October 13, 2025 âą 30 mins
đȘ What if feeling âlostâ is actually a sign youâre waking up to who you really are? This week, Caitlan talks with Rebecca Pilger about how slowing down, listening in, and trusting your inner knowing can shift burnout into something more grounded and real.
đ Rebecca, a spiritual motivational speaker, intuitive medium, and the inspiring voice behind the SOUL DESIRE podcast. Her journey has been one of deep transformationâshedding fear and doubt to embrace her divine purpose. Through her work, Rebecca guides others to awaken their inner wisdom, reclaim their truth, and step fully into their light. On SOUL DESIRE, she leads raw, heart-centered conversations about healing, transformation, and divine guidanceâall grounded in her powerful message: You are not lostâyouâre simply remembering who you were always meant to be.
Connect with her here: Website: www.rebeccapilger.com
Instagram: www.instagram.com/rebeccapilger
SOUL DESIRE Podcast: https://souldesire.buzzsprout.com
đ Caitlan is a Creative Coach, Speaker, and loves getting lost in a book and on a hiking trail.
Follow me @CreativeCaitlan
Find all my projects at â â https://caitlantrewhella.com
đ Lyndie Laramore is a Career Coach, licensed Therapist, and Consultant and knows exactly how to bring down the house with her classical singing.
Follow me @LyndieLaramore
â â https://lyndielaramore.com
Use our link to get 15% off your purchase of Loop earplugs to live life at your volume: https://loop-earplugs.sjv.io/09304N
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Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
(00:05):
Welcome back to Burnout Break Room, the podcast that's like a
break room but helpful, where welook at burnout through a
realistic lens. Talk about ways to take a.
Break from the grind and spill the tea.
I'm Caitlin Trujela, creativity coach and speaker, and Lindy
Larimore, licensed. Therapist certified career.
Coach and Consultant is taking abreak from today's episode.
(00:28):
For a work. Conference and.
We are your hosts. And thank you for joining us
here in the Burnout Break Room. This episode is brought to you
by Loop Earplugs as the. Winner.
Of the Red dot Award for product.
Design Loop is globally recognized for its innovation in
ear wear, promising long lastingear protection.
(00:50):
Whether they're for focus. Fun or better sleep you'll find
durable quality and premium comfort in.
Every pair. Use our link to get 15% off your
next purchase today and. Live life at your.
Volume lean into everything you.Love that's loud with.
Bold noise reducing ear wear. Thank you Loop and today we are
(01:13):
joined by. Rebecca Pilger.
She is a public. Speaker, Divine Feminine Energy
guide and host of the. Sole Desire Podcast.
After experiencing trauma, survival mode, and repeated
burnout, she discovered that pushing harder only LED her
further away from her truth. Through surrender, healing, and
(01:34):
embodiment, she shifted into herdivine feminine energy and rose
as her inner Empress. Today, she helps others.
Break free from survival patterns, overcome burnout and
reclaim their radiance, self worth and.
Power, Rebecca, we are so excited to have you here.
Today, thank you for joining. Thank you so much, Caitlin.
(01:58):
I'm so excited and it's going tobe so beautiful to talk to you
because I feel like you have such a beautiful podcast and so
many beautiful topics. Thank you so much And I just.
Have to say, Rebecca, I was so incredibly excited to talk with
you today, especially. When I learned about your work
(02:22):
with feminine energy and also your very.
Specific approach to spiritual. Embodiment and I wanted to ask
you specifically for anyone thatconsiders spiritual
conversations. To be a little bit woo woo, what
(02:43):
would you say? To them about that.
I feel like that's a good question because honestly, for
some people it's really like youhave to meet them where they at.
Spirituality is such a broad topic and I feel like we all
somehow are spiritual because webelieve in coincidences.
(03:03):
We believe in a higher force, ina higher self.
Then we somehow are spiritual already.
It's just to what degree. And I feel like spiritually can
be this divine out there and it can be this grounded here on
earth. It's just find your middle
(03:25):
ground, find what suits you, what fits you, and make it your
own. So I feel like this is really a
personal question for each and everyone.
Make it your own. Really listen to what feels true
to you, because at some level weall want to believe in
something. Very well, said Rebecca.
(03:47):
And it is very individualized, but the, the thing that comes
with individualized beliefs and first of all, taking
responsibility for, you know, what we put into the universe
and how we interact with it every single day because it is
impossible not to have an impacton this world, no matter how
(04:09):
small. Or great we are.
All impacting it every single day.
So we we have to take responsibility for our role in
that. I feel like what a lot of
people. Don't think about is recognizing
that taking the time to establish your own beliefs.
And really solidify your. Principles and your this own
(04:32):
personal idea. Of what your spirituality is,
that is work because if you establish your beliefs.
Yourself instead of just taking.Somebody else's prescribed
belief. It's a lot of work to figure
that. Out on your own.
Yeah, this is so true. And quite honestly, I've never
saw it from this point. I never really thought about
(04:55):
this, but you're right. It's I think some people are
believing in something because of the group environment,
because it gives them strength. So they don't necessarily
believe in a higher force. They believe in the group
dynamic. And this is also a beautiful
thing because they believe in the cautiousness without even
(05:16):
knowing they believe in this cautiousness of all of them.
So I feel like, yeah, you're right to really find what
resonates with you, to really figure out where am I at?
Because obviously there are so many directions you can go and
so many things might work and some things resonate which are
(05:40):
totally unrelated to others. And I feel like this is the
beautiful part where you can make it and merge it for you,
make them your own. But you're right, it's work to
look through all of this, to feel into you what's resonating
with me. And sometimes it's the beautiful
thing. I feel like our souls already
(06:01):
know. So sometimes it's really just
sitting in the quiet and just focus on listening to yourself.
Sometimes coming through dreams,through journaling, sometimes we
just know what resonates with us.
So I feel like this is such a beautiful journey actually.
It's work, definitely. But I feel like everything in
(06:24):
life is work. If you want to be clear on
something, good on something, oraligned with something, it's
automatically work. The question is, how do you see
it? Work is labeled so negatively.
I feel like it's an adventure. It's a getting to know yourself
(06:45):
better. And I feel like this is the
beautiful part because what better is there on earth and
getting to understand you? We all love to talk about
ourselves, but this is how you can figure out yourself.
It's beautiful. So when you label it different
and you say it's not work, but it's an adventure, it's getting
(07:08):
to truly know myself on a deeperlevel and it's kind of fun.
I I feel this this message is so.
Timely right now. Rebecca, because you're
absolutely right. The even just looking at the.
The verbiage the. Term work is often associated
with a negative. Perspective because as we we
(07:30):
talk about the the struggles of corporate life here.
On the podcast and how work. Is talked.
About in the context. Of work life.
Balance. It's it's something to, you
know, constantly monitor. But I I love this perspective.
Of especially when when we're talking.
(07:52):
About self exploration. It doesn't have to be.
It doesn't have to be difficult necessarily or seen as something
negative. So to look.
At it as an adventure is a wonderfully new perspective.
I absolutely love that. And it kind of reminds me too,
of when I was studying psychology, you know, it's.
(08:13):
Just as you said, everybody loves.
Talking about themselves, but the the balance of talking about
yourself and achieving a. Greater degree of self.
Awareness with the. Courage that it takes to.
Go throughout that journey to bean active participant in that
(08:35):
discovery rather than, you know,discovering new things.
About yourself, passively or. Making it the responsibility of
somebody else. To do that, So what a.
What a wonderfully positive. Way of.
Of looking at that. Thank you for sharing.
There's a lot of value in this because I feel like most of us,
(08:57):
we are not talking about the real us.
We're talking about the version of us, the people around us
should see. So it's behind a mask.
But truly stripping down to yourauthentic self and speaking
about your true emotions, being vulnerable, raw and honest with
(09:19):
yourself and the people around you is so hard.
Because it's like when you wake up on the night and you have
this dream, when you think, Oh my God, I'm Naked in front of my
colleagues or at school. This is how it feels when you're
really true, honest, authentic and raw for the first time.
(09:43):
You're just your vulnerable selfand then talking about yourself
is like standing there naked. But the more you do this, the
more you are courageous enough to show up.
It's getting easier and becomes this.
You become your true self. It's like you pull back the
(10:04):
pieces of yourself and you put yourself together and you let go
of everything which isn't you. And then I feel like then it's a
courageous step to talk about yourself because then people
truly love hearing from you because they learn, they admire,
(10:26):
and they gain value when you share.
So very true, Rebecca. Especially, as you know, burnout
can often. Be a result of.
Constant masking we. We talked about that a lot here.
On the podcast and so. For people who have.
The experience of having to maska form of protection.
(10:49):
The more we wear those masks, the more we become disconnected
with our authentic selves. And I love talking about this,
especially in my work. As a creative coach.
And talking about how. Creativity plays such a huge.
Role in forming that authentic connection with ourselves.
(11:12):
So I can certainly talk. About this all day, but you are
so. Right in.
The the process of. Spending more time with that
authentic self. That is, that is.
Underneath the surface and when when we truly.
Look at what? Happens when we are living in a
(11:36):
mask in so many ways that we. See that this is.
More and more important, I just want to take a moment to
remember that masking is not. Always a choice.
So many people have the unfortunate experience of being
required to take part in code switching and different forms of
masking. Just as a survival tactic, but.
(11:58):
This is all the more reason to support each other in these
communities to be our authentic selves, and a lot of times.
We we talk about. This within the context.
Of leadership. How?
Can we create environments? Where people are.
Not only encouraged to. Show up as their.
(12:20):
Authentic selves, but feel safe doing so.
Can you? Can you talk a little bit?
About how? How leadership.
Plays plays a role in that and how we might do that in those
environments. Sure, I used to be in survival
mode for 34 years, so the majority of my life.
(12:41):
So I didn't know who I was, always dimming my light, always
wearing a mask. And for all those years, I
pretended to be someone to receive false love, to receive
false respect, to receive false acknowledgement, or to feel fit
(13:01):
in in a situation and environment where I never
belonged. I was never seen for truly who I
am, for my gifts, my personality, for the love I gave
or the love I wanted to receive.So probably most of the time,
(13:22):
people force others to wear masks because they're not able
to lift their own. They're not able to see
underneath their own. And unfortunately, it really
rooted in my childhood and it went through all the
relationships. And the more I got into survival
(13:43):
mode, the deeper I got into this.
The shadows got darker. It's hard to choose yourself.
You're thinking your worth is connected to the others, so
there's no reason to unmask yourself.
And so, yeah, I know how hard this is.
(14:04):
But what I want to give everybody right now is you are
so worthy and so deserving of the life you desire.
Because when you look down deep inside of you, you desire
something for yourself. It's always there, it's never
dying, it's in within yourself, it's in your gut feeling, and
it's your soul still rowing for you, cheering you on and hoping
(14:30):
one day the mass breaks off and you are courageous enough to
look behind all of this. And this is where the magic
happens. Because this is where authentic
true love lives, fulfillment, purpose and everything you
desire. So I feel like people need to
hear this. It's I needed to hear this.
(14:50):
And unfortunately, I couldn't hear anybody tell this to me.
So I needed to set my, my life on fire to really see this.
And I had to go through really dark chapters of my life.
But once you get there, you realize what's really beneath it
and that everything you desire is really, indeed there for you.
(15:13):
And so, yeah, I, I feel like this was something I just needed
to say. And you said, what can leaders
do to help, right. For me, when I was in burnout,
it was I did a couple of business before this, I was in
the divine masculine society. And for those who are not
(15:34):
spiritual, the masculine energy is the taking action,
scheduling, planning. The divine feminine energy is
intuitive, creating, resting, working in cycles.
I took my business is always howsociety tells you to do and it's
usually the hustle paradigm, this hustle mentality.
(15:58):
And it used to work really well for me when I was in survival
mode because it was always this hustle grain and pushing further
and pushing to the limit. And if you're, if you're always
on this, you're doing this dance, you're always on the
verge of being in burnout. You're most of the time not
fully in burnout. I've had three full blown out
(16:21):
burnouts. But before that it took me
probably couple of years to dance the line and You Can Dance
the line for years, but it's nothealthy.
So I started this business afterreally healing myself and this
is something a lot of people might not know.
(16:44):
It's once you heal yourself, youchange the ingredients of your
recipe because on the sudden your business, your work
environment, your relationships,your family, nothing is the same
anymore. Different recipe, different
situation. Now you put a little little bit
more pepper in there and it tastes different.
(17:05):
And the other ingredients, they don't harmonize as much anymore.
And this is what happened. I healed myself.
I realized this is not working for me.
I need to stop engaging in toxicpatterns.
I need to step out of survival mode.
(17:25):
And when I recognized this, I took the same pattern I used to
take for building a business andapplied it to the new business.
And guess what? My soup was really a disaster.
Nobody could ever eat this if this would actually be happy.
So I was like, OK, I need to change this up.
(17:49):
It's it's running against the wall.
So I was like, I'm not pushing hard enough.
So I pushed harder and I was like, I'm not doing it.
I probably need to switch up andjust push a little harder.
And the the pressure needs to bemore and more.
And I ran against the wall and another wall and another wall
(18:11):
and it just got exhausted. And then I recognized this is
not working for me. But unfortunately, I just
recognized, like when I was in adeep burnout, that this didn't
work for me. And this realization, I needed
to shift back. I needed to go back into my
divine feminine energy. So I realized this energy just
(18:36):
works on a soul level with me. So I was picking a pattern that
didn't work for me. And it's like just another mask.
You're masking up what's truly underneath it.
So what I did to shift from thisburnout, and this is something
leaders can apply to yourself when you're on burnout, is take
(18:59):
the split moments to reconnect to yourself.
So what I did in the morning is I just woke up and the first
question I did is I didn't grab my phone, I didn't doom scroll,
I didn't do all of this. I really connected to myself and
asked what do I need today? What is one thing I can do for
me today? And that shifted my focus to me
(19:22):
at the present moment. Because here's the thing, when
you're in burnout, you're not thinking about the past, you're
not thinking about the future. You're thinking not even about
this right now. You're just in this clout and
this fork. And I mean, most of the time
you're in this fork. And I was like doing my To Do
(19:44):
List and then there came this scarcity part.
If I don't do this, then. So I was really always either in
this cloud or taking the future steps.
I need to do this, I need to do this.
But when you focus on this here now really being present is
where the divine feminine lives.Because the more you connect
(20:07):
with your divine feminine and you release the mask, the more
this comes becomes familiar. I'm not saying it's becoming a
new home because most of the time we lift a lot in this
hassle mentality so it feels still tempting.
I was always tempted to go back to survival and it was really
hard to prevent myself from slipping back because it's so
(20:32):
familiar. So hassle and grind felt like
the right thing to do, and rest felt like laziness.
So I felt like I can't rest eventhough my body was calling for
it, I couldn't because it meant I was lazy.
And then there came this old wound.
(20:54):
Family wound. If you don't bring well value to
somebody, you're worthless. So I couldn't rest because I
wouldn't bring value. I wouldn't support anybody so
I'm worthless and I can't do this because worthless means no
love. And at least this was for me
this way. I don't know if it's on a
psychological part really true like this, but for me it felt
(21:18):
deeply connected. It felt like I can't rest right
now because then nobody will love me and they will abandoned
me. And this was the worst for me.
So usually you need to cut this familiar pattern and make your
(21:40):
natural energy, what's actually underneath the survival, your
true new home. When you do this and you remove
this, your creativity, your divine knowing, your inner
knowing is there again, it's active and it will tell you in
your body, you can feel this. Your body is tensing.
(22:02):
When you're stepping back into survival mode, your hormones and
your digestion will tense up andyou will know, whoa, my
digestion is off, my bleeding isoff.
This is usually a sign that you may be on this verge again, that
you may be. Your stress level is peaking.
(22:23):
So you need to really do both sosurvivor mode can't grab you
back in and soak you back in into this old environment.
It will always be there and I'm not saying you will never slip
back because that would be a lie.
Even I slip back from time to time and it depends.
(22:46):
But the good thing is you build this muscle of knowing you
trained your body, your nervous system, and this is an entire
new and deeper level. Your nervous system is totally
connected to the survival mode and this is really training your
body slowly but surely that restis OK.
(23:08):
And for example, I did this, I step scheduled 5 minutes usually
after lunch because I was tired after lunch naturally.
So was perfect. I just scheduled 5 minutes and I
laid down phone somewhere else and I placed my right hand on my
womb and my left on my heart andI really connected to myself and
(23:32):
to my soul. And I told her we are safe to
rest right now. And I personally, this might be
for some people Vuvu, but for meit works really well.
I gave my soul a name because when I slipped out of survival
mode, my problem was that I was disconnected from myself.
(23:53):
I didn't love myself, I didn't feel worthy.
So I needed a bridge basically. So I gave my soul an endearing
name and I talked to her and when I looked in the mirror, I
looked through my eyes and this is where you connect to your
soul. So I talked to her like to
(24:14):
someone I love. And when I felt loved enough, I
was able to much both. So when you do this and talk to
her and encourage her to rest and tell her she's safe, she
doesn't have to worry, nothing will happen.
And this is not only that. You build this connection to
(24:36):
yourself and to your soul and build this inner knowing.
You heal your inner child because your inner child
listens. And you heal your nervous system
because your nervous system slowly gets rewired.
And knowing rest as safe, nothing happens.
We wake up and it's OK, We can even rest an entire day and we
(25:00):
can stretch it to a week when weneed this because this is the
beautiful thing. When you're in your divine
feminine energy, you work cyclically.
And this was a really hard challenge for me because in the
beginning I thought I can't justrest a week just because I feel
(25:20):
like it. I feel drained.
I can't do this. But this week it it gave me the
strength to accelerate the remaining weeks.
It was incredible how much progress I made, how many new
ideas and creativity offspring of me because I felt like, wow,
(25:43):
I've never had this and it's just by resting.
So it might take a time to really build this muscle, but
once you build this, you will actually see the benefits from
resting, from recharging yourself, from caring for
yourself and just relaxing. So many good points made here,
(26:09):
Rebecca. Going back to what you were
talking about, the perception ofself value, personal value, we
can rationally know, of course I'm valuable.
I'm, I'm a, I'm a person. I've done this.
I've got this degree. I've had this.
Accomplishment you know you can name off 100 different things,
but it's different to feel it and to be connected with your
(26:31):
personal value and. I will say that.
In my my personal journey of reconnecting with that one of my
absolute favorite affirmations is one of the most simple in my
arsenal. Is the phrase there is value?
In my breath. So in other words, I am valuable
(26:54):
just for being here. I bring value to this universe,
to this plane, simply by being alive.
And it is in the potential that I have in this given moment and
the next and the next and the next for everything I have and
everything that I am. And that mentality can really.
(27:14):
Help be a. Springboard into diving into.
Those those. Old wounds and discovering where
those fundamental beliefs come from.
And Rebecca, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate
you joining the break room today.
This has been a truly enlightening conversation and I
(27:35):
know that the audience will feelthe same is this conversation
has made me feel so much lighterand I just want to thank you for
everything you've brought to theBurnout Break room.
And when you're not here, where can people find you?
Thank you so much for your kind words while I landed right into
my heart and I really appreciatebeing here.
(27:57):
Thank you so much for sharing the space and holding the space
actually, because I feel like you made it better.
If if people want to connect with me, they can do this.
Probably best on Instagram at Rebecca Pilger.
I'm there most of the times. And I do have a website
(28:18):
therebeccapilger.com. And yeah, I do have the podcast
Soul Desire, where I like to just share insights and my own
healing journey and little revelations.
And I really love when people reach out to me because I like
to know where they're at. So maybe I can help them, maybe
(28:42):
they can connect or find somebody like a soul family,
because I feel like this is whatwe all need.
So if there's just somebody I can help, that's such a blessing
for me. Amazing.
Thank you so much, Rebecca. And of course.
All of those. Links will be in the show notes.
(29:02):
So that people. Can reach you directly and when
Lindy is not in the break room. You can find her at
lindylarimore.com. As well as.
Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn.
And for myself, when I'm not in the break room, you can connect
with me at caitlinetruehella.comand from my website you can find
(29:26):
all of my. Socials as well as.
My presence on LinkedIn. You can send me a message if
you'd like to connect or if you're looking.
For specifically work related to.
Writing or your book? I'm also an author, coach and I
do ideation sessions for those looking for.
(29:47):
Creative support as well, so. Thank you so much for joining us
on this. Episode Rebecca.
And thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much. Bye bye.
Welcome back to Burnout Break Room, the podcast that's like a
break room but helpful, where welook at burnout through a
realistic lens. Talk about ways to take a.
Break from the grind and spill the tea.
I'm Caitlin Trujela, creativity coach and speaker, and Lindy
Larimore, licensed. Therapist certified career.
Coach and Consultant is taking abreak from today's episode.
(00:28):
For a work. Conference and.
We are your hosts. And thank you for joining us
here in the Burnout Break Room. This episode is brought to you
by Loop Earplugs as the. Winner.
Of the Red dot Award for product.
Design Loop is globally recognized for its innovation in
ear wear, promising long lastingear protection.
(00:50):
Whether they're for focus. Fun or better sleep you'll find
durable quality and premium comfort in.
Every pair. Use our link to get 15% off your
next purchase today and. Live life at your.
Volume lean into everything you.Love that's loud with.
Bold noise reducing ear wear. Thank you Loop and today we are
(01:13):
joined by. Rebecca Pilger.
She is a public. Speaker, Divine Feminine Energy
guide and host of the. Sole Desire Podcast.
After experiencing trauma, survival mode, and repeated
burnout, she discovered that pushing harder only LED her
further away from her truth. Through surrender, healing, and
(01:34):
embodiment, she shifted into herdivine feminine energy and rose
as her inner Empress. Today, she helps others.
Break free from survival patterns, overcome burnout and
reclaim their radiance, self worth and.
Power, Rebecca, we are so excited to have you here.
Today, thank you for joining. Thank you so much, Caitlin.
(01:58):
I'm so excited and it's going tobe so beautiful to talk to you
because I feel like you have such a beautiful podcast and so
many beautiful topics. Thank you so much And I just.
Have to say, Rebecca, I was so incredibly excited to talk with
you today, especially. When I learned about your work
(02:22):
with feminine energy and also your very.
Specific approach to spiritual. Embodiment and I wanted to ask
you specifically for anyone thatconsiders spiritual
conversations. To be a little bit woo woo, what
(02:43):
would you say? To them about that.
I feel like that's a good question because honestly, for
some people it's really like youhave to meet them where they at.
Spirituality is such a broad topic and I feel like we all
somehow are spiritual because webelieve in coincidences.
(03:03):
We believe in a higher force, ina higher self.
Then we somehow are spiritual already.
It's just to what degree. And I feel like spiritually can
be this divine out there and it can be this grounded here on
earth. It's just find your middle
(03:25):
ground, find what suits you, what fits you, and make it your
own. So I feel like this is really a
personal question for each and everyone.
Make it your own. Really listen to what feels true
to you, because at some level weall want to believe in
something. Very well, said Rebecca.
(03:47):
And it is very individualized, but the, the thing that comes
with individualized beliefs and first of all, taking
responsibility for, you know, what we put into the universe
and how we interact with it every single day because it is
impossible not to have an impacton this world, no matter how
(04:09):
small. Or great we are.
All impacting it every single day.
So we we have to take responsibility for our role in
that. I feel like what a lot of
people. Don't think about is recognizing
that taking the time to establish your own beliefs.
And really solidify your. Principles and your this own
(04:32):
personal idea. Of what your spirituality is,
that is work because if you establish your beliefs.
Yourself instead of just taking.Somebody else's prescribed
belief. It's a lot of work to figure
that. Out on your own.
Yeah, this is so true. And quite honestly, I've never
saw it from this point. I never really thought about
(04:55):
this, but you're right. It's I think some people are
believing in something because of the group environment,
because it gives them strength. So they don't necessarily
believe in a higher force. They believe in the group
dynamic. And this is also a beautiful
thing because they believe in the cautiousness without even
(05:16):
knowing they believe in this cautiousness of all of them.
So I feel like, yeah, you're right to really find what
resonates with you, to really figure out where am I at?
Because obviously there are so many directions you can go and
so many things might work and some things resonate which are
(05:40):
totally unrelated to others. And I feel like this is the
beautiful part where you can make it and merge it for you,
make them your own. But you're right, it's work to
look through all of this, to feel into you what's resonating
with me. And sometimes it's the beautiful
thing. I feel like our souls already
(06:01):
know. So sometimes it's really just
sitting in the quiet and just focus on listening to yourself.
Sometimes coming through dreams,through journaling, sometimes we
just know what resonates with us.
So I feel like this is such a beautiful journey actually.
It's work, definitely. But I feel like everything in
(06:24):
life is work. If you want to be clear on
something, good on something, oraligned with something, it's
automatically work. The question is, how do you see
it? Work is labeled so negatively.
I feel like it's an adventure. It's a getting to know yourself
(06:45):
better. And I feel like this is the
beautiful part because what better is there on earth and
getting to understand you? We all love to talk about
ourselves, but this is how you can figure out yourself.
It's beautiful. So when you label it different
and you say it's not work, but it's an adventure, it's getting
(07:08):
to truly know myself on a deeperlevel and it's kind of fun.
I I feel this this message is so.
Timely right now. Rebecca, because you're
absolutely right. The even just looking at the.
The verbiage the. Term work is often associated
with a negative. Perspective because as we we
(07:30):
talk about the the struggles of corporate life here.
On the podcast and how work. Is talked.
About in the context. Of work life.
Balance. It's it's something to, you
know, constantly monitor. But I I love this perspective.
Of especially when when we're talking.
(07:52):
About self exploration. It doesn't have to be.
It doesn't have to be difficult necessarily or seen as something
negative. So to look.
At it as an adventure is a wonderfully new perspective.
I absolutely love that. And it kind of reminds me too,
of when I was studying psychology, you know, it's.
(08:13):
Just as you said, everybody loves.
Talking about themselves, but the the balance of talking about
yourself and achieving a. Greater degree of self.
Awareness with the. Courage that it takes to.
Go throughout that journey to bean active participant in that
(08:35):
discovery rather than, you know,discovering new things.
About yourself, passively or. Making it the responsibility of
somebody else. To do that, So what a.
What a wonderfully positive. Way of.
Of looking at that. Thank you for sharing.
There's a lot of value in this because I feel like most of us,
(08:57):
we are not talking about the real us.
We're talking about the version of us, the people around us
should see. So it's behind a mask.
But truly stripping down to yourauthentic self and speaking
about your true emotions, being vulnerable, raw and honest with
(09:19):
yourself and the people around you is so hard.
Because it's like when you wake up on the night and you have
this dream, when you think, Oh my God, I'm Naked in front of my
colleagues or at school. This is how it feels when you're
really true, honest, authentic and raw for the first time.
(09:43):
You're just your vulnerable selfand then talking about yourself
is like standing there naked. But the more you do this, the
more you are courageous enough to show up.
It's getting easier and becomes this.
You become your true self. It's like you pull back the
(10:04):
pieces of yourself and you put yourself together and you let go
of everything which isn't you. And then I feel like then it's a
courageous step to talk about yourself because then people
truly love hearing from you because they learn, they admire,
(10:26):
and they gain value when you share.
So very true, Rebecca. Especially, as you know, burnout
can often. Be a result of.
Constant masking we. We talked about that a lot here.
On the podcast and so. For people who have.
The experience of having to maska form of protection.
(10:49):
The more we wear those masks, the more we become disconnected
with our authentic selves. And I love talking about this,
especially in my work. As a creative coach.
And talking about how. Creativity plays such a huge.
Role in forming that authentic connection with ourselves.
(11:12):
So I can certainly talk. About this all day, but you are
so. Right in.
The the process of. Spending more time with that
authentic self. That is, that is.
Underneath the surface and when when we truly.
Look at what? Happens when we are living in a
(11:36):
mask in so many ways that we. See that this is.
More and more important, I just want to take a moment to
remember that masking is not. Always a choice.
So many people have the unfortunate experience of being
required to take part in code switching and different forms of
masking. Just as a survival tactic, but.
(11:58):
This is all the more reason to support each other in these
communities to be our authentic selves, and a lot of times.
We we talk about. This within the context.
Of leadership. How?
Can we create environments? Where people are.
Not only encouraged to. Show up as their.
(12:20):
Authentic selves, but feel safe doing so.
Can you? Can you talk a little bit?
About how? How leadership.
Plays plays a role in that and how we might do that in those
environments. Sure, I used to be in survival
mode for 34 years, so the majority of my life.
(12:41):
So I didn't know who I was, always dimming my light, always
wearing a mask. And for all those years, I
pretended to be someone to receive false love, to receive
false respect, to receive false acknowledgement, or to feel fit
(13:01):
in in a situation and environment where I never
belonged. I was never seen for truly who I
am, for my gifts, my personality, for the love I gave
or the love I wanted to receive.So probably most of the time,
(13:22):
people force others to wear masks because they're not able
to lift their own. They're not able to see
underneath their own. And unfortunately, it really
rooted in my childhood and it went through all the
relationships. And the more I got into survival
(13:43):
mode, the deeper I got into this.
The shadows got darker. It's hard to choose yourself.
You're thinking your worth is connected to the others, so
there's no reason to unmask yourself.
And so, yeah, I know how hard this is.
(14:04):
But what I want to give everybody right now is you are
so worthy and so deserving of the life you desire.
Because when you look down deep inside of you, you desire
something for yourself. It's always there, it's never
dying, it's in within yourself, it's in your gut feeling, and
it's your soul still rowing for you, cheering you on and hoping
(14:30):
one day the mass breaks off and you are courageous enough to
look behind all of this. And this is where the magic
happens. Because this is where authentic
true love lives, fulfillment, purpose and everything you
desire. So I feel like people need to
hear this. It's I needed to hear this.
(14:50):
And unfortunately, I couldn't hear anybody tell this to me.
So I needed to set my, my life on fire to really see this.
And I had to go through really dark chapters of my life.
But once you get there, you realize what's really beneath it
and that everything you desire is really, indeed there for you.
(15:13):
And so, yeah, I, I feel like this was something I just needed
to say. And you said, what can leaders
do to help, right. For me, when I was in burnout,
it was I did a couple of business before this, I was in
the divine masculine society. And for those who are not
(15:34):
spiritual, the masculine energy is the taking action,
scheduling, planning. The divine feminine energy is
intuitive, creating, resting, working in cycles.
I took my business is always howsociety tells you to do and it's
usually the hustle paradigm, this hustle mentality.
(15:58):
And it used to work really well for me when I was in survival
mode because it was always this hustle grain and pushing further
and pushing to the limit. And if you're, if you're always
on this, you're doing this dance, you're always on the
verge of being in burnout. You're most of the time not
fully in burnout. I've had three full blown out
(16:21):
burnouts. But before that it took me
probably couple of years to dance the line and You Can Dance
the line for years, but it's nothealthy.
So I started this business afterreally healing myself and this
is something a lot of people might not know.
(16:44):
It's once you heal yourself, youchange the ingredients of your
recipe because on the sudden your business, your work
environment, your relationships,your family, nothing is the same
anymore. Different recipe, different
situation. Now you put a little little bit
more pepper in there and it tastes different.
(17:05):
And the other ingredients, they don't harmonize as much anymore.
And this is what happened. I healed myself.
I realized this is not working for me.
I need to stop engaging in toxicpatterns.
I need to step out of survival mode.
(17:25):
And when I recognized this, I took the same pattern I used to
take for building a business andapplied it to the new business.
And guess what? My soup was really a disaster.
Nobody could ever eat this if this would actually be happy.
So I was like, OK, I need to change this up.
(17:49):
It's it's running against the wall.
So I was like, I'm not pushing hard enough.
So I pushed harder and I was like, I'm not doing it.
I probably need to switch up andjust push a little harder.
And the the pressure needs to bemore and more.
And I ran against the wall and another wall and another wall
(18:11):
and it just got exhausted. And then I recognized this is
not working for me. But unfortunately, I just
recognized, like when I was in adeep burnout, that this didn't
work for me. And this realization, I needed
to shift back. I needed to go back into my
divine feminine energy. So I realized this energy just
(18:36):
works on a soul level with me. So I was picking a pattern that
didn't work for me. And it's like just another mask.
You're masking up what's truly underneath it.
So what I did to shift from thisburnout, and this is something
leaders can apply to yourself when you're on burnout, is take
(18:59):
the split moments to reconnect to yourself.
So what I did in the morning is I just woke up and the first
question I did is I didn't grab my phone, I didn't doom scroll,
I didn't do all of this. I really connected to myself and
asked what do I need today? What is one thing I can do for
me today? And that shifted my focus to me
(19:22):
at the present moment. Because here's the thing, when
you're in burnout, you're not thinking about the past, you're
not thinking about the future. You're thinking not even about
this right now. You're just in this clout and
this fork. And I mean, most of the time
you're in this fork. And I was like doing my To Do
(19:44):
List and then there came this scarcity part.
If I don't do this, then. So I was really always either in
this cloud or taking the future steps.
I need to do this, I need to do this.
But when you focus on this here now really being present is
where the divine feminine lives.Because the more you connect
(20:07):
with your divine feminine and you release the mask, the more
this comes becomes familiar. I'm not saying it's becoming a
new home because most of the time we lift a lot in this
hassle mentality so it feels still tempting.
I was always tempted to go back to survival and it was really
hard to prevent myself from slipping back because it's so
(20:32):
familiar. So hassle and grind felt like
the right thing to do, and rest felt like laziness.
So I felt like I can't rest eventhough my body was calling for
it, I couldn't because it meant I was lazy.
And then there came this old wound.
(20:54):
Family wound. If you don't bring well value to
somebody, you're worthless. So I couldn't rest because I
wouldn't bring value. I wouldn't support anybody so
I'm worthless and I can't do this because worthless means no
love. And at least this was for me
this way. I don't know if it's on a
psychological part really true like this, but for me it felt
(21:18):
deeply connected. It felt like I can't rest right
now because then nobody will love me and they will abandoned
me. And this was the worst for me.
So usually you need to cut this familiar pattern and make your
(21:40):
natural energy, what's actually underneath the survival, your
true new home. When you do this and you remove
this, your creativity, your divine knowing, your inner
knowing is there again, it's active and it will tell you in
your body, you can feel this. Your body is tensing.
(22:02):
When you're stepping back into survival mode, your hormones and
your digestion will tense up andyou will know, whoa, my
digestion is off, my bleeding isoff.
This is usually a sign that you may be on this verge again, that
you may be. Your stress level is peaking.
(22:23):
So you need to really do both sosurvivor mode can't grab you
back in and soak you back in into this old environment.
It will always be there and I'm not saying you will never slip
back because that would be a lie.
Even I slip back from time to time and it depends.
(22:46):
But the good thing is you build this muscle of knowing you
trained your body, your nervous system, and this is an entire
new and deeper level. Your nervous system is totally
connected to the survival mode and this is really training your
body slowly but surely that restis OK.
(23:08):
And for example, I did this, I step scheduled 5 minutes usually
after lunch because I was tired after lunch naturally.
So was perfect. I just scheduled 5 minutes and I
laid down phone somewhere else and I placed my right hand on my
womb and my left on my heart andI really connected to myself and
(23:32):
to my soul. And I told her we are safe to
rest right now. And I personally, this might be
for some people Vuvu, but for meit works really well.
I gave my soul a name because when I slipped out of survival
mode, my problem was that I was disconnected from myself.
(23:53):
I didn't love myself, I didn't feel worthy.
So I needed a bridge basically. So I gave my soul an endearing
name and I talked to her and when I looked in the mirror, I
looked through my eyes and this is where you connect to your
soul. So I talked to her like to
(24:14):
someone I love. And when I felt loved enough, I
was able to much both. So when you do this and talk to
her and encourage her to rest and tell her she's safe, she
doesn't have to worry, nothing will happen.
And this is not only that. You build this connection to
(24:36):
yourself and to your soul and build this inner knowing.
You heal your inner child because your inner child
listens. And you heal your nervous system
because your nervous system slowly gets rewired.
And knowing rest as safe, nothing happens.
We wake up and it's OK, We can even rest an entire day and we
(25:00):
can stretch it to a week when weneed this because this is the
beautiful thing. When you're in your divine
feminine energy, you work cyclically.
And this was a really hard challenge for me because in the
beginning I thought I can't justrest a week just because I feel
(25:20):
like it. I feel drained.
I can't do this. But this week it it gave me the
strength to accelerate the remaining weeks.
It was incredible how much progress I made, how many new
ideas and creativity offspring of me because I felt like, wow,
(25:43):
I've never had this and it's just by resting.
So it might take a time to really build this muscle, but
once you build this, you will actually see the benefits from
resting, from recharging yourself, from caring for
yourself and just relaxing. So many good points made here,
(26:09):
Rebecca. Going back to what you were
talking about, the perception ofself value, personal value, we
can rationally know, of course I'm valuable.
I'm, I'm a, I'm a person. I've done this.
I've got this degree. I've had this.
Accomplishment you know you can name off 100 different things,
but it's different to feel it and to be connected with your
(26:31):
personal value and. I will say that.
In my my personal journey of reconnecting with that one of my
absolute favorite affirmations is one of the most simple in my
arsenal. Is the phrase there is value?
In my breath. So in other words, I am valuable
(26:54):
just for being here. I bring value to this universe,
to this plane, simply by being alive.
And it is in the potential that I have in this given moment and
the next and the next and the next for everything I have and
everything that I am. And that mentality can really.
(27:14):
Help be a. Springboard into diving into.
Those those. Old wounds and discovering where
those fundamental beliefs come from.
And Rebecca, I cannot begin to tell you how much I appreciate
you joining the break room today.
This has been a truly enlightening conversation and I
(27:35):
know that the audience will feelthe same is this conversation
has made me feel so much lighterand I just want to thank you for
everything you've brought to theBurnout Break room.
And when you're not here, where can people find you?
Thank you so much for your kind words while I landed right into
my heart and I really appreciatebeing here.
(27:57):
Thank you so much for sharing the space and holding the space
actually, because I feel like you made it better.
If if people want to connect with me, they can do this.
Probably best on Instagram at Rebecca Pilger.
I'm there most of the times. And I do have a website
(28:18):
therebeccapilger.com. And yeah, I do have the podcast
Soul Desire, where I like to just share insights and my own
healing journey and little revelations.
And I really love when people reach out to me because I like
to know where they're at. So maybe I can help them, maybe
(28:42):
they can connect or find somebody like a soul family,
because I feel like this is whatwe all need.
So if there's just somebody I can help, that's such a blessing
for me. Amazing.
Thank you so much, Rebecca. And of course.
All of those. Links will be in the show notes.
(29:02):
So that people. Can reach you directly and when
Lindy is not in the break room. You can find her at
lindylarimore.com. As well as.
Instagram and Facebook and LinkedIn.
And for myself, when I'm not in the break room, you can connect
with me at caitlinetruehella.comand from my website you can find
(29:26):
all of my. Socials as well as.
My presence on LinkedIn. You can send me a message if
you'd like to connect or if you're looking.
For specifically work related to.
Writing or your book? I'm also an author, coach and I
do ideation sessions for those looking for.
(29:47):
Creative support as well, so. Thank you so much for joining us
on this. Episode Rebecca.
And thank you so much for being here.
Thank you so much. Bye bye.
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