Ep 4 - How to have a wedding under £10k plus Andrea has some news! 💍

Bride or Die wedding podcast

We're back...... Did you miss us?! 

Well technically Andrea's back after sodding off on holiday! #selfish 

But she share's her happy news - her partner proposed! Hear all about the very romantic proposal that 24 minutes previously Andrea text Jordan moaning that it definitely wasn't going to happen, including a WhatsApp of her knickers... its a long story 🩲😂 

We also discuss ideas and ways to have £10k wedding including some harsh truths about your guest list and the idea we're obsessed with at the moment - a twilight wedding! Now this isn't a vampire inspired wedding, but instead a late wedding that goes straight into the evening reception! 

We talk about what we've seen on TikTok including @morgan.bold who inspired us with her twilight wedding in Liverpool. If you're looking for immaculate vibes then seriously check out her page... we went down a rabbit hole with her content, not gonna lie & we love her! 

We also touch on should bridesmaids pay for their dresses and would you rather pay and have compete say over your dress or let the bride fit the bill and where whatever? 

Let us know in the comments and don't forget to listen out for the secret code word in this weeks episode!

Andrea & Jordan

xxx

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Episode Transcript

UNKNOWN (00:01):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 (00:08):
Welcome to the Bride or Die podcast with Andrea and
Jordan.
We'll be able to help you withamazing hints and tips for your
wedding.
And with 20 plus years ofwedding industry experience
between us.
Trust us, we've seen it all.
I think the idea is lovely, butdon't put it on display.
And we'll give you all thebehind the scenes gossip and
Bride or Miss that.
I got divorced.
I bought a wedding dress shop.
Don't forget to like andsubscribe.

(00:29):
Make sure you don't miss anepisode every Wednesday.
And mixed results.
It's crazy now.
Unfiltered, unhinged and totallyunforgettable.
you Hello, welcome backeveryone.
Hello, welcome to episode numberfour of the podcast.
Aren't we doing well?
I know! And we've had, we'reapproaching 200 downloads.

(00:51):
I know, that's so exciting.
Thank you to everyone that'slistening.
Yes.
Honestly, it makes my littleheart sing.
Same.
It really, really does, which isprobably why I'm such a loser
because I'm like Sally Fieldswhen she got her Oscar.
They like me.
They actually like us.
They really like me.
That's really cute.
Wow.
Well, also, we cannot skim overwhat's been going on.

(01:13):
Obviously, Andrea abandoned meto go on holiday, which I was
absolutely disgusted about.
Yeah.
Sorry, not sorry.
That's why we had a little bitof a gap in our production, but
for a very good reason.
And she's really embarrassed andshy.
She doesn't want to talk aboutit at all.
But Andrea does have some newsto share with us.
So I went away on holiday withmy lovely boyfriend and his

(01:35):
family, and we had a very lovelylovely holiday and it was
definitely needed because i wasfrazzled as fuck um and yeah
just needs it and i feel so muchbetter but whilst away he asked
me to marry him And I think Isaid yes.

(01:57):
I think you said yes.
I think I said the F word partof it.
There's something around, yes.
Oh my God, oh my God.
Sorry, I'm just finding ourconversation.
I'm just finding ourconversation from the day.
Don't worry, I've screenshottedit.
I will make a TikTok about thisbecause it was the...
funniest thing so I had aninkling it was going to happen

(02:21):
because basically god bless thatman he couldn't work out a way
of finding my ring size otherthan asking yeah So just asking
for a friend, babe.
But if a friend asked you whatyour ring size was, what was it?
Like instantly, K, might benumber five in the US, you know.
And that was before Mother'sDay.

(02:43):
So I had like a little bit of aninkling, but it was like a
pendulum swing of it could behappening.
But let's not get our hopes up.
No, you might just be windingyou up.
Can you imagine?
This message is so funny.
So this was the day of, wasn'tit?
This is half past eight.
So we went out for a reallylovely meal.

(03:08):
And it was I sort of picked therestaurant.
So I picked something a bitromantic just in case, just on
the off chance, just to help himout.
And this restaurant wasbeautiful.
And it was it was we went tosort of Malaga and it was up in
the mountains and overlooked thearena and the city and
everything.
It was really, really beautiful,gorgeous panoramic views of the

(03:30):
coast.
It was lovely.
And we got there and we kind of.
dodged a rain shower and sothere was lots of rainbows like
so many rainbows and weliterally we were walking to the
restaurant and there was like asort of platform balcony bit and
we stood there and oh look atthe rainbows oh it's so lovely
and I said oh should we take aphoto and he said yeah okay and

(03:51):
then the other people that werethere members of the public kind
of dispersed and it was just mehim and the rainbows and it was
beautiful and I kind of stoodthere and held my breath and
then went and you know held mybreath and then he went right
come on then should we go we'regoing to miss our reservation I
was like oh okay perfectopportunity okay right that's

(04:13):
fine just enjoy the meal it'sclearly not happening so i text
jordan like three courses lateri'm sorry i'm just gonna nip to
lou yeah i was like right i'mgonna text jordan and then what
did i you said and i quote i'mreading this out definitely not
a sniff of a fucking ring onthis holiday a rainbow for
fuck's sake Just as we went intothe restaurant on a secluded

(04:36):
balcony and he still didn't getdown on one knee.
And I was like, oh my God, Ithought that was going to be it.
And then she sent me a toiletselfie.
Literally, pants around myankles.
And then literally, what, 24minutes later, turns out I could
be wrong with a ring pick.
Honestly, and I was...

(04:58):
Oh, it was so lovely because hewas like, oh, let's go for a
walk.
Yeah.
And there was sort of near, itsounds really rough, near the
multi-storey car park.

UNKNOWN (05:06):
Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 (05:06):
but it was a tale of two cities.
There was, it was like a oldruin and it was illuminated and
there was loads of fairy lightsand, and that was like
overlooking, you know, the city,which now it was nighttime.
So all the lights were twinklingand, and it was, it was really
beautiful.
And he, and he made me sit down.
I was like, Oh my God.

(05:27):
And like, I remember walking aswe were like, Oh, should we go
and have a look at that?
And I remember feeling like itwas like this weird energy, like
this electricity.
And I was like, I think it'sgoing to happen.
Oh my God.
Maybe I'm wrong.
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Like internally, I'm going tohold the mic away now.
I'm going to go, oh my God, it'shappening.
It's happening.
I think it's happening.

(05:47):
Oh my God.
Oh my God.
Right.
Calm down.
Calm down.
But on the outside, I was like,oh, should we go over there?
Oh, yeah, look, there's a treewith all the people carved their
names and love hearts and allthat.
Oh, look, there's a chapel.
Should we go and see the chapel?
And I'm trying so hard to playit cool.
Like, my life fucking dependedon it.
If you want.
But then when he did sit down,he got down on one knee and he

(06:11):
asked me and he used my fullname and all that jazz and
lovely.
And we were so lucky.
There was this really lovelycouple nearby that I think
probably heard me scream.
Yeah.
you know with excitement andthey were like oh let me get a
photo let me get a video and sothat little video of me
completely just giddy withexcitement going oh my god oh my
god i had no idea i'm still onbumble i had no idea we were

(06:31):
this serious yeah i'm still onthe apps babe um yeah no but the
boy did good and the ring wasgorgeous uh ring is gorgeous
ring is gorgeous really gorgeousstunning fun fact uh leave I was
like, I don't want to say it.
I don't know if she's going totell everyone.
Here we go.
So the ring...

(06:52):
it's perfect because because ipicked it and out on his like
desktop his work you knowcomputer um he works from home i
didn't stalk him at work um andi was just like oh i'm just
gonna do some work from homelike right looked up this ring
left it on his desktop and waslike oh just and i put my ring
size and everything but then helike obviously like deleted the

(07:13):
tabs and stuff like that but hewent through his history cute
and found it and that's but itbecause it was like resubmitted
it didn't have the ring size sothat's why i had to ask so So
the ring is gorgeous because Ipicked it.
Yes, absolutely.
The way to get what you want isto ask for it.
Yeah, exactly.
It was really lovely.
And then the really nice thingwas that because we went away on

(07:35):
holiday with this family, wewalked back to the car park.
I think I walked, I don't know,I might have floated like a
fucking balloon.
He had to hold my ankle, youknow.
But I was like, oh my God, let'sget some Prosecco.
And he was like, no, it's okay.
My mum and dad already got some.
And like, we came back andeveryone was like waiting and
everyone was like, you know, andit was lovely.
Can you imagine if I said no,like walking into that?

(07:57):
That would have been awkward.
That would have been awkward.
Anything, he was a bit toococky.
Maybe he needs to be more on histoes.
But no, it was lovely.
And we, my nephews and my littleson, I say little, he's not
always that to my shoulders wekind of wake them up and said oh
Mark asked mummy to marry himand she said yes so do you want
to come upstairs for some fizzypop and they all had like we all

(08:19):
had you know Prosecco and theyhad their little plastic cups
and it was lovely and but blesshim he was I genuinely think
there was a moment on his facewhere I went do you want to come
upstairs for some fizzy pop andI think he loves his sleep and
he was just like absolutely notno it's alright stop making it
all about you mum fuck off I'mgoing to sleep let me rest there
was a moment where but then assoon as I said the words.

(08:40):
I said, do you want to comeupstairs?
No.
You can have some fizzy pop.
Yes.
Okay.
Let's go.
Go on then.
You've twisted me on.
Yeah.
But it was lovely.
But he got a little bitconfused.
He kept saying, what was yourfavourite part of the holiday,
mummy?
Was it when you got married?
Yeah.
But it was quite sweet.
So he FaceTimed his dad, not totell him the news, just because.

(09:05):
Mum's having another crack atit, dad.
You were so shit.

UNKNOWN (09:09):
Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 (09:10):
I mean, it's not hard to be, really.
Let's be honest.
But no, he faced open because itwas like Thursday by this point.
I spoke to him and he wanted totell him all about it.
He'd done darts and ping pongand all this and the other.
And he said, oh, yeah, so youhaving a good time?
Yeah.
Oh, that all sounds brilliant.
Yeah, it's all great.
Yeah, I'm having a great time,Dad.
Oh, and Mum and Mark got buried.

(09:30):
Hang on.
Sorry.
Two seconds.
No, no, no.
He did ask me to.
He did give me this huge rock ofa ring.
That's bigger than you are.
but size doesn't matter nothat's a lot of things you could
say no that's a whole otherpodcast and probably liable so

(09:53):
let's not but yes no but lovelyyeah lovely holiday and a lovely
surprise lovely engagement yeahso now so now she's going to be
absolutely insufferable so Idon't want to like put a damper
on the whole thing but I'm nowthe only unengaged loser on this
fucking wedding podcast sothat's cool no worries I'll
manage it's fine I'm reallyhappy for you but cool I thought

(10:16):
we were in this together we gotthree episodes in and you got
engaged and the whole premise ofit was this sad like just
destroyed the whole that's fineso i'm really excited at least
like we get to follow it'sreally good we get to follow an
actual journey because she'sgoing to be on it like

(10:36):
absolutely bang on it now whatdid i say that yesterday i had
so many emails to do what did ido sat down and decided what
song i was gonna walk down theaisle to and then was in tears
imagining it honestly pacing updown the front room where out
when the bridesmaids would goand then they would go yeah and
then i'd walk in at this bit iwas i was working until like 11

(10:59):
o'clock last night doing theshit that i should have been
doing yeah i and also so so i asyou know owned a bridal shop um
and when it was closing ithought do you know what i'm
just gonna order a veil ofcourse So that it's wholesale
cost.
That makes sense.
That's girl maths business.

(11:20):
Oh my God, yeah.
Like frugal.
Your bitch is frugal.
Very frugal.
So I ordered just a small,simple Abbey length veil with
like a blusher, two tier thinggoing on.
It's very lovely.
It's very nice.
And it's very simple.
So it'll go with anything.
But I ordered, because thatwould have been like, if you get

(11:43):
yeah it would have been like£600for like an abbey length veil
and as much as it is beautifuland the quality is amazing and
it's made in the UK and it'sbeautiful and when you see it
you'll see why it's like reallybeautiful but there's nothing I
don't know.
Maybe it's because I grew up ona council estate, but there was
no way on God's green earth Icould justify in my brain£600

(12:05):
for a bit of material,essentially.
It's beautiful.
It's lovely.
You want it for a bargain price.
And it is lovely because it'smade of this Italian tool that
floats.
It is the Rolls-Royce.
of veils because when you liftit up in the air it floats and
it flutters down so slowly andit is beautiful and it is worth

(12:28):
every penny I just couldn'tafford it there's nothing wrong
with the price it's just notworth every penny but just out
of your normal budget yeahexactly so the plan is is I mean
because of the way that ourrelationship works and he's got
teenagers and I've got a son andyou know we've both got you know
kids in school and stuff likethat we don't actually live
together yeah no I mean we'vegot the important stuff sorted

(12:51):
yeah I think it was mainly toshut me up maybe maybe but it's
worked it's worked a win is awin a win is a win no it's
lovely but we do need to sortout like we've already had the
conversation like we cannot plananything wedding related or get
anything booked in or doanything like that until we like

(13:13):
live together because that isjust madness can you imagine
getting married and then beinglike people do though yeah I was
having a conversation with oneof the mums at the school gate
and she has a friend who theybasically they're married but
they live two doors down fromeach other some people do that
and you know what it worksreally well but doesn't it I
think like I get it when you'reyoung and in love and you want
to live it's exciting isn't itespecially if you only live with

(13:35):
like your parents and you'relike you want to live together
but I think as you get olderlike I love doing I love living
with my partner we've got a babytogether so that adds a
different dynamic to that butlike I get I get how it would be
if you've got your own life andyour own home and your own
space.
Intoxicating.

(13:56):
Especially if you've lived likethat for a long time.
Yeah.
Men aren't fun to live with.
They're just not.
And I imagine men feel the sameabout women.
We are just very different.
So I get the appeal.
Like the sharing the bed thingas well.
At the minute, I can starfishout as much as I like.
And then we both find it reallydifficult.
Although we did all right onholiday, but his bed I find

(14:19):
really uncomfortable.
My one, he doesn't really getthat much sleep.
We're kind of used to our ownspace.
I think the Scandinavians havegot it right, where you have
like...
like a double bed, but twoseparate single duvets.
Yes.
So no one's pulling the duvet.
Yeah.
Genius.
It's a genius.
And I, I'm sorry, but I thinkthere is a lot to be said for
having separate bedrooms.
Oh, I do.
Oh my God.

(14:40):
Can you imagine?
Oh, just like get a good night'ssleep.
The thing is like, if you spendthe evening together, and this
is what I say, cause we, my,I've got a 15 month old baby and
he, I bed share, I've all bedshared with my other two.
He goes into his room and sleepsuntil midnight.
we go to sleep.
But before I go to sleep, I goand get him and bring him to our
bed.
Yeah.
But as long as we have ourevening, and it's the same, we

(15:01):
have our evening together, meand my partner.
I don't care.
We're just sleeping next to eachother.
Do you know what I mean?
We're not doing anything.
We don't even really cuddlebecause we're hot and just
uncomfortable.
Hug and roll.
We might fall asleep maybehaving a snuggle occasionally,
but then it's like, well, it'stime to sleep-sleep.
I'm rolling away.
I'm getting comfy.
I've got the pillow.
Do you know what I mean?

(15:21):
We have a little cuddle.
And then we start to fallasleep.
And then we go, night, babe.
Hug and roll.
Because we've got the baby inbetween us from, say, 11 o'clock
midnight.
Like, we're not, like, obviouslynot doing it, but we're sleeping
anyway, so I don't see theproblem.
Separate rooms.
I understand, like, yeah, ifyou're in separate rooms, and I
know lots of people that,especially when they've got

(15:42):
young children.
My friend that just had aking-size bed with her baby and
her partner was in the spareroom, the double room, and they
all slept beautifully.
Oh, yeah.
Do you know what I mean?
Because it's horrible whenyou're tired and everything.
Yeah, to get the most sleep thatyou can.
Anyway.
But, yeah.
So, yeah, house first.
House first.
So, we are...
Currently saving for a depositfor a house.

(16:03):
So we, yeah, how I'm going toafford this dream wedding, I
have no clue.
Well, that brings us nicely tothe episode, doesn't it?
So the topic today is sort ofhow to have a wedding around the
10k mark.
Because that is a chunk ofchange.
It's a chunk of change.

(16:23):
I mean, when I got married in2015, I had quite a big wedding
with my ex-husband.
We had quite a big wedding, butwe budgeted a lot hard and we
did a lot of DIY food andeverything.
We spent around$14,000 and thatwas about the medium at the
time.
So nearly, well, 10 years agonow.
Well, they say the averagewedding costs about$26,000 now.

(16:47):
and like when you've gotpriorities of children and you
know buying things yeah and likebills you know kind of like
having the electric on at myplace absolutely yeah love a
candle lit vibe but not whatwe're going for 24 7 um so you
know there's there's differentpriorities and you know there's
things like the cost of livingcrisis which just does not seem

(17:09):
to be going away anytime soonand you know the cost of
everything is going up but thewages and everything is staying
exactly the same it is tough outthere yeah but you want a
beautiful wedding but there'syeah it's just it's just it can
feel massively overwhelming whenyou start getting quotes back

(17:30):
and you're like and also thething is like pinterest was
great for inspiration and iscrack to brides obviously a lot
of these photos and everythingthey don't have the no they do
not price on so you're like ohyou know we'll have like flowers
in a chandelier and stuff likethat and then you're like oh
well that's£15,000 worth offlowers you know and you're like

(17:50):
oh and then everything just kindof feels a bit flat so we have
come up with some ways to tosort of help you or just some
ideas or even if it's just likeyou're sat there listening to it
and you're thinking oh I'm noton my own because we think like,
you know, 10k is more thanenough.

(18:10):
We're going to struggle to saveup for it.
as it is you know 10k is a chunkof change so let's normalize
normalize a 10k wedding 10kwedding like you know so some of
the ideas with the um i've hadyou might have they might seem
really obvious but uh or youmight not have heard of them so
what i will do i will start withthat one now jordan had not

(18:31):
heard i had not i don't know howexpression or this concept um
but so let us know in thecomments if you have heard of
this but a twilight wedding nowi am so i got andrew will
explain this to you as she didto me like a toddler um but i
had not heard of it and as soonas she explained it to me i was

(18:51):
like yes like that is what iwill be doing i mean i have to
ask my boyfriend first getengaged but that is the sort of
thing that i would like to doand if it saves money which it
will absolutely ideal because tome it cuts out the bits of the
wedding that i don't want to doanyway so a twilight wedding is
basically you get married uh 4or 5pm in the afternoon the very

(19:15):
latest and then you can sort ofwhether you get married in
church or whether you getmarried at the venue and then
you sort of have your speechesand your canapes and your
speeches and then basically youjust go straight into the
evening reception part of it soyou cut out a three course meal
you cut out having to you knowmaybe have canapes if you don't

(19:36):
want them or not and you cut outyou know right okay so there's
going to be that lull in betweenso we need to get and
entertainment so we need amagician and we need a
caricaturist and we need thisthat and the other like you cut
it all straight out but theyalso the other great thing about
a twilight wedding is and I hadnot realised this until Jordan
had said this but is thatthere's no rush in the morning

(19:58):
there's no getting up at youknow half five yeah half five
six o'clock in the morningbecause you've got four
bridesmaids that you need to fitin and you're getting married at
like you know twelve or you knowwhenever so you can have the
most like beautiful morning withyour girls getting ready no
one's got to get up at the crackof dawn you can all sleep in

(20:18):
your own houses I saw right I'mgoing to pause it just while I
find this TikTok lady.
Yes.
So her name is Morgan.Bold andif you are looking for a
twilight wedding, highlyrecommend you go and search this
girl up on TikTok.
Her wedding was...
stunning like stunning like i'mtalking immaculate vibes um it

(20:41):
was just beautiful and she gotready at her house in the
morning and i thought that wasso lovely and like it's almost
like we're conditioned now wesee so much on tiktok and social
media and you know all of thatthat you need to be at the hotel
the night before and get readywith the matching pajamas and
all this that and the other andit actually like took me back a
little bit to like you know likepre-covid times and and whatnot

(21:04):
but like getting ready at homelike we were were having this
conversation before where likeyou you went to the hairdressers
and you went to you know Imissed out on that on like the
morning at home and then yousort of you know nipped in and
out I loved it I thought it wasjust I saw that TikTok and I was
just like that has 100%convinced me I want to get ready
at home I agree and I'd like Iobviously I'm a part part of the

(21:27):
problem part of the problem butlike but as a makeup artist
obviously I've been to lots ofpeople's houses and I've been to
lots of hotel rooms now the onlysort of exception is when you
book a venue that comes with abridal prep room yeah now bridal
prep rooms are big big openspaces they've got the mirrors
they've got the tables they arecreated for these spaces but

(21:48):
other than that there really isno benefit to having a hotel
room over being at home yeah Andshe did it so nicely.
And one of the bright spots...
And your home, you can makeyour...
It's your home.
You can make it beautiful.
You've got space.
People have got different roomsto go to.
You can escape if you need to.
You're in your own zone,environment.
You know where all the exitsare.

(22:09):
But it was lovely.
She said, you know, she was justlike, we've you know it was a
little bit of a squeeze but itwas it was fine hotel rooms are
a squeeze though yeah and thenshe had like these beautiful
like you know uh platter of youknow breakfast stuff with like
the waffles and the croissantsand all this and the other a
friend that arrived um you knowslept at her house it was just
down the road she she came andshe arrived with um all the

(22:31):
starbucks order for all thegirls and i thought oh that
sounds lovely because i've got afriend that would probably
struggle being away from herchildren and it has to be with
her children which you know it'sabsolutely fine so that That's
fine, babe.
You stay with the kids the nightbefore.
And then come round.
And then just come round withStarbucks in the morning.
That can be your job.
And we will be so excited to seeyou.
But it was lovely.
And this girl, Morgan, so shehad a twilight wedding.

(22:55):
And yeah, like I say, she gotready at home with her girls.
She didn't have to rush in themorning.
She could, you know, it wasjust, it was so much fun.
And then she got a party bus.
from her house to the venue andlike oh my god like you know
when you see people on theinternet and you're like I could
100% be friends with youinstantly because they were on

(23:18):
the bus they were on the partybus drinking like the tequila
rose and stuff and I was likeyeah and also you can have a
proper drink can't you if it's abit later it's always a bit
don't get me wrong people have adrink in the morning everyone
you'll feel a bit iffy you'relike oh I don't know how much to
drink I don't want to be I don'twant to have two glasses of
Prosecco because then I've gotto sit down and have a meal and
do that.
If you're cutting out thatmiddle part and you know you're

(23:39):
going to party in like twohours, crack on.
I highly recommend you go andlook at her TikToks because it
was just like me and Jordan weresending them back and forth and
going, yeah, this is the vibethat we want.
And it was beautiful.
It was absolutely lovely.
And she does do a costing ofwhat she went through.
And also, let's normalise savingup for your wedding.

(24:00):
Yeah, for sure.
Not everyone's got got a massivecredit card with loads of you
know space on it not everyonehas got which parents mine
especially not um and so she shewent through and she went no we
we saved each month we put xamount into a pot and then that
was what we knew what we had forthe wedding and we wanted to do

(24:21):
it properly and we were like youknow 15k is a is a hell of a
chunk of change and that is youknow a good amount and but it's
not a massive amount that islike ridiculous you're going
into ridiculous amounts of debtand she was like we we waited
two years because we didn't wantto compromise and we wanted it
to look exactly how we wanted itand and they had an absolutely

(24:43):
lovely time honestly i cannotgod i sound like i'm stalking
her don't i she's it's all rightshe's in liverpool and we're in
hampshire so we're like milesaway yeah she's safe but no she
just had it like it was one ofthose things that you watch it
you're oh you know what you canjust do what you want to do for
your wedding and you don't haveto follow any rules yeah or feel

(25:04):
or feel that you're less thanyeah if you don't you know so
yeah so twilight wedding would100% be the way that we would we
would go yeah and then alsoanother way that you can save
yourself some money and it comesto the guest list yeah be brutal

(25:25):
people now one of the goodthings and there wasn't that
many good things that came outof covid but one of the good
things is that it changedpeople's perception or ideas of
a wedding on its head it turnedthe wedding industry on its head
and whereas before it felt likeyou had like had to have 120
people if you can get marriedwith like less than 30 people

(25:48):
and take the stress away thenyou know people like so intimate
weddings are now the thingpeople like maybe 50, 60 people
is enough people to bring thevibes.
That's all you need.
You know, you don't need them.
If it's the right people aswell.
That's the thing.
It's like you can have 100 and120 people quite easily.
I've got a big family.
It's easily done.
Yeah.
But like how many of thosepeople are going to be like that

(26:11):
much fun?
It's funny.
Just invite the really funpeople that you love and you
know they want to make yourwedding amazing.
So they're not going to be atthe side having a coffee at in
8pm.
They're going to be on the dancefloor making sure everyone's
having a good time.
50, 60 quality people, qualityhumans that you actually really
want to spend that day with.

(26:32):
Ideal.
So my top tips are have you seenthem in the last year or spoken
to them?
If it is a no, they're out.
Did they send you acongratulations when you got
engaged or mention it or talk toyou if they said no?
No.
Would you take them out todinner happily and like pay for

(26:53):
them?
Because essentially that is whatyou're doing.
Yeah.
If you have a sit down meal.
And if you're like, they're out.
And if they're a work colleague,have you seen them outside of
work?
If you haven't seen them outsideof work, and that doesn't count
like lunch times when you go andgrab a McDonald's or whatever.
Do you make an effort to dothings outside of workplace?
Yeah.
No.
And when it comes to family, nowI've got, My mum is one of six,

(27:18):
so I've got, I think there'slike 40 of us.
You know, by the time you putcousins and everything into your
mix.
So on the one hand...
I can appreciate that it is niceto have these opportunities to
catch up.
To get everyone together.
Because now both grandparentsare no longer with us.
You know, we always used to bumpinto each other at Nan or
Grandad's house because, youknow, it was a bit like

(27:39):
Piccadilly Circus.
You know, people would be in andout and whatever and you'd catch
up that way.
So it is really nice to haveeveryone all together in the one
room because it doesn't happenthat often.
However, your family, yourwedding, sorry, your wedding
isn't a family reunion.
So...
you know you are under noobligation to invite that cousin
that you don't speak to and Ithink that's the key that word

(28:00):
that you just said thereobligation if there's a cousin
that you don't spend enough timewith but that you really do
enjoy their company then ofcourse but don't feel obligated
to invite people just becausethey are your cousin on your
mum's side and you haven't doyou know what I mean if you want
them there different story butif you're not you're umming and
ahhing maybe just don't and ifyou are trying to be conscious

(28:21):
with your budget I mean no one'sgoing to be mad no one's people
will be mad people That's a lie,Andrea.
People will have opinions.
But they'll get over it.
But at the end of the day, ifyou're turning around and
saying, look, we are having,we're being conscious with our
budget because we're saving upfor a deposit for a house.
No one's going to be like, well,that's just selfish.

(28:42):
Do you know what I mean?
So, yeah, be brutal.
But also, as well as sort ofyour guest list is a good way to
cut the numbers, cut your costsdown massively.
Also, bridal party.
Now, it's really tempting.
Yeah.
this weekend like when tellingpeople the news and I was so
tempted to be like and I reallywant you to be my bridesmaid but

(29:04):
if you keep your if you thenoffer the role of bridesmaid to
you know your 20 cousins orwhatever you know and then you
end up having an intimatewedding you then have to have an
awkward conversation of peoplegoing oh I thought I was oh am I
not a bridesmaid do you knowwhat I mean awkward so keep your
bridal party I would say to theminimum because The more

(29:25):
bridesmaids you have, the moreyou've got more dresses, more
makeup, more flowers.
More hair, more flowers, morejewellery.
More gifts, you know, like that.
And yes, you don't have to dothe gifts.
You don't have to do all ofthose things.
Sorry, Jordan, but yes, you canget them to do their own makeup
if they want to.
No, but you can.
Like, realistically, you can.
It's not going to look as goodas if I did it.

(29:46):
Obviously.
Award winning ladies and gents.
No, but realistically, that is agood way to save on cost.
Or ask them if they want to bookin with the makeup artist
themselves.
If they're bothered, then theycan absolutely do that.
But yeah, bridal part, you addand add and add.
But if you've got like, I mean,I've done some big weddings this
weekend, like nine people, eightpeople.
The cost is there.

(30:07):
Like, it racks up.
And it's...
And also, it's worth mentioningthat if you have ten
bridesmaids, you're more thanlikely...
One or two of them are going tobe dicks.
Yeah.
And there's going to be drama.
When there's big bridal parties,there is always drama.
Yeah.
And there's always changes.
So I would...
Obviously, you have to...
Don't do...
Choose your bridesmaids two orthree years in advance.

(30:28):
Yeah.
Because more often than not, oneof them gets dropped, there's
drama at the hen do, there'ssomething.
Yeah.
Just have your...
you know who your besties areyou can always add if you want
to down the line but don't goall guns blazing like I want you
you you you my work my workbestie like Oprah you get a car
you're a bridesmaid you're abridesmaid just be cautious

(30:50):
because like you said it'scostly it does cost a lot of
money and like as much as youdon't want people to feel left
out or whatever but you knowpeople will understand and one
of the best expressions I everheard when it comes to wedding
planning is make sure I get thisright so the best expression I
ever heard for wedding planningis the people that care don't

(31:14):
matter and the people thatmatter don't care Did I say that
the right way around?
The people that care.
No, you did say that the rightway around.
So the people that care aboutthe little things don't matter
and the people that matter don'tcare.
Anyone that loves you wants youto have the day that you want
and they're not going to befinickety about little details

(31:36):
or being involved in this andbeing involved in that.
Because on our TikTok we askwhat's the most unhinged thing?
Oh my god, that was a greatTikTok.
Yeah, so people are unhinged andwe That expression of you find
out who your friends are whenyou plan a wedding.
So this is some of the commentsthat we found.
Why are you getting married on aMonday?

(31:57):
What if I want to book a day offwork?
It's an event holiday Monday.
My personal favourite was, whatdo you expect people to wear if
they can't wear white?
That was from the mother-in-law.
I can't believe how selfishyou're being about your wedding.
Yeah.
And that was from my mother.
I didn't invite my brother'sstepkids.

(32:17):
His bio kids weren't invitedeither as it was a child-free
wedding.
Yeah.
Oh, this was it.
We're having an intimate weddingand the best man has a new
girlfriend who's a stranger tous.
She told him he is not allowedto be best man if she is not
invited to the ceremony.
Weird.
Red flag.
Oh, this one.

(32:38):
Yeah.
It's not going to be a very goodwedding on that little of budget
from mother of the bride.
How about chuck a few thousandin then, mum?
She's awful, isn't it?
I think it, but don't say it.
Oh my God, people are...
I have a list of people you needto invite.
Okay, coaching.
Give us the cash then.

(32:59):
See, this one was a tricky onebecause I could see it from both
points.
If I don't get an all-dayinvite, I'm not coming on the
hen or stag.
that's tricky because becausehen and stag do cost money yeah
So I feel like if I'm not, andit's fine if I'm not, if I'm not
invited, if I'm not enough of afriend to make it to the whole

(33:22):
day, am I enough of a friend tohave to pay to celebrate your
stag?
Do you just want numbers?
Do you know what I mean?
And you feel like you're theperipheral fringe friend.
I feel like it's a weird dynamicto be invited on a hen do but
not as a main day guest.
I don't know.
I suppose it depends what it is.
If it's just like a night outand a load of you are meeting up

(33:43):
and going to do like some like acocktail making thing and this
and that the other fine but Idefinitely wouldn't be paying to
go away for a hen do withsomeone if I wasn't invited to
the day but just because itdoesn't to me that doesn't make
sense like I'm either in thatclose-knit circle where you want
me on the hen do and I go to theday or I'm not and that's fine

(34:03):
yeah yeah it's a bit of an oddone I don't know I can see it
from the the other side I don'tknow, because I would...
There's some friends that wouldsuit going to the home night.
I suppose, yeah.
You know, if they're workcolleagues, but you wouldn't
necessarily see them outside.
But, you know, there's nothingwrong...
I suppose the crossover's a bitdifferent, isn't it?
Yeah, it's a tricky one.
Yeah.
Oh, this is one.

(34:24):
It's all about the children, notthe adults.
Now, speaking as a mum...
I would love a child-freewedding.
Like, not for myself, but justlove a child-free wedding.
I do not understand the peoplethat are like, I can't believe
you're being so rude by notinviting me.
Have a night off, love.
I know, but it's the same mumsthat just cannot enjoy

(34:46):
themselves without their kids.
And I don't want to be mean.
Some of you are just like mothernature mothers.
You know what I mean?
Great.
Love your kids.
Can't be away from them.
That's fine.
Don't be away from them.
But there's these people thatreally have that theme of kids
make weddings I'm like sorrykids ruin weddings yeah like I'd
have my kids at my weddingbecause they're a bit older and
or maybe have them at theceremony and then get them

(35:07):
someone pick them up in theevening but also as a parent
your kid is not enjoying awedding no maybe to a degree
while they're all hopped up onsugar skidding around the dance
floor but it gets to a certainpoint where you see these kids
I've seen it before and it makesme feel Not uncomfortable
because I was like a pub kid.
I was asleep on chairs in a bar.
Didn't do us any harm.

(35:27):
But that kid is not there fortheir enjoyment.
Their parents are pissed.
Dad's got a tie around his headon the dance floor.
Like Rambo.
Dancing to the full monty.
Mum's had a few too many ginspropping up a bar chatting shit
with someone.
And there's a kid on four pushedtogether chairs just desperate
to go home.
And it's like, why is it notbetter for everyone that you
organise a sitter if you've gottwo years in advance?

(35:50):
That to me, it just doesn't makesense.
I don't know why you want thatkid there when you one don't
want to look after it and twothey're not happy either it's
not a place for children awedding reception to me
personally child free weddingswe could do a whole episode it's
a red flag for me as a person ifyou don't like the fact that

(36:12):
your child's not invited to thewedding I'm like you're weird
sorry controversial where do Istand on child free weddings I
get them and I understand whyyou want a child-free wedding.
The thing that I don't get isthe parents that get really
arsey when their child isn'tinvited.
That's the thing.
I can't get my head around.

(36:32):
I think, no, have a night out.
But I think going deeper intothat, it is very much like some
people's whole personality andwhole identity is connected to
the fact that they are a parent.
Yeah.
And...
Ultimately, I find that verysad.
But anyway.
Anyway, that's children, motherof the year.
Mother of three.

(36:55):
Right, let's get back on topic.
Yes, let's get back on topic.
How to have a wedding under 10k.
Yeah, fuck the kids off.
Don't invite the kids.
Goodbye, children.
That'll save you a few grand.
So, dresses.
Wedding dress.
so if your budget is about 500quid uh go to i would say go to
an independent shop they havegot samples that they want to
get rid of they have got salerails um and just sort of keep

(37:19):
your eye out for any bridalshops once a year maybe twice a
year bridal shops will have abig clear out of their samples
because they need to get stockin because the designers um say
right you will have minimumorders with designers of like
the stock not minimum orders forhow many brides buy a dress from
you, but minimum numbers.

(37:39):
for how many sample dresses youorder from their new collections
and things like that.
Some of them don't.
Some of them do.
It's kind of on its way out.
So you will see that a lot ofbridal shops will have sample
sales because they need toget...
Two reasons.
One, they need room for the newdresses that are coming.
And two, they need to pay forthe new dresses that are coming.
So they're desperate to get ridof the old stock so that they

(38:02):
can pay for their order that'scoming in.
Or maybe that was just me.
So yeah, if your budget is about£500, honestly, go to an
independent bridal shop you willbe genuinely surprised and
relieved that for£500 you canstill get a really beautiful
dress and a stylish dress and anice dress if your budget is
lower than£500 Say, if you're inthe£200 region and below, again,

(38:25):
nothing wrong with that.
No.
Have a look on...
There's pre-loved websitescalled Still White.
They've got just basically likebrides that are selling their
dresses on, which is lovely.
So many brides love that.
I love...
a pre-love dress because youknow you've got like the history
of it and the and just i thinkit's lovely and i do think

(38:47):
anything that stops fast fashionyes it's only going to be a good
thing yeah it's only going to bea good thing and it is a lovely
thing when you like i said at mybridal shop we did pre-loved and
there were dresses that justdidn't look right on people but
then there were dresses that ihad one dress lovely oh my god
this lovely girl it was like agold sassy holford which is like

(39:09):
sassy holford is a designer thathas done wedding dresses for the
royal family yeah um which ithink she did like princess
anne's son got married to autumnphillips um and that's she did
her dress like so she is like atop london designer and i had a
secondhand one and this bridecame in and it where it was a

(39:30):
gold dress a lot of people wentoh i don't like the color so it
was literally i can count on onehand the amount of times people
actually i tell you two peopletried it on in the whole two
years it was there it was in thecorner a bit unloved this bride
came in and tried it on and itwas one of those appointments
where she was like look i'm justgonna hold my hands up this is
not i'm just i need to just thisis sort of a fact-finding

(39:52):
mission i was like no that'sfine i appreciate your honesty
there were tears oh really fromeveryone this dress no word of a
lie just fit did not need onesmidgen of alterations stunning
fit perfectly the gold colourlooked incredible on her just it
ticked so many boxes and becauseI was closing down she was like

(40:16):
yeah no take my money I'm buyingit today I am not risking losing
this dress so sometimes likepre-loved honestly you will be
surprised that you can get someabsolute gems so I would do that
Okay, so next thing, flowers.
Yeah.
I see so many.
Now, for me personally, fauxflowers, artificial flowers,
they have to be really good.

(40:36):
I've seen some really good ones.
I've seen some really good ones.
Yeah.
at a wedding this weekendactually she brought in the
flowers the florist so it was aflorist still did them but with
fake flowers which I didn't knowhappened all that often but she
brought them in and I thoughtthey were real and I even said
to the bride I was like oh makesure you take them out of the
water like now so they don'tdrip down and she's like oh no

(40:58):
no no they're fake I was like ohmy god okay they were amazing
but obviously you pay for theprofessional to still style them
and do that which does make adifference I would say this with
fake flowers I know it's reallytempting and you see them on
Sheen and you see them on like,I'm going to get like, it can be
a bit of a false economy.
I've seen someone on a Facebookgroup locally that was like, I

(41:19):
have bought all these fakeflowers and however I arrange
them, they still look shit.
Is there like a fake flowerflorist here that can like help
me out even if it like assemblethem or do something with them
and equally I just think as wellit can sometimes be a false
economy you think oh I've got ahundred roses that'll do a whole
arch and it won't and it justlooks sparse and rubbish and so

(41:45):
it could be a false economybecause you think right instead
of like the hundred you knowroses that I've budgeted for I
actually need to get near a 500to get the effect and then it's
just a false economy and you mayas well just pay a florist to
you know like either have freshones or an artificial florist as
well um so yeah just be just bemindful of that of like make

(42:05):
sure too good to be true yeah umbut i would say if you're
thinking of the faux flowershave a look for you know decor
and things like that facebookmarketplace is going to be your
best friend and like the vintedthere's wedding groups that are
for people selling things onvinted that have done you know
this the same and like done allthe hard work for you and you

(42:26):
done it all and now they wantrid of it and now they want rid
of it because it's going to betaking up so much space in your
house yeah if you're of themindset I think you've got to be
have a little bit of a like alooser theme yeah so if you're
not really like I want thisshade of pink this particular
this absolute perfect shade ofthis if you're sort of like well
I like some different greens andsome different blues or you're a

(42:46):
little bit more free flowingwith that or a bit more classic
or a bit more classic maybewhites and greens yeah if you're
on that side of the spectrumthen you can't a few months six
months before start trawlingthrough these websites start
picking up things do you knowwhat I mean and people do sell
them in bulk ready-made weddingkits effectively with
centerpieces, with flowers, withall the little bits that they've

(43:08):
just bought that do cost a lotof money.
When you got the candles forthat photo shoot.
Oh, for the photo shoot, yeah.
And it's like, oh, we need somecandles for the photo shoot.
That'll be all right.
The amount of candles that weneeded, the expense of that
alone.
We had a hundred candles and wewere like doing a photo shoot in
this little chapel.
If I make a little TikTok, I'llpop up the, I'll put it on the
back screen now.

(43:29):
It was stunning.
It was beautiful.
So we had a hundred candles andI was like, that'll be more than
enough.
But actually in the venue, I waslike, we probably should have
had about 300 to get the visionof what we wanted.
Also, the other thing, you getthe candles.
You need the batteries.
You need the flipping batteries.
And then you've got to put allthe batteries in and then you've
got to check all your work.

(43:50):
Yeah, it was, you know.
Things like that.
If someone else has done thetask for you and you can go on
Facebook Marketplace and spend£200 on this big bundle of stuff
and you're a bit morefree-flowing with your theme and
you can fit it in, brilliant.
That's going to save you a shittonne of money yeah yeah and um
yeah honestly I've still gotthose candles yeah admittedly
because I haven't put anyoneneeds a hundred candles for

(44:12):
their wedding Andrew has got itcovered I've got some on my
they're now on my log burneryeah and they look really lovely
and I put them on the timer umto you know so they if I fall
asleep on the sofa which doeshappen quite often yeah um that
you know they they will go offbut I didn't realize that they
actually come back on and so thefirst time I did that I sort of
was looking at my son going Whathave you touched?

(44:34):
Why are they coming back likethat?
And he stood there, bless him,going, I didn't do it, mummy, I
didn't do it.
And I was like, don't you lie tome.
And then he was at his dad's thenext day.
It happened again.
And then they all popped up andI was like, oh, bless him.
Mother of the year.
So yeah, so decor wise, justhave a look on Facebook and
Marketplace.
I know it's hardly likegroundbreaking stuff, but there

(44:55):
might be, you'll be surprised.
I didn't know that there wasFacebook groups for people
selling things on Vinted.
I know there's a Facebook groupfor everything now.
But yeah, so so also the otherthing that we thought
photography yeah don't skimp noon photography don't don't skimp
on the photographer yeah you cansay i think we've briefed we've
touched on this before but ifyou like budget for as much as

(45:19):
you can for a photographer butif you are on a tighter budget
get the good photographer forthe key moments and maybe a I've
worked with some really goodcontent creators we have,
haven't we, on photo shoots andstuff.
If, say, you have a contentcreator in the morning and then
have a photographer come to doall your portraits and your
family shots and then maybe theceremony and those things,

(45:41):
things that you're likely to getprinted out, put on the wall,
then get the photographer forthose elements only and maybe
have someone else to come and dothe other bits.
Yeah, it is...
so just worth having thephotographer like you say for a
nice photo at your ceremony likethree or four hours of a really
good photographer yeah it'sgoing to be better than having a

(46:01):
full day package for someonethat is inexperienced yeah like
it just just not or not eventhat they're inexperienced but
not your vibe yeah don't settlelike if you're looking at
pictures i would sayinexperienced i saw this tiktok
where this oh i see yeah ithappens all the time but what i
don't want to do i don't want toslag off the budget
photographers but no no but butI think any photographer worth

(46:22):
their soul.
Yeah.
I mean, obviously there's somephotographers that do, you know,
the packages start at like, youknow,£3,000 and that's for a
full day and they won't doanything less and that's fine
because they've got theexperience to back it up.
And the post-production stuff isincredible, like the actual
talent and art of photography.
So long, yeah.
It's not even the day itself isthe least amount of work,
really.
But if someone is going, oh,I'll do a whole day of

(46:43):
photography.
Like£350.
£200.
That is a red flag.
And if£200 is your budget,again, nothing wrong with that,
but then just get a photographerthat would do just...
An hour.
Yeah, an hour.
Literally an hour.
or something so you getbeautiful photographs because
this lady I saw on TikTok hermum was bless her they were on a

(47:04):
budget and she thought she got areally good deal and honestly
I'll see if I can find theTikTok and show it to you it had
they had put filters oneverything including you know
when you're at the arcade andthere's like the photo booth and
it will do the sketch and itjust looked horrendous and they

(47:27):
had them doing like really weirdposes like all sticking their
tongues out and all and it wasjust like it's that thing you do
get what you pay for so if youare on a budget just do it
wisely but you've raised areally really good point that if
you Have a photographer just forthe important moments.
and then get a content creatorfor the rest for the rest of it

(47:49):
that way you get some videos ifit's just your bits and bobs
like you're getting ready andyou just it's just stuff that
you're maybe going to post onsocial media or stuff that
you're just going to watchyourself yeah and you're not
bothered about it being likethis cinematic edited quality
yeah like it's just for thememories yeah that's fine that's
fine don't get me wrong I'm notsaying a content creator does
not replace a photographer inskill and talent no 100% but

(48:11):
they are a really goodalternative I do also rate
having a content creator as wellas a photographer but that's a
different that's for a differenttime but yeah they're not
comparable they do complementeach other nicely like when we
did our photo shoot um Theediting that went into the
photographs afterwards took along, long time.

(48:32):
And this is no shade to Natasha.
Because it is literallydifficult.
Our photographer was incredible.
And the photos we got back.
What she produced was insane.
Like, honestly, they look likethey've just come out of vogue.
But if you're like us and you'vegot no patience, having a
content creator is really nicebecause you get that immediate
gratification.
Like the next day we had the lotwe've got ADHD we want instant

(48:53):
dopamine absolutely and no butit's really nice to have that so
it actually does work out quitenicely because they just send
you basically their raws I thinkmost content creators do make a
couple of reels and do somestuff but immediately you get
all the raw images that they'vetaken so you can have a look
through all of it and it'sreally nice to do yeah Yeah.

(49:14):
And then the other thing, I needto stop saying and the other
thing.
And another one.
And another thing.
And another thing.
No, this is not our area ofexpertise because we genuinely
don't give a shit.
Suits.
No.
For the men.
Yeah.
Just go to River Island or ASOS.
Order something.

UNKNOWN (49:33):
Just...

SPEAKER_00 (49:34):
No, but right.
So when I got married, we werelike, we looked at hiring.
Automatically, we assumed hiringwould be cheaper than buying.
Yeah.
Not the case.
And also we, I think I got myushers to buy their own suits
because I was young and poor.
But it was fine because theywent to River Island, got
waistcoat, jacket, trousers, Ithink for£99 in grey.

(49:55):
Yeah.
And I think they all still wearthat wedding suit to this day.
Yeah.
The ones that fit into it still.
But the thing is, if you are...
your groomsman can if it's notlike a tartan tweed yeah or
linen wool linen like somethingcrazy if it's something that
they can repurpose and wear allthe time probably going to be a
bit blacks greys navy standardsuit sort of thing yeah and you

(50:18):
can get probably 99 pound theywere but probably around the 120
mark I've seen them on ASOS youcan get a suit for that price
and actually hiring I don'tthink hiring is an awful lot
cheaper than that no I thinkthey start around sort of 80
don't they Do you know what?
I can honestly say it's the onepart of wedding planning that
I've not gone down the rabbithole on.

(50:39):
Couldn't give a...
So 10 years ago, it didn't workout that cheap.
So I thought, well, for an extra30, 40 quid, they might as well
have a suit that they can keep.
I know, speaking fromexperience, when my ex-husband's
best mate was getting married...
My ex-husband, to be fair tohim, is a very stylish man.
Bit of a dick, but very stylish.

(51:00):
But his mate was not.
And he was quite happy.
Honestly, what he got, he lookedlike shit.
All he knew was that he likedManchester United.
So he got a red, foily,metallic-y shirt.
waistcoat a red bow tie oh god Ican see it white shirt a black

(51:22):
suit it's giving crumb in the90s it's giving croupier at a
casino at a shit casino and it'sshit casino and my ex-husband
was just like I'm sorry mate butI don't think I can't wear that
but Which, you know, lookingback, you think, well, you can't
have been that much of a matethen.
You would wear a bin bag.

(51:43):
But anyway, but that's anotherstory for another day.
Anyway, suits.
Go to Top Man.
The Top Man's not even a thing.
Go to England.
Go to ASOS.
Go to C&A.
Oh, I don't even know what thatis.
Oh, don't you?
Oh, I'm so old.
Oh, C&A was this shop that meand my mum used to have battles
in.
What can I compare it to?
Debenhams?

(52:04):
no it wasn't even as cool asDebenhams okay so it went
Topshop yeah Debenhams yeah andthen C&A was like the place the
sensible place that your mumwould take you to for what
though for clothes it wasclothes yeah and it would have
um like there was like thedownstairs bit that was like
okay no that was horrible andthen god I feel like in a cold

(52:25):
sweat already honestly theamount of battles we had in
there And then there was onesmall bit that was like
teenagers that I wanted.
But my mum's like, no, we'regoing to get you.
Anyway, CNA.
Back me up.
Right.
Code word for today.
Drop in the messages if youstay, if you watch to this end.
CNA.
And if you know this, who CNAis.

(52:46):
But yeah, high street suits.
There are plenty of places thatyou can go.
And I think if my ex-husband hadsaid, if his mate had said,
look, you can buy your own suitand you get your own choice in
it.
bang on then he would have beenlike yeah sure no worries and I
think most people they can reusesomething and repurpose it
they're more inclined to spend abit of money on it then you
don't like being a bridesmaid ifyou've got again if you've got

(53:07):
lots of bridesmaids or if you ifyou haven't or no if you've got
lots of bridesmaids or if you ifyou say to your bridesmaids that
this is the colour pick a dressmix mix and match them whatever
I don't mind but if you pick acolour um No, if you as the
bride...
God, this is so concise, isn'tit?

(53:27):
Right.
So in theory, right, say yourcolour scheme is black.
Yes.
You can say to your bridesmaids,right, go...
Get a black dress.
If you can pay for your owndress, that would really, really
help me out.
Yeah.
And it's in black.
most people have got a blackdress in their wardrobe that
they can wear or you can look orthey're willing to buy another
black dress because they'regoing to wear it again exactly

(53:49):
yeah and I think most peoplewould prefer being in control
and having a choice and arehappy to pay for the privilege
of having a choice because I'vebeen a bridesmaid a few times
where I would have paid to wearsomething else I would have paid
anything honestly I'm looking atyou my sister Charlie if you are
listening to this because shetook my dad to Debenhams we went

(54:09):
and had a look and we looked atall the dresses this is when the
high street was still a thingyeah and we had a lovely day
trying on these dresses andthere was this one particular
dress that I really really hatedmore than anything and showing
at the time now it was Cadbury'spurple colour oh yeah was it
shiny shiny oh and and she cameback because she's a people
pleaser and she desperatelywants my dad's approval I really

(54:32):
hope she's not listening to thisand this podcast better not do
too well really because like ifyour ex-husband listens to this
as well yeah Whoops.
And she came in, she went, oh,I've got the dresses.
I've got the bridesmaidsdresses.
I went, oh, brilliant.
I said, I don't mind which one.
As long as you didn't go forthose purples, did you?
Oh, that horrible purple thing.
And then there was this awkwardsilence.

(54:53):
And I was like, you didn't gofor the purple ones, did you?
Not the purple.
didn't do that okay and you tookdad the man that shops at Costco
for his fashion advice it'salright because obviously dad's
fucking wearing them isn't he doyou know what I mean but it's
fine I hated it I hated it but Iwore it because I love my sister
dearly and I if she had wanted abin bag but if she'd offered you

(55:15):
the choice of right this purpledress or you go buy your own
dress in the similar colour Iwould have been on the bus
straight to town ASAP yeah Iwould have saved up all my of
money no I wasn't that young butyou know it's I think if you
which I know it sounds likebrutal and a bit I'm trying to
think of another word than shitbut like manipulative or

(55:36):
something like well you can youknow another way to save you
know get them to pay for it ButI think most people would be
happy to do that.
Especially if you pay for otherthings as well.
It's like, okay, well, actually,if you guys buy the dresses, I'm
happy to pay for your hair andyour makeup or shoes or
whatever.
It's just finding that balance.
And again, this goes back towhat we were saying before about

(56:00):
picking your bridal party.
If it's your best mate, not oneof my best friends would be
like, oh, gross, she's trying tomake me pay for the wedding.
They'd be like, okay, cool,yeah, that's fine.
Do you know what I mean?
Or if they can't afford to dothat, then that's also a thing.
You have a conversation.
You should be able to conversewith these people yeah and talk
about okay what are you happy tocontribute towards if anything
yeah and if not that's fine yeahI know I think and yeah being

(56:24):
like I'm 42 and I'm old enoughto remember CNAs yeah I don't
want to be in a shit dress.
No.
I want to be in something thatI'm going to look nice.
You get to a certain age, as anadult, especially as a grown-up,
you know what things suit yourbody, you know what flatters
you, you know what doesn't.
And it's like, nothing looksworse in your wedding pictures

(56:46):
than an uncomfortablebridesmaid.
And it doesn't matter how bigshe is, how tan she is, how...
pretty she is what her hair'slike if she's uncomfortable you
can see it in the eyes andthat's literally all it is if
you've got a bridal party andall of them are in something
that they feel fucking amazingin they're gonna look great and
it's gonna radiate andeveryone's gonna look happy that

(57:09):
one uncomfortable bridesmaidthat's been forced to wear
something that they don't likeand wasn't made for them is
going to ruin your photos andnot because she's done anything
wrong but because you've been sostringent Yeah, I wouldn't say
ruin the photos.
Not ruin it, but you're going tospot it.
Yeah, 100%.
And actually, then they're notgoing to like those photos.
Do you know what I mean?

(57:29):
Personally, I would prioritisetheir comfort over sticking to
some regimented thing.
It's really hard to get a dress,one style of dress, that suits
different body types.
I like those wraparound ones.
Yeah, the ones that you canchange, the multi-way ones.
Brilliant idea.

(57:49):
I had a bride...
whose name I've totallyforgotten but it begins with J
and I could picture her straightaway I could tell you what dress
she had she had Jennifer anywayshe had a different dress Josie
that was it Josie and she had anabsolute still like an absolute
result her bridesmaids dressesshe got off Vinted or Face Bay

(58:12):
or whatever another bride wasselling on the dresses and they
were five different bridesmaidsdresses that were all the right
size for her bridesmaids in hercolour scheme£20 each yeah£100
for your bridesmaids dresses.
I would actually be inclined toplan my whole wedding around a
find like that.
Do you know what I mean?

(58:32):
I've actually seen these dressesin all the right sizes, so I'm
going to have that colour schemebecause I've saved all my money.
Our colour scheme is now canaryyellow.
Yes, because I found this bundleof bridesmaid dresses online.
But yeah, there's ways and meansof making sure that your wedding
is within budget.
And I think let's normalise.

(58:54):
Yes.
normalize not having everysingle thing that you've seen
someone else have yeah and we'vesaid it before about
prioritizing based on your needsand like make hair and makeup
and stuff like andrea jokedabout earlier like you don't
have to get your makeup done butyou don't have to get your
makeup done if you're not askedabout makeup yeah don't bother i
think you're not bothered aboutit there are ways to save money
with makeup absolutely yeah ialways say like You don't need

(59:17):
to have a trial if you're verycertain about what you want.
That saves a lot of money.
If you're taking up less of mytime, I'm going to charge you
less money.
And that's literally it.
We can go through your Instagramand be like, I love that, love
that, love that, love that.
And if you're confident with...
I do do it without doing a trialoften.
I mean, it is the norm.
I think it just relaxes people'sanxiety sometimes.

(59:38):
Especially if you're not amakeup wearer, a trial becomes
more crucial.
If you are someone that goes andgets your makeup done often or
you're one of my regular clientsyeah then why do you need a
trial yeah you probably don'tneed a trial I think as long as
the three things that guestsremember from a wedding is like
the food and like were they wellfed how they yeah well fed

(01:00:00):
comfort did the bride look niceyeah and like did they have fun
yeah like so other than thatlike don't sweat the small stuff
no one's gonna remember whatyour centerpieces were no one's
gonna no one's gonna care likewhat wedding little wedding
favor oh yeah say what mywedding favors out because they
are a waste of money they getleft behind more often than not

(01:00:21):
yeah thrown in a bag and it'sone of those things that
everyone stresses about lastminute and you really don't need
to know unless it cannot be it'san alcohol unless you can eat it
or drink it don't worry about ityeah 100 percent as lovely as
much as your friends and familylove you nobody wants a shot
glass with your name on it theamount of times you see them in
the charity shop with yeah Iknow so I did get I got everyone

(01:00:44):
at mine a one pound scratch cardand they scratched it off and
everyone was shouting out whatthey won yeah and at the end
they gave it all to us anywaywhich is really nice yeah but it
was really cute because oneperson was like oh I'm just
gonna give this to you guys andevery you see everyone else is
like I guess we have to give itoh But no, it cost us a pound

(01:01:05):
per person and it was just like10 minutes of fun where everyone
was scratching off their littlescratchy cards.
I saw a TikTok about this.
Brian did this.
She got some really lovelylittle envelopes, little
personal stickers.
You are only allowed to buy 10scratch cards at a time.
We had a troop of people buyingthem.
What would you do though if youwere a guest and as a guest they

(01:01:26):
won like 100,000?
oh my god i would totally justkeep quiet i'd be like oh my god
yeah like absolutely i don'tthink anyone wanted anything
substantial otherwise because idon't think the couple deserve
it just because i'm so skintyeah yeah that's so skint right
sort my life out yeah that couldbe deposit for a house oh my god
the wedding i would have i knowoh no yeah i would like and then

(01:01:48):
i'll be back to square onebecause i'll be like oh you are
yeah no i just uh spunked 100kon a wedding yeah just gone i'm
actually homeless you How quickshe changed her mind.
But no, I would totally keepthat to myself.
Right, I think that's an hour.
An hour?
Oh my God.
Yeah.
We can't do much, but we canchat shit for an hour about

(01:02:09):
weddings, can't we?
So thank you if you're stilllistening to the end.
Thank you for listening andlet's have a big congratulations
to our new bride, new fiancé,Andrea.
Thank you.
Very happy.
And we will, I guess, see youguys next week.
Yeah.
So thank you for tuning in,guys.
We'll talk to you later.
Thank you.

UNKNOWN (01:02:27):
Bye.
Bye.