging to have if you feel like everybody is going
to be viewing you a certain way.
And something that's really powerful, and you kind of got to notice it when you moved
(34:32):
across country, I also get to experience a lot while traveling in this RV.
Nobody knows me here.
I can be exactly who I am, and I will never see this person again.
And it's really powerful because now when I'm hanging out with my friends and family,
I realize, like, let me just be myself.
But once again, being vulnerable and just taking that judgment away, it's just so powerful
(34:55):
allowing you to be yourself.
And I think pairing those two things together, plus, like what you were saying about controlling
controllables and not being able to control specific things, which it is in my book, page
25 in confidence.
I was like, we were talking about that.
I was like, that's a perfect way to understand what are specific things that you can control.
(35:19):
How can you be vulnerable in those spaces?
How do we remove that judgment and the things we can't control?
We can just kind of leave that as a space right now.
It's just like, okay, I can't be vulnerable right now, and I'm having a hard time with
judgment, but it's allowing you to at least break apart from 100% not being able to be
yourself.
Maybe it starts out 75, 25, or actually, yeah, the uncontrollable, as I meant to say, and
(35:45):
then 50, 50, and then eventually it'll turn 100% where maybe I can control all these things.
So I just thought that was really powerful, like adding the vulnerability with the judgment
piece, because man, I wish people would get out of their shallow a little bit, and it's
difficult because we always think somebody's going to judge us.
Yeah, it's interesting, right?
(36:06):
Because it's not all the time, or do we even get judged?
It's just like that fear, right?
Like the fear of what's the stat, like the biggest fear in the world speaking to public
and the second is dying or something.
Yeah, like fear.
Something along those lines.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great.
Maybe as humans, we're scared of other humans.
We're scared of being judged.
(36:28):
And it's, I think it's a superpower and maybe a kind of a rare superpower to be truly okay
being authentic and just letting it slide off your back.
I don't know too many people that can be, that have been able to connect in that way
to themselves.
We can just all be like Adam Sandler, where he's just wearing scrubs outside, eating a
(36:51):
jar of pickles.
He's like, I'm famous and I don't even give a crap.
You know what I mean?
Like, why can't we all be like that?
It's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have a fermented food, your choice and wear some comfort clothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be you, be comfortable.
Who cares who judges?
It's not, that's not the point.
As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.
(37:14):
That's right.
And yeah, the great thing about judgments, it's like, well, it says more about the person
judging anyway.
So, I mean, I'm not an expert on this by any means, but it's usually interesting.
So if I'm like, why the fuck is Adam Sandler like that?
It's like, well, what inside of me is triggering?
And, you know, am I not okay looking a certain way or am I not okay presenting similar to
(37:38):
that?
Or it's very interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People lash out, people lash out because they're upset with how far they've gone along, like
how much they've done in their life.
And I think it comes a lot with age.
I remember somebody asked me my age and since I'm a female, they're like, I'm sorry to ask
(38:00):
you this, but I have to get, for me to get like a hunting license, I had to ask my age.
I'm just like, I'm proud to be 30.
Like I've accomplished everything that I wanted to, but I understand why he asked that because
a lot of people are like, oh no, like I haven't accomplished what I wanted to.
And then when other people thrive, they get upset that they haven't done anything with
their lives, which probably isn't true.
(38:21):
They've probably done a lot in their life, but it just feels like they haven't.
So they get this persona about themselves and now they think other people are judging
them and it's just like, do you realize there's just this random voice in your head that's
creating your own chaos?
You know, it's not, they might not even being saying anything, but you're over here creating
this, um, this alternative world and it's hard for you to like open up your eyes that
(38:47):
that's not happening.
Totally.
You know, one of the most humbling things I heard recently was I was listening to a podcast
on body language and I thought until that, and this is one resource, but anyway, you'll
understand the point.
The study was like, we're about 30% accurate with what we gauge based on body language.
And I'm like, well, that's not very fucking accurate then is it?
(39:09):
So if I think when I'm on that I'm, that I'm going to be 30% up to 30% accurate, then I'm
totally creating realities all over the place.
So it that are not necessarily even real, right?
Yeah, like, I don't want you to be right now.
Yeah.
All right.
(39:29):
So that's if you're only monitoring, so I understand this, that's if you're only monitoring
visual cues, right?
So one component.
So it really does highlight the fact that if you take everything, the words, the inflection,
the tone, right, the body language, it all paints a picture that if one, even one component
(39:55):
goes away, it's kind of like, you know, something that gets miss misunderstood, misinterpreted,
that's a text message or an email because you've, you've now missed two of at least
three components that even the most skilled writer, you know, trying to find perfect words
if that other person doesn't receive those words the same way, because maybe their vocabulary
(40:20):
is limited or vice versa.
Yeah, there's bound to be problems.
So that's, that's incredible 30%.
Something like that.
Yeah, don't quote me on it, but I remember being like, whoa, I thought it was like, I
thought it was a lot more than that.
I thought we had this down to a bit of a science, not a bit of a, you know, hypothesis.
But right.
And I kind of want to transition into something slightly different, but off of this topic,
(40:47):
you know, when it talks about body language and not physically, I meant verbally what
we're saying, I know that when you have your son, you take complete time off and you don't
want him to see you on your phone and I know that this isn't like you verbally talking,
but it's, it's you showing a certain way of life to make sure that he can stay on track
(41:11):
and be his true self.
So I did want to talk about that a little bit on how you present yourself to your son,
so he can get the best childhood for himself.
Oh, here we go.
The juice.
Yeah.
Yep.
The tea.
The tea.
Yeah.
I'm doing some, some cacao, something.
(41:35):
So if I, if I can answer this question accurately or interpret the question accurately, you're
saying, you know, what am I doing as a father to set myself my son up for success?
Quote, quote.
Yeah.
And it doesn't have to be verbally because that's why I was bringing up like you don't
work, you try to stay off your phone as much as possible to present yourself.
(41:56):
And that is a body language right there.
Yeah.
You know, I think, I think just to take a step back a little bit, like I have my own
perceptions of how I want to be as a dad.
And I also understand that he is not necessarily going to see me that way.
So there's that.
And I'm also learning from other people a lot with parenting.
(42:20):
I remember having, I remember when my, my ex, his mom was, was pregnant or doula said,
are you scared to be a father?
And I said, like, I was like, no, I'm not at all.
And honestly, that was like, I think I just wasn't totally in touch with it.
I thought I was going to be really confident.
And I actually realized, I'm like, there's a lot of huge struggles, like truthfully.
(42:44):
So there, there's me being vulnerable because I actually thought I wasn't going to have
any issues with it.
And I know that actually probably sounds ridiculous for any parents.
It's like, I think it, if I can interpret a little bit here, you know, as a dad, it's
like, all right, in the moment, you're like, no, I am not afraid of the challenges and
(43:07):
obstacles and opportunities.
That's not what you're afraid of.
Yeah, you're going to have a bunch.
And those are terrifying.
Some people are terrified just at the notion of having to deal with that.
So I would venture a guess that, yeah, you were probably very enthusiastic about being
a dad because of all the wonderful opportunities that make those difficult times worth every,
(43:31):
every minute.
Yeah.
So, but it is hard.
You're right.
Yeah.
You know, tons of examples of my own personal life that I still struggle with as a dad.
But, you know, there are far more positive things to look at, whether it's, you know,
(43:52):
memories or whether it's things that have yet to happen that I know are opportunities.
So yeah, I appreciate your perspective on that, Luke.
I think that that probably is more accurate.
You know, I didn't think I was just going to nail everything all the time, but to, you
know, feel again, it's back to like the tattoo or the obstacle being the way or the growth
(44:12):
mindset or whatever, like there are going to be obstacles.
Having a kid is 100% lots of obstacles in a sense, but obviously there's so much beauty
and gratitude and joy and life that we experienced beyond that.
To your question, Sarah, I try to look at it like, well, I think a lot of dads look
(44:36):
at it like this.
When our kids are young, my kid, my, my son's almost five.
So he's still very young and like I am such an important part of his, his life.
Like I am, I don't know, but I'm, I'm at least fucking 40% of like who he thinks about in
a sense.
(44:56):
Yeah.
So we, we co-parent.
So he either sees me or he sees his mom.
So there's not often, it's not often where he's actually seeing both of us interact together.
There's little bits, but like in the grand scheme, it's like just daddy or just mummy.
So I think there's almost more responsibility from that.
(45:18):
I could be wrong.
This is just how I'm processing the thought because it's just me.
So it, it, like it matters.
You know, I make it, I make it matter.
What I do matters.
So if he sees me on my phone and not that he hasn't seen me on my phone, there's times
(45:41):
where I'm on my phone, but if I'm not intentionally on my phone, he's going to pick up on that.
Yeah.
Right.
If I'm distracting myself with whatever and anything, any vice, like he will notice that
he might not be able to articulate what that is, but he's going to feel that because I
(46:03):
think children are extremely intuitive.
And I want to try to be, it's not even a want.
It's a, I think I need to fucking do that.
I think that's my responsibility for him to him to say, man, like, you know, this is
me talking to him when he's older, like, man, I just so you know, like I tried really hard.
(46:27):
I know I fucked up in a lot of ways.
That's inevitable.
You know, you're traumatized in these different ways as it's inevitable, but like just so
you know, like I fucking tried.
And I think that's, I think that's really important.
And I think in a lot of ways, like that's one of the few things that I can do.
(46:50):
Like, you know, I can love him and I can just try.
And in some ways it's probably not, there's probably not too many more things I could
add to that list.
Now, I've remembered those are big things that you pointed out being present, being
intentional and living with integrity.
(47:12):
So knowing, you know, full well that, you know, your, your actions are going to have
a lasting effect.
And so I better be very intentional and have the integrity of like, you know, what I'm
doing, what I'm, what I'm saying, what I'm trying to teach other people, I'm also going
to live that.
Yeah.
And, and even down to like my internal dialogue, like kind of, it's kind of like taking stock
(47:34):
of like all the different relationships in life, like the relationship I have myself,
with my son, with my ex, with his mom, with other parents, with random people on the street.
It's like, I do think these things matter.
And that's not to say like, you know, I suck the fun out of everything and everything serious,
but my, what you mentioned the presence, like two of my goals in life, if I was to be known
(48:02):
for anything in life, I would hope that I would be remembered partly for being intentional
and being present.
That's not everything I want to be known as someone that's fun and a friggin goof and
musical and whatever a good role model, et cetera.
But like if I only had two, I'd probably choose those two.
(48:24):
And the reason I would choose presence is because I think when you, when I feel someone
is present and engaged with me, it feels, it feels vastly different than when someone
is not present.
Like it feels so different and it's hard to.
(48:44):
Very authentic.
It's so authentic, right?
And then having intention is like living life with purpose.
It's, it's, it's interrupting moments of autopilot and it's, it's like injecting like, Hey, I'm
(49:05):
trying to live this moment versus just like being a victim in life or letting it slide
by or getting distracted a lot, which again, like I am all those things in a sense, right?
I do those things in a sense, but it's okay.
How often can I be intentional about this thing?
(49:26):
Even if it's like, I'm intentionally going to watch fucking TV and lay down.
But it's like, you know, I, that was a decision I made.
Right.
It's taxing as fuck.
Yes.
But I think it's worth it.
But to your point, you have to make a choice sometimes like to, to recharge the batteries,
(49:46):
but as long as that's an intentional choice and not something where you're just mindlessly
going through something because it's easy, it's convenient, it's comfortable.
It's as opposed to like, no, no, no, I'm feeling a certain way.
That's my body speaking to me saying you need to recover.
Your mind is overwhelmed, whatever it is, you know, you know, emotionally, physically,
(50:11):
spiritually, whatever, where you're like, okay, I'm checking in with my feelings.
And yeah, I need, this is an intentional decision versus I just, I deserve to take, you know,
a couple of days off and then you just turn to the mush.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I don't have it all nailed, but that's, that's kind of, that's kind of where I'd go
(50:36):
with this.
And actually, you know what?
I want to, I want to mention something because around the idea of being growth-minded, being
present, being intentional, embracing the discomfort, these types of things.
I actually had a client give a testimonial and I, and I was, I posted a video.
So if anyone follows me on social media, you'll see it.
And in, in this video, he says, I said, you know, in 30 seconds, explain kind of where
(51:00):
you are from, from where you were.
And he said, I'm going to read this out.
You guys okay with that?
Yeah, go for it, man.
So he said, when we first started, I used to avoid difficult things.
Now I look for them.
Why?
Because doing the hard, but right thing gives, gives me, he said, a satisfaction that the
easy path never could.
(51:22):
It's not about perfection.
It's about growth and growth often comes disguised as comfort.
And I was like, dude, I'm glad that you realize that.
I think that's going to be an extremely helpful North Star for you.
Yeah.
And for a lot of people, you know, hopefully hearing, hearing it for the first time, you
(51:43):
know, through this opportunity, but also, you know, on your website and socials, wherever
you have it closely, I think that it's important, you know, for people to, to hear the
impact, especially something so profound as that.
Yeah.
I get fired up from that when clients went just even people, I didn't even need to know
them.
I get so fired up when people discover that, you know, they're capable or there's an
(52:08):
improvement in self confidence or there's something where they're like, you know what,
like, improving self esteem, like I can do this.
I think people forget that when they were learning how to walk or learning how to talk
or write, those were really difficult things.
And it's not like it just came very fluent, you know, when you're one, two, three years
(52:29):
old.
And when we're adults, we think that, I guess we kind of forget that.
And I know that our memories aren't always there.
And when we're that old, I mean, when we're that young, but that's a thing that I like
the, that quote that you, your client said, because it's like, discomfort is going to
be everywhere.
I know like you talked about what's one of the scariest things for people.
(52:53):
Public speaking is all, it's one of my things.
I know that, but that's why I do a podcast so I can grow past those certain things.
Are they always going to be great?
I listen to these recordings, like, man, my voice is terrible.
And I, why did I say that?
And you know, all these things, but yet I'm posting them, I'm proud of them.
(53:14):
And it's going to be uncomfortable for a little while and eventually it isn't going to be.
So how can I challenge that even more?
And I liked how your client said that.
It's just like, I want that discomfort.
I really, I really appreciate having that discomfort.
And no, that's a great, that's a great testimonial.
Yeah.
Well, there's a level of like, or a, you know, there's a side of gratitude and that too.
(53:39):
It's like, good.
I get to, I get to experience some discomfort.
Like it's, it's maybe to some people it's a strange kind of twist, but there's, there's
a lot of power and there's comfort in realizing that you're, that, that we have things in life
that we can be grateful for.
We can choose to be grateful for anything we want, whether it's pain or loss or celebration
(54:05):
or whatever, whatever the thing.
Like we, we always have choice over that.
And I think in some ways, if we can set ourselves up, like I try to do a lot of the time to
be grateful for discomfort, for pain, for things like that, that are just like in our
day to day.
(54:26):
My thought and my hope is that it, it puts us in a better position for when we, when we
were faced with, you know, real loss or real pain.
Like, you know, I have a friend that was paraplegic, is paraplegic now as a two years ago.
Like that, that's what I mean, like stuff like that, where it's like real loss or real,
real confronting shifts in our identities or, you know, we lose a sibling, we lose a
(54:51):
parent, we lose a child, any of those things.
I haven't experienced too much of that.
I haven't lost my parents, I haven't lost my son.
And it's like, it's all inevitable at some part of the lineup.
So versus avoiding all that stuff, you know, I think if we can set ourselves up to just
(55:11):
be grateful for what we have here, it's probably going to be a better quality of life at the
same time.
Very well put.
I appreciate you explaining that.
And now, Lou, I wanted to ask you, do you have anything else you wanted to ask before
we ask him who his next guest he wants to have and what question you'd like to ask them?
(55:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
I know being conscious of your time, we're very grateful for that time for us.
I know that you are on a time schedule.
So real quick parting thoughts.
What would you tell, you know, first time listeners that don't know, you know, anything
about you, that obviously now they know, you know, your overall, you know, holistic optimization
(56:00):
coach and things that you've experienced personally and what you bring, the interactions
with the men's group.
All those are wonderful.
In the beginning, you did mention also, you know, about some biohacking, functional blood
testing, things like that.
So if there's anything that you would like to like parting thoughts would like to, you
(56:25):
know, listeners to know services that you provide, shameless plug away, man.
Yes, yes, go for it.
We're glad to have you on here.
So yeah, thanks.
I appreciate your guys time and the opportunity as well.
The first thing I'd say is actually advice and usually I ask for, ask if I can give advice,
but I don't know who's listening.
So I can't ask.
(56:47):
I would say either believe in yourself or find someone that will believe in your, believe
in you number one.
And now to answer your question.
We are offering something called the deep health protocol.
I have a small team of people on my side and we're helping a lot of entrepreneurs.
(57:08):
We're helping a lot of people create some real, real positive health change in their
life and we are doing that through doing gene testing, blood testing, stool testing.
And then we help people because we are coaches at the same time, implement all of those things
that might have to change or might offer so that people can true truly optimize their
(57:31):
health.
So if people are interested in more about that, they can DM me or email me on any social
media platform.
I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I'm on Tik Tok and on my website is JoshChassman.com.
So any of these things, I'm hoping to have some more free resources.
(57:53):
I have a free ebook.
People could download right now.
It's like 50 pages.
It's not even like a short thing and it talks a little bit more about my story.
If you can be inspired by that or relate to it in some way, that could be a great resource
for you and that's available on the website or on any of my socials.
And I don't know.
I think that like self-belief is at the core.
(58:17):
So it's just like if you don't believe in yourself right now and you have the vulnerability
to find someone that might believe in you, that's going to really fucking help.
It's going to make all decisions.
It's going to steer a lot of your future decisions based on that one component.
Yeah.
And if you can't believe in yourself or you can't find somebody to believe in you, a nice
(58:41):
little middle ground is finding a neutral thing that you can always believe in.
So let's go off of racing.
It's like maybe you won't win.
You won't get podium.
You might not get top 10, but you know that you always cross that finish line.
So that could be a neutral thought.
Like I believe that I finish every race.
(59:03):
So if anybody has a hard time with that, that's always a nice little like, okay, maybe I don't
have to find something specific yet, but I can believe in this middle thought right now.
Well said from the mindset coach.
That's good.
I know.
It's like it's my job or something.
You should, you know, make a profession out of this.
Yeah.
(59:24):
All right.
So, Sarah, you wanted to close out with our traditional question?
Yeah.
So what we do, we always ask our guests, somebody that might be their role model and within
that role model, if they would be willing to be our guest for our next episode, what
(59:49):
question would you ask them so we can ask them that question for whenever they are our
guest?
So do you want me to tell you who this person is first or ask, tell you the question?
Yeah.
Who the person is first?
Yeah.
So I'm going to put up a close friend of mine named Ethan Ellis, who's close friend of
(01:00:10):
mine.
I was in a men's group with him.
He runs a men's group.
He's a coach.
He's a father, a single dad.
We're similar in a lot of ways, but the one, one of the gigantic voice that I think he
fills in this world is presence and that he is aspiring.
(01:00:33):
I'm inspired by his ability to be present.
And when I said presence, he's like one of the few people I talked about where I'm like,
it's possible to be there.
So the question I would ask him is what, what it feels like for him in his life to be present
and, and or lack presence and how, how he becomes more present because he has a huge,
(01:00:58):
huge impact on people around him.
And I, I'm like super grateful to experience any time with this person.
He's a really close person to me.
I'm sure it's going to be a very insightful response to that question.
So I'm eager to hear that as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:01:19):
Yeah.
I hope and Josh, thank you again so much for all the insight, sharing vulnerability,
really, really loved having the opportunity to chat with you today.
And yeah, that's it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you, Lou.
Thank you, Sarah.
Yeah.
And I'm just, we've been waiting very long to be able to do this, but we got there, man.
(01:01:42):
We finally did it.
Yeah.
It happened.
I had faith.
I knew you'd come through eventually.
Yeah.
I just, I had to get the certification that that was a lot of my time of just studying
and just crying, honestly.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Force yourself through the university.
I did.
I, I did.
That was the hardest thing I could have done and I'm so happy that I did.
(01:02:06):
So anyways, Josh, it was great.
Great chatting with you again until next time, guys.
Keep breaking barriers and we'll see you in the next episode.
Nice.
I think that's on this exhilarating journey through resilience, determination and the
pursuit of excellence.
As we wrap up this episode of breaking barriers beyond finish line, remember that the finish
(01:02:28):
line is really just the beginning.
Keep pushing your limits, breaking down walls and reaching for the stars.
So whether you're an athlete and entrepreneur or simply someone seeking inspiration, know
that you have the power to go beyond what you thought it was possible.
You enjoy today's episode.
Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned for more captivating stories, expert insights
(01:02:52):
and practical tips.
And don't forget to share this podcast with fellow dream chasers and barrier breakers.
Until next time, this is Grep and Lill signing off, keeping breaking barriers, my friends.
Remember, it is not about the finish line.
It is about what lies beyond it and it starts with you.
Welcome Titan Six Actual and 3GX mental performance.
(00:06):
Welcome you to Breaking Barriers Beyond the Finish Line.
I'm your co-host Lou Greco from Titan Six Actual and alongside me is the brilliant Sarah Grippi
Snyder from 3GX.
In this podcast we'll dive deep into the human spirit, resilience and the relentless pursuit
of excellence.
So whether you're an athlete and entrepreneur or simply someone seeking inspiration, this
(00:28):
show is for you.
We'll explore stories of triumph, setbacks and unwavering determination that propels
us forward.
As a retired Army Engineer Reservist, I've faced challenges on the battlefield and beyond
and now I want a mission to help you discover your heritage.
And I'm Sarah, also known as Coach Gripp, a mental performance coach.
(00:50):
Together we dive into the psychology of peak performance, mindset strategies and how to
overcome mental blocks.
Whether you're aiming for the podium or simply striving for personal growth, we've got you
covered.
Join us as we explore the intersection of physical and mental strength, share expert insights
and celebrate those who go beyond the finish line.
(01:11):
So grab your headphones, lace up your sneakers and let's break barriers together.
Remember it's not just about crossing the finish line, it's about what lies beyond.
Welcome to Breaking Barriers Beyond the Finish Line.
Stay tuned for upcoming episodes where we'll feature incredible guests, share practical
tips and ignite the fire within you.
(01:32):
All right, guys, we are here joined with Josh Chesman.
See, I say it wrong already, Josh Chesman.
It's like the roll of the tongue just ended up happening.
Anyways, I met Josh at, it was the 2022 world champion in Canada and I actually had a tent
(01:57):
up and I was showcasing what 3GX was about and I actually was racing and I came back
and that's when I met Josh.
He was like, holy crap, what is 3GX?
And that's how me and him got to meet.
So two years later, I told him I was going to create a podcast.
I got to meet Liu last year and now here we are.
(02:19):
And I want Josh to explain who you are, but he's a father, he's a coach, he's an entrepreneur
and he's just a fantastic guy.
So Josh, would you like to explain yourself a little bit more in detail for our listeners?
Yeah, sure.
Yeah, I'm 35 and I have an almost five-year-old son.
(02:40):
I live in Victoria, BC.
So I've been in Canada my whole life essentially and my coaching career has morphed a lot.
Over the 14, 15 years I've been a coach, it started out as pretty simple cookie cutter
personal training and it's now morphed into offering gene testing, blood testing, getting
(03:04):
really into the crux and the ways to then optimize people's health, fitness, energy.
And I'm just in a lot of ways I'm like at the beginning of my career, which feels amazing.
Yeah, evolved a lot because when I first met you, what was your coaching more like whenever,
(03:25):
yeah, I was back in 2022?
Yeah, so I had just moved from Ontario to BC.
That was a really big move in my life.
I'll kind of get into the details of that.
So I was an established trainer in Peterborough, Ontario.
I worked my way up, I ended up getting the top personal trainer in Canada.
(03:47):
So I had like some pretty solid accolades, I was well known.
And then I ended up buying a gym with a friend of mine, which was actually a great idea.
It was really cool.
It was actually my first real step into the entrepreneurial space.
I can't really call myself as a trainer working for a corporation, not really an entrepreneur.
(04:08):
So that was like one of the first things I did that was majorly entrepreneurial.
Then when I got out here to Victoria, which was at the within the middle of COVID three
years ago now, I started in a new new province.
Like I knew I knew three people.
My two year old son at the time was one of those people.
(04:29):
So no one knew me, I had no relevance.
I had, I was starting over in a lot of ways in my life.
So how that took shape in my coaching was that I started to train those existing clients
that still wanted to work with me online and just started to build, you know, programs
(04:50):
and systems out so that I could still work with those folks that I really cared about.
And then also opened the opportunity up much like it did for a lot of people at the beginning
or through the middle of COVID, where all of a sudden online was much more of a possibility.
So my business went from being in person, one hour, one on one to this kind of plethora
(05:12):
of, of examples of what online coaching could look like.
And that was probably the biggest shift in person to then mainly online at that time.
Yeah.
And with that online type of practice.
Let's just explain the difference between the challenges and some of the benefits of
(05:34):
being able to work online.
Yeah.
So some of the benefits are that, I mean, timing is timing is much easier, right?
There's no travel to the, to the facility for whoever it is.
So right away there's, it's, you're saving some time, you know, you flip on your camera,
your computer's there, most people are working from a computer nowadays anyway.
(05:56):
So there's that ease.
The other benefit from a coaching standpoint is I can deliver content in different ways.
Right.
I'd like it much as you guys know, but my clients started, you know, I would, I would email them
certain things, right?
Attach things or I created, created like some online courses where they could then, they
(06:16):
could then view content via video that I had recorded.
So there were a lot more accessible tools and resources for those clients once I went
online.
And it really allowed me to differentiate.
So from the coach standpoint, it allowed me to differentiate what I was offering and
how I offered it.
(06:36):
And from the client standpoint, they, they see it as, okay, I'm getting a lot of value.
It looks a little different.
If I'm used to the one-on-one personal trainer in person, this looks a little different,
but I'm still getting a lot of value.
And I'd say the biggest shift or one of the downfalls to coaching online is, I mean, you
you're a good coach, Sarah.
(06:57):
So it's like, if we're coaching movement, we're definitely very limited to how good
the quality of the camera is on that side and the position of their body.
And like, there's a lot we can't do.
There's no tactile, there's no like an aesthetic queuing.
There's no like me spinning around to me and like, well, where's their pelvis?
Like what position?
So it is limiting in that nature.
(07:19):
And honestly, that hasn't been a big issue for me as it stands working mainly online
now because there's ways that we've been able to move around it and adjust to accommodate
their, their goals.
So you're touching on the physical side, but you're a human optimization coach, right?
(07:40):
That's your, your, is that your like official title?
You know what?
Human optimization coach.
I mean, I have that written down.
It usually begs the question of what the fuck is that?
So, so I mean, I am a health coach and how I'm like learning to phrase this for people.
I'm a health coach and I help people optimize their health, fitness and energy or their
(08:04):
health, fitness and mindset.
Right?
There's a pillar.
So I've heard, right.
I've heard you say it as more of like a holistic or a whole body approach.
And I love that.
I love that idea.
And it's one of the pillars for playing six actual.
So if, if the tactile side is a challenge, but you also haven't found that to be too
(08:29):
limiting.
And so if you're focusing a lot on the, the holistic person, how, how do you find that
as a, do you find challenges at all with how you deliver content that is focused more towards
and instead of physical, maybe it's a, you know, emotional or mindset driven content
(08:56):
or, or, or, you know, things that you're working through with clients.
Yeah.
That's a great question.
I'd say it doesn't feel very difficult to deliver that.
So there's this standpoint of well, being a coach, so there's this human interaction
and I'm trying my best to understand where this client is at.
And I'm trying my best to communicate well and interpret what they're saying and body
(09:18):
language, et cetera.
There's that whole just communicating and trying to like see each other and trying to
determine where this person's at.
But a lot of that type of content, whether it's like, whether it is mindset and I'm
hoping we can like get deeper on like, okay, what are they actually talking about mindset?
Like here's this word.
It's like, well, what am I doing?
What does that actually doing?
(09:39):
And as to answer this question, a lot of it can just be delivered in a conversation so
that sometimes that is as simple as a phone call.
Usually it is like a, you know, a web-based call zoom or whatever people are using.
And I find you can get a lot of the point across and I can also receive kind of the
where the client's at just, just from the conversation and video is better.
(10:03):
But yeah.
You can still catch on those, those, those body language cues, things that would be
lost if it was just a, if it was just a phone call.
So in that regard, you're right.
You know, COVID really didn't impact things other than it, you know, the positive positivity
of, all right, I don't have to travel.
(10:23):
So I have more time with a client.
Totally.
And for me, like I love taking notes and I love tracking things when I have clients.
So, and I didn't realize this at the time, but, you know, back eight years ago when I'm
with a client, I have my clipboard with my piece of paper, like I'm pretty limited.
I have to write everything down, right?
By pencil or pen, whether it's scheduling or programming or notes, but okay, it's versus
(10:48):
by doesn't feel good doing this or like whatever the thing is.
Whereas now, you know, I usually have, I'll have their, all their files open.
So then like during the conversation, I might be making a note, but then I can quickly go
back and like summarize it, give them the detail of it, present them with what we talked
about, adjust the program, adjust the habit formation, like whatever it is, it's just
(11:13):
easier to systematize things.
I think that's really the word I'm looking at here versus just everything being on paper.
Because like the truth is, I'm a really unorganized person, like for the most part, I'm like an
artist.
I'm just messy.
There's shit everywhere usually.
So when I have systems like that, I'm like, okay, good, I can just use this system.
(11:33):
Don't change it.
Don't adjust it.
Don't try to reinvent the wheel.
The system works.
Don't, yeah, it's not broken.
Touch anything.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So that's, that's been really helpful in that realm.
That's awesome.
Yeah.
And with those systems too, like that was definitely a learning experience.
Like you said, you, you learned that you were a little bit of a messy person and how do
(11:57):
you create a space for you to be able to give your best performance to your clients?
So I know that you just said like, what is, everyone talks about mindset and what does
that word mean?
Well, when we go through all these systems, like before you figured out this plan that
worked well for you, how did you get into this shift into this kind of challenge and
(12:21):
how did you deal with it whenever things got difficult?
Well, that's a cool question because I actually remember the moment that I shifted and it
was, it was an entrepreneur who told me, he said, it's not the people that are, you know,
it's not the people that have hit rock bottom or the people that are doing really well that
(12:42):
I'm worried about.
It's the people in the middle just coasting.
And I was like, holy fuck.
I was like, you know what?
I am coasting.
I'm feeling somewhat comfortable in my life.
You know, financially where I'm living with my relationships, et cetera, et cetera, et
cetera.
I was just okay.
And I think I pretty quickly realized that for me feeling okay, I was actually like, I
(13:09):
was not keeping up with the trend.
I was actually slipping backwards.
Yeah.
So I was, I was on a trajectory I couldn't even see.
Right.
It's like keeping up with inflation.
Like inflation's not level.
It's a chronic, you know, a constant up, you know, 3%, whatever it is depends, but like
(13:29):
I was, I was just maintaining like this, hitting the horizon, hitting the straight line across
and I was actually falling behind because I wasn't keeping up.
So that was the moment where I was like, I need to invest in business because I'm not
a good business person.
I don't have this.
I don't have the skill.
I, I co-owned a gym for four years.
I learned some things, but I don't know how to run a business.
(13:50):
Right.
So I invested in a business program.
I learned quite a bit from that.
And I started just to try things and that's pretty huge conversation because I was trying
so many things.
I was wearing like 15 hats all of a sudden.
I was like learning about social media marketing.
I was learning about email funnels.
(14:12):
I was learning about landing pages.
I was learning about funnels.
I was learning about programs to work out programs for actual programming for clients.
I was working on how to system, how to systematize habits, how to deliver meal plans, how to
track calories, how to take notes on mindset.
(14:32):
Like there was just like, there was so many.
So you have your, right.
You have your like your skill that you are well versed at and still learning and exploring.
But now on top of that, you have to learn this whole other business side of things that
had to be daunting.
Totally.
Super daunting.
(14:52):
How did that translate in terms of what you shared with your clients?
Was that something that, because I know you talked a lot about being vulnerable.
Is that something that you shared your vulnerability with your clients, you know, as it like reinforcement?
Yeah.
And partly, and it's dependent a little bit on the client.
(15:14):
So I do have some clients that are younger men that it's basically in like this coaching
mentor role.
So clients like that, where we do talk about business, I'll straight up be like, guys,
like, by the way, I don't have this fully figured out.
I'm giving you resources based on people I'm learning from.
But like, like I'm not going to teach you organization skills when I'm like, I don't
(15:36):
really have a good manage, you know, at the time, if I'm like, I don't, my shit's all
over the place.
So vulnerability is key, as you said.
And yeah, I always try to be vulnerable with clients.
So there's lots of examples of that.
But in terms of kind of the business and like wearing so many hats suddenly and like struggling
to be organized and struggling with like fucking payment processors and like the whole gambit.
(16:01):
Yeah.
And I think then the great thing was like as I'm sharing like, you know, hey, I'm gonna,
I'm wearing some new hats that I got to see how they fit.
People understand that.
Like my clients like, yeah, it makes sense.
Like, you know, get back to me later or take your time, like whatever it was.
Like I think people gave me some grace because it's, you know, it's obvious.
(16:24):
It's like, okay, you're going through something completely different.
Fair enough.
Showing that vulnerability, something that I was thinking about, have you ever seen
like, I forget what the TV show is, but it's fitness trainers that gain 40 pounds so they
can lose the weight with their clients.
And most of the time these fitness and trainers have always been fit their whole entire life.
(16:49):
So when they finally gain the 40 and try to lose it, they realize what their clients are
going through.
So the fact that you kind of can to match that vulnerability, like we're doing this together,
it's really powerful.
And I don't think a lot of people realize that like you can have all the knowledge,
but if you don't show people how you can like, hey, I'm also going to be experiencing these
(17:11):
things and we're going to work through these together.
Now it's like a collaboration compared to like, okay, I have a teacher and I just have
to listen to this person.
It feels less connected if it's like that.
So I really like the vulnerability piece that you give.
And with that, I was curious, since I know that you have your tattoo on your chest called
(17:32):
suffer, I mean, not called suffer, it is the word suffer.
Is that part of something that you share with your clients?
And like, what does that specifically mean anyways?
Yeah, so I had a client that interviewed me on a podcast a couple of years back and
and they were like, you know, this is like, this is the hardest working tattoo I've ever
(17:55):
seen because I was explaining like, they just got it right away.
They're like, I like that and I'll tell you why.
And it was in the realm of, you know, I understand that you're talking about discomfort as something
to embrace, you know, we're trying to, we have this couple of, there's a book, comfort
crisis.
It's, yeah, I could have written that essentially, I didn't, he wrote, he's a better writer,
(18:16):
but I was like, I read that.
I'm like, yeah, yeah, that's, yep, I, yep, I agree.
So they touched on the fact of like embracing discomfort, stretching the comfort zone, but
also stretching the, the, or I should say, changing the relationship we have with discomfort.
We're talking about the weather earlier, for instance, it's like so many fucking people
complain about the weather.
(18:36):
It's like, we're not even homeless, the people that are complaining.
Like I had to put a sweater on them.
Like, is that, is that something to complain about?
I have a sweater to put on and I feel fine.
Like, right.
So if it, it first started or I first realized that this was a powerful, we'll call it like
(18:58):
a mantra or something for me.
When I was training before I met you guys, you included Sarah, I was training for a 24
hour run and a friend of mine, we created this challenge.
We ended up training for this challenge that led us to run on true form runners.
(19:18):
So for those of us, for those of you guys listening that don't know what that is, it's
just a non motorized treadmill.
They have a bend like this.
They're 30% harder than treadmills.
You don't plug them in and we had a whole crew set it up so that it could actually be
a sensory deprived zone.
So it was a completely black box.
You weren't allowed headphones.
(19:38):
You weren't allowed to watch.
You're not wearing a heart rate monitor.
We had a tech team remove the monitor so we couldn't see our distance.
We couldn't see our time.
We didn't know our watts.
We didn't know any information.
There's no dial biometric data.
During the training for this, I started to realize that this is a lot about my, my relationship
(20:00):
with comfort, with discomfort, with doing hard things, with embracing hard things, with
complaining, with needing support, with figuring out how I react and respond in like adversity,
needing adversity to then experiment with how I am.
Because I think a lot of people, myself included, live pretty, pretty easy ish lives.
(20:27):
There's always things that we struggle with.
But again, like I have warm clothes.
I have a roof.
I have good food to eat.
I make some money.
I have good relationships.
I'm loved.
I'm cared for.
It's a pretty easy life for me.
So, so that I don't end up like a fucking soup sandwich, like softer than hell, I have
to create some adversity so that I can become something that's a little bit more resilient
(20:53):
or has a higher capacity.
And suffer is the reminder.
It's okay to do hard things.
Like it doesn't have to be good or bad.
It's just like, it's okay.
It's inevitable.
So it was hard.
So that, so you're, so I'm cold.
So I'm lonely.
So I'm angry.
It's like, it's okay.
(21:15):
Feel those things.
That's okay.
All I was going to say is I call that we're all domesticated.
We're, we don't know how to survive outside.
That's all I wanted to say.
Yeah.
Yeah, that's true.
We're like the house cat.
We don't know where we get in the litter box.
We don't know where to shit.
We spin around for 40 seconds.
So that's it.
Pretty much.
Yeah.
(21:35):
It's like you said, our base level of needs are satisfied.
So to that degree, it's like everything that we tend to experience from a discomfort level.
It's not, it's usually not life threatening.
It's usually not earth shattering either.
Not to say that those things don't happen.
But on a day to day basis, it's a great reminder to realize that I guess it could always be
(22:01):
worse.
Yeah.
And I mean, it will, it will be worse.
Like for all of us, right?
And it's building that resilience, like you pointed out, you know, is, is crucial to not
only for you to have it, but for also for, for other people that may be relying on you,
that you have that resiliency.
(22:22):
Yeah.
100%.
And, and I will say like back to the, or the vulnerability conversation, like, I don't
have it all figured out.
And I'm not the kind of guy that just like can take, can take everything either.
Like, truthfully.
Like, I think if I didn't train, if I didn't work on this mindset stuff, I'd probably be
below average in a lot of ways.
(22:43):
I'd probably be the guy eating like egg McMuffins, like complaining about his life, like truthfully.
I'm not that far away from that.
And it's like the fact, I think the fact that I realize that I'm like, okay, you know what?
Like, I am more similar to more people than some people might think or than I think.
I'm like, I'm not that far away.
I'm not too many bad decisions away from being in a real tight, tight position.
(23:07):
So it's like, it's humbling in a sense.
It's very humbling.
So I mean, you, you mentioned that conversation that was kind of like the, the turning point.
So it's almost like you, you had this inside you and just really needed someone external
to, to speak it to life.
(23:28):
But you also received it really well.
Yeah.
So, so it begs the question, was there something already in place, a mentor, a friend, something
that would have kind of set the table for you to be able to receive it?
Because, you know, it said like, you know, the teacher presents itself once the student
(23:48):
is ready, right?
So you happen to be ready at that moment.
I'm sure there were a few things that, that, like I said, set the table for that.
And I'd love to explore that if, if you can pinpoint that journey.
Yeah.
Maybe I'll start with just describing kind of like what my, what my mental and physical
environment was like.
So I think some people can relate to this, but so I chose not to get vaccinated.
(24:14):
So right there, there's a lot of, lot of differences was going through a really challenging breakup
with my, my now X.
We have a great relationship now.
I want to say that.
And at the time it was terrible for both of us.
So we were living together, trying to find separate places.
(24:34):
We had just moved across the country away from our families and we had a, a one and
a half year old son.
So yeah, maybe like not, is that the best thing to do at the time?
She really wanted to move across and I wanted to see if I could be resilient enough to accommodate
that knowing that we weren't going to be together.
(24:55):
I knew that that's okay.
I wasn't holding onto that.
I, I use it as a challenge.
I say, can I leave everything in a lot of ways?
Can I leave everything even if it's, you know, or keeping distances out now or relationship
or pardon me, keeping relationships at that distance.
Can I, can I be okay with shifting across the country and kind of restarting?
As I said, with the training that my, my job changed, relationship changed, support changed.
(25:22):
So we had not being vaccinated, I wasn't allowed in gyms, started working out in the shitty,
shitty, shitty living or laundry room that I had with no windows.
It felt like a jail cell to be honest.
It was brutal for me.
It was brutal, good reminder, but brutal.
Basically just knew my son, you know, first, first time dad, a single dad at that point,
(25:45):
going through a hard relationship in kind of a shitty apartment.
And I think realizing that I didn't want to feel the, I didn't want to be in the same
position I was at that moment.
Like I didn't want to be there too long.
So I needed something to change.
(26:07):
So back to your question or back to your kind of statement, you're like, you know, you
heard that advice, the teacher presents itself when the students ready.
I think I was, I was in a lot of pain, like, quote unquote, like I didn't like the position
I was in.
I knew why I was in that position.
And I wanted to do what I could to, to progress out of that position.
(26:30):
And there was a lot of things I was trying to progress.
So the, the thing I, I did was I got back to like maintaining what I could, which was
like fitness.
So I said, control the controllables.
Yeah.
That's a, that's a very good way to say it.
The controllables.
So food, sleep, stress, wasn't doing a super good job with that.
(26:51):
I had a lot of challenges.
The one major decision I made, which was the first decision, the first time I ever made
this decision was joining a men's group.
And that has been paramount.
And the reason that came about was again, I was open to receiving, I knew I wasn't in
a great position.
(27:11):
I had my ex's friend came over one night.
This is like three weeks after moving here to Victoria.
And he's like, dude, you should join a men's group.
And I'm like, great.
I got, I like, this is my low point.
This is my new low point.
Great.
Let's, let's join them and see what happens.
Right.
Right.
Three years later been going every week.
(27:33):
I see a lot of support.
We get accountability.
I'm there to help the other men.
That's been like paramount.
So yeah, I think it's just like realizing internally, I was like, wow, this is hard
for me.
Like this is, this is really tough.
And I don't actually have to, I don't have to continue to deal with these things in the
(27:55):
same way.
I can become more resilient.
So I can just, I can be in it, become more resilient, get more support, be vulnerable,
ask for, ask for support.
And like, and in a lot of ways, like this is the adversity that I was looking for.
Like I created this adversity.
I put myself in this position to see, Hey, can I get to a point where I'm feeling good
again?
(28:16):
So it's interesting because, you know, I had, you know, a bunch of notes, things, high level
points like, Hey, this would be great talking points if we, if the conversation should lull.
But it's funny because things are just flowing in a way that I would have never imagined
because you're talking about how you hit this point and you're like, screw it, I asked for
(28:42):
this.
I wanted to build my resilience.
And you made a statement when I first got to meet you.
And it was like obstacles or really just opportunities.
So, you know, if more people could understand that, I think we'd all be better off for it.
Right.
And what could have been like an opportunity to spiral out of control even further.
(29:06):
Sure.
Instead of just saying, staying on the street, you know, you could have actually been on
a decline even though, you know, to your analogy, you know, if you are just maintaining, you
are declining, but it could have gotten much worse.
And instead of you had this mindset shift of time out, I asked for this, this is an
(29:26):
opportunity, not just an obstacle.
And I love that.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah, it's a visceral feeling for me actually thinking about that.
Thinking about how I felt for most days, like how I felt in those moments was like, was
not very good.
So was that, was that something that you brought immediately to the men's group?
(29:49):
Like, hey, I'm in this.
Some people are very open from Jump Street.
Others, you know, they need, you know, to feel that level of comfort first.
Yeah.
And then where were you at?
And then what did you see as the biggest hurdle for most guys that were part of this group?
Well, I, again, I was, I was in a lot of like pain, right?
(30:10):
I was, as I've just said, so I went in and I was like, you know what, I don't know any
of these guys.
I don't owe them anything.
They don't owe me anything.
Why don't I just be fucking completely vulnerable and see what happens?
And so I went in and I explained, you know, got had whatever I had 20 minutes to say who
I was, what I'm going through, what, what brought me to men's work.
(30:32):
That's usually the question that you get asked when you join.
And it's like, okay, here we go.
And I said exactly, you know, what I said to you guys.
And it's like, okay, cool.
Yeah, you're welcome here.
It's like, great.
So the vulnerability was validated.
So we were like, all right, great.
Thank God.
(30:53):
Yeah.
And I took that leap and I think, I think, you know, another angle to this is like one
of the reasons I did that is because I wanted to, I wanted to feel different, but I wanted
to feel better and I knew that I could be a better version of myself.
(31:14):
So I had that belief of like, and I know there's a lot of people listening that that
feel that way, but I know there's a lot of people listening that don't feel that way,
that don't actually see that it's possible to feel better or to perceive themselves as
someone different or more, more grateful or more integrity or more disciplined or more
fit or more healthier, more, you know, business savvy, whatever the hell it is, a better parent,
(31:37):
maybe it's all those things.
I think for me, I just, I was like 100% I can be better and I, and I almost always
believe that about myself.
So that's usually not the issue is the self belief.
It's usually just like lunging myself or like catapulting myself into rooms like a new men's
group where I'm like, cool, here's where I'm at.
(31:58):
Like this is where I might be lacking.
This is what I'm pretty good at, but I'm here to be helped and then to help when I, when
I know how that happens.
Vulnerability is fucking magical.
When you're, when you're in the face of people, when you're in front of people that understand
what it is.
Right.
And you understand, have good intentions and also, you know, have the, the, the tools,
(32:23):
the skill set to actually help.
Otherwise it could be a train wreck.
So, you know, but, but, but, but thankfully it, it was an opportunity that, that was a
positive opportunity.
You took that leap.
It's just, I bring this up because, you know, I have friends and family members where they,
(32:46):
they have experienced like, I'm going to be, you know, I've witnessed them being vulnerable
to, to people that great intentions don't have skill set to address the needs that are
being brought to them, but also don't have the emotional intelligence to say, I don't
know the answer, but I'm going to help you find it.
(33:10):
And I think that's key is like people understanding like, okay, don't, don't just leave somebody
out, you know, you know, waiting in deep waters, just, you know, try and help them or help
them find the help that they need.
So 100%.
Yeah.
Vulnerability is key.
It is certainly key.
(33:30):
And we, as, you know, wanting to be positive members of society should also remember that
if someone is being vulnerable to us, we have an obligation to steer them if we can, or
find, help them find the help that they need.
Yeah.
I think that's a great message.
(33:50):
Yeah.
I wanted to add too, with just being able to be vulnerable.
I think another issue that people have with being vulnerable is the judgment from others.
I see it all the time where people will purposely not do behaviors they want because maybe somebody's
watching, I'm not going to do it right.
It's going to be silly.
(34:11):
And I think pairing the vulnerability of allowing you to be yourself and having a quote, unquote,
judgment-free zone, those two are challenging to have if you feel like everybody is going
to be viewing you a certain way.
And something that's really powerful, and you kind of got to notice it when you moved
(34:32):
across country, I also get to experience a lot while traveling in this RV.
Nobody knows me here.
I can be exactly who I am, and I will never see this person again.
And it's really powerful because now when I'm hanging out with my friends and family,
I realize, like, let me just be myself.
But once again, being vulnerable and just taking that judgment away, it's just so powerful
(34:55):
allowing you to be yourself.
And I think pairing those two things together, plus, like what you were saying about controlling
controllables and not being able to control specific things, which it is in my book, page
25 in confidence.
I was like, we were talking about that.
I was like, that's a perfect way to understand what are specific things that you can control.
(35:19):
How can you be vulnerable in those spaces?
How do we remove that judgment and the things we can't control?
We can just kind of leave that as a space right now.
It's just like, okay, I can't be vulnerable right now, and I'm having a hard time with
judgment, but it's allowing you to at least break apart from 100% not being able to be
yourself.
Maybe it starts out 75, 25, or actually, yeah, the uncontrollable, as I meant to say, and
(35:45):
then 50, 50, and then eventually it'll turn 100% where maybe I can control all these things.
So I just thought that was really powerful, like adding the vulnerability with the judgment
piece, because man, I wish people would get out of their shallow a little bit, and it's
difficult because we always think somebody's going to judge us.
Yeah, it's interesting, right?
(36:06):
Because it's not all the time, or do we even get judged?
It's just like that fear, right?
Like the fear of what's the stat, like the biggest fear in the world speaking to public
and the second is dying or something.
Yeah, like fear.
Something along those lines.
Yeah.
Yeah.
It's great.
Maybe as humans, we're scared of other humans.
We're scared of being judged.
(36:28):
And it's, I think it's a superpower and maybe a kind of a rare superpower to be truly okay
being authentic and just letting it slide off your back.
I don't know too many people that can be, that have been able to connect in that way
to themselves.
We can just all be like Adam Sandler, where he's just wearing scrubs outside, eating a
(36:51):
jar of pickles.
He's like, I'm famous and I don't even give a crap.
You know what I mean?
Like, why can't we all be like that?
It's true.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Have a fermented food, your choice and wear some comfort clothing.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Be you, be comfortable.
Who cares who judges?
It's not, that's not the point.
As long as you're happy, that's all that matters.
(37:14):
That's right.
And yeah, the great thing about judgments, it's like, well, it says more about the person
judging anyway.
So, I mean, I'm not an expert on this by any means, but it's usually interesting.
So if I'm like, why the fuck is Adam Sandler like that?
It's like, well, what inside of me is triggering?
And, you know, am I not okay looking a certain way or am I not okay presenting similar to
(37:38):
that?
Or it's very interesting.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
People lash out, people lash out because they're upset with how far they've gone along, like
how much they've done in their life.
And I think it comes a lot with age.
I remember somebody asked me my age and since I'm a female, they're like, I'm sorry to ask
(38:00):
you this, but I have to get, for me to get like a hunting license, I had to ask my age.
I'm just like, I'm proud to be 30.
Like I've accomplished everything that I wanted to, but I understand why he asked that because
a lot of people are like, oh no, like I haven't accomplished what I wanted to.
And then when other people thrive, they get upset that they haven't done anything with
their lives, which probably isn't true.
(38:21):
They've probably done a lot in their life, but it just feels like they haven't.
So they get this persona about themselves and now they think other people are judging
them and it's just like, do you realize there's just this random voice in your head that's
creating your own chaos?
You know, it's not, they might not even being saying anything, but you're over here creating
this, um, this alternative world and it's hard for you to like open up your eyes that
(38:47):
that's not happening.
Totally.
You know, one of the most humbling things I heard recently was I was listening to a podcast
on body language and I thought until that, and this is one resource, but anyway, you'll
understand the point.
The study was like, we're about 30% accurate with what we gauge based on body language.
And I'm like, well, that's not very fucking accurate then is it?
(39:09):
So if I think when I'm on that I'm, that I'm going to be 30% up to 30% accurate, then I'm
totally creating realities all over the place.
So it that are not necessarily even real, right?
Yeah, like, I don't want you to be right now.
Yeah.
All right.
(39:29):
So that's if you're only monitoring, so I understand this, that's if you're only monitoring
visual cues, right?
So one component.
So it really does highlight the fact that if you take everything, the words, the inflection,
the tone, right, the body language, it all paints a picture that if one, even one component
(39:55):
goes away, it's kind of like, you know, something that gets miss misunderstood, misinterpreted,
that's a text message or an email because you've, you've now missed two of at least
three components that even the most skilled writer, you know, trying to find perfect words
if that other person doesn't receive those words the same way, because maybe their vocabulary
(40:20):
is limited or vice versa.
Yeah, there's bound to be problems.
So that's, that's incredible 30%.
Something like that.
Yeah, don't quote me on it, but I remember being like, whoa, I thought it was like, I
thought it was a lot more than that.
I thought we had this down to a bit of a science, not a bit of a, you know, hypothesis.
But right.
And I kind of want to transition into something slightly different, but off of this topic,
(40:47):
you know, when it talks about body language and not physically, I meant verbally what
we're saying, I know that when you have your son, you take complete time off and you don't
want him to see you on your phone and I know that this isn't like you verbally talking,
but it's, it's you showing a certain way of life to make sure that he can stay on track
(41:11):
and be his true self.
So I did want to talk about that a little bit on how you present yourself to your son,
so he can get the best childhood for himself.
Oh, here we go.
The juice.
Yeah.
Yep.
The tea.
The tea.
Yeah.
I'm doing some, some cacao, something.
(41:35):
So if I, if I can answer this question accurately or interpret the question accurately, you're
saying, you know, what am I doing as a father to set myself my son up for success?
Quote, quote.
Yeah.
And it doesn't have to be verbally because that's why I was bringing up like you don't
work, you try to stay off your phone as much as possible to present yourself.
(41:56):
And that is a body language right there.
Yeah.
You know, I think, I think just to take a step back a little bit, like I have my own
perceptions of how I want to be as a dad.
And I also understand that he is not necessarily going to see me that way.
So there's that.
And I'm also learning from other people a lot with parenting.
(42:20):
I remember having, I remember when my, my ex, his mom was, was pregnant or doula said,
are you scared to be a father?
And I said, like, I was like, no, I'm not at all.
And honestly, that was like, I think I just wasn't totally in touch with it.
I thought I was going to be really confident.
And I actually realized, I'm like, there's a lot of huge struggles, like truthfully.
(42:44):
So there, there's me being vulnerable because I actually thought I wasn't going to have
any issues with it.
And I know that actually probably sounds ridiculous for any parents.
It's like, I think it, if I can interpret a little bit here, you know, as a dad, it's
like, all right, in the moment, you're like, no, I am not afraid of the challenges and
(43:07):
obstacles and opportunities.
That's not what you're afraid of.
Yeah, you're going to have a bunch.
And those are terrifying.
Some people are terrified just at the notion of having to deal with that.
So I would venture a guess that, yeah, you were probably very enthusiastic about being
a dad because of all the wonderful opportunities that make those difficult times worth every,
(43:31):
every minute.
Yeah.
So, but it is hard.
You're right.
Yeah.
You know, tons of examples of my own personal life that I still struggle with as a dad.
But, you know, there are far more positive things to look at, whether it's, you know,
(43:52):
memories or whether it's things that have yet to happen that I know are opportunities.
So yeah, I appreciate your perspective on that, Luke.
I think that that probably is more accurate.
You know, I didn't think I was just going to nail everything all the time, but to, you
know, feel again, it's back to like the tattoo or the obstacle being the way or the growth
(44:12):
mindset or whatever, like there are going to be obstacles.
Having a kid is 100% lots of obstacles in a sense, but obviously there's so much beauty
and gratitude and joy and life that we experienced beyond that.
To your question, Sarah, I try to look at it like, well, I think a lot of dads look
(44:36):
at it like this.
When our kids are young, my kid, my, my son's almost five.
So he's still very young and like I am such an important part of his, his life.
Like I am, I don't know, but I'm, I'm at least fucking 40% of like who he thinks about in
a sense.
(44:56):
Yeah.
So we, we co-parent.
So he either sees me or he sees his mom.
So there's not often, it's not often where he's actually seeing both of us interact together.
There's little bits, but like in the grand scheme, it's like just daddy or just mummy.
So I think there's almost more responsibility from that.
(45:18):
I could be wrong.
This is just how I'm processing the thought because it's just me.
So it, it, like it matters.
You know, I make it, I make it matter.
What I do matters.
So if he sees me on my phone and not that he hasn't seen me on my phone, there's times
(45:41):
where I'm on my phone, but if I'm not intentionally on my phone, he's going to pick up on that.
Yeah.
Right.
If I'm distracting myself with whatever and anything, any vice, like he will notice that
he might not be able to articulate what that is, but he's going to feel that because I
(46:03):
think children are extremely intuitive.
And I want to try to be, it's not even a want.
It's a, I think I need to fucking do that.
I think that's my responsibility for him to him to say, man, like, you know, this is
me talking to him when he's older, like, man, I just so you know, like I tried really hard.
(46:27):
I know I fucked up in a lot of ways.
That's inevitable.
You know, you're traumatized in these different ways as it's inevitable, but like just so
you know, like I fucking tried.
And I think that's, I think that's really important.
And I think in a lot of ways, like that's one of the few things that I can do.
(46:50):
Like, you know, I can love him and I can just try.
And in some ways it's probably not, there's probably not too many more things I could
add to that list.
Now, I've remembered those are big things that you pointed out being present, being
intentional and living with integrity.
(47:12):
So knowing, you know, full well that, you know, your, your actions are going to have
a lasting effect.
And so I better be very intentional and have the integrity of like, you know, what I'm
doing, what I'm, what I'm saying, what I'm trying to teach other people, I'm also going
to live that.
Yeah.
And, and even down to like my internal dialogue, like kind of, it's kind of like taking stock
(47:34):
of like all the different relationships in life, like the relationship I have myself,
with my son, with my ex, with his mom, with other parents, with random people on the street.
It's like, I do think these things matter.
And that's not to say like, you know, I suck the fun out of everything and everything serious,
but my, what you mentioned the presence, like two of my goals in life, if I was to be known
(48:02):
for anything in life, I would hope that I would be remembered partly for being intentional
and being present.
That's not everything I want to be known as someone that's fun and a friggin goof and
musical and whatever a good role model, et cetera.
But like if I only had two, I'd probably choose those two.
(48:24):
And the reason I would choose presence is because I think when you, when I feel someone
is present and engaged with me, it feels, it feels vastly different than when someone
is not present.
Like it feels so different and it's hard to.
(48:44):
Very authentic.
It's so authentic, right?
And then having intention is like living life with purpose.
It's, it's, it's interrupting moments of autopilot and it's, it's like injecting like, Hey, I'm
(49:05):
trying to live this moment versus just like being a victim in life or letting it slide
by or getting distracted a lot, which again, like I am all those things in a sense, right?
I do those things in a sense, but it's okay.
How often can I be intentional about this thing?
(49:26):
Even if it's like, I'm intentionally going to watch fucking TV and lay down.
But it's like, you know, I, that was a decision I made.
Right.
It's taxing as fuck.
Yes.
But I think it's worth it.
But to your point, you have to make a choice sometimes like to, to recharge the batteries,
(49:46):
but as long as that's an intentional choice and not something where you're just mindlessly
going through something because it's easy, it's convenient, it's comfortable.
It's as opposed to like, no, no, no, I'm feeling a certain way.
That's my body speaking to me saying you need to recover.
Your mind is overwhelmed, whatever it is, you know, you know, emotionally, physically,
(50:11):
spiritually, whatever, where you're like, okay, I'm checking in with my feelings.
And yeah, I need, this is an intentional decision versus I just, I deserve to take, you know,
a couple of days off and then you just turn to the mush.
Yeah.
Yeah.
And I don't have it all nailed, but that's, that's kind of, that's kind of where I'd go
(50:36):
with this.
And actually, you know what?
I want to, I want to mention something because around the idea of being growth-minded, being
present, being intentional, embracing the discomfort, these types of things.
I actually had a client give a testimonial and I, and I was, I posted a video.
So if anyone follows me on social media, you'll see it.
And in, in this video, he says, I said, you know, in 30 seconds, explain kind of where
(51:00):
you are from, from where you were.
And he said, I'm going to read this out.
You guys okay with that?
Yeah, go for it, man.
So he said, when we first started, I used to avoid difficult things.
Now I look for them.
Why?
Because doing the hard, but right thing gives, gives me, he said, a satisfaction that the
easy path never could.
(51:22):
It's not about perfection.
It's about growth and growth often comes disguised as comfort.
And I was like, dude, I'm glad that you realize that.
I think that's going to be an extremely helpful North Star for you.
Yeah.
And for a lot of people, you know, hopefully hearing, hearing it for the first time, you
(51:43):
know, through this opportunity, but also, you know, on your website and socials, wherever
you have it closely, I think that it's important, you know, for people to, to hear the
impact, especially something so profound as that.
Yeah.
I get fired up from that when clients went just even people, I didn't even need to know
them.
I get so fired up when people discover that, you know, they're capable or there's an
(52:08):
improvement in self confidence or there's something where they're like, you know what,
like, improving self esteem, like I can do this.
I think people forget that when they were learning how to walk or learning how to talk
or write, those were really difficult things.
And it's not like it just came very fluent, you know, when you're one, two, three years
(52:29):
old.
And when we're adults, we think that, I guess we kind of forget that.
And I know that our memories aren't always there.
And when we're that old, I mean, when we're that young, but that's a thing that I like
the, that quote that you, your client said, because it's like, discomfort is going to
be everywhere.
I know like you talked about what's one of the scariest things for people.
(52:53):
Public speaking is all, it's one of my things.
I know that, but that's why I do a podcast so I can grow past those certain things.
Are they always going to be great?
I listen to these recordings, like, man, my voice is terrible.
And I, why did I say that?
And you know, all these things, but yet I'm posting them, I'm proud of them.
(53:14):
And it's going to be uncomfortable for a little while and eventually it isn't going to be.
So how can I challenge that even more?
And I liked how your client said that.
It's just like, I want that discomfort.
I really, I really appreciate having that discomfort.
And no, that's a great, that's a great testimonial.
Yeah.
Well, there's a level of like, or a, you know, there's a side of gratitude and that too.
(53:39):
It's like, good.
I get to, I get to experience some discomfort.
Like it's, it's maybe to some people it's a strange kind of twist, but there's, there's
a lot of power and there's comfort in realizing that you're, that, that we have things in life
that we can be grateful for.
We can choose to be grateful for anything we want, whether it's pain or loss or celebration
(54:05):
or whatever, whatever the thing.
Like we, we always have choice over that.
And I think in some ways, if we can set ourselves up, like I try to do a lot of the time to
be grateful for discomfort, for pain, for things like that, that are just like in our
day to day.
(54:26):
My thought and my hope is that it, it puts us in a better position for when we, when we
were faced with, you know, real loss or real pain.
Like, you know, I have a friend that was paraplegic, is paraplegic now as a two years ago.
Like that, that's what I mean, like stuff like that, where it's like real loss or real,
real confronting shifts in our identities or, you know, we lose a sibling, we lose a
(54:51):
parent, we lose a child, any of those things.
I haven't experienced too much of that.
I haven't lost my parents, I haven't lost my son.
And it's like, it's all inevitable at some part of the lineup.
So versus avoiding all that stuff, you know, I think if we can set ourselves up to just
(55:11):
be grateful for what we have here, it's probably going to be a better quality of life at the
same time.
Very well put.
I appreciate you explaining that.
And now, Lou, I wanted to ask you, do you have anything else you wanted to ask before
we ask him who his next guest he wants to have and what question you'd like to ask them?
(55:34):
Yeah, absolutely.
I know being conscious of your time, we're very grateful for that time for us.
I know that you are on a time schedule.
So real quick parting thoughts.
What would you tell, you know, first time listeners that don't know, you know, anything
about you, that obviously now they know, you know, your overall, you know, holistic optimization
(56:00):
coach and things that you've experienced personally and what you bring, the interactions
with the men's group.
All those are wonderful.
In the beginning, you did mention also, you know, about some biohacking, functional blood
testing, things like that.
So if there's anything that you would like to like parting thoughts would like to, you
(56:25):
know, listeners to know services that you provide, shameless plug away, man.
Yes, yes, go for it.
We're glad to have you on here.
So yeah, thanks.
I appreciate your guys time and the opportunity as well.
The first thing I'd say is actually advice and usually I ask for, ask if I can give advice,
but I don't know who's listening.
So I can't ask.
(56:47):
I would say either believe in yourself or find someone that will believe in your, believe
in you number one.
And now to answer your question.
We are offering something called the deep health protocol.
I have a small team of people on my side and we're helping a lot of entrepreneurs.
(57:08):
We're helping a lot of people create some real, real positive health change in their
life and we are doing that through doing gene testing, blood testing, stool testing.
And then we help people because we are coaches at the same time, implement all of those things
that might have to change or might offer so that people can true truly optimize their
(57:31):
health.
So if people are interested in more about that, they can DM me or email me on any social
media platform.
I'm on Instagram, I'm on Facebook, I'm on Tik Tok and on my website is JoshChassman.com.
So any of these things, I'm hoping to have some more free resources.
(57:53):
I have a free ebook.
People could download right now.
It's like 50 pages.
It's not even like a short thing and it talks a little bit more about my story.
If you can be inspired by that or relate to it in some way, that could be a great resource
for you and that's available on the website or on any of my socials.
And I don't know.
I think that like self-belief is at the core.
(58:17):
So it's just like if you don't believe in yourself right now and you have the vulnerability
to find someone that might believe in you, that's going to really fucking help.
It's going to make all decisions.
It's going to steer a lot of your future decisions based on that one component.
Yeah.
And if you can't believe in yourself or you can't find somebody to believe in you, a nice
(58:41):
little middle ground is finding a neutral thing that you can always believe in.
So let's go off of racing.
It's like maybe you won't win.
You won't get podium.
You might not get top 10, but you know that you always cross that finish line.
So that could be a neutral thought.
Like I believe that I finish every race.
(59:03):
So if anybody has a hard time with that, that's always a nice little like, okay, maybe I don't
have to find something specific yet, but I can believe in this middle thought right now.
Well said from the mindset coach.
That's good.
I know.
It's like it's my job or something.
You should, you know, make a profession out of this.
Yeah.
(59:24):
All right.
So, Sarah, you wanted to close out with our traditional question?
Yeah.
So what we do, we always ask our guests, somebody that might be their role model and within
that role model, if they would be willing to be our guest for our next episode, what
(59:49):
question would you ask them so we can ask them that question for whenever they are our
guest?
So do you want me to tell you who this person is first or ask, tell you the question?
Yeah.
Who the person is first?
Yeah.
So I'm going to put up a close friend of mine named Ethan Ellis, who's close friend of
(01:00:10):
mine.
I was in a men's group with him.
He runs a men's group.
He's a coach.
He's a father, a single dad.
We're similar in a lot of ways, but the one, one of the gigantic voice that I think he
fills in this world is presence and that he is aspiring.
(01:00:33):
I'm inspired by his ability to be present.
And when I said presence, he's like one of the few people I talked about where I'm like,
it's possible to be there.
So the question I would ask him is what, what it feels like for him in his life to be present
and, and or lack presence and how, how he becomes more present because he has a huge,
(01:00:58):
huge impact on people around him.
And I, I'm like super grateful to experience any time with this person.
He's a really close person to me.
I'm sure it's going to be a very insightful response to that question.
So I'm eager to hear that as well.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Yeah.
(01:01:19):
Yeah.
I hope and Josh, thank you again so much for all the insight, sharing vulnerability,
really, really loved having the opportunity to chat with you today.
And yeah, that's it.
Thank you.
Yeah.
Thank you, Lou.
Thank you, Sarah.
Yeah.
And I'm just, we've been waiting very long to be able to do this, but we got there, man.
(01:01:42):
We finally did it.
Yeah.
It happened.
I had faith.
I knew you'd come through eventually.
Yeah.
I just, I had to get the certification that that was a lot of my time of just studying
and just crying, honestly.
Good.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Force yourself through the university.
I did.
I, I did.
That was the hardest thing I could have done and I'm so happy that I did.
(01:02:06):
So anyways, Josh, it was great.
Great chatting with you again until next time, guys.
Keep breaking barriers and we'll see you in the next episode.
Nice.
I think that's on this exhilarating journey through resilience, determination and the
pursuit of excellence.
As we wrap up this episode of breaking barriers beyond finish line, remember that the finish
(01:02:28):
line is really just the beginning.
Keep pushing your limits, breaking down walls and reaching for the stars.
So whether you're an athlete and entrepreneur or simply someone seeking inspiration, know
that you have the power to go beyond what you thought it was possible.
You enjoy today's episode.
Hit that subscribe button and stay tuned for more captivating stories, expert insights
(01:02:52):
and practical tips.
And don't forget to share this podcast with fellow dream chasers and barrier breakers.
Until next time, this is Grep and Lill signing off, keeping breaking barriers, my friends.
Remember, it is not about the finish line.
It is about what lies beyond it and it starts with you.
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