April 18, 2025 • 52 mins
Mamma Mia! Thatsa Live Episode! Nick Kroll joins Mary & Kyle for an extra special LIVE episode recorded in Hollywood on 4/8/25.
Check out the final season of BIG MOUTH on 3/28 on Netflix, “ADULTS” on FX, and “I Don’t Understand You” in theatres June 6th!
Follow @CancelYourPlansPod on IG
@MaryIreneRyan
@KyleKasabian
Check out the final season of BIG MOUTH on 3/28 on Netflix, “ADULTS” on FX, and “I Don’t Understand You” in theatres June 6th!
Follow @CancelYourPlansPod on IG
@MaryIreneRyan
@KyleKasabian
Mark as Played
Transcript
Episode Transcript
Available transcripts are automatically generated. Complete accuracy is not guaranteed.
Speaker 1 (00:45):
Hello, hoping to cancel your plans.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
This is a player in the studio, like, this is
not this is not.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
To make some noise if you've heard of this sofa
And that's the only reason.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
We're both hermits.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Hermits.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
We like to be in our home.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
And I think if they're a friend of mine, which
all of you are, I cancel a.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Lot, I cancel a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yeah, And so we wanted to examine what that really
means in a podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Yeah, So we we found a way to invite friends
to come on the show and then we could just
see them once in one like eight hour blocks and
then not leave the house for a.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Month and we could like talk to them, catch up
and then that's it, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
We don't have to see them again for another year.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
For another year, fuck it.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, that's so it's a plan within a plan, and
plan is cancel your plans.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Yeah, but this is different because this is a live
show and we have this audience here, and I feel
like we have to bring the razzle down. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We wanted to really pull out all the steps, huh.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
And so nothing gets an audience more thrilled then pre
written monologue jokes. This is This is a segment that
we like to call this week in canceled plans.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Okay, I'm gonna start us off. Okay a friend, Oh yeah,
I should get my scarlete.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
A friend asked me to help her with a self
tape at ten pm this week?
Speaker 5 (02:25):
What are friends for?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I replied, before shooting her with a gun.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
This week, I bravely agreed to meet up for coffee
with an acquaintance who wants to pursue comedy, wanted to
pick my brain.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I arrived disappointed and confused to learn that I would
not be receiving a free lobotomy.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I had a tender date cancel on me last minute this.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
Week, and I was pissed because I took the time
to shave my legs, pluck my brows, bleach my mustache,
bleach my asshole, bleach my taint, bleach my bones, and
wear a necklace.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I recently avoided being selected for Jerry duty. The celebration
was short lived, as I was then quickly selected for
gay guy Jerry duty, which is, of course, officiating a
straight wedding.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I bailed on a friend's baby shower this weekend because
I support.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
A woman's right to choose to not spend one hundred
dollars on a goddamn baby gift. I don't know that
kid yet. It hasn't come out. I don't know if
I'm gonna like it.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
You know, these days, it can be nearly impossible to
escape the shackles of the attention economy, which is what
I told Mary when I forgot to pick her up
from the airport because I was busy watching videos of
kinetic sand being cut with a knife.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
The other day, I was listening to a really great
book on tape while on my way to grab lunch
with a friend. I ended up canceling that lunch and
driving from Los Felis to Santa Monica just to stay
in the car longer and finish the book.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
When I realized I was an hour from home, I
got a hotel room for the night.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
I guess I.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Live here now until someone invites me to brunch on
the East Side.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
To celebrate our anniversary. Last week, my boyfriend and I
went to Medieval Times. We were kicked out by order
of the king for butt chugging.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Mead, Listen, if boof and wine is a crime, then
lock me in the stocks.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
Lord. That's what we are for you.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Okay, So let's bring our guests out. It's a very
exciting time.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
This man needs no introduction, but we need you to
get up on your goddamn feet and please welcome Nick.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
Cray, this.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Man.
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Thank you, Thank you for that forced standing up. I
really appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I think the biggest question on my mind, in everybody's mind,
is why didn't you cancel on this?
Speaker 5 (05:19):
It's a great question.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Mary.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
The truth is, here's the truth. Should we just get
into it? Yeah, let's be real.
Speaker 8 (05:26):
Okay, Well, okay, So I think what really sells a show,
and what sells a vibe is honesty, is intimacy, is vulnerability,
and I think that's what we're all craving right now
more than anything. And so I wanted full disclosure. Mary
and I worked together for a number of years. I
(05:47):
was her assistant.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I had to get done at the time and came
in part time.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (05:55):
It was not a full time gig at first, but
then but then over time, as Mary built trust with me,
I got access to more of her passwords, family's, social security,
fuck you.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Opposite day, Mary was my sister. I was she good,
She was amazing. Mary is an amazing person. Fine sister, No,
(06:36):
she was. She was an awesome.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Assistant because we really like well, like she was working
for me and my family and like incredibly the probably
one of the most intimate things you can do is
like enter someone's home. Was a lot and oftentimes without
asking an oftentimes with a camera. And I feel now
(07:00):
looking back, you didn't need all those like me in
the bath stuff. But you said, you said that was
the new thing to get for American airlines, to get
them people on fly or sort of a semi nude
in the bathroom. And I just push through the boundaries
too fast.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
No, that was perfect.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
We wanted to like talk, we talked about backstage and
to tell people.
Speaker 8 (07:23):
Yeah, Mary probably knows more about my relationship to canceling
plans than most people.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
And I'll say that I think Nick can say.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
No more, say a lot when I can say no more,
or I can say no.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I think you're good.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
We're actually going to escort you off stage. I think
that you say yes to a lot of things, including this,
which is incredible. But you love you love friendship, and
you love concerts and you love joy.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Yeah, and you will go.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
For like twelve hours on set to like a friend's show. Yeah,
and I'm like, I look your calendar, like, what the
heck is he doing?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
I would not do that.
Speaker 8 (08:04):
I live my life like if it's in my calendar.
For the most part, I do it, like it, but it.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Has to make it to the calendar.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Is there a strong barrier to the calendar?
Speaker 5 (08:15):
No, I mean it's I'll look it up here anybody.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
If anybody wants, we'll get you guys to share the
share in the end of the eye cloud, We'll get
you guys in there. But I really live that way,
and I don't. I don't cancel very much at all.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
No.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I actually which made my life as your assistant very
easy because I never had to be like, it's not coming,
oh interesting, Yeah, it almost always went and you showed
up on time.
Speaker 8 (08:39):
I I find it. I find canceling much more stressful.
I find the the the energy spent. I mean, the
issue is the things that, like the energy spent on
canceling or wiggling out of things feels more draining than
actually doing it. And for the most part, those things
(09:02):
I personally, I think I'm an extrovert, so I get.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Energy from it.
Speaker 8 (09:07):
I think a lot of people don't get energy from things,
and so they cancel.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
Is that what's going on with you, guys?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yeah, I'm an extroverted introvert.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Okay, speak to that more please.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I have a really great personality.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
It's absolutely honestly, you guys. It sounds like she's joking,
but she does.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I often like hurry the favor of a lot of
people around me, and then they want me to do
stuff with them.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Sure will.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
You seem like a nice person right on the outside,
it's all smiles and it's nice.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I really get most of my energy from being alone.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
So then and my dad is like this, Like my
dad will go to a wedding, people will be like,
oh my god, one is Dave Ryan.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
What am I going to see him again?
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Everybody?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
And then my Mom's like, You're never going to see
him again.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
He hates people.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
He doesn't like you, so just.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
And I'm not quite like that, But like I am
my energy from being alone.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
I think, what about you?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
There's no greater thrill in life to me than someone
telling me that they want to cancel.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Sure, And I'm like, what do you do? I'm already
I'm already there, brother, Like.
Speaker 5 (10:20):
A few free hours that you didn't know you were
going to have.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Absolutely, I'm like, what can I do?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
How can I How do you feel that time?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Ship?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well, I love I love doing great. Yeah, I love bro.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Come on over any time.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I love it. I love it because it's mostly not
doing anything.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
You just put a thing in, You put it in,
and then you just got to sit there and you're like,
I'm really doing.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Something right laun in your apartment? No, do you see?
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I hate doing the logic because it's not in my apartment.
In my apartment I do all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
I also when I get this the clothes out of
the dryer and I fold the clothes, I put the
hot sweatpants on my arm to close with them.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
It's a little cozy, a little cozy the Fellas. Fellas.
Speaker 8 (11:05):
You know how when your arm your forums get cold.
So you'll you'll fold your laundry and watch your stories.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
Yeah, I watch my story. Yeah. I watched a lot
of Buffy the Vampires.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, with sweatpants on my Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Is there a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I think it.
Speaker 8 (11:24):
Happened, really, I genuinely was wondering Geller's gonna kill you?
Speaker 5 (11:34):
At night as a vamp?
Speaker 8 (11:35):
Does she kill I've never watched fucking men.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I watched kill the vampires.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
She's okay, yeah, now it makes more sense.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
So we have forty forty five more minutes of just
talking about Buffy.
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Honestly, that's great. I'm that's that's what I came here,
That's why I didn't cancel. But no, I think I
I do get energized, but I think I assume everyone
could keep up at my pace.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Sure, and I don't think that's funny or conversation. No, no, I.
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Mean, you know, like coke, like everybody's on the same
page as ye yeah, No, No, I mean like like
I don't now having a family, not everybody can keep
up at the pace of the way I want to,
like the way I tend to move through the world.
And when you partner with someone, you have to take
that into account. And certain times you realize, like, oh,
(12:33):
it's it's situational where you want like your time alone
and what feels draining, you know.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
But I don't honestly remember the.
Speaker 8 (12:38):
Last time I said that I was going to do
something and then didn't go do it.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But do you feel that dread when you're driving there.
Speaker 8 (12:48):
Like I'm more driven by I'm more driven by guilt
than dread. So the power of I'm going to someone,
I'm disappointing someone, I'm not showing up for someone is
a more potent toxic internal engine.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Let me ask you something, Yeah, what are you running from?
Speaker 8 (13:08):
Oh, sister, you have no idea.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Mary knows.
Speaker 8 (13:14):
Actually, Mary's on top of all of my lawsuits right now,
She's across everything. She's across. The guilt's really guilt. I'm
not running, I'm running. I think it's just like I
come from a big family. There was expectations about showing
up for my family and vice versa, and so I
(13:34):
think that has carried over to the expectation that I
will show up for uh friends or family or things
I don't really have dread. It's not that's not what
I experience. I have experienced regret and remorse after the experience,
you know, like I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said
or done that.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Oh, like the social anxiety of like what I said.
Speaker 8 (13:57):
Yeah, it's more of like a post mortem that that
I have the dread.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Around versus the I'm so jealous of coupled people who
can like because I'm single. I am so jealous of
Like they ever talk about the party.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
On the drive home?
Speaker 5 (14:16):
Uh huh yeah do you guys? Do?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I love talking about it.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I love drive home rundown of you know, now that
I think of it, It's mostly just me saying all
the ways I was weird and I wish I did.
I wish I could sit here and say that, like
we get in there, we really are like that person's
weird and bad.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But it's just me saying that I think I'm weird
in that.
Speaker 8 (14:39):
Does your partner feels like, oh, he thinks I'm great
and he's wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
He's a sweetheart, He's a perfect angel if he does
nothing wrong?
Speaker 5 (14:47):
But does he gossip on the way? Does he want
a gossip?
Speaker 4 (14:50):
He's just like he was raised Mormon, so he I
think has like a very optimistic look when it comes
to people.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, generally pleasant people gravitate towards him.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Sure. Yeah, that's amazing. When your energy is clean, like yeah.
Speaker 8 (15:05):
Yeah, yeah, lurk behind yeah good, good good, that's important.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Do you have like a download after you?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
We do. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (15:16):
We also have found where we socialize together and we're
now beginning to be at a park point where it's like,
I'm gonna go do this thing because like this will
be either like draining or not that interesting for you,
and I'll go be like a social animal for like
two to three hours and like be a fully like
I will I really like go into a bit of
(15:38):
a flow state where I kind of like surf uh
an evening with both incredibly uh like surface level small
talk mixed with like weirdly deep immediate connection and then
dispersal to the next thing.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Do you think time is linear? And also.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I don't think that people must leave that interaction with
you like, oh my god, he saw he saw me,
like I want to see him again.
Speaker 8 (16:11):
I don't know, because I then on the drive home,
I'm like, oh, that person saw me looking away at
another person in the middle of that story, or why
did I share that intimacy with that person because they
don't want that from me, or you know whatever, we
just you know, I kind of critique on the way home.
So yeah, I think, but I but for the most part,
(16:33):
by the time it's time for the next interaction, I've
I've I've just pushed that down in order.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Do you think that's because you're a performer too that
you're going to fat Yeah, I think so probably.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Yeah, I mean I think it's like, uh.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
You know know, party is no different than this, So
I don't know. But but then there's like other appointments, right,
it's not just parties.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
There's stuff all day.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Do you try to make your therapist that?
Speaker 5 (17:00):
No.
Speaker 8 (17:02):
Every once in a while, I'll try to make my
therapist live, But for the most part, I really I
go in there, I got we gotta get to we
got gotta get that to work. But I also try
not to charm her, overtly charm her, because it feels count,
it feels counterproductive to to do what I do to
her what I would do to everyone else.
Speaker 9 (17:22):
Yeah, because I'm paying, I'm paying to figure out why
I need to incessantly charm people.
Speaker 8 (17:30):
I don't need to charm this person. But then I also,
you don't want to charm her. Yeah, my therapist looks
a lot like Francis McDermott.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Would scare me.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
I did it. So this is many years ago now.
Speaker 8 (17:49):
We hosted the Independent Spirit Awards the year film Independent,
the year that she for Anyone for three billboards out
but but and and she won. That day we did
a couple jokes about her, and they were fine. They
were not mean.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
It was just like, you do not want to cut
Freendy McDorman in line.
Speaker 8 (18:08):
And and then I saw her that night at a
party and she was trying to leave like a fancy
hollywy party and chant her jacket over her head and uh,
on the way out, I go Franny, Franny, and she
looks over. I'm exit hosted the show that day. So
I was feeling very like confident, like she's got to
talk to me. And she stops and she looks at me.
(18:28):
She goes, oh, yes, hi, And I said, I got
to tell you you look so much like my therapist.
And she goes, okay, let's do the work. And she
fully was like, looked at me, and she goes, the
most powerful thing you can do is say no, so wow, unprovoked, unprovoked,
(18:50):
but fucking talking about canceling plans, you know what I mean.
And I was like okay, and then she goes, have
you met my husband. I'm like, like, I've not met
one of the Coen brothers.
Speaker 10 (19:02):
No, I think Ethan anyway, So she's married to one
of them, and I was a fan of his that like,
so I would tell that story at a party and
then on the way home, I'd be like, why did
I that story?
Speaker 8 (19:20):
But on a live show in front of all these
wonderful people that will live forever. On a podcast, I
have even greater regrets.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Like we've been doing these podcasts for almost a year,
and people leave the studio like sometimes be like I
shouldn't have said that, and they don't really say anything
like to I think it's telling a podcast.
Speaker 8 (19:42):
Yeah, and I think you're talking about your canceling plans.
You're getting to some core version of who you are.
Like the whole interesting thing is being like, well, the
reason I'm canceling plants because I do this, for the
reason I don't cancel plans because I'm I'm this is
my weird way.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
Moving through the earth, and so yeah, just a little vulnerable.
That's the whole point.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Even when we started the first thing, we were like,
this is insane to even have a conversation that's just
about something like this with a third party of the
audience there. It was so like how do we And
then we can go and watch back what we were
saying and doing, and we were like, we look and
sound insane.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
The first time we recorded the pod, I said this
horrible story about someone in my family, and we watched
it back and I was like, oh my god, you.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Have to cut that whole thing. I should have never
said that about family.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
True in your family.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I was just like, well, why.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Did I say that? But my mom does this, and
I think.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
I get it from her, or when I'm nervous, I'll say,
like the worst possible.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
Thing is sure.
Speaker 8 (20:47):
Yeah, it's so funny to hear that you cancel plans,
that you're someone who does that, because like, because we
work together, because you work for me, Really you could
never really cancel your plenty Yeah, So like I had
no I had did not have that experience of you
at all.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
So like when anyone in this audience, they probably very
well I have canceled on them, like at least fifteen.
Speaker 8 (21:07):
Really are they like? Is it medical excuses? Do you
know you're giving legitimate when you're giving your canceling plans?
As everyone is it understood that you're.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Sometimes it's medical.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I recently got diagnosed with like a thyroid thing, and
I was so excited to be like, mother, Yeah, I
told you I was tired.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Yeah, And now.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
My doctor said that it's true that I'm extra tired
than I like almost shot.
Speaker 8 (21:34):
In my book test really for you, yeah, everybody, everyone,
not just people who you're friends with.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
No, there's anyone everyone will you want to see my
thy right now?
Speaker 3 (21:48):
But Kyle cancels in a different way than me.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
But I don't know how.
Speaker 8 (21:52):
It's just well, I'm are you conscious of your canceling
for a bullshit reason?
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Do you convince yourself otherwise? Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I think it's a mix of ball. Sometimes.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I think I'm pretty upfront about like, hey, listen, it's
not happening for me. I just I finally have a
date to myself. And when I made this plan with you,
I was deeply caffeinated. I was like, and you know,
when you're in like it's it's one of those those
weeks where you're really on fire and I'm going to
meet seven fronts for coffee. And then while you're doing that,
(22:26):
you're like, well, I should just text everybody and be like,
I haven't seen you in everyone.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
And then when when the time comes and I have to,
you know, pay the toll.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
It's just sort of me sending a message saying Hey, listen,
let's kick this down the road.
Speaker 8 (22:41):
So the next time I'm caffeinated, yeah, I haven't had
a coffee.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
But also, yeah, I can really convince myself.
Speaker 8 (22:48):
That sometimes the pleasure is like I need to let
me go get hopped up on some coffee.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Also, the act of making the pin makes me feel
like I checked in with the friends. Yeah, and I'm like, hey, listen,
I do intend to.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
See you, and our friendship is important.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Sure, goodbye.
Speaker 8 (23:03):
That's like canceling you last minute, and you feel the opposite.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Yeah, I would say this is so fucked up.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
But I'm more of a words of affirmation than quality time.
So firm I want to see you. I don't necessarily
have to see you.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
But the act of saying out loud I want to
see you is your move language.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Yes, absolutely so if I make a plan with you,
just that's that's what's important.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, that says it.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
Versus actually the quality time of Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
If you want to see Mary, you have to just
schedule an early dinner with her.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, you have this if she If.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
You come to Mary and you're like, what are you
doing at four thirty pm?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Do you want to go to Taos? She's there I
have done fo.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
Yeah we went.
Speaker 8 (23:52):
That feels right, That feels like the right time of day.
I have been there. Yeah, I had a three forty
five dinner. That feels right. Tamo Shanter to have it
a four thirty dinner, that feels right.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, we were there with like exclusively.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
I was gonna say, like the elderly people who were,
like Tamo Shanters, the finest restaurant in all of Los Angeles,
they're eating at four thirty mashed potatoes and meat.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Yeah, there's like weird. You know what's a fucking joke?
Is Prime Rib?
Speaker 8 (24:21):
What a disgusting floppy meat? Anybody thinking of prime Rib
is worth eating? It's a fucking joke. It's floppy, pink,
wet meat, and nobody should eat it.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
It's old food. It's from the past. Get gone, Get
lost Prime Rib.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
This this podcast is actually sponsored Oh no.
Speaker 8 (24:43):
Prime Lowries sponsored by Lowries Prime, the restaurant that was
assault first and now it's a restaurant.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
You guys, are you up for like a Benny Hannah? Like,
if there's like a.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Baby that makes me so nervous, I'm afraid they're gonna
ask something of me and I'm afraid they'll be like, what, I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Gonna squirt it in your mouth and it misses me
and then I look like a fool.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
You know, they ask you to put a shrimp tailing
or your throat.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Exactly what I'm afraid.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Yeah, buddy joined the club.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Where they're showing like babies at Benny Hug and they
like the Yeah, I think it's awful.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Yeah, but baby meat is so tender, so I slice
it right there and I put it out there delictenos.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
How do you feel WoT babies in restaurants in general?
Speaker 8 (25:45):
Well, now that I have babies in restaurants, I yeah,
so you guys don't know.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 8 (25:52):
That's I guess I should announce that officially babies and
restaurants has been picked up. There was comedians, a cars,
get a coffee. Now I've just got babies and restaurants
spilling sugar packets. And I had my baby in a
restaurant today. I don't it's like a I mean, it's
(26:15):
it's a nightmare to be actively a part of the.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
People with the babies. And when you don't have the babies,
you you you're hoping not to have babies.
Speaker 8 (26:24):
There so as to give you a fraction, just a
sliver of a moment to feel of peace.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
It's like hotels that don't allow children.
Speaker 8 (26:34):
There's like certain hotels that don't allow children under twelve,
and my wife gets so mad about it because it
feels like discrimination. I'm like, no, this is awesome, and
we have to figure out a time when we can
go to that place without our children.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
That will be a delight. So it's okay.
Speaker 8 (26:52):
It's okay to discriminate against having children in certain spaces.
Speaker 5 (26:55):
As someone with children, what's.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Worse your kids? Your kids in a restaurant.
Speaker 8 (27:00):
It depends on age, Like once your kid, Once your
kid can really get sucked into an iPad and forget
that everything else exists. Flights are easy until then they
move around constantly. Yeah, and restaurants. I honestly don't endeavor
to have children. I took my took one of my
little little one to a restaurants in It was a delight.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
But it was like an empty brunch. Yeah, little date,
that's cute. Yeah, really, it was a delight.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I like you, and I have frantically been like downloading
movies for one.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
For a flight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Yeah, yeah, and the stakes were high because God forbid.
Speaker 8 (27:38):
Right, if you can't, I mean, if you can't get
some kind of monster the Metallica documentary downloaded in time,
my four year old loses it worse, little ars.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
But yes, you gotta download the stakes.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Are you don't know if you're gonna have Wi Fi
in the flight, you probably won't correct and if you're
not gonna have at the airport, so we don't do
it before you leave. I remember being like, I need
to have twenty hours of stuff.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's and it's just like all the
OJ trial that's all I watch it. You guys like games, now,
you meant that in a flirty way. You guys like games.
You guys like to play games.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Okay, So this game we invented, it's never been done before.
It's very unique. It's called bail or nail.
Speaker 8 (28:32):
Just quickly though, for the people at home, it's nine
to eleven right now, and we should just never forget that.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Okay, this game.
Speaker 8 (28:39):
Yes, great, I can tell you one bailing now okay, sorry.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Okay, yeah, so you say bail or noil, that's it.
You can elaborate, okay, if you feel like it.
Speaker 8 (28:56):
I won't be tied down by the rules of the game,
right wedding? Oh yeah, now most of the funerals. Now
blueberry picking? Do people blueberry pick? Is that a thing
that's like I thought that was just like little baby bears.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Mary did that for her birthday?
Speaker 8 (29:20):
Cart did you go blueberry pic.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Or blueberry picking with my mother? I have not done
it as a birthday because there's not blueberry sis.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
In l a.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
Well.
Speaker 8 (29:34):
Now, with the forced deportation of entire workforce that serves America,
blueberry picking could take on another Is this not is
that the vibe? Guys, it's not clear where I'm falling
on one of the great hot button issues of our time.
(29:56):
I've truly realized it with a tiny little bullshit shoke
from my scene of clear privilege. So uh yeah, nail
a litery pick.
Speaker 11 (30:08):
Those silent discos where people like dance with those headphones,
Oh that's a bail. I love dancing, but I do
not want to dance. I find that it's like people
walking around with a parrot.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
On their shoulder.
Speaker 12 (30:21):
It's like, oh this, oh this what am I dancing to?
Are they standing on pan?
Speaker 8 (30:32):
Just go beat Polly and some go bet like with
a couple of fucking uggs. You know.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
Yeah, I've been asked.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
To go You've been asked to go to him?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, okaying, I.
Speaker 8 (30:51):
Did it once. We did it for a big Mouth
premiere a party like a crew party, and it was
fun and I found myself interested in it.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Yeah, but it's like you want to take your work
home with you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 8 (31:06):
So social things are I mean that we create like
stuff like ax throwing because like, ultimately we're gonna run
out of things to say and do and figure out
ways to decide whether we want to fuck somebody or not,
and so stuff like ax throwing serves helps in that process.
Speaker 5 (31:26):
Kenny hits the target, you know, like and.
Speaker 8 (31:31):
So Yeah, it's the slides down.
Speaker 13 (31:41):
Flat slice flat, a flascid axe, a four PM.
Speaker 8 (31:53):
It depends on who the company is. If it's two people,
then I'm talking to you right now. It's a hard nail.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
Except I would yeah, except I would absolutely bail. Okay,
a bar crawl, bail.
Speaker 8 (32:11):
I've done a bar crawl in years. Day drinking is
It's been a long time since I had like a
day like that. You get real headache, you know what
I mean? You just hit a point you just can't.
It's like it's there's it's not it's not sustainable, And
like I don't like the like seven thirty like wasted
headache headachey, like turn in after like shoving a bunch
(32:34):
of fucking half toasted waffles to soak up, like the.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
Bad Daytime booth.
Speaker 8 (32:40):
So but I did meet uh, I met Dave Chang,
the chef on a pup crawl for one of my
friend's birthdays, like right out of college. And uh, that
was a that was a useful, that was a good,
that was the worthwhile.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
That's the bes thing's ever come out of pup crawl. Wow,
Sam's Club never been I would, I would. Don't you
need a car the Costco?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
But they're on the East Coast.
Speaker 8 (33:09):
Yeah, no, I've been to Costco a lot. But is
that part of Walmart?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Is that?
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Like Sam is one of the guys from Walmart? Sam, Walmart? Hi,
thanks for coming. Let me see.
Speaker 8 (33:32):
Plastic and curled in your wallet? The lamination coming off?
Speaker 5 (33:36):
Come on it? Okay?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Doctor's office?
Speaker 8 (33:40):
Oh uh nail, But I'll put it off. I won't
cancel it, but I will put off doctor's appointments because
my body is, you know, not not essential to my life.
Doctors or a doctor's orifice.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
Us, I will nail the doctor's orifice. Their choice.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Man.
Speaker 8 (34:16):
I went to Burning Man once, so I guess nail
I had. I was very It was definitely like a
punchline for me for many years. And I went once, uh,
and it was really actually pretty life changing. I ran
into the fire and no, I really it was a
very It was a weird pivotal time in my life.
(34:37):
I think I was just turning forty and I was
like really starting to ask big questions about where I
was in my life.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
And it was a real fun, kind of like bizarre,
uh experience that like I kind.
Speaker 8 (34:50):
Of would encourage anyone to do, even if you don't
like most of the things that Burning Man seems to
be about, it's ultimately like a fascinating experience and like
some great beautiful land art I saw. And if you
guys like drugs of any sort, there's so many to
choose from there.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
That's great.
Speaker 5 (35:12):
Yeah, So have you guys gone Burning Man?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Would never would rather skydive than though really you could
skydive into burning for really you can.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
That's what people will enter Burning Man through skydive chrome statue. Yeah,
does that.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Think like it's just miles of sand like nothingness.
Speaker 8 (35:35):
Yeah, Oh wasn't there mud like a couple of years
ago so much rain and that it turned into create
a crazy mudfest. But even that like is a nightmare
sort of when you're in the thing, like so you know,
when you're like walking in mud and then like you're
the bottom of your shoes, like every shoe becomes like
a hookah, like a six inch.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
Like mud hoka bottom. That was the vibe.
Speaker 8 (36:01):
But but I remember maybe maybe being on some uh
oucinogenics and looking at my hand against this like sand
the desert, uh, and I was like, my skin, I
have crazy skin.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
My skin felt great that whole week in this dry
desert heat.
Speaker 8 (36:25):
And I was like I looked at my hand, I
was like, I am a desert person.
Speaker 5 (36:33):
Swan boat rides. Uh, that's a bail? I think?
Speaker 8 (36:38):
Is that like a swam bar like in a like
in a in a pond in Boston.
Speaker 9 (36:44):
Oh, I've never done that. You have to know, I
mean I do. I I don't know. They're covered, Yeah
they are?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Are?
Speaker 5 (36:55):
They are? They covered induct shit Okay, covered.
Speaker 8 (36:58):
In but copy that it's pretty I would do it.
I mean, is that where you do you ride the
like is it like a wheel you.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Have to do it?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (37:06):
Yeah, yeah, I've been on but I mean I've taken
my like boy on like little rowboats and stuff like
that in a park and it's fun until he wants
he was like too young to understand what's going on,
crawl out.
Speaker 5 (37:21):
And it was like in Italy, so there wasn't like
life vest you.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
It was like very stressful. Mama, Mia, that's a dead baby.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Oh.
Speaker 8 (37:42):
I mean when I'm trying to get to an Armonic exchange.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
When I want to buy buy black and slate.
Speaker 8 (37:50):
Color colored clothing. I went to the Armani Exchange. I
meant to Beverly.
Speaker 5 (37:55):
Center once to shop one night. I was going night.
Speaker 8 (37:59):
Yeah, I was like, I was going to you guys,
don't go to the Beverly Center at night. Yeah, you
don't go to the East Song Laurron at seven five
at night to look around and not have any conception
how anyone buys anything at any of those stores.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
Like I've gotten in with the intention of I mean,
like I'm gonna go.
Speaker 8 (38:24):
I'm a successful actor and I'm gonna go buy a
fancy thing, and I cannot bring myself to buy any
The only thing I bought I went to Prada and
bought like a little like a reversible jacket because it
was too because it was two like, because.
Speaker 5 (38:40):
I could jackets. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (38:45):
So if you go to the Beverly Center, get yourself
over to Prada, get yourself at nine reversible bomber jacket
that you could have bought at fucking Sam's Club.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
A thirty three year old man's birthday party that the
chili is in Encino on December twenty.
Speaker 5 (39:09):
That's a hard nail. That sounds like a dream come true.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I'll send you the party, the scene of a crime.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
I'm gonna stick I'm gonna stick around.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah it shakes out.
Speaker 5 (39:23):
Yeah, I'm a nosy little neighbor. Or I'm hiding in
plain sight. Either way.
Speaker 7 (39:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:31):
The last thing I'm doing is running.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Couldn't have been that guy because that bomber jacket was bree.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
A movie theater with regular old seats.
Speaker 8 (39:45):
Oh oh that's a bummer. Yeah, that's a that's a fail.
That's a fail.
Speaker 5 (39:51):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Last one is shopping for a fun hat.
Speaker 5 (39:58):
What's a fun hat? You know?
Speaker 1 (40:00):
What a fun.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
Right? Well, you know, I don't know something with a
fun friends on it? Yeah, like no more, none of this,
no dead babies here.
Speaker 7 (40:15):
Uh No.
Speaker 8 (40:16):
I don't like shopping for fun hats, but I would
go shopping with you if you were like, hey, do
you want to go with me so that I can
go buy a fun hat?
Speaker 2 (40:26):
That's you're right, that is a fun I would.
Speaker 5 (40:28):
Be on board to be the the the sidekick to
a fun hat.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Which montage of fun hats?
Speaker 5 (40:38):
That's an a thing. I don't do.
Speaker 8 (40:40):
You guys ever go run errands with your friends? Do
you ever go on your friends? Aaron?
Speaker 3 (40:44):
I actually almost always need a friend like as support, right,
And I've gone on Aaron runs with friends like as
support for.
Speaker 5 (40:53):
Them and has how is it? Is it?
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Fun?
Speaker 5 (40:55):
Fun?
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Gab in the car they like go to the post
office and they come back in the car we keep talk.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I like that. I think that's sort
of more.
Speaker 8 (41:04):
I'd be more likely to go on a like a
post office from with a friend than for myself.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, And it's nice if the two of you both
need to like mutually do stuff like okay.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
Yeah, we're like, yeah, you're like I need to.
Speaker 8 (41:19):
I need I'm just trying to send this explosive through
the mail and I need to I need to double wrap.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Well, great, that was bailor.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
Now so there is there's a segment where we get
some some listener mail. All right, people people write in
and they either have like they have a tale about
being canceled on and they'd like us to weigh out
and waiting in on it.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
I just noticed by the way, I didn't see any
of the look at this.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, we didn't go to any of those things.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
It's very cool, Okay.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
In two thousand and six, I was in middle school
and I had a day with a girl.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
The only obvious choice was a movie, and Click was
out there.
Speaker 5 (42:09):
Yeah that was great.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
I had already seen it with some friends, but chose
that for the date. Regardless.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
I got stood up, so I ended up watching it
by myself. We rescheduled and chose to go see Click again.
I got stood up again, So I ended up watching
Click three times in the twice by myself.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
That they're actually not asking for any.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Of they wanted to get it out their chests, waited
to say.
Speaker 8 (42:40):
I think my advice would be go go check out
click again and see if it holds up.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Sixth grade, two thousand and six, middle school.
Speaker 5 (42:52):
Okay, that's too that's too early to be making plans anyway.
Speaker 8 (42:59):
Yeah, something's that other person's going through something and all
of their families going on.
Speaker 5 (43:06):
Someone who was.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Going on dates with girls to the movies in.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Middle school, I feel like probably had a lot going
on for them, and they were doing pretty well.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Yeah, so I really feel too bad about.
Speaker 4 (43:17):
Them to me, like, not like completely socially anoct at
that time.
Speaker 8 (43:22):
Is right to be able to like have the gumption
to ask someone on a date successfully?
Speaker 5 (43:27):
Yeah, Like, well it is not so successful. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
I went on a date to the movies when I
was in middle school and his babysitter came with them.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
Minding that parents.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
So I looked freaking cool.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
His babysittersund like three seats three rows behind us.
Speaker 8 (43:53):
The babysitter's name was Mary Kayla Torno.
Speaker 5 (44:01):
Yeah, do you remember what the movie?
Speaker 2 (44:05):
I don't remember the movie.
Speaker 5 (44:06):
It was made a sepper? Is that what was called? Yeah?
So I'm so proud.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
But does anyone have a question for Nick, like about
a plan or anything you want to them that they're
upset about like either a bus bail on you and
you want to call us about it right now?
Speaker 5 (44:32):
Anything else? Go ahead?
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Can you come up here?
Speaker 1 (44:35):
A let's give her her hands.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
Hi. I'm Lucy.
Speaker 4 (44:47):
So.
Speaker 14 (44:48):
A couple of years ago you asked me to interview
to your assistance. Mary interviewed before me, and then you
and your wife Emil and said never mind.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yes, So I just want to know, like what gets.
Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah, the the it was the ultimate canceled plan. The
truth is. The truth is we had met with Mary,
and we.
Speaker 8 (45:22):
Also knew that you guys have worked together on and
off stage.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
No I don't know where.
Speaker 8 (45:31):
And we thought, rather than interview you and then choose Mary,
better not to interview you take that fully off the
table and then choose Mary. Well, that's because I could
(45:52):
be on the same really smart. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad
we finally married that hatchet. Let's go act wrong sometimes.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
That actually is one of the most like sweet things
that ever happened.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Like you guys are like, we're good, we've met you
were Yeah.
Speaker 5 (46:15):
It just felt like you know, that's I mean, that's uh,
and we were right.
Speaker 8 (46:19):
It was such a it's such an intimate thing to
let someone into your life.
Speaker 5 (46:25):
Uh, and you were wonderful and now and now now
you're in it.
Speaker 8 (46:31):
Yeah, and Lucy and I started a production company.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Okay, anybody else, guys, anything you say it will be fun.
Speaker 8 (46:45):
I promise that I won't make fun of you directly.
I'll find a way to make you humorous without making the.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Expect of it.
Speaker 8 (46:50):
Yes, yeah, instead of hiring you, we knew we were
going to hire Lucy, So it's good.
Speaker 5 (47:07):
Yeah, it's gonna see.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
If anyone else almost got Is there someone else?
Speaker 1 (47:15):
I had a question.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
Yeah, my husband bailed on coming tonight, So what should
I tell him when I go home?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Like some spectacle.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
You guys are funny, obviously, but like, what else can
I say that he missed?
Speaker 5 (47:29):
Sure?
Speaker 8 (47:33):
Uh say that we talked exclusively about what happened for.
Speaker 5 (47:37):
Real during Don't Worry Darling.
Speaker 8 (47:53):
But then I said afterwards it's not safe for the podcast,
so it just stayed here.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I need to scrap the episode entirely.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
But we all know this is just kind of blown
by Nick. It's been a delight. I'm gonna be honest,
it's been a fucking chore for me.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 8 (48:21):
Oh man, what a fun premise for a show. You
guys are doing a great job. What a fun night,
and what a what a what a great audience.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah, this was this was perfect.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
This was perfect. Nick has has several things coming out. Yeah,
over the next few weeks, we have big mouths coming back.
Speaker 8 (48:42):
Taking There's a new show that I produced and directed
some of called Adults that's coming out on FX.
Speaker 5 (48:54):
And I don't know the official day. Put me and
Andrew Reynolds, this movie that we did together.
Speaker 8 (48:58):
I don't understand you will be coming out as well,
right around the same time. And uh yeah, so uh
don't look, don't watch any of my stuff. And then
over three weeks, just consume so much of my content
whever you're so sick of me. Then I'll go away
for a while and then.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
I'll come back and just fucking shove it down your throat.
Don't we all wish we could have gone out on that.
Don't worry, darling, we didn't want to end it.
Speaker 8 (49:34):
Plugs, baby, when I'm here for the fucking plugs.
Speaker 5 (49:41):
That's what I said when I went to Turkey.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
All right, serious canceling on this.
Speaker 8 (49:50):
Oh my god, I thought about it. I didn't I
rushed to put my kids to sleep and came over
here and what a what a delightful what a what
a delightful show, and what a playful night.
Speaker 5 (50:04):
It's great to great to be with. That's the thing.
Speaker 8 (50:06):
How often when you when you don't cancel and you
go through with it, are you do you regret it?
Speaker 5 (50:17):
Really? You'll be like, I shouldn't have gone out tonight.
Speaker 3 (50:20):
Yeah, sometimes because like the social anxiety that hits after
or just like oh, like I drove and parked and
then I had to get back and drive and park
again to get home.
Speaker 5 (50:37):
Yeah, there's okay, and that we should have ended the show.
But I think, yeah, I think it is situational and
it's the person. It's really who you're with.
Speaker 8 (50:46):
If that person, I mean, there's big old parties that
are gonna be Some people like those, some people don't.
Speaker 5 (50:50):
There's one on one hangs and you have.
Speaker 8 (50:52):
To decide who gives you energy and who drains you.
And sometimes you have to see the people that drain you.
And but sometimes you you'll be like I should I
don't want to do this, And then you park and
then you go in and you realize that you've been
friends with someone for a long.
Speaker 5 (51:05):
Time and their witness to your life.
Speaker 8 (51:07):
And you can't share who you are with that many people,
and so those moments can be really beautiful and energizing,
So embrace those when you when you have them.
Speaker 15 (51:18):
Hey, guys, you know, get up out of here safe.
(51:44):
Thank you much for making it out today.
Speaker 5 (51:47):
We love you. Thank you adjusted up in the booth.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Thank you for help down.
Speaker 5 (51:54):
The UCB getter of the.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Best our podcasts.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Our second season just started.
Speaker 4 (52:01):
Our our first episode came out last week and had
Lacey Mosley from Scam Godsend.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
It's a very funny episode.
Speaker 3 (52:06):
It's not you Too, Yes, Spotify, Apple, wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
We're around, Love you bye,
Hello, hoping to cancel your plans.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
This is a player in the studio, like, this is
not this is not.
Speaker 1 (00:56):
To make some noise if you've heard of this sofa
And that's the only reason.
Speaker 2 (01:07):
We're both hermits.
Speaker 1 (01:10):
Hermits.
Speaker 2 (01:10):
We like to be in our home.
Speaker 3 (01:12):
And I think if they're a friend of mine, which
all of you are, I cancel a.
Speaker 2 (01:17):
Lot, I cancel a lot.
Speaker 3 (01:20):
Yeah, And so we wanted to examine what that really
means in a podcast.
Speaker 2 (01:24):
Yeah.
Speaker 4 (01:24):
Yeah, So we we found a way to invite friends
to come on the show and then we could just
see them once in one like eight hour blocks and
then not leave the house for a.
Speaker 3 (01:35):
Month and we could like talk to them, catch up
and then that's it, and that's it.
Speaker 2 (01:39):
We don't have to see them again for another year.
Speaker 1 (01:41):
For another year, fuck it.
Speaker 3 (01:43):
Yeah, that's so it's a plan within a plan, and
plan is cancel your plans.
Speaker 4 (01:47):
Yeah, but this is different because this is a live
show and we have this audience here, and I feel
like we have to bring the razzle down. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (01:54):
We wanted to really pull out all the steps, huh.
Speaker 4 (01:57):
And so nothing gets an audience more thrilled then pre
written monologue jokes. This is This is a segment that
we like to call this week in canceled plans.
Speaker 3 (02:14):
Okay, I'm gonna start us off. Okay a friend, Oh yeah,
I should get my scarlete.
Speaker 1 (02:20):
Okay.
Speaker 2 (02:21):
A friend asked me to help her with a self
tape at ten pm this week?
Speaker 5 (02:25):
What are friends for?
Speaker 2 (02:26):
I replied, before shooting her with a gun.
Speaker 4 (02:31):
This week, I bravely agreed to meet up for coffee
with an acquaintance who wants to pursue comedy, wanted to
pick my brain.
Speaker 1 (02:38):
I arrived disappointed and confused to learn that I would
not be receiving a free lobotomy.
Speaker 2 (02:44):
I had a tender date cancel on me last minute this.
Speaker 6 (02:46):
Week, and I was pissed because I took the time
to shave my legs, pluck my brows, bleach my mustache,
bleach my asshole, bleach my taint, bleach my bones, and
wear a necklace.
Speaker 4 (03:01):
I recently avoided being selected for Jerry duty. The celebration
was short lived, as I was then quickly selected for
gay guy Jerry duty, which is, of course, officiating a
straight wedding.
Speaker 2 (03:13):
I bailed on a friend's baby shower this weekend because
I support.
Speaker 3 (03:17):
A woman's right to choose to not spend one hundred
dollars on a goddamn baby gift. I don't know that
kid yet. It hasn't come out. I don't know if
I'm gonna like it.
Speaker 4 (03:28):
You know, these days, it can be nearly impossible to
escape the shackles of the attention economy, which is what
I told Mary when I forgot to pick her up
from the airport because I was busy watching videos of
kinetic sand being cut with a knife.
Speaker 3 (03:44):
The other day, I was listening to a really great
book on tape while on my way to grab lunch
with a friend. I ended up canceling that lunch and
driving from Los Felis to Santa Monica just to stay
in the car longer and finish the book.
Speaker 2 (03:56):
When I realized I was an hour from home, I
got a hotel room for the night.
Speaker 5 (04:00):
I guess I.
Speaker 3 (04:01):
Live here now until someone invites me to brunch on
the East Side.
Speaker 1 (04:06):
To celebrate our anniversary. Last week, my boyfriend and I
went to Medieval Times. We were kicked out by order
of the king for butt chugging.
Speaker 4 (04:16):
Mead, Listen, if boof and wine is a crime, then
lock me in the stocks.
Speaker 5 (04:24):
Lord. That's what we are for you.
Speaker 1 (04:32):
Okay, So let's bring our guests out. It's a very
exciting time.
Speaker 4 (04:38):
This man needs no introduction, but we need you to
get up on your goddamn feet and please welcome Nick.
Speaker 7 (04:46):
Cray, this.
Speaker 2 (05:04):
Man.
Speaker 8 (05:05):
Thank you, Thank you for that forced standing up. I
really appreciate it.
Speaker 3 (05:14):
I think the biggest question on my mind, in everybody's mind,
is why didn't you cancel on this?
Speaker 5 (05:19):
It's a great question.
Speaker 1 (05:21):
Mary.
Speaker 5 (05:22):
The truth is, here's the truth. Should we just get
into it? Yeah, let's be real.
Speaker 8 (05:26):
Okay, Well, okay, So I think what really sells a show,
and what sells a vibe is honesty, is intimacy, is vulnerability,
and I think that's what we're all craving right now
more than anything. And so I wanted full disclosure. Mary
and I worked together for a number of years. I
(05:47):
was her assistant.
Speaker 2 (05:50):
I had to get done at the time and came
in part time.
Speaker 5 (05:54):
Yeah.
Speaker 8 (05:55):
It was not a full time gig at first, but
then but then over time, as Mary built trust with me,
I got access to more of her passwords, family's, social security,
fuck you.
Speaker 5 (06:13):
Opposite day, Mary was my sister. I was she good,
She was amazing. Mary is an amazing person. Fine sister, No,
(06:36):
she was. She was an awesome.
Speaker 8 (06:39):
Assistant because we really like well, like she was working
for me and my family and like incredibly the probably
one of the most intimate things you can do is
like enter someone's home. Was a lot and oftentimes without
asking an oftentimes with a camera. And I feel now
(07:00):
looking back, you didn't need all those like me in
the bath stuff. But you said, you said that was
the new thing to get for American airlines, to get
them people on fly or sort of a semi nude
in the bathroom. And I just push through the boundaries
too fast.
Speaker 1 (07:18):
No, that was perfect.
Speaker 3 (07:19):
We wanted to like talk, we talked about backstage and
to tell people.
Speaker 8 (07:23):
Yeah, Mary probably knows more about my relationship to canceling
plans than most people.
Speaker 1 (07:30):
Yeah.
Speaker 3 (07:30):
And I'll say that I think Nick can say.
Speaker 8 (07:33):
No more, say a lot when I can say no more,
or I can say no.
Speaker 2 (07:38):
I think you're good.
Speaker 3 (07:39):
We're actually going to escort you off stage. I think
that you say yes to a lot of things, including this,
which is incredible. But you love you love friendship, and
you love concerts and you love joy.
Speaker 5 (07:54):
Yeah, and you will go.
Speaker 2 (07:55):
For like twelve hours on set to like a friend's show. Yeah,
and I'm like, I look your calendar, like, what the
heck is he doing?
Speaker 1 (08:02):
I would not do that.
Speaker 8 (08:04):
I live my life like if it's in my calendar.
For the most part, I do it, like it, but it.
Speaker 5 (08:10):
Has to make it to the calendar.
Speaker 1 (08:13):
Is there a strong barrier to the calendar?
Speaker 5 (08:15):
No, I mean it's I'll look it up here anybody.
Speaker 8 (08:18):
If anybody wants, we'll get you guys to share the
share in the end of the eye cloud, We'll get
you guys in there. But I really live that way,
and I don't. I don't cancel very much at all.
Speaker 1 (08:29):
No.
Speaker 3 (08:30):
I actually which made my life as your assistant very
easy because I never had to be like, it's not coming,
oh interesting, Yeah, it almost always went and you showed
up on time.
Speaker 8 (08:39):
I I find it. I find canceling much more stressful.
I find the the the energy spent. I mean, the
issue is the things that, like the energy spent on
canceling or wiggling out of things feels more draining than
actually doing it. And for the most part, those things
(09:02):
I personally, I think I'm an extrovert, so I get.
Speaker 1 (09:07):
Energy from it.
Speaker 8 (09:07):
I think a lot of people don't get energy from things,
and so they cancel.
Speaker 5 (09:11):
Is that what's going on with you, guys?
Speaker 3 (09:13):
Yeah, I'm an extroverted introvert.
Speaker 5 (09:18):
Okay, speak to that more please.
Speaker 2 (09:22):
I have a really great personality.
Speaker 5 (09:26):
It's absolutely honestly, you guys. It sounds like she's joking,
but she does.
Speaker 3 (09:31):
I often like hurry the favor of a lot of
people around me, and then they want me to do
stuff with them.
Speaker 5 (09:37):
Sure will.
Speaker 3 (09:38):
You seem like a nice person right on the outside,
it's all smiles and it's nice.
Speaker 2 (09:44):
I really get most of my energy from being alone.
Speaker 3 (09:47):
So then and my dad is like this, Like my
dad will go to a wedding, people will be like,
oh my god, one is Dave Ryan.
Speaker 2 (09:52):
What am I going to see him again?
Speaker 5 (09:54):
Everybody?
Speaker 2 (09:57):
And then my Mom's like, You're never going to see
him again.
Speaker 5 (09:59):
He hates people.
Speaker 2 (10:00):
He doesn't like you, so just.
Speaker 3 (10:03):
And I'm not quite like that, But like I am
my energy from being alone.
Speaker 5 (10:06):
I think, what about you?
Speaker 4 (10:08):
There's no greater thrill in life to me than someone
telling me that they want to cancel.
Speaker 1 (10:15):
Sure, And I'm like, what do you do? I'm already
I'm already there, brother, Like.
Speaker 5 (10:20):
A few free hours that you didn't know you were
going to have.
Speaker 1 (10:23):
Absolutely, I'm like, what can I do?
Speaker 5 (10:25):
How can I How do you feel that time?
Speaker 3 (10:27):
Oh?
Speaker 5 (10:28):
Ship?
Speaker 1 (10:28):
Well, I love I love doing great. Yeah, I love bro.
Speaker 5 (10:33):
Come on over any time.
Speaker 1 (10:36):
I love it. I love it because it's mostly not
doing anything.
Speaker 4 (10:39):
You just put a thing in, You put it in,
and then you just got to sit there and you're like,
I'm really doing.
Speaker 5 (10:44):
Something right laun in your apartment? No, do you see?
Speaker 3 (10:47):
I hate doing the logic because it's not in my apartment.
In my apartment I do all the time.
Speaker 1 (10:51):
Yes.
Speaker 4 (10:52):
I also when I get this the clothes out of
the dryer and I fold the clothes, I put the
hot sweatpants on my arm to close with them.
Speaker 5 (11:01):
It's a little cozy, a little cozy the Fellas. Fellas.
Speaker 8 (11:05):
You know how when your arm your forums get cold.
So you'll you'll fold your laundry and watch your stories.
Speaker 5 (11:13):
Yeah, I watch my story. Yeah. I watched a lot
of Buffy the Vampires.
Speaker 1 (11:17):
Yeah, with sweatpants on my Yeah.
Speaker 5 (11:20):
Is there a new Buffy the Vampire Slayer? I don't know.
Speaker 2 (11:23):
I think it.
Speaker 8 (11:24):
Happened, really, I genuinely was wondering Geller's gonna kill you?
Speaker 5 (11:34):
At night as a vamp?
Speaker 8 (11:35):
Does she kill I've never watched fucking men.
Speaker 2 (11:41):
I watched kill the vampires.
Speaker 5 (11:44):
She's okay, yeah, now it makes more sense.
Speaker 4 (11:49):
So we have forty forty five more minutes of just
talking about Buffy.
Speaker 8 (11:53):
Honestly, that's great. I'm that's that's what I came here,
That's why I didn't cancel. But no, I think I
I do get energized, but I think I assume everyone
could keep up at my pace.
Speaker 5 (12:05):
Sure, and I don't think that's funny or conversation. No, no, I.
Speaker 8 (12:09):
Mean, you know, like coke, like everybody's on the same
page as ye yeah, No, No, I mean like like
I don't now having a family, not everybody can keep
up at the pace of the way I want to,
like the way I tend to move through the world.
And when you partner with someone, you have to take
that into account. And certain times you realize, like, oh,
(12:33):
it's it's situational where you want like your time alone
and what feels draining, you know.
Speaker 5 (12:37):
But I don't honestly remember the.
Speaker 8 (12:38):
Last time I said that I was going to do
something and then didn't go do it.
Speaker 2 (12:43):
But do you feel that dread when you're driving there.
Speaker 8 (12:48):
Like I'm more driven by I'm more driven by guilt
than dread. So the power of I'm going to someone,
I'm disappointing someone, I'm not showing up for someone is
a more potent toxic internal engine.
Speaker 1 (13:06):
Let me ask you something, Yeah, what are you running from?
Speaker 8 (13:08):
Oh, sister, you have no idea.
Speaker 5 (13:13):
Mary knows.
Speaker 8 (13:14):
Actually, Mary's on top of all of my lawsuits right now,
She's across everything. She's across. The guilt's really guilt. I'm
not running, I'm running. I think it's just like I
come from a big family. There was expectations about showing
up for my family and vice versa, and so I
(13:34):
think that has carried over to the expectation that I
will show up for uh friends or family or things
I don't really have dread. It's not that's not what
I experience. I have experienced regret and remorse after the experience,
you know, like I'm like, oh, I shouldn't have said
or done that.
Speaker 2 (13:54):
Oh, like the social anxiety of like what I said.
Speaker 8 (13:57):
Yeah, it's more of like a post mortem that that
I have the dread.
Speaker 3 (14:02):
Around versus the I'm so jealous of coupled people who
can like because I'm single. I am so jealous of
Like they ever talk about the party.
Speaker 1 (14:15):
On the drive home?
Speaker 5 (14:16):
Uh huh yeah do you guys? Do?
Speaker 1 (14:20):
I love talking about it.
Speaker 4 (14:21):
I love drive home rundown of you know, now that
I think of it, It's mostly just me saying all
the ways I was weird and I wish I did.
I wish I could sit here and say that, like
we get in there, we really are like that person's
weird and bad.
Speaker 1 (14:35):
But it's just me saying that I think I'm weird
in that.
Speaker 8 (14:39):
Does your partner feels like, oh, he thinks I'm great
and he's wrong.
Speaker 1 (14:45):
He's a sweetheart, He's a perfect angel if he does
nothing wrong?
Speaker 5 (14:47):
But does he gossip on the way? Does he want
a gossip?
Speaker 4 (14:50):
He's just like he was raised Mormon, so he I
think has like a very optimistic look when it comes
to people.
Speaker 1 (14:57):
Yeah, generally pleasant people gravitate towards him.
Speaker 5 (15:00):
Sure. Yeah, that's amazing. When your energy is clean, like yeah.
Speaker 8 (15:05):
Yeah, yeah, lurk behind yeah good, good good, that's important.
Speaker 1 (15:11):
Do you have like a download after you?
Speaker 3 (15:13):
Uh?
Speaker 5 (15:15):
We do. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (15:16):
We also have found where we socialize together and we're
now beginning to be at a park point where it's like,
I'm gonna go do this thing because like this will
be either like draining or not that interesting for you,
and I'll go be like a social animal for like
two to three hours and like be a fully like
I will I really like go into a bit of
(15:38):
a flow state where I kind of like surf uh
an evening with both incredibly uh like surface level small
talk mixed with like weirdly deep immediate connection and then
dispersal to the next thing.
Speaker 1 (16:00):
Do you think time is linear? And also.
Speaker 3 (16:04):
I don't think that people must leave that interaction with
you like, oh my god, he saw he saw me,
like I want to see him again.
Speaker 8 (16:11):
I don't know, because I then on the drive home,
I'm like, oh, that person saw me looking away at
another person in the middle of that story, or why
did I share that intimacy with that person because they
don't want that from me, or you know whatever, we
just you know, I kind of critique on the way home.
So yeah, I think, but I but for the most part,
(16:33):
by the time it's time for the next interaction, I've
I've I've just pushed that down in order.
Speaker 3 (16:40):
Do you think that's because you're a performer too that
you're going to fat Yeah, I think so probably.
Speaker 5 (16:43):
Yeah, I mean I think it's like, uh.
Speaker 8 (16:46):
You know know, party is no different than this, So
I don't know. But but then there's like other appointments, right,
it's not just parties.
Speaker 5 (16:57):
There's stuff all day.
Speaker 1 (16:58):
Right.
Speaker 2 (16:58):
Do you try to make your therapist that?
Speaker 5 (17:00):
No.
Speaker 8 (17:02):
Every once in a while, I'll try to make my
therapist live, But for the most part, I really I
go in there, I got we gotta get to we
got gotta get that to work. But I also try
not to charm her, overtly charm her, because it feels count,
it feels counterproductive to to do what I do to
her what I would do to everyone else.
Speaker 9 (17:22):
Yeah, because I'm paying, I'm paying to figure out why
I need to incessantly charm people.
Speaker 8 (17:30):
I don't need to charm this person. But then I also,
you don't want to charm her. Yeah, my therapist looks
a lot like Francis McDermott.
Speaker 2 (17:42):
Would scare me.
Speaker 5 (17:43):
I did it. So this is many years ago now.
Speaker 8 (17:49):
We hosted the Independent Spirit Awards the year film Independent,
the year that she for Anyone for three billboards out
but but and and she won. That day we did
a couple jokes about her, and they were fine. They
were not mean.
Speaker 5 (18:04):
It was just like, you do not want to cut
Freendy McDorman in line.
Speaker 8 (18:08):
And and then I saw her that night at a
party and she was trying to leave like a fancy
hollywy party and chant her jacket over her head and uh,
on the way out, I go Franny, Franny, and she
looks over. I'm exit hosted the show that day. So
I was feeling very like confident, like she's got to
talk to me. And she stops and she looks at me.
(18:28):
She goes, oh, yes, hi, And I said, I got
to tell you you look so much like my therapist.
And she goes, okay, let's do the work. And she
fully was like, looked at me, and she goes, the
most powerful thing you can do is say no, so wow, unprovoked, unprovoked,
(18:50):
but fucking talking about canceling plans, you know what I mean.
And I was like okay, and then she goes, have
you met my husband. I'm like, like, I've not met
one of the Coen brothers.
Speaker 10 (19:02):
No, I think Ethan anyway, So she's married to one
of them, and I was a fan of his that like,
so I would tell that story at a party and
then on the way home, I'd be like, why did
I that story?
Speaker 8 (19:20):
But on a live show in front of all these
wonderful people that will live forever. On a podcast, I
have even greater regrets.
Speaker 3 (19:31):
Like we've been doing these podcasts for almost a year,
and people leave the studio like sometimes be like I
shouldn't have said that, and they don't really say anything
like to I think it's telling a podcast.
Speaker 8 (19:42):
Yeah, and I think you're talking about your canceling plans.
You're getting to some core version of who you are.
Like the whole interesting thing is being like, well, the
reason I'm canceling plants because I do this, for the
reason I don't cancel plans because I'm I'm this is
my weird way.
Speaker 5 (19:54):
Moving through the earth, and so yeah, just a little vulnerable.
That's the whole point.
Speaker 4 (19:58):
Even when we started the first thing, we were like,
this is insane to even have a conversation that's just
about something like this with a third party of the
audience there. It was so like how do we And
then we can go and watch back what we were
saying and doing, and we were like, we look and
sound insane.
Speaker 1 (20:16):
I don't know.
Speaker 3 (20:17):
The first time we recorded the pod, I said this
horrible story about someone in my family, and we watched
it back and I was like, oh my god, you.
Speaker 2 (20:25):
Have to cut that whole thing. I should have never
said that about family.
Speaker 5 (20:34):
True in your family.
Speaker 1 (20:37):
I was just like, well, why.
Speaker 2 (20:38):
Did I say that? But my mom does this, and
I think.
Speaker 3 (20:41):
I get it from her, or when I'm nervous, I'll say,
like the worst possible.
Speaker 5 (20:45):
Thing is sure.
Speaker 8 (20:47):
Yeah, it's so funny to hear that you cancel plans,
that you're someone who does that, because like, because we
work together, because you work for me, Really you could
never really cancel your plenty Yeah, So like I had
no I had did not have that experience of you
at all.
Speaker 3 (21:01):
So like when anyone in this audience, they probably very
well I have canceled on them, like at least fifteen.
Speaker 8 (21:07):
Really are they like? Is it medical excuses? Do you
know you're giving legitimate when you're giving your canceling plans?
As everyone is it understood that you're.
Speaker 2 (21:16):
Sometimes it's medical.
Speaker 3 (21:18):
I recently got diagnosed with like a thyroid thing, and
I was so excited to be like, mother, Yeah, I
told you I was tired.
Speaker 5 (21:25):
Yeah, And now.
Speaker 2 (21:27):
My doctor said that it's true that I'm extra tired
than I like almost shot.
Speaker 8 (21:34):
In my book test really for you, yeah, everybody, everyone,
not just people who you're friends with.
Speaker 2 (21:42):
No, there's anyone everyone will you want to see my
thy right now?
Speaker 3 (21:48):
But Kyle cancels in a different way than me.
Speaker 2 (21:51):
But I don't know how.
Speaker 8 (21:52):
It's just well, I'm are you conscious of your canceling
for a bullshit reason?
Speaker 5 (21:58):
Do you convince yourself otherwise? Oh, that's a good question.
Speaker 1 (22:02):
I think it's a mix of ball. Sometimes.
Speaker 4 (22:04):
I think I'm pretty upfront about like, hey, listen, it's
not happening for me. I just I finally have a
date to myself. And when I made this plan with you,
I was deeply caffeinated. I was like, and you know,
when you're in like it's it's one of those those
weeks where you're really on fire and I'm going to
meet seven fronts for coffee. And then while you're doing that,
(22:26):
you're like, well, I should just text everybody and be like,
I haven't seen you in everyone.
Speaker 1 (22:31):
And then when when the time comes and I have to,
you know, pay the toll.
Speaker 4 (22:35):
It's just sort of me sending a message saying Hey, listen,
let's kick this down the road.
Speaker 8 (22:41):
So the next time I'm caffeinated, yeah, I haven't had
a coffee.
Speaker 1 (22:45):
But also, yeah, I can really convince myself.
Speaker 8 (22:48):
That sometimes the pleasure is like I need to let
me go get hopped up on some coffee.
Speaker 4 (22:54):
Also, the act of making the pin makes me feel
like I checked in with the friends. Yeah, and I'm like, hey, listen,
I do intend to.
Speaker 1 (23:00):
See you, and our friendship is important.
Speaker 5 (23:02):
Sure, goodbye.
Speaker 8 (23:03):
That's like canceling you last minute, and you feel the opposite.
Speaker 3 (23:06):
Yeah, I would say this is so fucked up.
Speaker 2 (23:10):
But I'm more of a words of affirmation than quality time.
So firm I want to see you. I don't necessarily
have to see you.
Speaker 8 (23:19):
But the act of saying out loud I want to
see you is your move language.
Speaker 5 (23:24):
Yes, absolutely so if I make a plan with you,
just that's that's what's important.
Speaker 2 (23:28):
Yeah, that says it.
Speaker 8 (23:32):
Versus actually the quality time of Yeah.
Speaker 4 (23:35):
If you want to see Mary, you have to just
schedule an early dinner with her.
Speaker 1 (23:39):
Yeah, you have this if she If.
Speaker 4 (23:40):
You come to Mary and you're like, what are you
doing at four thirty pm?
Speaker 1 (23:45):
Do you want to go to Taos? She's there I
have done fo.
Speaker 5 (23:51):
Yeah we went.
Speaker 8 (23:52):
That feels right, That feels like the right time of day.
I have been there. Yeah, I had a three forty
five dinner. That feels right. Tamo Shanter to have it
a four thirty dinner, that feels right.
Speaker 2 (24:05):
Yeah, we were there with like exclusively.
Speaker 8 (24:07):
I was gonna say, like the elderly people who were,
like Tamo Shanters, the finest restaurant in all of Los Angeles,
they're eating at four thirty mashed potatoes and meat.
Speaker 5 (24:18):
Yeah, there's like weird. You know what's a fucking joke?
Is Prime Rib?
Speaker 8 (24:21):
What a disgusting floppy meat? Anybody thinking of prime Rib
is worth eating? It's a fucking joke. It's floppy, pink,
wet meat, and nobody should eat it.
Speaker 5 (24:32):
It's old food. It's from the past. Get gone, Get
lost Prime Rib.
Speaker 2 (24:40):
This this podcast is actually sponsored Oh no.
Speaker 8 (24:43):
Prime Lowries sponsored by Lowries Prime, the restaurant that was
assault first and now it's a restaurant.
Speaker 5 (24:57):
You guys, are you up for like a Benny Hannah? Like,
if there's like a.
Speaker 4 (25:01):
Baby that makes me so nervous, I'm afraid they're gonna
ask something of me and I'm afraid they'll be like, what, I'm.
Speaker 1 (25:07):
Gonna squirt it in your mouth and it misses me
and then I look like a fool.
Speaker 5 (25:10):
You know, they ask you to put a shrimp tailing
or your throat.
Speaker 1 (25:17):
Exactly what I'm afraid.
Speaker 5 (25:18):
Yeah, buddy joined the club.
Speaker 3 (25:22):
Where they're showing like babies at Benny Hug and they
like the Yeah, I think it's awful.
Speaker 5 (25:31):
Yeah, but baby meat is so tender, so I slice
it right there and I put it out there delictenos.
Speaker 1 (25:42):
How do you feel WoT babies in restaurants in general?
Speaker 8 (25:45):
Well, now that I have babies in restaurants, I yeah,
so you guys don't know.
Speaker 5 (25:51):
I'm sorry.
Speaker 8 (25:52):
That's I guess I should announce that officially babies and
restaurants has been picked up. There was comedians, a cars,
get a coffee. Now I've just got babies and restaurants
spilling sugar packets. And I had my baby in a
restaurant today. I don't it's like a I mean, it's
(26:15):
it's a nightmare to be actively a part of the.
Speaker 5 (26:19):
People with the babies. And when you don't have the babies,
you you you're hoping not to have babies.
Speaker 8 (26:24):
There so as to give you a fraction, just a
sliver of a moment to feel of peace.
Speaker 5 (26:31):
It's like hotels that don't allow children.
Speaker 8 (26:34):
There's like certain hotels that don't allow children under twelve,
and my wife gets so mad about it because it
feels like discrimination. I'm like, no, this is awesome, and
we have to figure out a time when we can
go to that place without our children.
Speaker 5 (26:49):
That will be a delight. So it's okay.
Speaker 8 (26:52):
It's okay to discriminate against having children in certain spaces.
Speaker 5 (26:55):
As someone with children, what's.
Speaker 2 (26:57):
Worse your kids? Your kids in a restaurant.
Speaker 8 (27:00):
It depends on age, Like once your kid, Once your
kid can really get sucked into an iPad and forget
that everything else exists. Flights are easy until then they
move around constantly. Yeah, and restaurants. I honestly don't endeavor
to have children. I took my took one of my
little little one to a restaurants in It was a delight.
Speaker 5 (27:19):
But it was like an empty brunch. Yeah, little date,
that's cute. Yeah, really, it was a delight.
Speaker 3 (27:26):
I like you, and I have frantically been like downloading
movies for one.
Speaker 5 (27:31):
For a flight. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (27:34):
Yeah, yeah, and the stakes were high because God forbid.
Speaker 8 (27:38):
Right, if you can't, I mean, if you can't get
some kind of monster the Metallica documentary downloaded in time,
my four year old loses it worse, little ars.
Speaker 5 (27:52):
But yes, you gotta download the stakes.
Speaker 3 (27:54):
Are you don't know if you're gonna have Wi Fi
in the flight, you probably won't correct and if you're
not gonna have at the airport, so we don't do
it before you leave. I remember being like, I need
to have twenty hours of stuff.
Speaker 5 (28:04):
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's and it's just like all the
OJ trial that's all I watch it. You guys like games, now,
you meant that in a flirty way. You guys like games.
You guys like to play games.
Speaker 2 (28:25):
Okay, So this game we invented, it's never been done before.
It's very unique. It's called bail or nail.
Speaker 8 (28:32):
Just quickly though, for the people at home, it's nine
to eleven right now, and we should just never forget that.
Speaker 5 (28:36):
Okay, this game.
Speaker 8 (28:39):
Yes, great, I can tell you one bailing now okay, sorry.
Speaker 3 (28:50):
Okay, yeah, so you say bail or noil, that's it.
You can elaborate, okay, if you feel like it.
Speaker 8 (28:56):
I won't be tied down by the rules of the game,
right wedding? Oh yeah, now most of the funerals. Now
blueberry picking? Do people blueberry pick? Is that a thing
that's like I thought that was just like little baby bears.
Speaker 1 (29:19):
Mary did that for her birthday?
Speaker 8 (29:20):
Cart did you go blueberry pic.
Speaker 3 (29:28):
Or blueberry picking with my mother? I have not done
it as a birthday because there's not blueberry sis.
Speaker 1 (29:33):
In l a.
Speaker 5 (29:34):
Well.
Speaker 8 (29:34):
Now, with the forced deportation of entire workforce that serves America,
blueberry picking could take on another Is this not is
that the vibe? Guys, it's not clear where I'm falling
on one of the great hot button issues of our time.
(29:56):
I've truly realized it with a tiny little bullshit shoke
from my scene of clear privilege. So uh yeah, nail
a litery pick.
Speaker 11 (30:08):
Those silent discos where people like dance with those headphones,
Oh that's a bail. I love dancing, but I do
not want to dance. I find that it's like people
walking around with a parrot.
Speaker 5 (30:19):
On their shoulder.
Speaker 12 (30:21):
It's like, oh this, oh this what am I dancing to?
Are they standing on pan?
Speaker 8 (30:32):
Just go beat Polly and some go bet like with
a couple of fucking uggs. You know.
Speaker 6 (30:43):
Yeah, I've been asked.
Speaker 5 (30:46):
To go You've been asked to go to him?
Speaker 2 (30:48):
Yeah, okaying, I.
Speaker 8 (30:51):
Did it once. We did it for a big Mouth
premiere a party like a crew party, and it was
fun and I found myself interested in it.
Speaker 5 (31:03):
Yeah, but it's like you want to take your work
home with you, you know what I mean.
Speaker 8 (31:06):
So social things are I mean that we create like
stuff like ax throwing because like, ultimately we're gonna run
out of things to say and do and figure out
ways to decide whether we want to fuck somebody or not,
and so stuff like ax throwing serves helps in that process.
Speaker 5 (31:26):
Kenny hits the target, you know, like and.
Speaker 8 (31:31):
So Yeah, it's the slides down.
Speaker 13 (31:41):
Flat slice flat, a flascid axe, a four PM.
Speaker 8 (31:53):
It depends on who the company is. If it's two people,
then I'm talking to you right now. It's a hard nail.
Speaker 5 (32:01):
Except I would yeah, except I would absolutely bail. Okay,
a bar crawl, bail.
Speaker 8 (32:11):
I've done a bar crawl in years. Day drinking is
It's been a long time since I had like a
day like that. You get real headache, you know what
I mean? You just hit a point you just can't.
It's like it's there's it's not it's not sustainable, And
like I don't like the like seven thirty like wasted
headache headachey, like turn in after like shoving a bunch
(32:34):
of fucking half toasted waffles to soak up, like the.
Speaker 5 (32:39):
Bad Daytime booth.
Speaker 8 (32:40):
So but I did meet uh, I met Dave Chang,
the chef on a pup crawl for one of my
friend's birthdays, like right out of college. And uh, that
was a that was a useful, that was a good,
that was the worthwhile.
Speaker 5 (32:56):
That's the bes thing's ever come out of pup crawl. Wow,
Sam's Club never been I would, I would. Don't you
need a car the Costco?
Speaker 2 (33:07):
But they're on the East Coast.
Speaker 8 (33:09):
Yeah, no, I've been to Costco a lot. But is
that part of Walmart?
Speaker 1 (33:16):
Is that?
Speaker 5 (33:17):
Like Sam is one of the guys from Walmart? Sam, Walmart? Hi,
thanks for coming. Let me see.
Speaker 8 (33:32):
Plastic and curled in your wallet? The lamination coming off?
Speaker 5 (33:36):
Come on it? Okay?
Speaker 2 (33:38):
Doctor's office?
Speaker 8 (33:40):
Oh uh nail, But I'll put it off. I won't
cancel it, but I will put off doctor's appointments because
my body is, you know, not not essential to my life.
Doctors or a doctor's orifice.
Speaker 5 (34:04):
Us, I will nail the doctor's orifice. Their choice.
Speaker 2 (34:16):
Man.
Speaker 8 (34:16):
I went to Burning Man once, so I guess nail
I had. I was very It was definitely like a
punchline for me for many years. And I went once, uh,
and it was really actually pretty life changing. I ran
into the fire and no, I really it was a
very It was a weird pivotal time in my life.
(34:37):
I think I was just turning forty and I was
like really starting to ask big questions about where I
was in my life.
Speaker 5 (34:43):
And it was a real fun, kind of like bizarre,
uh experience that like I kind.
Speaker 8 (34:50):
Of would encourage anyone to do, even if you don't
like most of the things that Burning Man seems to
be about, it's ultimately like a fascinating experience and like
some great beautiful land art I saw. And if you
guys like drugs of any sort, there's so many to
choose from there.
Speaker 2 (35:12):
That's great.
Speaker 5 (35:12):
Yeah, So have you guys gone Burning Man?
Speaker 3 (35:14):
Would never would rather skydive than though really you could
skydive into burning for really you can.
Speaker 5 (35:22):
That's what people will enter Burning Man through skydive chrome statue. Yeah,
does that.
Speaker 3 (35:31):
Think like it's just miles of sand like nothingness.
Speaker 8 (35:35):
Yeah, Oh wasn't there mud like a couple of years
ago so much rain and that it turned into create
a crazy mudfest. But even that like is a nightmare
sort of when you're in the thing, like so you know,
when you're like walking in mud and then like you're
the bottom of your shoes, like every shoe becomes like
a hookah, like a six inch.
Speaker 5 (35:57):
Like mud hoka bottom. That was the vibe.
Speaker 8 (36:01):
But but I remember maybe maybe being on some uh
oucinogenics and looking at my hand against this like sand
the desert, uh, and I was like, my skin, I
have crazy skin.
Speaker 5 (36:20):
My skin felt great that whole week in this dry
desert heat.
Speaker 8 (36:25):
And I was like I looked at my hand, I
was like, I am a desert person.
Speaker 5 (36:33):
Swan boat rides. Uh, that's a bail? I think?
Speaker 8 (36:38):
Is that like a swam bar like in a like
in a in a pond in Boston.
Speaker 9 (36:44):
Oh, I've never done that. You have to know, I
mean I do. I I don't know. They're covered, Yeah
they are?
Speaker 1 (36:55):
Are?
Speaker 5 (36:55):
They are? They covered induct shit Okay, covered.
Speaker 8 (36:58):
In but copy that it's pretty I would do it.
I mean, is that where you do you ride the
like is it like a wheel you.
Speaker 1 (37:04):
Have to do it?
Speaker 5 (37:05):
Yeah?
Speaker 8 (37:06):
Yeah, yeah, I've been on but I mean I've taken
my like boy on like little rowboats and stuff like
that in a park and it's fun until he wants
he was like too young to understand what's going on,
crawl out.
Speaker 5 (37:21):
And it was like in Italy, so there wasn't like
life vest you.
Speaker 1 (37:24):
Know what I mean.
Speaker 5 (37:24):
It was like very stressful. Mama, Mia, that's a dead baby.
Speaker 3 (37:40):
Oh.
Speaker 8 (37:42):
I mean when I'm trying to get to an Armonic exchange.
Speaker 1 (37:47):
When I want to buy buy black and slate.
Speaker 8 (37:50):
Color colored clothing. I went to the Armani Exchange. I
meant to Beverly.
Speaker 5 (37:55):
Center once to shop one night. I was going night.
Speaker 8 (37:59):
Yeah, I was like, I was going to you guys,
don't go to the Beverly Center at night. Yeah, you
don't go to the East Song Laurron at seven five
at night to look around and not have any conception
how anyone buys anything at any of those stores.
Speaker 5 (38:21):
Like I've gotten in with the intention of I mean,
like I'm gonna go.
Speaker 8 (38:24):
I'm a successful actor and I'm gonna go buy a
fancy thing, and I cannot bring myself to buy any
The only thing I bought I went to Prada and
bought like a little like a reversible jacket because it
was too because it was two like, because.
Speaker 5 (38:40):
I could jackets. Yeah.
Speaker 8 (38:45):
So if you go to the Beverly Center, get yourself
over to Prada, get yourself at nine reversible bomber jacket
that you could have bought at fucking Sam's Club.
Speaker 4 (39:00):
A thirty three year old man's birthday party that the
chili is in Encino on December twenty.
Speaker 5 (39:09):
That's a hard nail. That sounds like a dream come true.
Speaker 3 (39:12):
I'll send you the party, the scene of a crime.
Speaker 5 (39:19):
I'm gonna stick I'm gonna stick around.
Speaker 1 (39:23):
Yeah it shakes out.
Speaker 5 (39:23):
Yeah, I'm a nosy little neighbor. Or I'm hiding in
plain sight. Either way.
Speaker 7 (39:31):
Yeah.
Speaker 5 (39:31):
The last thing I'm doing is running.
Speaker 4 (39:34):
Couldn't have been that guy because that bomber jacket was bree.
Speaker 1 (39:43):
A movie theater with regular old seats.
Speaker 8 (39:45):
Oh oh that's a bummer. Yeah, that's a that's a fail.
That's a fail.
Speaker 5 (39:51):
Okay.
Speaker 3 (39:52):
Last one is shopping for a fun hat.
Speaker 5 (39:58):
What's a fun hat? You know?
Speaker 1 (40:00):
What a fun.
Speaker 5 (40:03):
Right? Well, you know, I don't know something with a
fun friends on it? Yeah, like no more, none of this,
no dead babies here.
Speaker 7 (40:15):
Uh No.
Speaker 8 (40:16):
I don't like shopping for fun hats, but I would
go shopping with you if you were like, hey, do
you want to go with me so that I can
go buy a fun hat?
Speaker 2 (40:26):
That's you're right, that is a fun I would.
Speaker 5 (40:28):
Be on board to be the the the sidekick to
a fun hat.
Speaker 1 (40:35):
Which montage of fun hats?
Speaker 5 (40:38):
That's an a thing. I don't do.
Speaker 8 (40:40):
You guys ever go run errands with your friends? Do
you ever go on your friends? Aaron?
Speaker 3 (40:44):
I actually almost always need a friend like as support, right,
And I've gone on Aaron runs with friends like as
support for.
Speaker 5 (40:53):
Them and has how is it? Is it?
Speaker 1 (40:55):
Fun?
Speaker 5 (40:55):
Fun?
Speaker 3 (40:56):
Gab in the car they like go to the post
office and they come back in the car we keep talk.
Speaker 5 (41:00):
Yeah yeah, yeah, I like that. I think that's sort
of more.
Speaker 8 (41:04):
I'd be more likely to go on a like a
post office from with a friend than for myself.
Speaker 2 (41:10):
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 3 (41:11):
Yeah, And it's nice if the two of you both
need to like mutually do stuff like okay.
Speaker 5 (41:16):
Yeah, we're like, yeah, you're like I need to.
Speaker 8 (41:19):
I need I'm just trying to send this explosive through
the mail and I need to I need to double wrap.
Speaker 1 (41:27):
Well, great, that was bailor.
Speaker 4 (41:28):
Now so there is there's a segment where we get
some some listener mail. All right, people people write in
and they either have like they have a tale about
being canceled on and they'd like us to weigh out
and waiting in on it.
Speaker 5 (41:48):
I just noticed by the way, I didn't see any
of the look at this.
Speaker 1 (41:51):
Yeah, we didn't go to any of those things.
Speaker 2 (41:55):
It's very cool, Okay.
Speaker 3 (41:58):
In two thousand and six, I was in middle school
and I had a day with a girl.
Speaker 2 (42:02):
The only obvious choice was a movie, and Click was
out there.
Speaker 5 (42:09):
Yeah that was great.
Speaker 2 (42:10):
I had already seen it with some friends, but chose
that for the date. Regardless.
Speaker 3 (42:14):
I got stood up, so I ended up watching it
by myself. We rescheduled and chose to go see Click again.
I got stood up again, So I ended up watching
Click three times in the twice by myself.
Speaker 2 (42:31):
That they're actually not asking for any.
Speaker 1 (42:34):
Of they wanted to get it out their chests, waited
to say.
Speaker 8 (42:40):
I think my advice would be go go check out
click again and see if it holds up.
Speaker 2 (42:48):
Sixth grade, two thousand and six, middle school.
Speaker 5 (42:52):
Okay, that's too that's too early to be making plans anyway.
Speaker 8 (42:59):
Yeah, something's that other person's going through something and all
of their families going on.
Speaker 5 (43:06):
Someone who was.
Speaker 1 (43:07):
Going on dates with girls to the movies in.
Speaker 4 (43:10):
Middle school, I feel like probably had a lot going
on for them, and they were doing pretty well.
Speaker 5 (43:15):
Yeah, so I really feel too bad about.
Speaker 4 (43:17):
Them to me, like, not like completely socially anoct at
that time.
Speaker 8 (43:22):
Is right to be able to like have the gumption
to ask someone on a date successfully?
Speaker 5 (43:27):
Yeah, Like, well it is not so successful. I don't know.
Speaker 3 (43:33):
I went on a date to the movies when I
was in middle school and his babysitter came with them.
Speaker 5 (43:42):
Minding that parents.
Speaker 2 (43:45):
So I looked freaking cool.
Speaker 3 (43:48):
His babysittersund like three seats three rows behind us.
Speaker 8 (43:53):
The babysitter's name was Mary Kayla Torno.
Speaker 5 (44:01):
Yeah, do you remember what the movie?
Speaker 2 (44:05):
I don't remember the movie.
Speaker 5 (44:06):
It was made a sepper? Is that what was called? Yeah?
So I'm so proud.
Speaker 3 (44:19):
But does anyone have a question for Nick, like about
a plan or anything you want to them that they're
upset about like either a bus bail on you and
you want to call us about it right now?
Speaker 5 (44:32):
Anything else? Go ahead?
Speaker 2 (44:34):
Can you come up here?
Speaker 1 (44:35):
A let's give her her hands.
Speaker 5 (44:45):
Hi. I'm Lucy.
Speaker 4 (44:47):
So.
Speaker 14 (44:48):
A couple of years ago you asked me to interview
to your assistance. Mary interviewed before me, and then you
and your wife Emil and said never mind.
Speaker 1 (45:01):
Yes, So I just want to know, like what gets.
Speaker 5 (45:04):
Yeah, the the it was the ultimate canceled plan. The
truth is. The truth is we had met with Mary,
and we.
Speaker 8 (45:22):
Also knew that you guys have worked together on and
off stage.
Speaker 2 (45:27):
No I don't know where.
Speaker 8 (45:31):
And we thought, rather than interview you and then choose Mary,
better not to interview you take that fully off the
table and then choose Mary. Well, that's because I could
(45:52):
be on the same really smart. Yeah, yeah, I'm glad
we finally married that hatchet. Let's go act wrong sometimes.
Speaker 3 (46:08):
That actually is one of the most like sweet things
that ever happened.
Speaker 2 (46:12):
Like you guys are like, we're good, we've met you
were Yeah.
Speaker 5 (46:15):
It just felt like you know, that's I mean, that's uh,
and we were right.
Speaker 8 (46:19):
It was such a it's such an intimate thing to
let someone into your life.
Speaker 5 (46:25):
Uh, and you were wonderful and now and now now
you're in it.
Speaker 8 (46:31):
Yeah, and Lucy and I started a production company.
Speaker 3 (46:40):
Okay, anybody else, guys, anything you say it will be fun.
Speaker 8 (46:45):
I promise that I won't make fun of you directly.
I'll find a way to make you humorous without making the.
Speaker 1 (46:49):
Expect of it.
Speaker 8 (46:50):
Yes, yeah, instead of hiring you, we knew we were
going to hire Lucy, So it's good.
Speaker 5 (47:07):
Yeah, it's gonna see.
Speaker 2 (47:09):
If anyone else almost got Is there someone else?
Speaker 1 (47:15):
I had a question.
Speaker 3 (47:16):
Yeah, my husband bailed on coming tonight, So what should
I tell him when I go home?
Speaker 1 (47:25):
Like some spectacle.
Speaker 2 (47:26):
You guys are funny, obviously, but like, what else can
I say that he missed?
Speaker 5 (47:29):
Sure?
Speaker 8 (47:33):
Uh say that we talked exclusively about what happened for.
Speaker 5 (47:37):
Real during Don't Worry Darling.
Speaker 8 (47:53):
But then I said afterwards it's not safe for the podcast,
so it just stayed here.
Speaker 2 (48:00):
I need to scrap the episode entirely.
Speaker 5 (48:05):
But we all know this is just kind of blown
by Nick. It's been a delight. I'm gonna be honest,
it's been a fucking chore for me.
Speaker 1 (48:20):
I appreciate it.
Speaker 8 (48:21):
Oh man, what a fun premise for a show. You
guys are doing a great job. What a fun night,
and what a what a what a great audience.
Speaker 2 (48:29):
Yeah, this was this was perfect.
Speaker 1 (48:31):
This was perfect. Nick has has several things coming out. Yeah,
over the next few weeks, we have big mouths coming back.
Speaker 8 (48:42):
Taking There's a new show that I produced and directed
some of called Adults that's coming out on FX.
Speaker 5 (48:54):
And I don't know the official day. Put me and
Andrew Reynolds, this movie that we did together.
Speaker 8 (48:58):
I don't understand you will be coming out as well,
right around the same time. And uh yeah, so uh
don't look, don't watch any of my stuff. And then
over three weeks, just consume so much of my content
whever you're so sick of me. Then I'll go away
for a while and then.
Speaker 5 (49:19):
I'll come back and just fucking shove it down your throat.
Don't we all wish we could have gone out on that.
Don't worry, darling, we didn't want to end it.
Speaker 8 (49:34):
Plugs, baby, when I'm here for the fucking plugs.
Speaker 5 (49:41):
That's what I said when I went to Turkey.
Speaker 2 (49:47):
All right, serious canceling on this.
Speaker 8 (49:50):
Oh my god, I thought about it. I didn't I
rushed to put my kids to sleep and came over
here and what a what a delightful what a what
a delightful show, and what a playful night.
Speaker 5 (50:04):
It's great to great to be with. That's the thing.
Speaker 8 (50:06):
How often when you when you don't cancel and you
go through with it, are you do you regret it?
Speaker 5 (50:17):
Really? You'll be like, I shouldn't have gone out tonight.
Speaker 3 (50:20):
Yeah, sometimes because like the social anxiety that hits after
or just like oh, like I drove and parked and
then I had to get back and drive and park
again to get home.
Speaker 5 (50:37):
Yeah, there's okay, and that we should have ended the show.
But I think, yeah, I think it is situational and
it's the person. It's really who you're with.
Speaker 8 (50:46):
If that person, I mean, there's big old parties that
are gonna be Some people like those, some people don't.
Speaker 5 (50:50):
There's one on one hangs and you have.
Speaker 8 (50:52):
To decide who gives you energy and who drains you.
And sometimes you have to see the people that drain you.
And but sometimes you you'll be like I should I
don't want to do this, And then you park and
then you go in and you realize that you've been
friends with someone for a long.
Speaker 5 (51:05):
Time and their witness to your life.
Speaker 8 (51:07):
And you can't share who you are with that many people,
and so those moments can be really beautiful and energizing,
So embrace those when you when you have them.
Speaker 15 (51:18):
Hey, guys, you know, get up out of here safe.
(51:44):
Thank you much for making it out today.
Speaker 5 (51:47):
We love you. Thank you adjusted up in the booth.
Speaker 1 (51:52):
Thank you for help down.
Speaker 5 (51:54):
The UCB getter of the.
Speaker 2 (51:56):
Best our podcasts.
Speaker 1 (51:59):
Our second season just started.
Speaker 4 (52:01):
Our our first episode came out last week and had
Lacey Mosley from Scam Godsend.
Speaker 1 (52:05):
It's a very funny episode.
Speaker 3 (52:06):
It's not you Too, Yes, Spotify, Apple, wherever you get
your podcasts.
Speaker 1 (52:12):
We're around, Love you bye,
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